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Sir Alec Tried to Warn Us | /r/Greentext

File: alec guinness.jpg (258 KB, 611x815) Anonymous 08/08/23(Tue)09:30:41 No.188514099 ► >>188514167 >>188514198 >>188514241 >A sweet-faced boy of twelve told me proudly that he had seen Star Wars over a hundred times. His elegant mother nodded with approval. Looking into the boy's eyes I thought I detected little star-shells of madness beginning to form and I guessed that one day they would explode. >"I would love you to do something for me," I said. >"Anything! Anything!" the boy said rapturously. >"You won't like what I'm going to ask you to do," I said. >"Anything, sir, anything!" >"Well," I said, "do you think you could promise never to see Star Wars again?" >He burst into tears. His mother drew himself up to an immense height. "What a dreadful thing to say to a child!" she barked, and dragged the poor kid away. Maybe she was right but I just hope the lad, now in his thirties, is not living in a fantasy world of secondhand, childish banalities." Anonymous 08/08/23(Tue)09:32:12 No.188514117 >And he was a good friend. Anonymous 08/08/23(Tue)09:33:40 No.188514142 He was ahead of his time Anonymous 08/08/23(Tue)09:34:03 No.188514147 I'm sorry Alec, we should have listened to you
File: alec guinness.jpg (258 KB, 611x815) Anonymous 08/08/23(Tue)09:30:41 No.188514099 ► >>188514167 >>188514198 >>188514241 >A sweet-faced boy of twelve told me proudly that he had seen Star Wars over a hundred times. His elegant mother nodded with approval. Looking into the boy's eyes I thought I detected little star-shells of madness beginning to form and I guessed that one day they would explode. >"I would love you to do something for me," I said. >"Anything! Anything!" the boy said rapturously. >"You won't like what I'm going to ask you to do," I said. >"Anything, sir, anything!" >"Well," I said, "do you think you could promise never to see Star Wars again?" >He burst into tears. His mother drew himself up to an immense height. "What a dreadful thing to say to a child!" she barked, and dragged the poor kid away. Maybe she was right but I just hope the lad, now in his thirties, is not living in a fantasy world of secondhand, childish banalities." Anonymous 08/08/23(Tue)09:32:12 No.188514117 >And he was a good friend. Anonymous 08/08/23(Tue)09:33:40 No.188514142 He was ahead of his time Anonymous 08/08/23(Tue)09:34:03 No.188514147 I'm sorry Alec, we should have listened to you

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Anon tries bang his teacher | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 62 KB JPG 04/19/21 (Mon)15:16:03 No.63284052 >be me >in college >taking a pre-req liberal arts course >instructor is a very attractive female >have an upcoming assignment due >too busy with my other classes to bother with it >email her asking her for an extension >she says that she doesn't typically offer exceptions for her students but she'll do so this time because i'm cute how would a rational person proceed from here? : Anonymous 04/19/21 (Mon)15:19:37 No.63284083 A rational person would be grateful for the extension, get his s--- together and then pass that class. An insane robot would try to have sex with her and get kicked out of his university and possibly be arrested. Which one are you, Anon? >>63284198 # >>63284236 #
: Anonymous 62 KB JPG 04/19/21 (Mon)15:16:03 No.63284052 >be me >in college >taking a pre-req liberal arts course >instructor is a very attractive female >have an upcoming assignment due >too busy with my other classes to bother with it >email her asking her for an extension >she says that she doesn't typically offer exceptions for her students but she'll do so this time because i'm cute how would a rational person proceed from here? : Anonymous 04/19/21 (Mon)15:19:37 No.63284083 A rational person would be grateful for the extension, get his s--- together and then pass that class. An insane robot would try to have sex with her and get kicked out of his university and possibly be arrested. Which one are you, Anon? >>63284198 # >>63284236 #

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anonette questions her roommates | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/20/23(Sun)09:04:10 No.904661132 3 KB JPG >be me, 19f >wake up >cheems died >NOO0000.png >get up and go to bathroom >pink hair dye splotches on shower curtain >someones dried period blood on the toilet seat, can't even s--- or piss now >not mine, I always clean up my bathroom messes, plus there is only one girl with pink hair >disgusting.png >no one admits to it >mfw why are women like this? I try and be as hygienic as possible but these fembots are truly disgusting
: Anonymous 08/20/23(Sun)09:04:10 No.904661132 3 KB JPG >be me, 19f >wake up >cheems died >NOO0000.png >get up and go to bathroom >pink hair dye splotches on shower curtain >someones dried period blood on the toilet seat, can't even s--- or piss now >not mine, I always clean up my bathroom messes, plus there is only one girl with pink hair >disgusting.png >no one admits to it >mfw why are women like this? I try and be as hygienic as possible but these fembots are truly disgusting

