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Anon finds a grandpa | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 471 KB JPG 03/31/21(Wed)13:31:05 No.850977444 >grandfather died before I was born >grandma lived a state away >never got to experience growing up with grandparents >eventually move out on my own >neighbors are an old couple >start getting to know them better >spend my days off with them >cook meals with the wife, share recipes >husband helps me with hobby projects, work on our cars together >feels like I finally have grandparents >leaving for work today >talk with the husband before I leave >"you have a good day at work, love you buddy" >love you too grandpa >mfw
: Anonymous 471 KB JPG 03/31/21(Wed)13:31:05 No.850977444 >grandfather died before I was born >grandma lived a state away >never got to experience growing up with grandparents >eventually move out on my own >neighbors are an old couple >start getting to know them better >spend my days off with them >cook meals with the wife, share recipes >husband helps me with hobby projects, work on our cars together >feels like I finally have grandparents >leaving for work today >talk with the husband before I leave >"you have a good day at work, love you buddy" >love you too grandpa >mfw

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Anon is alone | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 02/24/23(Fri)08:44:00 No.70072578 >>70072607 File: 1668040945955531.png (27 KB, 1200x1200) >go to gym >work as hard as I can >come home >drink whey shake >shower >fap >listen to ASMR girlfriend sleeping next to you (heartbeat) (no talking) (soft breathing) >sleep until late night This cannot go on, bros
Anonymous 02/24/23(Fri)08:44:00 No.70072578 >>70072607 File: 1668040945955531.png (27 KB, 1200x1200) >go to gym >work as hard as I can >come home >drink whey shake >shower >fap >listen to ASMR girlfriend sleeping next to you (heartbeat) (no talking) (soft breathing) >sleep until late night This cannot go on, bros

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Anon describes a 2 trillion dollar company | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 59 KB JPG 02/25/23(Sat)02:33:53 No.91745432 >Release new product >Slow down last year's product >Tubes make comparison videos with last year's model on the "massive improvement" >Normies watch and consoom
: Anonymous 59 KB JPG 02/25/23(Sat)02:33:53 No.91745432 >Release new product >Slow down last year's product >Tubes make comparison videos with last year's model on the "massive improvement" >Normies watch and consoom

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Anon and his shitty ideas | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 04/05/22(Tue)13:22:12 No.875732376 >put food in mouth >Swallow >It disappears >??? >Brown stuff comes out of my ass Do you all really believe this s---
Anonymous 04/05/22(Tue)13:22:12 No.875732376 >put food in mouth >Swallow >It disappears >??? >Brown stuff comes out of my ass Do you all really believe this s---

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Still makes me laugh | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 368 KB JPG 09/10/21(Thu)07:26:51 No.746469601 Thinking of buying some 12 year old scotch. Does it live up to the hype? : Anonymous 09/10/21(Thu)07:29:56 No.746469898 >>746469601 (OP) # let her buy her own scotch you p-------- >>746469943 # >>746470233 # >>746470276 # >>746474489 #
Anonymous 368 KB JPG 09/10/21(Thu)07:26:51 No.746469601 Thinking of buying some 12 year old scotch. Does it live up to the hype? : Anonymous 09/10/21(Thu)07:29:56 No.746469898 >>746469601 (OP) # let her buy her own scotch you p-------- >>746469943 # >>746470233 # >>746470276 # >>746474489 #

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Anons cousin | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 765 KB PNG 09/22/18(Sat)21:16:31 No.48287782 >7 year old cousin is over >She wants to play the PS4 in my room >Mom tells me to "keep the door open" What the f--- did she mean by this?
: Anonymous 765 KB PNG 09/22/18(Sat)21:16:31 No.48287782 >7 year old cousin is over >She wants to play the PS4 in my room >Mom tells me to "keep the door open" What the f--- did she mean by this?

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Anons plans tonight | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 02/26/17(Sun)00:14:33 No.902349692902351499023627590236962 File: tumblr_J986s0qGsE1gl1mgeo(...).jpg (481 KB, 1280x960) Guess what I'm going to do tonight, /co/.... Tumesstand Anonymous 02/26/17(Sun)00:58:45 No.90236962 File: 1486857967496.jpg (99 KB, 970x990) >>90234969 >Reverse image search 20 results found NOVEMBER DEATY
Anonymous 02/26/17(Sun)00:14:33 No.902349692902351499023627590236962 File: tumblr_J986s0qGsE1gl1mgeo(...).jpg (481 KB, 1280x960) Guess what I'm going to do tonight, /co/.... Tumesstand Anonymous 02/26/17(Sun)00:58:45 No.90236962 File: 1486857967496.jpg (99 KB, 970x990) >>90234969 >Reverse image search 20 results found NOVEMBER DEATY

