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Anon is a theologist. | /r/Greentext

[=] ► How Islam was created Chud 1 day ago Nº108208 [Reply] >be shitskin in the middle of nowhere village in the literal a------ of earth (Arabia) >go on your daily sex session with your sexy sexy goat >you bring your goat to some cave and by the time you start f------ it, the goat pisses xherself >since you are a braindead brown subhuman, you are consumed by a subhuman rage, and decide to teach that insolent goat how a woman must behave in a traditional muslim society >as you try to hit the goat as a punishment, you accidentally slip and hit your head on the cave's rocky floor >as you are unconscious, a camel tells you that if you die for Pisslam, you will get 1488 virgin goats in Jannah (goats, muslim women, they are all the same and also smell the same) >you go back to ypur village and tell all the happeningd to your cohort of shitskins >since they are even more braindead and dysgenic than you, they believe in everything >they start worshipping you as the "Messenger of the Camel" >after you die, billions of shitskins kill themselves in name of your sand tale
[=] ► How Islam was created Chud 1 day ago Nº108208 [Reply] >be shitskin in the middle of nowhere village in the literal a------ of earth (Arabia) >go on your daily sex session with your sexy sexy goat >you bring your goat to some cave and by the time you start f------ it, the goat pisses xherself >since you are a braindead brown subhuman, you are consumed by a subhuman rage, and decide to teach that insolent goat how a woman must behave in a traditional muslim society >as you try to hit the goat as a punishment, you accidentally slip and hit your head on the cave's rocky floor >as you are unconscious, a camel tells you that if you die for Pisslam, you will get 1488 virgin goats in Jannah (goats, muslim women, they are all the same and also smell the same) >you go back to ypur village and tell all the happeningd to your cohort of shitskins >since they are even more braindead and dysgenic than you, they believe in everything >they start worshipping you as the "Messenger of the Camel" >after you die, billions of shitskins kill themselves in name of your sand tale

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Such a delinquent... | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 76 KB JPG 06/26/19(Wed)21:27:30 No.80323987 >what did I do to become so bad? OMG >Be me, Teenage girl >love Billie Eilish because she represents me so well >I'm such a bad girl, I'm probably wanted all over the world >I did a horrendous crime, the cops are probably hunting me down right now I STOLE A SINGULAR OREO FROM A GAS STATION W-- IM A BAAADDD GUUUYYYY
Anonymous 76 KB JPG 06/26/19(Wed)21:27:30 No.80323987 >what did I do to become so bad? OMG >Be me, Teenage girl >love Billie Eilish because she represents me so well >I'm such a bad girl, I'm probably wanted all over the world >I did a horrendous crime, the cops are probably hunting me down right now I STOLE A SINGULAR OREO FROM A GAS STATION W-- IM A BAAADDD GUUUYYYY

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How over is this | /r/Greentext


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Anon gets a gf | /r/Greentext


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Meanwhile in a parallel universe | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous STARDEW VALLEY 145 KB JPG 01/10/24(Wed)09:17:04 No.663312395 >never played this game multiplayer >start doing it one day >"hey anon you should use the voice chat its chill and we can talk about stuff" >sure why not >the moment I start talking to other players hell breaks loose >"oh my gawd guys is that... a gamer boy?!" >"omg no way I didn't know guys play this game thats so cool" >headphones fill with the noise of girly giggles and squeals as well as some breathing >"now dont worry Anon we're actually all really welcoming here... we all want you to have a good time!" >"omg its so cool to meet a gamer boy though... like, for real!" >"oh my gawd guys think he has a girlfriend?!" >"becky your mic is on" >high pitched squeals and laughing >at this point want to disappear but keep playing >"hey anon why won't you come over here and plow... the field, hmmm?" >"hey anon what if we got married, like in game hahaha" >*wet noises and weird breathing* "A-anon... so fertile... h-haaaa" >have to leave because it gets too weird Why are girl gamers like this? I just wanted to farm some potatos.
: Anonymous STARDEW VALLEY 145 KB JPG 01/10/24(Wed)09:17:04 No.663312395 >never played this game multiplayer >start doing it one day >"hey anon you should use the voice chat its chill and we can talk about stuff" >sure why not >the moment I start talking to other players hell breaks loose >"oh my gawd guys is that... a gamer boy?!" >"omg no way I didn't know guys play this game thats so cool" >headphones fill with the noise of girly giggles and squeals as well as some breathing >"now dont worry Anon we're actually all really welcoming here... we all want you to have a good time!" >"omg its so cool to meet a gamer boy though... like, for real!" >"oh my gawd guys think he has a girlfriend?!" >"becky your mic is on" >high pitched squeals and laughing >at this point want to disappear but keep playing >"hey anon why won't you come over here and plow... the field, hmmm?" >"hey anon what if we got married, like in game hahaha" >*wet noises and weird breathing* "A-anon... so fertile... h-haaaa" >have to leave because it gets too weird Why are girl gamers like this? I just wanted to farm some potatos.

