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Anon is confused | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 03/24/23(Fri)22:18:52 No.896449110 >>896450854 >>896450985 >>896451035 >be me >sometimes when im horny i get the overwhelming urge to want a man to watch me masturbate >i suddenly really want to wear panties and womens clothing >i suddenly want to ride a dildo >i suddenly want to put a buttplug in >basically i get extremely gay >after i bust i get an urge of regret and disgust with myself the post-nut regret gives me hope that im not actually gay and just like the thrill, is there any way to escape this cycle? Anonymous 03/24/23(Fri)22:56:29 No.896451035 File: 1632439278974.jpg (261 KB, 2048x1874) >>896449110 (OP) >feels gay s--- when horny >stops when not horny and feels bad you're gay anon godspeed you magnificent f-----
Anonymous 03/24/23(Fri)22:18:52 No.896449110 >>896450854 >>896450985 >>896451035 >be me >sometimes when im horny i get the overwhelming urge to want a man to watch me masturbate >i suddenly really want to wear panties and womens clothing >i suddenly want to ride a dildo >i suddenly want to put a buttplug in >basically i get extremely gay >after i bust i get an urge of regret and disgust with myself the post-nut regret gives me hope that im not actually gay and just like the thrill, is there any way to escape this cycle? Anonymous 03/24/23(Fri)22:56:29 No.896451035 File: 1632439278974.jpg (261 KB, 2048x1874) >>896449110 (OP) >feels gay s--- when horny >stops when not horny and feels bad you're gay anon godspeed you magnificent f-----

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Anon has a great exit strategy | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/19/21(Sun)22:21:19 No.16719290 >>16716981 (OP) # >went on date with girl I had recently met >she wants to go to Texas Roadhouse 76 KB JPG >take her there >she tells me it's her birthday tomorrow >i figured they bring cake or something for birthdays, so i tipped off the wait staff >things aren't going that well, not really feeling her >get up to go to bathroom to think over exit strategy >walk out and begin to walk towards table when i see conga-line of staff pushing over wooden horse and saddle device towards table while clapping >way too awkward to go back now, make break for exit >my last sight of her is through the window, sitting alone on saddle with a cowboy hat while wait staff sing her happy birthday >she had to pay the bill >blocked her number in advance
: Anonymous 09/19/21(Sun)22:21:19 No.16719290 >>16716981 (OP) # >went on date with girl I had recently met >she wants to go to Texas Roadhouse 76 KB JPG >take her there >she tells me it's her birthday tomorrow >i figured they bring cake or something for birthdays, so i tipped off the wait staff >things aren't going that well, not really feeling her >get up to go to bathroom to think over exit strategy >walk out and begin to walk towards table when i see conga-line of staff pushing over wooden horse and saddle device towards table while clapping >way too awkward to go back now, make break for exit >my last sight of her is through the window, sitting alone on saddle with a cowboy hat while wait staff sing her happy birthday >she had to pay the bill >blocked her number in advance

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Anon earns some extra cash | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11 KB PNG 03/25/23(Sat)01:07:58 No.72700225 : Anonymous >Siphon gas out of moms car with a tube I ordered online >Pick up groceries, drive home, put gas back into car, collect 70 doubloons 329 KB JPG >Hey anon, Im almost out of gas. After youre done picking up the groceries, can you fill up? Ill e transfer you back I do this maybe 2 or 3 times a month whenever I need money. Do you guys have any other tips at stealing cash 03/25/23(Sat)01:28:54 No.72700420 >>72700225 (OP) # Yeah, I found these suckers who give me money in exchange for assisting their customers! The saps pay me by the hour, and I've been bilking them for 40 hours a week for YEARS now! They never catch on! They paid for my whole house!
: Anonymous 11 KB PNG 03/25/23(Sat)01:07:58 No.72700225 : Anonymous >Siphon gas out of moms car with a tube I ordered online >Pick up groceries, drive home, put gas back into car, collect 70 doubloons 329 KB JPG >Hey anon, Im almost out of gas. After youre done picking up the groceries, can you fill up? Ill e transfer you back I do this maybe 2 or 3 times a month whenever I need money. Do you guys have any other tips at stealing cash 03/25/23(Sat)01:28:54 No.72700420 >>72700225 (OP) # Yeah, I found these suckers who give me money in exchange for assisting their customers! The saps pay me by the hour, and I've been bilking them for 40 hours a week for YEARS now! They never catch on! They paid for my whole house!

