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Anon uses reddit. | /r/Greentext


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Anon calls me out | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/03/19(Sat)01:04:52 No.806179622 >Be you >Reddit F-- >Looking for some juicy morsels for r/greentext to raise your karma by 10 like the sniveling dog that you are, waiting for your 4chan overlords to allow you to glimpse at our scraps. 424 KB PNG >Post this one f-----. I'll be watching. 2 Replies / 1 Image View Thread
: Anonymous 08/03/19(Sat)01:04:52 No.806179622 >Be you >Reddit F-- >Looking for some juicy morsels for r/greentext to raise your karma by 10 like the sniveling dog that you are, waiting for your 4chan overlords to allow you to glimpse at our scraps. 424 KB PNG >Post this one f-----. I'll be watching. 2 Replies / 1 Image View Thread

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Anon faces the Snow fucker 5000 | /r/Greentext

9:25 89% Imagine, >its 1990 >soviet russia >youre drinking bathtub vodka in apartment 28573b6 >you hear a dull roar in the distance >"war planes?!?" Says your babushka >"no, just that damn snow blower.... oh f---" > you realize youve left your lada niva parked on the curb >run down all 47 flights of stairs in your track suit >knock over a burning barrel with someones kabobs cooking on it as you come out the door >babushkas yelling at you through the courtyard >you get in your lada just as the snow f----- 5000 rolls around the corner >you try to start it but your comrades at the lada factory didnt give a f--- about wiring and nothing happens >it vaporises a dog standing on the sidewalk as it approaches > you panickedly kick the dash with your adidas knock offs and the sole tears off one >the lada sputters to life with the rocket plow only seconds away >you go to put it in gear and it just grinds like mad > some gypseys stole your transmission fluid to start the barrel fire in the courtyard >mr plow has arrived comrade >the plow operator hangs out the window bottle in hand laughing like a mad man >the heat of 10 million dead gulag slaves beats itself upon your toaster shaped automobile >the interior plastics melt back into beat soup >tires pop and glue themselves to the street >you finally free yourself from the soviet death oven >have to mail in a complaint to the authorities to see if you can get another car >9 months later they reply that your great grand child will get 2 loaves of bread and the matter is officially closed What are the political implications of using jet engines to melt snow ? YTIOF9FJ · 2h (11/15 6:44) · 347669129
9:25 89% Imagine, >its 1990 >soviet russia >youre drinking bathtub vodka in apartment 28573b6 >you hear a dull roar in the distance >"war planes?!?" Says your babushka >"no, just that damn snow blower.... oh f---" > you realize youve left your lada niva parked on the curb >run down all 47 flights of stairs in your track suit >knock over a burning barrel with someones kabobs cooking on it as you come out the door >babushkas yelling at you through the courtyard >you get in your lada just as the snow f----- 5000 rolls around the corner >you try to start it but your comrades at the lada factory didnt give a f--- about wiring and nothing happens >it vaporises a dog standing on the sidewalk as it approaches > you panickedly kick the dash with your adidas knock offs and the sole tears off one >the lada sputters to life with the rocket plow only seconds away >you go to put it in gear and it just grinds like mad > some gypseys stole your transmission fluid to start the barrel fire in the courtyard >mr plow has arrived comrade >the plow operator hangs out the window bottle in hand laughing like a mad man >the heat of 10 million dead gulag slaves beats itself upon your toaster shaped automobile >the interior plastics melt back into beat soup >tires pop and glue themselves to the street >you finally free yourself from the soviet death oven >have to mail in a complaint to the authorities to see if you can get another car >9 months later they reply that your great grand child will get 2 loaves of bread and the matter is officially closed What are the political implications of using jet engines to melt snow ? YTIOF9FJ · 2h (11/15 6:44) · 347669129

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Neither here nor there | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/15/21(Mon)17:51:01 No.66173978 >be me >have woman in my DMs who's waiting for my response >too horny to talk, need to be level headed so I coom >post nut clarity kicks in >why would I want to talk to a 22 KB JPG woman?? >mfw either too horny or not horny enough
: Anonymous 11/15/21(Mon)17:51:01 No.66173978 >be me >have woman in my DMs who's waiting for my response >too horny to talk, need to be level headed so I coom >post nut clarity kicks in >why would I want to talk to a 22 KB JPG woman?? >mfw either too horny or not horny enough

