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Anon finds rare Pokemon | /r/Greentext

>The hambeast Meghan Trainor is performing at SJSU tonight >Tons of Pokemon Go players walking around campus >Walk past some normies playing it >"Hey guys, do you want to catch 1.5 MB GIF a Snorlax?" >"No way!" "Where'd you find it?" >"At the Stadium, Meghan Trainor is performing tonight!" >"OMG!" "That's f----- up!" "F--- you!" >mfw
>The hambeast Meghan Trainor is performing at SJSU tonight >Tons of Pokemon Go players walking around campus >Walk past some normies playing it >"Hey guys, do you want to catch 1.5 MB GIF a Snorlax?" >"No way!" "Where'd you find it?" >"At the Stadium, Meghan Trainor is performing tonight!" >"OMG!" "That's f----- up!" "F--- you!" >mfw

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Anon is single | /r/Greentext

[Return] [Catalog] [Bottom] [Update] [UAuto] File: thumb_aidan-you-should-st(.).png (40 KB, 300x334) O Anonymous 01/31/21(Sun)13:12:46 No.846193430 ► >l asked out a girl >She refused, but her face blushed >Find wins where you can [Return] [Catalog] [Top] [Update] [DAuto]
[Return] [Catalog] [Bottom] [Update] [UAuto] File: thumb_aidan-you-should-st(.).png (40 KB, 300x334) O Anonymous 01/31/21(Sun)13:12:46 No.846193430 ► >l asked out a girl >She refused, but her face blushed >Find wins where you can [Return] [Catalog] [Top] [Update] [DAuto]

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Anon goes grocery shopping | /r/Greentext


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Anon rejects a girl | /r/Greentext

le: download (1).png (48 KB, 219x219) Anonymous 02/01/21(Mon)00:10:42 No.846193331 >be me, aged 15 >regular day at school >cute girl walks to me before chemistry class is about to start >"hey anon how have you been" >"uh, good thanks" >"hey anon i actually really like you" >w--.jpeg >try to say "that's very flattering" >accidentally say "that's very depressing" >tell her i'm sorry it just slipped out >she took it like a champ and said it's ok never talked to her again
le: download (1).png (48 KB, 219x219) Anonymous 02/01/21(Mon)00:10:42 No.846193331 >be me, aged 15 >regular day at school >cute girl walks to me before chemistry class is about to start >"hey anon how have you been" >"uh, good thanks" >"hey anon i actually really like you" >w--.jpeg >try to say "that's very flattering" >accidentally say "that's very depressing" >tell her i'm sorry it just slipped out >she took it like a champ and said it's ok never talked to her again

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Anon is the Green Goblin | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous El Goblino Verde 01/29/21(Fri)21:31:24 No.59604720 >apartmentfag >lockpickfag >parents are richfags so I can buy dumb expensive useless things once in a blue moon >unit next to me keeps having loud femdom sex every now and then and it literally sounds like two special needs children 314 KB JPG f------ >binge raimi spiderman because sleeping is impossible with this noise >decide to turn the volume up during the green goblin fight scene to annoy the couple making goat sex noises >girl bangs on the wall and tells me to shut the f--- up >leave room >put on picrel helmet >pick neighbour's door >kick open bedroom door "I'M THE GREEN F------ GOBLIN, YOU HAVE 5 SECONDS TO SHUT THE F--- UP AND TAKE YOUR DISGUSTING COPULATION ELSEWHERE" >l'm 6'3 manlet >guy is 5'9, on the floor with a strap on up his ass so he can't do s--- >girl is close to my height but clearly s------- herself >deathstare at the couple for a few seconds before leaving and laughing my ass off >finish spiderman 1 at max volume while neighbours still audibly s------- themselves
: Anonymous El Goblino Verde 01/29/21(Fri)21:31:24 No.59604720 >apartmentfag >lockpickfag >parents are richfags so I can buy dumb expensive useless things once in a blue moon >unit next to me keeps having loud femdom sex every now and then and it literally sounds like two special needs children 314 KB JPG f------ >binge raimi spiderman because sleeping is impossible with this noise >decide to turn the volume up during the green goblin fight scene to annoy the couple making goat sex noises >girl bangs on the wall and tells me to shut the f--- up >leave room >put on picrel helmet >pick neighbour's door >kick open bedroom door "I'M THE GREEN F------ GOBLIN, YOU HAVE 5 SECONDS TO SHUT THE F--- UP AND TAKE YOUR DISGUSTING COPULATION ELSEWHERE" >l'm 6'3 manlet >guy is 5'9, on the floor with a strap on up his ass so he can't do s--- >girl is close to my height but clearly s------- herself >deathstare at the couple for a few seconds before leaving and laughing my ass off >finish spiderman 1 at max volume while neighbours still audibly s------- themselves