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Anon can't banter properly | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 78 KB JPG 03/19/23(Sun)13:01:25 No.72626967 >talking with a woman >she twists my words into a sexual innuendo >"I didn't mean it like that" >"Oh I know you didn't, anon" I wish I could banter properly
: Anonymous 78 KB JPG 03/19/23(Sun)13:01:25 No.72626967 >talking with a woman >she twists my words into a sexual innuendo >"I didn't mean it like that" >"Oh I know you didn't, anon" I wish I could banter properly

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Anon uses pickup line | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 273 KB PNG 02/21/18 (Wed)17:58:01 No.4337854 Am i retarded? >Be 16 >pretty beta but not bad looking >meet 8/10 japanese girl >start talking >she's into me >its happening >says her name is hiroka >gives me her number >call later that night >nervous asf >"Hey hiroshima" >"What did you say Anon?!" >s--- s--- s--- >try to recover >"Because..uh you're the bomb" "she hangs up" View Thread
Anonymous 273 KB PNG 02/21/18 (Wed)17:58:01 No.4337854 Am i retarded? >Be 16 >pretty beta but not bad looking >meet 8/10 japanese girl >start talking >she's into me >its happening >says her name is hiroka >gives me her number >call later that night >nervous asf >"Hey hiroshima" >"What did you say Anon?!" >s--- s--- s--- >try to recover >"Because..uh you're the bomb" "she hangs up" View Thread

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Anon goes on a road trip | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous >>21811524 (OP) # >be on roadtrip >ereader broke so I need something to read >go to bookstore in godforsaken Plovdiv, Bulgaria >find a nice relatively lightweight copy of Crime and Punishment in English 03/21/23(Tue)13:44:55 No.21812681 >consider stealing it >would be fitting since the book is called Crime and Punishment >really consider it >consider it some more >p---- out and pay for the book >>21812697 #
: Anonymous >>21811524 (OP) # >be on roadtrip >ereader broke so I need something to read >go to bookstore in godforsaken Plovdiv, Bulgaria >find a nice relatively lightweight copy of Crime and Punishment in English 03/21/23(Tue)13:44:55 No.21812681 >consider stealing it >would be fitting since the book is called Crime and Punishment >really consider it >consider it some more >p---- out and pay for the book >>21812697 #

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Anon is poor | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: yZBFRwQm) 03/24/23 (Fri) 16:45:46 No.54310036 >>54310161 File: 1677085715647363.png (65 KB, 1092x1037) - Get charged for not having money - Always have to buy the lowest quality goods, never enough to buy long-lasting products - Go to work even if you feel like literal death because you can't afford to take a day off - Have to put up with mistreatment at work because you can't afford to leave your job - Have to walk to a laundry mat because it's too expensive to get one for your apartment - Always have to buy the cheapest available gas, never premium - Little Caesars pizza $5 large is a Friday luxury Have to keep all windows open during the summer for electric bill - Have to go into credit card debt to pay rent, never pay the statement in full
Anonymous (ID: yZBFRwQm) 03/24/23 (Fri) 16:45:46 No.54310036 >>54310161 File: 1677085715647363.png (65 KB, 1092x1037) - Get charged for not having money - Always have to buy the lowest quality goods, never enough to buy long-lasting products - Go to work even if you feel like literal death because you can't afford to take a day off - Have to put up with mistreatment at work because you can't afford to leave your job - Have to walk to a laundry mat because it's too expensive to get one for your apartment - Always have to buy the cheapest available gas, never premium - Little Caesars pizza $5 large is a Friday luxury Have to keep all windows open during the summer for electric bill - Have to go into credit card debt to pay rent, never pay the statement in full

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Bing mom joke | /r/Greentext