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Anon gets in trouble | /r/Greentext


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Anon Pees, Later Virgins | /r/Greentext

10:05 ← /r9k/76060526/ 3h (1/9 18:51) 76060526 6 Re - 2 Img PNG 57KB (436 × 425) 1427246798532.png 2 Replies >peed enough in my life that some of it has inevitably been ingested by women after it went through the sewage treatment process and the water cycle Later virgins 3h (1/9 18:54) · 76060551 >>76060526 (OP) this but with c-- check mate retard 2h (1/9 19:52) 76060915 GIF 628KB (800 × 800) 1444729203185.gif 1 Reply 5G .ll 60% . : : >donate blood >some of it has gone into Stacy >some of it went into Chad then made its way into his boner while he was f------ Stacy I can't believe how long I was like the rest of you virgin losers
10:05 ← /r9k/76060526/ 3h (1/9 18:51) 76060526 6 Re - 2 Img PNG 57KB (436 × 425) 1427246798532.png 2 Replies >peed enough in my life that some of it has inevitably been ingested by women after it went through the sewage treatment process and the water cycle Later virgins 3h (1/9 18:54) · 76060551 >>76060526 (OP) this but with c-- check mate retard 2h (1/9 19:52) 76060915 GIF 628KB (800 × 800) 1444729203185.gif 1 Reply 5G .ll 60% . : : >donate blood >some of it has gone into Stacy >some of it went into Chad then made its way into his boner while he was f------ Stacy I can't believe how long I was like the rest of you virgin losers

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Love to read it in his voice rip | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 01/04/24(Thu)00:31:05 No.194308078 dumbledore2.jpg 12 KB JPG HARRY POTTER DID YOU FORGE MY NAME IN THE EPSTEIN FLIGHT LOG???
Anonymous 01/04/24(Thu)00:31:05 No.194308078 dumbledore2.jpg 12 KB JPG HARRY POTTER DID YOU FORGE MY NAME IN THE EPSTEIN FLIGHT LOG???

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The Imperfection | /r/Greentext

Tinder when you're not photogenic An Tinder when you're not photoge(...) Mayo 19 tinder ak of photos day doing sched 96 KB JPG No.19361716 >Wanting to add more p---- juice into my regular healthy diet >Using tinder but getting unacceptable amount of matches >Pictures apparently seems to be s-----, aayy Imao tier >Even professional pictures doesn't work 01/09/24(Tue)13:23:03 >Good looking IRL and hooked up with fine girls before Why the f--- is it like this? Everytime someone take photos I turn stiff and appear unnatural. Friends doesn't run around with cameras either. Do I need to hire a dog or something? I want to know what makes women swipe right. Please no incel b------- like you must be a rich 10/10 chad to score
Tinder when you're not photogenic An Tinder when you're not photoge(...) Mayo 19 tinder ak of photos day doing sched 96 KB JPG No.19361716 >Wanting to add more p---- juice into my regular healthy diet >Using tinder but getting unacceptable amount of matches >Pictures apparently seems to be s-----, aayy Imao tier >Even professional pictures doesn't work 01/09/24(Tue)13:23:03 >Good looking IRL and hooked up with fine girls before Why the f--- is it like this? Everytime someone take photos I turn stiff and appear unnatural. Friends doesn't run around with cameras either. Do I need to hire a dog or something? I want to know what makes women swipe right. Please no incel b------- like you must be a rich 10/10 chad to score

