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The Unfed Feast | /r/Greentext

A ymous 72 KB JPG 12/25/23(Mon)09:16:02 No.75882605 >christmas lunch >whole family is talking loudly cant even concentrate on eating >want to eat some turkey which is on the other side of the table >"can I get some turkey please" >everybody is talking further nobody listens >"guys please can I get some turkey" >nobody listens and they keep talking >sit there and don't eat anything
A ymous 72 KB JPG 12/25/23(Mon)09:16:02 No.75882605 >christmas lunch >whole family is talking loudly cant even concentrate on eating >want to eat some turkey which is on the other side of the table >"can I get some turkey please" >everybody is talking further nobody listens >"guys please can I get some turkey" >nobody listens and they keep talking >sit there and don't eat anything

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Anon is santa (stolen from comfychan.org) | /r/Greentext

/b/(hide threads from this board) File: 1703458535290.jpeg (36.82 KB, 400x560, 055A1E15-0864-40C3-AC16-0....jpeg) gm Anonymous 12/24/23 (Sun) 22:55:35 No.2300 [Reply] >be me, skinny cuz scared of calories >start drinking milk before bed to get strong bones >tasty >drink a bowl of nothing except milk before bed >life is good pic related
/b/(hide threads from this board) File: 1703458535290.jpeg (36.82 KB, 400x560, 055A1E15-0864-40C3-AC16-0....jpeg) gm Anonymous 12/24/23 (Sun) 22:55:35 No.2300 [Reply] >be me, skinny cuz scared of calories >start drinking milk before bed to get strong bones >tasty >drink a bowl of nothing except milk before bed >life is good pic related

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Measured Moments | /r/Greentext

A ymous (ID: v8L78COu)! 12/25/23(Mon)01:54:42 >handed gift from dad, he says grandma forgot to give it to me the other day. >fuckyeah.png >open it, it's a tape measure >huh No.19289157 116 KB JPG >just kinda look at it for a minute, pretty confused >turn it around, where i find a slip of paper >"[Anon], this belonged to Papa. He loved his tools; always buying tools and tape measures. Please accept this tape measure from your Papa Anon who passed away Dec. 2, 2021." >picrel f---, man.
A ymous (ID: v8L78COu)! 12/25/23(Mon)01:54:42 >handed gift from dad, he says grandma forgot to give it to me the other day. >fuckyeah.png >open it, it's a tape measure >huh No.19289157 116 KB JPG >just kinda look at it for a minute, pretty confused >turn it around, where i find a slip of paper >"[Anon], this belonged to Papa. He loved his tools; always buying tools and tape measures. Please accept this tape measure from your Papa Anon who passed away Dec. 2, 2021." >picrel f---, man.

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Anon gets saved my LARPers | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 02/27/11(Sun)01:34 No.14058910 >walking home from a party late one evening >several guys were following me, as my drunk ass managed to piss them off by existing >try to walk faster, to no avail, as I'm drunk as s--- >catch me in some random student neighbourhood >oh s---, my ass is about to be beaten >still in talking phase >lights flick on in a house >three guys in full musketeer garb walk out >leader is some blond guy with a beard, eyepatch, and some weird-ass accent >"What sort of ruffians would be accosting someone outside our residence? Stand and deliver!" >guys start yelling at them to f--- off, that I deserved to get my ass beaten >"Very well, then. Draw steel, you blackguard!" >all three of them draw rapiers on their belts >guys run >"I know not why those foul men sought your harm, but come and tell us the tale. stranger!" >spend remainder of evening drinking mulled wine with lunatics >bunch of Swedish re-enactors live there >blond guy is actually missing an eye; lost it in a machine shop accident >stagger home completely drunk with a hat I had no idea people like that existed. Or had the money to rent a house.
Anonymous 02/27/11(Sun)01:34 No.14058910 >walking home from a party late one evening >several guys were following me, as my drunk ass managed to piss them off by existing >try to walk faster, to no avail, as I'm drunk as s--- >catch me in some random student neighbourhood >oh s---, my ass is about to be beaten >still in talking phase >lights flick on in a house >three guys in full musketeer garb walk out >leader is some blond guy with a beard, eyepatch, and some weird-ass accent >"What sort of ruffians would be accosting someone outside our residence? Stand and deliver!" >guys start yelling at them to f--- off, that I deserved to get my ass beaten >"Very well, then. Draw steel, you blackguard!" >all three of them draw rapiers on their belts >guys run >"I know not why those foul men sought your harm, but come and tell us the tale. stranger!" >spend remainder of evening drinking mulled wine with lunatics >bunch of Swedish re-enactors live there >blond guy is actually missing an eye; lost it in a machine shop accident >stagger home completely drunk with a hat I had no idea people like that existed. Or had the money to rent a house.

