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Anon is cock blocked by the Power Rangers. | /r/Greentext

□ Anonymous (ID: 7GmqJnrv) 05/18/14(Sun)17:30:37 No.546957436 ► File: But why.png (124 KB, 339x323) >>546957307 >I don't have any condoms.. f---. >"it's ok anon, i don't even f------ care" >I was 16, whatever, let's do this To this day. I do not understand why I did what I did next. >I took my shorts off and she just lifted her skirt and removed her panties >I wanted to think of something cool to say >I remember a guy from Power Rangers that always says "oo ah oo, ima wrek you" >It's always oo ah oo then a rhyme >Try to think of something >"I'm ready anon" >00 AH OO, I'MA F--- YOU IN THE VAGOO >I literally yelled that >yelled >her face when >She looks at me, "what the f--- was that?" >I say I don't know, I just wanted to say something funny >Looks at me as if I'm a complete retard >"umm, I'm gonna go anon, this is weird now. wow" >mfw power rangers c--- blocked me >oh ah oo, i'ma f--- you in the vagoo >mfw
□ Anonymous (ID: 7GmqJnrv) 05/18/14(Sun)17:30:37 No.546957436 ► File: But why.png (124 KB, 339x323) >>546957307 >I don't have any condoms.. f---. >"it's ok anon, i don't even f------ care" >I was 16, whatever, let's do this To this day. I do not understand why I did what I did next. >I took my shorts off and she just lifted her skirt and removed her panties >I wanted to think of something cool to say >I remember a guy from Power Rangers that always says "oo ah oo, ima wrek you" >It's always oo ah oo then a rhyme >Try to think of something >"I'm ready anon" >00 AH OO, I'MA F--- YOU IN THE VAGOO >I literally yelled that >yelled >her face when >She looks at me, "what the f--- was that?" >I say I don't know, I just wanted to say something funny >Looks at me as if I'm a complete retard >"umm, I'm gonna go anon, this is weird now. wow" >mfw power rangers c--- blocked me >oh ah oo, i'ma f--- you in the vagoo >mfw

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Anon discovers the truth | /r/Greentext

Anonymous THIS ISN'T EVEN A BRUN MOMENT WHAT THE ACTUAL F--- IS WRONG WITH YOU 96 KB JPG 11/14/20(Sat)12:13:14 >be me, 19 and living on my own >When I was younger, my mom used to give me this bomb ass cereal all the time, I had really fond memories of us eating it together No.840059309 >I'm at the grocery store and cannot find this god damn cereal, and then I realized that I didn't really know it's name >Call my mom >"Hey mom, I can't find that cereal you used to make all the time, do you know what the name of it was?" >"Oh Anon... I'm so sorry... We didn't have a lot of money" >"Oh that's fine mom! I loved it! Was it store brand or something?" >My mom laughs a little bit but I can tell she was crying some >"Anon... that was dog food" >You best believe I picked up some kibble and milk boys.
Anonymous THIS ISN'T EVEN A BRUN MOMENT WHAT THE ACTUAL F--- IS WRONG WITH YOU 96 KB JPG 11/14/20(Sat)12:13:14 >be me, 19 and living on my own >When I was younger, my mom used to give me this bomb ass cereal all the time, I had really fond memories of us eating it together No.840059309 >I'm at the grocery store and cannot find this god damn cereal, and then I realized that I didn't really know it's name >Call my mom >"Hey mom, I can't find that cereal you used to make all the time, do you know what the name of it was?" >"Oh Anon... I'm so sorry... We didn't have a lot of money" >"Oh that's fine mom! I loved it! Was it store brand or something?" >My mom laughs a little bit but I can tell she was crying some >"Anon... that was dog food" >You best believe I picked up some kibble and milk boys.

