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American fear the electric water kettle | /r/Greentext

File: external-content.duckduck(.).jpg (283 KB, 2126x2560) O Anonymous 01/29/22(Sat)05:15:44 No.85433161 ► >>85433238 >>85433242 UP >>85433259 >>85433379 >>85433415 >>85433578 >>85433768 >>85433960 >>85436774 >>85436801 >>85436836 >>85436906 >>85438013 >>85438188 >>85441685 >>85442405 >>85442431 >>85442618 >>85442707 >>85443968 >>85444580 This strikes fear into the hearts of Americans. Anonymous 01/29/22(Sat)05:17:10 No.85433179 SHIIES >>85433214 >>85433231 >>85433243 >>85434274 >>85441659 >plastic parts having any contact with boiling water miss me with that s---
File: external-content.duckduck(.).jpg (283 KB, 2126x2560) O Anonymous 01/29/22(Sat)05:15:44 No.85433161 ► >>85433238 >>85433242 UP >>85433259 >>85433379 >>85433415 >>85433578 >>85433768 >>85433960 >>85436774 >>85436801 >>85436836 >>85436906 >>85438013 >>85438188 >>85441685 >>85442405 >>85442431 >>85442618 >>85442707 >>85443968 >>85444580 This strikes fear into the hearts of Americans. Anonymous 01/29/22(Sat)05:17:10 No.85433179 SHIIES >>85433214 >>85433231 >>85433243 >>85434274 >>85441659 >plastic parts having any contact with boiling water miss me with that s---

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Is the horse dead, still? | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/29/22(Sat)10:35:41 No.871640324 >>871629873 (OP) # >antiwork went from a sub wanting to be about getting better working conditions and pay for wagies >devolves into "work is a scam and i should be able to live without having to work!" >Fox News being shills for billionaires has a literal t----- antiwork mod come on for an interview in attempt to smear work reform >t----- mod looks like (s)he hasn't bathed for a week and spills spaghetti entire interview >Fox News anchor literally doesn't do anything because t----- mod sabotages work reform and now everyone thinks people wanting better working conditions and wages is actually a t----- who wants free money
: Anonymous 01/29/22(Sat)10:35:41 No.871640324 >>871629873 (OP) # >antiwork went from a sub wanting to be about getting better working conditions and pay for wagies >devolves into "work is a scam and i should be able to live without having to work!" >Fox News being shills for billionaires has a literal t----- antiwork mod come on for an interview in attempt to smear work reform >t----- mod looks like (s)he hasn't bathed for a week and spills spaghetti entire interview >Fox News anchor literally doesn't do anything because t----- mod sabotages work reform and now everyone thinks people wanting better working conditions and wages is actually a t----- who wants free money

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Anon attempts cooking | /r/Greentext

times you've f----- up? Il begin: >be me >greekfag, 14 yo >went to my uncles place for some PS2 action 15 KB JPG >playing TY the tasmanian tiger >get hungry >idea: ill cook some fries >what could possibly go wrong >put some oil >leave it >go back to playing >remember about it 2 hours later >s--- >this m----------- is hot as s--- >decide to throw in a test potato >grab the potato >keep a good distance away from the oil (genius idea) >three-point shoot that m----------- inside the oil >the potato instantly becomes enough smoke to make me unable to see and hotbox the f------ apartment >oh f---.mp5 >quickly get the oil off heat >mom sees smoke coming out of window >thinks i've burned alive >calls fire department >fire department breaks down door >they see a retarded kid crying next to some potatoes >mfw
times you've f----- up? Il begin: >be me >greekfag, 14 yo >went to my uncles place for some PS2 action 15 KB JPG >playing TY the tasmanian tiger >get hungry >idea: ill cook some fries >what could possibly go wrong >put some oil >leave it >go back to playing >remember about it 2 hours later >s--- >this m----------- is hot as s--- >decide to throw in a test potato >grab the potato >keep a good distance away from the oil (genius idea) >three-point shoot that m----------- inside the oil >the potato instantly becomes enough smoke to make me unable to see and hotbox the f------ apartment >oh f---.mp5 >quickly get the oil off heat >mom sees smoke coming out of window >thinks i've burned alive >calls fire department >fire department breaks down door >they see a retarded kid crying next to some potatoes >mfw

