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A Display of Power | /r/Greentext

1h (10/16 7:05) · 75083014 · 1 Re - 0 Img JPG 234KB (1024 × 1261) · gigachad2.jpg 1 Reply . SLEENTEARS >That's okay, Mr. Home Depot Employee Man. I understand that the bathrooms are under maintenance, and no one can do anything about it in the time being. May I use one of your public display toilets instead? :
1h (10/16 7:05) · 75083014 · 1 Re - 0 Img JPG 234KB (1024 × 1261) · gigachad2.jpg 1 Reply . SLEENTEARS >That's okay, Mr. Home Depot Employee Man. I understand that the bathrooms are under maintenance, and no one can do anything about it in the time being. May I use one of your public display toilets instead? :

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Kidnapped? Heh not my problem | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: T4pbbdZW 10/16/23(Mon)20:34:52 No.445066437 NEWS ISRAEL WAR 2023 Landlord allegedly demands rent from abducted Israeli woman, threatens to clear belongings before changing tune By Yaron Steinbuch Published Oct. 13, 2023, 1:40 p.m. ET oyvey.jpg 157 KB JPG >woman gets kidnapped by Hamas in Israel >landlord threatens to evict her roommate unless she pays the rent is this the most Jewish story of all time?
: Anonymous (ID: T4pbbdZW 10/16/23(Mon)20:34:52 No.445066437 NEWS ISRAEL WAR 2023 Landlord allegedly demands rent from abducted Israeli woman, threatens to clear belongings before changing tune By Yaron Steinbuch Published Oct. 13, 2023, 1:40 p.m. ET oyvey.jpg 157 KB JPG >woman gets kidnapped by Hamas in Israel >landlord threatens to evict her roommate unless she pays the rent is this the most Jewish story of all time?

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Anon starts lifting | /r/Greentext

File: 1694446381643254.png (286 KB, 2000x2000) Anonymous 10/16/23(Mon)10:21:57 No.72540342 >be socially autistic >start lifting weights >get strong pretty quickly >testosterone skyrockets >still socially autistic >ican'tbreed.jpeg >simp instincts become more prevalent >be disgusted with myself >lift even more weight to vent >simp instincts only grow stronger >gym becomes a coping mechanism >now I'm just a buff incel >remain in a semi-permanent state of simp behavior >mind is 50% gym science and 50% sexooo f--- you guys, I thought lifting weights was supposed to be beneficial
File: 1694446381643254.png (286 KB, 2000x2000) Anonymous 10/16/23(Mon)10:21:57 No.72540342 >be socially autistic >start lifting weights >get strong pretty quickly >testosterone skyrockets >still socially autistic >ican'tbreed.jpeg >simp instincts become more prevalent >be disgusted with myself >lift even more weight to vent >simp instincts only grow stronger >gym becomes a coping mechanism >now I'm just a buff incel >remain in a semi-permanent state of simp behavior >mind is 50% gym science and 50% sexooo f--- you guys, I thought lifting weights was supposed to be beneficial

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That will save gobs of electricity | /r/Greentext

Liberals logic Anonymous (ID: txWLy/oG) 10/16/23 (Mon)04 >Ban incadescent light bulbs because they use too much electricity >Force people to use: electric cars electric lawnmowers electric leafblowers electric cookers electric heaters
Liberals logic Anonymous (ID: txWLy/oG) 10/16/23 (Mon)04 >Ban incadescent light bulbs because they use too much electricity >Force people to use: electric cars electric lawnmowers electric leafblowers electric cookers electric heaters

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Anon Remembers | /r/Greentext

File: mindyworld.png (959 KB, 1200x900) ☐ Remember When Anonymous 10/16/23(Mon)14:15:54 No.75082292 ► Do you guys remember that one weird episode of Drake and Josh? >Be Josh >Nervous about something for half the episode >Drake pesters for info >Finally give in and confess "Mindy and I haven't gone all the way because my shlong hangs left!" >Drake is flabbergasted >Reassures that some women even prefer it >Finally build the courage to tell Mindy >She gives that sly smile like she always does >Episode ends with a hug and a feel-good message for all the guys with weird boners I cannot believe they aired this content on a kids network.
File: mindyworld.png (959 KB, 1200x900) ☐ Remember When Anonymous 10/16/23(Mon)14:15:54 No.75082292 ► Do you guys remember that one weird episode of Drake and Josh? >Be Josh >Nervous about something for half the episode >Drake pesters for info >Finally give in and confess "Mindy and I haven't gone all the way because my shlong hangs left!" >Drake is flabbergasted >Reassures that some women even prefer it >Finally build the courage to tell Mindy >She gives that sly smile like she always does >Episode ends with a hug and a feel-good message for all the guys with weird boners I cannot believe they aired this content on a kids network.

