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Anon Experiments | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/11/22(Tue)13:15:06 No.66945196 >drank 5 big cups of turkish coffee >woke up at the middle of the night with my heart racing >thought it might be the coffee >had to make sure >did it again >happened again 121 KB PNG >stoped doing it for a week >did not happen >did it again yesterday >happened again >l'm doing it again today Am I the only one who enjoys doing retarded experiments on himself?
: Anonymous 01/11/22(Tue)13:15:06 No.66945196 >drank 5 big cups of turkish coffee >woke up at the middle of the night with my heart racing >thought it might be the coffee >had to make sure >did it again >happened again 121 KB PNG >stoped doing it for a week >did not happen >did it again yesterday >happened again >l'm doing it again today Am I the only one who enjoys doing retarded experiments on himself?

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Anon is thankful pt.1 | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/13/18(Thu)14:43:25 No.787266055 alright /b/ros here's a story l've been meaning to share for a long time. I've only told this story to one person ever before >be me 18 KB PNG >21 years old >fresh uni grad, no plans for future >have a talent for learning languages >decide to enroll in a japanese language school in tokyo >manage to secure a placement, house, etc. with the money I had saved up from previous work >no friends in a new country >reading a book outside a konbini one summer night drinking cheap beer and smoking cigarettes >an older grandma starts chatting to me >asks what i was reading >end up talking to her about japanese literature and the authors i enjoy >see her outside that same 7/11 almost every evening after school and chat for +3 hours with each meeting for the next month >she always parts me with a homemade snack/ bento for the next day >slowly learn more about her >no kids, no husband, all relatives passed away >once married but after a miscarriage her husband left her >i open up about my own problems as well >she offers great advice each time >1 year passes >still see her on a weekly basis at our usual hangout >she goes to the library just take out easy to read japanese books (often kids books) which she will read to me and explain the different kanji >one night she tells me: "anon, you know i always wished i had a son, a son like you" >my grandparents from father's side were dead before i was born and my mother's parents were abusive alcoholics >tfw I never really knew what it was like to have a caring grandparent
: Anonymous 12/13/18(Thu)14:43:25 No.787266055 alright /b/ros here's a story l've been meaning to share for a long time. I've only told this story to one person ever before >be me 18 KB PNG >21 years old >fresh uni grad, no plans for future >have a talent for learning languages >decide to enroll in a japanese language school in tokyo >manage to secure a placement, house, etc. with the money I had saved up from previous work >no friends in a new country >reading a book outside a konbini one summer night drinking cheap beer and smoking cigarettes >an older grandma starts chatting to me >asks what i was reading >end up talking to her about japanese literature and the authors i enjoy >see her outside that same 7/11 almost every evening after school and chat for +3 hours with each meeting for the next month >she always parts me with a homemade snack/ bento for the next day >slowly learn more about her >no kids, no husband, all relatives passed away >once married but after a miscarriage her husband left her >i open up about my own problems as well >she offers great advice each time >1 year passes >still see her on a weekly basis at our usual hangout >she goes to the library just take out easy to read japanese books (often kids books) which she will read to me and explain the different kanji >one night she tells me: "anon, you know i always wished i had a son, a son like you" >my grandparents from father's side were dead before i was born and my mother's parents were abusive alcoholics >tfw I never really knew what it was like to have a caring grandparent

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anon copes | /r/Greentext

O Anonymous 01/10/22(Mon)18:08:29 No.66933988 Not really r---, I guess. >first gf i was 18 >getting hot and heavy >was a sperg obviously >she takes my pants and undies off >entire body freeze, i tell her no >she doesn't care, she gets on top no trauma from it, I don't concider it r---.
O Anonymous 01/10/22(Mon)18:08:29 No.66933988 Not really r---, I guess. >first gf i was 18 >getting hot and heavy >was a sperg obviously >she takes my pants and undies off >entire body freeze, i tell her no >she doesn't care, she gets on top no trauma from it, I don't concider it r---.

