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Anon the master of manipulation also a dumbass | /r/Greentext

GCDFMT1G (OP) · 13m (9/17 13:26) · 339503657 O Re · O Img JPG 223KB (2400 × 1800) >company mandates vaccine deadline >tell everyone I'm gonna get it first thing >don't actually get it >pretend to start limping on right leg right after >anon what's wrong? is your leg alright? >yeah l'm fine. the vaccine is safe and effective >but y-your leg.. >THE VACCINE IS SAFE AND EFFECTIVE >they're visibly getting second thoughts >nobody even asks for proof >supervisor suddenly super nice to me
GCDFMT1G (OP) · 13m (9/17 13:26) · 339503657 O Re · O Img JPG 223KB (2400 × 1800) >company mandates vaccine deadline >tell everyone I'm gonna get it first thing >don't actually get it >pretend to start limping on right leg right after >anon what's wrong? is your leg alright? >yeah l'm fine. the vaccine is safe and effective >but y-your leg.. >THE VACCINE IS SAFE AND EFFECTIVE >they're visibly getting second thoughts >nobody even asks for proof >supervisor suddenly super nice to me

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Anon seeks employment | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/12/21(Sun)23:57:38 No.65359888 Anyone experienced in the p--- industry? I want to star in as a cuck. I have perfect looK for it. >Balding >Slightly overweight >Glasses 96 KB JPG >Well groomed beard >Small limp penis >White >Middle aged looking but still young Will a career in p---------- help me moneymax?
: Anonymous 09/12/21(Sun)23:57:38 No.65359888 Anyone experienced in the p--- industry? I want to star in as a cuck. I have perfect looK for it. >Balding >Slightly overweight >Glasses 96 KB JPG >Well groomed beard >Small limp penis >White >Middle aged looking but still young Will a career in p---------- help me moneymax?

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Training brah | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/09/21(Thu)15:28:43 No.63427407 >Decided Im going to gym for the last time today because Im demotivated have less time and even after two years I can tell that my workout is not effective/l have terrible technique 17 KB JPG >As Im on my last exercise two gymbros start talking to me about my gym plan and how they have seen me doing some exercises wrong >They show me a bunch of really good exercises I never even seen on youtube before along with proper form >They invite me to come with them on monday and thursday Gym intervention on the last f------ day h--------. Nobody ever talked to me when I was at gym and suddenly bam. Based zyzz watching over me
: Anonymous 09/09/21(Thu)15:28:43 No.63427407 >Decided Im going to gym for the last time today because Im demotivated have less time and even after two years I can tell that my workout is not effective/l have terrible technique 17 KB JPG >As Im on my last exercise two gymbros start talking to me about my gym plan and how they have seen me doing some exercises wrong >They show me a bunch of really good exercises I never even seen on youtube before along with proper form >They invite me to come with them on monday and thursday Gym intervention on the last f------ day h--------. Nobody ever talked to me when I was at gym and suddenly bam. Based zyzz watching over me

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Anon helps his bully | /r/Greentext