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Should happen more often | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/15/23(Sun)10:41:26 No.654219985 BIOWARE 1684309985217171.png 444 KB PNG >have a formula for a game that your niche audience enjoys >slowly change it to appeal to a "wider audience" >it's s--- and your core fanbase now hates you >some small studio picks up your game formula >they make the biggest game of the year while your studio is facing layoffs It's like some divine justice.
: Anonymous 10/15/23(Sun)10:41:26 No.654219985 BIOWARE 1684309985217171.png 444 KB PNG >have a formula for a game that your niche audience enjoys >slowly change it to appeal to a "wider audience" >it's s--- and your core fanbase now hates you >some small studio picks up your game formula >they make the biggest game of the year while your studio is facing layoffs It's like some divine justice.

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Mind over matter | /r/Greentext

Anonymous Mirin - female harassment thre(...) 1.63 MB WEBM 03/29/21(Mon)05:43:07 >"take off your shirt" >uh... ok. No.60626198 >needed a covid test so went to a nearby clinic >hot 8/10 25yo-ish nurse calls my name and asks me to go in a testing room >"take of your shirt anon" >wat? >takes a sample from my NOSE for 30 seconds while touching my shoulders and arms >"you can get dressed now" >ask her why did I had to be shirtless >"because I wanted to. NEXT" >tested positive even though I feel fine
Anonymous Mirin - female harassment thre(...) 1.63 MB WEBM 03/29/21(Mon)05:43:07 >"take off your shirt" >uh... ok. No.60626198 >needed a covid test so went to a nearby clinic >hot 8/10 25yo-ish nurse calls my name and asks me to go in a testing room >"take of your shirt anon" >wat? >takes a sample from my NOSE for 30 seconds while touching my shoulders and arms >"you can get dressed now" >ask her why did I had to be shirtless >"because I wanted to. NEXT" >tested positive even though I feel fine

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Rise and grind, kings | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: 7ElmsH8+) B 124 KB PNG 10/15/23(Sun)17:10:37 No.444917333 >Wake up at 4:00 AM to the sound of Israeli bombs >Good, now i'm wide awake >Shower with liquid nitrogen >Take a s---, have s--- for breakfast to preserve energy >See neighbor's house has been turned to rubble from airstrike >Scream "LET'S GET IT" >No response from neighbor cause he doesn't get the grind >Second airstrike hits my house >Get hit by a white phosphorus bomb, burning 50% of my body >Good, no nerve ends, no suffering >Leave for jiu-jitsu class at 4:05 AM
: Anonymous (ID: 7ElmsH8+) B 124 KB PNG 10/15/23(Sun)17:10:37 No.444917333 >Wake up at 4:00 AM to the sound of Israeli bombs >Good, now i'm wide awake >Shower with liquid nitrogen >Take a s---, have s--- for breakfast to preserve energy >See neighbor's house has been turned to rubble from airstrike >Scream "LET'S GET IT" >No response from neighbor cause he doesn't get the grind >Second airstrike hits my house >Get hit by a white phosphorus bomb, burning 50% of my body >Good, no nerve ends, no suffering >Leave for jiu-jitsu class at 4:05 AM

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Anon watches Hentai | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 2016-07-17 02:23:20 Post No. 30002091 [Report] Image search: [Google] >be me 18 >looking at hentai and jerking off >dad calls me to come and look at something on tv >tell him im busy and to hold on >5 minutes later he asks what im 9 KB, 205x246 doing >i say nothing >he comes to my room and starts trying to open the door >tell him to stop before he regrets it >he picks the f------ lock >he sees my c--- out and i start pushing the door closed but hes still trying to get in >push him away from the door so he doesn't come on >pushes his way into my room and punches me in the face then storms off Why the f--- can't I get any privacy?
Anonymous 2016-07-17 02:23:20 Post No. 30002091 [Report] Image search: [Google] >be me 18 >looking at hentai and jerking off >dad calls me to come and look at something on tv >tell him im busy and to hold on >5 minutes later he asks what im 9 KB, 205x246 doing >i say nothing >he comes to my room and starts trying to open the door >tell him to stop before he regrets it >he picks the f------ lock >he sees my c--- out and i start pushing the door closed but hes still trying to get in >push him away from the door so he doesn't come on >pushes his way into my room and punches me in the face then storms off Why the f--- can't I get any privacy?

