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Why yes, I am a Millenial. How could you tell? | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: RbCr6kj+) 72 KB JPG 02/22/21 (Mon)20:57:05 No.29440241 >You have 10 seconds to be as millennial as possible. Anonymous (ID: 5q1RlmEk 02/22/21 (Mon) 20:58:52 No.29440372 >>29440241 (OP) # >So I was sucking my girlfriend's c--- and it reminded me of an IPA I had the other day. >>29440554 # >>29440638 # >>29440718 # >>29440722 # >>29440814 # >>29441291 # >>29442639 # >>29442675 # >>29443626 # >>29449393 #
: Anonymous (ID: RbCr6kj+) 72 KB JPG 02/22/21 (Mon)20:57:05 No.29440241 >You have 10 seconds to be as millennial as possible. Anonymous (ID: 5q1RlmEk 02/22/21 (Mon) 20:58:52 No.29440372 >>29440241 (OP) # >So I was sucking my girlfriend's c--- and it reminded me of an IPA I had the other day. >>29440554 # >>29440638 # >>29440718 # >>29440722 # >>29440814 # >>29441291 # >>29442639 # >>29442675 # >>29443626 # >>29449393 #

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A shocking turn of events, appropriate expression. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: vi01iLcZ) Albanian 02/02/18(Fri)00:46:35 No.158905 I'm killing myself. 100% Screen Shot 2018-02-02 at 12.44.56 AM.png 15 KB PNG
Anonymous (ID: vi01iLcZ) Albanian 02/02/18(Fri)00:46:35 No.158905 I'm killing myself. 100% Screen Shot 2018-02-02 at 12.44.56 AM.png 15 KB PNG

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Anon talks about his high school experience | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 03/16/21(Tue)12:50:06 No.62776754 How was your high school life, Anon? I'll kick things off: >probably didn't speak more than 15 words during my freshman & sophomore year 47 KB JPG >got a lump in my throat and had to hold back tears several times when we were doing group projects >once when we were told to write an essay about our best friend, i chose my f------ dog >overheard girls whispering that they were afraid of me a lot >closest thing i had to a friend was this asian chick who sat at my lunch table, we never even talked to eachother >bombed most of my classwork, only passed cause the tests were easy >got high-fived by a random guy, i later found out that he helps out the retarded kids a few times a week >nobody clapped for me graduation except my family I could go on, but I'm sure you get the point.
Anonymous 03/16/21(Tue)12:50:06 No.62776754 How was your high school life, Anon? I'll kick things off: >probably didn't speak more than 15 words during my freshman & sophomore year 47 KB JPG >got a lump in my throat and had to hold back tears several times when we were doing group projects >once when we were told to write an essay about our best friend, i chose my f------ dog >overheard girls whispering that they were afraid of me a lot >closest thing i had to a friend was this asian chick who sat at my lunch table, we never even talked to eachother >bombed most of my classwork, only passed cause the tests were easy >got high-fived by a random guy, i later found out that he helps out the retarded kids a few times a week >nobody clapped for me graduation except my family I could go on, but I'm sure you get the point.

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The Outsider's View | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 155 KB JPG 12/22/23(Fri)06:29:05 No.75849581 Bro you cant use reddit thats for freaks. Go to Reddit >everyone having a normal discussion >helpful answers >everyone staying on topic Go to 4chan >every threads ends up being about cocks >p--- everywhere >mentally Sick perverts
Anonymous 155 KB JPG 12/22/23(Fri)06:29:05 No.75849581 Bro you cant use reddit thats for freaks. Go to Reddit >everyone having a normal discussion >helpful answers >everyone staying on topic Go to 4chan >every threads ends up being about cocks >p--- everywhere >mentally Sick perverts

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Anon is an odd little fella | /r/Greentext