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Anon feels chatty | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 69 KB PNG 02/24/23(Fri)16:10:08 No.72353678 >feeling horny >decide to type out my lewdest thoughts and use one of those text-to-speech websites to read it back to me while i masturbate >find one with a cute english voice >this is going to be really hot >i had to turn it off half way though >having your most embarrassing thoughts repeated to you by a dispassionate robot is not hot >it only draws attention to how embarrassing they are imagine sharing these thoughts with a living human female
: Anonymous 69 KB PNG 02/24/23(Fri)16:10:08 No.72353678 >feeling horny >decide to type out my lewdest thoughts and use one of those text-to-speech websites to read it back to me while i masturbate >find one with a cute english voice >this is going to be really hot >i had to turn it off half way though >having your most embarrassing thoughts repeated to you by a dispassionate robot is not hot >it only draws attention to how embarrassing they are imagine sharing these thoughts with a living human female

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Anon got Fazbeared | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 14 KB JPG 02/24/23 (Fri)22:14:09 No.894921817 >Be me >Get to know this f------ fantastic chick from my class >Decide to do some class mating >Manage to get to know her, we actually share a lot of common interests >Games, weird niche internet stuff >We joke around with each other all the time She left Ffw yesterday >I invite her over to my place >She actually comes >Thisisit.jpeg >Long story short, after some time we obviously end up making out on the couch >She leans over and gives me a playful bite on the neck >I mumble "Was that the bite of 87¹?"
: Anonymous 14 KB JPG 02/24/23 (Fri)22:14:09 No.894921817 >Be me >Get to know this f------ fantastic chick from my class >Decide to do some class mating >Manage to get to know her, we actually share a lot of common interests >Games, weird niche internet stuff >We joke around with each other all the time She left Ffw yesterday >I invite her over to my place >She actually comes >Thisisit.jpeg >Long story short, after some time we obviously end up making out on the couch >She leans over and gives me a playful bite on the neck >I mumble "Was that the bite of 87¹?"

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Anon shakes things up | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous why are you drinking tonite? 206 KB JPG 02/24/23(Fri)15:05:24 No.72353065 >be me >have a huge crush on coworker >things feel like its going towards somewhere throughout the week >get drinks with other coworkers >nothing out of the ordinary except she keeps telling others how smart and nice i am >spaghetti.jpg >ffw an hour or two, end of the evening >everyone is saying goodbyes >hugging for goodbyes is pretty common where i live >girl approaches to hug me >pasgetthi.jpg >shake her hand instead >she tries to laugh it off, coworker says i should hug her >make eye contact with girl >fettucini.jpg >bear hug the guy instead >shake the girls hand again >everyone pretends nothing happened and goes their own way this was few hours ago and now im drinking to erase this memory but i think im gonna need something more than alcohol
: Anonymous why are you drinking tonite? 206 KB JPG 02/24/23(Fri)15:05:24 No.72353065 >be me >have a huge crush on coworker >things feel like its going towards somewhere throughout the week >get drinks with other coworkers >nothing out of the ordinary except she keeps telling others how smart and nice i am >spaghetti.jpg >ffw an hour or two, end of the evening >everyone is saying goodbyes >hugging for goodbyes is pretty common where i live >girl approaches to hug me >pasgetthi.jpg >shake her hand instead >she tries to laugh it off, coworker says i should hug her >make eye contact with girl >fettucini.jpg >bear hug the guy instead >shake the girls hand again >everyone pretends nothing happened and goes their own way this was few hours ago and now im drinking to erase this memory but i think im gonna need something more than alcohol

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Anon gets rejected | /r/Greentext

Got rejected <-> > Confess to college crush > Get rejected > reason given "You're too short" I'm 6'3
Got rejected <-> > Confess to college crush > Get rejected > reason given "You're too short" I'm 6'3

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Linux confirmed russian! | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 48 KB JPG 02/24/23(Fri)07:33:27 No.91731712 >>91729556 (OP) # >/usr/lib >usr lib >ussr lib
: Anonymous 48 KB JPG 02/24/23(Fri)07:33:27 No.91731712 >>91729556 (OP) # >/usr/lib >usr lib >ussr lib

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Anon visits an escort for a special treat | /r/Greentext