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Anon plays yu-gi-oh | /r/Greentext

O Anonymous (ID: (44771M4D) 08/26/14(Tue)20:43:08 No.564979614 ► File: 177228.jpg (55 KB, 307x450) RETRIVE >be me >be 10 >be in 5th grade >in love with yugioh >spent all my allowance on cards and would never miss an episode >other people in my school liked yugioh but not as much as me >then suddenly meet this kid >let's call him Connor >Connor loves yugioh just as much as I do >we become best friends on the spot >he was a bit shy and I was his only friend but he was the nicest kid you'd ever meet >every Saturday morning I would go over to his house and we would duel and watch the show >his favorite character was Joey because his favorite card was the red eyes black dragon >Connor loved his red-eyes black dragon >every deck he made he would incorporate it in some way for those that don't know, red-eyes black dragon isn't that fantastic of a card so I don't know why he liked it so much >fast forwards a few months >Connor is diagnosed with leukemia >me being a happy go lucky kid, I assumed it would just go away after awhile and my best friend would be back on his feet in no time >It only got worst >Connor was sent to live in the hospital >still go to visit him every Saturday in the hospital >this goes on for weeks >one day I visit him and turn on yugioh >it's the episode where Joey gives Yugi his Red-Eyes because he knew he wasn't a strong enough duelist to use it yet and wanted Yugi to hold onto it until he became stronger >Connor and I finish the epsiode and he hands me his red-eyes from the deck on his bedside table >He tells me "I want you to hold onto this until I get better. And don't give it back to me until I do. You have to make that promise. But once I become strong again I want it back and I'll kick your butt." >I start tearing up >It means so much to me that he would give me his prized card > he never got better 10 years later and I'm still holding onto it for you, buddy
O Anonymous (ID: (44771M4D) 08/26/14(Tue)20:43:08 No.564979614 ► File: 177228.jpg (55 KB, 307x450) RETRIVE >be me >be 10 >be in 5th grade >in love with yugioh >spent all my allowance on cards and would never miss an episode >other people in my school liked yugioh but not as much as me >then suddenly meet this kid >let's call him Connor >Connor loves yugioh just as much as I do >we become best friends on the spot >he was a bit shy and I was his only friend but he was the nicest kid you'd ever meet >every Saturday morning I would go over to his house and we would duel and watch the show >his favorite character was Joey because his favorite card was the red eyes black dragon >Connor loved his red-eyes black dragon >every deck he made he would incorporate it in some way for those that don't know, red-eyes black dragon isn't that fantastic of a card so I don't know why he liked it so much >fast forwards a few months >Connor is diagnosed with leukemia >me being a happy go lucky kid, I assumed it would just go away after awhile and my best friend would be back on his feet in no time >It only got worst >Connor was sent to live in the hospital >still go to visit him every Saturday in the hospital >this goes on for weeks >one day I visit him and turn on yugioh >it's the episode where Joey gives Yugi his Red-Eyes because he knew he wasn't a strong enough duelist to use it yet and wanted Yugi to hold onto it until he became stronger >Connor and I finish the epsiode and he hands me his red-eyes from the deck on his bedside table >He tells me "I want you to hold onto this until I get better. And don't give it back to me until I do. You have to make that promise. But once I become strong again I want it back and I'll kick your butt." >I start tearing up >It means so much to me that he would give me his prized card > he never got better 10 years later and I'm still holding onto it for you, buddy

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Good Night Sweet Prince | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: HrwH+9h3) 02/26/13(Tue)17:19:23 UTC-8 No.461541889 Replies: My hampster just died too >drunk as f--- >painstakingly make vest for hampster > string tied to vest >other end tied to blade of ceiling fan >didnt measure string right >turn on the fan >hampster slams into the wall at mach speed, so fast part of the drywall cracked In my drunk brain it was suppost to be a carnival type ride for him Goodnight sweet price
Anonymous (ID: HrwH+9h3) 02/26/13(Tue)17:19:23 UTC-8 No.461541889 Replies: My hampster just died too >drunk as f--- >painstakingly make vest for hampster > string tied to vest >other end tied to blade of ceiling fan >didnt measure string right >turn on the fan >hampster slams into the wall at mach speed, so fast part of the drywall cracked In my drunk brain it was suppost to be a carnival type ride for him Goodnight sweet price

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Anon feeds his puppy. | /r/Greentext

