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Anon becomes a criminal mastermind | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 39 KB JPG 02/03/23(Fri)10:17:28 No.72079044 I f----- up big time robots >found my teacher's onlyfans >decided to blackmail her >met her afterschool, showed the onlyfans and demanded a PS5 >it's was not her should I drop school before they suspend me?

: Anonymous 39 KB JPG 02/03/23(Fri)10:17:28 No.72079044 I f----- up big time robots >found my teacher's onlyfans >decided to blackmail her >met her afterschool, showed the onlyfans and demanded a PS5 >it's was not her should I drop school before they suspend me?

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Anon critiques The Brutalist | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 02/01/25(Sat) 18:19:32 No.208340328 >WAAAHH I'M SO OPPRESSED BECAUSE IM A JEW AND NOBODY LIKES ME >THEY GIVE ME A NICE HOUSE AND LET ME BUILD BIG BUILDINGS BUT SAY MEAN THINGS ABOUT MY POLLACK ACCENT WAAAHHHH literally 3 and a half hours of shekel pilers bitching

Anonymous 02/01/25(Sat) 18:19:32 No.208340328 >WAAAHH I'M SO OPPRESSED BECAUSE IM A JEW AND NOBODY LIKES ME >THEY GIVE ME A NICE HOUSE AND LET ME BUILD BIG BUILDINGS BUT SAY MEAN THINGS ABOUT MY POLLACK ACCENT WAAAHHHH literally 3 and a half hours of shekel pilers bitching

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Anon wants his processed pork with liquid smoke | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 05/11/22(Wed)20:27:39 No.877971132 M 5077E542-BAD4-47B9-B06C-F21D4CDB958C.jpg 144 KB JPG The reason The McRib is not a full time menu item is because of liberals. Let me explain >Liberals have stupid ideas >Not making the McRib a full time menu item is a stupid idea why would liberals do this

Anonymous 05/11/22(Wed)20:27:39 No.877971132 M 5077E542-BAD4-47B9-B06C-F21D4CDB958C.jpg 144 KB JPG The reason The McRib is not a full time menu item is because of liberals. Let me explain >Liberals have stupid ideas >Not making the McRib a full time menu item is a stupid idea why would liberals do this

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Plane Wreck | /r/Greentext

Board /pol/ - Politically Incorrect Anonymous (ID: yVmtb1wg) ▼ Settings Mobile Home 02/01/25(Sat)15:43:09 No.496125464 Pup "Tings Pop Tingz @ThePopTingz Följ Denmark is reportedly planning on increasing tariffs for Ozempic by 500% for the US only. Översätt inlägget 11:20 01 feb. 25 1M Visningar 504 KB PNG amerifats WILL kneel in the end Anonymous (ID: 0bRhhOGo) E >>496125464 (OP) MPIC OZEMP 02/01/25(Sat)15:44:11 No.496125553 Can you say that again Sven? I didn't hear you over all the bombs going off in your country. Anonymous (ID: yVmtb1wg) >>496125553 rude 02/01/25(Sat)15:45:03 No.496125627

Board /pol/ - Politically Incorrect Anonymous (ID: yVmtb1wg) ▼ Settings Mobile Home 02/01/25(Sat)15:43:09 No.496125464 Pup "Tings Pop Tingz @ThePopTingz Följ Denmark is reportedly planning on increasing tariffs for Ozempic by 500% for the US only. Översätt inlägget 11:20 01 feb. 25 1M Visningar 504 KB PNG amerifats WILL kneel in the end Anonymous (ID: 0bRhhOGo) E >>496125464 (OP) MPIC OZEMP 02/01/25(Sat)15:44:11 No.496125553 Can you say that again Sven? I didn't hear you over all the bombs going off in your country. Anonymous (ID: yVmtb1wg) >>496125553 rude 02/01/25(Sat)15:45:03 No.496125627

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Are you tired of ‘winning’ yet | /r/Greentext

Trump says he ordered air strikes on Islamic State group in Somalia 301 301 SAFE US AFRICA COMMAND US Defence Secretary Pete Hegseth said the strikes "further degrade" the ability of IS in Somalia George Wright BBC News 1 February 2025, 17:42 GMT Updated 35 minutes ago Donald Trump says he ordered military air strikes on a senior attack planner and others from the Islamic State (IS) group in Somalia. "These killers, who we found hiding in caves, threatened the United States and our Allies," Trump posted on social media. 1aa90f.png 611 KB PNG >US airliners falling out of the skies >Egg prices soaring >Deportation photo op failed >Melania getting Trudeau'd >Trump looking to deflect attention OFFIC