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Anon finds a plot hole in A Christmas Carol | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/22/23(Fri)10:19:16 No.22857923 842 KB JPG >failing high school english literature >parents get me tutor >told to read A Christmas Carol by Charles Dickins >book supposedly is a classical of literature >tutor says is about true meaning of christmas >read it and give tutor a presentation on book >start presentation >dude pretending to be ghost comes into Scrooge's bedroom every night >door conveniently always unlocked >holds Scrooge's hand and takes him to different parties >ghost randomly claims its the past, present or future >Scrooge wakes up each morning in bed feeling queasy >unsure if night before actually happened >clearly Scrooge was drugged and ring-sausaged all night long >this book is just a gayrape fantasy and not suitable for kids >end presentation mfw tutor quits, recommends to parents i see therapist
: Anonymous 12/22/23(Fri)10:19:16 No.22857923 842 KB JPG >failing high school english literature >parents get me tutor >told to read A Christmas Carol by Charles Dickins >book supposedly is a classical of literature >tutor says is about true meaning of christmas >read it and give tutor a presentation on book >start presentation >dude pretending to be ghost comes into Scrooge's bedroom every night >door conveniently always unlocked >holds Scrooge's hand and takes him to different parties >ghost randomly claims its the past, present or future >Scrooge wakes up each morning in bed feeling queasy >unsure if night before actually happened >clearly Scrooge was drugged and ring-sausaged all night long >this book is just a gayrape fantasy and not suitable for kids >end presentation mfw tutor quits, recommends to parents i see therapist

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Anon gets a present | /r/Greentext

209 KB PNG >>453006945 # >>4530 Anonymous (ID 4 KB JPG mom 523 KB PNG 3203 what did you get for christmas? >>453004259 (OP) # same thing as every chrismas a snickers bar in an evelope, it came a few days ago and i already ate it i dont know who sends it but i think its my ive just been getting them for just 20 years now and it never comes with a card but the wrapper always has "to oscar, a special boy" written on it with peppermint marker my names not oscar but i think it might be my real name im adopted >>453005357 # >>453005405 # >>453005447 # >>453009705 # >>453009989 # >>453010134 # >>453010302 # >>453011479 # >>453011720 # >>453012355 # >>453015296 # >>453018938 # >>453019520 #
209 KB PNG >>453006945 # >>4530 Anonymous (ID 4 KB JPG mom 523 KB PNG 3203 what did you get for christmas? >>453004259 (OP) # same thing as every chrismas a snickers bar in an evelope, it came a few days ago and i already ate it i dont know who sends it but i think its my ive just been getting them for just 20 years now and it never comes with a card but the wrapper always has "to oscar, a special boy" written on it with peppermint marker my names not oscar but i think it might be my real name im adopted >>453005357 # >>453005405 # >>453005447 # >>453009705 # >>453009989 # >>453010134 # >>453010302 # >>453011479 # >>453011720 # >>453012355 # >>453015296 # >>453018938 # >>453019520 #

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Unseen Sorrows | /r/Greentext