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Anon does the right thing | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/14/18(Sun)15:39:54 No.48688651 >outside lecture hall >smoke c-------- by my lonesome, as usual >7/10 lithuanian girl comes up to me >"hey can i have a c-------- please" 6 KB JPG >"you got a dollar?" >she says no >"cant help you then sorry" >she touches my arm and makes puppy dog eyes >"please i really need one im really stressed out please" >"sorry" >she just sighs and walks away I did good, right? I didn't let women use their charms to take advantage of me
: Anonymous 10/14/18(Sun)15:39:54 No.48688651 >outside lecture hall >smoke c-------- by my lonesome, as usual >7/10 lithuanian girl comes up to me >"hey can i have a c-------- please" 6 KB JPG >"you got a dollar?" >she says no >"cant help you then sorry" >she touches my arm and makes puppy dog eyes >"please i really need one im really stressed out please" >"sorry" >she just sighs and walks away I did good, right? I didn't let women use their charms to take advantage of me

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No setting the bar low | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 01/06/22(Thu)22:41:00 No.157739498 >>157739570 >>157739660 >>157739709 >>157740010 >>157740147 >>157740151 >>157740157 >>157740249 dating market for men >must be above 6ft >must be handsome >must have godlike charisma >must have Greek statue body >must not be bald >must have 6 figures job >must be stoic and easily beat every obstacle >must have cool multiple hobbies >must be good at sex but not be a f------
Anonymous 01/06/22(Thu)22:41:00 No.157739498 >>157739570 >>157739660 >>157739709 >>157740010 >>157740147 >>157740151 >>157740157 >>157740249 dating market for men >must be above 6ft >must be handsome >must have godlike charisma >must have Greek statue body >must not be bald >must have 6 figures job >must be stoic and easily beat every obstacle >must have cool multiple hobbies >must be good at sex but not be a f------

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Anon doesn’t believe in the U.S. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/28/21(Wed)14:14:14 No.63423667 >be me >british >wake up, eat my black pudding and stale bacon >don't brush my teeth >go to work where I scrape the literal faeces off the streets 23 KB JPG >get stabbed >go to the pub and spend my hard earned 19.50 on 2 pints of stale lager >get stabbed >go back to my revolting 1 bed apartment >eat my undercooked sausages with plain mashed potato >don't brush my teeth >sleep >repeat The UK has to be a prank at this point
: Anonymous 04/28/21(Wed)14:14:14 No.63423667 >be me >british >wake up, eat my black pudding and stale bacon >don't brush my teeth >go to work where I scrape the literal faeces off the streets 23 KB JPG >get stabbed >go to the pub and spend my hard earned 19.50 on 2 pints of stale lager >get stabbed >go back to my revolting 1 bed apartment >eat my undercooked sausages with plain mashed potato >don't brush my teeth >sleep >repeat The UK has to be a prank at this point

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anon will get his life together one day | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/04/21(Mon)18:58:31 No.843989815 >one day /b/ >one day i'll stop being a degenerate >i'll get my life on track >be someone my parents can be proud of >become a revered community 86 KB PNG leader >finish my college degree >get a wife have kids and raise them to not make the same mistakes i have >.. But that day is not today. So please post t------
: Anonymous 01/04/21(Mon)18:58:31 No.843989815 >one day /b/ >one day i'll stop being a degenerate >i'll get my life on track >be someone my parents can be proud of >become a revered community 86 KB PNG leader >finish my college degree >get a wife have kids and raise them to not make the same mistakes i have >.. But that day is not today. So please post t------

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Anon needs a router | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/31/16(Mon)18:00:10 No.57330160 THESE 2 OFFICERS HAVE KILLED OVER 250 PEOPLE WHILE ON DUTY. >new neighbors just moved right next to me >they tell me to not use WiFi because their son has WiFi WHY HAVEN'T THEY BEEN sickness PUNISHEDP 1.07 MB PNG What's the most powerful router with the longest range for under $250?
: Anonymous 10/31/16(Mon)18:00:10 No.57330160 THESE 2 OFFICERS HAVE KILLED OVER 250 PEOPLE WHILE ON DUTY. >new neighbors just moved right next to me >they tell me to not use WiFi because their son has WiFi WHY HAVEN'T THEY BEEN sickness PUNISHEDP 1.07 MB PNG What's the most powerful router with the longest range for under $250?