Trump says he ordered air strikes on Islamic State group in Somalia 301 301 SAFE US AFRICA COMMAND US Defence Secretary Pete Hegseth said the strikes "further degrade" the ability of IS in Somalia George Wright BBC News 1 February 2025, 17:42 GMT Updated 35 minutes ago Donald Trump says he ordered military air strikes on a senior attack planner and others from the Islamic State (IS) group in Somalia. "These killers, who we found hiding in caves, threatened the United States and our Allies," Trump posted on social media. 1aa90f.png 611 KB PNG >US airliners falling out of the skies >Egg prices soaring >Deportation photo op failed >Melania getting Trudeau'd >Trump looking to deflect attention OFFIC

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Edgar anon poe | /r/Greentext

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Hmm....... | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Really makes you think 34 KB PNG 01/31/25(Fri)23:40:08 No.80231561 >board mostly frequented by adult male virgins, sometimes autistic, mostly losers >cult of loserdom, they pride themselves in being failures at life, and lash out at anyone who isn't >they hate women because they never got laid >they idolize killers like Rodger due to their hatred of women >some even pride themselves of never having a job and leeching out of the people they hate thanks to NEETbucks >...is also one of the few left-leaning board on the site, high population of homosexuals and trannies Really gets the old noggin' out for a joggin'. 13 Replies / 2 Images View Thread : Anonymous >>80231561 (OP) # 02/01/25(Sat) 01:26:33 No.80232146 >they pride themselves in being failures at life point me to the loser pride thread

: Anonymous Really makes you think 34 KB PNG 01/31/25(Fri)23:40:08 No.80231561 >board mostly frequented by adult male virgins, sometimes autistic, mostly losers >cult of loserdom, they pride themselves in being failures at life, and lash out at anyone who isn't >they hate women because they never got laid >they idolize killers like Rodger due to their hatred of women >some even pride themselves of never having a job and leeching out of the people they hate thanks to NEETbucks >...is also one of the few left-leaning board on the site, high population of homosexuals and trannies Really gets the old noggin' out for a joggin'. 13 Replies / 2 Images View Thread : Anonymous >>80231561 (OP) # 02/01/25(Sat) 01:26:33 No.80232146 >they pride themselves in being failures at life point me to the loser pride thread

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Anon shares a funny story | /r/Greentext

Funny incel stories >Go to local mall with wife >Stop by gamestop to browse while my lady was looking at some b------- in another store >Short, greasy asian kid walks up next to me >Wearing grey sweats with stains, hair unkempt. I can tell this is his biannual trip outside >He starts quietly talking to me >Comments on the game I was looking at, asking if I'm a fan >Explain I was just checking it out, but that I thought it looked interesting >We start talking about RPGs when my wife enters the store looking for me >She walks up next to me and joins the conversation, comments that she actually played the game we were talking about originally >Look back at the guy and he is staring directly at the floor, frozen in place. >Awkward silence for a couple seconds and then the guy flees the store >Wife looks at me bewildered, I understood exactly what happened >Explain it to her, we laugh Poor guy, he could've got some practice talking to ladies, my wife is nice

Funny incel stories >Go to local mall with wife >Stop by gamestop to browse while my lady was looking at some b------- in another store >Short, greasy asian kid walks up next to me >Wearing grey sweats with stains, hair unkempt. I can tell this is his biannual trip outside >He starts quietly talking to me >Comments on the game I was looking at, asking if I'm a fan >Explain I was just checking it out, but that I thought it looked interesting >We start talking about RPGs when my wife enters the store looking for me >She walks up next to me and joins the conversation, comments that she actually played the game we were talking about originally >Look back at the guy and he is staring directly at the floor, frozen in place. >Awkward silence for a couple seconds and then the guy flees the store >Wife looks at me bewildered, I understood exactly what happened >Explain it to her, we laugh Poor guy, he could've got some practice talking to ladies, my wife is nice

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The chad Angelus | /r/Greentext

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Anon Hates Magic | /r/Greentext

