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Method acting gone wrong | /r/Greentext

Anonymous Heath ledger's joker diary(...) 07/03/24(Wed)12:01:05 No.200828481 THINGS THAT MAKE ME LAUGH Blind babies Land mines AIDS Beloved pets in road accidents. Statistics Pencil Cases BRUNCH! The periodic table YOU HAVE UNTIL MIDNIGHT TO CHANGE YOUR MIND, FRANCIS IF YOU DON'T YOU'LL BE THE POOREST FISH OF ALL-- of elements --AND DEAD AS A MACKEREL! HATH WHAT AHAH Like a grub growing all wrong in a tiled cocoon, like a caterpillar liquefying to filth in its own nightmares, or a fetus dissolving in sewage and sour milk, the Joker dreams, awake. His is the mal ojo, the evil eye. He wills Death upon the world. Bowel cancer. Fish being gutted. Mister Ed. Guns in schools. Cripples. Racism. Breathing slowly in his bright and boundless Hell, the Clown Prince of Cruelty dreams a new face, a new world, a Year Zero. An unforgettable golden age of blood-red comedy and crime! Alzheimer's. The mosquito, meanwhile, gets the message, shudders and falls from the Joker's hand. Blind and crippled, it spins in circles on the radiant floor, choking on tainted blood. The-Dark-Knight-Heath-Ledger-s-Joker-Diary-4~2.jpg 205 KB JPG >Oh no I spent 30 days in a hotel room in going literally insane!!! Why are normals so cringe?
Anonymous Heath ledger's joker diary(...) 07/03/24(Wed)12:01:05 No.200828481 THINGS THAT MAKE ME LAUGH Blind babies Land mines AIDS Beloved pets in road accidents. Statistics Pencil Cases BRUNCH! The periodic table YOU HAVE UNTIL MIDNIGHT TO CHANGE YOUR MIND, FRANCIS IF YOU DON'T YOU'LL BE THE POOREST FISH OF ALL-- of elements --AND DEAD AS A MACKEREL! HATH WHAT AHAH Like a grub growing all wrong in a tiled cocoon, like a caterpillar liquefying to filth in its own nightmares, or a fetus dissolving in sewage and sour milk, the Joker dreams, awake. His is the mal ojo, the evil eye. He wills Death upon the world. Bowel cancer. Fish being gutted. Mister Ed. Guns in schools. Cripples. Racism. Breathing slowly in his bright and boundless Hell, the Clown Prince of Cruelty dreams a new face, a new world, a Year Zero. An unforgettable golden age of blood-red comedy and crime! Alzheimer's. The mosquito, meanwhile, gets the message, shudders and falls from the Joker's hand. Blind and crippled, it spins in circles on the radiant floor, choking on tainted blood. The-Dark-Knight-Heath-Ledger-s-Joker-Diary-4~2.jpg 205 KB JPG >Oh no I spent 30 days in a hotel room in going literally insane!!! Why are normals so cringe?

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Anon is Fat | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 08/22/18(Wed)01:29:11 No.47665686 074e7c5b-329e-49d7-b555-91929a374b37.jpg 57 KB JPG >be me >Watching Netflix health documentary >"haha fat people" >They're filming fatties in the street >"hey, I have that shirt" >"hey, I have those cargo shorts" >"hey, I know that building" >mfw 1 Reply Anonymous View Thread 08/22/18(Wed)01:31:06 No.47665705 so dont be fat you fat idiot
Anonymous 08/22/18(Wed)01:29:11 No.47665686 074e7c5b-329e-49d7-b555-91929a374b37.jpg 57 KB JPG >be me >Watching Netflix health documentary >"haha fat people" >They're filming fatties in the street >"hey, I have that shirt" >"hey, I have those cargo shorts" >"hey, I know that building" >mfw 1 Reply Anonymous View Thread 08/22/18(Wed)01:31:06 No.47665705 so dont be fat you fat idiot