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Perfect way to go | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: CINHW8YS) 06/24/14(Tue)00:32:23 No.552734235 >rent a convertible sports car and a parachute >get your favorite handgun and shoot it in the air around a police station >high speed chase ensues >lead the police into the desert and wait for media choppers >itstime.jpg >tie parachute cord around your neck and throw a brick on the gas >deploy parachute, snapping your neck and simultaniously dragging your lifeless body into the air behind the car >parasail across the desert until your car dies Bonus points if the parachute says Ron Paul 2008 Bonus points if wearing assless fursuit
Anonymous (ID: CINHW8YS) 06/24/14(Tue)00:32:23 No.552734235 >rent a convertible sports car and a parachute >get your favorite handgun and shoot it in the air around a police station >high speed chase ensues >lead the police into the desert and wait for media choppers >itstime.jpg >tie parachute cord around your neck and throw a brick on the gas >deploy parachute, snapping your neck and simultaniously dragging your lifeless body into the air behind the car >parasail across the desert until your car dies Bonus points if the parachute says Ron Paul 2008 Bonus points if wearing assless fursuit

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I’ve got them footage | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/02/21(Tue)18:50:48 No.848679285 >Be me >Poor af >Have wife and 2 children >Wife is sick >No money to get my children education >Have trouble finding jobs >Get dangerous job with a high chance if injury or death 58 KB JPG >Pays well so why not >ffw 1 week >Start operating machine >Get caught inside machine >Struggle for a bit >Machine activates and violently murders me >Limbs flying, blood everywhere >Horribly mangled and mutilated >Security footage gets released >Some redditfag records footage and puts some song over it for internet points >mfw
: Anonymous 03/02/21(Tue)18:50:48 No.848679285 >Be me >Poor af >Have wife and 2 children >Wife is sick >No money to get my children education >Have trouble finding jobs >Get dangerous job with a high chance if injury or death 58 KB JPG >Pays well so why not >ffw 1 week >Start operating machine >Get caught inside machine >Struggle for a bit >Machine activates and violently murders me >Limbs flying, blood everywhere >Horribly mangled and mutilated >Security footage gets released >Some redditfag records footage and puts some song over it for internet points >mfw

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Anon upgrades thier computer. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 01/29/22(Sat)00:41:58 No.871616217 >>871616352 >>871616361 >buy 2tb ssd >plug it in >'1861.85gb avaliable Where the f--- did my other 138.15gb's go?
Anonymous 01/29/22(Sat)00:41:58 No.871616217 >>871616352 >>871616361 >buy 2tb ssd >plug it in >'1861.85gb avaliable Where the f--- did my other 138.15gb's go?

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Well Played Anon | /r/Greentext

O Anonymous 11/13/18(Tue)17:26:01 No.49260677 File: 456876545676.jpg (5 KB, 206x245) posted this some time ago >be me >actually had a female friend >texts me if she can come over >say yes >we chill, eat pizza and watch netflix and talk about stupid s--- and laugh all the time >getting late >she asks if can stay tonight >ok I guess >prepare the couch for her >15 mins after we go to sleep she crawls into the bed >rests her head against my shoulder and comes closer each minute >autsim kicks in >thinks SHE wants to sleep in the bed >get up and sleep on the couch we never talked again after this
O Anonymous 11/13/18(Tue)17:26:01 No.49260677 File: 456876545676.jpg (5 KB, 206x245) posted this some time ago >be me >actually had a female friend >texts me if she can come over >say yes >we chill, eat pizza and watch netflix and talk about stupid s--- and laugh all the time >getting late >she asks if can stay tonight >ok I guess >prepare the couch for her >15 mins after we go to sleep she crawls into the bed >rests her head against my shoulder and comes closer each minute >autsim kicks in >thinks SHE wants to sleep in the bed >get up and sleep on the couch we never talked again after this