☐ Anonymous 01/31/25(Fri)08:26:37 No.208286804 ►>>208286999 >a potion exists that forces people to tell the truth and be forthcoming with information >they still hold court trials Why? ☐ Anonymous 01/31/25(Fri)08:35:41 No.208286999 ► >>208287137 >>208286804 >A potion that allows you to Physically mimic someone else right down to their DNA exists >A curse where you can force someone to do anything you want exists >A spell where you can ERASE PEOPLE'S MEMORIES exists >Not a single r--- scene or accusation in the series Not realistic ☐ Anonymous 01/31/25(Fri)08:51:39 No.208287351 >>208287391 File: horace-slughorn.jpg (223 KB, 660x330) >knows how to make a potion that can make you practically invincible and guide you towards what you're trying to do for a good few hours >They only use it once WOULD'VE BEEN REAL USEFUL WHEN THEY WASTED A YEAR CAMPING IN THE WOODS ☐ Anonymous 01/31/25(Fri)08:55:29 No.208287428 >>208287446 >>208287494 >>208291736 >We can control time but only so this girl can take extra classes ☐ Anonymous 01/31/25(Fri)08:56:32 No.208287447 >>208287613 >wizards used to s--- their pants and magic it away until like 40 years ago imagine the smell ☐ Anonymous 01/31/25(Fri)09:04:06 No.208287578 >as a special treat, all exams have been cancelled! >>208287641 >>208287675 >>208292353 >that's right, the measurement to see how effective we are at doing our jobs as educators is not here this year. Please do not question this, or else you're a nerd. ☐ Anonymous 01/31/25(Fri)14:30:57 No.208294200 ► File: Screenshot_20250130_22304(...).jpg (477 KB, 2049x1359) ben @benjaminroffman - 3h @jk_rowling my wife said there are no Jews at Hogwarts. I'm a Jew so I assume she said it to be the only magical 1 in the family. Thoughts? 2349 *77 *** J.K. Rowling @jk_rowling .@benjaminroffman Anthony Goldstein, Ravenclaw, Jewish wizard. RETWEETS FAVORITES 767 2,228 3:06 PM-16 Dec 2014 I f------ love JK Rowling +⚫ Follow

☐ Anonymous 01/31/25(Fri)08:26:37 No.208286804 ►>>208286999 >a potion exists that forces people to tell the truth and be forthcoming with information >they still hold court trials Why? ☐ Anonymous 01/31/25(Fri)08:35:41 No.208286999 ► >>208287137 >>208286804 >A potion that allows you to Physically mimic someone else right down to their DNA exists >A curse where you can force someone to do anything you want exists >A spell where you can ERASE PEOPLE'S MEMORIES exists >Not a single r--- scene or accusation in the series Not realistic ☐ Anonymous 01/31/25(Fri)08:51:39 No.208287351 >>208287391 File: horace-slughorn.jpg (223 KB, 660x330) >knows how to make a potion that can make you practically invincible and guide you towards what you're trying to do for a good few hours >They only use it once WOULD'VE BEEN REAL USEFUL WHEN THEY WASTED A YEAR CAMPING IN THE WOODS ☐ Anonymous 01/31/25(Fri)08:55:29 No.208287428 >>208287446 >>208287494 >>208291736 >We can control time but only so this girl can take extra classes ☐ Anonymous 01/31/25(Fri)08:56:32 No.208287447 >>208287613 >wizards used to s--- their pants and magic it away until like 40 years ago imagine the smell ☐ Anonymous 01/31/25(Fri)09:04:06 No.208287578 >as a special treat, all exams have been cancelled! >>208287641 >>208287675 >>208292353 >that's right, the measurement to see how effective we are at doing our jobs as educators is not here this year. Please do not question this, or else you're a nerd. ☐ Anonymous 01/31/25(Fri)14:30:57 No.208294200 ► File: Screenshot_20250130_22304(...).jpg (477 KB, 2049x1359) ben @benjaminroffman - 3h @jk_rowling my wife said there are no Jews at Hogwarts. I'm a Jew so I assume she said it to be the only magical 1 in the family. Thoughts? 2349 *77 *** J.K. Rowling @jk_rowling .@benjaminroffman Anthony Goldstein, Ravenclaw, Jewish wizard. RETWEETS FAVORITES 767 2,228 3:06 PM-16 Dec 2014 I f------ love JK Rowling +⚫ Follow