Selena !ROe5Xrv.F2 03/05/23(Sun)22:19:15 No.29928123 313 KB PNG I want to push the buttons of a big strong man until he loses his patience with me, and then proceeds to bully me, smack me around a little bit, and restrain me while he does what he wants with me. I want him to manhandle the hell out of me and c-- in and on me and then let me cuddle after. I can't really go into much better detail, my brain is too cloudy with thoughts of d--- and c-- to really focus on much else. Made work really difficult tonight, desu. I really just want to c-- from having my ass f----- while I'm held down, face pushed into the bed.
Selena !ROe5Xrv.F2 03/05/23(Sun)22:19:15 No.29928123 313 KB PNG I want to push the buttons of a big strong man until he loses his patience with me, and then proceeds to bully me, smack me around a little bit, and restrain me while he does what he wants with me. I want him to manhandle the hell out of me and c-- in and on me and then let me cuddle after. I can't really go into much better detail, my brain is too cloudy with thoughts of d--- and c-- to really focus on much else. Made work really difficult tonight, desu. I really just want to c-- from having my ass f----- while I'm held down, face pushed into the bed.

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The Joyful Professional | /r/Greentext

Anyone else genuinely love their work? Anyone else genuinely love the(...) I will never forget the time that 'Anonymous hacked into Assad's emails and leaked them Instead of sinister things, it was literally just him and his wife firting, at one point in the emails a girl sent a bikini photo to Assad begging to basically date him, which he ignored and sent to the trash category. He also emailed the song "God Gave Me You" by Blake Shelton to his wife. 12/22/23(Fri)00:26:23 No.75847672 118 KB JPG >work at cab firm >started about 6 months ago on part time contract >family business, owner has worked there all her life >everyone in the office is older and like family, we go out drinking and have birthday events >people are down to earth and talk s--- >good relationships with most of the drivers >every shift is eventful or funny regardless of who I work with I went in today with an hours notice because someone called in sick and got paid an extra hour, given 2 christmas presents from the boss and 100 for a christmas bonus all in cash.
Anyone else genuinely love their work? Anyone else genuinely love the(...) I will never forget the time that 'Anonymous hacked into Assad's emails and leaked them Instead of sinister things, it was literally just him and his wife firting, at one point in the emails a girl sent a bikini photo to Assad begging to basically date him, which he ignored and sent to the trash category. He also emailed the song "God Gave Me You" by Blake Shelton to his wife. 12/22/23(Fri)00:26:23 No.75847672 118 KB JPG >work at cab firm >started about 6 months ago on part time contract >family business, owner has worked there all her life >everyone in the office is older and like family, we go out drinking and have birthday events >people are down to earth and talk s--- >good relationships with most of the drivers >every shift is eventful or funny regardless of who I work with I went in today with an hours notice because someone called in sick and got paid an extra hour, given 2 christmas presents from the boss and 100 for a christmas bonus all in cash.

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The Zoomer Lens | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 70 KB JPG 12/22/23(Fri)03:42:56 No.75848792 anybody else really f------ hate zoomers? >all of them mumble in tiktok slang and ebonics like f------ retards and can't make eye contact >all have the same s----- haircut >brains fried by social media and public "school" >shuffle around in baggy jeans dragging their feet everywhere >can't do anything without music playing because their brains are so f------ empty there's nothing going on up there >walk around in public staring at their phones instead of looking where they're going >zero skills, too stupid for STEM and too weak for manual labor If the future of this country rests on these subhumans then truly we are lost.
Anonymous 70 KB JPG 12/22/23(Fri)03:42:56 No.75848792 anybody else really f------ hate zoomers? >all of them mumble in tiktok slang and ebonics like f------ retards and can't make eye contact >all have the same s----- haircut >brains fried by social media and public "school" >shuffle around in baggy jeans dragging their feet everywhere >can't do anything without music playing because their brains are so f------ empty there's nothing going on up there >walk around in public staring at their phones instead of looking where they're going >zero skills, too stupid for STEM and too weak for manual labor If the future of this country rests on these subhumans then truly we are lost.

