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Anon watches The Day After Tomorrow | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/11/21(Mon)04:57:54 No.157474389 >Watching The Day After Tomorrow at the movie theater. >It's a hot summer day. >Someone yells "Turn up the air conditioner!" >Out of nowhere, some other guy yells "This is life in the real word, you f------ rich boy" or something. Dude was p-----. >Two guys, sitting on opposite ends of the movie theater, get into a shouting match over social classes in the middle of the movie. >"F--- you, m-----------, it's hot as f---!" >"That's how it is in the hood!" >End after at about 5 minutes of argument. >Later in the movie. >New Ice Age, s---'s all frozen. >"Cold enough for you, rich boy?" >"M-----------, l'll beat you". >Another shouting match, schedule fight for once movie is over. >Movie is over. >Both guys bail. >>157474478 # : Anonymous 10/11/21(Mon)05:00:25 No.157474478 >>157474389 # Sounds comfy.
: Anonymous 10/11/21(Mon)04:57:54 No.157474389 >Watching The Day After Tomorrow at the movie theater. >It's a hot summer day. >Someone yells "Turn up the air conditioner!" >Out of nowhere, some other guy yells "This is life in the real word, you f------ rich boy" or something. Dude was p-----. >Two guys, sitting on opposite ends of the movie theater, get into a shouting match over social classes in the middle of the movie. >"F--- you, m-----------, it's hot as f---!" >"That's how it is in the hood!" >End after at about 5 minutes of argument. >Later in the movie. >New Ice Age, s---'s all frozen. >"Cold enough for you, rich boy?" >"M-----------, l'll beat you". >Another shouting match, schedule fight for once movie is over. >Movie is over. >Both guys bail. >>157474478 # : Anonymous 10/11/21(Mon)05:00:25 No.157474478 >>157474389 # Sounds comfy.

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Don't Fuck With Anon | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/20/21(Tue)15:08:02 No.62662469 >be me 5'10 >at party chatting to 3 qts and a 6'1 lanklet know his height cos we used to play sports together >qts ask lanklet how tall he is >"i'm 5'11" bastard gives me the 33 KB JPG biggest s--- eating grin >qts turn to me >jump in before they can ask me >"that's not possible i'm 5'6 so you gotta be 5'9 at at most" >qts burst out laughing, lanklet starts spurting that he's actually 6'1 >"no way why would anon lie about being 5'6" Dont f--- with me lanklets i can bring you down to my level
: Anonymous 07/20/21(Tue)15:08:02 No.62662469 >be me 5'10 >at party chatting to 3 qts and a 6'1 lanklet know his height cos we used to play sports together >qts ask lanklet how tall he is >"i'm 5'11" bastard gives me the 33 KB JPG biggest s--- eating grin >qts turn to me >jump in before they can ask me >"that's not possible i'm 5'6 so you gotta be 5'9 at at most" >qts burst out laughing, lanklet starts spurting that he's actually 6'1 >"no way why would anon lie about being 5'6" Dont f--- with me lanklets i can bring you down to my level

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Anon is perplexed, but slightly pleased | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/10/21(Sun)21:22:31 No.65710272 >at a student dorm party >see girl in the middle of a couch, knees bent to her chest, idly holding a bottle of beer, staring at the floor, blank face >"are you okay?" >30 sec pause 11 KB JPG >"yeah" >"you sure?" >30 sec pause >"yeah", smiling this time >i force a cheer with my can of rockstar and leave >the entire night she's still a downer, but whenever we glanced at eachother she smiled >last night >meet her again >still a downer, but noticeably happier when she sees me >we exchange some pleasantries in a 20min conv >asks me if i prefer energy drinks over coffee and i tell her i have no way to make coffee myself >offers to make me a cup of coffee herself >she's giddy the entire time >we stay a little longer, and then she then bails to sleep at 23:45 >haven't seen her since >her roommate always waves at me now w-- happened?
: Anonymous 10/10/21(Sun)21:22:31 No.65710272 >at a student dorm party >see girl in the middle of a couch, knees bent to her chest, idly holding a bottle of beer, staring at the floor, blank face >"are you okay?" >30 sec pause 11 KB JPG >"yeah" >"you sure?" >30 sec pause >"yeah", smiling this time >i force a cheer with my can of rockstar and leave >the entire night she's still a downer, but whenever we glanced at eachother she smiled >last night >meet her again >still a downer, but noticeably happier when she sees me >we exchange some pleasantries in a 20min conv >asks me if i prefer energy drinks over coffee and i tell her i have no way to make coffee myself >offers to make me a cup of coffee herself >she's giddy the entire time >we stay a little longer, and then she then bails to sleep at 23:45 >haven't seen her since >her roommate always waves at me now w-- happened?