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Anon is literate. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/05/18(Mon)23:06:41 No.784179328 >be me 2008 >read the entire warriors book series >go to school >school has a reward type thing for AR reader 204 KB PNG >answer questions about the warriors >get over 800 points >got a snickers bar and a handshake with the principle >fuckyes.png 1 Reply View Thread : Anonymous 11/05/18(Mon)23:12:44 No.784179659 >>784179328 (OP) # I got a gameboy color, suck it loser
: Anonymous 11/05/18(Mon)23:06:41 No.784179328 >be me 2008 >read the entire warriors book series >go to school >school has a reward type thing for AR reader 204 KB PNG >answer questions about the warriors >get over 800 points >got a snickers bar and a handshake with the principle >fuckyes.png 1 Reply View Thread : Anonymous 11/05/18(Mon)23:12:44 No.784179659 >>784179328 (OP) # I got a gameboy color, suck it loser

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Can confirm it works. | /r/Greentext

| Anonymous 05/21/17(Sun)14:36:47 No.733287790 >go on akinator >say yes when asked if your character is a p----star >answer in accordance to what you want your p----star to look like >akinator gives you a hand-picked p----star to fit your preferences akmatur 14 KB JPG >profit
| Anonymous 05/21/17(Sun)14:36:47 No.733287790 >go on akinator >say yes when asked if your character is a p----star >answer in accordance to what you want your p----star to look like >akinator gives you a hand-picked p----star to fit your preferences akmatur 14 KB JPG >profit

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Anon explains taxes | /r/Greentext

>income tax You worked and someone paid you. I'll need to take 30%-50% of that. >sales tax Oh you would like to spend some of the income we let you keep on. goods? I'll have to charge you an extra 5-10% for 58 KB JPG that. >property tax Oh you managed to save up enough money to get yourself a little property? Better than paying rent? Well you will need to fork over a couple thousand for the privilege. >capital gains Oh you invested in a 401k to avoid taxes? While we thank you for putting your money into our financial casino, we will unfortunately have to take 30% of your gains. >inheritance tax You lived a good life anon. You made it to the end. You worked hard and saved some money to give to your kids. Buuuuuut. We will need to take a piece of that too. For the good of society, ya know? RIP anon. At what point did you realize you were merely a tax slave for your government overlords?
>income tax You worked and someone paid you. I'll need to take 30%-50% of that. >sales tax Oh you would like to spend some of the income we let you keep on. goods? I'll have to charge you an extra 5-10% for 58 KB JPG that. >property tax Oh you managed to save up enough money to get yourself a little property? Better than paying rent? Well you will need to fork over a couple thousand for the privilege. >capital gains Oh you invested in a 401k to avoid taxes? While we thank you for putting your money into our financial casino, we will unfortunately have to take 30% of your gains. >inheritance tax You lived a good life anon. You made it to the end. You worked hard and saved some money to give to your kids. Buuuuuut. We will need to take a piece of that too. For the good of society, ya know? RIP anon. At what point did you realize you were merely a tax slave for your government overlords?