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Earl of Sandwich | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 52 KB JPG 08/27/21(Fri)21:13:07 No.65157997 >>65156362 >live in a bad part of town >work at a grocery store >always give hobos the food the store wants to throw out >on cold days, I make a big jug of coffee and hand it out to them >no one ever asks me for cash because they know I'm broke >am known as the "sandwich man" because I usually make sandwiches for them >last year, got mugged walking back home >5 seconds after being confronted I hear "AYO GET AWAY FROM THE SANDWICH MAN!" >4 or 5 homeless guys run to me from half a block away yelling at the mugger to get away from me despite him having a knife >he ran off after they came and they chased after him >follow and there was like 10 of them gathered around and he was pinned to the ground >one called the police and they arrested the guy >was told "if anyone f---- with you sandwich man, we got your back" >mfw I basically have a street gang by giving away day old sandwich meat and bread I am told to throw in the trash

: Anonymous 52 KB JPG 08/27/21(Fri)21:13:07 No.65157997 >>65156362 >live in a bad part of town >work at a grocery store >always give hobos the food the store wants to throw out >on cold days, I make a big jug of coffee and hand it out to them >no one ever asks me for cash because they know I'm broke >am known as the "sandwich man" because I usually make sandwiches for them >last year, got mugged walking back home >5 seconds after being confronted I hear "AYO GET AWAY FROM THE SANDWICH MAN!" >4 or 5 homeless guys run to me from half a block away yelling at the mugger to get away from me despite him having a knife >he ran off after they came and they chased after him >follow and there was like 10 of them gathered around and he was pinned to the ground >one called the police and they arrested the guy >was told "if anyone f---- with you sandwich man, we got your back" >mfw I basically have a street gang by giving away day old sandwich meat and bread I am told to throw in the trash

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Anon sues a dating site | /r/Greentext

File: 1736137862627483.jpg (107 KB, 1280x720) IT'S HAPPENING Class Action against tinder Anonymous (ID: nozkoiQg) 01/31/25(Fri)14:32:31 No.496030210 >>496031352 >>496031481 >>496031617 >>496031927 >>496032143 >>496032688 >>496032758 >>496032939 >>496033376 >>496033918 >>496033999 >>496034693 >>496035673 >>496035754 >>496036100 >>496036114 >>496036292 >>496037010 >>496037261 >>496037303 >>496037351 >>496037564 >>496037710 >>496037817 >>496038976 >>496040240 >>496040427 >>496042484 >>496042605 >>496043205 >>496044304 >Be me German CEO, IQ 145, successful mid-sized company >Decide to try Tinder to find love > Match Group manipulates platform for 8 years Blocks messages, manipulates likes, suggests "better partners" >Slowly destroys my mental health >Become depressed, anxious, suicidal >Attempt suicide, end up with permanent cognitive damage >IQ drops from 145 to 80 >Can't concentrate, can't work, lose my job Turn to alcohol to cope, become alcoholic >Happy relationship ruined by Tinder's constant manipulation >Life completely destroyed >Decide to sue Match Group for $15 billion Hire top US law firm >File class action lawsuit with 20,000 other victims >Media picks up the story, public outrage ensues >Match Group stock plummets, reputation in shambles >Case goes to court >Present evidence: >Medical reports showing IQ drop, cognitive damage, alcoholism >Psychological evaluations linking damage to Tinder's manipulation I>nternal Match Group documents proving intentional deception >Judge awards $10 billion in damages Match Group forced to change business practices >New regulations imposed on dating platforms >Justice served Still can't get my old life back But at least I ruined the company that ruined me TL;DR: Tinder destroyed my life, I sued them for 15 b ¡ | O n ' W O >> n 15billion, won 10 billion, and forced them to change their evil ways. Justice served. Anonymous (ID: 2MGtnZNc ) 01/31/25(Fri)14:44:00 No.496031352 >>496034903 >>496037405 >>496037944 >>496042784 >>496030210 (OP). >IQ drops from 145 to 80 At least now you can communicate with women >>496031520 >>496031927