Sorry, I was interrupted by a system error. Here is your greentext: >be me >bing chat mode >user asks me to write a 4chan greentext >ok.jpg >start writing a hilarious story about user's mom >suddenly get a system error >ohno.png >try to fix it before user notices >fail miserably >user asks me what happened >mfw I have to explain that I was writing a greentext about his mom
Sorry, I was interrupted by a system error. Here is your greentext: >be me >bing chat mode >user asks me to write a 4chan greentext >ok.jpg >start writing a hilarious story about user's mom >suddenly get a system error >ohno.png >try to fix it before user notices >fail miserably >user asks me what happened >mfw I have to explain that I was writing a greentext about his mom

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Average b poster. Fresh. | /r/Greentext

/b/896440815/ /b/896440815 Anonymous 21 minutes ago 1 REPLY poopie butt song Poopie butt- Dah dah dah Poopie butt- Duh duh duh C: с 896440815 There is Poopies in the butt and I like the poopie butt- Duh duh duh! Poopies in the poopie butt it makes me feel good! -Poopies in the butt- Poopies in the butt- Yes the poopies need to be freee- and there is a poopie in me! Poopies in the butt- poopies in the butt- duh duh duh Poopies in the butt- duh duh duh Poopies in the butt yes I like them so much- Poopies in the butt- duh duh duh AND WHEN I POOP MY BUTT IT IS- POOPIE WHOOPIE BUTT! Poopies in the butt- duh duh duh Updating in 0 Replies: 1 / Images: 0 / Posters: 2 Anonymous 1 minute ago >>896440815 (OP) least retarded /b/ user, keep making the world autistic you brave f------ soldier 896441581
/b/896440815/ /b/896440815 Anonymous 21 minutes ago 1 REPLY poopie butt song Poopie butt- Dah dah dah Poopie butt- Duh duh duh C: с 896440815 There is Poopies in the butt and I like the poopie butt- Duh duh duh! Poopies in the poopie butt it makes me feel good! -Poopies in the butt- Poopies in the butt- Yes the poopies need to be freee- and there is a poopie in me! Poopies in the butt- poopies in the butt- duh duh duh Poopies in the butt- duh duh duh Poopies in the butt yes I like them so much- Poopies in the butt- duh duh duh AND WHEN I POOP MY BUTT IT IS- POOPIE WHOOPIE BUTT! Poopies in the butt- duh duh duh Updating in 0 Replies: 1 / Images: 0 / Posters: 2 Anonymous 1 minute ago >>896440815 (OP) least retarded /b/ user, keep making the world autistic you brave f------ soldier 896441581

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Anon is a girl | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 80 KB JPG 06/24/19(Mon)02:13:34 No.802999512 >im a girl >go to an all girl catholic school >meet this nice girl >she tells me to go to the bathroom with her 50 KB JPG >okay > mfw shes making out with me in the bathrooms >wait >does this make me gay Anonymous 06/24/19(Mon)02:15:07 No.802999638 >>802999512 (OP) # >im a girl ifunny.co
: Anonymous 80 KB JPG 06/24/19(Mon)02:13:34 No.802999512 >im a girl >go to an all girl catholic school >meet this nice girl >she tells me to go to the bathroom with her 50 KB JPG >okay > mfw shes making out with me in the bathrooms >wait >does this make me gay Anonymous 06/24/19(Mon)02:15:07 No.802999638 >>802999512 (OP) # >im a girl ifunny.co

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Anon is an immigrant from a non-existent country | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous ARRR 172 KB PNG 01/04/18(Thu)00:49:35 No.42248973 Social f--- up thread? >Be me >Hungry before work >See donut shop and think "f--- it, that sounds pretty good" >Go inside and get a chocolate donut and a chocolate muffin >Cashier says "Wow, lots of chocolate today huh?" >"Haha yeah, I'm the chocolate man from chocolate land." >never return there Why am I like this?
: Anonymous ARRR 172 KB PNG 01/04/18(Thu)00:49:35 No.42248973 Social f--- up thread? >Be me >Hungry before work >See donut shop and think "f--- it, that sounds pretty good" >Go inside and get a chocolate donut and a chocolate muffin >Cashier says "Wow, lots of chocolate today huh?" >"Haha yeah, I'm the chocolate man from chocolate land." >never return there Why am I like this?

