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Anon thanks his mom. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/06/18(Fri)22:29:45 No.773601407 >Mom comes home from work stressed out as usual , dad home drunk >Sees me depressed and unmotivated to do anything > takes me and my sister out to eat >let me order anything from the menu , as the good boy I am I order tendies with 46 KB PNG hunny mussy >we leave and go visit my uncle and my newborn cousin >on our ride back home we listen to Southern Nights , a song I love >mfw I realized she did this all for me to cheer up >came home and didn't want to cry and say "i love you" cause l'm a wuss > grow a pair of balls and go say "I love you and thanks for taking me out " sobbing all over her shoulder >still crying while writing this > although you'll never see this > Thank you mom, I love you with all my heart
: Anonymous 07/06/18(Fri)22:29:45 No.773601407 >Mom comes home from work stressed out as usual , dad home drunk >Sees me depressed and unmotivated to do anything > takes me and my sister out to eat >let me order anything from the menu , as the good boy I am I order tendies with 46 KB PNG hunny mussy >we leave and go visit my uncle and my newborn cousin >on our ride back home we listen to Southern Nights , a song I love >mfw I realized she did this all for me to cheer up >came home and didn't want to cry and say "i love you" cause l'm a wuss > grow a pair of balls and go say "I love you and thanks for taking me out " sobbing all over her shoulder >still crying while writing this > although you'll never see this > Thank you mom, I love you with all my heart

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anon trolls | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/23/22(Sat)16:30:38 No.68345381 >you are very sleepy >at the count of three you will be under hypnosis 1 >you are a donut
: Anonymous 04/23/22(Sat)16:30:38 No.68345381 >you are very sleepy >at the count of three you will be under hypnosis 1 >you are a donut

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Anon dodges a bullet | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/05/22(Thu)09:01:23 No.877551571 >Be me Will you be my Erika From Juntin To AetImm >Out on date with GF of 1 month >decided to go watch some stand up comedy >Bored waiting for comedian to get on stage, decide to read some Greentexts >In the middle of reading some retarded story about a guy s------- out a tapeworm Car mne Aato 00 19 KB JPG >GF looks over my shoulder "Watcha reading?" >Panic internally, don't want to seem like some retarded incel >Can't close it or dismiss it or else it would look weird >Play it cool "Oh it's just this site with funny dumb stories" "Oh cool, let me see" >Reluctantly scroll by while letting her watch >By some fluke of luck all posts that show up are perfectly mundane >Nothing grotesque, no slurs, no femboys or p--- >She reads one text about a guy starting to cook and another about IKEA >Chuckles and looks back over to her phone >Comedian gets on stage, forget about it I don't know how I got this lucky anons. The gods of 4chan must have decided to spare my relationship. Pic unrelated
: Anonymous 05/05/22(Thu)09:01:23 No.877551571 >Be me Will you be my Erika From Juntin To AetImm >Out on date with GF of 1 month >decided to go watch some stand up comedy >Bored waiting for comedian to get on stage, decide to read some Greentexts >In the middle of reading some retarded story about a guy s------- out a tapeworm Car mne Aato 00 19 KB JPG >GF looks over my shoulder "Watcha reading?" >Panic internally, don't want to seem like some retarded incel >Can't close it or dismiss it or else it would look weird >Play it cool "Oh it's just this site with funny dumb stories" "Oh cool, let me see" >Reluctantly scroll by while letting her watch >By some fluke of luck all posts that show up are perfectly mundane >Nothing grotesque, no slurs, no femboys or p--- >She reads one text about a guy starting to cook and another about IKEA >Chuckles and looks back over to her phone >Comedian gets on stage, forget about it I don't know how I got this lucky anons. The gods of 4chan must have decided to spare my relationship. Pic unrelated