Anonymous Tue 14 Sep 2021 15:56:37 No.863083361 View >be me like 9 years ago in school >get bullied daily >one day bully approaches me >tells me to do his homework >says if I don't he will beat me up or some s--- >ffw to being at home >doing bully's homework >get a idea >"What if I c-- on his homework?", I think to myself >start jacking off until I c-- on his homework >let it sit for a bit before wiping it off >now there a c-- stains >ffw to next day >be almost late to math class on purpose so that my bully can't look at it enough to see the c-- stains >he(my bully) takes it fast so he can give it to the teacher >class starts and we're doing some retarded f-- math while our teacher is looking at the homework >teacher notices the c-- stain >yells at my bully that he disgusting >bully starts to get nervous and says "ANON DID IT, HE DID MY HOMEWORK!" >teacher asks me >say no >teacher leaves with him to the principles office >ffw a month >haven't see bully since the incident >rumors that he moved >ffw two months >find out that he killed himself lol don't f--- with me c---
Anonymous Tue 14 Sep 2021 15:56:37 No.863083361 View >be me like 9 years ago in school >get bullied daily >one day bully approaches me >tells me to do his homework >says if I don't he will beat me up or some s--- >ffw to being at home >doing bully's homework >get a idea >"What if I c-- on his homework?", I think to myself >start jacking off until I c-- on his homework >let it sit for a bit before wiping it off >now there a c-- stains >ffw to next day >be almost late to math class on purpose so that my bully can't look at it enough to see the c-- stains >he(my bully) takes it fast so he can give it to the teacher >class starts and we're doing some retarded f-- math while our teacher is looking at the homework >teacher notices the c-- stain >yells at my bully that he disgusting >bully starts to get nervous and says "ANON DID IT, HE DID MY HOMEWORK!" >teacher asks me >say no >teacher leaves with him to the principles office >ffw a month >haven't see bully since the incident >rumors that he moved >ffw two months >find out that he killed himself lol don't f--- with me c---

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Anon is a coomer | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/07/21(Sat)21:06:26 No.860564771 >be me >hear new tiktok voice over >make joi so I can coom later >coom literal diamonds thank you Chinese spyware 276 KB JPG
: Anonymous 08/07/21(Sat)21:06:26 No.860564771 >be me >hear new tiktok voice over >make joi so I can coom later >coom literal diamonds thank you Chinese spyware 276 KB JPG

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Anon invites a friend over | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/16/21(Thu)13:13:28 No.863209633 >>863209037 >be 11 dad fix his car >friends dad came over to help my >my friend cames over too >don't have anything to do >idea.png >Decided to play truth or dare >he dares me to take off mine clothes >i did it >I dare him to do the same >he doesn't want >tell him to take off his clothes or to suck mine d--- >he decided to suck me off >then he dares me to suck him off >i do it >i told him that sex feels good >Tried to do a--- >We were dumb so we didn't lube first >we give up on have seX >l him suck him a little more And that's when i became a f--
: Anonymous 09/16/21(Thu)13:13:28 No.863209633 >>863209037 >be 11 dad fix his car >friends dad came over to help my >my friend cames over too >don't have anything to do >idea.png >Decided to play truth or dare >he dares me to take off mine clothes >i did it >I dare him to do the same >he doesn't want >tell him to take off his clothes or to suck mine d--- >he decided to suck me off >then he dares me to suck him off >i do it >i told him that sex feels good >Tried to do a--- >We were dumb so we didn't lube first >we give up on have seX >l him suck him a little more And that's when i became a f--

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Laughing all the way to the bank | /r/Greentext


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Anon goes to Egypt | /r/Greentext

14h (9/16 9:24) · 29773333 35 Re · 5 Img · JPG · 14KB · (271 × 293) 19 Replies >make my tulpa run around >my cat chases it >make my tulpa hit someone >they felt it What have I discovered /x/? 9h (9/16 14:09) · 29774982 JPG 44KB · (852 × 478) 1 Reply >>29773333 (OP) You have a stand now. Use it to assassinate Xi Jinping 9h (9/16 14:23) · 29775076 PNG 283KB · (475 × 526) >>29773333 (OP) >What have I discovered /x/? Power
14h (9/16 9:24) · 29773333 35 Re · 5 Img · JPG · 14KB · (271 × 293) 19 Replies >make my tulpa run around >my cat chases it >make my tulpa hit someone >they felt it What have I discovered /x/? 9h (9/16 14:09) · 29774982 JPG 44KB · (852 × 478) 1 Reply >>29773333 (OP) You have a stand now. Use it to assassinate Xi Jinping 9h (9/16 14:23) · 29775076 PNG 283KB · (475 × 526) >>29773333 (OP) >What have I discovered /x/? Power