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Anon likes to do WHAT?! | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 86 KB JPG 01/05/23(Thu)15:54:48 Anyone got any weird habits? I'll start No.892082833 >Basically I like to pull dingleberries out of my ass. If you didn't know, a dingleberry is dried fecal matter or toilet paper clinging to your ass hairs >I like them so much I deliberately don't wipe my ass too well and use cheap TP that is slightly wet so that I get them more often. Sometimes I get a lingering s--- smell but it's worth it >It's like a little surprise, y'know. I'm scrubbing my ass and then I get to basically do a puzzle while bathing >My favorite part is trying to get the dingleberries off without pulling my ass hairs out (I need them to get the dingleberries in the first place kek)
: Anonymous 86 KB JPG 01/05/23(Thu)15:54:48 Anyone got any weird habits? I'll start No.892082833 >Basically I like to pull dingleberries out of my ass. If you didn't know, a dingleberry is dried fecal matter or toilet paper clinging to your ass hairs >I like them so much I deliberately don't wipe my ass too well and use cheap TP that is slightly wet so that I get them more often. Sometimes I get a lingering s--- smell but it's worth it >It's like a little surprise, y'know. I'm scrubbing my ass and then I get to basically do a puzzle while bathing >My favorite part is trying to get the dingleberries off without pulling my ass hairs out (I need them to get the dingleberries in the first place kek)

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There's something about anon that is hard to explain | /r/Greentext

Anonymous You are a real human bean >Watch Drive for the first time >Want to be like driver 06/16/22(Thu)16:28:57 No.880269542 And a real hero 23 KB JPG >Buy scorpion jacket off Amazon >It arrives and is party city level garbage but f--- it >Go into subway >See 8.5/10 at counter >She asks what type of bread I'd like >Wait 3 seconds >"Italian" >Continue to pause between each thing I'd want on my sandwich >She becomes visibly uncomfortable >Panic >"I drive" >She looks up and doesn't say a word >She gives me my total >Forgot to bring cash >ohfuck.png >Walk out of store without saying a word Real human being
Anonymous You are a real human bean >Watch Drive for the first time >Want to be like driver 06/16/22(Thu)16:28:57 No.880269542 And a real hero 23 KB JPG >Buy scorpion jacket off Amazon >It arrives and is party city level garbage but f--- it >Go into subway >See 8.5/10 at counter >She asks what type of bread I'd like >Wait 3 seconds >"Italian" >Continue to pause between each thing I'd want on my sandwich >She becomes visibly uncomfortable >Panic >"I drive" >She looks up and doesn't say a word >She gives me my total >Forgot to bring cash >ohfuck.png >Walk out of store without saying a word Real human being

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anon dates a cougar | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Need Advice 01/06/23(Fri)01:40:55 No.892098373 53 KB JPG >be me >be 25 >be secretly dating cougar twice my age >sex is phenomenal >she's really fun to be with too, we get along great and do cute s--- together >enjoying dating more than I ever have >family asks if I'm seeing anyone at dinner one day >casually mention her like it's no big deal >get really judging looks and remarks from the fam >tell me she's "too old" I don't think it's that's weird. My family aren't exactly the most puritanical people anyway, and they've never really cared about my romantic life before. I don't understand why this is suddenly something to be giving me side eyes over. How should I handle this?
: Anonymous Need Advice 01/06/23(Fri)01:40:55 No.892098373 53 KB JPG >be me >be 25 >be secretly dating cougar twice my age >sex is phenomenal >she's really fun to be with too, we get along great and do cute s--- together >enjoying dating more than I ever have >family asks if I'm seeing anyone at dinner one day >casually mention her like it's no big deal >get really judging looks and remarks from the fam >tell me she's "too old" I don't think it's that's weird. My family aren't exactly the most puritanical people anyway, and they've never really cared about my romantic life before. I don't understand why this is suddenly something to be giving me side eyes over. How should I handle this?