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Anon shares his wisdom | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/04/22(Wed)16:11:06 No.877519166 >be me >middle class life in America >job sucks >politically, it's all s--- >can't afford the latest stuff >lonely...only get 2 matches a month on tinder 24 KB PNG >family is far from perfect >ldea.exe >kms >go before the lord >tells me I can't go to heaven because I kms >go to hell >no memes, mom's homemade pasta, latest football game, fresh air, smell of rain, taste of warm cookie >just constant mental and physical torture >miss being alive in mom's basement >"mr satan sir, can I go back please?" >"no retard, you stay with me" Only get one shot at life /b/ if your life sucks, keep going for the little things. Don't ever kill yourself, satan's too kinky with his tortures, you don't want it. Stay safe and healthy. Spread love and be kind to others and yourself. I love you.
: Anonymous 05/04/22(Wed)16:11:06 No.877519166 >be me >middle class life in America >job sucks >politically, it's all s--- >can't afford the latest stuff >lonely...only get 2 matches a month on tinder 24 KB PNG >family is far from perfect >ldea.exe >kms >go before the lord >tells me I can't go to heaven because I kms >go to hell >no memes, mom's homemade pasta, latest football game, fresh air, smell of rain, taste of warm cookie >just constant mental and physical torture >miss being alive in mom's basement >"mr satan sir, can I go back please?" >"no retard, you stay with me" Only get one shot at life /b/ if your life sucks, keep going for the little things. Don't ever kill yourself, satan's too kinky with his tortures, you don't want it. Stay safe and healthy. Spread love and be kind to others and yourself. I love you.

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Anon becomes a normie | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/05/22(Thu)08:46:04 No.877550829 >4channer >learn all about normies and chads and whatnot >start LARPing as a good person irl >help others with no incentive, altruism, smile and socialise etc. >find it fun to trick everyone into thinking 85 KB PNG you are kind >start LARPing it 24/7, even in games >eventually stop thinking of it as a LARP/trick >actually a decent person now >"pretending" to be good 24/7 made me a good normie >develop good habits I amaze myself with how I am able to successfully live in the most retarded way possible
: Anonymous 05/05/22(Thu)08:46:04 No.877550829 >4channer >learn all about normies and chads and whatnot >start LARPing as a good person irl >help others with no incentive, altruism, smile and socialise etc. >find it fun to trick everyone into thinking 85 KB PNG you are kind >start LARPing it 24/7, even in games >eventually stop thinking of it as a LARP/trick >actually a decent person now >"pretending" to be good 24/7 made me a good normie >develop good habits I amaze myself with how I am able to successfully live in the most retarded way possible

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Anon's dilemma | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/22/21(Sun)23:50:39 No.86161127 s.jpg 60 KB JPG >"You'll find someone, there's plenty of fish in the sea." >Yeah but I don't know how to fish
: Anonymous 08/22/21(Sun)23:50:39 No.86161127 s.jpg 60 KB JPG >"You'll find someone, there's plenty of fish in the sea." >Yeah but I don't know how to fish

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Anon finds a cool symbol | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/05/19(Thu)18:29:09 No.8109839 >be me 6 >looking trough my dads history books 4CHAN, LBLSOLIR THE AUTISM PAIN TACTICAL /B/TARD ACTION >finding a sick af symbol >damnthatlooksgood.wav >going to school the next day >teacher tells us to draw on the whiteboard 134 KB JPG >going up there proudly to show off my new epic symbol >mfw the teacher calls my parents >mfw ive been drawing swastikas
: Anonymous 09/05/19(Thu)18:29:09 No.8109839 >be me 6 >looking trough my dads history books 4CHAN, LBLSOLIR THE AUTISM PAIN TACTICAL /B/TARD ACTION >finding a sick af symbol >damnthatlooksgood.wav >going to school the next day >teacher tells us to draw on the whiteboard 134 KB JPG >going up there proudly to show off my new epic symbol >mfw the teacher calls my parents >mfw ive been drawing swastikas

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Anons genealogy | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/04/22(Wed)21:55:46 No.877546151 >be me >try out one of those ancestry family tree sites >put in some info, see link to grandparents >find out 6th cousin once 55 KB JPG removed uploaded s--- load of ancestors before them >follow patriarchal line >family apparently immigrated over from Ukraine in 1899 >neat! >earliest recorded ancestor was born in 1691 >cool >his first name is f------ Semen >mfw
: Anonymous 05/04/22(Wed)21:55:46 No.877546151 >be me >try out one of those ancestry family tree sites >put in some info, see link to grandparents >find out 6th cousin once 55 KB JPG removed uploaded s--- load of ancestors before them >follow patriarchal line >family apparently immigrated over from Ukraine in 1899 >neat! >earliest recorded ancestor was born in 1691 >cool >his first name is f------ Semen >mfw

