Greentext Stories - Images
Anon starts a restaurant | /r/Greentext
![: Anonymous 03/25/19(Mon)18:38:51 No.795899428 >be me >be 32 >Start a restaurant, cuz can cook >Pretty successful >Hire a 68 year old woman that's an ex hippy 25 KB JPG >Went to Woodstock and the whole bit >Despite be nearly 70, is actually trim as f--- >Start smoking pot with her on a regular basis >3 years go by >At her house getting high one night >She starts talking about how lonely shes been lately and asks if l'd spoon her >F--- it, why not >As soon as I do she starts grinding ass against my c--- >Umm, what's up? >Doesn't say a word, just reaches back, slides my pants down, latches onto my d--- and shoves it in her I just f----- the s--- out of a 71 year old and my balls have never been more drained. Ask me anything. 1 Reply View Thread : Anonymous 03/25/19(Mon)18:40:04 No.795899524 What sort of restaurant?](https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/masonry/002/323/828/c2d.jpg)
![: Anonymous 03/25/19(Mon)18:38:51 No.795899428 >be me >be 32 >Start a restaurant, cuz can cook >Pretty successful >Hire a 68 year old woman that's an ex hippy 25 KB JPG >Went to Woodstock and the whole bit >Despite be nearly 70, is actually trim as f--- >Start smoking pot with her on a regular basis >3 years go by >At her house getting high one night >She starts talking about how lonely shes been lately and asks if l'd spoon her >F--- it, why not >As soon as I do she starts grinding ass against my c--- >Umm, what's up? >Doesn't say a word, just reaches back, slides my pants down, latches onto my d--- and shoves it in her I just f----- the s--- out of a 71 year old and my balls have never been more drained. Ask me anything. 1 Reply View Thread : Anonymous 03/25/19(Mon)18:40:04 No.795899524 What sort of restaurant?](https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/002/323/828/c2d.jpg)
Greentext Stories
Anon finds the love of his life | /r/Greentext
![LTE 12:41 : Anonymous EE 04/15/19(Mon)02:52:23 No.104244566 My mom found my trap folder and asked if that was my thing. Sperged out and told her it's not what she thinks. Anyhow later she introduced me to a young cousin who is a trap and well now we are dating since 3 years ago. He was 15, I was 22 >>104244609 # >>104244614 # >>104244621 # >>104244643 # >>104244651 # >>104244665 # >>104244674 # >>104244691 # >>104244747 # >>104244773 # >>104244775 # >>104244880 # >>104244947 # >>104244952 # >>104244970 # >>104244985 # >>104245037 # >>104245050 # >>104245072 # >>104245100 # >>104245127 # >>104245140 # >>104245414 # >>104245486 # >>104245546 # >>104245588 # >>104245615 # >>104245664 # >>104245669 # >>104245746 # >>104246505 # >>104246513 # >>104246930 # >>104247295 # >>104247430 # >>104248475 # >>104248647 # >>104248880 # >>104248958 # >>104249345 # >>104250572 # >>104250661 # >>104251294 # >>104251538 # >>104251638 # >>104251745 # >>104252032 # >>104252052 # >>104252158 # >>104252231 # >>104252254 # >>104252305 # >>104252328 # >>104252637 # >>104252718 # >>104252935 # >>104254186 # >>104254412 # >>104254427 # >>104254462 # >>104254635 # >>104254709 # >>104254957 # >>104255327 # >>104255355 # >>104255419 # >>104255612 # >>104255613 # >>104255719 # >>104256062 # >>104256105 # >>104256125 # >>104256201 # >>104256318 # >>104256588 # >>104257052 # >>104257065 # >>104257223 # >>104258748 # >>104260194 # >>104260543 # >>104260866 # >>104261001 # : Anonymous 4 04/15/19(Mon)02:54:56 No.104244609 >>104244566 #](https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/masonry/002/323/780/b1f.png)
![LTE 12:41 : Anonymous EE 04/15/19(Mon)02:52:23 No.104244566 My mom found my trap folder and asked if that was my thing. Sperged out and told her it's not what she thinks. Anyhow later she introduced me to a young cousin who is a trap and well now we are dating since 3 years ago. He was 15, I was 22 >>104244609 # >>104244614 # >>104244621 # >>104244643 # >>104244651 # >>104244665 # >>104244674 # >>104244691 # >>104244747 # >>104244773 # >>104244775 # >>104244880 # >>104244947 # >>104244952 # >>104244970 # >>104244985 # >>104245037 # >>104245050 # >>104245072 # >>104245100 # >>104245127 # >>104245140 # >>104245414 # >>104245486 # >>104245546 # >>104245588 # >>104245615 # >>104245664 # >>104245669 # >>104245746 # >>104246505 # >>104246513 # >>104246930 # >>104247295 # >>104247430 # >>104248475 # >>104248647 # >>104248880 # >>104248958 # >>104249345 # >>104250572 # >>104250661 # >>104251294 # >>104251538 # >>104251638 # >>104251745 # >>104252032 # >>104252052 # >>104252158 # >>104252231 # >>104252254 # >>104252305 # >>104252328 # >>104252637 # >>104252718 # >>104252935 # >>104254186 # >>104254412 # >>104254427 # >>104254462 # >>104254635 # >>104254709 # >>104254957 # >>104255327 # >>104255355 # >>104255419 # >>104255612 # >>104255613 # >>104255719 # >>104256062 # >>104256105 # >>104256125 # >>104256201 # >>104256318 # >>104256588 # >>104257052 # >>104257065 # >>104257223 # >>104258748 # >>104260194 # >>104260543 # >>104260866 # >>104261001 # : Anonymous 4 04/15/19(Mon)02:54:56 No.104244609 >>104244566 #](https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/002/323/780/b1f.png)
Greentext Stories
Anon is the ultimate loli connoisseur. | /r/Greentext
![: Anonymous 12/01/20(Tue)16:02:20 No.61174419 stein.jpg 17 KB JPG >be epstein. >chilling in cel| >clintons come in, forcefully cover you in oil >they leave >that was weird but okay, at least they didn't kill me. >the sprinkler turns on >shoot upwards and break neck on ceiling](https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/masonry/002/323/779/74f.jpg)
![: Anonymous 12/01/20(Tue)16:02:20 No.61174419 stein.jpg 17 KB JPG >be epstein. >chilling in cel| >clintons come in, forcefully cover you in oil >they leave >that was weird but okay, at least they didn't kill me. >the sprinkler turns on >shoot upwards and break neck on ceiling](https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/002/323/779/74f.jpg)
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Anon makes a joke | /r/Greentext
![: Anonymous 03/06/22(Sun)18:51:12 No.873933899 >be me >retarded >have a friend who lost function of his legs temporarily >doctors say it was a miracle that he even gained feeling back >having a get together with his 112 KB JPG friends and family >starts talking about physical therapy > says something like “Yeah, lost control of the car but I'm getting feeling back and I'm starting to drive again. Pretty soon l'll be able to drive all the time" >autism activates "Baby steps man" >his family is horrified >hear someone gasp in shock >think I heard someone snicker My life is f------ ruined](https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/masonry/002/323/750/12c.jpg)
![: Anonymous 03/06/22(Sun)18:51:12 No.873933899 >be me >retarded >have a friend who lost function of his legs temporarily >doctors say it was a miracle that he even gained feeling back >having a get together with his 112 KB JPG friends and family >starts talking about physical therapy > says something like “Yeah, lost control of the car but I'm getting feeling back and I'm starting to drive again. Pretty soon l'll be able to drive all the time" >autism activates "Baby steps man" >his family is horrified >hear someone gasp in shock >think I heard someone snicker My life is f------ ruined](https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/002/323/750/12c.jpg)
Greentext Stories
Anon gets cucked. | /r/Greentext
![Anonymous I've been cucked 03/07/22(Mon)03:38:32 No.67685849 >be femanon >have 6/10 bf >he's really nice and thougtful so it's solid 7/10 >sex.exe regularly >sometime he wants me to put this on, pic related >don't think much about it, maybe just 125 KB JPG what he likes >until one day he murmured "Rose" while sleeping after sex.exe >w-- is he cheating me? >ask him directly who is Rose? he admits it's a 2D character I wear her costume all the time tfw I've been cucked by a 12 years old who doesn't exist. maybe he thinks about her all the times we have sex not me. Anonymous 03/07/22(Mon)03:41:46 No.67685872 >>67685849 (OP) Her name is ROSA you uneducated swine 368 KB PNG](https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/masonry/002/323/749/6ae.png)
![Anonymous I've been cucked 03/07/22(Mon)03:38:32 No.67685849 >be femanon >have 6/10 bf >he's really nice and thougtful so it's solid 7/10 >sex.exe regularly >sometime he wants me to put this on, pic related >don't think much about it, maybe just 125 KB JPG what he likes >until one day he murmured "Rose" while sleeping after sex.exe >w-- is he cheating me? >ask him directly who is Rose? he admits it's a 2D character I wear her costume all the time tfw I've been cucked by a 12 years old who doesn't exist. maybe he thinks about her all the times we have sex not me. Anonymous 03/07/22(Mon)03:41:46 No.67685872 >>67685849 (OP) Her name is ROSA you uneducated swine 368 KB PNG](https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/002/323/749/6ae.png)
