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Anon almost became a wizard | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 612 KB PNG 03/16/23(Thu)17:59:24 No.72593760 1 Reply >be me >failure with women >KHV until I was 28 season then.' >now in my mid-30s >most women won't leave their s----- apartment so you can meet them >the ones who do go outside are literally, actually, unironically insane >women have higher standards than ever You lied to me. I want an apology. >'don't worry bro, women in their 30's are desperate, it's open View Thread Anonymous >>72593760 (OP) # >KHV >until I was 28 >until You have to leave, Chad. 03/16/23(Thu)18:00:38 No.72593777
Anonymous 612 KB PNG 03/16/23(Thu)17:59:24 No.72593760 1 Reply >be me >failure with women >KHV until I was 28 season then.' >now in my mid-30s >most women won't leave their s----- apartment so you can meet them >the ones who do go outside are literally, actually, unironically insane >women have higher standards than ever You lied to me. I want an apology. >'don't worry bro, women in their 30's are desperate, it's open View Thread Anonymous >>72593760 (OP) # >KHV >until I was 28 >until You have to leave, Chad. 03/16/23(Thu)18:00:38 No.72593777

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Errmm... guys Anon what the freak | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/12/21(Thu)20:36:41 No.150018852 Around the Web revcontent. The Scariest Bridge in New York is Impossible to Avoid Breaking News 8ED74A5E-9750-4E8D-9F92-FD8BA82290F9.jpg 128 KB JPG USA w-- is this
: Anonymous 08/12/21(Thu)20:36:41 No.150018852 Around the Web revcontent. The Scariest Bridge in New York is Impossible to Avoid Breaking News 8ED74A5E-9750-4E8D-9F92-FD8BA82290F9.jpg 128 KB JPG USA w-- is this

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Anon gets a snack | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 687 KB GIF >Be me, a fat dude >go buy a pack of doritos because i have my cravings >see skeleton looking people wearing winter clothing because its cold outside >i only wear a hoodie over a i am genetically built to withstand >remember i could bodyslam them into the pavement >remember i could f--- their wife with my lil chubster >then make her buy me pizza >remember i could buck break a scrawny dude >one punch from my arm equals to ten of his >but then remember God made me to tank top >remember cold 03/16/23(Thu)08:28:49 No.72592213 specifically play vidya and watch one piece >smile to myself and open the doritos : EGAS 03/16/23(Thu)08:49:04 No.72592313 >>72592213 (OP) # is this a knee-jerk reaction to the thread about weight loss? : Anonymous 03/16/23(Thu)09:10:56 No.72592425 >remember that you've always been the slowest, most unathletic, most out of shape person in every PE class. >realize that these imaginary physical altercations probably wouldn't go as well as you think. Nice obese cope.
: Anonymous 687 KB GIF >Be me, a fat dude >go buy a pack of doritos because i have my cravings >see skeleton looking people wearing winter clothing because its cold outside >i only wear a hoodie over a i am genetically built to withstand >remember i could bodyslam them into the pavement >remember i could f--- their wife with my lil chubster >then make her buy me pizza >remember i could buck break a scrawny dude >one punch from my arm equals to ten of his >but then remember God made me to tank top >remember cold 03/16/23(Thu)08:28:49 No.72592213 specifically play vidya and watch one piece >smile to myself and open the doritos : EGAS 03/16/23(Thu)08:49:04 No.72592313 >>72592213 (OP) # is this a knee-jerk reaction to the thread about weight loss? : Anonymous 03/16/23(Thu)09:10:56 No.72592425 >remember that you've always been the slowest, most unathletic, most out of shape person in every PE class. >realize that these imaginary physical altercations probably wouldn't go as well as you think. Nice obese cope.

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Family fight! Family fight! | /r/Greentext

Anonymous NINTEND GAMECUB SUN 81 KB JPG Anonymous 54 KB JPG 03/16/23(Thu)17:28:38 No.895988451 What's the worst fight you've ever gotten into with a family member 03/16/23(Thu)17:40:27 No.895988860 >>895988451 (OP) # got into an argument with little bro because he wasn't studying for an exam and then it turned into a fist fight Im super skinny so he knocked me easily and punched me in the stomach until I vomited but after that he started respecting me more and he doesn't argue with me anymore even though he knows he can just beat me up
Anonymous NINTEND GAMECUB SUN 81 KB JPG Anonymous 54 KB JPG 03/16/23(Thu)17:28:38 No.895988451 What's the worst fight you've ever gotten into with a family member 03/16/23(Thu)17:40:27 No.895988860 >>895988451 (OP) # got into an argument with little bro because he wasn't studying for an exam and then it turned into a fist fight Im super skinny so he knocked me easily and punched me in the stomach until I vomited but after that he started respecting me more and he doesn't argue with me anymore even though he knows he can just beat me up