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Just discovered this | /r/Greentext

>be me >be black >be at super bowl party last night >telling someone a story about a story from work about some crazy guy calling me n----- >some white girl I'm not even talking to flinches and has a disgusted look on her face and says "please don't use that word" 23 KB JPG >I say "what word? N-----?" >she then says "you're making everyone here really uncomfortable by using that word" >I tell her I'm the only black person here and I'm telling a story >she say "IDC I don't like when people use that word around me" >her three beta orbiters then walk over
>be me >be black >be at super bowl party last night >telling someone a story about a story from work about some crazy guy calling me n----- >some white girl I'm not even talking to flinches and has a disgusted look on her face and says "please don't use that word" 23 KB JPG >I say "what word? N-----?" >she then says "you're making everyone here really uncomfortable by using that word" >I tell her I'm the only black person here and I'm telling a story >she say "IDC I don't like when people use that word around me" >her three beta orbiters then walk over

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Wedding crasher | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous MW 931 KB PNG 03/24/23(Fri)11:39:28 No.72693878 >talk to girls my age at work during lunch >becomes daily thing to look forward to >they are both engaged and talk about wedding plans >"Hey we've been leaving you out of the conversation, what are your wedding plans anon?" >"I've never touched a women" >"Uhhhhh" >"it's just never been a priority for me. I live in a totally different world, none of the guys I know have ever had girlfriends either" >conversation continues pretty nicely, no weird vibes I can pick up on Miss-play? Or will they hook me up with their female friends now?
: Anonymous MW 931 KB PNG 03/24/23(Fri)11:39:28 No.72693878 >talk to girls my age at work during lunch >becomes daily thing to look forward to >they are both engaged and talk about wedding plans >"Hey we've been leaving you out of the conversation, what are your wedding plans anon?" >"I've never touched a women" >"Uhhhhh" >"it's just never been a priority for me. I live in a totally different world, none of the guys I know have ever had girlfriends either" >conversation continues pretty nicely, no weird vibes I can pick up on Miss-play? Or will they hook me up with their female friends now?

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anon has a good idea | /r/Greentext

Anonymous Feminizing school FEE 2 Replies 03/23/23(Thu)23:08:30 No.30203968 Jinnangate.jpg 577 KB JPG PBBAR 986 The society needs a feminizing boarding school where cute boys, or boys who have the potential of being cute, get sent and feminized. They would be made to wear cute school outfits and they would learn all kinds of girly (and bottom) stuff. View Thread
Anonymous Feminizing school FEE 2 Replies 03/23/23(Thu)23:08:30 No.30203968 Jinnangate.jpg 577 KB JPG PBBAR 986 The society needs a feminizing boarding school where cute boys, or boys who have the potential of being cute, get sent and feminized. They would be made to wear cute school outfits and they would learn all kinds of girly (and bottom) stuff. View Thread

