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Anon is proud | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/27/21 (Wed)12:22:34 No.54207739C >>542071209 (OP) # >the year is 2022 >gamestop market cap is now valued at 50 billion dollars >visit my local gamestop 111 KB JPG >the smell of urine, body odor and energy drink burps, no longer present in the air, instead replaced by a trail of petunias and daffodils leading to the revolving door entrance >leave my coat with the doorman and check myself in before walking into the air conditioned 2,000 square foot three story building with valet service >immediately greeted by the sounds of Vivaldi's Spring performed by the shop's string quartet on the way in >walk past the marble water fountains and roman pillars to the used blu-ray aisle >pick up a $3 copy of the classic Nicolas Cage film Drive Angry >guy in a tuxedo at the checkout puts on his white gloves and bags it for me while I enjoy a spoonful of complimentary caviar >sign up for the preorder list of Kerbal Space Program 2 and leave my signature in the guestbook >bellboy carries my bag for me to the entrance and wishes me a good evening
: Anonymous 01/27/21 (Wed)12:22:34 No.54207739C >>542071209 (OP) # >the year is 2022 >gamestop market cap is now valued at 50 billion dollars >visit my local gamestop 111 KB JPG >the smell of urine, body odor and energy drink burps, no longer present in the air, instead replaced by a trail of petunias and daffodils leading to the revolving door entrance >leave my coat with the doorman and check myself in before walking into the air conditioned 2,000 square foot three story building with valet service >immediately greeted by the sounds of Vivaldi's Spring performed by the shop's string quartet on the way in >walk past the marble water fountains and roman pillars to the used blu-ray aisle >pick up a $3 copy of the classic Nicolas Cage film Drive Angry >guy in a tuxedo at the checkout puts on his white gloves and bags it for me while I enjoy a spoonful of complimentary caviar >sign up for the preorder list of Kerbal Space Program 2 and leave my signature in the guestbook >bellboy carries my bag for me to the entrance and wishes me a good evening

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Anon goes to an alt reality | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 08/11/22(Thu)03:37:46 No.883689730 >>883689959 >>883691691 >wake up this morning >weigh self >179 lbs >take massive, nearly mind altering s--- >curiosity.jpg >step back on scale >181 lbs what happened here b? did i possibly s--- myself into an alternate reality where i am 2 lbs heavier? Anonymous 08/11/22(Thu)03:41:55 No.883689825 Yes
Anonymous 08/11/22(Thu)03:37:46 No.883689730 >>883689959 >>883691691 >wake up this morning >weigh self >179 lbs >take massive, nearly mind altering s--- >curiosity.jpg >step back on scale >181 lbs what happened here b? did i possibly s--- myself into an alternate reality where i am 2 lbs heavier? Anonymous 08/11/22(Thu)03:41:55 No.883689825 Yes

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Anon’s mom is the impostor | /r/Greentext

ooooooo 1000000000 Casas oooooor 207 KB JPG MY MOM IS MANIPULATING AND CONTROLING ME > be me > 18, virgin > got mental breakdown cuz I have no friends > my moms reaction was: "w-- anon you dont need friends you have family" > I remember that she already told this to me when I was 15 yo > "They all have GFs just to look manly anon" I wasnt allowed going out until I was 18 no joke guys. > Now i put these things together > my mom doesnt love me she just want to control me cuz she literally can see every flaw in me > she knows about my depression, anxiety and she doesnt care > she just care only about that I dont drink and I am just studying > She literally made up my social awkwardness (I was really extroverted in my youth) just to control me. She didnt allow me to socialize. What to do? I cant move out yet cuz I have no money what would you do on my place? Now I am working on getting some friends
ooooooo 1000000000 Casas oooooor 207 KB JPG MY MOM IS MANIPULATING AND CONTROLING ME > be me > 18, virgin > got mental breakdown cuz I have no friends > my moms reaction was: "w-- anon you dont need friends you have family" > I remember that she already told this to me when I was 15 yo > "They all have GFs just to look manly anon" I wasnt allowed going out until I was 18 no joke guys. > Now i put these things together > my mom doesnt love me she just want to control me cuz she literally can see every flaw in me > she knows about my depression, anxiety and she doesnt care > she just care only about that I dont drink and I am just studying > She literally made up my social awkwardness (I was really extroverted in my youth) just to control me. She didnt allow me to socialize. What to do? I cant move out yet cuz I have no money what would you do on my place? Now I am working on getting some friends

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Anon is a smegma | /r/Greentext

