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Anon starts a restaurant | /r/Greentext

Anonymous >be me >be 32 >Start a restaurant, cuz can cook >Pretty successful >Hire a 68 year old woman that's an ex hippy 25 KB JPG >Went to Woodstock and the whole bit >Despite be nearly 70, is actually trim as f--- >Start smoking pot with her on a regular basis >3 years go by >At her house getting high one night >She starts talking about how lonely shes been lately and asks if I'd spoon her >F--- it, why not >As soon as I do she starts grinding ass against my c--- >Umm, what's up? >Doesn't say a word, just reaches back, slides my pants down, latches onto my d--- and shoves it in her I just f----- the s--- out of a 71 year old and my balls have never been more drained. Ask me anything. 1 Reply View Thread 03/25/19(Mon)18:38:51 No.795899428
Anonymous >be me >be 32 >Start a restaurant, cuz can cook >Pretty successful >Hire a 68 year old woman that's an ex hippy 25 KB JPG >Went to Woodstock and the whole bit >Despite be nearly 70, is actually trim as f--- >Start smoking pot with her on a regular basis >3 years go by >At her house getting high one night >She starts talking about how lonely shes been lately and asks if I'd spoon her >F--- it, why not >As soon as I do she starts grinding ass against my c--- >Umm, what's up? >Doesn't say a word, just reaches back, slides my pants down, latches onto my d--- and shoves it in her I just f----- the s--- out of a 71 year old and my balls have never been more drained. Ask me anything. 1 Reply View Thread 03/25/19(Mon)18:38:51 No.795899428

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Anons tries something new | /r/Greentext

Anonymous NO. 35020778 (12 m) >>35020836 >>35020964 >fap to traps for the first time >c-- twice as much as normal Is this where it all begins? PNG 101.18 KB Anonymous NO. 35020807 (11 m) >>35020875 ANON YOU HAVE TO STOP NOW!!!! THIS RIDE LITERALLY NEVER ENDS!!! STOP!!! STOP BEFORE ITS TOO LATE!!!! PNG 720.22 KB Anonymous NO. 35020836 (9 m) >>35020778 [OP] The taboo calls the loudest. You need to escape while you can. Anonymous NO. 35020875 (7 m) >>35020807 Can confirm. Stop while you can annon. I actually feel proude when I don't jack to traps on the weekends. It's a downhill ride.
Anonymous NO. 35020778 (12 m) >>35020836 >>35020964 >fap to traps for the first time >c-- twice as much as normal Is this where it all begins? PNG 101.18 KB Anonymous NO. 35020807 (11 m) >>35020875 ANON YOU HAVE TO STOP NOW!!!! THIS RIDE LITERALLY NEVER ENDS!!! STOP!!! STOP BEFORE ITS TOO LATE!!!! PNG 720.22 KB Anonymous NO. 35020836 (9 m) >>35020778 [OP] The taboo calls the loudest. You need to escape while you can. Anonymous NO. 35020875 (7 m) >>35020807 Can confirm. Stop while you can annon. I actually feel proude when I don't jack to traps on the weekends. It's a downhill ride.

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Filth and squalor | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/19/22(Sun)10:58:40 No.69102328 >have anxiety for months about messy apartment Damn, bitch, you live like this? >hot female neighbor keeps asking if she can hang out at my place, heightening anxiety 148 KB JPG >I keep saying no, it's a mess, and she's like haha mine too it's ok >finally get invited to her place for once >I step inside and pic related but 30x worse >say "Wow, almost as bad as mine" to make her feel better but h-------- bro why are women so disgusting?
: Anonymous 06/19/22(Sun)10:58:40 No.69102328 >have anxiety for months about messy apartment Damn, bitch, you live like this? >hot female neighbor keeps asking if she can hang out at my place, heightening anxiety 148 KB JPG >I keep saying no, it's a mess, and she's like haha mine too it's ok >finally get invited to her place for once >I step inside and pic related but 30x worse >say "Wow, almost as bad as mine" to make her feel better but h-------- bro why are women so disgusting?

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Anon makes a joke | /r/Greentext

>be me >Tuesday at school >it's 5th period and I'm bored as s--- 19 KB JPG >turn to my friend and say "don't come to school on may 2nd lol >next day I get called into the guidance counselors office >start talking about how they think I'm dangerous and that I'm gonna shoot up the school >mfw May 2nd is a f------ sunday
>be me >Tuesday at school >it's 5th period and I'm bored as s--- 19 KB JPG >turn to my friend and say "don't come to school on may 2nd lol >next day I get called into the guidance counselors office >start talking about how they think I'm dangerous and that I'm gonna shoot up the school >mfw May 2nd is a f------ sunday

