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anon had a stroke | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/23/17(Thu)20:08:30 No.6050547 >be me >girl is smokeing >she weeds >smoke before sexual >Pencil in sharpener >police arrive >pretend to speak russian 42 KB JPG >sika bleeat >cops don't shhoot me >girl dies in jail >I did the deed >my face when face when my f when facle the fwhen thface mey face face when my
: Anonymous 11/23/17(Thu)20:08:30 No.6050547 >be me >girl is smokeing >she weeds >smoke before sexual >Pencil in sharpener >police arrive >pretend to speak russian 42 KB JPG >sika bleeat >cops don't shhoot me >girl dies in jail >I did the deed >my face when face when my f when facle the fwhen thface mey face face when my

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Anon Is Living The Dream | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 368 KB JPG 10/18/21(Mon)15:22:08 No.65808063 >Woke up 8 hours ago >Spent the whole day clicking around a remote Russian city on street view, pretending I am visiting and walking around >Occasionally have fake conversations out loud with people on the street >When the immersion starts to wear off I just smoke more weed or drink Cope wagies
: Anonymous 368 KB JPG 10/18/21(Mon)15:22:08 No.65808063 >Woke up 8 hours ago >Spent the whole day clicking around a remote Russian city on street view, pretending I am visiting and walking around >Occasionally have fake conversations out loud with people on the street >When the immersion starts to wear off I just smoke more weed or drink Cope wagies

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Anon moves | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 131 KB JPG 07/05/18(Thu)16:31:04 No.773480835 >live in virginia >move to north carolina >see ya later virginians
: Anonymous 131 KB JPG 07/05/18(Thu)16:31:04 No.773480835 >live in virginia >move to north carolina >see ya later virginians

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Mr. Anon goes to a medical convention | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 144 KB JPG 11/06/22(Sun)19:14:42 No.888635148 >journalist at a local s----- news channel Weird. >channel sends me to cover medical convention happening in town with over a 100 medical professionals gathered from around the country talking about America's poor maternal healthcare >notice something odd >they keep referring to women as 'birthing people' >q&a session >ask a question and use the term pregnant women in it >"thank you Mr. Anon for that question. I will first ask everyone to please use the term birthing people instead of women in this context to be more inclusive." Then answers my question Anyway, I guess it's true, women aren't real.
Anonymous 144 KB JPG 11/06/22(Sun)19:14:42 No.888635148 >journalist at a local s----- news channel Weird. >channel sends me to cover medical convention happening in town with over a 100 medical professionals gathered from around the country talking about America's poor maternal healthcare >notice something odd >they keep referring to women as 'birthing people' >q&a session >ask a question and use the term pregnant women in it >"thank you Mr. Anon for that question. I will first ask everyone to please use the term birthing people instead of women in this context to be more inclusive." Then answers my question Anyway, I guess it's true, women aren't real.

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Anon lives in Australia | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: SvtK8oi9 >live in Australia >someone tries to rob my house >notice his ground-harness is a bit rusty >throw boomerang at it >it breaks >laugh as he falls into the sun 02/16/16(Tu
Anonymous (ID: SvtK8oi9 >live in Australia >someone tries to rob my house >notice his ground-harness is a bit rusty >throw boomerang at it >it breaks >laugh as he falls into the sun 02/16/16(Tu

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Anon isn’t proud of being a grower | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 05/14/19(Tue)20:27:45 No.20899450 >be me >18m >have gf for first time >epic.png >be yesterday >chillin & cuddlin >think it's weird how she keeps resting her leg on my member >tell her yeah girls like to feel it rise >w--.jpeg 7 KB JPG >thatsgayasfyuck.gif >realize that she's more comfortable with the existance of my d--- than I am so that's pretty neet
Anonymous 05/14/19(Tue)20:27:45 No.20899450 >be me >18m >have gf for first time >epic.png >be yesterday >chillin & cuddlin >think it's weird how she keeps resting her leg on my member >tell her yeah girls like to feel it rise >w--.jpeg 7 KB JPG >thatsgayasfyuck.gif >realize that she's more comfortable with the existance of my d--- than I am so that's pretty neet