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Irrational numbers | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Still astounded by normies "ra(...) 09/16/21(Thu)05:49:16 No.65402111 >be me >25 >Mom calls me up to say the garage door is busted and she needs a hand (I'm 5 minutes drive away) >Get there 444 KB PNG >Easy problem, just came out of alignment and needs sliding back back in >Go inside to get the work gloves >Come out and see that my mom has yanked it out in frustration, broken it, and made the problem a hundred times more difficult >She tells that she thought it was in the way and that's what was causing the problem >Be me >go visit my sister >Sister is going through financial trouble (strange as her and her partner earn the most out of our family) >Go upstairs into her partner's office >Literally filled with the $1000 each Lego Star wars sets all over the room >End up going into the kitchen >See a brand new cafe grade barrista machine >Sister tells me that she doesn't use it as they still make it better at all the coffee shops Why the f--- do normies not have an ounce of rational thinking? Those are just family examples, but I've seen similar s--- elsewhere.
: Anonymous Still astounded by normies "ra(...) 09/16/21(Thu)05:49:16 No.65402111 >be me >25 >Mom calls me up to say the garage door is busted and she needs a hand (I'm 5 minutes drive away) >Get there 444 KB PNG >Easy problem, just came out of alignment and needs sliding back back in >Go inside to get the work gloves >Come out and see that my mom has yanked it out in frustration, broken it, and made the problem a hundred times more difficult >She tells that she thought it was in the way and that's what was causing the problem >Be me >go visit my sister >Sister is going through financial trouble (strange as her and her partner earn the most out of our family) >Go upstairs into her partner's office >Literally filled with the $1000 each Lego Star wars sets all over the room >End up going into the kitchen >See a brand new cafe grade barrista machine >Sister tells me that she doesn't use it as they still make it better at all the coffee shops Why the f--- do normies not have an ounce of rational thinking? Those are just family examples, but I've seen similar s--- elsewhere.

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Blood on the tracks | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/16/21(Thu)10:03:05 No.65403936 >friend rants to me about vaccines >red pill him about how bill gates died in 2013, that the current bill and Melinda are clones and that the shadow government are using their wealth to fund and distribute 5G nanomachines via rna 'vaccines' that alter the human genome and turn us into will slaves that are to be offered up as sacrifices to an inter-dimensional blood god that the elites worship and their ultimate aim to create a unified disconsciousness that they milk physic energy from by tormenting our souls in pseudo-purgatory granting themselves immortality in the process so that they can leave earth in rocket ships and spread the blood curse across the universe >wow dude that's crazy
: Anonymous 09/16/21(Thu)10:03:05 No.65403936 >friend rants to me about vaccines >red pill him about how bill gates died in 2013, that the current bill and Melinda are clones and that the shadow government are using their wealth to fund and distribute 5G nanomachines via rna 'vaccines' that alter the human genome and turn us into will slaves that are to be offered up as sacrifices to an inter-dimensional blood god that the elites worship and their ultimate aim to create a unified disconsciousness that they milk physic energy from by tormenting our souls in pseudo-purgatory granting themselves immortality in the process so that they can leave earth in rocket ships and spread the blood curse across the universe >wow dude that's crazy

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Anon wants solutions | /r/Greentext

1/4 - mhiviERF (OP)· 9h (9/17 3:24) · 13471978 9 Re 2 Img JPG· 6KB · (182 × 277) 2 Replies >lit >lesssgo >fr >no cap >ion >bruh >rn >vibing >finna How do we fix this? Is it too late?
1/4 - mhiviERF (OP)· 9h (9/17 3:24) · 13471978 9 Re 2 Img JPG· 6KB · (182 × 277) 2 Replies >lit >lesssgo >fr >no cap >ion >bruh >rn >vibing >finna How do we fix this? Is it too late?