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Anon the Achiever | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 60 KB GIF 3 Replies 10/18/22(Tue)08:08:34 No.70631462 I coomed 7 times yesterday. Bigger achievement than any of you f--- could ever even dream of accomplishing. : Anonymous View Thread 10/18/22(Tue)08:11:22 No.70631493 Congrats on being a bitchless loser anon! Maybe with that insane arm strength you could learn a sport? Or maybe use the kind of dedication to learn something useful? But I'm sure you'll just continue to being as useful as any of the other retards on here who have enough time of their hands to masturbate 7 times!
Anonymous 60 KB GIF 3 Replies 10/18/22(Tue)08:08:34 No.70631462 I coomed 7 times yesterday. Bigger achievement than any of you f--- could ever even dream of accomplishing. : Anonymous View Thread 10/18/22(Tue)08:11:22 No.70631493 Congrats on being a bitchless loser anon! Maybe with that insane arm strength you could learn a sport? Or maybe use the kind of dedication to learn something useful? But I'm sure you'll just continue to being as useful as any of the other retards on here who have enough time of their hands to masturbate 7 times!

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Anon hates glass | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 37 KB JPG 03/16/23(Thu)15:46:18 No.895976369 >be me >autistic enough to browse 4chan >work in architecture >have a big plastic bottle I drink a load of water from at work each day >reception lady believes that drinking from plastic bottles causes cancer or some s--- >buys me a glass bottle as a gift >autism mode switches on >feels wrong >tastes wrong >looks wrong >pretty much reduce my water intake by 80% >been dehydrated as f--- so can't concentrate >reception lady comes up today and says how much she enjoys seeing people use her gifts HOW THE F--- DO I GET RID OF THIS S--- WITHOUT OFFENDING HER? The only idea I've had is to turn it into a vase on my desk, but she will just buy me another one.
: Anonymous 37 KB JPG 03/16/23(Thu)15:46:18 No.895976369 >be me >autistic enough to browse 4chan >work in architecture >have a big plastic bottle I drink a load of water from at work each day >reception lady believes that drinking from plastic bottles causes cancer or some s--- >buys me a glass bottle as a gift >autism mode switches on >feels wrong >tastes wrong >looks wrong >pretty much reduce my water intake by 80% >been dehydrated as f--- so can't concentrate >reception lady comes up today and says how much she enjoys seeing people use her gifts HOW THE F--- DO I GET RID OF THIS S--- WITHOUT OFFENDING HER? The only idea I've had is to turn it into a vase on my desk, but she will just buy me another one.

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Anon has intrusive thoughts | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/15/23(Wed)23:59:18 No.72586160 179 KB PNG >on mechanical engineering class >listen about differences between steels Suddenly just like in memes >heart beats to keep you alive >lungs breathe to keep you alive >stomach digests to keep you alive >brain: You remember that one time when you danced with a girl you like in a disco? >yeah >b: she certainly consideres you disgusting, that must left her with trauma. Therefore you should poke your eye with that BIC pen >what the f---? brain, what team are you playing on?
: Anonymous 03/15/23(Wed)23:59:18 No.72586160 179 KB PNG >on mechanical engineering class >listen about differences between steels Suddenly just like in memes >heart beats to keep you alive >lungs breathe to keep you alive >stomach digests to keep you alive >brain: You remember that one time when you danced with a girl you like in a disco? >yeah >b: she certainly consideres you disgusting, that must left her with trauma. Therefore you should poke your eye with that BIC pen >what the f---? brain, what team are you playing on?

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Ruh Roh Raggy | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 34 KB JPG 08/08/15(Sat)06:54:47 No.633378377 >>633377556 # >be 10 >watching Scooby Door >tfw Velma's sexy >start stroking my d--- through the blanket >feelssogood.png >feel a volcano erupting in my loins >shout SCOOBY DOOBY DOO as I c-- >Start doing it on the reg >SCOOBY DOOBY DOO every time I c-- >Mom thinks I really like Scooby Doo >Mom buys me all seasons of Scooby Doo for Christmas
Anonymous 34 KB JPG 08/08/15(Sat)06:54:47 No.633378377 >>633377556 # >be 10 >watching Scooby Door >tfw Velma's sexy >start stroking my d--- through the blanket >feelssogood.png >feel a volcano erupting in my loins >shout SCOOBY DOOBY DOO as I c-- >Start doing it on the reg >SCOOBY DOOBY DOO every time I c-- >Mom thinks I really like Scooby Doo >Mom buys me all seasons of Scooby Doo for Christmas