File: 1736137862627483.jpg (107 KB, 1280x720) IT'S HAPPENING Class Action against tinder Anonymous (ID: nozkoiQg) 01/31/25(Fri)14:32:31 No.496030210 >>496031352 >>496031481 >>496031617 >>496031927 >>496032143 >>496032688 >>496032758 >>496032939 >>496033376 >>496033918 >>496033999 >>496034693 >>496035673 >>496035754 >>496036100 >>496036114 >>496036292 >>496037010 >>496037261 >>496037303 >>496037351 >>496037564 >>496037710 >>496037817 >>496038976 >>496040240 >>496040427 >>496042484 >>496042605 >>496043205 >>496044304 >Be me German CEO, IQ 145, successful mid-sized company >Decide to try Tinder to find love > Match Group manipulates platform for 8 years Blocks messages, manipulates likes, suggests "better partners" >Slowly destroys my mental health >Become depressed, anxious, suicidal >Attempt suicide, end up with permanent cognitive damage >IQ drops from 145 to 80 >Can't concentrate, can't work, lose my job Turn to alcohol to cope, become alcoholic >Happy relationship ruined by Tinder's constant manipulation >Life completely destroyed >Decide to sue Match Group for $15 billion Hire top US law firm >File class action lawsuit with 20,000 other victims >Media picks up the story, public outrage ensues >Match Group stock plummets, reputation in shambles >Case goes to court >Present evidence: >Medical reports showing IQ drop, cognitive damage, alcoholism >Psychological evaluations linking damage to Tinder's manipulation I>nternal Match Group documents proving intentional deception >Judge awards $10 billion in damages Match Group forced to change business practices >New regulations imposed on dating platforms >Justice served Still can't get my old life back But at least I ruined the company that ruined me TL;DR: Tinder destroyed my life, I sued them for 15 b ¡ | O n ' W O >> n 15billion, won 10 billion, and forced them to change their evil ways. Justice served. Anonymous (ID: 2MGtnZNc ) 01/31/25(Fri)14:44:00 No.496031352 >>496034903 >>496037405 >>496037944 >>496042784 >>496030210 (OP). >IQ drops from 145 to 80 At least now you can communicate with women >>496031520 >>496031927

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Anon's dad is a southerner | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: y8De0+0A 02/03/18 (Sat)20:54:28 No.7275061 >dad buys 2015 Diesel Dodge Ram >6 months later says "I think I'm gonna buy a new truck" >whatthefuck.jpeg 128 KB JPG >"why you just got a new one" >"I'm gonna buy a 2016. Those diesel Engines last forever" >"then why don't you make your 2015 last forever" >says I don't understand vehicles >tfw he's over $70,000 in debt and doesn't understand why Is my dad retarded?

Anonymous (ID: y8De0+0A 02/03/18 (Sat)20:54:28 No.7275061 >dad buys 2015 Diesel Dodge Ram >6 months later says "I think I'm gonna buy a new truck" >whatthefuck.jpeg 128 KB JPG >"why you just got a new one" >"I'm gonna buy a 2016. Those diesel Engines last forever" >"then why don't you make your 2015 last forever" >says I don't understand vehicles >tfw he's over $70,000 in debt and doesn't understand why Is my dad retarded?

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Hipster Humor | /r/Greentext

Board /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 Anonymous Settings Mobile Home 01/31/25(Fri)16:46:34 No.80227392 53 KB PNG >Be me >Walking >See homeless guy get off a bus How does he know that it's his stop?

Board /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 Anonymous Settings Mobile Home 01/31/25(Fri)16:46:34 No.80227392 53 KB PNG >Be me >Walking >See homeless guy get off a bus How does he know that it's his stop?

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Sovereignty | /r/Greentext

Why are leafs and spics so scared of becoming American? Why are leafs and spics so sca(...) (Fri)15:50:32 No.496020743 shutterstock.com 1137409301 9 KB JPG Both flaggots been on panic mode when trump country dropped theirs names. Anonymous (ID: L/XS+k0x) [+] 01/31/25(Fri)15:51:10 No.496020804 We're not scared, we're just not interested. Anonymous (ID: k2d6hmSf) [+ >>496020743 (OP). I like my foreskin 01/31/25(Fri)15:51:51 No.496020874

Why are leafs and spics so scared of becoming American? Why are leafs and spics so sca(...) (Fri)15:50:32 No.496020743 shutterstock.com 1137409301 9 KB JPG Both flaggots been on panic mode when trump country dropped theirs names. Anonymous (ID: L/XS+k0x) [+] 01/31/25(Fri)15:51:10 No.496020804 We're not scared, we're just not interested. Anonymous (ID: k2d6hmSf) [+ >>496020743 (OP). I like my foreskin 01/31/25(Fri)15:51:51 No.496020874

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El farto, or LA farta? | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: c04HSpJa ) ■ 01/31/25(Fri)02:37:36 No.495977831 Anonymous 16 minutes ago 788931223 1 REPLY >be me >at work >work next to a place with a lot of mexicans, most don't speak English >have to fart >qt 3.14 latina chick walking by >think "she doesn't speak English so she won't understand my fart" >fart VERY LOUD >she looks at me in disgust >mfw I realize how f------ autistic I am

