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Anon raises a future 4chan user | /r/Greentext

>with son (7) in the backyard today >see he's fiddling with something in the grass >"what are you doing carter?" >"playing with a frog!" >walk over >he's ripping all the limbs off what the f--- do I do about this 6 KB JPG
>with son (7) in the backyard today >see he's fiddling with something in the grass >"what are you doing carter?" >"playing with a frog!" >walk over >he's ripping all the limbs off what the f--- do I do about this 6 KB JPG

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anon doesn't like weed | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 07/27/22(Wed)08:43:56 vectorStock No.882778497 135 KB JPG What the f--- is the point of smoking this s---? thirsty >Laugh at s--- that isn't even funny >Too lazy to do anything that requires physical effort >Smoke weed >Immediately get hungry and/or >Get paranoid for no reason >Have to smoke more after 60-90 mins or you're barely high anymore This has got to be the biggest meme "drug" out there. At least with alcohol you feel good and want to do s---, as long as you don't drink too much. The only upside weed has is there is no such thing as smoking too much, because worst that'll happen is you fall asleep. So I guess if you want something "safe", weed makes sense but that's where it ends.
Anonymous 07/27/22(Wed)08:43:56 vectorStock No.882778497 135 KB JPG What the f--- is the point of smoking this s---? thirsty >Laugh at s--- that isn't even funny >Too lazy to do anything that requires physical effort >Smoke weed >Immediately get hungry and/or >Get paranoid for no reason >Have to smoke more after 60-90 mins or you're barely high anymore This has got to be the biggest meme "drug" out there. At least with alcohol you feel good and want to do s---, as long as you don't drink too much. The only upside weed has is there is no such thing as smoking too much, because worst that'll happen is you fall asleep. So I guess if you want something "safe", weed makes sense but that's where it ends.

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anon is hanging out with his friends | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/26/22(Tue) 19:48:10 No.882758454 4B2DB20C-59E1-4390-8631-2DE86A474A46.jpg 103 KB JPG >be me >walking through town with homies >buddy says "Log spotted." >finds hole in log >proceeded to hump it what did he mean by this?
: Anonymous 07/26/22(Tue) 19:48:10 No.882758454 4B2DB20C-59E1-4390-8631-2DE86A474A46.jpg 103 KB JPG >be me >walking through town with homies >buddy says "Log spotted." >finds hole in log >proceeded to hump it what did he mean by this?

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asiannon uses his rice brain | /r/Greentext

File: wisemanoncesaid.jpg (139 KB, 1200x1200) >konnichiwa n-----sans >bad idea but roll with it >mfw they laugh >call me their n---- >start to say hello to everyone like this chinkanon 07/26/22(Tue)23:02:25 No.882776715 ► >be me >asian >full on chink here >decide f--- it, im chink, got nothing to win in life except for bitch wife or twink >go full chink >say konichiwa and use an incredibly racist asian tone >see black people >chink.exe >pretend like i just started speaking english >the look on white womens faces never cease to amaze >black people laugh it off >sometimes people try to correct me but i go >i so sorry i no speak english, random chinese gibberish its so easy to just chink it out and have fun
File: wisemanoncesaid.jpg (139 KB, 1200x1200) >konnichiwa n-----sans >bad idea but roll with it >mfw they laugh >call me their n---- >start to say hello to everyone like this chinkanon 07/26/22(Tue)23:02:25 No.882776715 ► >be me >asian >full on chink here >decide f--- it, im chink, got nothing to win in life except for bitch wife or twink >go full chink >say konichiwa and use an incredibly racist asian tone >see black people >chink.exe >pretend like i just started speaking english >the look on white womens faces never cease to amaze >black people laugh it off >sometimes people try to correct me but i go >i so sorry i no speak english, random chinese gibberish its so easy to just chink it out and have fun

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Anon has a theory | /r/Greentext