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Id run too. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 26 KB JPG 02/16/22(Wed)03:05:28 No.163991421 >get used to talking to myself because I live alone with two cats >Say dumb s--- constantly, really awkward jokes and non-sequitur threats towards the cats >Wake up early one morning to creaking sounds of what I assume is a cat pushing s--- around on the kitchen counter >Yell down the hallway >"SOMEBODY'S GOING TO BE REALLY UPSET WHEN I HOLD THEM DOWN AND STAB THEIR A------ WITH A KNITTING NEEDLE!" >Hear my back door open and close and my chain link gate clatter shut
Anonymous 26 KB JPG 02/16/22(Wed)03:05:28 No.163991421 >get used to talking to myself because I live alone with two cats >Say dumb s--- constantly, really awkward jokes and non-sequitur threats towards the cats >Wake up early one morning to creaking sounds of what I assume is a cat pushing s--- around on the kitchen counter >Yell down the hallway >"SOMEBODY'S GOING TO BE REALLY UPSET WHEN I HOLD THEM DOWN AND STAB THEIR A------ WITH A KNITTING NEEDLE!" >Hear my back door open and close and my chain link gate clatter shut

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Special stories for special soldiers | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 100 KB JPG >middle of test 06/17/15(Wed)13:45:14 No.622330744 Retarded stories thread >be me >be in first grade >taking test >teacher tells us if we can't do a problem, put a smile face >look up at teacher >smile as hard as I can >hold smile for a solid 2 mins >mfw placed into special Ed next week
Anonymous 100 KB JPG >middle of test 06/17/15(Wed)13:45:14 No.622330744 Retarded stories thread >be me >be in first grade >taking test >teacher tells us if we can't do a problem, put a smile face >look up at teacher >smile as hard as I can >hold smile for a solid 2 mins >mfw placed into special Ed next week

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Anon takes a dump | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 13 KB PNG >be me 07/06/24(Sat) 19:36:25 No.78071730 >take a fat s--- >literally the stinkiest s--- i have ever taken in my life >can not see a morsel of toilet water after i finish unleashing my buttbaby >try to flush >toilet sounds like a drowning cat unable to swallow my beast >stomp it down the toilet drain >eventually force it down the pipe >walk into the kitchen to eat dinner with mom dad and my sister >they ask why there is literal s--- on both of my feet >say its a new skincare routine >they dont say anything so i just grab my dinner and go into my room like usual >long story short i have to move out before the end of the week w-- did i do?
Anonymous 13 KB PNG >be me 07/06/24(Sat) 19:36:25 No.78071730 >take a fat s--- >literally the stinkiest s--- i have ever taken in my life >can not see a morsel of toilet water after i finish unleashing my buttbaby >try to flush >toilet sounds like a drowning cat unable to swallow my beast >stomp it down the toilet drain >eventually force it down the pipe >walk into the kitchen to eat dinner with mom dad and my sister >they ask why there is literal s--- on both of my feet >say its a new skincare routine >they dont say anything so i just grab my dinner and go into my room like usual >long story short i have to move out before the end of the week w-- did i do?

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Love to ride | /r/Greentext

⠀ Anonymous (ID: xZT4FDE4 ) alamy 250 KB JPG 07/07/24(Sun)05:45:36 No.473277295 >new bike rental app in town >first 30 minutes of every rental is free >get bike to work because train repairs >takes more than 30 minutes >have to pay €1 >try to end rental >"you have to drive 5km back to an assigned return station or a fee may be charged" >return stations are not even shown on the map >f--- it, i'll just ride it back after work >ride home on s----- bike >drop it off according to app >pay another €1 >no extra fee has been charged >app still says fee may be charged >deactivate card number for safety >2 days later >need to rent a bike again >"you have outstanding payments"
⠀ Anonymous (ID: xZT4FDE4 ) alamy 250 KB JPG 07/07/24(Sun)05:45:36 No.473277295 >new bike rental app in town >first 30 minutes of every rental is free >get bike to work because train repairs >takes more than 30 minutes >have to pay €1 >try to end rental >"you have to drive 5km back to an assigned return station or a fee may be charged" >return stations are not even shown on the map >f--- it, i'll just ride it back after work >ride home on s----- bike >drop it off according to app >pay another €1 >no extra fee has been charged >app still says fee may be charged >deactivate card number for safety >2 days later >need to rent a bike again >"you have outstanding payments"

