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To birth a messiah | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 12/30/24(Mon)23:43:02 No.207472722 >futuristic technology >spaceships >giant force fields >massive clone armies >no reliable birth control padnakin.jpg 225 KB JPG
Anonymous 12/30/24(Mon)23:43:02 No.207472722 >futuristic technology >spaceships >giant force fields >massive clone armies >no reliable birth control padnakin.jpg 225 KB JPG

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Because it's good and it sells | /r/Greentext

114 KB JPG >Is that... >...A HOT GIRL WHO LOVES ME UNCONDITIONALLY? >AAAAAAAAAAHHHHH I'M GOING INSANE!!! Why is zoomer horror like this?
114 KB JPG >Is that... >...A HOT GIRL WHO LOVES ME UNCONDITIONALLY? >AAAAAAAAAAHHHHH I'M GOING INSANE!!! Why is zoomer horror like this?

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“One BILLION points to Gryffindor!” | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 01/01/25(Wed)21:04:48 No.207520700 File: dumbledore.png (193 KB, 592x532) >>207521023 >'One BILLION points to Gryffindor!" Dumbledore bellowed across the dining hall. "Hahahaha yes you heard me right, one BILLION points!" The students were left speechless as their headmaster cackled maniacally. "And you know what, NEGATIVE one billion points to Slytherin! Yes, hahaha! Yes, that will do!" The jaws of the Slytherin table dropped in unison. They were struck in disbelief by what they just heard. "I'm the headmaster! Hahaha I can do anything! ANYTHING! Even this!" Gandalf raised raised his wand and pointed it at Slytherin table. "Sectumsempra!" Goyle fell to the floor, clutching at the wounds that had suddenly manifested across his bulbous belly. "Crucio!" Ganondorf cried out once more. "What's the matter, Draco? You look a little glum for someone that was supposed to win the House Cup today!" Draco's expression turned from shock to a frown, whether by means of the cruciatus curse or by own his destitution when faced with certain death remain unclear. "Avada kedavra! Avada kedavra!" Dumbledore wailed calmly. Slytherin students fell to the floor en masse. After near every last member of the House of Slytherin laid dead before his outstretched legs, Dumbledore approach the still conscious Draco. "Hell will always be given to those who ask for it, my dear Draco." Dumbledore removed a ritual dagger from his robes and plunged it deep within Draco's heart, ending the Malfoy line once and for all. The prodigal of Slytherin's blood seeped down into the goblet beneath him, which Dumbledore had saved just for this occasion. As the blood finished pouring and the poor boy could stay upright no more, the headmaster cast the child's corpse aside and drank heartily from the chalice. Through blood-soaked teeth, the legendary Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore called for the attention of the remaining Hogwarts houses one last time. "A toast!" He proclaimed. "A toast, to gamers!" The students raised their own mugs in approval. What a magical year at Hogwarts!
Anonymous 01/01/25(Wed)21:04:48 No.207520700 File: dumbledore.png (193 KB, 592x532) >>207521023 >'One BILLION points to Gryffindor!" Dumbledore bellowed across the dining hall. "Hahahaha yes you heard me right, one BILLION points!" The students were left speechless as their headmaster cackled maniacally. "And you know what, NEGATIVE one billion points to Slytherin! Yes, hahaha! Yes, that will do!" The jaws of the Slytherin table dropped in unison. They were struck in disbelief by what they just heard. "I'm the headmaster! Hahaha I can do anything! ANYTHING! Even this!" Gandalf raised raised his wand and pointed it at Slytherin table. "Sectumsempra!" Goyle fell to the floor, clutching at the wounds that had suddenly manifested across his bulbous belly. "Crucio!" Ganondorf cried out once more. "What's the matter, Draco? You look a little glum for someone that was supposed to win the House Cup today!" Draco's expression turned from shock to a frown, whether by means of the cruciatus curse or by own his destitution when faced with certain death remain unclear. "Avada kedavra! Avada kedavra!" Dumbledore wailed calmly. Slytherin students fell to the floor en masse. After near every last member of the House of Slytherin laid dead before his outstretched legs, Dumbledore approach the still conscious Draco. "Hell will always be given to those who ask for it, my dear Draco." Dumbledore removed a ritual dagger from his robes and plunged it deep within Draco's heart, ending the Malfoy line once and for all. The prodigal of Slytherin's blood seeped down into the goblet beneath him, which Dumbledore had saved just for this occasion. As the blood finished pouring and the poor boy could stay upright no more, the headmaster cast the child's corpse aside and drank heartily from the chalice. Through blood-soaked teeth, the legendary Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore called for the attention of the remaining Hogwarts houses one last time. "A toast!" He proclaimed. "A toast, to gamers!" The students raised their own mugs in approval. What a magical year at Hogwarts!