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The eceleb purge | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous N 01/09/24(Tue)20:45:13 No.912136547 hero-image.fill.size_1248x702.v1704840449.jpg 80 KB JPG >epstein list releases >ecelebs start leaving the platform MATAN
: Anonymous N 01/09/24(Tue)20:45:13 No.912136547 hero-image.fill.size_1248x702.v1704840449.jpg 80 KB JPG >epstein list releases >ecelebs start leaving the platform MATAN

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Oh I see the problem | /r/Greentext

drakenjosh.jpg 174 KB JPG >"Drake?" >"What?" >"Where is the body of Christ?" (P)
drakenjosh.jpg 174 KB JPG >"Drake?" >"What?" >"Where is the body of Christ?" (P)

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In Hindsight, Wisdom | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 7 KB JPG 01/09/24(Tue)23:21:45 No.76061112 >Finally match with a girl >She messages first Okay somethings not right >Have a decent conversation HHmm this doesn't usually happen >Ask her on a date >"I'm not comfortable meeting like that" Yep there it is >I reply "understandable", she asks what I'm looking for >"Relationship, what about you?" She doesn't respond, an hour passes. I think "f--- it, I'll just delete her no point wasting time this always happens, no big deal" >Before i delete her decide to send a message, i've never done this before >"Nice meeting you, best of luck" >She IMMEDIATLY responds "Im at work" >Still delete her anyway. Feel better about the whole situation.
Anonymous 7 KB JPG 01/09/24(Tue)23:21:45 No.76061112 >Finally match with a girl >She messages first Okay somethings not right >Have a decent conversation HHmm this doesn't usually happen >Ask her on a date >"I'm not comfortable meeting like that" Yep there it is >I reply "understandable", she asks what I'm looking for >"Relationship, what about you?" She doesn't respond, an hour passes. I think "f--- it, I'll just delete her no point wasting time this always happens, no big deal" >Before i delete her decide to send a message, i've never done this before >"Nice meeting you, best of luck" >She IMMEDIATLY responds "Im at work" >Still delete her anyway. Feel better about the whole situation.

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In the Spotlight | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 889 KB PNG 01/09/24(Tue)21:48:56 i think i kinda blew my cover in front of normies >2nd week in school >still getting to know each others >group of people i'm in talking about airsoft No.76060504 >enthusiastically say at one point 'hell yeah i'm actually a weapons enthusiast' >heavy silence >'but anon, how can you like weapons, weapons kill people' >another 10 seconds of heavy silence >someone finally ends up changing the subject now they actually think i'm some kind of school shooter i actually thought i'd be able to fit in with normies but 2 seconds of me sperging out was enough to ruin everything f--- this gay society
Anonymous 889 KB PNG 01/09/24(Tue)21:48:56 i think i kinda blew my cover in front of normies >2nd week in school >still getting to know each others >group of people i'm in talking about airsoft No.76060504 >enthusiastically say at one point 'hell yeah i'm actually a weapons enthusiast' >heavy silence >'but anon, how can you like weapons, weapons kill people' >another 10 seconds of heavy silence >someone finally ends up changing the subject now they actually think i'm some kind of school shooter i actually thought i'd be able to fit in with normies but 2 seconds of me sperging out was enough to ruin everything f--- this gay society

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Love's Concern | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 01/09/24(Tue)16:29:40 No.912125753 1.52 MB PNG >Be me >dating grill >things are great but she keeps feeling "sick" and calling out of work >says her health is more important than her job >Sure, I agree with that, but there's a limit and it's weird that she's only sick for like a day and then seems to bounce back just fine >I'm concerned she's damaging her reputation at work and could get fired >also she's not making money when she's not working and I want her to be financially independent What do? She gets mildly defensive whenever I bringthis up, so at this point I'm just letting it happen and hoping she doesn't get fired (but waiting for it).
Anonymous 01/09/24(Tue)16:29:40 No.912125753 1.52 MB PNG >Be me >dating grill >things are great but she keeps feeling "sick" and calling out of work >says her health is more important than her job >Sure, I agree with that, but there's a limit and it's weird that she's only sick for like a day and then seems to bounce back just fine >I'm concerned she's damaging her reputation at work and could get fired >also she's not making money when she's not working and I want her to be financially independent What do? She gets mildly defensive whenever I bringthis up, so at this point I'm just letting it happen and hoping she doesn't get fired (but waiting for it).

