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The epiphany | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/01/22(Wed) 23:50:28 No.879311945 Screenshot_20220601-233122.jpg 118 KB JPG >start watching a new show with my roommates >was suspicious of the concept at first but damn, it's actually got an interesting premise and gorgeous art, well written and everything >second episode in, already invested, when in the middle of a scene two of my roommates burst out laughing and the third one yells "SEE? F------ TOLD YOU!" >he hits pause >new character that was just introduced looks exactly f------ like me >down to the f------ haircut >show remains paused until they're done laughing about how the f--- does that even happen >never been more f------ baffled by something in my life, but try to act normal despite of seeing my own goddamn face on an animated screen >continue watching with them and do my best to just seem nonchalant about it >internally get mildly obsessed with this little guy >never read fanfiction in my life but look some up purely out of curiosity and satisfy some weird craving I've never had before >h-------- there's so much p--- >some of it incredibly sweet and gentle, some deeply f----- up >apparently doing both in the same story is a whole genre of fanfiction >there's women out there who would yearn to deeply brutalise, comfort, or do both to this sad mad scientist cripple shrimp guy >who f------ looks exactly like me >become invested in self-insert fics >there's girls writing themselves into the world of the show for no other reason than to f--- this sad little man >who looks like me >mfw it truly, deeply, viscerally, sinks in for me that the true reason I can't get laid is because of my personality
: Anonymous 06/01/22(Wed) 23:50:28 No.879311945 Screenshot_20220601-233122.jpg 118 KB JPG >start watching a new show with my roommates >was suspicious of the concept at first but damn, it's actually got an interesting premise and gorgeous art, well written and everything >second episode in, already invested, when in the middle of a scene two of my roommates burst out laughing and the third one yells "SEE? F------ TOLD YOU!" >he hits pause >new character that was just introduced looks exactly f------ like me >down to the f------ haircut >show remains paused until they're done laughing about how the f--- does that even happen >never been more f------ baffled by something in my life, but try to act normal despite of seeing my own goddamn face on an animated screen >continue watching with them and do my best to just seem nonchalant about it >internally get mildly obsessed with this little guy >never read fanfiction in my life but look some up purely out of curiosity and satisfy some weird craving I've never had before >h-------- there's so much p--- >some of it incredibly sweet and gentle, some deeply f----- up >apparently doing both in the same story is a whole genre of fanfiction >there's women out there who would yearn to deeply brutalise, comfort, or do both to this sad mad scientist cripple shrimp guy >who f------ looks exactly like me >become invested in self-insert fics >there's girls writing themselves into the world of the show for no other reason than to f--- this sad little man >who looks like me >mfw it truly, deeply, viscerally, sinks in for me that the true reason I can't get laid is because of my personality

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Upside down anons play the long game | /r/Greentext

12/06/17(Wed)22:41:21 No.152315696 fire.jpg 364 KB JPG >>152305387 (OP) # >1920 >be californian >get duped into buying Australian eucalyptus trees >plant thousands of acres >Australians forget to mention it takes at least 100 years for the trees to mature >thousands of investors go broke >2017 >100 years later eucalyptus trees have spread everywhere and have finally matured >Australians also forgot to mention the trees produce a highly flammable toxic oil that builds up in the tree >california burns down
12/06/17(Wed)22:41:21 No.152315696 fire.jpg 364 KB JPG >>152305387 (OP) # >1920 >be californian >get duped into buying Australian eucalyptus trees >plant thousands of acres >Australians forget to mention it takes at least 100 years for the trees to mature >thousands of investors go broke >2017 >100 years later eucalyptus trees have spread everywhere and have finally matured >Australians also forgot to mention the trees produce a highly flammable toxic oil that builds up in the tree >california burns down

