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anon needs to go out. | /r/Greentext

>mom recently bought a UV light to detect cumstains in my underwear and socks >can't fap into the shower because that would clog it >can only acquire tissues through mom, not allowed packs of my own 164 KB PNG >mom carefully documents each tissue I use in an excel table, and for what purpose
>mom recently bought a UV light to detect cumstains in my underwear and socks >can't fap into the shower because that would clog it >can only acquire tissues through mom, not allowed packs of my own 164 KB PNG >mom carefully documents each tissue I use in an excel table, and for what purpose

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Anon goes to a burger place | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 10 KB JPG >go to burger place >look at menu 07/22/23(Sat)20:52:28 No.903075793 >they have the impossible burger >it's $2 more than everything else on the menu >also tastes worse It's like they don't even want people to be vegetarian. 19 Replies / 5 Images View Thread
Anonymous 10 KB JPG >go to burger place >look at menu 07/22/23(Sat)20:52:28 No.903075793 >they have the impossible burger >it's $2 more than everything else on the menu >also tastes worse It's like they don't even want people to be vegetarian. 19 Replies / 5 Images View Thread

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Ukrainian anon on chuds | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/29/23(Sat)20:46:50 No.18266777 pol-turds.png 1.71 MB PNG 5031 >I consider myself a white supremacist, therefore I want America and Europe to burn in an atomic fire >I sincerely hate the left, therefore I shill for the communist dictatorships in China and North Korea >I believe that muslims flooding Europe is a disaster, therefore I want Europeans and White people in general to convert to islam >I hate my country because it is a globalist multicultural empire, therefore I shill for enemy globalist multicultural empires >I think that my state oppresses me, therefore I want to be literally the property of some fat inbred parasite >I hate technological progress and degeneracy, therefore I every day use the Internet to watch Japanese p--- cartoons and shitpost on this board >I am proud that White people built the modern world and high-tech civilization, therefore I want us all to roll back to the Middle Ages >I am a real Nazi, and therefore I am shilling against the Ukrainian nationalist battalions fighting russian goblins. And my favorite: >I hate lgbt, therefore I want to have sex with that guy in a wig and a skirt
: Anonymous 07/29/23(Sat)20:46:50 No.18266777 pol-turds.png 1.71 MB PNG 5031 >I consider myself a white supremacist, therefore I want America and Europe to burn in an atomic fire >I sincerely hate the left, therefore I shill for the communist dictatorships in China and North Korea >I believe that muslims flooding Europe is a disaster, therefore I want Europeans and White people in general to convert to islam >I hate my country because it is a globalist multicultural empire, therefore I shill for enemy globalist multicultural empires >I think that my state oppresses me, therefore I want to be literally the property of some fat inbred parasite >I hate technological progress and degeneracy, therefore I every day use the Internet to watch Japanese p--- cartoons and shitpost on this board >I am proud that White people built the modern world and high-tech civilization, therefore I want us all to roll back to the Middle Ages >I am a real Nazi, and therefore I am shilling against the Ukrainian nationalist battalions fighting russian goblins. And my favorite: >I hate lgbt, therefore I want to have sex with that guy in a wig and a skirt

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Mexican anon is not hopeful about his country | /r/Greentext