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Anon plays soccer | /r/Greentext

O Anonymous 12/07/11(Wed)16:28 No.5220706 Reposting my all time favorite greentext. >playing soccer in gym >ball is up in the air >think I'm gonna be awesome and air kick it into the goal >try >miss ball >kick goalie in the face >try to ask "Are you okay?" and "Im f------ sorry." at the same time >instead end up yelling "ARE YOU F------ SORRY!?" >goalie is choking back tears
O Anonymous 12/07/11(Wed)16:28 No.5220706 Reposting my all time favorite greentext. >playing soccer in gym >ball is up in the air >think I'm gonna be awesome and air kick it into the goal >try >miss ball >kick goalie in the face >try to ask "Are you okay?" and "Im f------ sorry." at the same time >instead end up yelling "ARE YOU F------ SORRY!?" >goalie is choking back tears

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Neet leaf is on the big bux | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous •i International neets 07/03/16(Sun)11:39:08 No.61618487 Who here /neet/? Feels good man. I pretended to have schizophrenia by yelling and making a scene at the benefits office and that in combination 149 KB PNG with the time I got hospitalized for trying to kill myself over Wow helped me score over $2000/month in neetbux. How are my fellow neets experience with the bux in their country? I'm extremely cozy.
: Anonymous •i International neets 07/03/16(Sun)11:39:08 No.61618487 Who here /neet/? Feels good man. I pretended to have schizophrenia by yelling and making a scene at the benefits office and that in combination 149 KB PNG with the time I got hospitalized for trying to kill myself over Wow helped me score over $2000/month in neetbux. How are my fellow neets experience with the bux in their country? I'm extremely cozy.

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Anon is a crumb dealer | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/13/17(Mon)15:30:03 No.18926794 I've become a bread crumb dealer to 4 crows in my local lake. And they pay me with a bit of everything. Shiny stuff, fabric, pens etc. But recently they paid me with 20$ they've found somewhere. So i decided to buy them some more 868 KB JPG expensive bread. They loved it. So they understand what to do. Give me dollar notes. And i've problamy racked up 200$ at this point. Is it morally wrong though, i mean. They're the ones who steals it from someone. Or perhaps they just got a big pile laying somewhere. Should i keep on doing this? 7 Replies / 1 Image View Thread
: Anonymous 11/13/17(Mon)15:30:03 No.18926794 I've become a bread crumb dealer to 4 crows in my local lake. And they pay me with a bit of everything. Shiny stuff, fabric, pens etc. But recently they paid me with 20$ they've found somewhere. So i decided to buy them some more 868 KB JPG expensive bread. They loved it. So they understand what to do. Give me dollar notes. And i've problamy racked up 200$ at this point. Is it morally wrong though, i mean. They're the ones who steals it from someone. Or perhaps they just got a big pile laying somewhere. Should i keep on doing this? 7 Replies / 1 Image View Thread

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Anon gets trips | /r/Greentext

O Anonymous 01/26/21(Tue)10:37:34 No.845555555 >lf this post gets trips, I cut my balls off with a rusty nail. roll
O Anonymous 01/26/21(Tue)10:37:34 No.845555555 >lf this post gets trips, I cut my balls off with a rusty nail. roll

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Anon is free | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/15/17(Fri)01:35:55 No.753827470 >>753827365 # >be american >internet is blocked >bored >go outside >get shot >>753827522 # >>753827523 #
: Anonymous 12/15/17(Fri)01:35:55 No.753827470 >>753827365 # >be american >internet is blocked >bored >go outside >get shot >>753827522 # >>753827523 #

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Still better than Rotten Tomatoes | /r/Greentext