11KGB, 355x236, 1627950827892.jpg View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO+ Anonymous Sat 23 Jul 2022 11:45:39 No.67695584 View Reply Original Report Quoted By: >>67695755 >>67695799 >>67695905 >>67695934 >>67695983 >>67696041 >>67696048 >>67696063 >>67696073 I had my most expensive scat session with an escort this Friday (around $530 dollars) and thought I'd post my experience. This escort was the most attractive I've sessioned with for a hardsports session, 20 years old and from Eastern Europe. 5"4 petite slim brunette with freckles and a plump juicy butt. I was so horny after work and I really wanted to consume scat. So found her on Adultwork, called and asked if she provided hardsports, she said yes and that she would produce in an hour or so. So off I went. She struggles a bit and we chill and relax, she smokes, drinks some milk and some probiotic drink, and then drinks a coffee. She tells me she's ready so blindfold back on, I open my mouth and she straddles me. I get there and talk a bit and she's quite new to escorting and has only provided hardsports once. So she puts down some towels for me on the floor and I lay down, she gives me a blindfold (this is so important for me for consuming) and tried to produce. She starts to s--- and I start eating directly from her, while she's doing this she is teasing me (soo good it's like I'm being rewarded for eating it) I start to gag and then she begins her verbal humiliation telling me I have to eat it all and I'm her toilet. Really freaking hot, I was so turned on. It tasted bitter and it was quite firm, I had to chew a lot, I think there was some undigested food because it was crispy at times. But I kept eating and she produced 3 decent mouthfuls. View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO [15/4/7] I'm so glad she kept teasing and talking to me because that helped so much to eat it and it really got me into the mindset that I'm this hot chicks toilet. So freaking good. So I finish eating and rim her clean. I ask her if she can facesit me and give me a h------ and she obliges and it results in me exploding c--. Worth every penny! Anonymous Sat 23 Jul 2022 12:00:25 No.67695755 Report >>67695584 Thank you so much for sharing anon! I feel a lot better about myself now >>67695584 Dangerously based 1591540275438.png, 292KiB, 334x506 Anonymous Sat 23 Jul 2022 12:04:07 No.67695799 Report
11KGB, 355x236, 1627950827892.jpg View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO+ Anonymous Sat 23 Jul 2022 11:45:39 No.67695584 View Reply Original Report Quoted By: >>67695755 >>67695799 >>67695905 >>67695934 >>67695983 >>67696041 >>67696048 >>67696063 >>67696073 I had my most expensive scat session with an escort this Friday (around $530 dollars) and thought I'd post my experience. This escort was the most attractive I've sessioned with for a hardsports session, 20 years old and from Eastern Europe. 5"4 petite slim brunette with freckles and a plump juicy butt. I was so horny after work and I really wanted to consume scat. So found her on Adultwork, called and asked if she provided hardsports, she said yes and that she would produce in an hour or so. So off I went. She struggles a bit and we chill and relax, she smokes, drinks some milk and some probiotic drink, and then drinks a coffee. She tells me she's ready so blindfold back on, I open my mouth and she straddles me. I get there and talk a bit and she's quite new to escorting and has only provided hardsports once. So she puts down some towels for me on the floor and I lay down, she gives me a blindfold (this is so important for me for consuming) and tried to produce. She starts to s--- and I start eating directly from her, while she's doing this she is teasing me (soo good it's like I'm being rewarded for eating it) I start to gag and then she begins her verbal humiliation telling me I have to eat it all and I'm her toilet. Really freaking hot, I was so turned on. It tasted bitter and it was quite firm, I had to chew a lot, I think there was some undigested food because it was crispy at times. But I kept eating and she produced 3 decent mouthfuls. View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO [15/4/7] I'm so glad she kept teasing and talking to me because that helped so much to eat it and it really got me into the mindset that I'm this hot chicks toilet. So freaking good. So I finish eating and rim her clean. I ask her if she can facesit me and give me a h------ and she obliges and it results in me exploding c--. Worth every penny! Anonymous Sat 23 Jul 2022 12:00:25 No.67695755 Report >>67695584 Thank you so much for sharing anon! I feel a lot better about myself now >>67695584 Dangerously based 1591540275438.png, 292KiB, 334x506 Anonymous Sat 23 Jul 2022 12:04:07 No.67695799 Report

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Anon downloads tinder | /r/Greentext