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Anon meets boomerbro | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/06/19(Sun)22:24:40 No.789323887 >Be me >Works at a small family owned business >Everyday this same customer comes in at a certain time >He always buys the same thing >It's a can of Monster and nothing else >End up being friends with him >He let's me call him Boomerbro 166 KB JPG >Boomerbro usually cracks it open, takes sips, and start up random conversations >The topics range from vidya to football to even politics >Eventually find out that he's actually a pretty chill and funny guy >Boomerbro always cheers me up when I'm depressed >He's never ever sad and is always smiling >Later on for some reason my uncle decided to be cheap and stop selling the can of Monsters >It's like Boomerbro had tingly Monster senses >He stopped showing up >sadness.png >Few weeks went by and he still hasn't shown up >Decided to take matters into my own hand and get the Monsters myself and restock them >Boomerbro calls me one day and tells me he's been sick and has been diagnosed with something, that's why he hasn't been showing up Boomerbro if you're there buddy, this can of Monster is for you. I hope you get well soon.
: Anonymous 01/06/19(Sun)22:24:40 No.789323887 >Be me >Works at a small family owned business >Everyday this same customer comes in at a certain time >He always buys the same thing >It's a can of Monster and nothing else >End up being friends with him >He let's me call him Boomerbro 166 KB JPG >Boomerbro usually cracks it open, takes sips, and start up random conversations >The topics range from vidya to football to even politics >Eventually find out that he's actually a pretty chill and funny guy >Boomerbro always cheers me up when I'm depressed >He's never ever sad and is always smiling >Later on for some reason my uncle decided to be cheap and stop selling the can of Monsters >It's like Boomerbro had tingly Monster senses >He stopped showing up >sadness.png >Few weeks went by and he still hasn't shown up >Decided to take matters into my own hand and get the Monsters myself and restock them >Boomerbro calls me one day and tells me he's been sick and has been diagnosed with something, that's why he hasn't been showing up Boomerbro if you're there buddy, this can of Monster is for you. I hope you get well soon.

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Anons Dad is retarded | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: V8DE0+0A 02/03/18(Sat)20:54:28 No.7275061 >dad buys 2015 Diesel Dodge Ram >6 months later says "I think I'm gonna buy a new truck" >whatthefuck.jpeg >"why you just got a new one" >"I'm gonna buy a 2016. Those diesel Engines last forever" >"then why don't you make your 2015 last forever" 128 KB JPG >says I don't understand vehicles >tfw he's over $70,000 in debt and doesn't understand why Is my dad retarded?
: Anonymous (ID: V8DE0+0A 02/03/18(Sat)20:54:28 No.7275061 >dad buys 2015 Diesel Dodge Ram >6 months later says "I think I'm gonna buy a new truck" >whatthefuck.jpeg >"why you just got a new one" >"I'm gonna buy a 2016. Those diesel Engines last forever" >"then why don't you make your 2015 last forever" 128 KB JPG >says I don't understand vehicles >tfw he's over $70,000 in debt and doesn't understand why Is my dad retarded?