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Anon Counters Boredom | /r/Greentext

>Be me > Bored > Idea.jpeg 32 KB JPEG > Decide to fabricate a bomb threat > Open my laptop and look for chad I don't like > ffw a few days > I've been talking with him and recorded him on my phone > Use his voice to generate an ai that sounds indistinguishable from him over the phone > *67 (phone number of school) > "This is school, if you want to speak with an administrator please press 1" >1 > "Hello this is administratior" > Plays ai "My name is blank and I am going to blow up the school Monday." > Hang up I'm like Batman but better
>Be me > Bored > Idea.jpeg 32 KB JPEG > Decide to fabricate a bomb threat > Open my laptop and look for chad I don't like > ffw a few days > I've been talking with him and recorded him on my phone > Use his voice to generate an ai that sounds indistinguishable from him over the phone > *67 (phone number of school) > "This is school, if you want to speak with an administrator please press 1" >1 > "Hello this is administratior" > Plays ai "My name is blank and I am going to blow up the school Monday." > Hang up I'm like Batman but better

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Anon doesn't care | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 12/29/24(Sun)08:06:16 No.698643963 >video game reviewer starts talking about his childhood
Anonymous 12/29/24(Sun)08:06:16 No.698643963 >video game reviewer starts talking about his childhood

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Hard working or hardly working? | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 15 KB PNG 3.1.2025, 19:28:43 > be me, shamless NEET > buy a new game, "House Flipper" > play it hours on end, love it No.86427242 > getting really good, this isn't so diffficult > idea.jpg > why not flip houses myself? > get a loan from the bank > buy cheap house, tools and supply > start working, new carpets, wallpaper, replace the fence and give the place a new coat of paint > try to instal new lights, need more wire > go to the local hardwareshop, get a nice cool coke and hotdog to reward myself > come back to my house project > it's buring, the f------ house is burning > it took all night to extinguish it, fireman asks me if I'm a f------ retard doing this without any professionals > next day, sitting on the rubble of my dreams > i dont know anything about handywork > i owe the bank half a milion > am ruined > house flipper has ruined my life I want a refund
Anonymous 15 KB PNG 3.1.2025, 19:28:43 > be me, shamless NEET > buy a new game, "House Flipper" > play it hours on end, love it No.86427242 > getting really good, this isn't so diffficult > idea.jpg > why not flip houses myself? > get a loan from the bank > buy cheap house, tools and supply > start working, new carpets, wallpaper, replace the fence and give the place a new coat of paint > try to instal new lights, need more wire > go to the local hardwareshop, get a nice cool coke and hotdog to reward myself > come back to my house project > it's buring, the f------ house is burning > it took all night to extinguish it, fireman asks me if I'm a f------ retard doing this without any professionals > next day, sitting on the rubble of my dreams > i dont know anything about handywork > i owe the bank half a milion > am ruined > house flipper has ruined my life I want a refund

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It actually makes sense despite being degenerate | /r/Greentext

>>202596752 (OP) This is becoming a problem, at first it was a few isolated cases but now it's an epidemic. Why aren't politicians and law enforcement doing anything about this? Serious answer: the whole appeal is self-inserting as the shota and being treated as a desirable object of affection by attractive women. Childhood is the last time women unconditionally love you, dote on you and allow you to be weak. After that you might as well be dead to them and you're expected to "earn" their attention. Basically you're there to impress her, but women don't feel the need to impress you. Projecting back to childhood but with awareness of your own (and their) sexuality makes for an appealing fantasy.
>>202596752 (OP) This is becoming a problem, at first it was a few isolated cases but now it's an epidemic. Why aren't politicians and law enforcement doing anything about this? Serious answer: the whole appeal is self-inserting as the shota and being treated as a desirable object of affection by attractive women. Childhood is the last time women unconditionally love you, dote on you and allow you to be weak. After that you might as well be dead to them and you're expected to "earn" their attention. Basically you're there to impress her, but women don't feel the need to impress you. Projecting back to childhood but with awareness of your own (and their) sexuality makes for an appealing fantasy.

