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Anon wants to be a father | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 285 KB PNG 05/21/23(Sun)21:14:10 No.73407115 >be me >20 >older sister asks me to watch her kid so she and her husband can have a date night >very annoyed but agree >a couple days later >hang out with 4 year old niece >take her to the park >nobody there >push her on the swing >play tag on the playground with her >play hide and seek >watch out for her as she balances across the low stone walls that hold mulch on the playground >play many more games together >some kids show up and play with her >I get a break and talk with their moms >They tell my that I'm such a good dad for playing with my daughter >don't have the heart to tell them she's actually my niece >2.5 hours later >niece tires out >carry her home >make ravioli and grilled asparagus for dinner dailymemesv/239 >after dinner >we watch sea life documentaries together on the couch. >she falls asleep in my lap I really want kids now bros. I haven't had this much fun in ages. I need to find a fembot to marry so I can have a family. Kids are just so precious.
: Anonymous 285 KB PNG 05/21/23(Sun)21:14:10 No.73407115 >be me >20 >older sister asks me to watch her kid so she and her husband can have a date night >very annoyed but agree >a couple days later >hang out with 4 year old niece >take her to the park >nobody there >push her on the swing >play tag on the playground with her >play hide and seek >watch out for her as she balances across the low stone walls that hold mulch on the playground >play many more games together >some kids show up and play with her >I get a break and talk with their moms >They tell my that I'm such a good dad for playing with my daughter >don't have the heart to tell them she's actually my niece >2.5 hours later >niece tires out >carry her home >make ravioli and grilled asparagus for dinner dailymemesv/239 >after dinner >we watch sea life documentaries together on the couch. >she falls asleep in my lap I really want kids now bros. I haven't had this much fun in ages. I need to find a fembot to marry so I can have a family. Kids are just so precious.

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No funny title for this one | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 18 KB JPG 08/11/23(Fri)00:51:15 No.74344090 >mom found the note and supplies and won't stop crying
Anonymous 18 KB JPG 08/11/23(Fri)00:51:15 No.74344090 >mom found the note and supplies and won't stop crying

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Anon and prostitutes | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 08/11/23(Fri)08:36:55 No.904125390 124235367.jpg 58 KB JPG >see advert for Escort >22 year old women, 9/10, $200 for an hour >show up >it's a f------ 40ish mexican ruined with plastic surgery, 2/10 >walk out w-- bros. View Thread
Anonymous 08/11/23(Fri)08:36:55 No.904125390 124235367.jpg 58 KB JPG >see advert for Escort >22 year old women, 9/10, $200 for an hour >show up >it's a f------ 40ish mexican ruined with plastic surgery, 2/10 >walk out w-- bros. View Thread

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Anon gets payback | /r/Greentext

52 KB JPG >be me last year >wife was a s------ >Hold onto the relationship because I thought she'd eventually be how she used to be when we first met >She never turned back, ended up divorcing >She struggled to afford anything because of drugs >She asks me for financial help >I had gambled my last $15 of disposable for the weekend, ended up winning like $300 at the casino though >Send her $10 through cash app, say "I won this while gambling, it was the 2nd luckiest I've been this week right behind losing you" >Blocked on everything, haven't heard from her since
52 KB JPG >be me last year >wife was a s------ >Hold onto the relationship because I thought she'd eventually be how she used to be when we first met >She never turned back, ended up divorcing >She struggled to afford anything because of drugs >She asks me for financial help >I had gambled my last $15 of disposable for the weekend, ended up winning like $300 at the casino though >Send her $10 through cash app, say "I won this while gambling, it was the 2nd luckiest I've been this week right behind losing you" >Blocked on everything, haven't heard from her since

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Anon is black pilled | /r/Greentext

#53, No. 95177717 2 hours ago >work hard >keep learning new things on my free time because I enjoy programming >my code gets noticeably better over time >people that have been working here for longer than me get the same raise when they have shown zero improvement in years That was it for me. Now I do the bare minimum and slack off as much as I can while learning technologies we don't even use on company time.
#53, No. 95177717 2 hours ago >work hard >keep learning new things on my free time because I enjoy programming >my code gets noticeably better over time >people that have been working here for longer than me get the same raise when they have shown zero improvement in years That was it for me. Now I do the bare minimum and slack off as much as I can while learning technologies we don't even use on company time.

