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anon is american | /r/Greentext

File: Only+america+can+invade+more+countr.).jpg (23 KB, 300x250) O Anonymous 10/02/15(Fri)18:35:18 No.644391905 [Reply] >>644395643 >>644395963 >Be American >Wake up to sound of gun fire >use my crane to get out of bed, cuz genetics >get on freedom scooter and take the escalator downstairs >Get to living room and mom haven't fetched my morning big mac yet >Get mad and shoot her in the knee caps >Has to drive to expensive college on empty stomach >after wating in traffic for 3 hours get to class late >The daily school shooting has already been and all my class mates are dead >tips school shooter >Go to kfc for a bucket of chicken >tips 120% >Gets home >Terrorists crashed a boeing into my house and killed my mexican gardener >Gets sued by neighbours >Have nothing left >Spends rest of life doing perscription drugs and living in a trailer park >gets aids and cant afford health care >dies Did i forget something?
File: Only+america+can+invade+more+countr.).jpg (23 KB, 300x250) O Anonymous 10/02/15(Fri)18:35:18 No.644391905 [Reply] >>644395643 >>644395963 >Be American >Wake up to sound of gun fire >use my crane to get out of bed, cuz genetics >get on freedom scooter and take the escalator downstairs >Get to living room and mom haven't fetched my morning big mac yet >Get mad and shoot her in the knee caps >Has to drive to expensive college on empty stomach >after wating in traffic for 3 hours get to class late >The daily school shooting has already been and all my class mates are dead >tips school shooter >Go to kfc for a bucket of chicken >tips 120% >Gets home >Terrorists crashed a boeing into my house and killed my mexican gardener >Gets sued by neighbours >Have nothing left >Spends rest of life doing perscription drugs and living in a trailer park >gets aids and cant afford health care >dies Did i forget something?

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Anon hates hedgehogs | /r/Greentext


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Sad Ending | /r/Greentext

I Anonymous 07/05/21(Mon)01:07:58 No.64447011 File: 1f27f978e6f39a8a1634daf01(..).png (111 KB, 399x388) >>64447158 >>64444342 (OP) I feel ya OP >Be me >Five or so years ago >At a party I threw at my place >Get drunk >Debate starts being political >I spend two hours arguing that our country is in the hands of jewish neocons pushing the globohomo agenda >Try and redpill my friends >Eventually say that there is no proof of homicidal gas chambers >Everyone looks shocked and disgusted >End up friendless and divorced They had no counter argument, so they resorted to this. Sad!
I Anonymous 07/05/21(Mon)01:07:58 No.64447011 File: 1f27f978e6f39a8a1634daf01(..).png (111 KB, 399x388) >>64447158 >>64444342 (OP) I feel ya OP >Be me >Five or so years ago >At a party I threw at my place >Get drunk >Debate starts being political >I spend two hours arguing that our country is in the hands of jewish neocons pushing the globohomo agenda >Try and redpill my friends >Eventually say that there is no proof of homicidal gas chambers >Everyone looks shocked and disgusted >End up friendless and divorced They had no counter argument, so they resorted to this. Sad!