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Life Ends at the Highway | /r/Greentext

Anonymous Countries by Traffic Deaths: Country/region 01/03/25(Fri)16:25:28 No.79942224 per Continent 100,000 inhabitants[1] veh 1 106 106 United States North America 12.9 114 Russia Europe 12.0 120 India Asia 11.30 16 KB PNG >Be American >Go outside >Get into your car >Go upstairs >Drive >Drive on the easiest roads in the world >Die in the most easily avoidable car accident ever Why are Americans so bad at driving? Anonymous >>79942224 (OP) MORE accidents than India? 01/03/25(Fri)16:28:03 No.79942249
Anonymous Countries by Traffic Deaths: Country/region 01/03/25(Fri)16:25:28 No.79942224 per Continent 100,000 inhabitants[1] veh 1 106 106 United States North America 12.9 114 Russia Europe 12.0 120 India Asia 11.30 16 KB PNG >Be American >Go outside >Get into your car >Go upstairs >Drive >Drive on the easiest roads in the world >Die in the most easily avoidable car accident ever Why are Americans so bad at driving? Anonymous >>79942224 (OP) MORE accidents than India? 01/03/25(Fri)16:28:03 No.79942249

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Anon Reads Duck Comics | /r/Greentext

File: cachedImage.jpg (28 KB, 316x316) ARNE ANKA UTSIKT FRÅN EN SVAMP KARTAGO Anonymous 01/03/25 (Fri)14:31:06 No.146992926 >reads and becomes obsessed with Scrooge comics >Remember that Carl banks and Disney are american >Develop severe depression and inferiority complex The life of a western European cartoonist post 1970 Anonymous 01/03/25(Fri)14:34:35 No.146992955 File: 1353078945395.gif (20 KB, 800x800) ATT TANKA NAMIN TALAR SOM ATT TORKA SE ROVEN INNAN MAN SKITER Anonymous 01/03/25(Fri)14:48:04 No.146993083 What's up with duck comics making people go insane Anonymous 01/03/25(Fri)14:51:07 No. 146993119 >>146993083 # Their doctors are quacks Anonymous 01/03/25(Fri)14:52:25 No.146993134 >>146993083 # They are the most famous and read comics worldwide, they are going to attract schizos Anonymous 01/03/25(Fri)14:52:57 No.146993146 >>146993083 # it's like proto sonic Anonymous 01/03/25(Fri)14:57:15 No.146993208 File: AmeREEEca.png (345 KB, 637x724) De 1A YOU The Tomb Cat fre >>146992926 (OP) # >bizarre obsession with Europe >obsessed with white history on the right, obsessed with its progressivism based on the left >so much so that a foreigner who complains about his own country gets called an ungrateful p------------ >AMERICANS are better than you cause we appreciate how good we have it >and our problems are worse than yours! >both sides love different parts of your feuding royalty eg white vs black inlaws >both REEEE if you hate your royalty full stop lol, Imao even Anonymous 01/03/25(Fri)15:56:35 No.146993780 File: IMG 1472.jpg (85 KB, 512x544) >>146993083 # Boomer equivalent of "if Meatcanyon Bugs is Claimed then He's Canon"
File: cachedImage.jpg (28 KB, 316x316) ARNE ANKA UTSIKT FRÅN EN SVAMP KARTAGO Anonymous 01/03/25 (Fri)14:31:06 No.146992926 >reads and becomes obsessed with Scrooge comics >Remember that Carl banks and Disney are american >Develop severe depression and inferiority complex The life of a western European cartoonist post 1970 Anonymous 01/03/25(Fri)14:34:35 No.146992955 File: 1353078945395.gif (20 KB, 800x800) ATT TANKA NAMIN TALAR SOM ATT TORKA SE ROVEN INNAN MAN SKITER Anonymous 01/03/25(Fri)14:48:04 No.146993083 What's up with duck comics making people go insane Anonymous 01/03/25(Fri)14:51:07 No. 146993119 >>146993083 # Their doctors are quacks Anonymous 01/03/25(Fri)14:52:25 No.146993134 >>146993083 # They are the most famous and read comics worldwide, they are going to attract schizos Anonymous 01/03/25(Fri)14:52:57 No.146993146 >>146993083 # it's like proto sonic Anonymous 01/03/25(Fri)14:57:15 No.146993208 File: AmeREEEca.png (345 KB, 637x724) De 1A YOU The Tomb Cat fre >>146992926 (OP) # >bizarre obsession with Europe >obsessed with white history on the right, obsessed with its progressivism based on the left >so much so that a foreigner who complains about his own country gets called an ungrateful p------------ >AMERICANS are better than you cause we appreciate how good we have it >and our problems are worse than yours! >both sides love different parts of your feuding royalty eg white vs black inlaws >both REEEE if you hate your royalty full stop lol, Imao even Anonymous 01/03/25(Fri)15:56:35 No.146993780 File: IMG 1472.jpg (85 KB, 512x544) >>146993083 # Boomer equivalent of "if Meatcanyon Bugs is Claimed then He's Canon"