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Anon was horny | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/20/21(Mon)12:45:46 No.863465')58 >Be me. Super horny middle school boy >Searching for a--- p---, found some where a girl used a toy on a guy's butthole. He had a massive orgasm >Brightidea.exe. I'll stick something up my butt and j-------. >But what to stick in my butt? 130 KB JPG >Improvise.exe I got one of my mom's tampons. I figured I could use the string that pull it out >Stick it up there. Fire up some p---. Start jacking off. I guess I clenched my butthole. The tampon shot way up into the dark recesses of my anus. panic.png >Try to find it. Spend a solid 30 minutes with my finger up my ass >Figure l'll s--- it out later. I must have shoved it deeper, then the tampon must have expanded. It formed some kind of awful plug. I did not s--- for days >After about 8-9 days the constipation is so bad that I can barely stand up >Parents take me to the emergency. They do an x-ray and see a blockage. The doctor asks what it is. I say that it's a tampon. He asks why I have a tampon up my ass. I explain that I thought it would feel good. >He tries to get it out with me lying on my side, while a nurse is pulling one knee up to my chest. No luck. >He has me get in the face down ass up position, tells me that the lube is making the tampon slippery, and rams three fingers up my ass, while the nurse holds me down. Pulls the tampon out, and I instantly take a massive disgusting s--- that fills an entire bedpan with week old turd. >My parents were in the room the whole time. >The orgasm was average
: Anonymous 09/20/21(Mon)12:45:46 No.863465')58 >Be me. Super horny middle school boy >Searching for a--- p---, found some where a girl used a toy on a guy's butthole. He had a massive orgasm >Brightidea.exe. I'll stick something up my butt and j-------. >But what to stick in my butt? 130 KB JPG >Improvise.exe I got one of my mom's tampons. I figured I could use the string that pull it out >Stick it up there. Fire up some p---. Start jacking off. I guess I clenched my butthole. The tampon shot way up into the dark recesses of my anus. panic.png >Try to find it. Spend a solid 30 minutes with my finger up my ass >Figure l'll s--- it out later. I must have shoved it deeper, then the tampon must have expanded. It formed some kind of awful plug. I did not s--- for days >After about 8-9 days the constipation is so bad that I can barely stand up >Parents take me to the emergency. They do an x-ray and see a blockage. The doctor asks what it is. I say that it's a tampon. He asks why I have a tampon up my ass. I explain that I thought it would feel good. >He tries to get it out with me lying on my side, while a nurse is pulling one knee up to my chest. No luck. >He has me get in the face down ass up position, tells me that the lube is making the tampon slippery, and rams three fingers up my ass, while the nurse holds me down. Pulls the tampon out, and I instantly take a massive disgusting s--- that fills an entire bedpan with week old turd. >My parents were in the room the whole time. >The orgasm was average

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Anon tries to be a chad | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 697474857 20 min. ago alright guys this is it i'm officially retarded > be me > 22 years old f----- > in town for some reason > hungry as f--- so i decide to eat some subway > take doritos bag with it because why the f--- not > finish sandwich, not hungry anymore > feelsgood.jpeg > put doritos bag in my backpack and take the bus back home > meet some girl in the bus who was in highschool with me, but probably don't remember me > solid 8/10 > make eye contact, sit in front of her > pushes back against the seat like a comfortable badass i tried to pretend i am > doritos bag explodes under the pressure > loud as f--- explosion > everyone looks at me > looks girl straight in the eye and says allahu akbar > mfw when she will now forever remember me as the retarded doritos terrorist
Anonymous 697474857 20 min. ago alright guys this is it i'm officially retarded > be me > 22 years old f----- > in town for some reason > hungry as f--- so i decide to eat some subway > take doritos bag with it because why the f--- not > finish sandwich, not hungry anymore > feelsgood.jpeg > put doritos bag in my backpack and take the bus back home > meet some girl in the bus who was in highschool with me, but probably don't remember me > solid 8/10 > make eye contact, sit in front of her > pushes back against the seat like a comfortable badass i tried to pretend i am > doritos bag explodes under the pressure > loud as f--- explosion > everyone looks at me > looks girl straight in the eye and says allahu akbar > mfw when she will now forever remember me as the retarded doritos terrorist