10h (10/15 16:54) 4642531 3 Re. 0 Img PNG 202KB (414 × 425) 1.png >be me >11 years old >gets a beagle puppy for birthday, named him sparky because im very original >pretty much played with him every day >one day i watch a documentary about birds >notice said birds mouth feeding their young >gets an idea >sparky is till teething, so he can only eat soft foods >decides to chew up cheerios and mouth feed him the mush by prying his mouth open >does this in secret for about a month whenever we ran out of dog food >genuinely thought i was being resourceful and smart >eventually it was time for another feeding session, had a bowl of cereal prepared and everything >midway through my mom comes into my room >"hey anon have you seen my- WHAT ARE YOU DOING." >she notices what was doing, my mouth was inches away from sparky's >"It's not what it looks like!" >she wasn't having it, had me and sparky separated for a while : >hasn't had a dog since then >parents still look at me funny whenever I visit them, since they have their own dog To this day they'll never let me live this down, they still bring up the incident at family gatherings. I f------ hate my life
10h (10/15 16:54) 4642531 3 Re. 0 Img PNG 202KB (414 × 425) 1.png >be me >11 years old >gets a beagle puppy for birthday, named him sparky because im very original >pretty much played with him every day >one day i watch a documentary about birds >notice said birds mouth feeding their young >gets an idea >sparky is till teething, so he can only eat soft foods >decides to chew up cheerios and mouth feed him the mush by prying his mouth open >does this in secret for about a month whenever we ran out of dog food >genuinely thought i was being resourceful and smart >eventually it was time for another feeding session, had a bowl of cereal prepared and everything >midway through my mom comes into my room >"hey anon have you seen my- WHAT ARE YOU DOING." >she notices what was doing, my mouth was inches away from sparky's >"It's not what it looks like!" >she wasn't having it, had me and sparky separated for a while : >hasn't had a dog since then >parents still look at me funny whenever I visit them, since they have their own dog To this day they'll never let me live this down, they still bring up the incident at family gatherings. I f------ hate my life

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Anon gets tricked. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 2.12 MB PNG 10/15/23(Sun)23:52:02 No.75078982 >ate a schizophrenic girl's p---- >she says it was a trick and now I have her vagina flora forever and it will affect my brain ??
Anonymous 2.12 MB PNG 10/15/23(Sun)23:52:02 No.75078982 >ate a schizophrenic girl's p---- >she says it was a trick and now I have her vagina flora forever and it will affect my brain ??

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Anon finds a study | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: A/t3K+VT 31 KB JPG 07/11/20(Sat)20:34:11 No.267508620 >>267507531 (OP) # >New study suggests that holding literally any dissident belief is tied to having low iq, having a small penis, and being a virgin
Anonymous (ID: A/t3K+VT 31 KB JPG 07/11/20(Sat)20:34:11 No.267508620 >>267507531 (OP) # >New study suggests that holding literally any dissident belief is tied to having low iq, having a small penis, and being a virgin

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trouble with eye contact | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 25 KB PNG 10/15/2023,10:14:08 PM > stare into void > void looks away No.30076388
Anonymous 25 KB PNG 10/15/2023,10:14:08 PM > stare into void > void looks away No.30076388

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Corporate needs you to find the difference between this picture and this picture. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: ss/Cq5jr ) [+] 36 KB JPG 10/15/23(Sun)15:56:43 No.444985564 7 KB JPG >yes I'm here for the job interview Would you hire this gentleman? : Anonymous (ID: ss/Cq5jr) 10/15/23(Sun)15:57:47 No.444985690 Sorry, i meant this picture. : Anonymous (ID: W3xCcZ4b 10/15/23(Sun)16:05:46 No.444986586 It's the same picture anon
: Anonymous (ID: ss/Cq5jr ) [+] 36 KB JPG 10/15/23(Sun)15:56:43 No.444985564 7 KB JPG >yes I'm here for the job interview Would you hire this gentleman? : Anonymous (ID: ss/Cq5jr) 10/15/23(Sun)15:57:47 No.444985690 Sorry, i meant this picture. : Anonymous (ID: W3xCcZ4b 10/15/23(Sun)16:05:46 No.444986586 It's the same picture anon

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Do the girls know anon is a based no fapper? | /r/Greentext


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Anon calls in sick | /r/Greentext

24 KB PNG How do I break a finger as painlessly as possible? Called in sick to work, boss asked why and my autism kicked in and I said I broke my finger. Have decided on right pinky.
24 KB PNG How do I break a finger as painlessly as possible? Called in sick to work, boss asked why and my autism kicked in and I said I broke my finger. Have decided on right pinky.

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Anon wants to say it | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/15/23(Sun)17:54:01 No.654274773 Screenshot_20231015-175232.png 339 KB PNG >"it's just a word miles, why shouldn't I be allowed to say it?"
: Anonymous 10/15/23(Sun)17:54:01 No.654274773 Screenshot_20231015-175232.png 339 KB PNG >"it's just a word miles, why shouldn't I be allowed to say it?"

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Anon gets a milkshake | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 10/15/23(Sun)20:05:28 No.75077352 A Screenshot 2023-10-15 at 8.05.03 PM.png 118 KB PNG >go to Wendy's >Order a frosty >Lady at register glances at me >She marks down the frosty as large without asking what size I wanted
Anonymous 10/15/23(Sun)20:05:28 No.75077352 A Screenshot 2023-10-15 at 8.05.03 PM.png 118 KB PNG >go to Wendy's >Order a frosty >Lady at register glances at me >She marks down the frosty as large without asking what size I wanted

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