Greentext Stories - Images
You plus me equals us | /r/Greentext
Greentext Stories
Reality isn't real, become /x/pilled | /r/Greentext
Greentext Stories
Magneto responds | /r/Greentext
Greentext Stories
Anon makes it | /r/Greentext
Greentext Stories
You know the rules | /r/Greentext
Greentext Stories
Anon got that negative rizz | /r/Greentext
Greentext Stories
Anon summarizes the Russia / Ukraine conflict | /r/Greentext
Greentext Stories
Fem(anon) prefers vidyas over socializing | /r/Greentext
Greentext Stories
Anon makes a joke | /r/Greentext
Greentext Stories
anon cums at sleepover | /r/Greentext
Greentext Stories
Anon does not have a tp holder | /r/Greentext
![DO > have to s--- > No tp holder, so i keep the roll on top of a washing machine > Wipe my ass Retard moment inc > Throw the whole roll into the toilet > Keep the shitstained paper in my hand How the f--- have I survived to 25 /b/? [-] [-] Anonymous 17 minutes ago No.899370500 [▼] >>899369482 (OP) use your socks Anonymous 39 minutes ago No.899369482 [▼] [-] Anonymous 8 minutes ago No.899370861 [▼] >>899369482 (OP) use wet roll Anonymous 38 minutes ago No.899369547 [▼] >>899369482 (OP) > Throw the whole roll into the toilet [-] Anonymous 2 minutes ago No.899371084 [▼] >>899371115 3uu6a06c16271.jpg (28 KB, 639x639) iqdb google yandex [-] Anonymous 2 minutes ago No.899371115 [▼] >>899371084 you are a disgusting human being. I tried to use the wet roll. It wasn't something I'm proud of or would like to repeat anytime soon I think just using my hand or a towel would be better. I was left with wet poopy papier-mâché ass](https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/masonry/002/589/817/071.png)
![DO > have to s--- > No tp holder, so i keep the roll on top of a washing machine > Wipe my ass Retard moment inc > Throw the whole roll into the toilet > Keep the shitstained paper in my hand How the f--- have I survived to 25 /b/? [-] [-] Anonymous 17 minutes ago No.899370500 [▼] >>899369482 (OP) use your socks Anonymous 39 minutes ago No.899369482 [▼] [-] Anonymous 8 minutes ago No.899370861 [▼] >>899369482 (OP) use wet roll Anonymous 38 minutes ago No.899369547 [▼] >>899369482 (OP) > Throw the whole roll into the toilet [-] Anonymous 2 minutes ago No.899371084 [▼] >>899371115 3uu6a06c16271.jpg (28 KB, 639x639) iqdb google yandex [-] Anonymous 2 minutes ago No.899371115 [▼] >>899371084 you are a disgusting human being. I tried to use the wet roll. It wasn't something I'm proud of or would like to repeat anytime soon I think just using my hand or a towel would be better. I was left with wet poopy papier-mâché ass](https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/002/589/817/071.png)
Greentext Stories
Anon speaks with his regional branch manager | /r/Greentext
Greentext Stories
Xmas dinner doing it's thing | /r/Greentext
Greentext Stories
Anon is self exiled | /r/Greentext
Greentext Stories
Anon likes Mozart | /r/Greentext
Greentext Stories
Anon needs an ambulance | /r/Greentext
Greentext Stories
Miss the old Elon | /r/Greentext
Greentext Stories
Anon takes a shit in school | /r/Greentext
Greentext Stories
Anon has a crush on his school advisor. | /r/Greentext
![File:1202463334.jpg-(4 KB, 146x109, depewdj5.jpg) Okay so at my school we have faculty advisers that are assigned to students according to their last names. The faculty advisers help students with scheduling conflicts, general questions, help with internships/employment, etc. My adviser is named Jess Depew and as you can see she's pretty hot. The picture doesn't really do her justice but they're all I've got at the moment. She's like 25 and she's only been at the school a few years. Anyway, I have been looking into getting an internship at a TV station or something over the summer, and the school helps coordinate these things with an internship database that's maintained by the advisers. You log on with your school ID and password and you can browse internships and stuff. I was having trouble logging on to mine so I went to go see Ms. Depew. That's where all the trouble started. Firstly, I walked into office like 15 minutes early like an idiot and she's in the middle of lunch. So I awkwardly make stupid stall talk until she's finished. "Oh, hey, what are you eating?" "Salmon. I love it. I eat it practically