File 1325915386.jpg-(119 KB, 425x558) Anonymous 01/07/12(Sat)00:49:46 No.372634533 [Reply] Imagine punching somebody so hard that they turned into a door. Then you found out that's where ALL doors come from, and you got initiated into a murder club that makes doors. The stronger you punch, the better the door. So there are like super strong murderers who punch people into Venetian doors and s--- 5 posts omitted. Click Reply to view.
File 1325915386.jpg-(119 KB, 425x558) Anonymous 01/07/12(Sat)00:49:46 No.372634533 [Reply] Imagine punching somebody so hard that they turned into a door. Then you found out that's where ALL doors come from, and you got initiated into a murder club that makes doors. The stronger you punch, the better the door. So there are like super strong murderers who punch people into Venetian doors and s--- 5 posts omitted. Click Reply to view.

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Anon cares about his tables | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/26/22(Tue)19:27:29 No.882769566 >be me >autist >like wooden tables >really like wooden tables >family has party in my house full of wooden tables >spend the entire time making sure every drunk 55 year old man has a coaster >they keep ignoring the coasters i give them >eventually get p----- and take all the beverages and lock them in the shed 345 KB PNG >shouldve used your coaster drunkie >family and drunkies start complaining about my presence >"shouldve used your coaster if you want to drink. youre going to damage the wood" i tell them >parents demand i give beverages back >refuse >dad takes his belt off >ohfuck.mp3 >think quickly >grab unused coasters as dad chases me >start throwing them like an anime villain throws playing cards >eventually he gets too annoyed to keep chasing me and sits back down like a skyrim enemy when you run away fast enough >drunkies seethe >my wooden tables stay undamaged i am the coaster master, defender of all tables wood
: Anonymous 07/26/22(Tue)19:27:29 No.882769566 >be me >autist >like wooden tables >really like wooden tables >family has party in my house full of wooden tables >spend the entire time making sure every drunk 55 year old man has a coaster >they keep ignoring the coasters i give them >eventually get p----- and take all the beverages and lock them in the shed 345 KB PNG >shouldve used your coaster drunkie >family and drunkies start complaining about my presence >"shouldve used your coaster if you want to drink. youre going to damage the wood" i tell them >parents demand i give beverages back >refuse >dad takes his belt off >ohfuck.mp3 >think quickly >grab unused coasters as dad chases me >start throwing them like an anime villain throws playing cards >eventually he gets too annoyed to keep chasing me and sits back down like a skyrim enemy when you run away fast enough >drunkies seethe >my wooden tables stay undamaged i am the coaster master, defender of all tables wood

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Anon wants to build something | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 392 KB PNG 07/26/22(Tue)19:42:02 No.882761449 >lived together for 4 years with a woman who bailed out the moment I got really sick and out of a job >got my life back on track by myself >no social life but tried to meet new people >goddamn these woman have s--- taste in everything and can't have a proper conversation >I dont wanna just f---, I wanna build something >good wife material have 35+yrs old minimum >the bitch that ditched me regretted it and is trying to be "friends" again >cant forgive that c--- but we have history and she is the best option I have tf I do now
: Anonymous 392 KB PNG 07/26/22(Tue)19:42:02 No.882761449 >lived together for 4 years with a woman who bailed out the moment I got really sick and out of a job >got my life back on track by myself >no social life but tried to meet new people >goddamn these woman have s--- taste in everything and can't have a proper conversation >I dont wanna just f---, I wanna build something >good wife material have 35+yrs old minimum >the bitch that ditched me regretted it and is trying to be "friends" again >cant forgive that c--- but we have history and she is the best option I have tf I do now