What dating is actually like 38 KB JPG 02/21/23(Tue)12:35:12 No.72312624 I am going to tell you guys about when I downloaded Tinder, in case you're wondering what dating is like at prime dating age in 2023. >be me >21 y/o >white, Russian and Norwegian >6'4" >lifting for 7 years, fit, not lanky >Not like a model but above average handsome face >Dress well, family's honestly kinda rich >Strict hygeine and self-care >Extrovert, not awkward or autistic >Read many books, articles about how to start/manage/succeed at romantic relationships over the years >Tons of hobbies outside of media consumption, fun talking about almost anything CO Now comes the Tinder part. >Download Tinder at college. >Make a profile of honestly neutral and unflattering photos to show what I really look like. >Get-5 likes a day, never even swipe >Try to actually get to know them, unmatch the ones I don't like, try to feel a similarity or connection >Compliment them, make them laugh, really listen to them >They always become obsessed with me, some get horny send nudes >I meet them for the first date >Talk to the women about how their day went, their hobbies, compliment their clothing, smile, laugh >They're always completely uninterested, distracted, indifferent, shy, boring conversation >Obviously at the end they have to give me or text me some b------- "I'm just looking for friends/I don't feel a spark/The vibe was off/Not in a good place for a relationship" etc. >They give me a little pity 'friendly' conversation afterwards on whatever social media and then they're gone forever a few days later. >Still a virgin. This board is probably the only place that could ever understand this. What the f--- is wrong with me? What am I doing wrong? What do I do? Where do I go from here?
What dating is actually like 38 KB JPG 02/21/23(Tue)12:35:12 No.72312624 I am going to tell you guys about when I downloaded Tinder, in case you're wondering what dating is like at prime dating age in 2023. >be me >21 y/o >white, Russian and Norwegian >6'4" >lifting for 7 years, fit, not lanky >Not like a model but above average handsome face >Dress well, family's honestly kinda rich >Strict hygeine and self-care >Extrovert, not awkward or autistic >Read many books, articles about how to start/manage/succeed at romantic relationships over the years >Tons of hobbies outside of media consumption, fun talking about almost anything CO Now comes the Tinder part. >Download Tinder at college. >Make a profile of honestly neutral and unflattering photos to show what I really look like. >Get-5 likes a day, never even swipe >Try to actually get to know them, unmatch the ones I don't like, try to feel a similarity or connection >Compliment them, make them laugh, really listen to them >They always become obsessed with me, some get horny send nudes >I meet them for the first date >Talk to the women about how their day went, their hobbies, compliment their clothing, smile, laugh >They're always completely uninterested, distracted, indifferent, shy, boring conversation >Obviously at the end they have to give me or text me some b------- "I'm just looking for friends/I don't feel a spark/The vibe was off/Not in a good place for a relationship" etc. >They give me a little pity 'friendly' conversation afterwards on whatever social media and then they're gone forever a few days later. >Still a virgin. This board is probably the only place that could ever understand this. What the f--- is wrong with me? What am I doing wrong? What do I do? Where do I go from here?

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Anon discusses a societal question | /r/Greentext

36 KB JPG >be a jewish >kyrie irving doesn't like you >Kanye West doesn't like you >Meyers Leonard doesn't like you >Hitler literally turns an entire country into hating you >several middle eastern countries hate you for some reason >JK Rowling doesn't like you Maybe there's a reason why all of these people throughout history don't like Jews?
36 KB JPG >be a jewish >kyrie irving doesn't like you >Kanye West doesn't like you >Meyers Leonard doesn't like you >Hitler literally turns an entire country into hating you >several middle eastern countries hate you for some reason >JK Rowling doesn't like you Maybe there's a reason why all of these people throughout history don't like Jews?

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Anon takes an exam. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/25/23(Sat)03:20:18 No.72352562 >In college, studying for finals >haven't slept in days, >surviving on energy drinks and ramen noodles >the day of the final exam arrives >walk into the exam hall >feeling confident 186 KB PNG >look at the first question, it's easy >start writing furiously, total concentration >suddenly, my pen runs out of ink >no problem, brought a spare >fumble around in my bag >can't find it anywhere >panic sets in >ask the guy next to me if he has a spare pen >be hands me one, but it's a red >screw it, I continue the exam >finish the exam, feeling pretty good about it >one week later >Professor's note: "I specifically asked for blue or black ink, not red." >Final Grade: F
: Anonymous 02/25/23(Sat)03:20:18 No.72352562 >In college, studying for finals >haven't slept in days, >surviving on energy drinks and ramen noodles >the day of the final exam arrives >walk into the exam hall >feeling confident 186 KB PNG >look at the first question, it's easy >start writing furiously, total concentration >suddenly, my pen runs out of ink >no problem, brought a spare >fumble around in my bag >can't find it anywhere >panic sets in >ask the guy next to me if he has a spare pen >be hands me one, but it's a red >screw it, I continue the exam >finish the exam, feeling pretty good about it >one week later >Professor's note: "I specifically asked for blue or black ink, not red." >Final Grade: F

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