A ymous TIL Autistic depression 48 KB JPG 12/25/23(Mon)06:59:47 No.75881635 >Boyfriend complains to me about his problems on Christmas eve while he is surrounded by his loving family on his little cross country vacation >I listen to him diligently, try to comfort him, offer advice, etc because I love him >He thanks me, calms down >Try to complain about my own problems, completely alone in my house, crying, suicidal >He tells me he's going to sleep now Should I just kill myself?
A ymous TIL Autistic depression 48 KB JPG 12/25/23(Mon)06:59:47 No.75881635 >Boyfriend complains to me about his problems on Christmas eve while he is surrounded by his loving family on his little cross country vacation >I listen to him diligently, try to comfort him, offer advice, etc because I love him >He thanks me, calms down >Try to complain about my own problems, completely alone in my house, crying, suicidal >He tells me he's going to sleep now Should I just kill myself?

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Anon's relationship woes | /r/Greentext

wallahi i'm finished Screenshot_20231220-212935~3.png 703 KB PNG >be me, single >meet girl through mutual >start texting and immediately hit it off, great chemistry >she has the same energy I do and she has similar interests >she even listens to f------ death grips h-------- >haven't known her for long but already feel a bigger connection with her than I have with my exes. >she lives a whole state away >know barely any long distance relationships are good at all >bruh
wallahi i'm finished Screenshot_20231220-212935~3.png 703 KB PNG >be me, single >meet girl through mutual >start texting and immediately hit it off, great chemistry >she has the same energy I do and she has similar interests >she even listens to f------ death grips h-------- >haven't known her for long but already feel a bigger connection with her than I have with my exes. >she lives a whole state away >know barely any long distance relationships are good at all >bruh

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Anons in the holiday spirit | /r/Greentext

: 1:31 D onymous stmas movie map will Most Popular Christmas Movie Character By State (Based On Geotagged Twitter Data) 12/24/23(Sun)13:23:05 No.193707431 Imao Louisiana 220 78i00.png 631 KB PNG W-- is wrong with Nevada and Mississippi Butter 604 67% : Anonymous 12/24/23(Sun)13:23:52 No.193707462 Based Michigan : Anonymous 12/24/23(Sun)13:25:20 No.193707514 >>193707431 (OP) # >all the Gen-X and Millennial retired goths moved to Seattle that tracks : Anonymous 12/24/23(Sun)13:25:28 No.193707520 : Anonymous 12/24/23(Sun)13:26:10 No.193707555 >>193707431 (OP) # >Washington living in a perpetual nightmare Sounds about right : Anonymous 12/24/23(Sun)13:27:03 No.193707589 >>193707431 (OP) # White women love Elf so much. : Anonymous 12/24/23(Sun)13:27:42 No.193707621 >>193707431 (OP) # This is a much better Americlap Civil War 2 Boogaloo map than A24slop : Anonymous 12/24/23(Sun)13:28:17 No.193707658 >>193707431 (OP) # >California, Texas and Florida having the same s--- taste : Anonymous 12/24/23(Sun)13:28:47 No.193707688 >>193707431 (OP) # >no year without a santa claus F--- this s------- country but ESPECIALLY f--- the die hard states : Anonymous 12/24/23(Sun)13:28:50 No.193707691 >Washington >Nightmare Of f------ course, god I hate Seattle, it's more of a Halloween movie than Christmas anyway
: 1:31 D onymous stmas movie map will Most Popular Christmas Movie Character By State (Based On Geotagged Twitter Data) 12/24/23(Sun)13:23:05 No.193707431 Imao Louisiana 220 78i00.png 631 KB PNG W-- is wrong with Nevada and Mississippi Butter 604 67% : Anonymous 12/24/23(Sun)13:23:52 No.193707462 Based Michigan : Anonymous 12/24/23(Sun)13:25:20 No.193707514 >>193707431 (OP) # >all the Gen-X and Millennial retired goths moved to Seattle that tracks : Anonymous 12/24/23(Sun)13:25:28 No.193707520 : Anonymous 12/24/23(Sun)13:26:10 No.193707555 >>193707431 (OP) # >Washington living in a perpetual nightmare Sounds about right : Anonymous 12/24/23(Sun)13:27:03 No.193707589 >>193707431 (OP) # White women love Elf so much. : Anonymous 12/24/23(Sun)13:27:42 No.193707621 >>193707431 (OP) # This is a much better Americlap Civil War 2 Boogaloo map than A24slop : Anonymous 12/24/23(Sun)13:28:17 No.193707658 >>193707431 (OP) # >California, Texas and Florida having the same s--- taste : Anonymous 12/24/23(Sun)13:28:47 No.193707688 >>193707431 (OP) # >no year without a santa claus F--- this s------- country but ESPECIALLY f--- the die hard states : Anonymous 12/24/23(Sun)13:28:50 No.193707691 >Washington >Nightmare Of f------ course, god I hate Seattle, it's more of a Halloween movie than Christmas anyway