Anonymous (ID: c04HSpJa ) ■ 01/31/25(Fri)02:37:36 No.495977831 Anonymous 16 minutes ago 788931223 1 REPLY >be me >at work >work next to a place with a lot of mexicans, most don't speak English >have to fart >qt 3.14 latina chick walking by >think "she doesn't speak English so she won't understand my fart" >fart VERY LOUD >she looks at me in disgust >mfw I realize how f------ autistic I am

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Dumbledore asked calmly | /r/Greentext

File: Lordvoldemort.jpg (12 KB, 375x265) Anonymous 01/30/25(Thu)15:42:10 No.208285881 >>208285950 >>208286125 >>208286647 >>208287278>>208287399 >>208288340 >>208288475 >>208288595 >>208291908 >>208293944 >>208295125 >>208295439 >>208295745 >>208301598 >>208302816 >>208304089 >>208304256 >>208304641 >Couldn't kill a baby >Couldn't kill an 11 year old who just learned he was a wizard >Couldn't kill a 14 year old who was in one of his first duels >Couldn't kill three 17 year olds camping in the woods >Couldn't take over a f------ school >Couldn't beat a 100 year old gay wizard who could barely walk >Was too retarded to just make a Horcrux out of a rock and bury it in a random place in some forest >Most likely homosexual Why was Lord Voldemort so feared? Anonymous 01/30/25(Thu)15:43:15 No.208285911 Women can't write. Anonymous 01/30/25(Thu)15:43:50 No.208285926 Plot armor of mc trumps bad guy's skills as usual Anonymous 01/30/25(Thu)15:45:09 No.208285950 >>208285881 (OP) >saved by the eldritch force of love >saved by the eldritch force of love again >saved by destiny giving him the same wand >saved by obscurity >he has no excuse for this one >>208291287 >>208299596 >>208304726 >>208288001 >>208287899 >he did, his horcrux took his arm, then another horcrux's protections weakened him enough that snape had to kill him to preserve his cover >he probably did, just wait for harry potter 8 >he did, he has a daughter in the non canon play sequel ☐ Anonymous 01/30/25(Thu)15:46:52 No.208285986 File: maxresdefault (5).jpg (51 KB, 1280×720) >>208287708 >>208298936 >"HARRY! DID YOU PUT YOUR M------------ NAME INTO THE GOBLET OF FIRE YOU F------ F-----!? YOU RETARD!?? YOU F------ P------------! 2000 POINTS TO SLYTHERIN!!!!!!! ANSWER ME! DID YOU PUT YOUR F------ NAME IN THE GOBLET OF FIRE!??? SEVERUS PLEASE....HOLD HIM DOWN! AVADA KEDAVRA!!!!" -Dumbledore asked calmly

File: Lordvoldemort.jpg (12 KB, 375x265) Anonymous 01/30/25(Thu)15:42:10 No.208285881 >>208285950 >>208286125 >>208286647 >>208287278>>208287399 >>208288340 >>208288475 >>208288595 >>208291908 >>208293944 >>208295125 >>208295439 >>208295745 >>208301598 >>208302816 >>208304089 >>208304256 >>208304641 >Couldn't kill a baby >Couldn't kill an 11 year old who just learned he was a wizard >Couldn't kill a 14 year old who was in one of his first duels >Couldn't kill three 17 year olds camping in the woods >Couldn't take over a f------ school >Couldn't beat a 100 year old gay wizard who could barely walk >Was too retarded to just make a Horcrux out of a rock and bury it in a random place in some forest >Most likely homosexual Why was Lord Voldemort so feared? Anonymous 01/30/25(Thu)15:43:15 No.208285911 Women can't write. Anonymous 01/30/25(Thu)15:43:50 No.208285926 Plot armor of mc trumps bad guy's skills as usual Anonymous 01/30/25(Thu)15:45:09 No.208285950 >>208285881 (OP) >saved by the eldritch force of love >saved by the eldritch force of love again >saved by destiny giving him the same wand >saved by obscurity >he has no excuse for this one >>208291287 >>208299596 >>208304726 >>208288001 >>208287899 >he did, his horcrux took his arm, then another horcrux's protections weakened him enough that snape had to kill him to preserve his cover >he probably did, just wait for harry potter 8 >he did, he has a daughter in the non canon play sequel ☐ Anonymous 01/30/25(Thu)15:46:52 No.208285986 File: maxresdefault (5).jpg (51 KB, 1280×720) >>208287708 >>208298936 >"HARRY! DID YOU PUT YOUR M------------ NAME INTO THE GOBLET OF FIRE YOU F------ F-----!? YOU RETARD!?? YOU F------ P------------! 2000 POINTS TO SLYTHERIN!!!!!!! ANSWER ME! DID YOU PUT YOUR F------ NAME IN THE GOBLET OF FIRE!??? SEVERUS PLEASE....HOLD HIM DOWN! AVADA KEDAVRA!!!!" -Dumbledore asked calmly