File: sddefault.jpg (69 KB, 640x480) Mexico is really f----- Horny b----- (ID: dBmolUt5) [+ 07/27/23(Thu)21:36:48 No.436022015 || >>436022538 >>436022580 >>436022687 >>436023015 >>436023410 >>436023606 >>436023829 >>436024726 >>436025318 >>436025359 >>436025736 >>436025969 >>436026126 >>436026545 >>436026954 >>436027127 >>436027246 >>436027638 >>436027721 >>436027836 >>436027962 >>436028048 >>436028304 >>436028465 >>436028795 >>436029119 >>436029426 >>436029522 >>436029530 >>436029735 >>436029784 >>436029786 >>436029867 >>436029898 >>436030457 >>436030920 >>436031155 >>436032111 >>436032643 >>436033747 >>436034596 >>436037009 >>436038101 >>436040165 >>436040223 >>436041720 >>436041943 >>436042161 >>436043325 >>436043617 >>436044959 >>436049724 >>436050889 >>436052939 >>436053183 >>436053186 >>436053833 >>436054031 >>436054882 >>436055874 >>436057233 >>436058272 >>436064735 >>436069124 >>436071262 >>436072227 >>436072374 >>436074268 >>436075964 >>436076576 >>436076706 >>436077235 >>436078403 >>436079303 >>436079778 >>436079832 >>436080167 >>436080179 >>436080472 EJERCITO >be me, 24yo mexican >i trained all my youth to be part of the army because i want to make a difference >finally fresh out of uni with the intention of protecting my country >tell my family about it >my two cousins that served call me to meet them >they tell me its going to be the worse mistake of my life >one told me he was gangraped since the day he came, if he resisted he was sedated and beated, he was forced to fight drugged in clandestine boxing matches against soldiers from other states >he wasnt allowed to leave or see his family, the few times he was he was threatened they would kill them and no one would care >one time he resisted r--- and he had his a--- muscle ruptured with a glass bottle, he almost died >went awol one chance he had and stayed hidden for years in the sierra >my other cousin told me how he was forced to stay without food for weeks with just drugs guarding nowhere important, he was forced to secure meetings between army officers and narcos >uncle comes in, heard our conversation and tells me he works as a security for a prison, his watchtower is near the female section and saw police and army taking women from the jail at night into narco cars, they would come back days later with new clothes but clearly traumatized. I kinda just gave up on this country, we need to erradicate the entire army and goverment for s--- to get fixed
File: sddefault.jpg (69 KB, 640x480) Mexico is really f----- Horny b----- (ID: dBmolUt5) [+ 07/27/23(Thu)21:36:48 No.436022015 || >>436022538 >>436022580 >>436022687 >>436023015 >>436023410 >>436023606 >>436023829 >>436024726 >>436025318 >>436025359 >>436025736 >>436025969 >>436026126 >>436026545 >>436026954 >>436027127 >>436027246 >>436027638 >>436027721 >>436027836 >>436027962 >>436028048 >>436028304 >>436028465 >>436028795 >>436029119 >>436029426 >>436029522 >>436029530 >>436029735 >>436029784 >>436029786 >>436029867 >>436029898 >>436030457 >>436030920 >>436031155 >>436032111 >>436032643 >>436033747 >>436034596 >>436037009 >>436038101 >>436040165 >>436040223 >>436041720 >>436041943 >>436042161 >>436043325 >>436043617 >>436044959 >>436049724 >>436050889 >>436052939 >>436053183 >>436053186 >>436053833 >>436054031 >>436054882 >>436055874 >>436057233 >>436058272 >>436064735 >>436069124 >>436071262 >>436072227 >>436072374 >>436074268 >>436075964 >>436076576 >>436076706 >>436077235 >>436078403 >>436079303 >>436079778 >>436079832 >>436080167 >>436080179 >>436080472 EJERCITO >be me, 24yo mexican >i trained all my youth to be part of the army because i want to make a difference >finally fresh out of uni with the intention of protecting my country >tell my family about it >my two cousins that served call me to meet them >they tell me its going to be the worse mistake of my life >one told me he was gangraped since the day he came, if he resisted he was sedated and beated, he was forced to fight drugged in clandestine boxing matches against soldiers from other states >he wasnt allowed to leave or see his family, the few times he was he was threatened they would kill them and no one would care >one time he resisted r--- and he had his a--- muscle ruptured with a glass bottle, he almost died >went awol one chance he had and stayed hidden for years in the sierra >my other cousin told me how he was forced to stay without food for weeks with just drugs guarding nowhere important, he was forced to secure meetings between army officers and narcos >uncle comes in, heard our conversation and tells me he works as a security for a prison, his watchtower is near the female section and saw police and army taking women from the jail at night into narco cars, they would come back days later with new clothes but clearly traumatized. I kinda just gave up on this country, we need to erradicate the entire army and goverment for s--- to get fixed