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Anon is a horrible brother | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 07/15/15(Wed)22:26:34 No.628235434 >be me >having 18th birthday at home >pretty chill time with friends >brother asks if me I want to see his Minecraft world >tell him to go away >see he's hurt >feel guilty and say I'll check it out later >never check it >a few months later, brother gets leukemia >pray he gets better >he doesn't >brother dies >feels like s--- >tum 21 >packing stuff up for college >notice brother's old laptop >for some reason, remembers broken promise >charge up computer >boot up Minecraft >see world named "HAPPY BIRTHDAY ANON!!!" >load up world >beginning to tear up at this point >world loads >look around and see cake everywhere >giant pixel cake in front of me >balloons across the sky >tum around and see "HAPPY 18TH BIRTHDAY" built with blocks >under b-day message is a sign >sign says "happy birthday anon. You're the best brother ever. :DDD" >f------ cry for hours
Anonymous 07/15/15(Wed)22:26:34 No.628235434 >be me >having 18th birthday at home >pretty chill time with friends >brother asks if me I want to see his Minecraft world >tell him to go away >see he's hurt >feel guilty and say I'll check it out later >never check it >a few months later, brother gets leukemia >pray he gets better >he doesn't >brother dies >feels like s--- >tum 21 >packing stuff up for college >notice brother's old laptop >for some reason, remembers broken promise >charge up computer >boot up Minecraft >see world named "HAPPY BIRTHDAY ANON!!!" >load up world >beginning to tear up at this point >world loads >look around and see cake everywhere >giant pixel cake in front of me >balloons across the sky >tum around and see "HAPPY 18TH BIRTHDAY" built with blocks >under b-day message is a sign >sign says "happy birthday anon. You're the best brother ever. :DDD" >f------ cry for hours

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Rorschach testes | /r/Greentext


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Anon goes to the dentist | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/03/21(Sat)20:17:31 No.62413015 >go to the same dentist since I was 12 >getting teeth checked out >her fat milfy t--- are constantly pressed against my head >squeezes my shoulders for some 6BACK IN TOW 671 KB JPG reason >"gee anon I remember when you were just a little boy but now your becoming quite the strong young man" >>62415456 # >>62415558 # >>62428005 #
: Anonymous 07/03/21(Sat)20:17:31 No.62413015 >go to the same dentist since I was 12 >getting teeth checked out >her fat milfy t--- are constantly pressed against my head >squeezes my shoulders for some 6BACK IN TOW 671 KB JPG reason >"gee anon I remember when you were just a little boy but now your becoming quite the strong young man" >>62415456 # >>62415558 # >>62428005 #

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Anon has mental issues | /r/Greentext

O Anonymous (ID: Qhg8Qw3C) 07/04/21(Sun)22:51:37 No.38522072 >>38522100 File: 991.png (40 KB, 200x200) >>38521744 (OP) >only want to be loved >always alone >don't like it when I'm not alone how do you fix this?
O Anonymous (ID: Qhg8Qw3C) 07/04/21(Sun)22:51:37 No.38522072 >>38522100 File: 991.png (40 KB, 200x200) >>38521744 (OP) >only want to be loved >always alone >don't like it when I'm not alone how do you fix this?

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Anon tells facts | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/05/21(Mon)10:24:21 No.153253352 Buy a dog >loyal and comfy companion, lasts 10-15 years and dies Marry a white woman in her early 20s (absolute best case scenario) >remains beautiful for 5-10 years, then gets ugly, fat, bitchy, and eats away at your soul, or divorces you and takes your s--- and children along) Lesson: don't be a f------ retard and get a dog
: Anonymous 07/05/21(Mon)10:24:21 No.153253352 Buy a dog >loyal and comfy companion, lasts 10-15 years and dies Marry a white woman in her early 20s (absolute best case scenario) >remains beautiful for 5-10 years, then gets ugly, fat, bitchy, and eats away at your soul, or divorces you and takes your s--- and children along) Lesson: don't be a f------ retard and get a dog

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Anon is paranoid | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/05/21 (Mon)08:17:21 No.64447108 >be aware that someone might be looking at me >start walking in manual mode Man OSERY 65 KB JPG : Anonymous 07/05/21(Mon)08:18:04 No.64447112 >be aware that someone might be looking at me >blush : Anonymous 07/05/21(Mon)08:19:48 No.64447122 >>64447108 (OP) # >be aware that someone might be looking at me >hide my face
: Anonymous 07/05/21 (Mon)08:17:21 No.64447108 >be aware that someone might be looking at me >start walking in manual mode Man OSERY 65 KB JPG : Anonymous 07/05/21(Mon)08:18:04 No.64447112 >be aware that someone might be looking at me >blush : Anonymous 07/05/21(Mon)08:19:48 No.64447122 >>64447108 (OP) # >be aware that someone might be looking at me >hide my face