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Anon can't stop being a neet | /r/Greentext

53m (01/03/25 09:01) 79939919 - 8 Re - 0 Img PNG 426KB (860 × 596) · 594-5948647_pepe-tired-coffee-apu-apustaja-tired-hd-png.png 3 Replies >pay to have fancy cv template >re word entire cv >have much work experience and qualifications >every job go to the main website to apply >craft a cover letter per job >tailor the skills in the CV to match the job to avoid being cucked by Al filters >apply to everything that you qualify for and even the bottom of the barrel tier sales and restaurant jobs >repeat ad infinitum >"unfortunately..." im tired anons this is b-------
53m (01/03/25 09:01) 79939919 - 8 Re - 0 Img PNG 426KB (860 × 596) · 594-5948647_pepe-tired-coffee-apu-apustaja-tired-hd-png.png 3 Replies >pay to have fancy cv template >re word entire cv >have much work experience and qualifications >every job go to the main website to apply >craft a cover letter per job >tailor the skills in the CV to match the job to avoid being cucked by Al filters >apply to everything that you qualify for and even the bottom of the barrel tier sales and restaurant jobs >repeat ad infinitum >"unfortunately..." im tired anons this is b-------

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Truly Genius | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 02/26/24(Mon)11:21:17 No.196653628 michael.png 2.67 MB PNG >always hear about how Michael Corleone is one of the most cunning characters in film history >finally watch The Godfather expecting some galaxy brain Machiavellian s--- >his master plan was to just f------ shoot everyone he doesn't like
Anonymous 02/26/24(Mon)11:21:17 No.196653628 michael.png 2.67 MB PNG >always hear about how Michael Corleone is one of the most cunning characters in film history >finally watch The Godfather expecting some galaxy brain Machiavellian s--- >his master plan was to just f------ shoot everyone he doesn't like

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What ? Does | /r/Greentext

A---- Kshatriya (ID: 7s5slSkV) Kshatriyism 431 KB JPG Deus Pitr to all 01/04/25(Sat)02:46:09 No.493199772 >be me >A---- Kshatriya >pureblood >my people conquered Indian subcontinent & Europa >we gave Sanskrit & Proto-Indo- European languages to everyone >we gave Indra i.e. Zeus & Pyotr i.e. >my religion is supreme
A---- Kshatriya (ID: 7s5slSkV) Kshatriyism 431 KB JPG Deus Pitr to all 01/04/25(Sat)02:46:09 No.493199772 >be me >A---- Kshatriya >pureblood >my people conquered Indian subcontinent & Europa >we gave Sanskrit & Proto-Indo- European languages to everyone >we gave Indra i.e. Zeus & Pyotr i.e. >my religion is supreme