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anon revolutionizes comfort | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/21/21(Sat)00:03:43 No.861472741 Has anyone used an under bed storage bin for their mattress-poop- hole setup? I feel like this could be a game changer. >poop through mattress poop hole >it falls into bin (pic related) 634 KB JPG >remove bin every week and rinse with hose Did I just discover a game changer? Are there reasons not to do this?
: Anonymous 08/21/21(Sat)00:03:43 No.861472741 Has anyone used an under bed storage bin for their mattress-poop- hole setup? I feel like this could be a game changer. >poop through mattress poop hole >it falls into bin (pic related) 634 KB JPG >remove bin every week and rinse with hose Did I just discover a game changer? Are there reasons not to do this?

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Anon takes Xanax | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/21/21(Wed)22:43:22 No.64663879 >took Xanax >became a chad >ended up talking to a girl who isnt fat or ugly >l just come out and tell her im a neet who makes money off crypto and does nothing all day >she sends me naked videos and 22 KB JPG pictures and asks me to come f--- I am living the rest of my life on Xanax or ill die trying
: Anonymous 07/21/21(Wed)22:43:22 No.64663879 >took Xanax >became a chad >ended up talking to a girl who isnt fat or ugly >l just come out and tell her im a neet who makes money off crypto and does nothing all day >she sends me naked videos and 22 KB JPG pictures and asks me to come f--- I am living the rest of my life on Xanax or ill die trying

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Anon is an alpha male | /r/Greentext

File: 1474885625692.jpg (39 KB, 509x619) times where you have almost made it Anonymous 03/09/17(Thu)11:23:00 No.40643882 [Reply] >>40644281 >>40644891 >>40643911 >>40643931 >>40643932 >>40643942 >>40643946 >>40644094 >>40644105 >>40644114 >>40644126 >>40644145 I am considering to renovate my apartment just to distract me from being myself /fit/ >visiting female friend I have known for many years >do friend stuff, nothing fancy >plan was that I stay the night if it gets too late >oh boy I have prepared myself so long for this >clean shaven, got my best cologne out and even bought a nice new tracksuit to hang around at her place ( we are long past gone the point where we pretend to not be hobo-tier while being at home ) >at night >we go to sleep and browse s--- on our phones >could clearly see her miring when I got out of the shower before bed >I have lifted so long for this very moment >decide to be bold it's now or never >"hey wanna have sex?" >ALPHA AS F--- this is my new me >she puts phone down and smirks "uhm haha what? I mean yea sure why not" >stare at her for 5 seconds >bros you can't imagine how long 5 seconds can be >autism spike >look at her and say "yea well I didn't expect that answer" >silence >she looks at me for a few seconds clearly expecting me to make a move >she eventually rolls over with her back to me and gets back on her phone >don't talk or even mention it next morning Hold me, /fit/. Please hold me and tell me everything is going to be alright
File: 1474885625692.jpg (39 KB, 509x619) times where you have almost made it Anonymous 03/09/17(Thu)11:23:00 No.40643882 [Reply] >>40644281 >>40644891 >>40643911 >>40643931 >>40643932 >>40643942 >>40643946 >>40644094 >>40644105 >>40644114 >>40644126 >>40644145 I am considering to renovate my apartment just to distract me from being myself /fit/ >visiting female friend I have known for many years >do friend stuff, nothing fancy >plan was that I stay the night if it gets too late >oh boy I have prepared myself so long for this >clean shaven, got my best cologne out and even bought a nice new tracksuit to hang around at her place ( we are long past gone the point where we pretend to not be hobo-tier while being at home ) >at night >we go to sleep and browse s--- on our phones >could clearly see her miring when I got out of the shower before bed >I have lifted so long for this very moment >decide to be bold it's now or never >"hey wanna have sex?" >ALPHA AS F--- this is my new me >she puts phone down and smirks "uhm haha what? I mean yea sure why not" >stare at her for 5 seconds >bros you can't imagine how long 5 seconds can be >autism spike >look at her and say "yea well I didn't expect that answer" >silence >she looks at me for a few seconds clearly expecting me to make a move >she eventually rolls over with her back to me and gets back on her phone >don't talk or even mention it next morning Hold me, /fit/. Please hold me and tell me everything is going to be alright