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Hot sauce enthusiasts | /r/Greentext

No.16591893 8 hours ago PicsArt_09-03-10.49.01.jpg JPG 104.4 KiB 388x388 >excuse, my dear waitress, but might I perchance take a gander at your hot sauce menu? >...yes, "hot sauce menu." That is what I inquired about. >You... don't... have one? Well, while that is truly disappointing for an establishment as esteemed as this, thankfully I always carry a choice selection of my rather vast collection with me at all times. *loud SCRRRTCCHHing of velcro as a fanny pack is opened* >Hmmm yes, let's see... Perhaps some "Napalm Diarrhea" for this meal? No, I think the garlicy twinge of "Captain McGoober's Ass-Ripping Lava Farter Sauce" would pair quite well with my entree. Or is it finally the day that "5 Alarm Anus Melting Hot Sauce" will make it's debut...? >Ah, the dilemmas of a connoisseur! Be that as it may; what are your IPA offerings, my sweet? 2 replies
No.16591893 8 hours ago PicsArt_09-03-10.49.01.jpg JPG 104.4 KiB 388x388 >excuse, my dear waitress, but might I perchance take a gander at your hot sauce menu? >...yes, "hot sauce menu." That is what I inquired about. >You... don't... have one? Well, while that is truly disappointing for an establishment as esteemed as this, thankfully I always carry a choice selection of my rather vast collection with me at all times. *loud SCRRRTCCHHing of velcro as a fanny pack is opened* >Hmmm yes, let's see... Perhaps some "Napalm Diarrhea" for this meal? No, I think the garlicy twinge of "Captain McGoober's Ass-Ripping Lava Farter Sauce" would pair quite well with my entree. Or is it finally the day that "5 Alarm Anus Melting Hot Sauce" will make it's debut...? >Ah, the dilemmas of a connoisseur! Be that as it may; what are your IPA offerings, my sweet? 2 replies

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Anon faces a hard decision | /r/Greentext

If Satan offered you 100 years on Earth with extreme power and wealth hvalan Unititu you iuu yta... 01/05/23(Thu)18:44:21 No.410961901 AB591D6F-72A8-4F14-9E43-5677BF51C0CF.jpg 364 KB JPG In exchange for 20 years in Hell after, would you take the deal?
If Satan offered you 100 years on Earth with extreme power and wealth hvalan Unititu you iuu yta... 01/05/23(Thu)18:44:21 No.410961901 AB591D6F-72A8-4F14-9E43-5677BF51C0CF.jpg 364 KB JPG In exchange for 20 years in Hell after, would you take the deal?

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Anon needs some luck | /r/Greentext

DC8744CE-8D71-478B-8ECD-28667ABC6618.jpg 96 KB JPG I'm gonna walk into McDonald's with this hat on and convince some workers that the holocaust didn't happen. Wish me luck
DC8744CE-8D71-478B-8ECD-28667ABC6618.jpg 96 KB JPG I'm gonna walk into McDonald's with this hat on and convince some workers that the holocaust didn't happen. Wish me luck

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Anon gets TOPPED | /r/Greentext

Anonymous Are ya winning son? 93 KB JPG No.67705799 >be me playing intense 1v1 online game (chess) >im actually pretty good despite being a complete irl >dominate every player >get really high rank >stumble upon this obscure player 03/09/22(Wed)00:47:05 >he's the first who manages to beat me >rematch >loseagain.jpg >repeat x30 >he sends a link to his discord in chat >add him >he's pretty wholesome & chill >we start to play random games togheter and just hang out on discord >ffw 4 weeks >he sends a pic of him crossdressing with the caption "if you want to see the rest beat me at chess" >his thighs and his skinny tummy are exposed >my meat is literally trembling >challenge him >lose again Anyway after that we started seeing eachother (he likes to top)
Anonymous Are ya winning son? 93 KB JPG No.67705799 >be me playing intense 1v1 online game (chess) >im actually pretty good despite being a complete irl >dominate every player >get really high rank >stumble upon this obscure player 03/09/22(Wed)00:47:05 >he's the first who manages to beat me >rematch >loseagain.jpg >repeat x30 >he sends a link to his discord in chat >add him >he's pretty wholesome & chill >we start to play random games togheter and just hang out on discord >ffw 4 weeks >he sends a pic of him crossdressing with the caption "if you want to see the rest beat me at chess" >his thighs and his skinny tummy are exposed >my meat is literally trembling >challenge him >lose again Anyway after that we started seeing eachother (he likes to top)