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Anon wonders about revolt | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: Af09HAMR 08/04/22(Thu)17:39:31 No.389737231 >>389736210 (OP) # >can't afford a car >can't afford a home >can't afford to have children >soon, won't be able to afford meat What's stopping young people from burning everything to the ground in anger? >>389737326 # >>389737934 # >>389738179 # >>389738346 # >>389738390 # >>389738938 # : Anonymous (ID: DjwBYtUZ >>389737368 # 08/04/22(Thu)17:40:15 No.389737326 >>389737231 # >can't afford matches
: Anonymous (ID: Af09HAMR 08/04/22(Thu)17:39:31 No.389737231 >>389736210 (OP) # >can't afford a car >can't afford a home >can't afford to have children >soon, won't be able to afford meat What's stopping young people from burning everything to the ground in anger? >>389737326 # >>389737934 # >>389738179 # >>389738346 # >>389738390 # >>389738938 # : Anonymous (ID: DjwBYtUZ >>389737368 # 08/04/22(Thu)17:40:15 No.389737326 >>389737231 # >can't afford matches

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Anon having a good time with their grandpa. | /r/Greentext

101 KB JPG >>457534108 (OP) # >Play Xenoblade Chronicles 2 >Play with Pyra as my main blade >My mom sees it >"Why does she look like that? Christ that's a bit sexist" >Grandpa comes in and says "Let him be a man, there's nothing wrong with it" >Mom decides to forget it >Grandpa asks me to do lewd moves to see her ass I love my grandpa, sometimes I wish I could transform into Pyra and let him f--- me
101 KB JPG >>457534108 (OP) # >Play Xenoblade Chronicles 2 >Play with Pyra as my main blade >My mom sees it >"Why does she look like that? Christ that's a bit sexist" >Grandpa comes in and says "Let him be a man, there's nothing wrong with it" >Mom decides to forget it >Grandpa asks me to do lewd moves to see her ass I love my grandpa, sometimes I wish I could transform into Pyra and let him f--- me

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Anon tried dating | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 290 KB JPG 08/10/23(Thu)22:24:33 No.74342098 >Cold approach a girl >Get told to f--- off for being a creep >fair_enough.jpeg >Meet another qt >Decide to befriend her first >After some time has passed I decide to ask her out >Get rejected but she still wants to be friends >Keep it pushing and doing my own thing >Next time I see her she calls me out for being a manipulative creep and that I should have asked her out from the jump instead of being a p---- Will the suffering ever end?
: Anonymous 290 KB JPG 08/10/23(Thu)22:24:33 No.74342098 >Cold approach a girl >Get told to f--- off for being a creep >fair_enough.jpeg >Meet another qt >Decide to befriend her first >After some time has passed I decide to ask her out >Get rejected but she still wants to be friends >Keep it pushing and doing my own thing >Next time I see her she calls me out for being a manipulative creep and that I should have asked her out from the jump instead of being a p---- Will the suffering ever end?

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it never began for anon | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 90 KB PNG 08/10/23(Thu)17:51:33 No.74339387 >4'6" >1/8 inch penis and no balls It's over
: Anonymous 90 KB PNG 08/10/23(Thu)17:51:33 No.74339387 >4'6" >1/8 inch penis and no balls It's over

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Anon is disgusting | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 318 KB JPG 08/10/23(Thu)15:26:42 No.904098737 >be me, loser anon >play video games all day on couch >lazy so I have a piss jug >also have a dip spit jug next to it >when I run out of dip and don't wanna go out do something gross and drink the dip spit and slosh it around in my mouth piss in the dip jug >accidentally >accidentally take a drink of the piss infected dip jug >instantly throw up all over the floor >dog jumps from the couch and starts licking it up >30 minutes later dog starts throwing up all over the house while I'm in the bathroom There's literally stains everywhere, on my bed, in every hallway, on every carpet. The smell is worse than s--- and no matter what I do the stink won't get out. How do I get the stink out.
Anonymous 318 KB JPG 08/10/23(Thu)15:26:42 No.904098737 >be me, loser anon >play video games all day on couch >lazy so I have a piss jug >also have a dip spit jug next to it >when I run out of dip and don't wanna go out do something gross and drink the dip spit and slosh it around in my mouth piss in the dip jug >accidentally >accidentally take a drink of the piss infected dip jug >instantly throw up all over the floor >dog jumps from the couch and starts licking it up >30 minutes later dog starts throwing up all over the house while I'm in the bathroom There's literally stains everywhere, on my bed, in every hallway, on every carpet. The smell is worse than s--- and no matter what I do the stink won't get out. How do I get the stink out.