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Anon is a collector | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 02/10/17 (Fri) 18:51:56 No.71018690 >have a flag collection >always have different flags hanging 141 KB JPG >last week decided to have a theme of Christian countries >Had the USA, the Vatican, Poland, Brazil and Italy flags >older brother and his girlfriend come to visit >they get my room for some reason, I have to sleep in the bathtub >can hear them through the wall >they are laughing about my 'creepy flags' >they start having sex in my bed >feel angry about that >the wall I am on the other side of is the one with the Vatican flag >shout in a Italian accent >'THISA ISA THE POPE, STOPA HAVING A SEX' >they go silent >hear the door open >brother walks into the bathroom and punches me in the head then goes back >they keep having sex f------ normies
Anonymous 02/10/17 (Fri) 18:51:56 No.71018690 >have a flag collection >always have different flags hanging 141 KB JPG >last week decided to have a theme of Christian countries >Had the USA, the Vatican, Poland, Brazil and Italy flags >older brother and his girlfriend come to visit >they get my room for some reason, I have to sleep in the bathtub >can hear them through the wall >they are laughing about my 'creepy flags' >they start having sex in my bed >feel angry about that >the wall I am on the other side of is the one with the Vatican flag >shout in a Italian accent >'THISA ISA THE POPE, STOPA HAVING A SEX' >they go silent >hear the door open >brother walks into the bathroom and punches me in the head then goes back >they keep having sex f------ normies

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Anons friend is more of an obligation | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 07/26/22(Tue)17:48:13 No.69566696 158 KB JPG weird situation, what would you do? >be disabled >meet disabled girl with same condition but worse in online support group >start talking, we get friendly >she's very depressing has really hard life >I kinda feel sorry for her and listen about her depressing life >she considers me a godsend for listening to her troubles and consoling her >BUT she's a complete misery to talk to, prattles on about extremely miserable s--- nonstop >want to be a good friend and there for her >Our conversations are very one-sided, sometimes it's just me listening for an hour straight >Most the times she never asks about me, just wants to talk about herself >Tried talking to her about this, but it doesn't seem to make a difference >Always tells me I'm her best friend in the world and wouldn't know what to do without me I have a lot of compassion and empathy for this person. but jesus christ. they are the most miserable and boring person I have ever met. I know this is a ultra-specific situation, but what would you do here? I feel like if I just blocked her she would be devastated.
Anonymous 07/26/22(Tue)17:48:13 No.69566696 158 KB JPG weird situation, what would you do? >be disabled >meet disabled girl with same condition but worse in online support group >start talking, we get friendly >she's very depressing has really hard life >I kinda feel sorry for her and listen about her depressing life >she considers me a godsend for listening to her troubles and consoling her >BUT she's a complete misery to talk to, prattles on about extremely miserable s--- nonstop >want to be a good friend and there for her >Our conversations are very one-sided, sometimes it's just me listening for an hour straight >Most the times she never asks about me, just wants to talk about herself >Tried talking to her about this, but it doesn't seem to make a difference >Always tells me I'm her best friend in the world and wouldn't know what to do without me I have a lot of compassion and empathy for this person. but jesus christ. they are the most miserable and boring person I have ever met. I know this is a ultra-specific situation, but what would you do here? I feel like if I just blocked her she would be devastated.

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we are all chuds from anon’s point of view | /r/Greentext

07/21/22(Thu)15:20:30 No.14687077 >formula connects five of the most important numbers in mathematics using four of the most important mathematical operations and relations - addition, multiplication, and equality. exponentiation Absolutely breathtaking. Time to pay your respects chud, say something nice about this formula. Anonymous in + 1 = 0 2 KB PNG 126 Replies / 10 Images View Thread
07/21/22(Thu)15:20:30 No.14687077 >formula connects five of the most important numbers in mathematics using four of the most important mathematical operations and relations - addition, multiplication, and equality. exponentiation Absolutely breathtaking. Time to pay your respects chud, say something nice about this formula. Anonymous in + 1 = 0 2 KB PNG 126 Replies / 10 Images View Thread

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Anon on the grindset | /r/Greentext