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Anon has a good day | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/16/20(Mon)08:37:11 No.130828055 >have Corvid-19 >feels good, literally barely worse that a cold >get told I'm on house quarantine >they literally have me on the honor system that I won't go 69 KB JPG outside >have been to McDonalds, 7-eleven, Post Office, Supermarket, Gamestop and stopped by work to say hi to everyone in the meantime >boss got really mad at me for showing up while sick, told me if I'm too sick to work I'm too sick to be at work >whatever >government call center calls me up to ask how I'm doing >tell them to hold on since l'm driving >they tell me to go home immediately >do 1hr at the gym then go home best sick day ever >>130828234 # >>130828258 # >>130828269 #
: Anonymous 03/16/20(Mon)08:37:11 No.130828055 >have Corvid-19 >feels good, literally barely worse that a cold >get told I'm on house quarantine >they literally have me on the honor system that I won't go 69 KB JPG outside >have been to McDonalds, 7-eleven, Post Office, Supermarket, Gamestop and stopped by work to say hi to everyone in the meantime >boss got really mad at me for showing up while sick, told me if I'm too sick to work I'm too sick to be at work >whatever >government call center calls me up to ask how I'm doing >tell them to hold on since l'm driving >they tell me to go home immediately >do 1hr at the gym then go home best sick day ever >>130828234 # >>130828258 # >>130828269 #

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Anon collaborates with Billie Ellish | /r/Greentext

I worked on the set of Billie Eilish's music video Bury A Friend shot back in November 2018. I can tell you that Billie is a verified retarded person. >She loudly farts and burps in front of everyone and although I didn't ask anyone l'm fairly certain she was wearing adult diapers >her assistant led her around the set by holding her hand and when we said something to her the assistant would translate it to her with different words and by pointing at things >Billie wanted a Capri Sun so I sat one in front of her and she stared at it for nearly an hour until I put the straw in it and then she sucked down the entire thing in one gulp >l had to place 10 Animal Crackers on a paper towel for her and as soon as she finished eating them she would look at me like a puppy and I had to place exactly 10 more Animal Crackers on her paper towel >she would stare at an IPad with a big smile on her face between shots and when I looked over her shoulder I saw she was watching Paw Patrol >she definitely has Turrettes that makes her twitch and contort her face and speaks of herself in third person, ie. "Billie wants to sleep" or "Billie need drink" The list goes on but I give you my 100% guarantee that Billie Eilish is an adult with special needs.
I worked on the set of Billie Eilish's music video Bury A Friend shot back in November 2018. I can tell you that Billie is a verified retarded person. >She loudly farts and burps in front of everyone and although I didn't ask anyone l'm fairly certain she was wearing adult diapers >her assistant led her around the set by holding her hand and when we said something to her the assistant would translate it to her with different words and by pointing at things >Billie wanted a Capri Sun so I sat one in front of her and she stared at it for nearly an hour until I put the straw in it and then she sucked down the entire thing in one gulp >l had to place 10 Animal Crackers on a paper towel for her and as soon as she finished eating them she would look at me like a puppy and I had to place exactly 10 more Animal Crackers on her paper towel >she would stare at an IPad with a big smile on her face between shots and when I looked over her shoulder I saw she was watching Paw Patrol >she definitely has Turrettes that makes her twitch and contort her face and speaks of herself in third person, ie. "Billie wants to sleep" or "Billie need drink" The list goes on but I give you my 100% guarantee that Billie Eilish is an adult with special needs.

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Bringing down the house | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/16/21(Thu)23:54:08 No.65412200 >10 years old and staying with family over christmas >room I'm staying in has thin walls that reverb when you touch them hard enough >get massive farts from christmas lunch 33 KB JPG >later that evening decide to press my ass to the wall and let loose >entire wall shakes from my brap >room feels like it's echoing my fart for a good few seconds after l'm done >keep doing it every time I need to fart because I'm mesmerized >it's been a few days and my family have asked me if they've heard any strange sounds coming from my room >say no but keep doing it >night before we leave I get a massive fart built up in me >press my ass to the wall and let loose >didn't hear that my uncle was in the hall when I did it >hear him shout "what is that f------ noise!?" as he enters the room >sees me pants down, ass against his wall, moments after I ripped a fart that would knock down Thor himself >he tells everyone in my family >still get called wall farter until this day I was a f------ retarded kid
: Anonymous 09/16/21(Thu)23:54:08 No.65412200 >10 years old and staying with family over christmas >room I'm staying in has thin walls that reverb when you touch them hard enough >get massive farts from christmas lunch 33 KB JPG >later that evening decide to press my ass to the wall and let loose >entire wall shakes from my brap >room feels like it's echoing my fart for a good few seconds after l'm done >keep doing it every time I need to fart because I'm mesmerized >it's been a few days and my family have asked me if they've heard any strange sounds coming from my room >say no but keep doing it >night before we leave I get a massive fart built up in me >press my ass to the wall and let loose >didn't hear that my uncle was in the hall when I did it >hear him shout "what is that f------ noise!?" as he enters the room >sees me pants down, ass against his wall, moments after I ripped a fart that would knock down Thor himself >he tells everyone in my family >still get called wall farter until this day I was a f------ retarded kid