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Femanon gains weight, anon gets impressed | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/06/19(Sun)18:43:21 No.50280934 >get my first boyfriend >been together for nearly a year >put on around thirty pounds since we started dating >he swears he finds me more attractive now than when I was 75 KB JPG lighter Is he being nice or am I just obsessing over it for nothing? 50 Replies / 9 Images View Thread : Anonymous 01/06/19(Sun)20:56:49 No.50283151 >>50280934 (OP) # >>put on around thirty pounds since we started dating why? how? in a SINGLE year? f------ hog
: Anonymous 01/06/19(Sun)18:43:21 No.50280934 >get my first boyfriend >been together for nearly a year >put on around thirty pounds since we started dating >he swears he finds me more attractive now than when I was 75 KB JPG lighter Is he being nice or am I just obsessing over it for nothing? 50 Replies / 9 Images View Thread : Anonymous 01/06/19(Sun)20:56:49 No.50283151 >>50280934 (OP) # >>put on around thirty pounds since we started dating why? how? in a SINGLE year? f------ hog

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Literally every conversation about Antinous Pius ever. | /r/Greentext

26m (5/6 13:13) · 11058542 3 Re · 0 Img · JPG · 2MB · (2300 × 3066) 2 Replies >become most powerful man on earth >do absolutely nothing Denaranon · 9m (5/6 13:31) · 11058630 >>11058542 (OP) >Become the most powerful man on earth >See that the country is prospering >See that your in an era of peace >Don't spend money on military motions that are unneeded >Spend money for welfare, including starting a orphanage for girls >Devote time to raising children ment to be the best possible heirs >1800 years later >F----- 4channers are mad that you didn't do dumb s---.
26m (5/6 13:13) · 11058542 3 Re · 0 Img · JPG · 2MB · (2300 × 3066) 2 Replies >become most powerful man on earth >do absolutely nothing Denaranon · 9m (5/6 13:31) · 11058630 >>11058542 (OP) >Become the most powerful man on earth >See that the country is prospering >See that your in an era of peace >Don't spend money on military motions that are unneeded >Spend money for welfare, including starting a orphanage for girls >Devote time to raising children ment to be the best possible heirs >1800 years later >F----- 4channers are mad that you didn't do dumb s---.

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Gabe appears at a game conference | /r/Greentext

File: 1338794837362 jpg-(155 KB, 800x1200, Gabe_01.jpg) O Anonymous 06/04/12(Mon)03:27 No.141846848 >Gabe comes onto stage >Talks about new Steam features, Dota 2 >Conference is coming to a close >Audience sighs in unison >"Oh and one more thing" >"Attendees perk up >A huge f------ 3 slowly fades onto screen >Crowd turns into bananas and bursts into treats >An "E" quickly pops up next to it >"Have a nice E3" >Gabe gets shot
File: 1338794837362 jpg-(155 KB, 800x1200, Gabe_01.jpg) O Anonymous 06/04/12(Mon)03:27 No.141846848 >Gabe comes onto stage >Talks about new Steam features, Dota 2 >Conference is coming to a close >Audience sighs in unison >"Oh and one more thing" >"Attendees perk up >A huge f------ 3 slowly fades onto screen >Crowd turns into bananas and bursts into treats >An "E" quickly pops up next to it >"Have a nice E3" >Gabe gets shot

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Anon is gender fluid | /r/Greentext

File: bastard.png (601 KB, 1293x1132) O Anonymous 01/11/22(Tue)03:18:07 No.870440938 >be me >genderfluid >male >walking around with my shirt off >momentarily female >instantly arrested for public nudity
File: bastard.png (601 KB, 1293x1132) O Anonymous 01/11/22(Tue)03:18:07 No.870440938 >be me >genderfluid >male >walking around with my shirt off >momentarily female >instantly arrested for public nudity

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Ye olde switcheroo | /r/Greentext

No.40240487 16 minutes ago PNG 136.6 KiB 1631x1571 >It's the police. Open up! >Go to the door, start knocking and say "It's the police. Open up!" >We're serious, stop joking around! >reply with "It's the police. Open up!" >lf you do not comply we will break down the door. >reply with "It's the police. Open up!" >This is the last warning, open up now or we will breech the door. >Take my sledgehammer and smash down my own door, proceed to arrest the 4 policemen for not opening the door.
No.40240487 16 minutes ago PNG 136.6 KiB 1631x1571 >It's the police. Open up! >Go to the door, start knocking and say "It's the police. Open up!" >We're serious, stop joking around! >reply with "It's the police. Open up!" >lf you do not comply we will break down the door. >reply with "It's the police. Open up!" >This is the last warning, open up now or we will breech the door. >Take my sledgehammer and smash down my own door, proceed to arrest the 4 policemen for not opening the door.