File: tumor.jpg (90 KB, 1280x720) >Nopillow >Noalcohol >Reduced internet usage >1 hour meditation each day >Sleep 8 hours a day >Water, milk, and tea only beverages Anything else I'm missing? Anonymous 07/25/22(Mon)00:10:57 No.67712897 >>67714211 >>67714236 >>67714454 >>67714469 >>67715021 >>67718566 >>67718675 >>67718744 >>67718955 >>67718962 >>67728333 >>67728399 >>67730262 >>67733265 >>67733607 >Nofap >Noporn >Cold showers >Nosugar >Novidya Anonymous 07/25/22(Mon)00:13:00 No.67712927 >>67712959 >>67713166 >>67715030 >>6772268 >>67712897 (OP) >Anything else I'm missing? Yeah, having sex, becoming strong, not being a loser, making money. I can go on
File: tumor.jpg (90 KB, 1280x720) >Nopillow >Noalcohol >Reduced internet usage >1 hour meditation each day >Sleep 8 hours a day >Water, milk, and tea only beverages Anything else I'm missing? Anonymous 07/25/22(Mon)00:10:57 No.67712897 >>67714211 >>67714236 >>67714454 >>67714469 >>67715021 >>67718566 >>67718675 >>67718744 >>67718955 >>67718962 >>67728333 >>67728399 >>67730262 >>67733265 >>67733607 >Nofap >Noporn >Cold showers >Nosugar >Novidya Anonymous 07/25/22(Mon)00:13:00 No.67712927 >>67712959 >>67713166 >>67715030 >>6772268 >>67712897 (OP) >Anything else I'm missing? Yeah, having sex, becoming strong, not being a loser, making money. I can go on

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Anon is projecting | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 29 KB JPG 07/27/22(Wed)01:44:58 No.69566637 >roommate told me his childhood cat died today >it's almost midnight and he's been loudly wailing and crying in his room for almost half an hour now W-what do I do bros? Anonymous >>69566637 (OP) # >W-what do I do bros? Cuddle with him and top him 07/27/22(Wed)01:45:48 No.69566656
Anonymous 29 KB JPG 07/27/22(Wed)01:44:58 No.69566637 >roommate told me his childhood cat died today >it's almost midnight and he's been loudly wailing and crying in his room for almost half an hour now W-what do I do bros? Anonymous >>69566637 (OP) # >W-what do I do bros? Cuddle with him and top him 07/27/22(Wed)01:45:48 No.69566656

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Anon interacts with women | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 84 KB JPG 07/27/22(Wed)00:57:54 No.69566026 >Go to a party >Look for some hot chick >She notices and gives me the most uninviting look possible >Start walking towards her >She rolls her eyes and says "Here we go" >l politely ask her to move out of my way and start making out with this enormous fat chick that was behind her this whole time 1 Reply >Finally finds one and start looking at her How many women did you humble today anon? Be the reason she gets plastic surgery View Thread
Anonymous 84 KB JPG 07/27/22(Wed)00:57:54 No.69566026 >Go to a party >Look for some hot chick >She notices and gives me the most uninviting look possible >Start walking towards her >She rolls her eyes and says "Here we go" >l politely ask her to move out of my way and start making out with this enormous fat chick that was behind her this whole time 1 Reply >Finally finds one and start looking at her How many women did you humble today anon? Be the reason she gets plastic surgery View Thread

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Anon uses dating apps | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 22 KB JPG 07/26/22(Tue)09:27:03 No.882730367 >download dating app >pay 20 dollars for a month of unlimited likes >make pretty solid profile and spend a whole day swiping on thousands >confidence is key, I repeat to myself >wake up next morning >one new message >too nervous to open it, my heart pounds and my head gets fuzzy why am I like this
: Anonymous 22 KB JPG 07/26/22(Tue)09:27:03 No.882730367 >download dating app >pay 20 dollars for a month of unlimited likes >make pretty solid profile and spend a whole day swiping on thousands >confidence is key, I repeat to myself >wake up next morning >one new message >too nervous to open it, my heart pounds and my head gets fuzzy why am I like this