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Anon almost gets murdered | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/17/21(Fri)07:09:10 No.65412695 Post the scariest experiences you've had >15 >cousin gets convicted for murdering three women 1.25 MB GIF >going through his house with family >one of my cousins from the other side of the family found a crawlspace >unironically said "I'm going in there to find dead bodies" >came out with a banker's box >envelopes full of pictures of his victims >ripped from the internet, taken while following them, etc >one of the envelopes was filled with pictures of me
: Anonymous 09/17/21(Fri)07:09:10 No.65412695 Post the scariest experiences you've had >15 >cousin gets convicted for murdering three women 1.25 MB GIF >going through his house with family >one of my cousins from the other side of the family found a crawlspace >unironically said "I'm going in there to find dead bodies" >came out with a banker's box >envelopes full of pictures of his victims >ripped from the internet, taken while following them, etc >one of the envelopes was filled with pictures of me

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Anon asks a question | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/13/18(Thu)13:28:16 No.787288109 >don't like eye contact >pick up random things they find >make random noises Are endermen autistic? 86 KB JPG
: Anonymous 12/13/18(Thu)13:28:16 No.787288109 >don't like eye contact >pick up random things they find >make random noises Are endermen autistic? 86 KB JPG

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Anon gets tricked, again | /r/Greentext

a8 O Anonymous (ID: IVZUMVB)) 09/12/12(Wed)19:38:38 No.424844538 There is no heaven >walking home from school >see giri I like also walking home >grow the balls to walk up to her >say hey to her >"Hi" >never really talked to her >awkward silence >aks me if I want to burn with her >f--- yes >go to park >she pulls out an ounce of weed >f--- yes >smoke 3 grams >high af >she asks me if I want to kiss her Only Lavender Town >f--- yes >we kiss >grabs my d--- >f--- yes >starts giving me a b------ >f------ awesome >asks me to finger her >never fingered a girl >feelsgood.jpg >asks me to put a finger in >feelsbetter.jpg >ask for 3 finger >does so >asks for my whole hand >wut >still does so >asks for both of my hands >more wut >does so >"I need more" >"what else do you need I have both my hands in your p----" >she looks me in the eye >"I need about tree fiddy" >it was about that time when I realized I had both of my hands in the vagina of a 8 storie tall crustacean from the paleozoic era >that god damned loch ness monster had tricked me again pic not related
a8 O Anonymous (ID: IVZUMVB)) 09/12/12(Wed)19:38:38 No.424844538 There is no heaven >walking home from school >see giri I like also walking home >grow the balls to walk up to her >say hey to her >"Hi" >never really talked to her >awkward silence >aks me if I want to burn with her >f--- yes >go to park >she pulls out an ounce of weed >f--- yes >smoke 3 grams >high af >she asks me if I want to kiss her Only Lavender Town >f--- yes >we kiss >grabs my d--- >f--- yes >starts giving me a b------ >f------ awesome >asks me to finger her >never fingered a girl >feelsgood.jpg >asks me to put a finger in >feelsbetter.jpg >ask for 3 finger >does so >asks for my whole hand >wut >still does so >asks for both of my hands >more wut >does so >"I need more" >"what else do you need I have both my hands in your p----" >she looks me in the eye >"I need about tree fiddy" >it was about that time when I realized I had both of my hands in the vagina of a 8 storie tall crustacean from the paleozoic era >that god damned loch ness monster had tricked me again pic not related

