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Anon Plays too much video games | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/09/21(Sun)14:28:35 No.854002332 >Be me >playing video games on Sunday night >comfy as hell >very invested in game >See a light coming through my 51 KB JPG window. >"Oh s---, I stayed up all night playing video games!" >panicking as I think about another exhausting day at work. >look out window >turns out that it's just the mushroom cloud from a nuclear warhead >crisisaverted.exe
: Anonymous 05/09/21(Sun)14:28:35 No.854002332 >Be me >playing video games on Sunday night >comfy as hell >very invested in game >See a light coming through my 51 KB JPG window. >"Oh s---, I stayed up all night playing video games!" >panicking as I think about another exhausting day at work. >look out window >turns out that it's just the mushroom cloud from a nuclear warhead >crisisaverted.exe

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/x/anon got abducted | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 06/30/21(Wed)00:09:07 No.29173381 >get abducted >wake up on spaceship >naked alien chick walks in >no fangs in her p--- so so-far-so-good >says they want to find out something about my species >ohboybetitshumanreproduction >"now comes the part where you undress me like in the movies?" >"what? no, we are interested in how the human digestive system works" >already started undressing while she was babbling >get kicked out of spaceship for being a horny virgin thanks, p---
Anonymous 06/30/21(Wed)00:09:07 No.29173381 >get abducted >wake up on spaceship >naked alien chick walks in >no fangs in her p--- so so-far-so-good >says they want to find out something about my species >ohboybetitshumanreproduction >"now comes the part where you undress me like in the movies?" >"what? no, we are interested in how the human digestive system works" >already started undressing while she was babbling >get kicked out of spaceship for being a horny virgin thanks, p---

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Anon is lazy | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/29/21(Tue)18:25:22 No.64371304 > "Do you exercise often, anon?" > Is m----------- an exercise? > "I guess so" > Then no. 18 KB JPG
: Anonymous 06/29/21(Tue)18:25:22 No.64371304 > "Do you exercise often, anon?" > Is m----------- an exercise? > "I guess so" > Then no. 18 KB JPG

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Boomer destroys lib soyjack with his manly facts and logic | /r/Greentext


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Anon thinks about something | /r/Greentext


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Anon likes the footy | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: BGR+bin8 06/29/21(Tue)19:03:18 No.328047736 NFC20SFC GREGGS JO0,000 WHiTE GIRLS SolD TO PAKISI NORF 1624962462427.png 53 KB PNG >TONIGHT on Engurland News. A huge p--------- ring operating out of an Islamic community centre in the heart of Manchester has been exposed. Up to ten thousand girls may have been trafficked and abused on an industrial scale. >Knife crime is still increasing. Today has seen the death toll rise to 710 in one London borough alone. >Another terror plot exposed to put anthrax in every packet of Walkers crisps in the country has bee- >WOT DA F-- IS THIS DEPRESSING S--- I FOOKIN HATE THE NEWS. WHY CAN'T THEY SHOW SOME HAPPY NEWS FOR FOOKIN ONCE? PUT ON THE FOOTIE, LUV. >We bring you back to the EPIC clash between Norf F.C and Suverner F.C at the Emirati Saif Al Islam Stadium! >GO ON AL-RASHIDI! GO ON MY SON, HAMMER IT! YOU F-----' LEGEND! YOU F-----' BEAUTY! >GO000000 00000AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAАAAAАAAAAAAAAААAAAAL
: Anonymous (ID: BGR+bin8 06/29/21(Tue)19:03:18 No.328047736 NFC20SFC GREGGS JO0,000 WHiTE GIRLS SolD TO PAKISI NORF 1624962462427.png 53 KB PNG >TONIGHT on Engurland News. A huge p--------- ring operating out of an Islamic community centre in the heart of Manchester has been exposed. Up to ten thousand girls may have been trafficked and abused on an industrial scale. >Knife crime is still increasing. Today has seen the death toll rise to 710 in one London borough alone. >Another terror plot exposed to put anthrax in every packet of Walkers crisps in the country has bee- >WOT DA F-- IS THIS DEPRESSING S--- I FOOKIN HATE THE NEWS. WHY CAN'T THEY SHOW SOME HAPPY NEWS FOR FOOKIN ONCE? PUT ON THE FOOTIE, LUV. >We bring you back to the EPIC clash between Norf F.C and Suverner F.C at the Emirati Saif Al Islam Stadium! >GO ON AL-RASHIDI! GO ON MY SON, HAMMER IT! YOU F-----' LEGEND! YOU F-----' BEAUTY! >GO000000 00000AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAАAAAАAAAAAAAAААAAAAL

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The Fart Connoisseur goes shopping | /r/Greentext


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Anon has pride | /r/Greentext


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Anon is a slow learner | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/29/21(Tue)21:18:41 No.64365247 >yes I'm 32 years old >why yes, I wasn't potty trained until the towers fell 145 KB PNG
: Anonymous 06/29/21(Tue)21:18:41 No.64365247 >yes I'm 32 years old >why yes, I wasn't potty trained until the towers fell 145 KB PNG

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Anon looks at a girl | /r/Greentext


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Anon gives a driving lesson | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/28/21 (Mon)11:22:22 No.24285825 >delivering pizzas >drive 15 miles over the limit at all times >traction control? always off >fat gay pissan murano with STUDENT DRIVER magnets is doing 5 under in front of me 92 KB JPG >one lane turns into a two lane >pissan stays in the left lane >pass it on the right, 20 year old V8 screaming through leaky exhaust >fat, red faced boomer driving instructor leans out the passenger window >screams YoU cAnT dO tHaT >flip him the bird and tell him to go f--- himself >teenage girl learning to drive's face when >>24288315 # >>24288472 # >>24289423 # >>24290916 #
: Anonymous 06/28/21 (Mon)11:22:22 No.24285825 >delivering pizzas >drive 15 miles over the limit at all times >traction control? always off >fat gay pissan murano with STUDENT DRIVER magnets is doing 5 under in front of me 92 KB JPG >one lane turns into a two lane >pissan stays in the left lane >pass it on the right, 20 year old V8 screaming through leaky exhaust >fat, red faced boomer driving instructor leans out the passenger window >screams YoU cAnT dO tHaT >flip him the bird and tell him to go f--- himself >teenage girl learning to drive's face when >>24288315 # >>24288472 # >>24289423 # >>24290916 #

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Anon uses Craigslist | /r/Greentext


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Anon is McDonald’s | /r/Greentext


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Anon gets catfished | /r/Greentext


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Anon lives in America | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/21/21(Mon)14:22:03 No.3841421 >be american >walk outside >swarmed by black widows, hobo spiders, and brown recluses >get tag teamed by a puma and a grizzly bear >before they can finish you off, an elk charges you and impales you 483 KB PNG on its horns >as you are being carried into the sunset, bleeding out, missing a few limbs and part of your face, with spots of your remaining flesh rotting, you say >"australia is so dangerous lol" >and then a massive pack of introduced canadian wolves takes down the elk and uses you as a chew toy >you would get a proper funeral if someone found you at this point, but coyotes move in to take the scraps, and finally your national symbol, the bald eagle, steals the bones Why is the US so deadly? I can't think of a country that has to deal with deadlier animals except africa maybe 39 Replies / 7 Images View Thread
: Anonymous 06/21/21(Mon)14:22:03 No.3841421 >be american >walk outside >swarmed by black widows, hobo spiders, and brown recluses >get tag teamed by a puma and a grizzly bear >before they can finish you off, an elk charges you and impales you 483 KB PNG on its horns >as you are being carried into the sunset, bleeding out, missing a few limbs and part of your face, with spots of your remaining flesh rotting, you say >"australia is so dangerous lol" >and then a massive pack of introduced canadian wolves takes down the elk and uses you as a chew toy >you would get a proper funeral if someone found you at this point, but coyotes move in to take the scraps, and finally your national symbol, the bald eagle, steals the bones Why is the US so deadly? I can't think of a country that has to deal with deadlier animals except africa maybe 39 Replies / 7 Images View Thread

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Anon likes feet | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/29/21(Tue)06:05:28 No.857934447 >Be Me >Footfag >Girl I work with came in with open toe sandals yesterday >Hard as f--- all day >Had to whack out quick one in restroom on break >Still hard thinking about those cute little 26 KB PNG piggy's >Why am I like this? >l dream about her soles sliding up and down my shaft >l'd pay money to smell them >l make myself sick >Why can't I like t--- like everyone else? 9 Replies / 1 Image View Thread
: Anonymous 06/29/21(Tue)06:05:28 No.857934447 >Be Me >Footfag >Girl I work with came in with open toe sandals yesterday >Hard as f--- all day >Had to whack out quick one in restroom on break >Still hard thinking about those cute little 26 KB PNG piggy's >Why am I like this? >l dream about her soles sliding up and down my shaft >l'd pay money to smell them >l make myself sick >Why can't I like t--- like everyone else? 9 Replies / 1 Image View Thread

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