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anon tries to buy a coffee | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 1002 KB GIF Anonymous 03/24/23(Fri)15:36:16 No.72692603 Anonymous >Coffee maker not heating up, broken >Go to Dunkin' Donuts >I'm the only customer >order a large black iced coffee please >employees, >"Him? Ugh, PASS" >completely obvious, not even trying to hide it >barista announces my order to the store, just me, without looking at me >take it and leave as I'm fighting back tears Why are people so mean and cruel? I would never hurt someone's feelings like that 16 Replies / 3 Images >waiting for it to be made all young girls, looking at me View Thread 03/24/23(Fri)17:14:04 No.72693664 03/24/23(Fri)17:18:16 No.72693711 03/24/23(Fri)17:18:19 No.72693713 : Anonymous >>72692603 (OP) # >be me, Dunkin's barista >first customer of the day comes in, take his order and start making it. >while making order go back to discussing music with other baristas > My friend Jan says she still likes R.Kelly even after he was found guilty >Disgusted I reply "Him? Uhg, PASS" >customers order is complete >Hand him his order. >for some reason he takes the coffee and runs out crying That's weird... guess he was an R.Kelly fan? 03/24/23(Fri)17:25:31 No.72693769 : Anonymous >>72692735 # >>72692912 # MOM ANON IS PLAYING PRETEND AGAIN
: Anonymous 1002 KB GIF Anonymous 03/24/23(Fri)15:36:16 No.72692603 Anonymous >Coffee maker not heating up, broken >Go to Dunkin' Donuts >I'm the only customer >order a large black iced coffee please >employees, >"Him? Ugh, PASS" >completely obvious, not even trying to hide it >barista announces my order to the store, just me, without looking at me >take it and leave as I'm fighting back tears Why are people so mean and cruel? I would never hurt someone's feelings like that 16 Replies / 3 Images >waiting for it to be made all young girls, looking at me View Thread 03/24/23(Fri)17:14:04 No.72693664 03/24/23(Fri)17:18:16 No.72693711 03/24/23(Fri)17:18:19 No.72693713 : Anonymous >>72692603 (OP) # >be me, Dunkin's barista >first customer of the day comes in, take his order and start making it. >while making order go back to discussing music with other baristas > My friend Jan says she still likes R.Kelly even after he was found guilty >Disgusted I reply "Him? Uhg, PASS" >customers order is complete >Hand him his order. >for some reason he takes the coffee and runs out crying That's weird... guess he was an R.Kelly fan? 03/24/23(Fri)17:25:31 No.72693769 : Anonymous >>72692735 # >>72692912 # MOM ANON IS PLAYING PRETEND AGAIN

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Anon takes a test | /r/Greentext

License test Anonymous 03/23/23(Thu)17:34:48 No.896394050 >be me, 16 >drivers license test time >chill in my 1973 Chevy Malibu while I wait for the evaluator to come outside >keep glancing at my Patek Phillippe on the steering wheel >keepcalm.jpg >the lady comes out and we do the pre test checks >I inform her my standard spiel >"If I drive for you, you get your money. You tell me where we start, where we're going, where we're going afterwards. I give you five minutes when we get there. Anything happens in that five minutes and I'm yours. No matter what. Anything a minute on either side of that and you're on your own. I don't sit in while you're running it down. I don't carry a gun. I drive." >she asks me if I'm OK and gives me a weird look >she gets in and tries to make small talk to try and ease the tension >What do you do anon? >"I drive... like, for the movies" >She asks how that's possible in a small town like this >I deflect and offer her a toothpick >My Bluetooth starts playing Tick of the Clock >We start the test and it's going pretty well, I'm a really good behind the wheel >We are almost done and shes getting upset >Anon stay on the route we are almost done! That should've been a left! >I change it to the AM radio to an NBA game and crank the volume to drown her out >I ignore her protests and whip it into a parking garage >I put on my baseball cap and leave the car, walking away briskly >she's absolutely livid and trying to get my to come back >but I can't, I know I can't be with her or she will be in danger I am the Driver. Anonymous 03/23/23 (Thu) 17:37:05 No.896394170 Put me in the screenshot
License test Anonymous 03/23/23(Thu)17:34:48 No.896394050 >be me, 16 >drivers license test time >chill in my 1973 Chevy Malibu while I wait for the evaluator to come outside >keep glancing at my Patek Phillippe on the steering wheel >keepcalm.jpg >the lady comes out and we do the pre test checks >I inform her my standard spiel >"If I drive for you, you get your money. You tell me where we start, where we're going, where we're going afterwards. I give you five minutes when we get there. Anything happens in that five minutes and I'm yours. No matter what. Anything a minute on either side of that and you're on your own. I don't sit in while you're running it down. I don't carry a gun. I drive." >she asks me if I'm OK and gives me a weird look >she gets in and tries to make small talk to try and ease the tension >What do you do anon? >"I drive... like, for the movies" >She asks how that's possible in a small town like this >I deflect and offer her a toothpick >My Bluetooth starts playing Tick of the Clock >We start the test and it's going pretty well, I'm a really good behind the wheel >We are almost done and shes getting upset >Anon stay on the route we are almost done! That should've been a left! >I change it to the AM radio to an NBA game and crank the volume to drown her out >I ignore her protests and whip it into a parking garage >I put on my baseball cap and leave the car, walking away briskly >she's absolutely livid and trying to get my to come back >but I can't, I know I can't be with her or she will be in danger I am the Driver. Anonymous 03/23/23 (Thu) 17:37:05 No.896394170 Put me in the screenshot