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Anon saves dog | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 7 KB JPG 08/19/18(Sun)13:30:30 No.777598427 ITT: Good deeds you've done in your life. >Be me. >Go for a walk because I'm not a shut in virgin. >Walk by trailer park for some human entertainment. >Girl comes running up to me. >Tells me her dog is dying and she needs help. >F----- jumped in the pool and didn't know how to swim. >Luckily I'm an EMT in training. >Grab big ass golden retriever out of pool. >Pretty sure its dead. >Give the dog CPR. >He's not responding but I keep at it. >Girl calls 911. >Turns out they don't send ambulances for dogs. >Just before I'm about to carry it to her car he starts coughing. >Throws up all over me. >Girl comes running over and hugs dog. >His tail starts wagging. >Girl thanks me. >Gives me a hug. >Tells me she'd kiss me if she didn't have a boyfriend. >Respect her relationship and leave with my head held high. I like helping people. It makes me feel good!
: Anonymous 7 KB JPG 08/19/18(Sun)13:30:30 No.777598427 ITT: Good deeds you've done in your life. >Be me. >Go for a walk because I'm not a shut in virgin. >Walk by trailer park for some human entertainment. >Girl comes running up to me. >Tells me her dog is dying and she needs help. >F----- jumped in the pool and didn't know how to swim. >Luckily I'm an EMT in training. >Grab big ass golden retriever out of pool. >Pretty sure its dead. >Give the dog CPR. >He's not responding but I keep at it. >Girl calls 911. >Turns out they don't send ambulances for dogs. >Just before I'm about to carry it to her car he starts coughing. >Throws up all over me. >Girl comes running over and hugs dog. >His tail starts wagging. >Girl thanks me. >Gives me a hug. >Tells me she'd kiss me if she didn't have a boyfriend. >Respect her relationship and leave with my head held high. I like helping people. It makes me feel good!

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anon is gen alpha | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous On the twelve days of rizzman my rizzler gave to me 12 fortnight matches 11 rizzlers rizzing 10 grimace shakes 9 hours edging 8 griddies griddied Level 7 gyyyaaaatttt 6 Milli vannli's 5 nights at Freddie's 4 YouTube short 3 fanum taxes 2 upper deckies And a toilet, so skibidi 12/25/23(Mon)10:32:50 No.34010776 >>34011001 #
: Anonymous On the twelve days of rizzman my rizzler gave to me 12 fortnight matches 11 rizzlers rizzing 10 grimace shakes 9 hours edging 8 griddies griddied Level 7 gyyyaaaatttt 6 Milli vannli's 5 nights at Freddie's 4 YouTube short 3 fanum taxes 2 upper deckies And a toilet, so skibidi 12/25/23(Mon)10:32:50 No.34010776 >>34011001 #

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You plus me equals us | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 42 KB JPG >whole life people talk about how much they hated calculus and how hard it was >finally take it in college >it's no harder than algebra or trig Are most people just retarded? Anonymous >>66178869 (OP) # >Are most people just retarded? ding ding ding 58
: Anonymous 42 KB JPG >whole life people talk about how much they hated calculus and how hard it was >finally take it in college >it's no harder than algebra or trig Are most people just retarded? Anonymous >>66178869 (OP) # >Are most people just retarded? ding ding ding 58

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What did Sauronman mean by this | /r/Greentext

¡ onymous 12/25/23(Mon)12:45:12 No.193732294 fef.jpg 407 KB JPG >gandalf... we are no match for sauron's non-existent army >we must join him, even though I am the only one building his army and can choose not to.
¡ onymous 12/25/23(Mon)12:45:12 No.193732294 fef.jpg 407 KB JPG >gandalf... we are no match for sauron's non-existent army >we must join him, even though I am the only one building his army and can choose not to.