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The Catastrophic Button | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: ElsmyzxB) [ O 153 KB PNG 12/22/23(Fri)07:26:27 No.19275154 >new feature: panic button >nice >j------- >Dad comes in >hit panic button >Opera GX opens twitter in new panic tab >my twitter feed shows a thick furry femboy farting in someones mouth >mfw it would have been less humiliating to be catched with my d--- out looking at actual p---
Anonymous (ID: ElsmyzxB) [ O 153 KB PNG 12/22/23(Fri)07:26:27 No.19275154 >new feature: panic button >nice >j------- >Dad comes in >hit panic button >Opera GX opens twitter in new panic tab >my twitter feed shows a thick furry femboy farting in someones mouth >mfw it would have been less humiliating to be catched with my d--- out looking at actual p---

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Seeing Beyond | /r/Greentext

12/21/23(Thu)20:34:36 No.75845718 >someone asks an innocuous question about my personal life as a way of making small talk >assume they're trying to psychoanalyze me and provide a false answer, even if the true answer is, in itself normal and fine >now I have to keep track of all these miscellaneous white lies just so people don't get suspicious I can't be the only one that does this Anonymous 26 KB JPG
12/21/23(Thu)20:34:36 No.75845718 >someone asks an innocuous question about my personal life as a way of making small talk >assume they're trying to psychoanalyze me and provide a false answer, even if the true answer is, in itself normal and fine >now I have to keep track of all these miscellaneous white lies just so people don't get suspicious I can't be the only one that does this Anonymous 26 KB JPG

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Anon makes pies | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/21/23(Thu)16:39:55 No.911150216 >be 17yo me >working as wagecuck for McDonald's >drive thru headsets were ass back then >guy pulls up and sounds like Jaba the Hutt >ask him what he would like >LARGE ORDER OF PIES >"im sorry sir, how many pies exactly?" >WELL HOW MANY USUSALLY COME IN A BOX?! >tell him i'll go check >run to the freezer and look at the side of a frozen box of pies >don't remember the exact amount so let's say 30 >"Sorry about that sir, about 30 come in a box" >"JUST GIVE ME THE DAMN PIES 102 KB JPG >hear him drive away and ring him up for 30 pies >he pulls up, fat chud with a goatee and a heavily gelled mowhawk to small for the size of his fat f------ head >shoves his fat hand through the crack in his window putting his card in my face while blasting Metallica >kinda pisses me off so I just ring him up and hand him his card back he doesn't even wait for the receipt just takes off to the window >up front their dropping pies like crazy, they tell him it's going to be a wait >hear him yell in the back >HOW LONG DOES IT TAKE TO MAKES A GODDAMN ORDER OF FRIES?! >I ask "hey did that guy just say fries?!" >they say yeah >"tell him I rung him up for 30 pies!" >hear his f------ horn beep as he hits it in a fit of rage >start laughing my ass off >they refund his money and watch as his fatass leaves the drivethrough : Anonymous 12/21/23(Thu)16:43:00 No.911150332 His small Mohawk in comparison to his fat f------ head *dead*
: Anonymous 12/21/23(Thu)16:39:55 No.911150216 >be 17yo me >working as wagecuck for McDonald's >drive thru headsets were ass back then >guy pulls up and sounds like Jaba the Hutt >ask him what he would like >LARGE ORDER OF PIES >"im sorry sir, how many pies exactly?" >WELL HOW MANY USUSALLY COME IN A BOX?! >tell him i'll go check >run to the freezer and look at the side of a frozen box of pies >don't remember the exact amount so let's say 30 >"Sorry about that sir, about 30 come in a box" >"JUST GIVE ME THE DAMN PIES 102 KB JPG >hear him drive away and ring him up for 30 pies >he pulls up, fat chud with a goatee and a heavily gelled mowhawk to small for the size of his fat f------ head >shoves his fat hand through the crack in his window putting his card in my face while blasting Metallica >kinda pisses me off so I just ring him up and hand him his card back he doesn't even wait for the receipt just takes off to the window >up front their dropping pies like crazy, they tell him it's going to be a wait >hear him yell in the back >HOW LONG DOES IT TAKE TO MAKES A GODDAMN ORDER OF FRIES?! >I ask "hey did that guy just say fries?!" >they say yeah >"tell him I rung him up for 30 pies!" >hear his f------ horn beep as he hits it in a fit of rage >start laughing my ass off >they refund his money and watch as his fatass leaves the drivethrough : Anonymous 12/21/23(Thu)16:43:00 No.911150332 His small Mohawk in comparison to his fat f------ head *dead*