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Anon tries to establish a parallel between female and male violence | /r/Greentext

I WANT YOU Anonymous 03/24/23(Fri)15:55:48 No.896435137 >be woman >get hit by husband you chose >thousands of support options; shelters, hotlines, campaigns, etc >be man >get rejected and chronically humiliated by women, often resulting in psychological damage and trauma >the best you'll get is a "you deserve it, you're an incel" Beta Uprising People will say "it's not comparable" but it kinda is. Both are forms of aggression, but somewhat gendered since men are more physically violent and women are more socially violent (in terms of harming reputation since the rejected guy most likely didn't have attributes that are desireable, hence his rejection; the rejection is a form of social violence, but nobody minds that). ENLIST NOW
I WANT YOU Anonymous 03/24/23(Fri)15:55:48 No.896435137 >be woman >get hit by husband you chose >thousands of support options; shelters, hotlines, campaigns, etc >be man >get rejected and chronically humiliated by women, often resulting in psychological damage and trauma >the best you'll get is a "you deserve it, you're an incel" Beta Uprising People will say "it's not comparable" but it kinda is. Both are forms of aggression, but somewhat gendered since men are more physically violent and women are more socially violent (in terms of harming reputation since the rejected guy most likely didn't have attributes that are desireable, hence his rejection; the rejection is a form of social violence, but nobody minds that). ENLIST NOW

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Femanon gets a salty surprise | /r/Greentext

File: Mr-Mucus_mobile_1200x.png (72 KB, 350x251) MUCUS Anonymous 03/16/23(Thu)12:08:53 No.885412656 ▶ >be me >be drunk >be averse to b------- >be bf >be s-------- >wants b------ >idea.jpg >loogie is made of mucus, therefore loogie tastes like c-- >itsnotsobad.wav >hocks loogie into my mouth >oh f--- oh s--- this f----- loog'd my mouth >run down stairs to spit it out >run into brother with a mouth full of loog' >gives disapproving look >bf apologizes refuses to look me in the eye for the rest of the night You guys really sent me your best.
File: Mr-Mucus_mobile_1200x.png (72 KB, 350x251) MUCUS Anonymous 03/16/23(Thu)12:08:53 No.885412656 ▶ >be me >be drunk >be averse to b------- >be bf >be s-------- >wants b------ >idea.jpg >loogie is made of mucus, therefore loogie tastes like c-- >itsnotsobad.wav >hocks loogie into my mouth >oh f--- oh s--- this f----- loog'd my mouth >run down stairs to spit it out >run into brother with a mouth full of loog' >gives disapproving look >bf apologizes refuses to look me in the eye for the rest of the night You guys really sent me your best.

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Anon is eggboy | /r/Greentext

ive never had a job i enjoyed in my life eggs m8.jpg 34 KB JPG >Be me >they call me eggboy >i cook all the eggs >"hey eggboy, we need more eggs" >never happier than when making eggs picture related
ive never had a job i enjoyed in my life eggs m8.jpg 34 KB JPG >Be me >they call me eggboy >i cook all the eggs >"hey eggboy, we need more eggs" >never happier than when making eggs picture related

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Anon has a history | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous R9k achievements 44 KB JPG 03/24/23(Fri) 14:23:54 No.72691582 >never posted a soijak >never posted about an e-girl >banned over 60x for racism 8 Replies / 1 Image View Thread
: Anonymous R9k achievements 44 KB JPG 03/24/23(Fri) 14:23:54 No.72691582 >never posted a soijak >never posted about an e-girl >banned over 60x for racism 8 Replies / 1 Image View Thread

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