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Anon discovers Mexico. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 707722(Fri)15:32:07 No.870189077 > Be me >average looking white guy >solid 7, not fat >be on tinder >have to compete with 11/10 chads >get like 2 matches a month >lonely af 111 KB JPG >family invites me on trip to Mexico >go with cause I need a vacation >be at Mexico >still on tinder >get 12 matches the first day >all 10/10 >w--.png >most of them messaged first >"hey, you're really hot" (but in Spanish) >use translator to communicate >one invites me to meet >prolly gonna get stabbed and robbed >power of horny makes me go >get there and she's really there >use translator for pretty much everything >we get street food together >ask me "do you wanna hang out again tomorrow" >try to respond in broken Spanish >she laughs and thinks it's cute l'm learning >kisses me on the cheek before parting ways >next day, 4 more texts saying "let's meet" from different girls >meet with same girl as night before >go to bar with her sister and sisters boyfriend. Boyfriend is 4/10 chub while sister is 10/10 bomb >boyfriend is more beta cuck than anyone >compared to him I'm 10/10 alpha Chad >ask sister about him >apparently he was popular in school and they dated since then >bruh w--? anons, literally just go to mexico. Idc how ugly you are, you're a f------ Chad in Mexico.
: Anonymous 707722(Fri)15:32:07 No.870189077 > Be me >average looking white guy >solid 7, not fat >be on tinder >have to compete with 11/10 chads >get like 2 matches a month >lonely af 111 KB JPG >family invites me on trip to Mexico >go with cause I need a vacation >be at Mexico >still on tinder >get 12 matches the first day >all 10/10 >w--.png >most of them messaged first >"hey, you're really hot" (but in Spanish) >use translator to communicate >one invites me to meet >prolly gonna get stabbed and robbed >power of horny makes me go >get there and she's really there >use translator for pretty much everything >we get street food together >ask me "do you wanna hang out again tomorrow" >try to respond in broken Spanish >she laughs and thinks it's cute l'm learning >kisses me on the cheek before parting ways >next day, 4 more texts saying "let's meet" from different girls >meet with same girl as night before >go to bar with her sister and sisters boyfriend. Boyfriend is 4/10 chub while sister is 10/10 bomb >boyfriend is more beta cuck than anyone >compared to him I'm 10/10 alpha Chad >ask sister about him >apparently he was popular in school and they dated since then >bruh w--? anons, literally just go to mexico. Idc how ugly you are, you're a f------ Chad in Mexico.

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Anon makes a new friend. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/08/19(Tue)12:30:34 No.789444903 >be me 3 years ago >16 years old >Not many friends. >Feel alone as hell, see everyone partying and s--- and I'm sitting around at home. >Classmate at school talking about going out for a drive with friends. 38 KB JPG >Looks at me >"Hey anon! Your a funny dude, how about you join us" >Heart skips a beat, this is all I have ever wanted. >We go out eat some chipolte, go too Walmart and f--- around there. Buy like 15 king sized kit Kats for s---- n giggles. >Finally they dropped me off at home >I hate home, mom is terrible. >Obvious frown >Friendo looks at me "hey.. we'll see you around anon. You fit right in. >Smiled and nodded >Walked inside room and cried happiness cry.
: Anonymous 01/08/19(Tue)12:30:34 No.789444903 >be me 3 years ago >16 years old >Not many friends. >Feel alone as hell, see everyone partying and s--- and I'm sitting around at home. >Classmate at school talking about going out for a drive with friends. 38 KB JPG >Looks at me >"Hey anon! Your a funny dude, how about you join us" >Heart skips a beat, this is all I have ever wanted. >We go out eat some chipolte, go too Walmart and f--- around there. Buy like 15 king sized kit Kats for s---- n giggles. >Finally they dropped me off at home >I hate home, mom is terrible. >Obvious frown >Friendo looks at me "hey.. we'll see you around anon. You fit right in. >Smiled and nodded >Walked inside room and cried happiness cry.