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Anon sits next to a girl | /r/Greentext

File: image.jpg (37 KB, 405x509) >be me in high school >walk into class and sit next to girl >she's handicapped and in a wheelchair >she's also a smartass >pull out chemistry homework >get stuck on the first question >"hey, can you help me with this?" >ignored >ask again >she does it but is an ass about it >she says, "this is the easiest thing i've done all day" >p-----.jpg >the intercom turns on for the pledges >everyone stands >the bitch is still in her wheelchair >time to give her what she deserves >bend down and tell her "this is the easiest thing I've done all day"
File: image.jpg (37 KB, 405x509) >be me in high school >walk into class and sit next to girl >she's handicapped and in a wheelchair >she's also a smartass >pull out chemistry homework >get stuck on the first question >"hey, can you help me with this?" >ignored >ask again >she does it but is an ass about it >she says, "this is the easiest thing i've done all day" >p-----.jpg >the intercom turns on for the pledges >everyone stands >the bitch is still in her wheelchair >time to give her what she deserves >bend down and tell her "this is the easiest thing I've done all day"

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Anon's brother is extremely religious than his parents | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/26/23(Sun)23:08:32 No.72374553 >>72374397 (OP) # >grow up in pretty religious household >no STD vaccines for you, if you get disease its your fault >Brother becomes mildly more religious then parents >one day refuses to watch movies with parents because they contain more mature content >Family freaks out and has an intervention about how he is "ruined" by the cult (its the same religion as parents btw) 144 KB JPG
: Anonymous 02/26/23(Sun)23:08:32 No.72374553 >>72374397 (OP) # >grow up in pretty religious household >no STD vaccines for you, if you get disease its your fault >Brother becomes mildly more religious then parents >one day refuses to watch movies with parents because they contain more mature content >Family freaks out and has an intervention about how he is "ruined" by the cult (its the same religion as parents btw) 144 KB JPG

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Anon takes an L | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous namelet thread 83 KB PNG 10/27/21 (Wed)00:11:46 No.65912566 >born with a twin >parents wanted to give us similar names >twin was named logan >parents had a wide selection of L names to choose from >and they named me f------ LAROLD
: Anonymous namelet thread 83 KB PNG 10/27/21 (Wed)00:11:46 No.65912566 >born with a twin >parents wanted to give us similar names >twin was named logan >parents had a wide selection of L names to choose from >and they named me f------ LAROLD

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Anon’s dog is a hero | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 10/14/22(Fri)19:51:44 No.887327630 >Be me >Like 12 or something > Jacking off in my room at night >Door is open because it's night and everyone should be asleep >Dog sleep in my room 456 KB PNG >My dog snaps up and growls at the door >Figure standing in my doorway watching me >Hear my dads voice whisper "Snitch.." Why did this happen /b/.
Anonymous 10/14/22(Fri)19:51:44 No.887327630 >Be me >Like 12 or something > Jacking off in my room at night >Door is open because it's night and everyone should be asleep >Dog sleep in my room 456 KB PNG >My dog snaps up and growls at the door >Figure standing in my doorway watching me >Hear my dads voice whisper "Snitch.." Why did this happen /b/.

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Anon Sirius Black | /r/Greentext

WANTED BY UP MASSIC SIRIUS BLACK AZKABAN PRISON TYRI916 APPROACH WITH EXTREME CAUTION! * IF YOU HAVE ANY INFORMATION CONCERNING THIS PERSON, PLEASE CONTACT YOUR NEAREST AUROR OFFICE. M V REWARD THE MINISTRY OF MAGIC IS OFFERING A REWARD OF 1.000 GALLEONS FOR INFORMATION LEADING DIPECTLY TO THE REST OF BELLATRIX LESTRANGE H--- TRUYA >be me, Sirius Black >live in a world that has literal truth serum potions and mind reading memory magic >get falsely imprisoned and tortured for a decade Is Rowling a hack or am I missing something here?
WANTED BY UP MASSIC SIRIUS BLACK AZKABAN PRISON TYRI916 APPROACH WITH EXTREME CAUTION! * IF YOU HAVE ANY INFORMATION CONCERNING THIS PERSON, PLEASE CONTACT YOUR NEAREST AUROR OFFICE. M V REWARD THE MINISTRY OF MAGIC IS OFFERING A REWARD OF 1.000 GALLEONS FOR INFORMATION LEADING DIPECTLY TO THE REST OF BELLATRIX LESTRANGE H--- TRUYA >be me, Sirius Black >live in a world that has literal truth serum potions and mind reading memory magic >get falsely imprisoned and tortured for a decade Is Rowling a hack or am I missing something here?