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Why is this allowed | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: ISĖLYTYS) Ikea IKEA Home furnishings 146 KB JPG 09/12/21(Sun)06:09:15 No.40716132 >Be Ikea >Charge $800 for s----- particle wood furniture that comes in 91 pieces >Buyer spends 2 hours putting it together themselves >Furniture will last 3 years tops if it doesn't collapse under its own weight. >Somehow convince the public that this is a better deal than buying a finished product made of real wood that will last them 2 lifetimes for the same price. >Be the reason this god awful furniture sales model seeps into mainstream American companies so everyone f------ does it now. F--- Ikea. How did they do it??
: Anonymous (ID: ISĖLYTYS) Ikea IKEA Home furnishings 146 KB JPG 09/12/21(Sun)06:09:15 No.40716132 >Be Ikea >Charge $800 for s----- particle wood furniture that comes in 91 pieces >Buyer spends 2 hours putting it together themselves >Furniture will last 3 years tops if it doesn't collapse under its own weight. >Somehow convince the public that this is a better deal than buying a finished product made of real wood that will last them 2 lifetimes for the same price. >Be the reason this god awful furniture sales model seeps into mainstream American companies so everyone f------ does it now. F--- Ikea. How did they do it??

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Anon loves his grandpa | /r/Greentext

My grandpa did something very weird and I don't know what to do. Anonymous 08/19/23(Sat) 12:44:29 No.74441901 >>74441969 >>74442071 >>74442209 >>74442637 >>74442746 >>74442844 This happened about a week ago and I still don't know what to do > be me, 16M > we're at family meeting, grandpa comes over > during dinner, he casually mentions how he has an instagram account called "MrGrandpa123" where he posts about his fishing hobby > i tell him my username and that ill follow him later ffw later that night > i follow my grandpa on instagram > not even 5 minutes later, he follows me back > i send him a message and casually start talking to him > he responds, we talk about his fishing and how i find it really cool > suddenly, he says that its been a long time since he talked to someone my age, and that he wants to show me something "special" he did (my age and gender is in my bio) > he asks if im okay with it > a bit weird. but i tell him to go ahead > waitwhat.png > i think he might have forgotten when i told him my username earlier that day > before i can even reply, he sends me a video of him jerking off and e----------, saying things in the video like "oh god, you made me c--" > whattheactualfuck.mp4 > i finally remind him who i am > he doesn't say anything and just deletes the video > i try messaging him and asking him what the f--- he was thinking, but he doesnt respond > 10 minutes later, his account is deleted > havent heard from him since What the f--- do I do? Do I tell my family? Maybe he just mistook me for someone else he knew, since my Instagram name is just my first name and it's a very common name? I don't know what the f--- to do. He's also supposed to come over again next month. Pic related Anonymous 08/19/23(Sat)12:46:09 No.74441917 ► Ok, this is epic and I was here! Put me in the reddit post.
My grandpa did something very weird and I don't know what to do. Anonymous 08/19/23(Sat) 12:44:29 No.74441901 >>74441969 >>74442071 >>74442209 >>74442637 >>74442746 >>74442844 This happened about a week ago and I still don't know what to do > be me, 16M > we're at family meeting, grandpa comes over > during dinner, he casually mentions how he has an instagram account called "MrGrandpa123" where he posts about his fishing hobby > i tell him my username and that ill follow him later ffw later that night > i follow my grandpa on instagram > not even 5 minutes later, he follows me back > i send him a message and casually start talking to him > he responds, we talk about his fishing and how i find it really cool > suddenly, he says that its been a long time since he talked to someone my age, and that he wants to show me something "special" he did (my age and gender is in my bio) > he asks if im okay with it > a bit weird. but i tell him to go ahead > waitwhat.png > i think he might have forgotten when i told him my username earlier that day > before i can even reply, he sends me a video of him jerking off and e----------, saying things in the video like "oh god, you made me c--" > whattheactualfuck.mp4 > i finally remind him who i am > he doesn't say anything and just deletes the video > i try messaging him and asking him what the f--- he was thinking, but he doesnt respond > 10 minutes later, his account is deleted > havent heard from him since What the f--- do I do? Do I tell my family? Maybe he just mistook me for someone else he knew, since my Instagram name is just my first name and it's a very common name? I don't know what the f--- to do. He's also supposed to come over again next month. Pic related Anonymous 08/19/23(Sat)12:46:09 No.74441917 ► Ok, this is epic and I was here! Put me in the reddit post.