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Anon is murican | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 09/09/18(Sun)21:47:43 No.779489246 >be me >be white >walking down a weird neighborhood >literally the only white person on the street >get nervous >nothing but n------ in a 10-mile radius >s---.jpg >ape approaches me >literally s------- my pants >ape tries to communicate with me >get so scaredI run down the street crying >look back for a brief second >n---- had girl scout cookies in his hands >mfw he was just trying to sell me cookies >mfw I realize I have a niggerphobia
Anonymous 09/09/18(Sun)21:47:43 No.779489246 >be me >be white >walking down a weird neighborhood >literally the only white person on the street >get nervous >nothing but n------ in a 10-mile radius >s---.jpg >ape approaches me >literally s------- my pants >ape tries to communicate with me >get so scaredI run down the street crying >look back for a brief second >n---- had girl scout cookies in his hands >mfw he was just trying to sell me cookies >mfw I realize I have a niggerphobia

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anon is married | /r/Greentext

>be married for 10 years, have 3 kids >always refer to wifey by nicknames >honey, sexy, sweetie, etc. >fast forward new years 2020 >me and wifey get invited to a big party >get her parents to take care of the kids >show up to party, this is the first time we have had a proper "date" in 10 years 60 9 KB JPG >about to introduce myself and wifey to some couple >"hi l'm anon and this is my wife uhhh" >realize I've forgotten her name, panic and freeze >turn to wifey, "honey, why don't you introduce yourself?" >think to myself this is it, I'm f----- >I luck out, she thinks nothing of it and introduces herself >"hi I'm Mildred" >f------ Mildred.
>be married for 10 years, have 3 kids >always refer to wifey by nicknames >honey, sexy, sweetie, etc. >fast forward new years 2020 >me and wifey get invited to a big party >get her parents to take care of the kids >show up to party, this is the first time we have had a proper "date" in 10 years 60 9 KB JPG >about to introduce myself and wifey to some couple >"hi l'm anon and this is my wife uhhh" >realize I've forgotten her name, panic and freeze >turn to wifey, "honey, why don't you introduce yourself?" >think to myself this is it, I'm f----- >I luck out, she thinks nothing of it and introduces herself >"hi I'm Mildred" >f------ Mildred.

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Anon had a tough upbringing | /r/Greentext


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Message in a cum bottle | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/10/21(Sun)03:24:13 No.65704771 >be me >finally turned 30 two weeks ago and still kissless, hugless, handholdess virgin >decide to put a stop to this >gather the guts to finally confess to my old high school crush >we haven't spoken since then but I hope she 55 KB PNG remembers me >send her my confession through insta since she never accepted my fb friend request >its been two f------ weeks and she hasnt even seen it Anons how the f--- can i make sure instagram isnt acting gay and filtering my messages?
: Anonymous 10/10/21(Sun)03:24:13 No.65704771 >be me >finally turned 30 two weeks ago and still kissless, hugless, handholdess virgin >decide to put a stop to this >gather the guts to finally confess to my old high school crush >we haven't spoken since then but I hope she 55 KB PNG remembers me >send her my confession through insta since she never accepted my fb friend request >its been two f------ weeks and she hasnt even seen it Anons how the f--- can i make sure instagram isnt acting gay and filtering my messages?

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Anon has a bad day | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Had a bad day today 07/21/21(Wed)17:59:35 No.64662148 >wake up at 3PM (earliest in years) >mommy is at her job at a construction site >look at my Toy Story nightstand expecting there to be a hot plate of tendies >there isnt 45 KB JPG >THAT >F------ >W---- >use my tard adrenaline to roll out of bed >roll to the cabinet and grab grammys ashes >dump them into one of my full semen jugs >chug all of it >send the video of me doing it to bitch mommy >thatll teach that bitch >turn on news 2 hours later after blowing grammys dusty shitflakes out of my ass >something about a woman committing suicide by jumping off a construction crane where mommy works >women will do anything to get attention. Mommy should be home any minute to apologize for forgetting my morning tendies.
: Anonymous Had a bad day today 07/21/21(Wed)17:59:35 No.64662148 >wake up at 3PM (earliest in years) >mommy is at her job at a construction site >look at my Toy Story nightstand expecting there to be a hot plate of tendies >there isnt 45 KB JPG >THAT >F------ >W---- >use my tard adrenaline to roll out of bed >roll to the cabinet and grab grammys ashes >dump them into one of my full semen jugs >chug all of it >send the video of me doing it to bitch mommy >thatll teach that bitch >turn on news 2 hours later after blowing grammys dusty shitflakes out of my ass >something about a woman committing suicide by jumping off a construction crane where mommy works >women will do anything to get attention. Mommy should be home any minute to apologize for forgetting my morning tendies.