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Anon has relationship trouble | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 07/27/22(Wed)01:24:32 No.882753563 >been f------ this older milf for a while >she doesn't look 21 but sure as f--- makes up for it with great personality and insane p---- voodoo >I s--- you not she f---- so well she's gotten me to study italian >she also doesn't mind that I'm stupid as hell, which is a big bonus since girls my age f------ hate that 277 KB JPG >one day I'm at her place, mixing a wine sauce for dinner while she browses through her mail domestic_bliss.exe >she suddenly squeals with enough excitement to almost f------ make me drop the spatula >she tells me her son is getting married, and she can bring a date as a plus one >we both freeze, realising we probably have to decide whether we're serious enough to be a date at an event like that >decide to think it through and not decide just yet >go home the next day, go through my piled-up mail >there's a letter there that looks unusual >it's a wedding invite >my mom had been telling me about talking with a guy, but he has such a common name I figured it's no surprise if he's got the same name as my fb's son. >apparently f------ not, it's the same f------ guy >and an invitation to the same f------ wedding So how much of a problem would it be to continue f------ my stepfather's mom?
Anonymous 07/27/22(Wed)01:24:32 No.882753563 >been f------ this older milf for a while >she doesn't look 21 but sure as f--- makes up for it with great personality and insane p---- voodoo >I s--- you not she f---- so well she's gotten me to study italian >she also doesn't mind that I'm stupid as hell, which is a big bonus since girls my age f------ hate that 277 KB JPG >one day I'm at her place, mixing a wine sauce for dinner while she browses through her mail domestic_bliss.exe >she suddenly squeals with enough excitement to almost f------ make me drop the spatula >she tells me her son is getting married, and she can bring a date as a plus one >we both freeze, realising we probably have to decide whether we're serious enough to be a date at an event like that >decide to think it through and not decide just yet >go home the next day, go through my piled-up mail >there's a letter there that looks unusual >it's a wedding invite >my mom had been telling me about talking with a guy, but he has such a common name I figured it's no surprise if he's got the same name as my fb's son. >apparently f------ not, it's the same f------ guy >and an invitation to the same f------ wedding So how much of a problem would it be to continue f------ my stepfather's mom?

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anon plays cs:go | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 76 KB JPG 07/22/22(Fri)02:01:50 No.69500201 >be me casually smurfing on cs >match found >dont hold back at all >dominate the enemy team >ace after ace >more points than the rest of em combined >one of my teammates opens his mic >its a she "Oh my gosh anon-kun thanks for carrying me" >female detected >procced to throw the game like my life depends on it Unlucky >we end up surrendering >female breaks down crying over the mic saying it was her rank-up game
: Anonymous 76 KB JPG 07/22/22(Fri)02:01:50 No.69500201 >be me casually smurfing on cs >match found >dont hold back at all >dominate the enemy team >ace after ace >more points than the rest of em combined >one of my teammates opens his mic >its a she "Oh my gosh anon-kun thanks for carrying me" >female detected >procced to throw the game like my life depends on it Unlucky >we end up surrendering >female breaks down crying over the mic saying it was her rank-up game

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anon gets pranked | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 2 minutes ago >be 13 >be in my room >twin brother zack comes up 804953734 >grabs my d--- >tells me hes got a wacky plan >jacks me off >mom comes in freaks out on me >mom: "CODY WHAT ARE YOU DOING" >i tell mom not to be mad at zack >tell her zack is just making me feel good >mom starts crying >mom: "ZACK DIED 4 YEARS AGO THERE IS NO ZACK" >look down and its my hand d--- on my d--- >mfw zack got me again with another wacky prank! >live in schizophrenia treatment center >sneak to receptionists computer to tell this story.
Anonymous 2 minutes ago >be 13 >be in my room >twin brother zack comes up 804953734 >grabs my d--- >tells me hes got a wacky plan >jacks me off >mom comes in freaks out on me >mom: "CODY WHAT ARE YOU DOING" >i tell mom not to be mad at zack >tell her zack is just making me feel good >mom starts crying >mom: "ZACK DIED 4 YEARS AGO THERE IS NO ZACK" >look down and its my hand d--- on my d--- >mfw zack got me again with another wacky prank! >live in schizophrenia treatment center >sneak to receptionists computer to tell this story.