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Anon has lucid dreams | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/05/21(Mon)21:53:56 No.858418907 >be me >sex deprived loser >learn about lucid dreaming >you can do anything and have sex with anyone >spend months learning how to lucid dream >finally become aware in a dream >find a woman in my dream 13 KB JPG >tell her to have sex with me >mfw she says no >mfw im a virgin even in my dreams 3 Replies View Thread
: Anonymous 07/05/21(Mon)21:53:56 No.858418907 >be me >sex deprived loser >learn about lucid dreaming >you can do anything and have sex with anyone >spend months learning how to lucid dream >finally become aware in a dream >find a woman in my dream 13 KB JPG >tell her to have sex with me >mfw she says no >mfw im a virgin even in my dreams 3 Replies View Thread

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Anon grabs a snack | /r/Greentext

I'm so utterly disgusted by myself right now. This is a greentext because it's the best way for me to explain this f------ event. 7 KB JPG >be me few hours ago >s--- not as frequently as I should >this time my s--- is f------ huge >3 f------ pieces super f------ wide like a dragon dildo but not as tall as dragon dildo but still overly tall >toilet pipes get clogged often >damn well know that it's gonna 100% clog it >have no idea what to do accept grab it out >put on some disposable gloves >grab the 2 bigger of the 3 and put it in trash literally put my hand in the toilet to grab 2 huge pieces of s---... this isn't a larp post either. It happened and it makes me feel f------ disgusting af.
I'm so utterly disgusted by myself right now. This is a greentext because it's the best way for me to explain this f------ event. 7 KB JPG >be me few hours ago >s--- not as frequently as I should >this time my s--- is f------ huge >3 f------ pieces super f------ wide like a dragon dildo but not as tall as dragon dildo but still overly tall >toilet pipes get clogged often >damn well know that it's gonna 100% clog it >have no idea what to do accept grab it out >put on some disposable gloves >grab the 2 bigger of the 3 and put it in trash literally put my hand in the toilet to grab 2 huge pieces of s---... this isn't a larp post either. It happened and it makes me feel f------ disgusting af.