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Anon enjoy Masturbation more than Sex | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 140 KB PNG 06/15/23(Sat)01:47:30 No.899935439 sex is not worth trust me > be me > 18 > fat virgin > started working out, looksmax > somehow went to club and got 8/10 girl > we went back to her > got nervous > couldnt get erection > I have sensitive penis so when she started blowing me it hurted even more > somehow fingering her > didnt get hard > I felt like we are doing something weird and we shouldnt do that > I didnt even c-- at her place > went home > c-- 4 times while thinking about her Actually sex isnt as good as it looks. I am deeply disgusted and sad. M----------- is better cuz noone is watching and judging your body
Anonymous 140 KB PNG 06/15/23(Sat)01:47:30 No.899935439 sex is not worth trust me > be me > 18 > fat virgin > started working out, looksmax > somehow went to club and got 8/10 girl > we went back to her > got nervous > couldnt get erection > I have sensitive penis so when she started blowing me it hurted even more > somehow fingering her > didnt get hard > I felt like we are doing something weird and we shouldnt do that > I didnt even c-- at her place > went home > c-- 4 times while thinking about her Actually sex isnt as good as it looks. I am deeply disgusted and sad. M----------- is better cuz noone is watching and judging your body

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There is still hope for manlets | /r/Greentext

: not Stormy And Lilith 407 KB JPG 07/29/23(Sat) 14:30:05 No.74199144 Female to "Male" >people stop giving you a constant stream of attention >h-------- men feel THIS lonely? >I am so depressed >Detransition Male to "Female" >people start giving you a constant stream of attention >h-------- Women feel THIS Happy? >I am so euphoric! >Transitions. Is this true? do women just live on easy peasy mode? Should I just transition? Being a manlet incel is lonely...
: not Stormy And Lilith 407 KB JPG 07/29/23(Sat) 14:30:05 No.74199144 Female to "Male" >people stop giving you a constant stream of attention >h-------- men feel THIS lonely? >I am so depressed >Detransition Male to "Female" >people start giving you a constant stream of attention >h-------- Women feel THIS Happy? >I am so euphoric! >Transitions. Is this true? do women just live on easy peasy mode? Should I just transition? Being a manlet incel is lonely...

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God bless America | /r/Greentext

THEY CAN'T KEEP GETTING AWAY WITH IT Anonymous 04/17/22(Sun)18:00:59 No.53100055 >>53100118 >>53100191 >>5310029353100313 53100348 >>53101307 >>53101743 >Russians/Chinese make paper tiger technology and brag about it to the world. >Americans get scared and invest 69 squijullion dollars in hyper advanced tech to one up them >After 4 years of R&D by Lockheed the new Super Ultra Death Machine Mk7 is put into mass production and begins being deployed >Turns out Russian/Chinese tech either never existed in the first place or wasn't nearly as good as they said it was >Your scare tactics just encouraged America to jump 2 f------ tech generations ahead of you >Cycle repeats
THEY CAN'T KEEP GETTING AWAY WITH IT Anonymous 04/17/22(Sun)18:00:59 No.53100055 >>53100118 >>53100191 >>5310029353100313 53100348 >>53101307 >>53101743 >Russians/Chinese make paper tiger technology and brag about it to the world. >Americans get scared and invest 69 squijullion dollars in hyper advanced tech to one up them >After 4 years of R&D by Lockheed the new Super Ultra Death Machine Mk7 is put into mass production and begins being deployed >Turns out Russian/Chinese tech either never existed in the first place or wasn't nearly as good as they said it was >Your scare tactics just encouraged America to jump 2 f------ tech generations ahead of you >Cycle repeats

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Anon finds love | /r/Greentext

69 KB JPEG > me, a 22 year old p--- addict > alone most of my life > meet a gril who shares my hobbies > we watch star trek and play DRG together > moving up in phases > I lose my virginity to her > realise the diference between seeking of momentry plesure of e---------- via p--- and the amazing feeling of passionate sensual love making > realise the difference between lust and love > havent touched p--- in almost 8 months > I love this woman so much I am going to propose soon
69 KB JPEG > me, a 22 year old p--- addict > alone most of my life > meet a gril who shares my hobbies > we watch star trek and play DRG together > moving up in phases > I lose my virginity to her > realise the diference between seeking of momentry plesure of e---------- via p--- and the amazing feeling of passionate sensual love making > realise the difference between lust and love > havent touched p--- in almost 8 months > I love this woman so much I am going to propose soon