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Anon goes to the land of the pure | /r/Greentext

File: 1672657567110202.jpg (47 KB, 619x453) Anonymous 03/15/23(Wed)13:27:47 No.72582728 [Reply] >>72582800 >>72583375 >be me >born in lower-middle class family in a western country. >gay >this ain't bad. >family is devout Muslim, hate everything about the country we live in. >s---.mp4 >Parents are FIRST COUSINS >inbredasfuck >got a tumor in my face as a child >surgery left my already mongoloid inbred looking face even more f----- up. >defective body, slurred speech due to inbred but can still think. >brother in jail for r----- a child. >parents sending me to live in Pakistan. >be a gay deformed inbred mongoloid being sent to Pakistan to MARRY MY SECOND COUSIN!
File: 1672657567110202.jpg (47 KB, 619x453) Anonymous 03/15/23(Wed)13:27:47 No.72582728 [Reply] >>72582800 >>72583375 >be me >born in lower-middle class family in a western country. >gay >this ain't bad. >family is devout Muslim, hate everything about the country we live in. >s---.mp4 >Parents are FIRST COUSINS >inbredasfuck >got a tumor in my face as a child >surgery left my already mongoloid inbred looking face even more f----- up. >defective body, slurred speech due to inbred but can still think. >brother in jail for r----- a child. >parents sending me to live in Pakistan. >be a gay deformed inbred mongoloid being sent to Pakistan to MARRY MY SECOND COUSIN!

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Anon masturbates to robots | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous help 03/16/23(Thu)07:56:55 No.72587981 1.54 MB JPG >Wacking my willy >slipping my jimmy >watching degenerate robot p--- >all is well >sudden pain in right leg >calf cramps up, feels like my tendons are being ripped from my bone >Im in agony >instantly stop playing with my worm, straighten my leg as i bite my pillow >searing punishment from god lasts five agonizing minutes tops >calf hurts so bad, pain doesn't even go away when the cramp ends >afterwards I have no drive to continue fap >this has happened 4 times in the span of 2 >same exact situation each time >I never have cramps besides these, last time I had a cramp was in a pool when I was 14 Is God punishing me for my degeneracy or do I need more iron?
: Anonymous help 03/16/23(Thu)07:56:55 No.72587981 1.54 MB JPG >Wacking my willy >slipping my jimmy >watching degenerate robot p--- >all is well >sudden pain in right leg >calf cramps up, feels like my tendons are being ripped from my bone >Im in agony >instantly stop playing with my worm, straighten my leg as i bite my pillow >searing punishment from god lasts five agonizing minutes tops >calf hurts so bad, pain doesn't even go away when the cramp ends >afterwards I have no drive to continue fap >this has happened 4 times in the span of 2 >same exact situation each time >I never have cramps besides these, last time I had a cramp was in a pool when I was 14 Is God punishing me for my degeneracy or do I need more iron?

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Anon dislikes China | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 03/15/23(Wed)20:29:31 No.57504320 ► File: b0c0e4b2871415e8dd1f39988(...).jpg (413 KB, 1426x2048) >>57492660 >deliberately unleashes global plague >debt traps 3rd worlders >engages in economic warfare >wolf warrior "diplomacy" >commits genocide >mass murders protestors >operates surveillance state >floods the internet with propaganda >actively works to subvert the West W-why doesn't anyone like China bros!?!? Seriously though you as a collective are f------ awful to deal with. The sad thing is that you didn't have to turn out like this as Taiwan proves.
Anonymous 03/15/23(Wed)20:29:31 No.57504320 ► File: b0c0e4b2871415e8dd1f39988(...).jpg (413 KB, 1426x2048) >>57492660 >deliberately unleashes global plague >debt traps 3rd worlders >engages in economic warfare >wolf warrior "diplomacy" >commits genocide >mass murders protestors >operates surveillance state >floods the internet with propaganda >actively works to subvert the West W-why doesn't anyone like China bros!?!? Seriously though you as a collective are f------ awful to deal with. The sad thing is that you didn't have to turn out like this as Taiwan proves.