everyday." "Just salmon? That's pretty weird." Why the hell did I say this? "Oh, well, I don't know. I try to eat healthy, natural foods...you know, like wild berries and honey and stuff." "Yeah, I like food too." *facepalm* 02/08/08(Fri)04:35:34 No.53299049 Man, I was so nervous. Anyway, we finally begin squaring my stuff away. She looks up what I registered with in the beginning of the year. This is when the crap really hit the fan. This is how the conversation went "Okay, you're account name is [my name] and your password is...'depewissexy'..." >> 02/08/08 (Fri)04:36:12 No.53299084 Oh damn. I completely forgot that I put that as my password in the beginning of the year. What the hell was I thinking? It was probably the longest 20 seconds of my life before I finally got my balls together to stand up and leave. Just as I walk out the door she says. "In the future, you might want to bear in mind what kind of things you want keep to yourself." I was so freaking embarrassed I wanted to kill myself right then and there. I wanted to run the hell out of there and never, ever see her again. But something about what she just said kept me standing in her doorway. I decided to man up and apologize. I turned to her, looked her straight in the eyes, and swallowed my pride. And then, it hit me like a train full of bricks. She was eating Salmon. She tries to eat all healthy, natural foods, like wild berries and honey. She told me that I might want to bear in mind what kind of things I want to keep to myself. Ms. Depew was a bear disguised as a human. Story time /b/:( My hot advisor found out I like her. Pic related. >> 02/08/08(Fr)04:37:30 No.53299155 Immediately, the bear saw that I had seen through its charade. It roared loudly and took a menacing swipe at me. I deftly avoided its claw and sprinted out of the office. The bear was soon in chase, crashing through the walls of the office as if they were made of paper. I jumped over the receptionist desk and ran out the back entrance. The bear followed, tossing the secretary aside like a rag doll. The bear began to pursue me through the street traffic. While I fought my way through the maze of vehicles, the bear simply careened its massive force through anything standing in its way. Cars veered off the road to escape the onslaught of grizzly force that was barreling down the road. The bear was gaining fast. I had no other option but to make my way into the nearest building a preschool. I burst through the door, startling the children from their naps. Immediately, the bear slammed through the wall, crushing a child beneath his massive paws and burying several other children in sheet rock and debris. I maneuvered my way through the chaos towards the back exit. The pre-schoolers were little more than a screaming annoyance for the bear. Its massive paws cut swaths through the sea of toddlers with each swipe. I used the precious time these children had afforded for me to make my escape into the playground. I scrambled up a ladder to a fort-like structure. My goal was to walk across the monkey bars then jump to a tree which I could climb to the roof of the preschool and perhaps flag down a passing helicopter. >> 02/08/08(Fri)04:38:08 No.53299187 F-----' Lol i f------ lol'd >> 02/08/08 (Fr)04:38:19 No.53299197 >> 02/08/08 (Fr)04:38:32 No.53299212 Caught me completely off guard >> 02/08/08(Fri)04:39:40 No.53299267 k File:1202463580.gif-(54 KB, 361x365, 1199743000374.gif) did you make her bear cry? >>53299049 >> 02/08/08(Fri)04:40:55 No.53299331 I lol'd so hard >> 02/08/08(Fri)04:41:48 No.53299380 F----- epic win](https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/masonry/002/589/629/76f.jpg)