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Anon eats Taco Bell | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 115 KB PNG 07/29/23(Sat)16:33:59 No.74201551 >be me in 8th grade >before school eat a hearty breakfast of 12 breakfast wraps from Taco Bell and 6 churros >wash it down with two 32oz Dr peppers >it mends well in my stomach with the taco supreme and 7 chalupas I had for dinner last night >get on the school bus feeling like absolute death >every bump the bus hits feels like i'm going to void my entire gi tract >my heavy deposits of fat in my face and abdomen weigh the Taco Bell down and keep it in for now >get to first period with eight pounds of sugar in my stomach >sit down quickly to hide the bubbling in my belly >uh oh, bad idea >the force of it causes my stomach to give out and it all starts coming >everyone in the class looks over >sticky gelatinous s--- erupts from my ass like a f------ volcano >first one hit is Annabelle who was sitting behind me >poor Annie, she never stood a chance >before she could comprehend what was even happening she instantly drowns in a hell storm of s--- >so do the 15 kids sitting behind me however >school is evacuated and placed on hazmat alert >i'm taken to jail and charged with a--- manslaughter >Taco Bell gets off scot free this is why we need to hold corporations accountable 1 Reply View Thread : Anonymous >>74201551 (OP) # i believe there's a half truth in this story. you're gross op 07/29/23(Sat)16:36:15 No.74201564
Anonymous 115 KB PNG 07/29/23(Sat)16:33:59 No.74201551 >be me in 8th grade >before school eat a hearty breakfast of 12 breakfast wraps from Taco Bell and 6 churros >wash it down with two 32oz Dr peppers >it mends well in my stomach with the taco supreme and 7 chalupas I had for dinner last night >get on the school bus feeling like absolute death >every bump the bus hits feels like i'm going to void my entire gi tract >my heavy deposits of fat in my face and abdomen weigh the Taco Bell down and keep it in for now >get to first period with eight pounds of sugar in my stomach >sit down quickly to hide the bubbling in my belly >uh oh, bad idea >the force of it causes my stomach to give out and it all starts coming >everyone in the class looks over >sticky gelatinous s--- erupts from my ass like a f------ volcano >first one hit is Annabelle who was sitting behind me >poor Annie, she never stood a chance >before she could comprehend what was even happening she instantly drowns in a hell storm of s--- >so do the 15 kids sitting behind me however >school is evacuated and placed on hazmat alert >i'm taken to jail and charged with a--- manslaughter >Taco Bell gets off scot free this is why we need to hold corporations accountable 1 Reply View Thread : Anonymous >>74201551 (OP) # i believe there's a half truth in this story. you're gross op 07/29/23(Sat)16:36:15 No.74201564

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Squat plug is the only option | /r/Greentext

Board /fit/ - Fitness : Anonymous Shat myself at the gym CHFENSAED 98 KB PNG ▼ Settings Mobile Home 07/19/23 (Wed)18:53:34 No.71650853 Well bros, it finally happened >be me today, trying for squat PR >at bottom of the squat, engage every muscle in my legs >also recruit my sphincter for good measure >audibly spray s--- all over the inside of my gym shorts >quickly rerack the bar, waddle to the bathroom and wipe off what I can >drive home and type this Anyone else have experience with this? It wasn't totally unexpected since I had had some close calls in the past, but it's still f------ embarrassing. The way I see it, I have 4 options: 1. Start doing shallow squats instead of deep ones 2. Start wearing a buttplug to leg day 3. Do some kind of sphincter control training (does this exist?) 4. Accept as a fact of life that I will occasionally s--- myself during leg day What do you guys think?
Board /fit/ - Fitness : Anonymous Shat myself at the gym CHFENSAED 98 KB PNG ▼ Settings Mobile Home 07/19/23 (Wed)18:53:34 No.71650853 Well bros, it finally happened >be me today, trying for squat PR >at bottom of the squat, engage every muscle in my legs >also recruit my sphincter for good measure >audibly spray s--- all over the inside of my gym shorts >quickly rerack the bar, waddle to the bathroom and wipe off what I can >drive home and type this Anyone else have experience with this? It wasn't totally unexpected since I had had some close calls in the past, but it's still f------ embarrassing. The way I see it, I have 4 options: 1. Start doing shallow squats instead of deep ones 2. Start wearing a buttplug to leg day 3. Do some kind of sphincter control training (does this exist?) 4. Accept as a fact of life that I will occasionally s--- myself during leg day What do you guys think?