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Anon hates his aunt | /r/Greentext

41 KB JPG >go to aunt's house >starts shittalking about my long hair right when we meet at front door >uncle is a cuck he doesn't say anything >keeps saying long hair will suck intelligence out of brain that's why I go to a community college >ignore her until the family gathering dinner >when everyone is eating and chatting she says long hair is for gay people, raising her voice purposely and everyone can hear that >snap >tell her Jesus had long hair too >she's shocked and runs to kitchen crying but not before throwing the angry "how dare you?" with the cuckold uncle I win, I don't care if I go to hell tho
41 KB JPG >go to aunt's house >starts shittalking about my long hair right when we meet at front door >uncle is a cuck he doesn't say anything >keeps saying long hair will suck intelligence out of brain that's why I go to a community college >ignore her until the family gathering dinner >when everyone is eating and chatting she says long hair is for gay people, raising her voice purposely and everyone can hear that >snap >tell her Jesus had long hair too >she's shocked and runs to kitchen crying but not before throwing the angry "how dare you?" with the cuckold uncle I win, I don't care if I go to hell tho

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Catfish gets ghosted | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/26/22(Tue)15:25:04 No.69557028 >>69556277 (OP) # >be me, ugly and fat femanon >in the process of losing weight, but for now I'm still fat 1.67 MB GIF >discord online friends (two guys) been trying to meet me for like half a year. I finally accept nervously. They don't know what I look like. >when we meet, they can't maintain eye contact. After, their replies are more cold and they eventually ghost me. Should never have met them. This is why I just stay in my apartment. When you're this ugly, no one wants to even be friends. >>69557079 # >>69557131 # >>69557231 # >>69558128 # >>69558146 #
: Anonymous 07/26/22(Tue)15:25:04 No.69557028 >>69556277 (OP) # >be me, ugly and fat femanon >in the process of losing weight, but for now I'm still fat 1.67 MB GIF >discord online friends (two guys) been trying to meet me for like half a year. I finally accept nervously. They don't know what I look like. >when we meet, they can't maintain eye contact. After, their replies are more cold and they eventually ghost me. Should never have met them. This is why I just stay in my apartment. When you're this ugly, no one wants to even be friends. >>69557079 # >>69557131 # >>69557231 # >>69558128 # >>69558146 #

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Anon does parenting. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 344 KB PNG 07/26/22(Tue)09:58:47 No.882731812 >put hand on stain >dumbass sons trying to get me to think its some sort of cream from a desert >be me,dad >my retarded ass son is a coomer >really want him to stop >go in room to wish my son good night >see very obvious c-- stain on bed, mustve forgotten to get a rag timetostrike.jpg >say mmmm and lick hands that'll teach that mf not to be a coomer >>882731974 # : Anonymous >>882731812 (OP) # >Better eat my son's c-- to teach him a lesson about masterbation You know you can just hit him, right? >>882732597 # 07/26/22(Tue)10:01:06 No.882731917 : Anonymous >>882731812 (OP) # let me tell you, you trying to prevent your son from masturbating is going to f--- him up far more than masturbating ever will. 07/26/22(Tue) 10:01:35 No.882731946
: Anonymous 344 KB PNG 07/26/22(Tue)09:58:47 No.882731812 >put hand on stain >dumbass sons trying to get me to think its some sort of cream from a desert >be me,dad >my retarded ass son is a coomer >really want him to stop >go in room to wish my son good night >see very obvious c-- stain on bed, mustve forgotten to get a rag timetostrike.jpg >say mmmm and lick hands that'll teach that mf not to be a coomer >>882731974 # : Anonymous >>882731812 (OP) # >Better eat my son's c-- to teach him a lesson about masterbation You know you can just hit him, right? >>882732597 # 07/26/22(Tue)10:01:06 No.882731917 : Anonymous >>882731812 (OP) # let me tell you, you trying to prevent your son from masturbating is going to f--- him up far more than masturbating ever will. 07/26/22(Tue) 10:01:35 No.882731946

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