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Anon takes long time to finish | /r/Greentext

80 No. 904649964 08/20/23(Sun)02:40:31 1671346666663.jpg 405 KB 1240x1080 >j------- a lot >take long time to finish with gf >sex frequency decreases with time, so j------- even more >take even longer to finish with gf >find out she doesn't want sex because I take too long mfw I've been cucking myself 0 replies, 0 images
80 No. 904649964 08/20/23(Sun)02:40:31 1671346666663.jpg 405 KB 1240x1080 >j------- a lot >take long time to finish with gf >sex frequency decreases with time, so j------- even more >take even longer to finish with gf >find out she doesn't want sex because I take too long mfw I've been cucking myself 0 replies, 0 images

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Anon is a stock broker | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/20/23(Sun)03:49:45 No.904653979 1 Reply I 1672376891164739.png 71 KB PNG i'm banned from /biz/ for saying they should buy cocaine Anonymous >>904653979 (OP) # Sometimes people can't handle the truth View Thread 08/20/23(Sun)04:05:35 No.904654433
: Anonymous 08/20/23(Sun)03:49:45 No.904653979 1 Reply I 1672376891164739.png 71 KB PNG i'm banned from /biz/ for saying they should buy cocaine Anonymous >>904653979 (OP) # Sometimes people can't handle the truth View Thread 08/20/23(Sun)04:05:35 No.904654433

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Anon’s son becomes a degenerate | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous I raised my son away from soci(...) 191 KB JPG 08/20/23(Sun)13:41:29 No.904656964 >be me >farmer boy, found a trad wife >i have a massive disdain for degenerate society >buy some land hours away from society >build a farm, we end up self sustainable >my wife ends up pregnant, it's a baby boy >I decide to let him think we are the last people on earth >he is really joyful, loves the animals and grows up to be a good christian boy >it's his 18th birthday, he seems kind of down >son explains to me how repetitive this life is and how he wishes for his own wife >think I f----- up, maybe I shouldn't have lied >drive for 4 hours to the city and buy a laptop, although no internet >he takes it no questions asked, I also give him my old USB stick with old games on it >son learns to use it and spends a lot of time in his room >wife complains some of her clothes have been missing >barge in my son's room >he is wearing his mother's clothes while touching himself to t----- p--- on the laptop >I gave him the wrong USB >he looks at me and bites his lips >I run out crying I f----- up anons, I used to be quite the degenerate myself, but my son became exactly what I didn't want him to become.
: Anonymous I raised my son away from soci(...) 191 KB JPG 08/20/23(Sun)13:41:29 No.904656964 >be me >farmer boy, found a trad wife >i have a massive disdain for degenerate society >buy some land hours away from society >build a farm, we end up self sustainable >my wife ends up pregnant, it's a baby boy >I decide to let him think we are the last people on earth >he is really joyful, loves the animals and grows up to be a good christian boy >it's his 18th birthday, he seems kind of down >son explains to me how repetitive this life is and how he wishes for his own wife >think I f----- up, maybe I shouldn't have lied >drive for 4 hours to the city and buy a laptop, although no internet >he takes it no questions asked, I also give him my old USB stick with old games on it >son learns to use it and spends a lot of time in his room >wife complains some of her clothes have been missing >barge in my son's room >he is wearing his mother's clothes while touching himself to t----- p--- on the laptop >I gave him the wrong USB >he looks at me and bites his lips >I run out crying I f----- up anons, I used to be quite the degenerate myself, but my son became exactly what I didn't want him to become.

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He said calmly | /r/Greentext