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Anon realises neet beauty | /r/Greentext

gh the Years m Prevalence Rate No. 29465732 27 minutes ago 1685359252269883.png PNG 129.9 KiB 2373x1725 >studied hard >Had a s--- office job but make good money >Have a son with wife >He is sever autist >He is 9yo >Can't talk only makes weird noises >Only play with baby toys >He have to wear diapers because somedays he refuses to go to the bath >Some days he becomes agresive amd destroys the house >He only sleeps 3-4h >No sex with wife (sex drive goes to 0 when you don't sleep a full night for years) >Only fun thing of my life is playing some vidya in the bus to work >Regret not being a comfy happy neet. Want to change situation?
gh the Years m Prevalence Rate No. 29465732 27 minutes ago 1685359252269883.png PNG 129.9 KiB 2373x1725 >studied hard >Had a s--- office job but make good money >Have a son with wife >He is sever autist >He is 9yo >Can't talk only makes weird noises >Only play with baby toys >He have to wear diapers because somedays he refuses to go to the bath >Some days he becomes agresive amd destroys the house >He only sleeps 3-4h >No sex with wife (sex drive goes to 0 when you don't sleep a full night for years) >Only fun thing of my life is playing some vidya in the bus to work >Regret not being a comfy happy neet. Want to change situation?

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Anon lucid dreams | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 151 KB JPG 07/27/18(Fri)00:03:12 No.775484168 Okay, if you want to know the true meaning of autism. Lemme tell you a Lucid Dreaming story. > Be me > Sleeping > in dream > I'm hanging out with my friends at an airport > there's a drink sample stand > me and my friend Ethan both try it I still remember the bitter fizzy taste. > we both drink more of it. > the lady at the stand says > "what the f--- are you doing" > both me and Ethan bolt the f--- out of there. > we magically teleport from the airport to my school yard. > w--.png > I stop running but Ethan continues down a trail that leads to my house > I say out loud > "I'm dreaming, how'd I teleport" > all of the sudden everything goes dark > all that there is is my conscience > I finally f------ lucid dreamed > time to test this baby out > I spawn in a Minecraft world to be funny > everything generates around me > Wake up > mfw > "h--------, with the amount of s--- I can do here. This will be the greatest-" I used all of my f------ brainpower just to think up of a minecraft world. I haven't lucid dreamed 4 months after that.
Anonymous 151 KB JPG 07/27/18(Fri)00:03:12 No.775484168 Okay, if you want to know the true meaning of autism. Lemme tell you a Lucid Dreaming story. > Be me > Sleeping > in dream > I'm hanging out with my friends at an airport > there's a drink sample stand > me and my friend Ethan both try it I still remember the bitter fizzy taste. > we both drink more of it. > the lady at the stand says > "what the f--- are you doing" > both me and Ethan bolt the f--- out of there. > we magically teleport from the airport to my school yard. > w--.png > I stop running but Ethan continues down a trail that leads to my house > I say out loud > "I'm dreaming, how'd I teleport" > all of the sudden everything goes dark > all that there is is my conscience > I finally f------ lucid dreamed > time to test this baby out > I spawn in a Minecraft world to be funny > everything generates around me > Wake up > mfw > "h--------, with the amount of s--- I can do here. This will be the greatest-" I used all of my f------ brainpower just to think up of a minecraft world. I haven't lucid dreamed 4 months after that.

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Anon misses his mum | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/24/23 (Mon)19:50:16 No.645111180 best wife.png 448 KB PNG >playing koikatsu >make a character that looks like my little sister >mom walks into the room without knocking >tell her i'm playing the new sims game >she tells me to make a character that looks like her >make one then change the subject >mom died in a fiery car accident shortly after >still have that character card to this day >>645111324 # >>645111397 # >>645127259 # >>645148540 #
: Anonymous 07/24/23 (Mon)19:50:16 No.645111180 best wife.png 448 KB PNG >playing koikatsu >make a character that looks like my little sister >mom walks into the room without knocking >tell her i'm playing the new sims game >she tells me to make a character that looks like her >make one then change the subject >mom died in a fiery car accident shortly after >still have that character card to this day >>645111324 # >>645111397 # >>645127259 # >>645148540 #