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Anon gets catfished | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 07/05/21(Mon)02:43:48 No.64447311 How do you manage pain? Got time for a story, bros? 2Enereoge Tyinuuprofen Alco a Accuncturussade Herei >be 24 yo >l'm actually not that bad looking, low body fat, lift, play sports, just a little socially handicapped >decided to try online dating U Presolarior oin meda *my e with the pain Vene View results Se more polis 23 KB JPG >spend months getting ghosted and catfished >some qt my age likes me >blonde, blue eyed conservative christian >hit it off very quickly >start using whatapp >chat almost everyday and call once a week >been talking with her for 4 months >she puts up with my autistic awkwardness like no other person >plan to see her once the travels restrictions lift >talk with her a few days ago >meet on a plateau overlooking the entire valley >look around >she's not there >foreveralone.jpg >out of nowhere, get knocked to the ground >turn around, it's a middle-aged Mongolian man wielding an exotic string instrument >"YOU FELL FOR IT AGAIN, LOATHSOME CUR. КООООOОККНННННТЕNGAREEEEEEEЕЕЕЕЕЕЕ EEEEEEEEEEZAYATTAIII IIDEL HIYYYNNNNNHAGASIYZDAGGULLLLLLLSEENN NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNWWOHHNNNCHOOON NNNHICHEENEGTEEESIIIIDDDHIMOORAAAS АНННННННННННННННEYЕЕЕЕEАННННННННННН НННННННННЕEEYEEEEEЕЕЕЕЕЕЕЕЕЕЕАННННН HHHHHHHERELHEGGGGMONNGOLLLLLCHINGGG ISSAYYYYYYYYEZZEEENNBOGGDDDCHIINNNG GHIIIISSKHAAAAANNNNNGALLLLTMESSNIII IDUNNDDAAAAAAASSSSSGANBOLLLLDDSHIGG GGIIIHUCCHHHHTTEEEEIIGAZZZZZAAARRR RDELKHIDEEEGARIDSHUVUUUUUSHIGGGHUCC HTTAAAAYYYҮҮEEYEEAAААННННННННН"
Anonymous 07/05/21(Mon)02:43:48 No.64447311 How do you manage pain? Got time for a story, bros? 2Enereoge Tyinuuprofen Alco a Accuncturussade Herei >be 24 yo >l'm actually not that bad looking, low body fat, lift, play sports, just a little socially handicapped >decided to try online dating U Presolarior oin meda *my e with the pain Vene View results Se more polis 23 KB JPG >spend months getting ghosted and catfished >some qt my age likes me >blonde, blue eyed conservative christian >hit it off very quickly >start using whatapp >chat almost everyday and call once a week >been talking with her for 4 months >she puts up with my autistic awkwardness like no other person >plan to see her once the travels restrictions lift >talk with her a few days ago >meet on a plateau overlooking the entire valley >look around >she's not there >foreveralone.jpg >out of nowhere, get knocked to the ground >turn around, it's a middle-aged Mongolian man wielding an exotic string instrument >"YOU FELL FOR IT AGAIN, LOATHSOME CUR. КООООOОККНННННТЕNGAREEEEEEEЕЕЕЕЕЕЕ EEEEEEEEEEZAYATTAIII IIDEL HIYYYNNNNNHAGASIYZDAGGULLLLLLLSEENN NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNWWOHHNNNCHOOON NNNHICHEENEGTEEESIIIIDDDHIMOORAAAS АНННННННННННННННEYЕЕЕЕEАННННННННННН НННННННННЕEEYEEEEEЕЕЕЕЕЕЕЕЕЕЕАННННН HHHHHHHERELHEGGGGMONNGOLLLLLCHINGGG ISSAYYYYYYYYEZZEEENNBOGGDDDCHIINNNG GHIIIISSKHAAAAANNNNNGALLLLTMESSNIII IDUNNDDAAAAAAASSSSSGANBOLLLLDDSHIGG GGIIIHUCCHHHHTTEEEEIIGAZZZZZAAARRR RDELKHIDEEEGARIDSHUVUUUUUSHIGGGHUCC HTTAAAAYYYҮҮEEYEEAAААННННННННН"

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Anon is a camping expert | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/05/21(Mon)11:44:34 No.64448617 Have you taken the NPCpill yet, /r9k/ >Be me, social retard >Work is always difficult because I literally can't make friends >Never have any idea what to talk about 89 KB JPG >Like the idea of camping >Decide I'm going to be the Camp Bro NPC >No matter what, no matter how minor the question or subject is at work, always tie in camping or at minimum a camping pun >Any time l'm away from my desk I put a "Gone Fishing" sign up >Start to wear plaid and camo, drink my coffee out of a thermos >People are annoyed at first, but ignore it >Eventually people start to talk to me about camping, asking for places, ideas, how to do stuff >Start to make friends, coworkers want to do a BBQ by the river and invite me and have me help plan it >it goes great and I b------- my way through everything >"Whoa, you're a pretty cool guy, anon!" >mfw I've never been camping and just browse /out/ too much 6 Replies View Thread
: Anonymous 07/05/21(Mon)11:44:34 No.64448617 Have you taken the NPCpill yet, /r9k/ >Be me, social retard >Work is always difficult because I literally can't make friends >Never have any idea what to talk about 89 KB JPG >Like the idea of camping >Decide I'm going to be the Camp Bro NPC >No matter what, no matter how minor the question or subject is at work, always tie in camping or at minimum a camping pun >Any time l'm away from my desk I put a "Gone Fishing" sign up >Start to wear plaid and camo, drink my coffee out of a thermos >People are annoyed at first, but ignore it >Eventually people start to talk to me about camping, asking for places, ideas, how to do stuff >Start to make friends, coworkers want to do a BBQ by the river and invite me and have me help plan it >it goes great and I b------- my way through everything >"Whoa, you're a pretty cool guy, anon!" >mfw I've never been camping and just browse /out/ too much 6 Replies View Thread