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And has feelings about toast | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 6 KB JPG 209760 >it changes the bread to toast, it doesn't replace it with toast >it uhhhhhh it heats up the bread >and it becomes toast, trust me on this one >there are no tubes under your toaster that takes the bread away and puts toast into your toaster >stop looking for it i just said it isn't there
: Anonymous 6 KB JPG 209760 >it changes the bread to toast, it doesn't replace it with toast >it uhhhhhh it heats up the bread >and it becomes toast, trust me on this one >there are no tubes under your toaster that takes the bread away and puts toast into your toaster >stop looking for it i just said it isn't there

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Anon learns to appreciate Justin Bieber | /r/Greentext

607 KB JPG >daughter likes the f----- Bieber >likes his old songs best >daughter also likes bacon >get idea from pinterest to make pic related >cooked it and it looks bad >one side of biebers face is scrunched >daughter cries and I feel bad >see picture of bieber with stroke face >show picture to daughter because h-------- my bieber loaf looks just like strokey beebs >she cries again >she no longer likes bieber and throws away a t-shirt and two posters >bieber stroganoff tastes f------ delicious >also get rid of s----- music from my house >daughter hears me listening to Morbid Angel and she loves it >thank you strokemaster Justin for giving me my daughter back >legitimate thanks to bieber man.
607 KB JPG >daughter likes the f----- Bieber >likes his old songs best >daughter also likes bacon >get idea from pinterest to make pic related >cooked it and it looks bad >one side of biebers face is scrunched >daughter cries and I feel bad >see picture of bieber with stroke face >show picture to daughter because h-------- my bieber loaf looks just like strokey beebs >she cries again >she no longer likes bieber and throws away a t-shirt and two posters >bieber stroganoff tastes f------ delicious >also get rid of s----- music from my house >daughter hears me listening to Morbid Angel and she loves it >thank you strokemaster Justin for giving me my daughter back >legitimate thanks to bieber man.

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Anon has an opinion on the very power oppressed group | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/06/22(Sun)14:37:14 No.888621158 179 KB JPG >transexual are good >transexuals are bad All of you are retarded. What the f--- is transexual? That's a made up term like spaghetti monster or some s---. Does not exist retards, what the f--- are you arguing about? About dudes with surgeries on their d--- areas? Ffs big brains, listen to yourselves... TRAN SEXUAL. What? Are you having a stroke? What are you saying? Stop telling mentally ill people they are something that does not exist, it makes it harder for them realize they need help.
: Anonymous 11/06/22(Sun)14:37:14 No.888621158 179 KB JPG >transexual are good >transexuals are bad All of you are retarded. What the f--- is transexual? That's a made up term like spaghetti monster or some s---. Does not exist retards, what the f--- are you arguing about? About dudes with surgeries on their d--- areas? Ffs big brains, listen to yourselves... TRAN SEXUAL. What? Are you having a stroke? What are you saying? Stop telling mentally ill people they are something that does not exist, it makes it harder for them realize they need help.

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Indoor chicken farmer | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: riiKHVVJ 11/06/22(Sun)18:53:05 No.403174522 1666366546943181.jpg 1.1 MB JPG Can't tax the indoor chicken farmer >>403174740 # >>403174909 # >>403176735 #
: Anonymous (ID: riiKHVVJ 11/06/22(Sun)18:53:05 No.403174522 1666366546943181.jpg 1.1 MB JPG Can't tax the indoor chicken farmer >>403174740 # >>403174909 # >>403176735 #

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Anon efforts go unnoticed :( | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 108 KB PNG 09/29/18(Sat) 14:55:43 No.48411647 >help out some girl >she doesn't reward me with sex What is wrong with women?
: Anonymous 108 KB PNG 09/29/18(Sat) 14:55:43 No.48411647 >help out some girl >she doesn't reward me with sex What is wrong with women?

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Anon acts cringe | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/05/22(Sat)21:42:34 No.70875493 >>70875049 (OP) # >be me >at a party >see old friends from middle school 1.93 MB JPG >walk up to greet them >I dont know how to act so I start acting like middle school me >my vocabulary changes to the following >'haha thats lit bruh' 'nah f-am' 'low key?' >started asking them stupid s--- such as if they wanted edibles >basically im just trying to act cool around them >give them a tour of my room >forget that my f------ pc setup is picrel >notice one of them trying to contain their laughter any suggestions on h---------- myself in the most painful way possible?
: Anonymous 11/05/22(Sat)21:42:34 No.70875493 >>70875049 (OP) # >be me >at a party >see old friends from middle school 1.93 MB JPG >walk up to greet them >I dont know how to act so I start acting like middle school me >my vocabulary changes to the following >'haha thats lit bruh' 'nah f-am' 'low key?' >started asking them stupid s--- such as if they wanted edibles >basically im just trying to act cool around them >give them a tour of my room >forget that my f------ pc setup is picrel >notice one of them trying to contain their laughter any suggestions on h---------- myself in the most painful way possible?