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They do things differently in the South | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous i am no one, i have no desire to be anyone i am simply trying to vibe 526 KB JPG 07/27/23(Thu)21:37:09 No.29451203 >grew up in the South >parents never cared >let me date a 28 y/o guy when I was 14 >state allows marriage before 18 with parent's consent >married him at 16 >19 now and had a baby a year ago >parents don't talk to me anymore >feel like husband has only ever loved me for my body & not my personality >he says s--- like he's glad he got to me before college put liberal ideas in my head >keeps tabs on my online activity because he thinks I'll cheat on him >live so far out in the boondocks that the only person I can socialize with is my baby while my husband is at work >feel like a prisoner in our home because he makes it clear I'm not making the decisions I've thought about leaving but I'm saddled with a baby now and I didn't finish high school. Is it too late for me, or can I still support myself and get out of this? He used to be so sweet and nice to me, but its like once we got married he changed like he'd only been acting to that point
: Anonymous i am no one, i have no desire to be anyone i am simply trying to vibe 526 KB JPG 07/27/23(Thu)21:37:09 No.29451203 >grew up in the South >parents never cared >let me date a 28 y/o guy when I was 14 >state allows marriage before 18 with parent's consent >married him at 16 >19 now and had a baby a year ago >parents don't talk to me anymore >feel like husband has only ever loved me for my body & not my personality >he says s--- like he's glad he got to me before college put liberal ideas in my head >keeps tabs on my online activity because he thinks I'll cheat on him >live so far out in the boondocks that the only person I can socialize with is my baby while my husband is at work >feel like a prisoner in our home because he makes it clear I'm not making the decisions I've thought about leaving but I'm saddled with a baby now and I didn't finish high school. Is it too late for me, or can I still support myself and get out of this? He used to be so sweet and nice to me, but its like once we got married he changed like he'd only been acting to that point

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Anon lost an argument........ | /r/Greentext

>I just lost an argument in my head against a person that doesn't even exist >I even stuttered
>I just lost an argument in my head against a person that doesn't even exist >I even stuttered

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Anon had a dream | /r/Greentext

File: wojak.jpg (5 KB, 180x179) Anonymous 07/29/23(Sat)07:18:32 No.74198314 [Reply] >>74198329 >>74198915 >be me >haven't had a single nightmare since my inception >only some weirdass dreams >go to sleep >it's pitch black at first, but then something shows up >it's a mobile screen >it's on youtube >the search bar is clicked >'squidward execution 1984' is typed >whilst it's being typed, i am bombarded with imagery of squidward being thrown around in the sand, and im being flashed by the classic 'red mist' photo >my heart beat races, i don't know what's going on >for the first time in a while, i am genuinely afraid >wake up sweaty and tired what the actual f---
File: wojak.jpg (5 KB, 180x179) Anonymous 07/29/23(Sat)07:18:32 No.74198314 [Reply] >>74198329 >>74198915 >be me >haven't had a single nightmare since my inception >only some weirdass dreams >go to sleep >it's pitch black at first, but then something shows up >it's a mobile screen >it's on youtube >the search bar is clicked >'squidward execution 1984' is typed >whilst it's being typed, i am bombarded with imagery of squidward being thrown around in the sand, and im being flashed by the classic 'red mist' photo >my heart beat races, i don't know what's going on >for the first time in a while, i am genuinely afraid >wake up sweaty and tired what the actual f---

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Anon had not happy with his grandfather | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 05/06/23 (Mon)20:10:43 No.68563456 >84 year old grandfather tells me that he's joined a message board devoted to discussing cars >based on the way he speaks, he clearly had no idea what a message board was until very recently 117 KB JPG >he shows me some of his post history >he enjoys posting stupid, obviously false and ridiculous information just to see how people reply >he doesn't know the terms shitposting or trolling, so he says "I'm jerkin' their chains!" and scrolls down, busting a gut with laughter as he reads off some of the replies An 84 year old man is an online troll. I am genuinely ashamed to be his grandson. 05/06/23 (Mon)20:10:43 No.68563456 Anonymous >>68563456 (OP) lol sounds like your chain got jerked
Anonymous 05/06/23 (Mon)20:10:43 No.68563456 >84 year old grandfather tells me that he's joined a message board devoted to discussing cars >based on the way he speaks, he clearly had no idea what a message board was until very recently 117 KB JPG >he shows me some of his post history >he enjoys posting stupid, obviously false and ridiculous information just to see how people reply >he doesn't know the terms shitposting or trolling, so he says "I'm jerkin' their chains!" and scrolls down, busting a gut with laughter as he reads off some of the replies An 84 year old man is an online troll. I am genuinely ashamed to be his grandson. 05/06/23 (Mon)20:10:43 No.68563456 Anonymous >>68563456 (OP) lol sounds like your chain got jerked