6h (9/4 10:16) 569636875 JPG 771KB (3024 × 3024) 1 Reply >windows 7 that hasn't been updated in over 5 years >download pirated games from russian sites monthly >watch pn daily >do all my banking on the same computer living on the edge
6h (9/4 10:16) 569636875 JPG 771KB (3024 × 3024) 1 Reply >windows 7 that hasn't been updated in over 5 years >download pirated games from russian sites monthly >watch pn daily >do all my banking on the same computer living on the edge

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most socially aware 4channer | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 34 KB JPG 08/11/22(Thu)15:19:54 No.69770100 >be me >dating an 8.5/10 for 1 year >sex everyday >she wants to try something new >wants me to degrade her "you're dumb and your sister is better than you" >breaks up with me
Anonymous 34 KB JPG 08/11/22(Thu)15:19:54 No.69770100 >be me >dating an 8.5/10 for 1 year >sex everyday >she wants to try something new >wants me to degrade her "you're dumb and your sister is better than you" >breaks up with me

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Black Anon gets his Karma | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous GAMES? 45 KB JPG : Anonymous 10 KB JPG 08/11/22(Thu)19:20:33 No.608682034 >be me >black anon >get on mic in a multiplayer lobby >say word >kicked from lobby >money stolen Explain to me how this is fair. 08/11/22(Thu)19:23:23 No.608682224 >>608682034 (OP) # >money stolen >implying you didn't steal it
: Anonymous GAMES? 45 KB JPG : Anonymous 10 KB JPG 08/11/22(Thu)19:20:33 No.608682034 >be me >black anon >get on mic in a multiplayer lobby >say word >kicked from lobby >money stolen Explain to me how this is fair. 08/11/22(Thu)19:23:23 No.608682224 >>608682034 (OP) # >money stolen >implying you didn't steal it

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Anons gf gets potassium iodide | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Potassium lodide 208 KB PNG 08/11/22(Thu)18:21:48 No.69768937 >be me >live near Ukraine >gf is paranoid gets potassium iodide tablets >eats 10 of them >gets thyroid cancer >mfw gf is autistic
: Anonymous Potassium lodide 208 KB PNG 08/11/22(Thu)18:21:48 No.69768937 >be me >live near Ukraine >gf is paranoid gets potassium iodide tablets >eats 10 of them >gets thyroid cancer >mfw gf is autistic