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Anons meet at the movie theatre | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10 KB JPG 01/09/24(Tue) 20:37:36 No.194639664 >be me >running late to the kinoplex >walk into the kinotorium just as they're dimming the lights >shout "hey, who turned out the lights? I'm walkin here!" >whole theater bursts out in laughter >projectionist flickers the lights in acknowledgement >get high fives and fist bumps on the way to my seat >hear black girl say "he cute" >sit down and the girl next to me playfully shoves my shoulder what are your best theater experiences? : Anonymous >arrive early to the kinoteque, prepared >got everything ready, one or each item, a backpack with cleenex, air freshener, candy from home, asthma inhaler, juice, toilet paper, 3d glasses and blue light filter glasses, extra pair of undies, tickets preordered and printed, flashlight and manual for enjoying the kino >show the kinoguard my slip from mommy that I have a medical condition and need to bring my backpack everywhere 01/09/24(Tue)20:47:58 No.194639912 >spend the usually 20 minutes waiting for clearance >get escorted to the correct room where I wait with the guard for the previous movie to finish >as soon as the room is empty I pick out my seat and clean it, then call my mommy and let her know it went fine and the guard can go >as room starts filling up get constant stares of disgust because of my backpack and fidgeting >just as the light dims this clown comes in >"Ey im walking here" >everybody loves him for being a f------ clown while I did all my work and was the most orderly and safe viewer >start seething so bad I cant enjoy the movie
: Anonymous 10 KB JPG 01/09/24(Tue) 20:37:36 No.194639664 >be me >running late to the kinoplex >walk into the kinotorium just as they're dimming the lights >shout "hey, who turned out the lights? I'm walkin here!" >whole theater bursts out in laughter >projectionist flickers the lights in acknowledgement >get high fives and fist bumps on the way to my seat >hear black girl say "he cute" >sit down and the girl next to me playfully shoves my shoulder what are your best theater experiences? : Anonymous >arrive early to the kinoteque, prepared >got everything ready, one or each item, a backpack with cleenex, air freshener, candy from home, asthma inhaler, juice, toilet paper, 3d glasses and blue light filter glasses, extra pair of undies, tickets preordered and printed, flashlight and manual for enjoying the kino >show the kinoguard my slip from mommy that I have a medical condition and need to bring my backpack everywhere 01/09/24(Tue)20:47:58 No.194639912 >spend the usually 20 minutes waiting for clearance >get escorted to the correct room where I wait with the guard for the previous movie to finish >as soon as the room is empty I pick out my seat and clean it, then call my mommy and let her know it went fine and the guard can go >as room starts filling up get constant stares of disgust because of my backpack and fidgeting >just as the light dims this clown comes in >"Ey im walking here" >everybody loves him for being a f------ clown while I did all my work and was the most orderly and safe viewer >start seething so bad I cant enjoy the movie

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the great cockalypse is upon us | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 62 KB JPG 06/10/22(Fri)08:36:19 No.68986060 >look up average penis size It's over... : Anonymous >>68986060 (OP) # >look at different surveys on d--- size >realize all cocks are shrinking at an alarming rate The end is near 06/10/22 (Fri)08:42:31 No.68986108
: Anonymous 62 KB JPG 06/10/22(Fri)08:36:19 No.68986060 >look up average penis size It's over... : Anonymous >>68986060 (OP) # >look at different surveys on d--- size >realize all cocks are shrinking at an alarming rate The end is near 06/10/22 (Fri)08:42:31 No.68986108

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