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Anon talks about history | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/17/22(Thu)00:51:29 No.12878558 Chinese history be like >Chao ling takes power >247 million perish European history be like >Count Baron Kaiser Werner 382 KB JPG Pfeldlinger Fingerlickner von Hoeltschweinergmachtner marries half sister Znigwieczrina Nowloczynlieczwowzcrczsky of Globsnogczrecnoyarskglograd triggering a war between King Juan Jose Maria Rigoberto Aguascacas de Santo Domingo de los Diabetico and Pierre Richelesaux pretard je logriouxoueuraxeux establishing the Grand Duchy of Neue Ooksteinberg a tax haven with a population of 16
: Anonymous 02/17/22(Thu)00:51:29 No.12878558 Chinese history be like >Chao ling takes power >247 million perish European history be like >Count Baron Kaiser Werner 382 KB JPG Pfeldlinger Fingerlickner von Hoeltschweinergmachtner marries half sister Znigwieczrina Nowloczynlieczwowzcrczsky of Globsnogczrecnoyarskglograd triggering a war between King Juan Jose Maria Rigoberto Aguascacas de Santo Domingo de los Diabetico and Pierre Richelesaux pretard je logriouxoueuraxeux establishing the Grand Duchy of Neue Ooksteinberg a tax haven with a population of 16

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annon is retarded | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/28/21(Sun)12:59:04 No.848456155 >be me saturday morning >carefully walking to bedroom with a cup full of coffee >realize f--- it, I can just yeet this cup, future me will have to clean it up >yeet said cup, coffee everywhere on 19 KB JPG carpet and bed >j------- while laughing at cuck future me >mfw I'm future me
: Anonymous 02/28/21(Sun)12:59:04 No.848456155 >be me saturday morning >carefully walking to bedroom with a cup full of coffee >realize f--- it, I can just yeet this cup, future me will have to clean it up >yeet said cup, coffee everywhere on 19 KB JPG carpet and bed >j------- while laughing at cuck future me >mfw I'm future me

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Anon has priorities | /r/Greentext

Would you date this girl if she was real and confessed her feelings to you? BigglecoC 892 KB JPG 1 Reply / 1 Image View Thread : Anonymous 08/04/21(Wed)10:57:23 No.64832301 >>64832175 (OP) # Does she know how to make a grilled cheese
Would you date this girl if she was real and confessed her feelings to you? BigglecoC 892 KB JPG 1 Reply / 1 Image View Thread : Anonymous 08/04/21(Wed)10:57:23 No.64832301 >>64832175 (OP) # Does she know how to make a grilled cheese

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Anon has a dilemma | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/04/22(Wed)14:16:16 No.877513255 >go to doctor abroad dboot >takes vitals >6'2 >feelgoodman.jpg >go to doctors in home country 85 KB JPG >5'10 >mfw >go to wrestling tournament >height 6'0 WHICH ONE IS IT THEN
: Anonymous 05/04/22(Wed)14:16:16 No.877513255 >go to doctor abroad dboot >takes vitals >6'2 >feelgoodman.jpg >go to doctors in home country 85 KB JPG >5'10 >mfw >go to wrestling tournament >height 6'0 WHICH ONE IS IT THEN

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Anon have issues | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 11 hours ago 769969141 : Sorry I suck at Greentext. >Catch my now ex-wife cheating on me. >Pretend nothing is wrong but turn into a manipulative sociopath. >Break gas gauge in her car. Siphon gas out randomly so she's always running out. >Get a nanny cam that's hidden in a lamp. Get video of her f------ around. >Find out everything I can about the guy she's f------. >lol dance instructor. >Find out he's looking for work, get ahold of his resume. >Rework it so it's not retarded, impersonate him, and get him an interview at a studio 2 states away. Dream job, if you're a f--. >He bites. Takes the job and after some mushy b------- ghosts my wife. >Meanwhile I start siphoning money out of our accounts slowly and keep the cash hidden away in my truck in a lockbox. Put away $10k. >It's time. >Wait for her to be dead asleep, unlock her phone and turn off alarms on days that the coin I flip turns up heads. >She gets fired. Calls me bawling her eyes out. >When she gets home my wedding ring is on the table with her laptop playing the video of them f------. Next to that is a copy of the divorce petition. 10 REPLIES
Anonymous 11 hours ago 769969141 : Sorry I suck at Greentext. >Catch my now ex-wife cheating on me. >Pretend nothing is wrong but turn into a manipulative sociopath. >Break gas gauge in her car. Siphon gas out randomly so she's always running out. >Get a nanny cam that's hidden in a lamp. Get video of her f------ around. >Find out everything I can about the guy she's f------. >lol dance instructor. >Find out he's looking for work, get ahold of his resume. >Rework it so it's not retarded, impersonate him, and get him an interview at a studio 2 states away. Dream job, if you're a f--. >He bites. Takes the job and after some mushy b------- ghosts my wife. >Meanwhile I start siphoning money out of our accounts slowly and keep the cash hidden away in my truck in a lockbox. Put away $10k. >It's time. >Wait for her to be dead asleep, unlock her phone and turn off alarms on days that the coin I flip turns up heads. >She gets fired. Calls me bawling her eyes out. >When she gets home my wedding ring is on the table with her laptop playing the video of them f------. Next to that is a copy of the divorce petition. 10 REPLIES