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Anons discuss Harry Potter | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 08/10/22 (Wed)20:44:27 No.172401645 ► >>172406368 >>172406527 >>172418866 >>172420300 >>172422733 >>172424269 >>172428709 >>172431435 >>172432789 >>172432869 >>172433220 >>172434839 >>172441229 >>172447589 >P000000-TTEEEEEER >DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT BY WAY OF THE POLYJUICE POTION FORCE YOUNG DRACO MALFROY TO TRANSFORM INTO A CUTE ANIME GIRL AND GANGRAPE HER FOR HOURS IN THE GRYFFINDOR COMMONS? >THREE HUNDRED AND TWENTY TWO POINTS TO GRYFFINDOR, ONE FOR EACH LOAD CURRENTLY OOZING OUT OF MISS DRACO'S TIGHT HENTAI SNATCH Anonymous 08/10/22 (Wed)22:19:31 No.172404036 >>172407727 >>172407967 >>172409532 >>172409956 >>172411079 >>172412075 >>172413415 >>172414191 2417602 >>172422911 >>172423009 >>172423495 >>172423752 >>172423778 >>172423840 >>172431572 >>172432854>>172434604>>172434900 >>172435720 >>172436207 2436332 >>172436366 >>172438160 >>172442447 >>172442697 >>172443295 >>172444397 >>172446231 9CB4C736-E450-4094-B71D-B(...).jpg (99 KB, 1073x810) >>172399710 (OP) HAAAAARRRRRYYYYY POTTTERRRRRR!!!!! DID YOU ENCHANT THE HUFFLEPUFF MIRRORS TO ONLY SHOW THEIR PRE TRANSITION GENDER?!?! HAGRID'S BEEN CLEARING OUT THE BODIES FOR HOURS NOW! I SAW FEWER FALLING FRUITS IN A SAN FRANCISCO HURRICANE! Anonymous 08/10/22(Wed)22:05:44 No.172403677 ► >>172411755 >>172419181 >>172420584>>172424445 >>172431501 >>172431738 >>172432854>>172433019 172440851 e: 9409062E-C53B-4A48-B08B-1(...).jpg (262 KB, 1508x2100) >"CHO CHANG!!! DID YOU PUT A BAT IN THE GOBLET OF DINNER?!!!" Dumbledore enquired serenely Anonymous 08/11/22(Thu)01:38:40 No.172410192 ► >>172410846 >>172411450 >>172412016 >>172414127 >>172414777 >>172419115 >>172421943 >>172422039 >172423623 >>172426196 >>172428382 >>172428548 >>172428800 >>172432908 >>172435167 >>172439395 >>172439885 >>172441409 >>172443358 >As he stretched his legs through the Great Hall, Harry caught sight of Ginny holding hands with Dean Thomas. He felt a pang of jealousy and again wondered who he should take to the Yule Ball. >"I don't approve of it either, Harry," Dumbledore said, having stretched his legs silently up to Harry's side and taking him by surprise, "Never have, never will." >"Professor?" said Harry, confused as to what the half-moon bespectacled old wizard was referring to. >"Miscegenation." He gave Harry a long and serious look before stretching his legs towards the door. After a few long strides he turned back and said "Just because I'm gay, doesn't mean that I don't care for the future of the white race. Heil Hitler." >"Heil Hitler." Harry responded before he had a chance to think about what he was saying. >A sudden outburst of sobbing made Harry twist around in time to see Ching Chong stretching her legs towards the bathroom. >Harry sighed and stretched his legs after her, rehearsing in his mind how he would explain to her that he considered her to be an honorary A----.
Anonymous 08/10/22 (Wed)20:44:27 No.172401645 ► >>172406368 >>172406527 >>172418866 >>172420300 >>172422733 >>172424269 >>172428709 >>172431435 >>172432789 >>172432869 >>172433220 >>172434839 >>172441229 >>172447589 >P000000-TTEEEEEER >DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT BY WAY OF THE POLYJUICE POTION FORCE YOUNG DRACO MALFROY TO TRANSFORM INTO A CUTE ANIME GIRL AND GANGRAPE HER FOR HOURS IN THE GRYFFINDOR COMMONS? >THREE HUNDRED AND TWENTY TWO POINTS TO GRYFFINDOR, ONE FOR EACH LOAD CURRENTLY OOZING OUT OF MISS DRACO'S TIGHT HENTAI SNATCH Anonymous 08/10/22 (Wed)22:19:31 No.172404036 >>172407727 >>172407967 >>172409532 >>172409956 >>172411079 >>172412075 >>172413415 >>172414191 2417602 >>172422911 >>172423009 >>172423495 >>172423752 >>172423778 >>172423840 >>172431572 >>172432854>>172434604>>172434900 >>172435720 >>172436207 2436332 >>172436366 >>172438160 >>172442447 >>172442697 >>172443295 >>172444397 >>172446231 9CB4C736-E450-4094-B71D-B(...).jpg (99 KB, 1073x810) >>172399710 (OP) HAAAAARRRRRYYYYY POTTTERRRRRR!!!!! DID YOU ENCHANT THE HUFFLEPUFF MIRRORS TO ONLY SHOW THEIR PRE TRANSITION GENDER?!?! HAGRID'S BEEN CLEARING OUT THE BODIES FOR HOURS NOW! I SAW FEWER FALLING FRUITS IN A SAN FRANCISCO HURRICANE! Anonymous 08/10/22(Wed)22:05:44 No.172403677 ► >>172411755 >>172419181 >>172420584>>172424445 >>172431501 >>172431738 >>172432854>>172433019 172440851 e: 9409062E-C53B-4A48-B08B-1(...).jpg (262 KB, 1508x2100) >"CHO CHANG!!! DID YOU PUT A BAT IN THE GOBLET OF DINNER?!!!" Dumbledore enquired serenely Anonymous 08/11/22(Thu)01:38:40 No.172410192 ► >>172410846 >>172411450 >>172412016 >>172414127 >>172414777 >>172419115 >>172421943 >>172422039 >172423623 >>172426196 >>172428382 >>172428548 >>172428800 >>172432908 >>172435167 >>172439395 >>172439885 >>172441409 >>172443358 >As he stretched his legs through the Great Hall, Harry caught sight of Ginny holding hands with Dean Thomas. He felt a pang of jealousy and again wondered who he should take to the Yule Ball. >"I don't approve of it either, Harry," Dumbledore said, having stretched his legs silently up to Harry's side and taking him by surprise, "Never have, never will." >"Professor?" said Harry, confused as to what the half-moon bespectacled old wizard was referring to. >"Miscegenation." He gave Harry a long and serious look before stretching his legs towards the door. After a few long strides he turned back and said "Just because I'm gay, doesn't mean that I don't care for the future of the white race. Heil Hitler." >"Heil Hitler." Harry responded before he had a chance to think about what he was saying. >A sudden outburst of sobbing made Harry twist around in time to see Ching Chong stretching her legs towards the bathroom. >Harry sighed and stretched his legs after her, rehearsing in his mind how he would explain to her that he considered her to be an honorary A----.