□ Anonymous (ID: wg+qNtr7) File: 1687767232602130.png (923 KB, 1890x986) File: 1635888878191.png (393 KB, 759x422) 08/20/23(Sun)04:13:41 No.438482116 ► >>438494039 Rectangular Snip Anonymous 02/13/22(Sun)14:24:06 No.163861246 ► >>163861349 >>163861429 >>163861458 >>163861546 >>163861577 >>163861870 >>163862270 >>163865138 >>163865591 >"HARRY DID YOU REDEEM NAME IN FIRE GOBLET SON OF BICH BASTARD ARE YOU F--- PROSTITUTION SLYTHERIN BICH H--- DO NOT REDEEM! DO NOT F------ IN REDEEM HARREY!" Dungalore said calmly.
□ Anonymous (ID: wg+qNtr7) File: 1687767232602130.png (923 KB, 1890x986) File: 1635888878191.png (393 KB, 759x422) 08/20/23(Sun)04:13:41 No.438482116 ► >>438494039 Rectangular Snip Anonymous 02/13/22(Sun)14:24:06 No.163861246 ► >>163861349 >>163861429 >>163861458 >>163861546 >>163861577 >>163861870 >>163862270 >>163865138 >>163865591 >"HARRY DID YOU REDEEM NAME IN FIRE GOBLET SON OF BICH BASTARD ARE YOU F--- PROSTITUTION SLYTHERIN BICH H--- DO NOT REDEEM! DO NOT F------ IN REDEEM HARREY!" Dungalore said calmly.

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anon feels unwell | /r/Greentext

>be me in college >drinking because friends birthday >friend brings in a pack of 6/10s to lighten up the mood >after drinking around like 8 shots of vodka one girl is starting to look like breeding material >as i start to approach the girl i start sweating profusely >i shrugged it off as the heat because our dorm room's AC was down for the day >just when i was about to flirt with her the vodka comes out the same way it came down >all of the girls and my friend look in shock as I throw up the New Amsterdam and the burrito that I had a few hours on her > all of the 6/10s scattered out of the dorm room > girl looked like she wanted to kill me and her self >timetogtfo.jpg
>be me in college >drinking because friends birthday >friend brings in a pack of 6/10s to lighten up the mood >after drinking around like 8 shots of vodka one girl is starting to look like breeding material >as i start to approach the girl i start sweating profusely >i shrugged it off as the heat because our dorm room's AC was down for the day >just when i was about to flirt with her the vodka comes out the same way it came down >all of the girls and my friend look in shock as I throw up the New Amsterdam and the burrito that I had a few hours on her > all of the 6/10s scattered out of the dorm room > girl looked like she wanted to kill me and her self >timetogtfo.jpg

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Anon's soulmate | /r/Greentext

No. 904650587 08/20/23(Sun)02:59:26 1659677289377481.jpg 62 KB 900x900 >be me >in Ukraine teaching English this summer >have a Ukie last name Khomyak >masculine term for 'hamster' >leaving Kyiv via bus to Germany >bus breaks down in Czechia >stranded with a Ukrainian girl who spoke English >she buys me a train ticket for last stretch of trip >feeds me when she learns I have no money >she tells me her name is the feminine word for hamster Khomenko i think my soulmate found me 4 replies, 2 images
No. 904650587 08/20/23(Sun)02:59:26 1659677289377481.jpg 62 KB 900x900 >be me >in Ukraine teaching English this summer >have a Ukie last name Khomyak >masculine term for 'hamster' >leaving Kyiv via bus to Germany >bus breaks down in Czechia >stranded with a Ukrainian girl who spoke English >she buys me a train ticket for last stretch of trip >feeds me when she learns I have no money >she tells me her name is the feminine word for hamster Khomenko i think my soulmate found me 4 replies, 2 images

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Rising Sun Enjoyer hates paying salaries | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: 7mZap7Q9 108/20/23(Sun)08:07:55 No.438502769 File: 1604638085936 (1).jpg (43 KB, 751x282) File: Audrey Hepburn_screentest(...).jpg (35 KB, 399x528) Anonymous (ID: AhirCQ6b) 04/21/16(Thu)04:02:19 No.71589610 Should old films be remastered to include more people of colour? Anonymous (ID: (k/w2wp/N) 04/21/16(Thu)04:04:56 No.71589837 >>71593436 >>71593511 >>71593647 >>71593738 >>71594011 >>71594265 >>71594816 >>71599974 >>71600054 >>71600121 >>71600140 >>71600367 >>71600385 >>71600426 File: image.png (72 KB, 435x338) >>71589610 (OP) No, people of color should be remastered
Anonymous (ID: 7mZap7Q9 108/20/23(Sun)08:07:55 No.438502769 File: 1604638085936 (1).jpg (43 KB, 751x282) File: Audrey Hepburn_screentest(...).jpg (35 KB, 399x528) Anonymous (ID: AhirCQ6b) 04/21/16(Thu)04:02:19 No.71589610 Should old films be remastered to include more people of colour? Anonymous (ID: (k/w2wp/N) 04/21/16(Thu)04:04:56 No.71589837 >>71593436 >>71593511 >>71593647 >>71593738 >>71594011 >>71594265 >>71594816 >>71599974 >>71600054 >>71600121 >>71600140 >>71600367 >>71600385 >>71600426 File: image.png (72 KB, 435x338) >>71589610 (OP) No, people of color should be remastered