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Nervous at a High School Party | /r/Greentext

☐ Anonymous 10/09/20(Fri)12:49:00 No.837537736 >>837531201 interesting story i've got. >me in high school >pretty normal, have a few friends >sit by this girl in chem >get to talking to her, nice girl >mentions party >asks me if i would like to go >say no at first, embarrassed at the idea of seeing people in public >decide f--- it >tell her next day i'm interested in going >couple days later, party >arrive, see this gorgeous blonde girl >nervous, don't talk to her >underage drinking >she eventually approaches me >sweaty palms >talk to her for a little bit, awkward >"hey anon, have you heard about the game before?" >leave
☐ Anonymous 10/09/20(Fri)12:49:00 No.837537736 >>837531201 interesting story i've got. >me in high school >pretty normal, have a few friends >sit by this girl in chem >get to talking to her, nice girl >mentions party >asks me if i would like to go >say no at first, embarrassed at the idea of seeing people in public >decide f--- it >tell her next day i'm interested in going >couple days later, party >arrive, see this gorgeous blonde girl >nervous, don't talk to her >underage drinking >she eventually approaches me >sweaty palms >talk to her for a little bit, awkward >"hey anon, have you heard about the game before?" >leave

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Double standards | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 07/04/24(Thu)21:47:46 No.200889682 3285682460934.png 407 KB PNG >can show butts, d---- and male assholes >but can't show a woman's t--- I PLEDGE A TO THE THE UNITE OF AM
Anonymous 07/04/24(Thu)21:47:46 No.200889682 3285682460934.png 407 KB PNG >can show butts, d---- and male assholes >but can't show a woman's t--- I PLEDGE A TO THE THE UNITE OF AM

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Spends $65 on printer ink | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 07/06/24(Sat)15:42:18 No.78069863 >Be me, entrepreneur >Have a printer >Print off a bunch of mini US flags >Glue to the popsicle sticks >Take them to trump rally >Sell them >Make $37.68 >See ya later poors 1.65 MB PNG
Anonymous 07/06/24(Sat)15:42:18 No.78069863 >Be me, entrepreneur >Have a printer >Print off a bunch of mini US flags >Glue to the popsicle sticks >Take them to trump rally >Sell them >Make $37.68 >See ya later poors 1.65 MB PNG

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New gymanon gets advice | /r/Greentext

Newgymguy Gym advices 10 4mm 7om 0 80. 0 2 abe 5 M way9 3 69 KB JPG 07/06/24(Sat) 19:26:00 No.920934056 I have recently gotten into gym however I am not so fluent so I had a friend help me out. So far he is doing great but he is also giving me some strange advices that I have never seen around. Do u guys they are valid? he advised me to take psyllium husk to help with indigestion caused by my new diet and sunflowers seeds Recently he suggested to wear large butt plug while training that will help me strengthen my pelvic floor as I works out, thus lowering the likelihood of rectal prolapse or similar medical catastrophe And just recently he suggested to use a c--- cage to incanalate the energy and prevent to be weak for gym. I have done all the others but this Idk tbh : Anonymous 07/06/24(Sat)19:27:22 No.920934114 >>920934056 (OP) # Use steroids >>920934169 #
Newgymguy Gym advices 10 4mm 7om 0 80. 0 2 abe 5 M way9 3 69 KB JPG 07/06/24(Sat) 19:26:00 No.920934056 I have recently gotten into gym however I am not so fluent so I had a friend help me out. So far he is doing great but he is also giving me some strange advices that I have never seen around. Do u guys they are valid? he advised me to take psyllium husk to help with indigestion caused by my new diet and sunflowers seeds Recently he suggested to wear large butt plug while training that will help me strengthen my pelvic floor as I works out, thus lowering the likelihood of rectal prolapse or similar medical catastrophe And just recently he suggested to use a c--- cage to incanalate the energy and prevent to be weak for gym. I have done all the others but this Idk tbh : Anonymous 07/06/24(Sat)19:27:22 No.920934114 >>920934056 (OP) # Use steroids >>920934169 #