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anon wipes | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/11/22(Thu)04:26:09 No.883689466 gigachad.jpg 33 KB JPG >take massive s--- >wipe >no poop on the paper, just blood
: Anonymous 08/11/22(Thu)04:26:09 No.883689466 gigachad.jpg 33 KB JPG >take massive s--- >wipe >no poop on the paper, just blood

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Anon doesnt like old people | /r/Greentext

[=] File (hide): 1642358988016.png (716.72 KB, 1320x1076, new533426.png) PRIORITY SEAT Be considerate. Give up this seat to a passenger with special needs. Chud 01/16/22 (Sun) 18:49:48 No.212977 [Reply] >>213012 >I'm le old >therefore the seat is mine polician Respect Your Elders
[=] File (hide): 1642358988016.png (716.72 KB, 1320x1076, new533426.png) PRIORITY SEAT Be considerate. Give up this seat to a passenger with special needs. Chud 01/16/22 (Sun) 18:49:48 No.212977 [Reply] >>213012 >I'm le old >therefore the seat is mine polician Respect Your Elders

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Anons discuss the finer things | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: e7lcS21K) 2 45 KB JPG >>15507405 # 06/18/22(Sat)09:32:57 No.15507393 >>15505732 (OP) # When a giraffe swallows food, how long does it take for the food to travel down it's throat and to it's stomach : Anonymous (ID: 1/yliour 06/18/22(Sat) 09:35:30 No.15507405 >>15507393 # Idk man but I bet it feels like how a piano feels when you run a finger from the high key all the way to the low key.
: Anonymous (ID: e7lcS21K) 2 45 KB JPG >>15507405 # 06/18/22(Sat)09:32:57 No.15507393 >>15505732 (OP) # When a giraffe swallows food, how long does it take for the food to travel down it's throat and to it's stomach : Anonymous (ID: 1/yliour 06/18/22(Sat) 09:35:30 No.15507405 >>15507393 # Idk man but I bet it feels like how a piano feels when you run a finger from the high key all the way to the low key.

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Anon is standmaxxer | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous standmaxxing 177 KB JPG 08/11/22(Thu)12:17:38 No.69766496 >be me >standmaxxing at grandma's funeral >my mom tells me to sit down because mass is starting >told her i cant because im standmaxxing >get beaten by my father why are boomers like this? 08/11/22(Thu)12:21:02 No.69766524 : Anonymous >>69766496 (OP) # W-- is standmaxxing? You f------ comes up with a new words every single day. >get beaten by my father Based dad
: Anonymous standmaxxing 177 KB JPG 08/11/22(Thu)12:17:38 No.69766496 >be me >standmaxxing at grandma's funeral >my mom tells me to sit down because mass is starting >told her i cant because im standmaxxing >get beaten by my father why are boomers like this? 08/11/22(Thu)12:21:02 No.69766524 : Anonymous >>69766496 (OP) # W-- is standmaxxing? You f------ comes up with a new words every single day. >get beaten by my father Based dad

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anon meets a girl | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/11/22(Thu)16:01:29 No.883695663 >be me few months back >meet a cute girl >hit it off, she's super adorable and appears tradwife material >simps for me like crazy, obedient, loves to make me happy >at the same time has dreams, ambitions and takes her job seriously >encourages me to continue being independent and still see my friends etc 5 KB JPG >ffw few days back >tells me a s-- story about how 5 years ago she was a different person >turns out she had a whole "phase" back then where her diet consisted of random black d--- and cocaine but she "left all that behind" >instantly loses half of value in my eyes, can't even look at her without seeing her being f----- and dumped by degenerates What do I do anons, I just got invested and we were doing so well, why do women have to ruin themselves. like this
: Anonymous 08/11/22(Thu)16:01:29 No.883695663 >be me few months back >meet a cute girl >hit it off, she's super adorable and appears tradwife material >simps for me like crazy, obedient, loves to make me happy >at the same time has dreams, ambitions and takes her job seriously >encourages me to continue being independent and still see my friends etc 5 KB JPG >ffw few days back >tells me a s-- story about how 5 years ago she was a different person >turns out she had a whole "phase" back then where her diet consisted of random black d--- and cocaine but she "left all that behind" >instantly loses half of value in my eyes, can't even look at her without seeing her being f----- and dumped by degenerates What do I do anons, I just got invested and we were doing so well, why do women have to ruin themselves. like this