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Wrapped in Love | /r/Greentext

A ymous 101 KB JPG 12/24/23(Sun)20:16:33 No.75877729 >christmas dinner with my parents >they tell me to take a handful of a snack >if I get an even number I'll get a gf this year >if I get an odd number then I'm remaining single >get an even number >"wow anon looks like you wont be single next christmas"
A ymous 101 KB JPG 12/24/23(Sun)20:16:33 No.75877729 >christmas dinner with my parents >they tell me to take a handful of a snack >if I get an even number I'll get a gf this year >if I get an odd number then I'm remaining single >get an even number >"wow anon looks like you wont be single next christmas"

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Hope Chris reads this | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/24/23(Sun)11:31:18 No.193672971 file.png 1.11 MB PNG >Had a successful early life >Proud service in the army 8 >Many accomplishments in his career >SO successful that he retired and was able to live entirely off of his pension >Terrible father, estranged with most of his kids >All these kids went on to have successful lives and wanted no contact from him >Accidentally has one more child >Finally sees the error of his ways and wants to raise one right before he dies >Someone to pass on his legacy >His final kid that he wants to do right by... is an autistic man-child who draws like a five-year old, has loud cybersex, and constantly embarrasses himself in front of strangers >Dies being known as the father of THAT instead of what he's done for the first 50 years of his life I am deeply fascinated by the tragedy of Bob and I feel like there's a really good movie that could be made out of it. It doesn't have to be his story entirely, but the concept of a terrible father whose last hope and connection is a mental case while the rest of his successful kids want nothing to do with him.
: Anonymous 12/24/23(Sun)11:31:18 No.193672971 file.png 1.11 MB PNG >Had a successful early life >Proud service in the army 8 >Many accomplishments in his career >SO successful that he retired and was able to live entirely off of his pension >Terrible father, estranged with most of his kids >All these kids went on to have successful lives and wanted no contact from him >Accidentally has one more child >Finally sees the error of his ways and wants to raise one right before he dies >Someone to pass on his legacy >His final kid that he wants to do right by... is an autistic man-child who draws like a five-year old, has loud cybersex, and constantly embarrasses himself in front of strangers >Dies being known as the father of THAT instead of what he's done for the first 50 years of his life I am deeply fascinated by the tragedy of Bob and I feel like there's a really good movie that could be made out of it. It doesn't have to be his story entirely, but the concept of a terrible father whose last hope and connection is a mental case while the rest of his successful kids want nothing to do with him.

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Anti-corruption | /r/Greentext

3h (12/24 17:01) 75871832 2 Re - 0 Img JPG 127KB (676 × 1200) · 893a2322ea80108df9719059a5ed14ac.jpg 1 Reply What are some stupid things in about relationships in your culture ? I'll start >Outside of marriage sexual relationships are illegal (if you get caught lol) >if you get caught as a guy you're the one to blame because women are infallible saints and you're the one who "corrupted" her even if she took the initiative >Unless she's a prostitute you get courtraped and she gets a slap on the hand
3h (12/24 17:01) 75871832 2 Re - 0 Img JPG 127KB (676 × 1200) · 893a2322ea80108df9719059a5ed14ac.jpg 1 Reply What are some stupid things in about relationships in your culture ? I'll start >Outside of marriage sexual relationships are illegal (if you get caught lol) >if you get caught as a guy you're the one to blame because women are infallible saints and you're the one who "corrupted" her even if she took the initiative >Unless she's a prostitute you get courtraped and she gets a slap on the hand

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Anon likes Burger King | /r/Greentext