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Lamoo FDS being FDS | /r/Greentext

Anon ruins a relationship : Anonymous 01/09/22(Sun)22:03:22 No.870357740 >be me, end of 2019 >friend asks me for "funny memes" >tell him to check Reddit >its right up his alley >he loves it 611 KB JPG >pandemic hits, he's home with his gf >he shows her Reddit >she gets into it too >she starts looking at relationship oriented subs >relationship starts getting rocky. He says she's a lot colder, demanding, less thankful, etc >says she flips out when asked to split the bill >turns out she's been frequenting female dating strategy >she breaks up with him, says she wants a high value man >friend is heartbroken, stays with me for a bit >over the course of 2021 she gained a lot of weight, been through multiple failed relationships, overall unpleasant to be around >last thing he heard from a friend of hers is she's a mod for FDS.
Anon ruins a relationship : Anonymous 01/09/22(Sun)22:03:22 No.870357740 >be me, end of 2019 >friend asks me for "funny memes" >tell him to check Reddit >its right up his alley >he loves it 611 KB JPG >pandemic hits, he's home with his gf >he shows her Reddit >she gets into it too >she starts looking at relationship oriented subs >relationship starts getting rocky. He says she's a lot colder, demanding, less thankful, etc >says she flips out when asked to split the bill >turns out she's been frequenting female dating strategy >she breaks up with him, says she wants a high value man >friend is heartbroken, stays with me for a bit >over the course of 2021 she gained a lot of weight, been through multiple failed relationships, overall unpleasant to be around >last thing he heard from a friend of hers is she's a mod for FDS.

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Anon is british | /r/Greentext

Typical everyday average British morning: >wake up >bobby knocks on door >"oi! open up you cheeky bastard and show me your 47 KB JPG sleeping licence!" >fumble around and finally find my licence >"s-sorry good sir. It's right here... God save the Queen." >bobby peers in and catches a glimpse of me telly >"halt! where's your TV licence you c---?!" >"draw TV licence from me wallet" >bobby gives a look like the bloody Queen's dodger >"oi mate! where's your permit for this licence?" >show him my licence permit >"this licence permit is expired. I'm taking you in!" >bobby draws his toy gun >stab him with my unregistered butterknife
Typical everyday average British morning: >wake up >bobby knocks on door >"oi! open up you cheeky bastard and show me your 47 KB JPG sleeping licence!" >fumble around and finally find my licence >"s-sorry good sir. It's right here... God save the Queen." >bobby peers in and catches a glimpse of me telly >"halt! where's your TV licence you c---?!" >"draw TV licence from me wallet" >bobby gives a look like the bloody Queen's dodger >"oi mate! where's your permit for this licence?" >show him my licence permit >"this licence permit is expired. I'm taking you in!" >bobby draws his toy gun >stab him with my unregistered butterknife

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Any experiences Liberal Muslims | /r/Greentext

>Be me >Lurk on r/islam >Never say anything because I'm not that educated enough for this topic >Finally find a post about sucide >Have enough knowledge about this. >timetowrite.jpg >Say if you kill yourself you'll go to hell >Get downvoted to hell for speaking the truth
>Be me >Lurk on r/islam >Never say anything because I'm not that educated enough for this topic >Finally find a post about sucide >Have enough knowledge about this. >timetowrite.jpg >Say if you kill yourself you'll go to hell >Get downvoted to hell for speaking the truth

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