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Anon joins the Army | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/10/23(Thu)16:56:02 No.74338841 871 file.png 175 KB PNG >fat, lonely, jobless, depressed >Dad tells me to join the Army to turn my life around >Say f--- it and join >Now in shape, have some friends, have a job >Still depressed Huh, so what is it?
: Anonymous 08/10/23(Thu)16:56:02 No.74338841 871 file.png 175 KB PNG >fat, lonely, jobless, depressed >Dad tells me to join the Army to turn my life around >Say f--- it and join >Now in shape, have some friends, have a job >Still depressed Huh, so what is it?

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Anons dont belive in science | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 78 KB JPG 08/10/23(Thu)20:05:26 No.74336411 >"so you see anon, this rocky thing is called "Uranium" >"when you shoot it with some small particles called "electrons" and "neutrons" it will release a gorillion of energy" >"2lbs of this pure rock can generate the same amount of energy as 40,000lbs of coal" >"this thing can only be found in the middle of nowhere in Africa, somehow they have plenty of it" >"uh no anon you can't legally mine or own them because government... I mean it will make you sick" >"anyway this is the future of energy just trust me" and you guys expect me to believe this is definitely not some kinds of magic stones? 08/10/23(Thu)20:08:43 No.74336459 : Anonymous >add another invisible particle to the atom >Its suddenly a whole other element Ridiculous people actually believe in this s---. Hurr durr if I add a proton to lead it can turn into titanium. F--- off alchemist
: Anonymous 78 KB JPG 08/10/23(Thu)20:05:26 No.74336411 >"so you see anon, this rocky thing is called "Uranium" >"when you shoot it with some small particles called "electrons" and "neutrons" it will release a gorillion of energy" >"2lbs of this pure rock can generate the same amount of energy as 40,000lbs of coal" >"this thing can only be found in the middle of nowhere in Africa, somehow they have plenty of it" >"uh no anon you can't legally mine or own them because government... I mean it will make you sick" >"anyway this is the future of energy just trust me" and you guys expect me to believe this is definitely not some kinds of magic stones? 08/10/23(Thu)20:08:43 No.74336459 : Anonymous >add another invisible particle to the atom >Its suddenly a whole other element Ridiculous people actually believe in this s---. Hurr durr if I add a proton to lead it can turn into titanium. F--- off alchemist

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Femanon gets rejected | /r/Greentext

>be me >24yo femanon >snort heroin >wake up in hospital >meet male nurse >he's super cute >possiblebf.jpeg >suck him off in the bathroom 334 KB PNG >ask him on a date >"no offence anon but I'm not going to date a junkie who sucks off men in bathrooms" >mfw
>be me >24yo femanon >snort heroin >wake up in hospital >meet male nurse >he's super cute >possiblebf.jpeg >suck him off in the bathroom 334 KB PNG >ask him on a date >"no offence anon but I'm not going to date a junkie who sucks off men in bathrooms" >mfw

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Anon likes eminem | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 6 KB JPG 08/10/23(Thu)07:30:41 No 904076495 >rhymes armed robbery with ahmaud arbery what did he mean by this?
Anonymous 6 KB JPG 08/10/23(Thu)07:30:41 No 904076495 >rhymes armed robbery with ahmaud arbery what did he mean by this?

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Anon gets sorted | /r/Greentext

sortinghat.jpg 96 KB JPG >Hmm, Anon. Let's see. Loser. No friends. No discernible talents. Socially awkward. Never had a girlfriend. >Hufflepuff!
sortinghat.jpg 96 KB JPG >Hmm, Anon. Let's see. Loser. No friends. No discernible talents. Socially awkward. Never had a girlfriend. >Hufflepuff!

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Won't somebody please think of the children! | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: oqCVv250 File: 1691511081746569.jpg (56 KB, 750x746) 08/10/23(Thu)21:06:40 No.437458795 lei.ying.lo This is Ahmad Chang. His parents are Chinese and Arab. He has to eat hummus with chopsticks. Say no to culture mixing. #StopThisMassacre
Anonymous (ID: oqCVv250 File: 1691511081746569.jpg (56 KB, 750x746) 08/10/23(Thu)21:06:40 No.437458795 lei.ying.lo This is Ahmad Chang. His parents are Chinese and Arab. He has to eat hummus with chopsticks. Say no to culture mixing. #StopThisMassacre