Greentext Stories
/r9k/ gives excellent advice | /r/Greentext
![: Anonymous 03/07/22(Mon)12:18:27 No.67683488 >be 11 >store all my legos in the closet in a room that no one uses >one day sister's friend come over >she finds the legos i've built and collected 65 KB PNG >destroys all of them >find out about it after she leaves >fall into a great depression >quit legos because of it that bitch.. : Anonymous 03/07/22(Mon)12:22:19 No.67683531 >>67683488 (OP) # You should find her and stalk her 58 KB JPG : Anonymous 03/07/22(Mon)14:05:38 No.67684606 >>67683488 (OP) # Build a Lego hammer and beat her to death](https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/masonry/002/323/729/0c7.jpg)
![: Anonymous 03/07/22(Mon)12:18:27 No.67683488 >be 11 >store all my legos in the closet in a room that no one uses >one day sister's friend come over >she finds the legos i've built and collected 65 KB PNG >destroys all of them >find out about it after she leaves >fall into a great depression >quit legos because of it that bitch.. : Anonymous 03/07/22(Mon)12:22:19 No.67683531 >>67683488 (OP) # You should find her and stalk her 58 KB JPG : Anonymous 03/07/22(Mon)14:05:38 No.67684606 >>67683488 (OP) # Build a Lego hammer and beat her to death](https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/002/323/729/0c7.jpg)
Greentext Stories
Anon gets the cops called on him | /r/Greentext
![](https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/masonry/002/323/713/09e.png)
![](https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/002/323/713/09e.png)
Greentext Stories
Saving yourself | /r/Greentext
![: Anonymous 10/14/21(Thu)00:44:08 No.63920067 >Go to the doctor for physical >Have to see female nurse practitioner, because regular doctor is out >Are you sexually active Anon? >Tell her no 62 KB JPG >Smiles I didn't just mean recently anon, some stds can remain dormant you know? >Give her blank stare >She immediately transitions to somberly questioning me on my mental health Sigh...](https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/masonry/002/323/701/3fa.jpg)
![: Anonymous 10/14/21(Thu)00:44:08 No.63920067 >Go to the doctor for physical >Have to see female nurse practitioner, because regular doctor is out >Are you sexually active Anon? >Tell her no 62 KB JPG >Smiles I didn't just mean recently anon, some stds can remain dormant you know? >Give her blank stare >She immediately transitions to somberly questioning me on my mental health Sigh...](https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/002/323/701/3fa.jpg)
Greentext Stories
Anon don't trust science | /r/Greentext
![](https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/masonry/002/323/671/8bc.png)
![](https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/002/323/671/8bc.png)
Greentext Stories
Anon makes a mistake | /r/Greentext
![File: MV5BZjhkNWM1NTQtODI4NSOON(...).jpg (125 KB, 1000x1355) Y U Anonymous 03/06/22(Sun)20:47:36 >be me KEVIN COSTNER YELLOWSTONE >grew up in AZ but moved to Cali >live in the city in California for 12 years >life always feels chaotic >always so many people >so much crime >so much traffic >just too much >diagnosed with general anxiety disorder >never want to be outside >start having panic attacks >stressed at work >can't enjoy my days off >can't sleep >pandemic hits >start watching yellowstone >the shows a bit chaotic but wyoming looks so quiet and peaceful >look into living there >end up in talks with a realtor >buy a home in Lander >take everything I have and move >it's everything I thought it would be >quiet, peaceful, open >my home was only 235k with 2 acres >no n------ >very little crime >everyone is respectful of others >no traffic ever >just peace >anxiety goes away >no panic attacks >little stress >nature all around me I f------ love Wyoming. Anonymous 03/06/22(Sun)21:17:14 No.873946041 >>873946140 >>873944902 (OP). yellowstone is set in montana](https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/masonry/002/323/670/1f8.jpg)