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Heartstrings at Work | /r/Greentext

12/22/23(Fri)02:20:07 No.75848348 >have massive feelings for my cute coworker >try to take things slow cause i just started >don't wanna make things weird >some new guy starts and within a week they're practically in love with eachother flirting like crazy >they have a s--- ton of fun while working like I never knew how Anonymous 1.92 MB GIF >basically just get to watch the girl of my dreams fall in love and get closer and closer to some random guy cause im worthless I hate myself and my life with such intense burning passion it's indescribable
12/22/23(Fri)02:20:07 No.75848348 >have massive feelings for my cute coworker >try to take things slow cause i just started >don't wanna make things weird >some new guy starts and within a week they're practically in love with eachother flirting like crazy >they have a s--- ton of fun while working like I never knew how Anonymous 1.92 MB GIF >basically just get to watch the girl of my dreams fall in love and get closer and closer to some random guy cause im worthless I hate myself and my life with such intense burning passion it's indescribable

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Friendship Dynamics | /r/Greentext

Mogged by friend over autist girl An Mogged by friend over autist g(...) 11 KB JPG 12/21/23(Thu)23:01:17 No.75846962 >meet qt girl on discord thru mutual >she has the same autistic interests as me >stuff that girls never care about >history, worldbuilding, politics, coding >somewhat religious >we have similar taste in memes too >and from similar parts of the world >i think hey maybe this could work we're similar enough >my friend tells me he's seen her nudes >and that she called him handsome >he sends me dm's >she says "why should I even be friends with him" about me >she tells my friend she'd wanna be one of his "concubines" about him not me Come to think of it, she didn't really say much about my face when I sent her a pic, compared to how she called my friend handsome. At least I learned autistic girls are in no way different from normie girls when it comes to attraction. Nothing matters, just looking attractive. The dating version of Might Makes Right. Pic is how I feel right now.
Mogged by friend over autist girl An Mogged by friend over autist g(...) 11 KB JPG 12/21/23(Thu)23:01:17 No.75846962 >meet qt girl on discord thru mutual >she has the same autistic interests as me >stuff that girls never care about >history, worldbuilding, politics, coding >somewhat religious >we have similar taste in memes too >and from similar parts of the world >i think hey maybe this could work we're similar enough >my friend tells me he's seen her nudes >and that she called him handsome >he sends me dm's >she says "why should I even be friends with him" about me >she tells my friend she'd wanna be one of his "concubines" about him not me Come to think of it, she didn't really say much about my face when I sent her a pic, compared to how she called my friend handsome. At least I learned autistic girls are in no way different from normie girls when it comes to attraction. Nothing matters, just looking attractive. The dating version of Might Makes Right. Pic is how I feel right now.

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Anon blames his mother | /r/Greentext