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Unlimited privilege | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/30/18(Tue)23:14:15 No.783690431 >black people replace whites as majority in america >blacks lose minority status >whites gain even more privilege through newfound minority protection God I love being white
: Anonymous 10/30/18(Tue)23:14:15 No.783690431 >black people replace whites as majority in america >blacks lose minority status >whites gain even more privilege through newfound minority protection God I love being white

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Anon have a good night | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/21/18(Sun)09:52:33 No.782877833 Wagecuck stories >be me >work at a bar because poor f-- >sitting outside at the door >drunk guy walks by >stops guess l'll die 48 KB JPG >ohfuckherewego.exe >"hey man, you having a good night?" >"yea, I guess." >give me thumbs up >throws up >looks me in the eye >"Yea, well mine is way better than yours f-----." >mfw
: Anonymous 10/21/18(Sun)09:52:33 No.782877833 Wagecuck stories >be me >work at a bar because poor f-- >sitting outside at the door >drunk guy walks by >stops guess l'll die 48 KB JPG >ohfuckherewego.exe >"hey man, you having a good night?" >"yea, I guess." >give me thumbs up >throws up >looks me in the eye >"Yea, well mine is way better than yours f-----." >mfw

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Anon's meeting a girl | /r/Greentext

>be me >16 >school is doing exchange programme >apply and get picked to exchange with a student from norway >on application form ask for male student >all goes well until today i get email from organiser >"there has been a change of plans and we're informing you that a female student will be staying with you" >will have to talk and entertain this girl for a week >severely bad with females >may ruin my life completely i know it sounds like im overreacting boys, but im having a sever autism attack rn. help
>be me >16 >school is doing exchange programme >apply and get picked to exchange with a student from norway >on application form ask for male student >all goes well until today i get email from organiser >"there has been a change of plans and we're informing you that a female student will be staying with you" >will have to talk and entertain this girl for a week >severely bad with females >may ruin my life completely i know it sounds like im overreacting boys, but im having a sever autism attack rn. help

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anon is sus | /r/Greentext

>be me >walking down street >kid wearing a fortnite hoodie comes up to me on a scooter >literally just says "among us?" FORTNITE 97 KB JPG >refuses to elaborate >rides away pic related : Anonymous 01/29/22(Sat)15:24:14 No.67194111 >>67194097 (OP) # Sounds pretty sus op fr fr no cap : Anonymous 01/29/22(Sat)15:24:33 No.67194113 >>67194097 (OP) # >be me >riding scooter down street >see some f----- walking real sus fr fr nocap >say "amogus" >sussy stares blankly back >ride away
>be me >walking down street >kid wearing a fortnite hoodie comes up to me on a scooter >literally just says "among us?" FORTNITE 97 KB JPG >refuses to elaborate >rides away pic related : Anonymous 01/29/22(Sat)15:24:14 No.67194111 >>67194097 (OP) # Sounds pretty sus op fr fr no cap : Anonymous 01/29/22(Sat)15:24:33 No.67194113 >>67194097 (OP) # >be me >riding scooter down street >see some f----- walking real sus fr fr nocap >say "amogus" >sussy stares blankly back >ride away

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Let it go, let it go | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/30/21(Sat)21:05:35 No.62105627 >grow up with cold distant parents >never learn to show affection >have girls be nice to me and try to flirt >ignore them or be rude to them >get girlfriend >go to her house 45 KB JPG >her parents hug and talk >her siblings are social and kind to me >a whole different world >something I never had growing up
: Anonymous 01/30/21(Sat)21:05:35 No.62105627 >grow up with cold distant parents >never learn to show affection >have girls be nice to me and try to flirt >ignore them or be rude to them >get girlfriend >go to her house 45 KB JPG >her parents hug and talk >her siblings are social and kind to me >a whole different world >something I never had growing up

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Anon loves his sister | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/05/18(Fri)11:25:13 No.48517835 >just came home from college >finally weekend so I can sleep for once >little sisters writes me she has fever and is feeling 344 KB PNG unwell >about to take a 300km drive to look after her Do you have anyone or anything you would do everything for?
: Anonymous 10/05/18(Fri)11:25:13 No.48517835 >just came home from college >finally weekend so I can sleep for once >little sisters writes me she has fever and is feeling 344 KB PNG unwell >about to take a 300km drive to look after her Do you have anyone or anything you would do everything for?

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