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Anon gets a steal | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/06/24(Sat) 18:19:40 No.920931127 I just got approved for a zero down, 31 percent interest, 72 month plan with 350 credit for a dodge hellcat. Did I get a steal? 44 KB JPG : Anonymous 07/06/24(Sat) 18:22:34 No.920931242 >>920931127 (OP) # Modern "muscle cars" are gay
: Anonymous 07/06/24(Sat) 18:19:40 No.920931127 I just got approved for a zero down, 31 percent interest, 72 month plan with 350 credit for a dodge hellcat. Did I get a steal? 44 KB JPG : Anonymous 07/06/24(Sat) 18:22:34 No.920931242 >>920931127 (OP) # Modern "muscle cars" are gay

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Anon dreams of a better life | /r/Greentext

Anonymous The good ending 112 KB JPG 07/06/24(Sat) 17:57:34 No.78067806 Wouldn't it be the dream to be reincarnated as the dog of an upper middle class white family who spend a disproportionate amount of time and money on their pets? >Play catch with the kids >Get headpats and petting all day long >Gourmet dog food cuisine >Walkies in the park on sunny days >Sometimes f--- the mom because she has a b--------- fetish >Premium Dog bed to take naps in >Beloved by everyone until you die of old age Truly the dream
Anonymous The good ending 112 KB JPG 07/06/24(Sat) 17:57:34 No.78067806 Wouldn't it be the dream to be reincarnated as the dog of an upper middle class white family who spend a disproportionate amount of time and money on their pets? >Play catch with the kids >Get headpats and petting all day long >Gourmet dog food cuisine >Walkies in the park on sunny days >Sometimes f--- the mom because she has a b--------- fetish >Premium Dog bed to take naps in >Beloved by everyone until you die of old age Truly the dream

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Anon is a npc | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 05/10/21(Mon)07:51:26 No.63603986 >At work >Known at work as the guy who collects lighters >Coworker gives me a lighter he found >"Aw nice, thanks bro." 624 KB PNG my mind >Opinion of that person went up in >Think about it later that day >Realize I'm a 'collect x amount of y" npc >mfw
Anonymous 05/10/21(Mon)07:51:26 No.63603986 >At work >Known at work as the guy who collects lighters >Coworker gives me a lighter he found >"Aw nice, thanks bro." 624 KB PNG my mind >Opinion of that person went up in >Think about it later that day >Realize I'm a 'collect x amount of y" npc >mfw

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Anon is a virgin | /r/Greentext

Anonymous What do 10 KB JPG 07/06/24(Sat)07:06:37 No.920921429 >be me, a decent looking teenager >chilling with friends in a call >hear of this one guy who will f--- his girl next week, losing his virginity >later, another guy (which had a girl and isnt a virgin anymore) tells me that you gotta use instagram and snapchat to get girls I dont use either of those, both of those seem to me like b-------. So is it actually true that you have to use them to get girls at my age?
Anonymous What do 10 KB JPG 07/06/24(Sat)07:06:37 No.920921429 >be me, a decent looking teenager >chilling with friends in a call >hear of this one guy who will f--- his girl next week, losing his virginity >later, another guy (which had a girl and isnt a virgin anymore) tells me that you gotta use instagram and snapchat to get girls I dont use either of those, both of those seem to me like b-------. So is it actually true that you have to use them to get girls at my age?