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Haven't heard from anon since then | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/05/21(Mon)10:11:23 No.16384938 >low on money >try to find food to eat in my home >everything is past expiration >kerrygold aged cheddar >honey bunches of oats >trolli sour gummy worms >eat all 3 at once 28 KB JPG >feel fine BORRRRRRRRRRRRRRNN TO BE WIIIIIII IILLLLDDD : Anonymous 07/05/21(Mon)10:12:16 No.16384940 Be sure to post the aftermath.
: Anonymous 07/05/21(Mon)10:11:23 No.16384938 >low on money >try to find food to eat in my home >everything is past expiration >kerrygold aged cheddar >honey bunches of oats >trolli sour gummy worms >eat all 3 at once 28 KB JPG >feel fine BORRRRRRRRRRRRRRNN TO BE WIIIIIII IILLLLDDD : Anonymous 07/05/21(Mon)10:12:16 No.16384940 Be sure to post the aftermath.

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Anon can’t find a stable job | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/30/21(Fri)18:52:06 No.853322162 >graduated from college in 2015 >haven't had a stable job ever, only short contract positions that lasted a couple months then laid me off >90% of "'entry level"" jobs require 3+ years work experience plus 4 different certifications plus 10 different 97 KB PNG skills >the remaining 10% are s----- call center jobs that nobody wants to work >parents keep accusing me of "not wanting a job" because I don't have one, despite the fact that l'm applying to 5-6 jobs every week and following up end my existence
: Anonymous 04/30/21(Fri)18:52:06 No.853322162 >graduated from college in 2015 >haven't had a stable job ever, only short contract positions that lasted a couple months then laid me off >90% of "'entry level"" jobs require 3+ years work experience plus 4 different certifications plus 10 different 97 KB PNG skills >the remaining 10% are s----- call center jobs that nobody wants to work >parents keep accusing me of "not wanting a job" because I don't have one, despite the fact that l'm applying to 5-6 jobs every week and following up end my existence

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Anon gets bullied by mum | /r/Greentext

Anonymous Mum bullied me today 07/05/21(Mon)14:56:38 No.62435856 >be another day of lifting weights, cooking fresh meals, and relaxing >mum comes home from work at 8pm (she runs a law firm) >sees me on the couch, freshly showered after 197 KB JPG eating dinner >mum looks at me and starts going off >"So is this what your life's going to be, you go to the gym, come home, eat, sleep and s---? You're a f------ loser, seriously, a near 30 year old f------ loser, I had 3 kids and was running a team of 20 lawyers by your age, and all you do is lifting those f------ weights, you're a f------ loser" : Anonymous 07/05/21(Mon)14:57:34 No.62435865 respond with "wagecuck boomer triggered seethe" etc >>62435870 # >>62436009 # >>62436047 # >>62436166 # >>62436297 # >>62436453 # >>62437278 # >>62437908 #
Anonymous Mum bullied me today 07/05/21(Mon)14:56:38 No.62435856 >be another day of lifting weights, cooking fresh meals, and relaxing >mum comes home from work at 8pm (she runs a law firm) >sees me on the couch, freshly showered after 197 KB JPG eating dinner >mum looks at me and starts going off >"So is this what your life's going to be, you go to the gym, come home, eat, sleep and s---? You're a f------ loser, seriously, a near 30 year old f------ loser, I had 3 kids and was running a team of 20 lawyers by your age, and all you do is lifting those f------ weights, you're a f------ loser" : Anonymous 07/05/21(Mon)14:57:34 No.62435865 respond with "wagecuck boomer triggered seethe" etc >>62435870 # >>62436009 # >>62436047 # >>62436166 # >>62436297 # >>62436453 # >>62437278 # >>62437908 #

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