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Anon watches a movie | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/27/20(Mon)00:17:07 No.132843276 03BFC167-6DBE-43ED-A53E-F7614ECDD2BA.jpg 24 KB JPG >"Rey.....Rey Skywalker" Absolute garbage. I left the theater after I heard it : Anonymous 04/27/20(Mon)00:18:02 No.132843321 >>132843276 (OP) # Ye no s--- that's when the movie ended >>132843340 # >>132843556 # >>132844401 #
: Anonymous 04/27/20(Mon)00:17:07 No.132843276 03BFC167-6DBE-43ED-A53E-F7614ECDD2BA.jpg 24 KB JPG >"Rey.....Rey Skywalker" Absolute garbage. I left the theater after I heard it : Anonymous 04/27/20(Mon)00:18:02 No.132843321 >>132843276 (OP) # Ye no s--- that's when the movie ended >>132843340 # >>132843556 # >>132844401 #

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anon is a nerd | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 41 KB JPG 06/01/22(Wed)16:33:48 No.879311113 >MFW I realize I'm the kind of guy my dad would have bullied in high school
: Anonymous 41 KB JPG 06/01/22(Wed)16:33:48 No.879311113 >MFW I realize I'm the kind of guy my dad would have bullied in high school

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The secret menu | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Retail feels thread 118 KB JPG >wink at her as she leaves >she winks back That was actually kind of cool. 06/01/22(Wed)19:11:32 No.68875207 >woman comes up to me asking about some discount >tell her I can't do it and the higher ups probably won't do it but let her know that if she complains enough they'll just give it to her >watch her complain and finally get her way
: Anonymous Retail feels thread 118 KB JPG >wink at her as she leaves >she winks back That was actually kind of cool. 06/01/22(Wed)19:11:32 No.68875207 >woman comes up to me asking about some discount >tell her I can't do it and the higher ups probably won't do it but let her know that if she complains enough they'll just give it to her >watch her complain and finally get her way

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Anon is 99% of people | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: ajOjJ10+) 454 KB GIF 06/01/22(Wed)15:53:53 No.15357167 >NOOOOO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND SEEING THINGS I DON'T LIKE TRIGGERS MY DYSPHORIA TOO HARD I NEED MY HECKING ECHO CHAMBER HUGBOX SAFESPACERINO
: Anonymous (ID: ajOjJ10+) 454 KB GIF 06/01/22(Wed)15:53:53 No.15357167 >NOOOOO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND SEEING THINGS I DON'T LIKE TRIGGERS MY DYSPHORIA TOO HARD I NEED MY HECKING ECHO CHAMBER HUGBOX SAFESPACERINO

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Anon doesn’t like weed | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Was I right or wrong in this situation /b/? >Living in apartment >Next door neighbor is a pot addict, always smoking weed to a degree that I can smell it in my own residence 13 KB JPG >Weed is illegal in my state, additionally it ruined a good friendship of mine so I admit I'm a little biased against it >Called the cops on him and said I think he is dealing drugs next door (he might be actually) >Also emailed the landlord informing them of his criminal activity I think I did the right thing honestly, I don't want to smell his stupid drug and he's not legally allowed to consume it anyways. 12 Replies / 2 Images View Thread : Anonymous 06/01/22(Wed)12:24:09 No.879302527 9 KB JPG 06/01/22(Wed)12:11:14 No.879301967 >>879302275 # LOL. Look at this clown. I'd love to see what you look like having that mindset.
: Anonymous Was I right or wrong in this situation /b/? >Living in apartment >Next door neighbor is a pot addict, always smoking weed to a degree that I can smell it in my own residence 13 KB JPG >Weed is illegal in my state, additionally it ruined a good friendship of mine so I admit I'm a little biased against it >Called the cops on him and said I think he is dealing drugs next door (he might be actually) >Also emailed the landlord informing them of his criminal activity I think I did the right thing honestly, I don't want to smell his stupid drug and he's not legally allowed to consume it anyways. 12 Replies / 2 Images View Thread : Anonymous 06/01/22(Wed)12:24:09 No.879302527 9 KB JPG 06/01/22(Wed)12:11:14 No.879301967 >>879302275 # LOL. Look at this clown. I'd love to see what you look like having that mindset.