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Unseen assault | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/01/24(Mon)21:43:09 No.200753640 images (4).jpg 25 KB JPG > The character becomes invisible. > the first thing he does is try to r--- women. I'm tired of this s---
: Anonymous 07/01/24(Mon)21:43:09 No.200753640 images (4).jpg 25 KB JPG > The character becomes invisible. > the first thing he does is try to r--- women. I'm tired of this s---

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Women love bears | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/30/24(Sun)23:04:32 No.200706394 we that The_Bear_101_20210707_0043.jpg 263 KB JPG >DUDE I am so tough with my big scary muscles and my doodle tattoos and my long hair and how I shout at people for doing their jobs and I do drugs like weed and acid cause I'm cool asf and I also have sex with all the women I want Why do women find this type of "male" attractive?
: Anonymous 06/30/24(Sun)23:04:32 No.200706394 we that The_Bear_101_20210707_0043.jpg 263 KB JPG >DUDE I am so tough with my big scary muscles and my doodle tattoos and my long hair and how I shout at people for doing their jobs and I do drugs like weed and acid cause I'm cool asf and I also have sex with all the women I want Why do women find this type of "male" attractive?

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Operation Snuck Hunt | /r/Greentext

File: Untitled104_20240705230158.png (707 KB, 2232x1048) T >say you have a nintendo zapper Anonymous 07/05/24(Fri)23:07:59 No.62015693 ► >nintendo zapper and automag look similar >paint an automag to look like a nintendo zapper >walk into a living room full of old grandmas with bad eyesight >go to a room where theres an NES in, and hide the .44 AMP automag somehwere >you have successfully snuck a gun into a house.
File: Untitled104_20240705230158.png (707 KB, 2232x1048) T >say you have a nintendo zapper Anonymous 07/05/24(Fri)23:07:59 No.62015693 ► >nintendo zapper and automag look similar >paint an automag to look like a nintendo zapper >walk into a living room full of old grandmas with bad eyesight >go to a room where theres an NES in, and hide the .44 AMP automag somehwere >you have successfully snuck a gun into a house.

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Agency Africa | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 07/05/24(Fri)06:53:47 No.78050016 3 小红书 小红书号:603669754 1719546529075928.jpg 74 KB JPG I'm being forced to get a job >10 hour shifts >hour round trip commute >8 hours of sleep >hour to cook for myself and shower I literally will only have 4 hours of free time to myself. I just want to die. I want to kill myself.
Anonymous 07/05/24(Fri)06:53:47 No.78050016 3 小红书 小红书号:603669754 1719546529075928.jpg 74 KB JPG I'm being forced to get a job >10 hour shifts >hour round trip commute >8 hours of sleep >hour to cook for myself and shower I literally will only have 4 hours of free time to myself. I just want to die. I want to kill myself.

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Anon goes to parties | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 38 KB JPG >>20631686 # >>20633010 # 06/26/24(Wed)17:37:00 No.20622768 >>20622331 (OP) # >be f------, don't drink >go to friend's parties >drink all their coke and eat their chicken wings >they can't do anything because they're drunk and assume they just can't find the coke bottle
: Anonymous 38 KB JPG >>20631686 # >>20633010 # 06/26/24(Wed)17:37:00 No.20622768 >>20622331 (OP) # >be f------, don't drink >go to friend's parties >drink all their coke and eat their chicken wings >they can't do anything because they're drunk and assume they just can't find the coke bottle

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Anon is going to have an unhealthy relationship | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 244 KB JPG 07/05/24(Fri)13:43:30 No.78057852 >be me 18yr old christian 125 ibs >start working at nursing home in the food department >Everyone there really likes me >meet pretty girl who's basically the female version of me. Likes the same music, same games, we have the same humor. >except she has a bf and is atheist >they break up >I start posting bible verses and proof of christianity on my story >she starts to like my stories more often. Long story short we are now dating.
Anonymous 244 KB JPG 07/05/24(Fri)13:43:30 No.78057852 >be me 18yr old christian 125 ibs >start working at nursing home in the food department >Everyone there really likes me >meet pretty girl who's basically the female version of me. Likes the same music, same games, we have the same humor. >except she has a bf and is atheist >they break up >I start posting bible verses and proof of christianity on my story >she starts to like my stories more often. Long story short we are now dating.

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