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Anon has a nightmare | /r/Greentext

File: wojak.jpg (5 KB, 180x179) Anonymous 07/29/23(Sat) 07:18:32 No.74198314 >>74198329 >>74198915 >be me >haven't had a single nightmare since my inception >only some weirdass dreams >go to sleep >it's pitch black at first, but then what the actual f--- something shows up >it's a mobile screen >it's on youtube >the search bar is clicked >'squidward execution 1984' is typed >whilst it's being typed, i am bombarded with imagery of squidward being thrown around in the sand, and im being flashed by the classic 'red mist' photo >my heart beat races, i don't know what's going on >for the first time in a while, i am genuinely afraid >wake up sweaty and tired
File: wojak.jpg (5 KB, 180x179) Anonymous 07/29/23(Sat) 07:18:32 No.74198314 >>74198329 >>74198915 >be me >haven't had a single nightmare since my inception >only some weirdass dreams >go to sleep >it's pitch black at first, but then what the actual f--- something shows up >it's a mobile screen >it's on youtube >the search bar is clicked >'squidward execution 1984' is typed >whilst it's being typed, i am bombarded with imagery of squidward being thrown around in the sand, and im being flashed by the classic 'red mist' photo >my heart beat races, i don't know what's going on >for the first time in a while, i am genuinely afraid >wake up sweaty and tired

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Like discovering fire | /r/Greentext

Anonymous Arthur 07/29/23(Sat)02:13:11 No.645660708 >be me >24 years old >been jacking for years >watch anaconda first time and decide to jack it >do something different 63 KB PNG >mind-splitting orgasm that literally knocks me out >mom wakes me up later with j--- all over me, horrified (live with parents during college) >takes me into the shower and cleans me off whilst asking what happened >told her I was jacking it and didn't stop to grab my tissues from the side table like usual and just jacked through the orgasm >she stops cleaning me off and asks me if I always stop to grab tissues >calls me a dumbass and tells me I've literally always been giving myself "ruined orgasms" my entire boner life >look it up >ruined orgasms are a method of domming a guy by not allowing him to jack it all the way through end and giving him a s----- orgasm mfw had my first actual nut when my mom told me I was literally torturing myself >>645661638 # >>645661702 # >>645661731 # >>645661770 # >>645661843 # >>645662019 # >>645662078 # >>645662698 #
Anonymous Arthur 07/29/23(Sat)02:13:11 No.645660708 >be me >24 years old >been jacking for years >watch anaconda first time and decide to jack it >do something different 63 KB PNG >mind-splitting orgasm that literally knocks me out >mom wakes me up later with j--- all over me, horrified (live with parents during college) >takes me into the shower and cleans me off whilst asking what happened >told her I was jacking it and didn't stop to grab my tissues from the side table like usual and just jacked through the orgasm >she stops cleaning me off and asks me if I always stop to grab tissues >calls me a dumbass and tells me I've literally always been giving myself "ruined orgasms" my entire boner life >look it up >ruined orgasms are a method of domming a guy by not allowing him to jack it all the way through end and giving him a s----- orgasm mfw had my first actual nut when my mom told me I was literally torturing myself >>645661638 # >>645661702 # >>645661731 # >>645661770 # >>645661843 # >>645662019 # >>645662078 # >>645662698 #

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Anon has ED | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 58 KB JPG 07/29/23(Sat)08:04:04 No.74196461 >masturbating for years >felt like magic >cut to present day >lost its magic there's no point in fapping anymore anons. it's all a construct to distract you from doing important s--- in your life. break free. indulge in your true, glorious being. find a way.
: Anonymous 58 KB JPG 07/29/23(Sat)08:04:04 No.74196461 >masturbating for years >felt like magic >cut to present day >lost its magic there's no point in fapping anymore anons. it's all a construct to distract you from doing important s--- in your life. break free. indulge in your true, glorious being. find a way.

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