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Anon has been free loading | /r/Greentext

06/01/22(Wed)13:33:46 No.879305701, Anonymous >me >remote worker >have not worked even a minute for the past 6 weeks >been making up things to keep my manager off me 93 KB JPG >out of believable things to tell her >have to show her progress and deliverables tomorrow >have nothing to show for the last six weeks and don't have any excuses I think she might finally figure out I've been watching netflix and haven't done anything. What do I do?
06/01/22(Wed)13:33:46 No.879305701, Anonymous >me >remote worker >have not worked even a minute for the past 6 weeks >been making up things to keep my manager off me 93 KB JPG >out of believable things to tell her >have to show her progress and deliverables tomorrow >have nothing to show for the last six weeks and don't have any excuses I think she might finally figure out I've been watching netflix and haven't done anything. What do I do?

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Anon is white passing | /r/Greentext

Anonymous Why 06/01/22(Wed)18:18:16 No.68874573 >be me >be extremely white passing mixed guy >basically cant tell im mixed >mom is black like Extremely dark skin 29 KB JPG >dad is white as they come >my dad is literally also in the f------ KKK >dont get told this >i have never meet my dad >grow up with singel mom >turn 18 decided to look dad up and call him >call dad >hello is this mr anon >yes >im your son with ms anon >brief pause >all of a sudden loud screaming >LISTEN TO ME YOU F------ PEICE OF S--- I DONT CARE HOW WHITE YOU LOOK YOU GOT THEM F------ N----- GENETICS IN YOU THE FACT YOU LOOK SO WHITE SCARES ME THE FACT YOU COULD BE HIDING AMONG WHITE PEOPLE DONT F------ CALL ME AGAIN >he hangs up >sit there for a soild 3 minutes like what the f--- just happened >told my mom >she tells me about who he really is >spend a lot of time wondering why racist people f--- black women So thats my dad
Anonymous Why 06/01/22(Wed)18:18:16 No.68874573 >be me >be extremely white passing mixed guy >basically cant tell im mixed >mom is black like Extremely dark skin 29 KB JPG >dad is white as they come >my dad is literally also in the f------ KKK >dont get told this >i have never meet my dad >grow up with singel mom >turn 18 decided to look dad up and call him >call dad >hello is this mr anon >yes >im your son with ms anon >brief pause >all of a sudden loud screaming >LISTEN TO ME YOU F------ PEICE OF S--- I DONT CARE HOW WHITE YOU LOOK YOU GOT THEM F------ N----- GENETICS IN YOU THE FACT YOU LOOK SO WHITE SCARES ME THE FACT YOU COULD BE HIDING AMONG WHITE PEOPLE DONT F------ CALL ME AGAIN >he hangs up >sit there for a soild 3 minutes like what the f--- just happened >told my mom >she tells me about who he really is >spend a lot of time wondering why racist people f--- black women So thats my dad

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Anon buys a Spider-Man. | /r/Greentext

03/06/22(Sun)15:29:37 No.873885572 : Anonymous E0D9FD24-05A3-42ED-809F-568F84B55B62.png 120 KB PNG -be me -work hard to earn $50 -spend said $50 on a lego spiderman figure -it arrives -remember you already have one -mfw : Anonymous 03/06/22(Sun)15:54:08 No.873886719 >>873885572 (OP) # now you have 2 spidey dudes and they can be friends with each other >>873888801 #
03/06/22(Sun)15:29:37 No.873885572 : Anonymous E0D9FD24-05A3-42ED-809F-568F84B55B62.png 120 KB PNG -be me -work hard to earn $50 -spend said $50 on a lego spiderman figure -it arrives -remember you already have one -mfw : Anonymous 03/06/22(Sun)15:54:08 No.873886719 >>873885572 (OP) # now you have 2 spidey dudes and they can be friends with each other >>873888801 #