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Anon watches erotic media | /r/Greentext

E Anonymous >be me 2 hours ago, watching p--- >its the most generic p---- you can watch, a man and a woman having normal sex on a bed >the final scene is comming and the guy is moaning as he is doing her missionary and is signaling he is about to c-- >as this happens he immediately gets off her, lays on his back in the bed, puts his feet behind his neck, cooms on his own face and starts sucking his own c--- GAY 341 KB JPG 06/12/22(Sun)13:45:34 No.69013158 Why would you do this? There was literally no hint during the whole movie that something so gay would take place. Was this the directors idea of a funny joke? 2 Replies : Anonymous >>69013158 (OP) # I don't see a link. Chop chop. View Thread 06/12/22(Sun)13:46:35 No.69013164 06/12/22(Sun)14:16:58 No.69013350 Anonymous >>69013158 (OP) # That's funny as f---. Mad respect for the producers.
E Anonymous >be me 2 hours ago, watching p--- >its the most generic p---- you can watch, a man and a woman having normal sex on a bed >the final scene is comming and the guy is moaning as he is doing her missionary and is signaling he is about to c-- >as this happens he immediately gets off her, lays on his back in the bed, puts his feet behind his neck, cooms on his own face and starts sucking his own c--- GAY 341 KB JPG 06/12/22(Sun)13:45:34 No.69013158 Why would you do this? There was literally no hint during the whole movie that something so gay would take place. Was this the directors idea of a funny joke? 2 Replies : Anonymous >>69013158 (OP) # I don't see a link. Chop chop. View Thread 06/12/22(Sun)13:46:35 No.69013164 06/12/22(Sun)14:16:58 No.69013350 Anonymous >>69013158 (OP) # That's funny as f---. Mad respect for the producers.

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Anon asks real questions | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous CHATGPT 19 KB JPG 03/15/23(Wed)06:33:58 No.7255038 So can Chat-GPT4 translate all existing Hentai into English?
: Anonymous CHATGPT 19 KB JPG 03/15/23(Wed)06:33:58 No.7255038 So can Chat-GPT4 translate all existing Hentai into English?

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anon is delusional | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 44 KB JPG 03/15/23(Wed)16:39:44 No.895948604 reminder: this was the last good game >good graphics >good gameplay >no download update b------- >instant matchmaking >no dlc lootboxes or payment options >tons of maps >everything works >no glitches >no t----- psyop b------- >chill but also competitive multiplayer >mt dew and doritos sponsored 21 Replies / 2 Images View Thread : Anonymous >>895948604 (OP) # >no download update b------- >no dlc lootboxes or payment options >no glitches retard clouded by nostalgia 03/15/23(Wed)17:45:16 No.895951803
: Anonymous 44 KB JPG 03/15/23(Wed)16:39:44 No.895948604 reminder: this was the last good game >good graphics >good gameplay >no download update b------- >instant matchmaking >no dlc lootboxes or payment options >tons of maps >everything works >no glitches >no t----- psyop b------- >chill but also competitive multiplayer >mt dew and doritos sponsored 21 Replies / 2 Images View Thread : Anonymous >>895948604 (OP) # >no download update b------- >no dlc lootboxes or payment options >no glitches retard clouded by nostalgia 03/15/23(Wed)17:45:16 No.895951803

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/fit/izen contributes to a ‘mire thread | /r/Greentext

Anonymous CHRISTIS VERYHOLY 03/15/23(Wed)14:57:23 No.70279680 >be me this morning >filming a time lapse for a construction company >sunny day, chilling AM ASTONISHED BY HIS MERCY >bumblebee suddenly falls on the 34 KB JPG ground a foot away from me >seems disoriented, keeps spazzing and getting stuck on his back >he's probably tired >get a coffee cup, pour water in and add a few drops of coke >help him on his feet >serve him his drink in a dead leaf >there you go little buddy >he sips it and rests for a minute >mfw he flies away perfectly fine It was me, I was miring God's creation and infinite love >>70279947 # >>70280231 # >>70284833 #
Anonymous CHRISTIS VERYHOLY 03/15/23(Wed)14:57:23 No.70279680 >be me this morning >filming a time lapse for a construction company >sunny day, chilling AM ASTONISHED BY HIS MERCY >bumblebee suddenly falls on the 34 KB JPG ground a foot away from me >seems disoriented, keeps spazzing and getting stuck on his back >he's probably tired >get a coffee cup, pour water in and add a few drops of coke >help him on his feet >serve him his drink in a dead leaf >there you go little buddy >he sips it and rests for a minute >mfw he flies away perfectly fine It was me, I was miring God's creation and infinite love >>70279947 # >>70280231 # >>70284833 #

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