![File:1202463334.jpg-(4 KB, 146x109, depewdj5.jpg) Okay so at my school we have faculty advisers that are assigned to students according to their last names. The faculty advisers help students with scheduling conflicts, general questions, help with internships/employment, etc. My adviser is named Jess Depew and as you can see she's pretty hot. The picture doesn't really do her justice but they're all I've got at the moment. She's like 25 and she's only been at the school a few years. Anyway, I have been looking into getting an internship at a TV station or something over the summer, and the school helps coordinate these things with an internship database that's maintained by the advisers. You log on with your school ID and password and you can browse internships and stuff. I was having trouble logging on to mine so I went to go see Ms. Depew. That's where all the trouble started. Firstly, I walked into office like 15 minutes early like an idiot and she's in the middle of lunch. So I awkwardly make stupid stall talk until she's finished. "Oh, hey, what are you eating?" "Salmon. I love it. I eat it practically everyday." "Just salmon? That's pretty weird." Why the hell did I say this? "Oh, well, I don't know. I try to eat healthy, natural foods...you know, like wild berries and honey and stuff." "Yeah, I like food too." *facepalm* 02/08/08(Fri)04:35:34 No.53299049 Man, I was so nervous. Anyway, we finally begin squaring my stuff away. She looks up what I registered with in the beginning of the year. This is when the crap really hit the fan. This is how the conversation went "Okay, you're account name is [my name] and your password is...'depewissexy'..." >> 02/08/08 (Fri)04:36:12 No.53299084 Oh damn. I completely forgot that I put that as my password in the beginning of the year. What the hell was I thinking? It was probably the longest 20 seconds of my life before I finally got my balls together to stand up and leave. Just as I walk out the door she says. "In the future, you might want to bear in mind what kind of things you want keep to yourself." I was so freaking embarrassed I wanted to kill myself right then and there. I wanted to run the hell out of there and never, ever see her again. But something about what she just said kept me standing in her doorway. I decided to man up and apologize. I turned to her, looked her straight in the eyes, and swallowed my pride. And then, it hit me like a train full of bricks. She was eating Salmon. She tries to eat all healthy, natural foods, like wild berries and honey. She told me that I might want to bear in mind what kind of things I want to keep to myself. Ms. Depew was a bear disguised as a human. Story time /b/:( My hot advisor found out I like her. Pic related. >> 02/08/08(Fr)04:37:30 No.53299155 Immediately, the bear saw that I had seen through its charade. It roared loudly and took a menacing swipe at me. I deftly avoided its claw and sprinted out of the office. The bear was soon in chase, crashing through the walls of the office as if they were made of paper. I jumped over the receptionist desk and ran out the back entrance. The bear followed, tossing the secretary aside like a rag doll. The bear began to pursue me through the street traffic. While I fought my way through the maze of vehicles, the bear simply careened its massive force through anything standing in its way. Cars veered off the road to escape the onslaught of grizzly force that was barreling down the road. The bear was gaining fast. I had no other option but to make my way into the nearest building a preschool. I burst through the door, startling the children from their naps. Immediately, the bear slammed through the wall, crushing a child beneath his massive paws and burying several other children in sheet rock and debris. I maneuvered my way through the chaos towards the back exit. The pre-schoolers were little more than a screaming annoyance for the bear. Its massive paws cut swaths through the sea of toddlers with each swipe. I used the precious time these children had afforded for me to make my escape into the playground. I scrambled up a ladder to a fort-like structure. My goal was to walk across the monkey bars then jump to a tree which I could climb to the roof of the preschool and perhaps flag down a passing helicopter. >> 02/08/08(Fri)04:38:08 No.53299187 F-----' Lol i f------ lol'd >> 02/08/08 (Fr)04:38:19 No.53299197 >> 02/08/08 (Fr)04:38:32 No.53299212 Caught me completely off guard >> 02/08/08(Fri)04:39:40 No.53299267 k File:1202463580.gif-(54 KB, 361x365, 1199743000374.gif) did you make her bear cry? >>53299049 >> 02/08/08(Fri)04:40:55 No.53299331 I lol'd so hard >> 02/08/08(Fri)04:41:48 No.53299380 F----- epic win](https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/002/589/629/76f.jpg)
Greentext Stories
Believing women that you paid to be nice to you…… | /r/Greentext
Greentext Stories