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Oof ouch owie | /r/Greentext

>Be me, Japan >Enslave women to become sex slaves >Massacre 14m innocent POWS >Attack Pearl Harbor despite US being neutral >Commit many more war crimes >Get nuked >Everyone forgets about my war crimes >Don't get punished >Sympathy from everyone
>Be me, Japan >Enslave women to become sex slaves >Massacre 14m innocent POWS >Attack Pearl Harbor despite US being neutral >Commit many more war crimes >Get nuked >Everyone forgets about my war crimes >Don't get punished >Sympathy from everyone

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Anon supports Depp | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous MEGAPINT 06/01/22(Wed)16:50:34 No.68873391 Lads cheers, today we won. F--- AH and every women faking domestic abuse claims. View Thread 06/01/22(Wed)17:12:34 No.68873701 76 KB JPG 7 Replies / 2 Images Anonymous >>68873391 (OP) # I respected Depp a lot until it came out that he didn't actually beat the s--- out of Heard, very sad >>68874030 # >>68874081 #
: Anonymous MEGAPINT 06/01/22(Wed)16:50:34 No.68873391 Lads cheers, today we won. F--- AH and every women faking domestic abuse claims. View Thread 06/01/22(Wed)17:12:34 No.68873701 76 KB JPG 7 Replies / 2 Images Anonymous >>68873391 (OP) # I respected Depp a lot until it came out that he didn't actually beat the s--- out of Heard, very sad >>68874030 # >>68874081 #

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Anon has an encounter | /r/Greentext

04/05/21 (Mon)21:29:29 No.851404566 : Anonymous >be me >straight but have an interest in trap p--- >download grindr >meet twink who could easily pass off as a chick 38 KB JPG >we meet up and go back to my place >he pulls down his pants just enough for me to see his a------ >idc s---- cash >tightest a------ ever >coom after a few mins >twink turns around and takes off clothes >entire r--- dwarf colony stacked atop eachother >try running but they bite my ankles >try fighting back but there's too many >tied down and ~50 enter my virgin boipuss >cry as they all cook inside >the one who acted as the face started face f------ me >he cooms >they all laugh as they begin to stack themselves again and leave my home Every god damn time
04/05/21 (Mon)21:29:29 No.851404566 : Anonymous >be me >straight but have an interest in trap p--- >download grindr >meet twink who could easily pass off as a chick 38 KB JPG >we meet up and go back to my place >he pulls down his pants just enough for me to see his a------ >idc s---- cash >tightest a------ ever >coom after a few mins >twink turns around and takes off clothes >entire r--- dwarf colony stacked atop eachother >try running but they bite my ankles >try fighting back but there's too many >tied down and ~50 enter my virgin boipuss >cry as they all cook inside >the one who acted as the face started face f------ me >he cooms >they all laugh as they begin to stack themselves again and leave my home Every god damn time

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Anon is new to the alphabet. | /r/Greentext

Jargge 12/27/05 (Tue) 15:24 No.4058985 [Reply] d(>_<)b >>BeastUK IvGZCxJ2I1s 12/27/05(Tue) 15:26 No.405899 How do you get that backwards b? >> Anonymous 12/27/05(Tue) 15:26 No.4059003 >>4058999 its called d
Jargge 12/27/05 (Tue) 15:24 No.4058985 [Reply] d(>_<)b >>BeastUK IvGZCxJ2I1s 12/27/05(Tue) 15:26 No.405899 How do you get that backwards b? >> Anonymous 12/27/05(Tue) 15:26 No.4059003 >>4058999 its called d

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Anon guesses | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 71 KB JPG 04/15/22(Fri)18:25:57 No.876351510 >sitting blindfolded >woman in lab coat feeds me a Twix >"Left" >she marks her notes >329 consecutive correct guesses
: Anonymous 71 KB JPG 04/15/22(Fri)18:25:57 No.876351510 >sitting blindfolded >woman in lab coat feeds me a Twix >"Left" >she marks her notes >329 consecutive correct guesses