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Anon is dating a girl | /r/Greentext

Dating a leftist girl SFA gun No.25135371 October 20 p---- from a gird who keeps a day planner My girlfriend is an sjw type leftist and it's been causing a lot of problems in our relationship. For the record, l'm not a Republican, I voted for Biden. But the stuff she does it completely out of control. For example: there's a local sandwich shop in my town that I really like, it's owned by a black husband and wife. My girlfriend yelled at me for "visiting without explicitly wearing something or otherwise identifying myself as an anti-oppressor" and that it could be "aggressive" have black people prepare me food because of the legacy of slavery. In her eyes, l'd have to wear some BLM apparel or something for it to be okay to order a sandwich from these people. ..yeah. batshit insane. I'm aware. Is there anything I can do? I don't want to "convert" her or anything, I just want us to agree to disagree. Is that remotely possible for a girl this far crazy? 7 replies
Dating a leftist girl SFA gun No.25135371 October 20 p---- from a gird who keeps a day planner My girlfriend is an sjw type leftist and it's been causing a lot of problems in our relationship. For the record, l'm not a Republican, I voted for Biden. But the stuff she does it completely out of control. For example: there's a local sandwich shop in my town that I really like, it's owned by a black husband and wife. My girlfriend yelled at me for "visiting without explicitly wearing something or otherwise identifying myself as an anti-oppressor" and that it could be "aggressive" have black people prepare me food because of the legacy of slavery. In her eyes, l'd have to wear some BLM apparel or something for it to be okay to order a sandwich from these people. ..yeah. batshit insane. I'm aware. Is there anything I can do? I don't want to "convert" her or anything, I just want us to agree to disagree. Is that remotely possible for a girl this far crazy? 7 replies

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Anon is autistic still | /r/Greentext

Retarded stories thread. >Be me >17at the time >really into tf2 trading >unboxed first unusual >retard sends low ball offer >refuse to sell it to him for 28 keys pure >"-rep probably autistic" >the quote above is spammed on my steam account >w-- >get banned from Vatican unusual trade because all the negative rep. >I still have the hat though >worth 300 keys now. >still autistic though
Retarded stories thread. >Be me >17at the time >really into tf2 trading >unboxed first unusual >retard sends low ball offer >refuse to sell it to him for 28 keys pure >"-rep probably autistic" >the quote above is spammed on my steam account >w-- >get banned from Vatican unusual trade because all the negative rep. >I still have the hat though >worth 300 keys now. >still autistic though

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Anon is a retard | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/15/21(Mon)18:33:57 No.866759290 Jesus: You see that man over there? He's a >Will be found innocent on all p---. That guy over there, he beats his girl. This other kid is not a medic he's a burglar. >The one charge he is unequivocally guilty of (illegal possession of a deadly weapon) thrown out by the judge because he is obviously biased JESUS SAVES >Prosecution is too retarded or doesn't 151 KB JPG care >Kangaroo court >Kyle will make millions on having a book ghostwritten, commissioned appearances fees at hog events, and other ventures shilling to conservations. So I guess the moral here is that if you travel to a BLM protest deliberately armed to score legal kills in a purple or red states you get rewarded. With the way things are playing out this was the best thing Kyle could've done for his future. Very cool. 72 Replies / 9 Images View Thread
: Anonymous 11/15/21(Mon)18:33:57 No.866759290 Jesus: You see that man over there? He's a >Will be found innocent on all p---. That guy over there, he beats his girl. This other kid is not a medic he's a burglar. >The one charge he is unequivocally guilty of (illegal possession of a deadly weapon) thrown out by the judge because he is obviously biased JESUS SAVES >Prosecution is too retarded or doesn't 151 KB JPG care >Kangaroo court >Kyle will make millions on having a book ghostwritten, commissioned appearances fees at hog events, and other ventures shilling to conservations. So I guess the moral here is that if you travel to a BLM protest deliberately armed to score legal kills in a purple or red states you get rewarded. With the way things are playing out this was the best thing Kyle could've done for his future. Very cool. 72 Replies / 9 Images View Thread