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Future predictions | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: ukzw+V+C) = >>493197182 (OP) # 01/04/25(Sat)02:35:32 No.493198976 >the year is 2027 >You type in 4chan.org in your browser and it redirects you to Y.com (Elon renamed 4chan after he purchased it for $10k USD) >you log on using mandatory 2 factor authentication >4chan's newest chat bot, PEPE greets you and reminds you of your previous ban for posting Hitler memes >you ask PEPE to take you to /pol/ >PEPE mentions that the Y team did away with boards and the newest way to interact is in Y hubs >you open the politics and banter hub >the first post is Elon live streaming his new cybermoped >thousands of paid emotes fill up the screen >you scroll through the next 5 posts, all of them are boosted advertisements for various p--- and manga websites >as you scroll, you notice every post is about TVs because you made the mistake of googling TV prices without turning incognito on >try to post a G in an N thread to cheer yourself up >pepe notices the pattern and chides you for being racist >PEPE logs you out and sends you to leetcode.com for spending more than 5 minutes on leisure >>493200137 #
Anonymous (ID: ukzw+V+C) = >>493197182 (OP) # 01/04/25(Sat)02:35:32 No.493198976 >the year is 2027 >You type in 4chan.org in your browser and it redirects you to Y.com (Elon renamed 4chan after he purchased it for $10k USD) >you log on using mandatory 2 factor authentication >4chan's newest chat bot, PEPE greets you and reminds you of your previous ban for posting Hitler memes >you ask PEPE to take you to /pol/ >PEPE mentions that the Y team did away with boards and the newest way to interact is in Y hubs >you open the politics and banter hub >the first post is Elon live streaming his new cybermoped >thousands of paid emotes fill up the screen >you scroll through the next 5 posts, all of them are boosted advertisements for various p--- and manga websites >as you scroll, you notice every post is about TVs because you made the mistake of googling TV prices without turning incognito on >try to post a G in an N thread to cheer yourself up >pepe notices the pattern and chides you for being racist >PEPE logs you out and sends you to leetcode.com for spending more than 5 minutes on leisure >>493200137 #

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Know the School Rules | /r/Greentext

File: 1723257964548.jpg (16 KB, 524x522) Anonymous 01/01/25(Wed)07:54:55 No.207504653 >>207504774 >>207504791 >>207504872 >>207505010 >>207505335 >>207506734 >>207507148 >>207512414 >>207516675 >ACCESS TO THE FORBIDDEN FOREST IS STRICTLY FORBIDDEN! Anonymous 01/01/25(Wed)07:59:22 No.207504774 ►>>207504891 >>207504653 (OP) >UNLESS YOU ARE INSTRUCTED TO WANDER ALONE AT NIGHT IN THE VERY FIRST MOVIE! Anonymous 01/01/25(Wed)08:04:24 No.207504891 >>207504774 >STAY IN YOUR DORMITORIES AT NIGHT OR ELSE A F------ TROLL WILL CLUB YOU >DO NOT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WONDER ON A RANDOM STAIRCASE TO A RANDOM DOOR OR AN UNDISCLOSED HELL DOG WILL DEVOUR YOU >AND DO NOT, ABSOLUTLEY NOT, LOOK THE HIPPOGRIFF DEAD IN ITS EYES OR IT WILL SLICE YOUR GUTS OPEN jesus dumbledore really abused his clout to have zero saftey regulations Anonymous 01/01/25(Wed)08:13:22 No.207505146 >>207520205 File: file.jpg (449 KB, 1920x800) >>207508959 >>207511253 >>207514545 >A student has entered the forbidden forest? RELEASE THE R--- CENTAURS
File: 1723257964548.jpg (16 KB, 524x522) Anonymous 01/01/25(Wed)07:54:55 No.207504653 >>207504774 >>207504791 >>207504872 >>207505010 >>207505335 >>207506734 >>207507148 >>207512414 >>207516675 >ACCESS TO THE FORBIDDEN FOREST IS STRICTLY FORBIDDEN! Anonymous 01/01/25(Wed)07:59:22 No.207504774 ►>>207504891 >>207504653 (OP) >UNLESS YOU ARE INSTRUCTED TO WANDER ALONE AT NIGHT IN THE VERY FIRST MOVIE! Anonymous 01/01/25(Wed)08:04:24 No.207504891 >>207504774 >STAY IN YOUR DORMITORIES AT NIGHT OR ELSE A F------ TROLL WILL CLUB YOU >DO NOT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WONDER ON A RANDOM STAIRCASE TO A RANDOM DOOR OR AN UNDISCLOSED HELL DOG WILL DEVOUR YOU >AND DO NOT, ABSOLUTLEY NOT, LOOK THE HIPPOGRIFF DEAD IN ITS EYES OR IT WILL SLICE YOUR GUTS OPEN jesus dumbledore really abused his clout to have zero saftey regulations Anonymous 01/01/25(Wed)08:13:22 No.207505146 >>207520205 File: file.jpg (449 KB, 1920x800) >>207508959 >>207511253 >>207514545 >A student has entered the forbidden forest? RELEASE THE R--- CENTAURS