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Anon likes to piss off the Marines | /r/Greentext

Anonymous C 75 KB JPG 01/07/16(Thu)02:30:24 No.28460265 >mfw I purposely refer to Marines by the generic term "army" just to piss them off because they think they have special snowflake status
Anonymous C 75 KB JPG 01/07/16(Thu)02:30:24 No.28460265 >mfw I purposely refer to Marines by the generic term "army" just to piss them off because they think they have special snowflake status

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Anon tries to get their flip-flops | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 9 KB JPG 08/19/23(Sat)13:15:07 No.74439573 >be me >go to retrieve a pair of flip flops i left at a friend's place >hang out with friend and go to catch a tram home >go drinking instead >we get a beer each and hide away in a dingy alleyway >1 beer turns into 2 >tram is not coming >dont really wanna go home either >2 beers turn into a quick trip behind a corner to piss >realise i left my backpack Anonymous >go back >backpack is gone >i am upset >try to go home >next bus is at 4 am >sleep over at friend's place instead >wake up early and go to check the alley again >on the way, me and friend spot Columbo >the closest a human being can look to Columbo, his beige coat glowing brilliantly in the morning sun >arrive at alley and search >find a book i bought yesterday and my earbuds next to a wall 555 KB JPG >no bag, just the book and earbuds >confused, but happy to have them back >mfw i never brought back my flipflops 08/19/23(Sat)13:18:42 No.74439591 the contents of the backpack included an umbrella, my wallet with my id, a box of herring marinated in tomatoes and oil and of course, the flip flops. this is the book i bought btw
Anonymous 9 KB JPG 08/19/23(Sat)13:15:07 No.74439573 >be me >go to retrieve a pair of flip flops i left at a friend's place >hang out with friend and go to catch a tram home >go drinking instead >we get a beer each and hide away in a dingy alleyway >1 beer turns into 2 >tram is not coming >dont really wanna go home either >2 beers turn into a quick trip behind a corner to piss >realise i left my backpack Anonymous >go back >backpack is gone >i am upset >try to go home >next bus is at 4 am >sleep over at friend's place instead >wake up early and go to check the alley again >on the way, me and friend spot Columbo >the closest a human being can look to Columbo, his beige coat glowing brilliantly in the morning sun >arrive at alley and search >find a book i bought yesterday and my earbuds next to a wall 555 KB JPG >no bag, just the book and earbuds >confused, but happy to have them back >mfw i never brought back my flipflops 08/19/23(Sat)13:18:42 No.74439591 the contents of the backpack included an umbrella, my wallet with my id, a box of herring marinated in tomatoes and oil and of course, the flip flops. this is the book i bought btw

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Anon loses his hyper fixation | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/13/23(Sun)19:00:56 No.74368136 IT'S JOEVER fetchimage (1).jpg 72 KB JPG > be me > bored > nothing feels appealing to do > nothing to watch on youtube > memes aren't funny > endless scrolling makes me sick > just lie in bed feeling s--- for the entire day Am I depressed or something? Genuine question. Because I don't feel sad, just numb.
: Anonymous 08/13/23(Sun)19:00:56 No.74368136 IT'S JOEVER fetchimage (1).jpg 72 KB JPG > be me > bored > nothing feels appealing to do > nothing to watch on youtube > memes aren't funny > endless scrolling makes me sick > just lie in bed feeling s--- for the entire day Am I depressed or something? Genuine question. Because I don't feel sad, just numb.

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anon wastes countless hours hoarding worthless shit | /r/Greentext

AL AVAVAVA U Anonymous 08/19/23(Sat)15:37:38 No.647818537 >playing an RPG >heading to destination >see shiny herb off path >It's worth like .01 gold and makes a s--- potion I never use >already have thousands in my inventory >go and collect it anyway >every >single >time >I must have the shiny Can't tell if this is my autism or if I have Jewish ancestry
AL AVAVAVA U Anonymous 08/19/23(Sat)15:37:38 No.647818537 >playing an RPG >heading to destination >see shiny herb off path >It's worth like .01 gold and makes a s--- potion I never use >already have thousands in my inventory >go and collect it anyway >every >single >time >I must have the shiny Can't tell if this is my autism or if I have Jewish ancestry

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