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Anon got mugged by girls | /r/Greentext

Anonymous No.619019470 21 minutes ago >16 years old >walking to the bus stop to go to school >group of girls walking behind me >hear one say "you dare me?" >the other one say "I double dare you" >This bitch blindsides me and swings her fist into my temple from behind >Thatfuckishappening.jpg >l fall face first into concrete >the other two laugh as my nose bleed >get up >she got all up in my face, shoved me and yelled, "Whatchu gonna do about it, f-----? Hit a girl?" >Dont tempt me bitch >slammed my palm into her face and knocked her the f--- out >mfw they call me a monster >mfw they sream women beater What do you guys think of girls using their gender to protect themselves 5 replies
Anonymous No.619019470 21 minutes ago >16 years old >walking to the bus stop to go to school >group of girls walking behind me >hear one say "you dare me?" >the other one say "I double dare you" >This bitch blindsides me and swings her fist into my temple from behind >Thatfuckishappening.jpg >l fall face first into concrete >the other two laugh as my nose bleed >get up >she got all up in my face, shoved me and yelled, "Whatchu gonna do about it, f-----? Hit a girl?" >Dont tempt me bitch >slammed my palm into her face and knocked her the f--- out >mfw they call me a monster >mfw they sream women beater What do you guys think of girls using their gender to protect themselves 5 replies

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Anon played himself | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/15/21(Mon)22:42:53 No.66172394 >go to sex shop >approach attendant (female) >clears throath >Could you give me some sex, please? >l'm in the sex offender registry 771 KB GIF now >Mfw
: Anonymous 11/15/21(Mon)22:42:53 No.66172394 >go to sex shop >approach attendant (female) >clears throath >Could you give me some sex, please? >l'm in the sex offender registry 771 KB GIF now >Mfw

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Anon has a plan | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/15/21(Mon)12:12:46 No.866742109 >cuddling with gf >she is half sleep >suddently release a fat >IM SORRY, IM SORRY, IM SORRY ANON!!!! IM SO ASHAMED >the smell is the most delicious 29 KB JPG scent ive ever sniffed >feign like i don't care to reassure her that she is still sexy for me >secretly get addicted to her farts >lve always thought that cooking is for women and f------ but learn to do it anyway because i wsnted to cook things that will make her have delicious farts for me to sniff >she doesn't suspect a thing when i often press her tummy while cuddling to force her to fart keikaku.exe Anons i'm in love, i don't think i could ever belong to any other woman, her farts are amazing, my favorites are the ones that smell like Lasagna, i get super aroused when i think that such wonderful smell came from her pink anus, i love her pale ass so much.
: Anonymous 11/15/21(Mon)12:12:46 No.866742109 >cuddling with gf >she is half sleep >suddently release a fat >IM SORRY, IM SORRY, IM SORRY ANON!!!! IM SO ASHAMED >the smell is the most delicious 29 KB JPG scent ive ever sniffed >feign like i don't care to reassure her that she is still sexy for me >secretly get addicted to her farts >lve always thought that cooking is for women and f------ but learn to do it anyway because i wsnted to cook things that will make her have delicious farts for me to sniff >she doesn't suspect a thing when i often press her tummy while cuddling to force her to fart keikaku.exe Anons i'm in love, i don't think i could ever belong to any other woman, her farts are amazing, my favorites are the ones that smell like Lasagna, i get super aroused when i think that such wonderful smell came from her pink anus, i love her pale ass so much.

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Don't dream it | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/15/21(Mon)05:33:14 No.866742632 >be me >baked >invent a new social media >it is a media unlike no other >РеpеBook >Instead of "friending" you draw a 32 KB JPG pepe on each other's "wall" >PepeBook m------------
: Anonymous 11/15/21(Mon)05:33:14 No.866742632 >be me >baked >invent a new social media >it is a media unlike no other >РеpеBook >Instead of "friending" you draw a 32 KB JPG pepe on each other's "wall" >PepeBook m------------

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We’re falling apart to half time | /r/Greentext


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Anon blackmails his mom | /r/Greentext


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Anon is the hero we deserved | /r/Greentext


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