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Anon finds a loophole | /r/Greentext

>trump gets impeached >trump resigns >pence becomes president >pence pardons trump >pence appoints new vice-president, donald trump >pence resigns >trump becomes president >trump appoints new vice-president, mike pence pence
>trump gets impeached >trump resigns >pence becomes president >pence pardons trump >pence appoints new vice-president, donald trump >pence resigns >trump becomes president >trump appoints new vice-president, mike pence pence

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Slip 'N Slide | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/10/21(Sun)01:36:52 No.864736552 >be me >married >don't get as much sex as l'd like >only private area to masturbate is in the bathroom 9 KB JPG >prefer to c-- into the tub so I can just spray all over >usually just leave it in the tub because I know I'll shower the next morning anyway >one night, wife decides to shower about 10 minutes after I unloaded >hear slip followed by scrambling, then weird mumbling >go in to check on wife >she slipped and literally cracked her head open >I can see part of her brain, not even joking >she's making noises but not saying any real words >call a amberlamps and get her to the hospital Later >wife is back home but paralyzed on one side of her body >is relearning to talk and has all kinds of anger problems >s---- her pants and has seizures now >mfw my wife slipped on my tub c--
: Anonymous 10/10/21(Sun)01:36:52 No.864736552 >be me >married >don't get as much sex as l'd like >only private area to masturbate is in the bathroom 9 KB JPG >prefer to c-- into the tub so I can just spray all over >usually just leave it in the tub because I know I'll shower the next morning anyway >one night, wife decides to shower about 10 minutes after I unloaded >hear slip followed by scrambling, then weird mumbling >go in to check on wife >she slipped and literally cracked her head open >I can see part of her brain, not even joking >she's making noises but not saying any real words >call a amberlamps and get her to the hospital Later >wife is back home but paralyzed on one side of her body >is relearning to talk and has all kinds of anger problems >s---- her pants and has seizures now >mfw my wife slipped on my tub c--

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Anon is not having a good time | /r/Greentext


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Anon hates dolphins | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/06/21(Wed)09:43:30 No.3945508 Dolphans.jpg 95 KB JPG Dolphins are the worst animals >Constant r--- >Assholes >Degenerates of the sea world >Abuse sharks >Save people to spite sharks, not because they have any kindness in their hearts Meanwhile shark >Unless it's a swimming dumpster like tiger sharks, great white shark for example hate the taste of human >Can pet Lemon sharks, and they like it. At least with a shark it kills because it's hungry and wants to live, I can respect that, dolphins kill because it gives them pleasure and sexually half the time. >>3945518 # >>3945557 #
: Anonymous 10/06/21(Wed)09:43:30 No.3945508 Dolphans.jpg 95 KB JPG Dolphins are the worst animals >Constant r--- >Assholes >Degenerates of the sea world >Abuse sharks >Save people to spite sharks, not because they have any kindness in their hearts Meanwhile shark >Unless it's a swimming dumpster like tiger sharks, great white shark for example hate the taste of human >Can pet Lemon sharks, and they like it. At least with a shark it kills because it's hungry and wants to live, I can respect that, dolphins kill because it gives them pleasure and sexually half the time. >>3945518 # >>3945557 #

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Average Instagram stacy | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous W-- is this crap 03/03/21(Wed)18:05:17 No.62589250 W-- just happened. >be me >indian male in uni IG > walk past a group of 3 hot blonde ON girls >i hear one of them say "ew curry you 9 KB JPG stink" > all three of them start laughing >recognize one of them in my lit class >find her ig it says "BLM! / LGBQT+ activist / etc" Why are women like this. 23 Replies / 4 Images View Thread
: Anonymous W-- is this crap 03/03/21(Wed)18:05:17 No.62589250 W-- just happened. >be me >indian male in uni IG > walk past a group of 3 hot blonde ON girls >i hear one of them say "ew curry you 9 KB JPG stink" > all three of them start laughing >recognize one of them in my lit class >find her ig it says "BLM! / LGBQT+ activist / etc" Why are women like this. 23 Replies / 4 Images View Thread

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