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Anon must commit. | /r/Greentext

>Be me >Straight Kissless Virgin >9\10 qt3.14 walks up to me and says "hey Anon what are you doing after school today?" >She wants me.wav 10 KB JPG >Must not let roasty make me impure >Say "I'm gay" >Virginity protected.psd >She says "oh, I have a friend who is gay want me to introduce him to you? >Too late must commit >Sure >Meet her friend at McDonalds >Tendys.pdf >We end up screwing in the bathroom >Mfw >5 years later >We are married and just adopted a baby >Still attracted to grills >Tfw roasty still never made you impure >Tfw virginity protected
>Be me >Straight Kissless Virgin >9\10 qt3.14 walks up to me and says "hey Anon what are you doing after school today?" >She wants me.wav 10 KB JPG >Must not let roasty make me impure >Say "I'm gay" >Virginity protected.psd >She says "oh, I have a friend who is gay want me to introduce him to you? >Too late must commit >Sure >Meet her friend at McDonalds >Tendys.pdf >We end up screwing in the bathroom >Mfw >5 years later >We are married and just adopted a baby >Still attracted to grills >Tfw roasty still never made you impure >Tfw virginity protected

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Anon on zoomer presidents. | /r/Greentext


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Anon is Australian | /r/Greentext

File: 1547011745154.png (111 KB, 420x344) Anonymous | 02/16/22(Wed)11:41:09 No.159852691 >>159852752 I have only left Humpybong once in my entire life, to watch cricket in Woolloongabba. Anonymous 02/16/22(Wed)11:42:43 No.159852752 File: 1636794076944.png (127 KB, 817x656) >>159852691 (OP) >Look it up >they're real places
File: 1547011745154.png (111 KB, 420x344) Anonymous | 02/16/22(Wed)11:41:09 No.159852691 >>159852752 I have only left Humpybong once in my entire life, to watch cricket in Woolloongabba. Anonymous 02/16/22(Wed)11:42:43 No.159852752 File: 1636794076944.png (127 KB, 817x656) >>159852691 (OP) >Look it up >they're real places

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Anon is nervous | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 22 KB JPG 12/07/21(Tue)00:15:40 >Modern man exists for 200.000 years >99% of that is humans being cavemen >Then suddenly we go from being cavemen to exploring the solar system in the last 1% of time How No.12430181
: Anonymous 22 KB JPG 12/07/21(Tue)00:15:40 >Modern man exists for 200.000 years >99% of that is humans being cavemen >Then suddenly we go from being cavemen to exploring the solar system in the last 1% of time How No.12430181

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anon is unhinged | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous My BF is acting weird 37 KB JPG >he progressively gets more mad until he hits me >he sees me smiling and yells why I'm happy >I tell him I lied so he'd hit me. And I say I'm happy because now I have an abusive boyfriend and it'll help me pass better as a trad wife >he walks out saying to leave him the f--- alone >he hasn't messaged for 3 days Why is he acting so odd? Men are so weird 05/31/22(Tue)14:18:28 No.26051656 >be me >22 MtF with boyfriend >happy but still dysphoric something >hatched a brilliant scheme >sits next to him and tells him I cheated on him and tells him he's pathetic and nowhere near as good as this new guy
: Anonymous My BF is acting weird 37 KB JPG >he progressively gets more mad until he hits me >he sees me smiling and yells why I'm happy >I tell him I lied so he'd hit me. And I say I'm happy because now I have an abusive boyfriend and it'll help me pass better as a trad wife >he walks out saying to leave him the f--- alone >he hasn't messaged for 3 days Why is he acting so odd? Men are so weird 05/31/22(Tue)14:18:28 No.26051656 >be me >22 MtF with boyfriend >happy but still dysphoric something >hatched a brilliant scheme >sits next to him and tells him I cheated on him and tells him he's pathetic and nowhere near as good as this new guy

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