How do you rate your movies? >Watch the only first 10 minute of the movie >go to random dot org, roll a number between 1 and 10 >Go to imdb, punch the rolled number in >Go to 4 channel dot org, create a off topic thread about p---, politics or youtube. Derail other threads until ban >Reset router >Repeat This is the daily life of a kinoisseur
How do you rate your movies? >Watch the only first 10 minute of the movie >go to random dot org, roll a number between 1 and 10 >Go to imdb, punch the rolled number in >Go to 4 channel dot org, create a off topic thread about p---, politics or youtube. Derail other threads until ban >Reset router >Repeat This is the daily life of a kinoisseur

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Anon likes milk | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous ultimate virgin story 01/14/19(Mon)17:22:23 No.50422139 >Family is hiding the milk away from me because im a bit overweight >start crying 39 KB JPG : Anonymous 01/14/19(Mon)17:53:29 No.50422520 >>50422139 (OP) # >milk How much milk are you drinking fatty
: Anonymous ultimate virgin story 01/14/19(Mon)17:22:23 No.50422139 >Family is hiding the milk away from me because im a bit overweight >start crying 39 KB JPG : Anonymous 01/14/19(Mon)17:53:29 No.50422520 >>50422139 (OP) # >milk How much milk are you drinking fatty

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Anon is confused | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/29/21(Fri)18:16:05 No.846070977 I'm so confused right now. >Be me at bar >Walking to back patio to drink outside >A girl literally pulls me on top of her on a pool table 42 KB JPG >We start talking >This guy starts talking to me while I'm talking to her >Hey anon, this is my husband >She starts grinding on me while her husband is talking to me having a conversation like normal >She asks me to come home with her >Riding home with them thinking they're into cuckolding >We get there, she makes a bed on the couch and says "we'll see you in the morning anon" >They go upstairs and shut the door >She makes me breakfast in the morning and drives me home What?
: Anonymous 01/29/21(Fri)18:16:05 No.846070977 I'm so confused right now. >Be me at bar >Walking to back patio to drink outside >A girl literally pulls me on top of her on a pool table 42 KB JPG >We start talking >This guy starts talking to me while I'm talking to her >Hey anon, this is my husband >She starts grinding on me while her husband is talking to me having a conversation like normal >She asks me to come home with her >Riding home with them thinking they're into cuckolding >We get there, she makes a bed on the couch and says "we'll see you in the morning anon" >They go upstairs and shut the door >She makes me breakfast in the morning and drives me home What?

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The rape dwarves are real | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/30/21(Sat)20:34:14 No.846161232 >be me >kek at r--- dwarve posts >Think "That'll never be me" >See more and more cases of r--- dwarves >Get Paranoid a bit >Only one in house one night >Playing skyrim 583 KB JPG >Hear a bump in the walls, disregard it continue playing skyrim. >Hear it again but its followed by a Hohohoho >HOLYFUCKTHEYEXIST.Jpg| >Barely misses my face with his c--- >it darts off into the darkness >ldea.png >Goes into the basement and gets to the gun safe >I hear them walking across the floor above me, i stay quiet so they dont hear me >Load up like that scene with arnold in Commando >fuckyeah.gif >Looking like a vietnam Gl armed with a Ar-15 >Hear more coming after me This may be the end /b/ros Ifi survive i'll give an update : Anonymous 01/30/21(Sat)20:37:01 No.846161439 Best of luck to you! They almost got to me not too long ago, but I was able to get them off of me by s------- and pissing myself while they held me down.
: Anonymous 01/30/21(Sat)20:34:14 No.846161232 >be me >kek at r--- dwarve posts >Think "That'll never be me" >See more and more cases of r--- dwarves >Get Paranoid a bit >Only one in house one night >Playing skyrim 583 KB JPG >Hear a bump in the walls, disregard it continue playing skyrim. >Hear it again but its followed by a Hohohoho >HOLYFUCKTHEYEXIST.Jpg| >Barely misses my face with his c--- >it darts off into the darkness >ldea.png >Goes into the basement and gets to the gun safe >I hear them walking across the floor above me, i stay quiet so they dont hear me >Load up like that scene with arnold in Commando >fuckyeah.gif >Looking like a vietnam Gl armed with a Ar-15 >Hear more coming after me This may be the end /b/ros Ifi survive i'll give an update : Anonymous 01/30/21(Sat)20:37:01 No.846161439 Best of luck to you! They almost got to me not too long ago, but I was able to get them off of me by s------- and pissing myself while they held me down.