File: Pepe Sad.png (17 KB, 618x526) Anonymous 12/22/23(Fri)00:57:08 No.75845371 [Reply] ► > Be me, happy 5 year old. Dad is an engineer. Mum takes such good care of me and sis > Be 16. Stressing over school work and exams. > Mum is worried about me. > "Anon, no one should work this hard, you're going to have a breakdown" > Let exams come and go. Peers all get better grades than me, but at I do OK > Be 18. Tell mum I want to go to college and be an engineer like Dad. > "Anon, that's a stupid idea. Your father worked himself to death, he was so unhappy. Just get a simple job you enjoy" > Be 25, working waggie job, but I'm content. Still live at home because waggie money > Be 29, meet wonderful cutie at work. She's awkward and boyish, but we get on and start dating > So happy with Cutie. > She tells me she's moving to NY and wants me to come with her > Mum says "Anon, that's a stupid idea, you can't move to NY. Just stay here, you'll meet someone new" > Cutie leaves. I'm distraught > Mum says "Anon, there are so many nice women here at home. You'll find someone new, you'll see" > Years pass. Still single, still working waggie job. > Peers are all making good money, have partners and children > Old school friend takes pity on me, offers me an apprenticeship with his company in TX. > Mum hates the idea "Don't be stupid Anon, you have a job already. Just stay there" > More years pass. Overhear Mum on the phone one day > "I don't know why Anon never became successful. He's never met a nice woman, never chased his dreams..." > Never felt like such a failure in my whole life I've f----- up Anons. I had one chance with a wonderful women and I let her go to NY without me.
File: Pepe Sad.png (17 KB, 618x526) Anonymous 12/22/23(Fri)00:57:08 No.75845371 [Reply] ► > Be me, happy 5 year old. Dad is an engineer. Mum takes such good care of me and sis > Be 16. Stressing over school work and exams. > Mum is worried about me. > "Anon, no one should work this hard, you're going to have a breakdown" > Let exams come and go. Peers all get better grades than me, but at I do OK > Be 18. Tell mum I want to go to college and be an engineer like Dad. > "Anon, that's a stupid idea. Your father worked himself to death, he was so unhappy. Just get a simple job you enjoy" > Be 25, working waggie job, but I'm content. Still live at home because waggie money > Be 29, meet wonderful cutie at work. She's awkward and boyish, but we get on and start dating > So happy with Cutie. > She tells me she's moving to NY and wants me to come with her > Mum says "Anon, that's a stupid idea, you can't move to NY. Just stay here, you'll meet someone new" > Cutie leaves. I'm distraught > Mum says "Anon, there are so many nice women here at home. You'll find someone new, you'll see" > Years pass. Still single, still working waggie job. > Peers are all making good money, have partners and children > Old school friend takes pity on me, offers me an apprenticeship with his company in TX. > Mum hates the idea "Don't be stupid Anon, you have a job already. Just stay there" > More years pass. Overhear Mum on the phone one day > "I don't know why Anon never became successful. He's never met a nice woman, never chased his dreams..." > Never felt like such a failure in my whole life I've f----- up Anons. I had one chance with a wonderful women and I let her go to NY without me.

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Anon got wrecked lmao | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 46 KB JPG 12/13/23(Wed)07:24:09 No.910742896 >taco bell employee says "oh wow, got yourself a big order there" in the drive- thru what is the ideal rope for nooses 14 Replies / 1 Image View Thread
: Anonymous 46 KB JPG 12/13/23(Wed)07:24:09 No.910742896 >taco bell employee says "oh wow, got yourself a big order there" in the drive- thru what is the ideal rope for nooses 14 Replies / 1 Image View Thread

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Lucked out | /r/Greentext

1h (12/22 1:52) · 75843971 · 1 Re · 0 Img JPG 54KB (540 × 511) · 15091800293821.jpg 1 Reply : >coworker tells me that one of our coworkers died in a car crash the other night >say "Lucky" >everyone gets really offended I was trying to make a dark joke like I was jealous of him dying instantly in a car crash but I don't think they understood what I meant. Everyone was f------ p----- at me, I think I might actually get fired for this.
1h (12/22 1:52) · 75843971 · 1 Re · 0 Img JPG 54KB (540 × 511) · 15091800293821.jpg 1 Reply : >coworker tells me that one of our coworkers died in a car crash the other night >say "Lucky" >everyone gets really offended I was trying to make a dark joke like I was jealous of him dying instantly in a car crash but I don't think they understood what I meant. Everyone was f------ p----- at me, I think I might actually get fired for this.

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The Peculiar Ask | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 567 KB PNG 12/22/23(Fri)02:44:20 No.75848476 >be me >read manga >in manga girl's boobs float in water >have sister >ask sister if her boobs float in water >"What the f--- Anon? You are so f------ weird and creepy please leave" What the f---? I just wanted to ask a question...
Anonymous 567 KB PNG 12/22/23(Fri)02:44:20 No.75848476 >be me >read manga >in manga girl's boobs float in water >have sister >ask sister if her boobs float in water >"What the f--- Anon? You are so f------ weird and creepy please leave" What the f---? I just wanted to ask a question...