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anon gets cucked | /r/Greentext

-File: 2023-01-05 15 19 26-heem (...).png (283 KB, 654x355) cheaters Anonymous 01/05/23(Thu) 13:22:17 No.892066237 [Reply] ► >be me, have gf of 7 years > leaves for 6 months to be exchange student >probably wants out of relationship >some sad f--- recognizes she isnt happy in her long distance relationship and starts hitting on her the second she gets there >they f--- >she says sorry wont happen again, lets figure it out once im back >they f--- again, says she feels horrible she doesnt know whats going on, says wont happen again >they f--- again and again and now she says she is done with me and wants out of relationship >all this time this guy was aware of me and her talking and was fully aware of my existence Should I drive up there, break his f------ arabic jaw for that? We broke up with the girl, but this seems personal vendetta to me.
-File: 2023-01-05 15 19 26-heem (...).png (283 KB, 654x355) cheaters Anonymous 01/05/23(Thu) 13:22:17 No.892066237 [Reply] ► >be me, have gf of 7 years > leaves for 6 months to be exchange student >probably wants out of relationship >some sad f--- recognizes she isnt happy in her long distance relationship and starts hitting on her the second she gets there >they f--- >she says sorry wont happen again, lets figure it out once im back >they f--- again, says she feels horrible she doesnt know whats going on, says wont happen again >they f--- again and again and now she says she is done with me and wants out of relationship >all this time this guy was aware of me and her talking and was fully aware of my existence Should I drive up there, break his f------ arabic jaw for that? We broke up with the girl, but this seems personal vendetta to me.

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Anon check(mate)s | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/13/21(Fri)00:10:33 No.64953756 1565166747388.jpg 141 KB JPG Riddle me this >"Is yaoi gay? If not, is it secretly straight?" >"Of course yaoi is gay, its two guys f------" >"Then loli is p---" >"um WELL UM ASKHAULLY NO.. ITS.. UMM uHHHH"
: Anonymous 08/13/21(Fri)00:10:33 No.64953756 1565166747388.jpg 141 KB JPG Riddle me this >"Is yaoi gay? If not, is it secretly straight?" >"Of course yaoi is gay, its two guys f------" >"Then loli is p---" >"um WELL UM ASKHAULLY NO.. ITS.. UMM uHHHH"

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Anons on black men | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 6 KB JPG 9 Replies / 2 Images : Anonymous 154 KB JPG : Anonymous 01/05/23(Thu)15:07:28 No.71700869 what's a black man afraid of? 87 KB JPG View Thread 01/05/23(Thu)15:35:21 No.71701115 >>71700869 (OP) # they're afraid of me 01/05/23(Thu)15:43:38 No.71701199 >>71700869 (OP) # >Raising their kids >Paying child support >Being accountable for their actions >Saving money and investing for the future >Working in order to achieve future goals to improve their lives and lives of their family >Obeying the law. >Being respectful and appropriate in public spaces >Living within their means
: Anonymous 6 KB JPG 9 Replies / 2 Images : Anonymous 154 KB JPG : Anonymous 01/05/23(Thu)15:07:28 No.71700869 what's a black man afraid of? 87 KB JPG View Thread 01/05/23(Thu)15:35:21 No.71701115 >>71700869 (OP) # they're afraid of me 01/05/23(Thu)15:43:38 No.71701199 >>71700869 (OP) # >Raising their kids >Paying child support >Being accountable for their actions >Saving money and investing for the future >Working in order to achieve future goals to improve their lives and lives of their family >Obeying the law. >Being respectful and appropriate in public spaces >Living within their means

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Anon loves weasels | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 578 KB JPG 15 Replies / 3 Images Anonymous 35 KB JPG Anonymous 52 KB JPG 01/04/23(Wed)22:52:54 No.892048575 my thread View Thread 01/04/23(Wed)23:42:13 No.892051151 >>892048702 # a least weasel, the lesser of weasels, maybe small but still a stoat fella. 01/04/23(Wed)23:54:48 No.892051838 >>892048575 (OP) # Nice tread.
Anonymous 578 KB JPG 15 Replies / 3 Images Anonymous 35 KB JPG Anonymous 52 KB JPG 01/04/23(Wed)22:52:54 No.892048575 my thread View Thread 01/04/23(Wed)23:42:13 No.892051151 >>892048702 # a least weasel, the lesser of weasels, maybe small but still a stoat fella. 01/04/23(Wed)23:54:48 No.892051838 >>892048575 (OP) # Nice tread.