38292984.jpg 65 KB JPG >Ok, ok, so, burger king, that name is so bloody complicated, it took me like 3 months of non-stop thought to figure this out. Well, you look at it and you can say pretty confidently, king, that's actually an instantiation of a patriarchal motive being, isn't it? It's like that's the typification of a fatherly figure that exists at the top of all possible dominance hierarchies. I guess that'd be a good way to describe it, and, but, it's not a king per se, when you go to burger king, it's the instantiation of an individual as necessarily being the embodiment of the transcendent ideal of a king. It's a king as such. The typified aspect of kingship as such is inexorably tied up with the word. And what does a typified father figure do? Well he provides, doesn't he? He provides food, and shelter, and burgers. Well yeah, that's bloody well right, he's a king who provides burgers, exactly! You know, you know, when Alexander Solzhenitzyn was in the gulags, he thought about food a lot.
38292984.jpg 65 KB JPG >Ok, ok, so, burger king, that name is so bloody complicated, it took me like 3 months of non-stop thought to figure this out. Well, you look at it and you can say pretty confidently, king, that's actually an instantiation of a patriarchal motive being, isn't it? It's like that's the typification of a fatherly figure that exists at the top of all possible dominance hierarchies. I guess that'd be a good way to describe it, and, but, it's not a king per se, when you go to burger king, it's the instantiation of an individual as necessarily being the embodiment of the transcendent ideal of a king. It's a king as such. The typified aspect of kingship as such is inexorably tied up with the word. And what does a typified father figure do? Well he provides, doesn't he? He provides food, and shelter, and burgers. Well yeah, that's bloody well right, he's a king who provides burgers, exactly! You know, you know, when Alexander Solzhenitzyn was in the gulags, he thought about food a lot.

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Does he know? | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 12/17/23(Sun)19:38:22 No.193315729 No girlfriend. Just go to work, go home. 15.jpg 201 KB JPG This scene was so ridiculous. No one actually lives like that.
Anonymous 12/17/23(Sun)19:38:22 No.193315729 No girlfriend. Just go to work, go home. 15.jpg 201 KB JPG This scene was so ridiculous. No one actually lives like that.

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Passing by | /r/Greentext

6h (12/24 18:51) 661685518 - 6 Re.0 Img JPG 86KB (1280 × 719) · persona-5-royal.large[1].jpg 3 Replies • >be me >started to play PS5 Royal, so f------ fun >had to stop because I had to get my s--- in order >the game has left xbox gamepass and I had no idea >no crack This goes to teach you all: enjoy life now, tomorrow is always uncertain
6h (12/24 18:51) 661685518 - 6 Re.0 Img JPG 86KB (1280 × 719) · persona-5-royal.large[1].jpg 3 Replies • >be me >started to play PS5 Royal, so f------ fun >had to stop because I had to get my s--- in order >the game has left xbox gamepass and I had no idea >no crack This goes to teach you all: enjoy life now, tomorrow is always uncertain

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Debating GPT | /r/Greentext

Aymous 12/24/23(Sun)21:20:30 No.75878225 >argue blackpill with chatGPT >chatGPT tells me that I'm a misogynist who needs therapy because I assume that women care about looks >i ask chatGPT what it thinks of men who go to south east asia to get women because they're unable to find love in the west >chatGPT tells me that those relationships are unhealthy because they're preying on women who only want them for their status How do I explain the hypocrisy? I sound like I have mental health problems because I assume that western women care about looks but it's okay for ChatGPT to assume that all Asian women only want Western men for status. 87 KB JPG
Aymous 12/24/23(Sun)21:20:30 No.75878225 >argue blackpill with chatGPT >chatGPT tells me that I'm a misogynist who needs therapy because I assume that women care about looks >i ask chatGPT what it thinks of men who go to south east asia to get women because they're unable to find love in the west >chatGPT tells me that those relationships are unhealthy because they're preying on women who only want them for their status How do I explain the hypocrisy? I sound like I have mental health problems because I assume that western women care about looks but it's okay for ChatGPT to assume that all Asian women only want Western men for status. 87 KB JPG

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