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Hidden Her | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 12/21/23(Thu)19:53:14 I want to be a woman. (At least for sex) 1.34 MB JPG No.75845338 >multiple ways of masturbating: we men only have one and its repetitive. >if you dont have any talent you can just create an onlyfans >having a couple is easier >you can tell all your problems to your female friends and they will listen, or your boyfriend :3 >strong relationships with others
Anonymous 12/21/23(Thu)19:53:14 I want to be a woman. (At least for sex) 1.34 MB JPG No.75845338 >multiple ways of masturbating: we men only have one and its repetitive. >if you dont have any talent you can just create an onlyfans >having a couple is easier >you can tell all your problems to your female friends and they will listen, or your boyfriend :3 >strong relationships with others

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Anon does a tad bit of trolling | /r/Greentext

114 KB PNG >be me >homebuilder gottem >doing custom job for a client whose been a prick the whole time >one day my team is installing bathroom fixtures >time to get our revenge >drop a mean s--- into the toilet just after its been installed >close lid and leave it in there >stays in place until we finish the house days later >client does tour just after completion >gets to upstairs bathroom >is disgusted by the smell from the toilet >flushes >it's a load-bearing turd >house collapses
114 KB PNG >be me >homebuilder gottem >doing custom job for a client whose been a prick the whole time >one day my team is installing bathroom fixtures >time to get our revenge >drop a mean s--- into the toilet just after its been installed >close lid and leave it in there >stays in place until we finish the house days later >client does tour just after completion >gets to upstairs bathroom >is disgusted by the smell from the toilet >flushes >it's a load-bearing turd >house collapses

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Anon becomes a normie | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous you f------ liars 23 KB PNG 09/15/23(Fri)16:33:12 No.74745239 >be me, 23 year old NEET >get off my ass for once and sign up for community college >attend classes in person because I know if I do online I'll slack off >interact with other people for the first time in 5 years (since high school) >nobody talks about sexual market value >nobody cares about bone structure or physiognomy >girls aren't immediately rejecting guys with negative canthal tilt or recessed chins >see other bald/balding people my age socializing and having friends >tentatively ask if I can sit near a group of people (guys and girls) >they say sure and include me in the conversation did... did 4chan lie to me about normies? what the f---?
: Anonymous you f------ liars 23 KB PNG 09/15/23(Fri)16:33:12 No.74745239 >be me, 23 year old NEET >get off my ass for once and sign up for community college >attend classes in person because I know if I do online I'll slack off >interact with other people for the first time in 5 years (since high school) >nobody talks about sexual market value >nobody cares about bone structure or physiognomy >girls aren't immediately rejecting guys with negative canthal tilt or recessed chins >see other bald/balding people my age socializing and having friends >tentatively ask if I can sit near a group of people (guys and girls) >they say sure and include me in the conversation did... did 4chan lie to me about normies? what the f---?

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The Cost-Evasion | /r/Greentext

Anonymous do not do this $$$ 55 872 KB GIF 5 12/21/23(Thu)22:27:21 No.75846663 >go to h----- >put money on table >f--- her >take the money back and leave its free p---- and you don't need to pay a dime since they can't call the cops Anonymous 12/21/23(Thu)22:32:12 No.75846713 >he found out about the free sex glitch based, but keep quiet or else the devs might try to patch it and take away our free sex.
Anonymous do not do this $$$ 55 872 KB GIF 5 12/21/23(Thu)22:27:21 No.75846663 >go to h----- >put money on table >f--- her >take the money back and leave its free p---- and you don't need to pay a dime since they can't call the cops Anonymous 12/21/23(Thu)22:32:12 No.75846713 >he found out about the free sex glitch based, but keep quiet or else the devs might try to patch it and take away our free sex.

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