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The Patience of a Saint | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/15/21(Wed)01:09:18 No.863120388 >be me laying down for a nap >mind decides to do that cool thing of making you think of some embarrassing s--- from your past >remember when I was about 10-11 years old 28 KB JPG >doom movie just came out >come up with autistic plan >plug ps2 in and put in rented copy of movie on tv >fast forward to first person section of the movie >call my mom in to show her "this cool part of a game" >pretend Im playing the movie like a video game thinking she wouldnt know the difference >my mom sits on my bed and just watches >doesnt say anything >after about 45 seconds I start to feel embarrassed but I cant just stop because III look like an idiot I think to myself >mom patiently watches her retard of a son fake play a movie like a game for 4 and a half minutes >after the section of the movie is done I pause the movie with the remote I had under my leg >l put the controller down and ask if she thought it was cool >she says it was neat then gets up and leaves F------ end my life....
: Anonymous 09/15/21(Wed)01:09:18 No.863120388 >be me laying down for a nap >mind decides to do that cool thing of making you think of some embarrassing s--- from your past >remember when I was about 10-11 years old 28 KB JPG >doom movie just came out >come up with autistic plan >plug ps2 in and put in rented copy of movie on tv >fast forward to first person section of the movie >call my mom in to show her "this cool part of a game" >pretend Im playing the movie like a video game thinking she wouldnt know the difference >my mom sits on my bed and just watches >doesnt say anything >after about 45 seconds I start to feel embarrassed but I cant just stop because III look like an idiot I think to myself >mom patiently watches her retard of a son fake play a movie like a game for 4 and a half minutes >after the section of the movie is done I pause the movie with the remote I had under my leg >l put the controller down and ask if she thought it was cool >she says it was neat then gets up and leaves F------ end my life....

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Anon wants to rent an apartment | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/16/21(Thu)12:13:02 No.863206392 Added september I1, 2021 AZORY axis, BDB communication, premises for rent PLN 500 ņ PROMOTE C REFRESH Private Level: 3 Furnished: Yes Type of building: Other Area: 20 m2 Number of rooms: Studio apartment Rent (additionally): PLN 200 apartment.png 325 KB PNG >looking for a cheap apartment in Poland >the cheaper it is the more cursed the pictures get >sure I wanna rent a torture room
: Anonymous 09/16/21(Thu)12:13:02 No.863206392 Added september I1, 2021 AZORY axis, BDB communication, premises for rent PLN 500 ņ PROMOTE C REFRESH Private Level: 3 Furnished: Yes Type of building: Other Area: 20 m2 Number of rooms: Studio apartment Rent (additionally): PLN 200 apartment.png 325 KB PNG >looking for a cheap apartment in Poland >the cheaper it is the more cursed the pictures get >sure I wanna rent a torture room

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Anon leads his nephew | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/09/19(Sun)01:19:39 No.51107479 >have 11 year old nephew >comes over and stays for 3 days every week >suggest we play basketball daily >fix his s--- diet and correct his mouthbreathing >put him in difficult situations when 72 KB JPG it comes to socializing (forcing him to take the leader role) Anyone else making them father gains? : Anonymous 06/09/19(Sun)01:21:04 No.51107498 >>51107479 (OP) # Absolutely based and wholesome pilled
: Anonymous 06/09/19(Sun)01:19:39 No.51107479 >have 11 year old nephew >comes over and stays for 3 days every week >suggest we play basketball daily >fix his s--- diet and correct his mouthbreathing >put him in difficult situations when 72 KB JPG it comes to socializing (forcing him to take the leader role) Anyone else making them father gains? : Anonymous 06/09/19(Sun)01:21:04 No.51107498 >>51107479 (OP) # Absolutely based and wholesome pilled

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