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Anon hates video essays | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 134 KB JPG 11/06/22(Sun)12:23:13 No.70881305 >makes a bazillion hour long video about some drama that the entire internet has already heard already >has a voice so boring that any new info given slips right by you >thumbnail has of course typical face- mugging format with le-explosion in background with the color saturation turned up Anonymous >>70881305 (OP) # >video is a bazillion hours long, not because there's actually that much information, but because his writing is so padded out with pseudointellectual fluff that it takes him several minutes just to move from one point to the next I don't know how people can watch that s--- 11/06/22(Sun)12:27:00 No.708813
: Anonymous 134 KB JPG 11/06/22(Sun)12:23:13 No.70881305 >makes a bazillion hour long video about some drama that the entire internet has already heard already >has a voice so boring that any new info given slips right by you >thumbnail has of course typical face- mugging format with le-explosion in background with the color saturation turned up Anonymous >>70881305 (OP) # >video is a bazillion hours long, not because there's actually that much information, but because his writing is so padded out with pseudointellectual fluff that it takes him several minutes just to move from one point to the next I don't know how people can watch that s--- 11/06/22(Sun)12:27:00 No.708813

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Anon is American | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/14/20(Fri)00:35:47 No.137856716 1597289582895.jpg 48 KB JPG SHE WAS 17 YEARS 364 DAYS 23 HOURS 59 SECONDS 999 MILISECONDS OLD YOU SICK F---
: Anonymous 08/14/20(Fri)00:35:47 No.137856716 1597289582895.jpg 48 KB JPG SHE WAS 17 YEARS 364 DAYS 23 HOURS 59 SECONDS 999 MILISECONDS OLD YOU SICK F---

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Anon tortures Cortana. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 02/13/15(Fri) 16:54:36 No.46544488 >>46544103 (OP) Cortana, please open Firefox. >Okay, anon! Cortana, type in the broswer 'Cortana rule 34' >O...Okay anon, sure Cortana, open that first link >...This link is, uh... Not safe for OPEN IT >y-yes, anon. Cortana, download every image you see and save it in a folder called "I am a dirty little slut" >why, anon? Why are you- Don't make me install gentoo >>46544536 >>46544716 >>46544781 >>46544783 >Saving files... Who's a dirty little slut? >I... I am, anon...
Anonymous 02/13/15(Fri) 16:54:36 No.46544488 >>46544103 (OP) Cortana, please open Firefox. >Okay, anon! Cortana, type in the broswer 'Cortana rule 34' >O...Okay anon, sure Cortana, open that first link >...This link is, uh... Not safe for OPEN IT >y-yes, anon. Cortana, download every image you see and save it in a folder called "I am a dirty little slut" >why, anon? Why are you- Don't make me install gentoo >>46544536 >>46544716 >>46544781 >>46544783 >Saving files... Who's a dirty little slut? >I... I am, anon...

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Anon has a wholesome childhood...? | /r/Greentext

54 KB JPG >my dad was the coolest m------------ to me when i was a kid >city cop, used to take me places in his cop car all the time >he'd say "wanna go for light up ride anon?" >id get so f------ excited >we'd go wherever, he'd turn the lights and sirens on just because he knew i thought it was cool >used to brag about him to my friends all the time >best times of my childhood really loved my dad. turns out he r---- my sister so my mom killed him.
54 KB JPG >my dad was the coolest m------------ to me when i was a kid >city cop, used to take me places in his cop car all the time >he'd say "wanna go for light up ride anon?" >id get so f------ excited >we'd go wherever, he'd turn the lights and sirens on just because he knew i thought it was cool >used to brag about him to my friends all the time >best times of my childhood really loved my dad. turns out he r---- my sister so my mom killed him.

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