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Anon questions people’s soft drink choice | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 08/10/23(Thu)17:28:49 No.904088088 143 KB JPG >Be me >Bartender >Been doing it for a while >Start to notice patterns >Obviously, I think everyone knows that by and large, white guys like beer, white women like wine and black people as a collective like spirit and mixer >Odd as to why, but I'm not one to judge >Something new I've noticed is when ordering a soft drink, white people like Coke while black people like Sprite or Fanta >Whats strange is that Coke is black people coloured, while Sprite is white people coloured (sort of, its clear which is basically white). Its almost like people drink whats opposite to them >Whats stranger is the only person with orange skin (Fanta) is, of course, Trump. Who the black community hate. >It seems to me, that human nature is to drink what isn't us. Was illustrating this to my colleagues the other day, but they just looked at me like I was a racist autist
Anonymous 08/10/23(Thu)17:28:49 No.904088088 143 KB JPG >Be me >Bartender >Been doing it for a while >Start to notice patterns >Obviously, I think everyone knows that by and large, white guys like beer, white women like wine and black people as a collective like spirit and mixer >Odd as to why, but I'm not one to judge >Something new I've noticed is when ordering a soft drink, white people like Coke while black people like Sprite or Fanta >Whats strange is that Coke is black people coloured, while Sprite is white people coloured (sort of, its clear which is basically white). Its almost like people drink whats opposite to them >Whats stranger is the only person with orange skin (Fanta) is, of course, Trump. Who the black community hate. >It seems to me, that human nature is to drink what isn't us. Was illustrating this to my colleagues the other day, but they just looked at me like I was a racist autist

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Anon vs abortion | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 265 KB JPG 08/10/23(Thu)14:45:54 No.904076855 I accidentally got my girlfriend pregnant. And yeah we both f------ love creampies, she loves getting them I love giving them. But now she's getting an abortion and I feel f----- up about it. On the one hand, one part of me feels bad that she got pregnant at all and has to go through the abortion procedure. On the other hand, I feel strange thinking a potential child of mine is going to be erased. And lastly, I feel kind of... proud? My shots landed, clearly my sperm is actually potent. Anyone else know that feel or been through this s--- before? I don't even know what to think.
Anonymous 265 KB JPG 08/10/23(Thu)14:45:54 No.904076855 I accidentally got my girlfriend pregnant. And yeah we both f------ love creampies, she loves getting them I love giving them. But now she's getting an abortion and I feel f----- up about it. On the one hand, one part of me feels bad that she got pregnant at all and has to go through the abortion procedure. On the other hand, I feel strange thinking a potential child of mine is going to be erased. And lastly, I feel kind of... proud? My shots landed, clearly my sperm is actually potent. Anyone else know that feel or been through this s--- before? I don't even know what to think.

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Anon is a 90’s kid | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 08/10/23(Thu)00:21:03 No.32320295 >>32320146 (OP) # >have a petplay kink but unfortunately I am a 90s kid with autism so I want to be a pokemon instead of a dog >not even like a furry anthro one that can talk or anything just a regular one >want a trainer to wrestle with me and encourage me to get fit so I can beat all the other pets at the kink club 25 KB JPG >get sassier as I get stronger so trainer will have to work me even harder >grow strong and bonded together through training to be the best that ever was Sadly none of this is a meme and I am being completely genuine. Even I know this is the most cringe thing anyone has written in this site's illustrious history. >>32320304 # >>32320491 # >>32322913 #
Anonymous 08/10/23(Thu)00:21:03 No.32320295 >>32320146 (OP) # >have a petplay kink but unfortunately I am a 90s kid with autism so I want to be a pokemon instead of a dog >not even like a furry anthro one that can talk or anything just a regular one >want a trainer to wrestle with me and encourage me to get fit so I can beat all the other pets at the kink club 25 KB JPG >get sassier as I get stronger so trainer will have to work me even harder >grow strong and bonded together through training to be the best that ever was Sadly none of this is a meme and I am being completely genuine. Even I know this is the most cringe thing anyone has written in this site's illustrious history. >>32320304 # >>32320491 # >>32322913 #

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Average /v/irgin | /r/Greentext

I don't have any willingness □ Anonymous 08/04/23 (Fri) 18:10:53 No.646311537 [Reply] >>646318037 >wake up >want to play video games >do nothing all day >don't play video games
I don't have any willingness □ Anonymous 08/04/23 (Fri) 18:10:53 No.646311537 [Reply] >>646318037 >wake up >want to play video games >do nothing all day >don't play video games

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