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Anon's gf gives him a complex | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 52° 53 347 57" 59" 5'10" sir 01/05/23(Thu)22:43:11 No.71701780 322 KB PNG >be me, years ago >be 5'8" >be 18 >never knew women prefered taller guys, thought they liked cute guys though >get first gf ever >starts making innocent jokes of my height >jokes become more frequent >ask her why >"well because you're smaller than average and i find it a bit funny" >in a few weeks i develop a bit of anxiety over my height >tell her i cant put on my pokerface when she jokes abt my height anymore >she keeps making jokes but sees i feel more and more sadder >she looks guilty over it now >completely stops joking, apologizes multiple times afterwards >still have height anxiety, now i feel people take me less seriously becaue of my height, even years 18r this is my story of how i was f----- over by women
Anonymous 52° 53 347 57" 59" 5'10" sir 01/05/23(Thu)22:43:11 No.71701780 322 KB PNG >be me, years ago >be 5'8" >be 18 >never knew women prefered taller guys, thought they liked cute guys though >get first gf ever >starts making innocent jokes of my height >jokes become more frequent >ask her why >"well because you're smaller than average and i find it a bit funny" >in a few weeks i develop a bit of anxiety over my height >tell her i cant put on my pokerface when she jokes abt my height anymore >she keeps making jokes but sees i feel more and more sadder >she looks guilty over it now >completely stops joking, apologizes multiple times afterwards >still have height anxiety, now i feel people take me less seriously becaue of my height, even years 18r this is my story of how i was f----- over by women

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anon's mom is a weeb | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 41 KB JPG 01/05/23(Thu)23:39:54 No.178802720 >mom walks excited in my room >wants to show me some new chinese cartoon she's watching >we watch it >characters get half naked and tease each other sexually >cringe.jpg >mom notices my discomfort >"d- don't worry the good part comes after that" >the good part never comes >look at her in disappointment and disgust Do you also have weird parents you're ashamed of, /tv/?
: Anonymous 41 KB JPG 01/05/23(Thu)23:39:54 No.178802720 >mom walks excited in my room >wants to show me some new chinese cartoon she's watching >we watch it >characters get half naked and tease each other sexually >cringe.jpg >mom notices my discomfort >"d- don't worry the good part comes after that" >the good part never comes >look at her in disappointment and disgust Do you also have weird parents you're ashamed of, /tv/?

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Anon likes noir | /r/Greentext

Anonymous | 178792114 38.4 kB JPG 3 REPLIES 11.4 kB JPG >She was a crazy dame with two dead husbands and legs that stretched into next Tuesday. So yeah, I took the case. If I'm gonna take another bullet, it might as well be for gams like hers. 5 IMAGES Anonymous | 178792629 4 hr ago ... REPLY 4 hr ago... >My informant told me I should talk to this actor, Hunter, who had been at the scene filming for a new picture >I knocked on the trailer door and a woman answered but somehow something didn't sit right with me, this dame weren't no ordinary dame
Anonymous | 178792114 38.4 kB JPG 3 REPLIES 11.4 kB JPG >She was a crazy dame with two dead husbands and legs that stretched into next Tuesday. So yeah, I took the case. If I'm gonna take another bullet, it might as well be for gams like hers. 5 IMAGES Anonymous | 178792629 4 hr ago ... REPLY 4 hr ago... >My informant told me I should talk to this actor, Hunter, who had been at the scene filming for a new picture >I knocked on the trailer door and a woman answered but somehow something didn't sit right with me, this dame weren't no ordinary dame

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