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Anon gets bullied | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10 KB JPG Anonymous 114 KB PNG We are truly the real winners Anonymous 411 KB JPG >>52772696 # 06/05/19(Wed)17:57:40 No.52771831 Anonymous Why do yall make fun of virgins? 411 KB JPG >No STD's >No toxic exes >No child support >>52772118 # >>52772175 # >>52772688 # >>52772696 # >>52772722 # >>52773112 # >>52773312 # >>52773328 # >>52773372 # >>52773532 # >Can't get #Metoo'd if become famous >Save tons of money 06/05/19(Wed)18:01:50 No.52771891 >>52771831 (OP) # Found the virgin 06/05/19(Wed)18:17:12 No.52772118 >>52771891 # F----- virgin lol 06/05/19(Wed)18:20:51 No.52772175 >>52771891 # Haha wusup you virgin
: Anonymous 10 KB JPG Anonymous 114 KB PNG We are truly the real winners Anonymous 411 KB JPG >>52772696 # 06/05/19(Wed)17:57:40 No.52771831 Anonymous Why do yall make fun of virgins? 411 KB JPG >No STD's >No toxic exes >No child support >>52772118 # >>52772175 # >>52772688 # >>52772696 # >>52772722 # >>52773112 # >>52773312 # >>52773328 # >>52773372 # >>52773532 # >Can't get #Metoo'd if become famous >Save tons of money 06/05/19(Wed)18:01:50 No.52771891 >>52771831 (OP) # Found the virgin 06/05/19(Wed)18:17:12 No.52772118 >>52771891 # F----- virgin lol 06/05/19(Wed)18:20:51 No.52772175 >>52771891 # Haha wusup you virgin

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Anon has a revelation | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 96 KB JPG 08/11/22(Thu)08:38:22 No.69764119 >when using 4chan >sad, angry, stressed, lonely, hopeless >when not using 4chan >happy, positive, empathic, hopeful I honestly don't know why i keep coming back to this cesspool if i know i will just feel worse after using it, HELP 14 Replies / 4 Images View Thread
Anonymous 96 KB JPG 08/11/22(Thu)08:38:22 No.69764119 >when using 4chan >sad, angry, stressed, lonely, hopeless >when not using 4chan >happy, positive, empathic, hopeful I honestly don't know why i keep coming back to this cesspool if i know i will just feel worse after using it, HELP 14 Replies / 4 Images View Thread

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Female anon's college love story | /r/Greentext

Ⓡ 106 KB JPG >be me at 21, college >Female virgin, never seen a real d---, overweight, well aware of 4chan... >Eating at a campus restaurant one day >Guy from the school comes up to me, asks me out >I stutter like crazy but mutter a yes >We go to a musical and go to dinner >He takes me back to his place >We cuddle on his couch >Things escalate, we make out >He asks me if I'm willing to give him a b------, I accept >He unzips, it's huge and circumcized >I start licking the tip >I put it in my mouth and go as deep as I can >Start going too deep and I gag >Gag again, trying to get it out >I throw up all over his c--- and balls >Throw up again all over his stomach >He throws up all over me >I start crying and walk out of the room >He says "it's ok please don't leave" >I say "you you you too" >I walk out of his place crying >I call my mom, tell her honestly about my night >She takes me to get Ice cream. >Mom says it's ok and her first time was awkward too >She also asks why I accepted a date from him considering he's the music teacher and he's 67 years old >I tell her I didn't know any better and that I'm of legal age so its ok I really wish I could've had another chance, professor Johnson, if you're out there, I loved the taste of your d---
Ⓡ 106 KB JPG >be me at 21, college >Female virgin, never seen a real d---, overweight, well aware of 4chan... >Eating at a campus restaurant one day >Guy from the school comes up to me, asks me out >I stutter like crazy but mutter a yes >We go to a musical and go to dinner >He takes me back to his place >We cuddle on his couch >Things escalate, we make out >He asks me if I'm willing to give him a b------, I accept >He unzips, it's huge and circumcized >I start licking the tip >I put it in my mouth and go as deep as I can >Start going too deep and I gag >Gag again, trying to get it out >I throw up all over his c--- and balls >Throw up again all over his stomach >He throws up all over me >I start crying and walk out of the room >He says "it's ok please don't leave" >I say "you you you too" >I walk out of his place crying >I call my mom, tell her honestly about my night >She takes me to get Ice cream. >Mom says it's ok and her first time was awkward too >She also asks why I accepted a date from him considering he's the music teacher and he's 67 years old >I tell her I didn't know any better and that I'm of legal age so its ok I really wish I could've had another chance, professor Johnson, if you're out there, I loved the taste of your d---

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