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Anon has his priorities straight | /r/Greentext

O Anonymous 05/24/12(Thu)08:10:11 No.2545562 >be at party >9/10 checking me out >dance with her >stare in eyes >shes got moon earrings >F--- JUST REMEMBERED >run out of party >drive home >spend whole night checking out lunar eclipse >no regrets
O Anonymous 05/24/12(Thu)08:10:11 No.2545562 >be at party >9/10 checking me out >dance with her >stare in eyes >shes got moon earrings >F--- JUST REMEMBERED >run out of party >drive home >spend whole night checking out lunar eclipse >no regrets

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Anon misses out on GME stonks. | /r/Greentext

| Anonymous (ID: 2rghcRhd 11/04/20(Wed)15:28:02 No.287412051 >world's destiny is in the hands of drug addicts, alcoholics, gamblers, hookers and degenerates 287 KB PNG : Anonymous (ID: WUAOU589 11/04/20(Wed)15:28:32 No.287412288 >>287412051 (OP) # As it should be >>287412763 # >>287414072 # >>287415106 # >>287415188 # >>287416935 # >>287418225 # >>287421065 # >>287421239 # >>287422731 # >>287423448 #
| Anonymous (ID: 2rghcRhd 11/04/20(Wed)15:28:02 No.287412051 >world's destiny is in the hands of drug addicts, alcoholics, gamblers, hookers and degenerates 287 KB PNG : Anonymous (ID: WUAOU589 11/04/20(Wed)15:28:32 No.287412288 >>287412051 (OP) # As it should be >>287412763 # >>287414072 # >>287415106 # >>287415188 # >>287416935 # >>287418225 # >>287421065 # >>287421239 # >>287422731 # >>287423448 #

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American public healthcare | /r/Greentext

>>1993659 # Dude. Imagine if one day you woke up, and all they were talking about on the news was how Mexicans are all arguing about whether airplanes are possible. And you're like "Da f--?" And the next day they are still arguing about whether airplanes are possible, and it's become a major election issue. And you're like "Wut. Don't these assholes know that everybody already has airplanes??" And then a couple of years later they're still arguing about it. And one side is saying "AIRPLANES ARE IMPOSSIBLE, THEY WOULD KILL EVERYONE ON BOARD!" and the other side is like "NO, AIRPLANES ARE TOTALLY POSSIBLE, WE CAN DO IT IF WE SET OUR MINDS TO IT!" and the moderates are all like "WELL MAYBE AIRPLANES ARE POSSIBLE, BUT NOBODY WILL EVER BE ABLE TO AFFORD THEM, BUT WE CAN DEFINITELY AIM FOR GLIDERS AND MAYBE THAT WILL WORK!" And you're like "Should...should somebody tell these morons about airplanes being widely available absolutely everywhere? Is this a great big misunderstanding, or are these assholes honestly spending a whole generation arguing about whether something is possible while everyone else has grown up doing it?" And this goes on for 30 more f------ years. And one Mexican passes a law that says everyone has to participate in hang gliding, and half of the other Mexicans are constantly trying to get rid of that law because hang gliding is just one step away from putting everyone into an airplane and killing them all. Imagine how f------ perplexed you would be. This is exactly what it feels like for everyone else when Americans start talking about public healthcare.
>>1993659 # Dude. Imagine if one day you woke up, and all they were talking about on the news was how Mexicans are all arguing about whether airplanes are possible. And you're like "Da f--?" And the next day they are still arguing about whether airplanes are possible, and it's become a major election issue. And you're like "Wut. Don't these assholes know that everybody already has airplanes??" And then a couple of years later they're still arguing about it. And one side is saying "AIRPLANES ARE IMPOSSIBLE, THEY WOULD KILL EVERYONE ON BOARD!" and the other side is like "NO, AIRPLANES ARE TOTALLY POSSIBLE, WE CAN DO IT IF WE SET OUR MINDS TO IT!" and the moderates are all like "WELL MAYBE AIRPLANES ARE POSSIBLE, BUT NOBODY WILL EVER BE ABLE TO AFFORD THEM, BUT WE CAN DEFINITELY AIM FOR GLIDERS AND MAYBE THAT WILL WORK!" And you're like "Should...should somebody tell these morons about airplanes being widely available absolutely everywhere? Is this a great big misunderstanding, or are these assholes honestly spending a whole generation arguing about whether something is possible while everyone else has grown up doing it?" And this goes on for 30 more f------ years. And one Mexican passes a law that says everyone has to participate in hang gliding, and half of the other Mexicans are constantly trying to get rid of that law because hang gliding is just one step away from putting everyone into an airplane and killing them all. Imagine how f------ perplexed you would be. This is exactly what it feels like for everyone else when Americans start talking about public healthcare.