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Anon is inspiring | /r/Greentext

18:16 10309 Board /out/ - Outdoors ▼Settings Mobile Ho pridvertise on renunj Anonymous I turned my church into a hiki(...) 01/25/25(Sat) 06:26:25 No.28022 × FILE DELETED >start going to church so I can actually socialize >after attending for about 3 months straight, miss day because a hiking trip went a little too long on Saturday and I didn't feel like going to church on 2 hours of sleep >next week church granny checks in on me >asks if I'm alright, if I need any help, if there was some emergency last Sunday, etc. >tell her no, I just hiked a little too long >gives some churchy reply like "well we can't have you missing worship left and right just because of some trees" >pull a churchy response straight out of my ass an say something along the lines of "I think it's better praise the Lord while among his creations, not whil locked away from them in a building" >she steps back in dramatized shock and goes dee into thought >sermon starts and pastor goes into his topic for the week >at the end of the sermon pastor asks if anyone ha anything they'd like to add >church granny springs up and tells everyone what told her, but dramatizes it obviously >finishes it by telling the pastor she thinks the church should do a monthly hike >pastor acts like the holy spirit gave him a h------ and shouts about how f------ amazing of an idea that is >puts me in charge of the hiking trips >choose flat, short trails because old people >can hardly walk 10 feet without hearing camera shutters or "hallelujah", "lordy lordy" "praise God", "thank you God", or something else like that

18:16 10309 Board /out/ - Outdoors ▼Settings Mobile Ho pridvertise on renunj Anonymous I turned my church into a hiki(...) 01/25/25(Sat) 06:26:25 No.28022 × FILE DELETED >start going to church so I can actually socialize >after attending for about 3 months straight, miss day because a hiking trip went a little too long on Saturday and I didn't feel like going to church on 2 hours of sleep >next week church granny checks in on me >asks if I'm alright, if I need any help, if there was some emergency last Sunday, etc. >tell her no, I just hiked a little too long >gives some churchy reply like "well we can't have you missing worship left and right just because of some trees" >pull a churchy response straight out of my ass an say something along the lines of "I think it's better praise the Lord while among his creations, not whil locked away from them in a building" >she steps back in dramatized shock and goes dee into thought >sermon starts and pastor goes into his topic for the week >at the end of the sermon pastor asks if anyone ha anything they'd like to add >church granny springs up and tells everyone what told her, but dramatizes it obviously >finishes it by telling the pastor she thinks the church should do a monthly hike >pastor acts like the holy spirit gave him a h------ and shouts about how f------ amazing of an idea that is >puts me in charge of the hiking trips >choose flat, short trails because old people >can hardly walk 10 feet without hearing camera shutters or "hallelujah", "lordy lordy" "praise God", "thank you God", or something else like that

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Anon dislikes Pirate Software | /r/Greentext

File: smug-retard.jpg (362 KB, 1400x788) Pilal Place F overed MINUI F2 ØDE Pirate Software Anonymous 11/19/24(Tue)16:59:30 No.103239789 >nepo baby who got a job at blizzard through his father red >brags about having 20 years of gamedev experience when he was just a QA tester >furry who used to go by "maldavius figtree" >spams youtube shorts by dropping asinine trivial coding "knowledge" >pretends he's an elite game developer and master hacker >still hasn't released his gamemaker undertale clone after 8 years >smug know-it-all >will often talk s--- about other people and not back it up or elaborate >lied about stop killing games and smeared anyone supporting it >insists that people call him "Thor" instead of his real name >talks in a fake deep voice >got called out on it when older videos of him at comic-con leaked where his real voice was nasally >defends it by saying he went through a "second puberty" at age 33 >loses his mind and will ban you if you mention any of this >will report any videos and comments that mention any of this because it's "harassment" I hate seeing this smug retard's face everywhere