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Anon has a sister | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/04/22(Wed)11:21:38 No.68490031 >be me >grew up poor >move to new house every other year >get to high school >parents finally get a permanent house >two bedrooms 86 KB JPG >one for my parents, one for my sister and me >sister and me sleep with eachother constantly >every night she gets on top and l'm on bottom >l'm referencing bunk beds If you started getting hard then you're despicable
: Anonymous 05/04/22(Wed)11:21:38 No.68490031 >be me >grew up poor >move to new house every other year >get to high school >parents finally get a permanent house >two bedrooms 86 KB JPG >one for my parents, one for my sister and me >sister and me sleep with eachother constantly >every night she gets on top and l'm on bottom >l'm referencing bunk beds If you started getting hard then you're despicable

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Anon learns how to cook | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/04/22(Wed)21:03:17 No.68493582 Why don't you learn to cook anon? >really fun >make delicious meals >girls love it and find it hot >literally beating a difficult dark souls boss-tier satisfaction after 242 KB GIF learning a new recipe and successfully cooking the food >nothing comfier than drinking a glass of red wine and listening to music while cooking, i like to listen to jazz >great date idea, invite a girl over to eat and get her drunk on wine, high probability of getting your d--- wet I used to eat like a peasant until 4 months ago when I decided to make it my weekly goal to learn one new recipe every week and actually cook it on the weekend. Now it has become a hobby for me and I will never stop making delicious meals. I love cooking Spanish and Italian meals. 7 Replies / 1 Image View Thread
: Anonymous 05/04/22(Wed)21:03:17 No.68493582 Why don't you learn to cook anon? >really fun >make delicious meals >girls love it and find it hot >literally beating a difficult dark souls boss-tier satisfaction after 242 KB GIF learning a new recipe and successfully cooking the food >nothing comfier than drinking a glass of red wine and listening to music while cooking, i like to listen to jazz >great date idea, invite a girl over to eat and get her drunk on wine, high probability of getting your d--- wet I used to eat like a peasant until 4 months ago when I decided to make it my weekly goal to learn one new recipe every week and actually cook it on the weekend. Now it has become a hobby for me and I will never stop making delicious meals. I love cooking Spanish and Italian meals. 7 Replies / 1 Image View Thread

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Anon plays mafia 2 | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/08/21(Thu)12:09:14 No.63110295 >Be me >15 at the time >Little to no irl friends >No gf >Just got Mafia 2 >l am immediately interested in Joe Barbaro 93 KB JPG >Start copying his voice, mannerisms, language, and looks. >l basically start wearing a Hawaiian shirt with a leather jacket and jeans and acting like a stereotypical New Jersey or New York guy. >l'm also interested by classic cars due to Mafia 2 >Save up enough money to get a Karmann Ghia >get a s--- ton of friends >Somehow get an average looking gf >Get my first bj in spring >Get laid sometime during summer >Mfw Joe Barbaro got me laid
: Anonymous 04/08/21(Thu)12:09:14 No.63110295 >Be me >15 at the time >Little to no irl friends >No gf >Just got Mafia 2 >l am immediately interested in Joe Barbaro 93 KB JPG >Start copying his voice, mannerisms, language, and looks. >l basically start wearing a Hawaiian shirt with a leather jacket and jeans and acting like a stereotypical New Jersey or New York guy. >l'm also interested by classic cars due to Mafia 2 >Save up enough money to get a Karmann Ghia >get a s--- ton of friends >Somehow get an average looking gf >Get my first bj in spring >Get laid sometime during summer >Mfw Joe Barbaro got me laid

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