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Let it go, let it go | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/30/21(Sat)21:05:35 No.62105627 >grow up with cold distant parents >never learn to show affection >have girls be nice to me and try to flirt >ignore them or be rude to them >get girlfriend >go to her house 45 KB JPG >her parents hug and talk >her siblings are social and kind to me >a whole different world >something I never had growing up
: Anonymous 01/30/21(Sat)21:05:35 No.62105627 >grow up with cold distant parents >never learn to show affection >have girls be nice to me and try to flirt >ignore them or be rude to them >get girlfriend >go to her house 45 KB JPG >her parents hug and talk >her siblings are social and kind to me >a whole different world >something I never had growing up

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Anon is a good kid | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous I had the best dad 12/15/18(Sat)19:08:31 No.49862882 > Be me > Years ago. Still in womb. > Hear dad whispering nice poems. > Gonnabeagoodlife.mp3 > Hear dad leave for work. > Hear mom invite over 'Tyrone' > Black hose starts knocking 285 KB JPG against my head. > Hear dad come back and cry. > Hear mom beg for forgiveness. > Says he's staying for me. > mfw I realize this wonderful man is going to get stuck with this thot because of me. > Cant let that happen. > Decide to poison her toth bloodstream > Gonnatakeyoudownwithme.divx > Hear dad in hospital say goodbye to me and mom. > Hear moms heart beat stop before mine does. Goodbye dad. You deserve a better life.
: Anonymous I had the best dad 12/15/18(Sat)19:08:31 No.49862882 > Be me > Years ago. Still in womb. > Hear dad whispering nice poems. > Gonnabeagoodlife.mp3 > Hear dad leave for work. > Hear mom invite over 'Tyrone' > Black hose starts knocking 285 KB JPG against my head. > Hear dad come back and cry. > Hear mom beg for forgiveness. > Says he's staying for me. > mfw I realize this wonderful man is going to get stuck with this thot because of me. > Cant let that happen. > Decide to poison her toth bloodstream > Gonnatakeyoudownwithme.divx > Hear dad in hospital say goodbye to me and mom. > Hear moms heart beat stop before mine does. Goodbye dad. You deserve a better life.

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Anon goes to the restroom. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/30/21(Sat)14:05:37 No.846144088 >take s--- in school bathroom during lunch >kids come into the bathroom talking about naruto saying the n word >one of them noticed you taking a s--- >they all go quiet >a good 5 seconds of silence passes by 4 KB JPG before the first wet paper towel gracefully flies over the stall wall >be victim to a barrage of wet paper towels for a good 10 seconds >once the barrage stops they start banging on the stall doors and making noises >"look at this f----- retard taking a s---" >you can only sit in silence as they laugh >they all frantically scatter out of the bathroom while chuckling >you hear slow footsteps coming back >the lights flicker off as the last man scurries away laughing uncontrollably >engulfed in darkness
: Anonymous 01/30/21(Sat)14:05:37 No.846144088 >take s--- in school bathroom during lunch >kids come into the bathroom talking about naruto saying the n word >one of them noticed you taking a s--- >they all go quiet >a good 5 seconds of silence passes by 4 KB JPG before the first wet paper towel gracefully flies over the stall wall >be victim to a barrage of wet paper towels for a good 10 seconds >once the barrage stops they start banging on the stall doors and making noises >"look at this f----- retard taking a s---" >you can only sit in silence as they laugh >they all frantically scatter out of the bathroom while chuckling >you hear slow footsteps coming back >the lights flicker off as the last man scurries away laughing uncontrollably >engulfed in darkness

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