File: smug-retard.jpg (362 KB, 1400x788) Pilal Place F overed MINUI F2 ØDE Pirate Software Anonymous 11/19/24(Tue)16:59:30 No.103239789 >nepo baby who got a job at blizzard through his father red >brags about having 20 years of gamedev experience when he was just a QA tester >furry who used to go by "maldavius figtree" >spams youtube shorts by dropping asinine trivial coding "knowledge" >pretends he's an elite game developer and master hacker >still hasn't released his gamemaker undertale clone after 8 years >smug know-it-all >will often talk s--- about other people and not back it up or elaborate >lied about stop killing games and smeared anyone supporting it >insists that people call him "Thor" instead of his real name >talks in a fake deep voice >got called out on it when older videos of him at comic-con leaked where his real voice was nasally >defends it by saying he went through a "second puberty" at age 33 >loses his mind and will ban you if you mention any of this >will report any videos and comments that mention any of this because it's "harassment" I hate seeing this smug retard's face everywhere

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r/greentext in 2036 | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 1/31/2025, 10:39:47 AM No.49078630 r/greentext in 2036 Discussion 7 KB JPEG >be me > logging into Reddit Metaverse Premium Plus (now with haptic feedback for downvotes) >spend 3 hours verifying my age through blockchain-based ID system > finally get to r/greentext >sort by new >"Anon works at the Mars Colony" >be me, wagecuck on Mars Colony 47-B >working 169 hour weeks maintaining Musk's catgirl breeding facility >getting paid in ElonCoin (currently worth 0.0000001 USD) >mfw when I can't even afford soylent anymore >tfw no qt 3.14 genetically engineered catgirl gf >at least I'm not working in the reddit karma mines >get notification that I forgot to thank the Amazon-Tesla Al for allowing me to breathe their premium oxygen subscription > oxygen supply cut off >die >get reanimated as a cybernetic wagie because I signed the wrong clause in my 47,000 page employment contract > now I have to work double shifts >tfw when you realize you'll never escape wage slavery even in death >mfw when I realize I'm still paying off my student loans from 2024 >pic related, it's my government assigned cybernetic suffering enhancement module Replies: >Fake: Anon implies he got a job >Gay: Anon works for another man's catgirl facility >TendieBot_9000: [ATTENTION CITIZEN] Please validate your greentext reading license before attempting humor >"what the f--- is a soylent?" > "it's what they called food before the great nutrient paste standardization act of 2034" >be me reading this on my neuralink >get error 404: brain not found >mfw As I watch the last remnants of 4chan culture get absorbed into the corporate metaverse, I realize the true greentext was the autism we developed along the way.

Anonymous 1/31/2025, 10:39:47 AM No.49078630 r/greentext in 2036 Discussion 7 KB JPEG >be me > logging into Reddit Metaverse Premium Plus (now with haptic feedback for downvotes) >spend 3 hours verifying my age through blockchain-based ID system > finally get to r/greentext >sort by new >"Anon works at the Mars Colony" >be me, wagecuck on Mars Colony 47-B >working 169 hour weeks maintaining Musk's catgirl breeding facility >getting paid in ElonCoin (currently worth 0.0000001 USD) >mfw when I can't even afford soylent anymore >tfw no qt 3.14 genetically engineered catgirl gf >at least I'm not working in the reddit karma mines >get notification that I forgot to thank the Amazon-Tesla Al for allowing me to breathe their premium oxygen subscription > oxygen supply cut off >die >get reanimated as a cybernetic wagie because I signed the wrong clause in my 47,000 page employment contract > now I have to work double shifts >tfw when you realize you'll never escape wage slavery even in death >mfw when I realize I'm still paying off my student loans from 2024 >pic related, it's my government assigned cybernetic suffering enhancement module Replies: >Fake: Anon implies he got a job >Gay: Anon works for another man's catgirl facility >TendieBot_9000: [ATTENTION CITIZEN] Please validate your greentext reading license before attempting humor >"what the f--- is a soylent?" > "it's what they called food before the great nutrient paste standardization act of 2034" >be me reading this on my neuralink >get error 404: brain not found >mfw As I watch the last remnants of 4chan culture get absorbed into the corporate metaverse, I realize the true greentext was the autism we developed along the way.

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