![File: MV5BZjhkNWM1NTQtODI4NSOON(...).jpg (125 KB, 1000x1355) Y U Anonymous 03/06/22(Sun)20:47:36 >be me KEVIN COSTNER YELLOWSTONE >grew up in AZ but moved to Cali >live in the city in California for 12 years >life always feels chaotic >always so many people >so much crime >so much traffic >just too much >diagnosed with general anxiety disorder >never want to be outside >start having panic attacks >stressed at work >can't enjoy my days off >can't sleep >pandemic hits >start watching yellowstone >the shows a bit chaotic but wyoming looks so quiet and peaceful >look into living there >end up in talks with a realtor >buy a home in Lander >take everything I have and move >it's everything I thought it would be >quiet, peaceful, open >my home was only 235k with 2 acres >no n------ >very little crime >everyone is respectful of others >no traffic ever >just peace >anxiety goes away >no panic attacks >little stress >nature all around me I f------ love Wyoming. Anonymous 03/06/22(Sun)21:17:14 No.873946041 >>873946140 >>873944902 (OP). yellowstone is set in montana](https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/002/323/670/1f8.jpg)
Greentext Stories
Anon finds religion | /r/Greentext
![: Anonymous (ID: GLIX3@1U 03/06/22(Sun)14:48:27 No.365589732 1630612727852.jpg 36 KB JPG >tired of being an incel >remember some stuff I heard here about "going to the church and meeting girls" >well I'm catholic so why not >start going to the church every weekend >majority are old people but there're some girls in their 20s >always trying to sit beside one of them >sometimes start conversations with them and their mothers >"w--, they're not disgusted by me and their mother actually thinks I'm a good guy" >fast-forward some weeks >got hooked up with a 21 yo by her own mother You guys need to go to the church. I literally cannot believe this happened to me.](https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/masonry/002/323/630/c5b.jpg)
![: Anonymous (ID: GLIX3@1U 03/06/22(Sun)14:48:27 No.365589732 1630612727852.jpg 36 KB JPG >tired of being an incel >remember some stuff I heard here about "going to the church and meeting girls" >well I'm catholic so why not >start going to the church every weekend >majority are old people but there're some girls in their 20s >always trying to sit beside one of them >sometimes start conversations with them and their mothers >"w--, they're not disgusted by me and their mother actually thinks I'm a good guy" >fast-forward some weeks >got hooked up with a 21 yo by her own mother You guys need to go to the church. I literally cannot believe this happened to me.](https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/002/323/630/c5b.jpg)
Greentext Stories
Anon is bored as fuck | /r/Greentext
![Most evil thing you've ever done thread No.54644228 09/30/19(Mon)07:16:32 evil.jpg JPG 31.6 KİB 404x512 >Bored as f--- >Call random number >Woman answers >"Hi it's the school calling about your child" >"About Jack? what's wrong?" >"Nothing. We just wanted to let you know the music teacher apparently says you've got a little Elvis on your hands" >"Really?" >"Yeah, we just found him dead on the toilet" >Hang up ...](https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/masonry/002/323/611/668.jpg)
![Most evil thing you've ever done thread No.54644228 09/30/19(Mon)07:16:32 evil.jpg JPG 31.6 KİB 404x512 >Bored as f--- >Call random number >Woman answers >"Hi it's the school calling about your child" >"About Jack? what's wrong?" >"Nothing. We just wanted to let you know the music teacher apparently says you've got a little Elvis on your hands" >"Really?" >"Yeah, we just found him dead on the toilet" >Hang up ...](https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/002/323/611/668.jpg)
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Anon gets called a misogynist by w*men | /r/Greentext