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If evil, why wife shaped? | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 01/01/25(Wed)00:39:37 No.698886685 321 KB PNG STOP FALLING FOR EVIL WOMEN
Anonymous 01/01/25(Wed)00:39:37 No.698886685 321 KB PNG STOP FALLING FOR EVIL WOMEN

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gun Anon gets bullied at work | /r/Greentext

File: Sigh.jpg (21 KB, 323x400) Anonymous 01/02/25(Thu)22:45:31 No.63120910 >>63120914 >>63120975 >>63120982 >>63121006 >>63121017 >>63121022 >Other gun guys talking at work >I'm at desk trying to unfuck MS Teams and listening to them shoot the breeze >New guy who's a supervisor joins convo and reveals his power level >F--- yeah, apes together strong >New super is thrilled there's other gun people here >Conversation turns to AR builds >Give up on Teams and join convo >Asked about my builds >Mention I only did one 6 years ago and haven't had time or money since then >New guy asks me what my twist rate is >I don't know what a twist rate is >New guy gets REALLY skeptical, starts saying he finds it hard to believe I've ever built an AR if I don't know basic stuff like twist rate >Implies my AR will explode in my face one of these days because I'm probably incompetent >Suddenly not included in gun talks anymore >Other gun guys actively avoid me since I'm apparently a "poser." >Next time we all go to lunch, new supervisor explicitly asks me to leave my CC in the car because he doesn't know if I'm "trained." >I've been CCing for 13 years, flat-out tell him and show my LTC >"That's cool, dude. I'm just asking you to please do me a favor and leave yours behind. After all me and all the other guys are already carrying. I just don't want an incident when we're just trying to have lunch." >MFW I'm now seen as an incompetent liability that shouldn't carry because I didn't know what twist rate is
File: Sigh.jpg (21 KB, 323x400) Anonymous 01/02/25(Thu)22:45:31 No.63120910 >>63120914 >>63120975 >>63120982 >>63121006 >>63121017 >>63121022 >Other gun guys talking at work >I'm at desk trying to unfuck MS Teams and listening to them shoot the breeze >New guy who's a supervisor joins convo and reveals his power level >F--- yeah, apes together strong >New super is thrilled there's other gun people here >Conversation turns to AR builds >Give up on Teams and join convo >Asked about my builds >Mention I only did one 6 years ago and haven't had time or money since then >New guy asks me what my twist rate is >I don't know what a twist rate is >New guy gets REALLY skeptical, starts saying he finds it hard to believe I've ever built an AR if I don't know basic stuff like twist rate >Implies my AR will explode in my face one of these days because I'm probably incompetent >Suddenly not included in gun talks anymore >Other gun guys actively avoid me since I'm apparently a "poser." >Next time we all go to lunch, new supervisor explicitly asks me to leave my CC in the car because he doesn't know if I'm "trained." >I've been CCing for 13 years, flat-out tell him and show my LTC >"That's cool, dude. I'm just asking you to please do me a favor and leave yours behind. After all me and all the other guys are already carrying. I just don't want an incident when we're just trying to have lunch." >MFW I'm now seen as an incompetent liability that shouldn't carry because I didn't know what twist rate is

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