![: Anonymous 02/05/22(Sat)10:47:56 No.872089971 >gf gets frequent UTIS >gf gets prescribed a heavy UTI antibiotic to take prophylactically >antibiotic makes her feel nauseous and gives her headaches and she has to take it after everytime we have sex >antibiotic also may cause issues 9 KB JPG when pregnant/breastfeeding and can cause kidney damage with long term use >ask her to go talk to her gynecologist during her next appointment >gynecologist pretty much shrugs and says its the only real option >concerned what long-term use of antibiotic will do to her so decided to ask a girl forum if they have similar experiences or advice. >get called a misogynist, and a p------------ for thinking I know better when I'm a man and don't know what it's like and I should shut up because I'm a typical a------ man who thinks he knows better than my gf or her doctor >just care about my girlfriend and wanted some other anecdotal stories >ask again the next day but leave out the part I'm a guy asking for my girlfriend >get actual real advice and similar stories but yes...please tell me more of how men are more toxic than women.](https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/masonry/002/323/564/4a8.jpg)
![: Anonymous 02/05/22(Sat)10:47:56 No.872089971 >gf gets frequent UTIS >gf gets prescribed a heavy UTI antibiotic to take prophylactically >antibiotic makes her feel nauseous and gives her headaches and she has to take it after everytime we have sex >antibiotic also may cause issues 9 KB JPG when pregnant/breastfeeding and can cause kidney damage with long term use >ask her to go talk to her gynecologist during her next appointment >gynecologist pretty much shrugs and says its the only real option >concerned what long-term use of antibiotic will do to her so decided to ask a girl forum if they have similar experiences or advice. >get called a misogynist, and a p------------ for thinking I know better when I'm a man and don't know what it's like and I should shut up because I'm a typical a------ man who thinks he knows better than my gf or her doctor >just care about my girlfriend and wanted some other anecdotal stories >ask again the next day but leave out the part I'm a guy asking for my girlfriend >get actual real advice and similar stories but yes...please tell me more of how men are more toxic than women.](https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/002/323/564/4a8.jpg)
Greentext Stories
no hit run | /r/Greentext
![: Anonymous 02/26/22(Sat)20:10:10 No.164465570 3E212BEA-9441-472B-8302-9CE08F871803.jpg 35 KB JPG I'm literally going to die in a nuclear war before I even kiss a girl : Anonymous 02/26/22(Sat)20:18:05 No.164465796 If you think that's bad, you're going to finish this run and your soul will have the virgin achievement unlocked and on full display in the afterlife.](https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/masonry/002/323/546/b1b.jpg)
![: Anonymous 02/26/22(Sat)20:10:10 No.164465570 3E212BEA-9441-472B-8302-9CE08F871803.jpg 35 KB JPG I'm literally going to die in a nuclear war before I even kiss a girl : Anonymous 02/26/22(Sat)20:18:05 No.164465796 If you think that's bad, you're going to finish this run and your soul will have the virgin achievement unlocked and on full display in the afterlife.](https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/002/323/546/b1b.jpg)
Greentext Stories
Anon is based | /r/Greentext
![: Anonymous (ID: OE7ZCYCW) 03/06/22(Sun)07:28:14 No.365472195 if Putin were to nuke 3 states in the continental US, which one would you choose? I'll choose 1. California 2. California 3. California 634 KB PNG](https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/masonry/002/323/506/0cc.jpg)
![: Anonymous (ID: OE7ZCYCW) 03/06/22(Sun)07:28:14 No.365472195 if Putin were to nuke 3 states in the continental US, which one would you choose? I'll choose 1. California 2. California 3. California 634 KB PNG](https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/002/323/506/0cc.jpg)
Greentext Stories
Anon talks about Geography | /r/Greentext
![: Anonymous 09/03/20(Thu)21:09:37 No.129854915 >Georgia? Thats a state not a country its capital is Atlanta bro 480 KB PNG : Anonymous 109/03/20(Thu)21:15:14 No.129855092 >Turkey? Thats a bird not a country its origin is America bro 191 KB PNG : Anonymous 109/03/20(Thu)21:17:11 No.129855149 >Hungary? No, I just ate 50 KB JPG](https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/masonry/002/323/505/407.jpg)
![: Anonymous 09/03/20(Thu)21:09:37 No.129854915 >Georgia? Thats a state not a country its capital is Atlanta bro 480 KB PNG : Anonymous 109/03/20(Thu)21:15:14 No.129855092 >Turkey? Thats a bird not a country its origin is America bro 191 KB PNG : Anonymous 109/03/20(Thu)21:17:11 No.129855149 >Hungary? No, I just ate 50 KB JPG](https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/002/323/505/407.jpg)
Greentext Stories