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Anon realises that Hitler was a genius | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: NFya3gs0 ) 06/19/22(Sun)16:16:36 No.382947647 Was Hitler unironically a genius? >total nobody at 30, no connections, no wealth >became the most promising politician just 10 years later with nothing but his charisma 1.09 MB JPG >created the most gigantic mass movement in human history from scratch >created an entire ideology from scratch >got rid of hunger and unemployment >gave a defeated and demoralised people their faith and confidence back >told Germans they're the best people in the world in a time when they were considered a joke >literally risked his own life in WW1 for his nation >whenever he spoke the crowd became f------ ecstatic, almost like under a spell >conquered all of Europe and almost Russia >conquered more territory than Napoleon or Alexander in a ridiculously short time >withstood the entire planet for 6 years >still lost due to betrayal >went down fighting till the last second, didn't even consider surrendering Seriously, was he even humans? There must have been demonic possession involved or aliens or some s--- because there is no way that 1 person can achieve so f------ much in a single lifetime and have such a titanic willpower.
: Anonymous (ID: NFya3gs0 ) 06/19/22(Sun)16:16:36 No.382947647 Was Hitler unironically a genius? >total nobody at 30, no connections, no wealth >became the most promising politician just 10 years later with nothing but his charisma 1.09 MB JPG >created the most gigantic mass movement in human history from scratch >created an entire ideology from scratch >got rid of hunger and unemployment >gave a defeated and demoralised people their faith and confidence back >told Germans they're the best people in the world in a time when they were considered a joke >literally risked his own life in WW1 for his nation >whenever he spoke the crowd became f------ ecstatic, almost like under a spell >conquered all of Europe and almost Russia >conquered more territory than Napoleon or Alexander in a ridiculously short time >withstood the entire planet for 6 years >still lost due to betrayal >went down fighting till the last second, didn't even consider surrendering Seriously, was he even humans? There must have been demonic possession involved or aliens or some s--- because there is no way that 1 person can achieve so f------ much in a single lifetime and have such a titanic willpower.

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The Bamboozled./- | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: kPkSv/99) 07/07/12(Sat) 13:00:06 M >be 14 year old boy >chat with girl of my age >tells me she's into older guys >pretend I'm 19 >sext with her > arrange meeting >go to her house >it's chris hanson >crew goes to jail for sexting with me
Anonymous (ID: kPkSv/99) 07/07/12(Sat) 13:00:06 M >be 14 year old boy >chat with girl of my age >tells me she's into older guys >pretend I'm 19 >sext with her > arrange meeting >go to her house >it's chris hanson >crew goes to jail for sexting with me

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Anon is running the seafood department | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: BYp7mBjj) 06/21/14(Sat) 18:50:49 No.552392328 >>552392541 >>552393061 >>552393149 >running the seafood dept. in a grocery store >xenophobic, dumbass suburban housewives are the worst customers for us >If it's not American, it's not good and is probably diseased >if it's not wild caught, it's not good and probably diseased >every f------ day >"I want salmon" >we got salmon >"I want wild caught" >there you go >"why is it 30 dollars when the fark raised is 8?" >because we have to import it freshly caught from the f------ Copper River in Alaska >"I want to pay the 8 dollars though" >then buy the farm raised miss >"no I don't eat farm raised. Let me talk to your manager" >I'm the manager, bitch >"I want some tilapia" >here you go miss >"wait this fish is farm raised" >yes >"I'd like the wild caught tilapia" >that doesn't exist >"I only eat wild caught" >then you don't eat tilapia >"and why is it from Chile?" >because tilapia is from Chile >"where can I get American tilapia" >you can't. You live in Ohio you c--- >"I've been eating tilapia for years and..." >you've been lied to for years >"where's your manager" >surprise bitch it's me Suburban housewives who don't eat terrorist-fish piss me the f--- off
Anonymous (ID: BYp7mBjj) 06/21/14(Sat) 18:50:49 No.552392328 >>552392541 >>552393061 >>552393149 >running the seafood dept. in a grocery store >xenophobic, dumbass suburban housewives are the worst customers for us >If it's not American, it's not good and is probably diseased >if it's not wild caught, it's not good and probably diseased >every f------ day >"I want salmon" >we got salmon >"I want wild caught" >there you go >"why is it 30 dollars when the fark raised is 8?" >because we have to import it freshly caught from the f------ Copper River in Alaska >"I want to pay the 8 dollars though" >then buy the farm raised miss >"no I don't eat farm raised. Let me talk to your manager" >I'm the manager, bitch >"I want some tilapia" >here you go miss >"wait this fish is farm raised" >yes >"I'd like the wild caught tilapia" >that doesn't exist >"I only eat wild caught" >then you don't eat tilapia >"and why is it from Chile?" >because tilapia is from Chile >"where can I get American tilapia" >you can't. You live in Ohio you c--- >"I've been eating tilapia for years and..." >you've been lied to for years >"where's your manager" >surprise bitch it's me Suburban housewives who don't eat terrorist-fish piss me the f--- off

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Nose to the grindstone | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/29/21 (Wed)10:11:37 No.66762370 >be me >download grinder since not gay but want people vying over my massive slong Ceaser salad with no lettuce >guy adds me, chats me up & asks for pic 118 KB JPG >send c--- pic and he sends in return, he's quite big >says he wants to suck my d--- >fake tell him OK (I like to make the appointment and then never show up. Lowering AIDS numbers one by one). >he sends address >recognize it >its one of my close friends >delete account and app >he doesn't know it was me, but I know it was him >he is super conservative wat do now
: Anonymous 12/29/21 (Wed)10:11:37 No.66762370 >be me >download grinder since not gay but want people vying over my massive slong Ceaser salad with no lettuce >guy adds me, chats me up & asks for pic 118 KB JPG >send c--- pic and he sends in return, he's quite big >says he wants to suck my d--- >fake tell him OK (I like to make the appointment and then never show up. Lowering AIDS numbers one by one). >he sends address >recognize it >its one of my close friends >delete account and app >he doesn't know it was me, but I know it was him >he is super conservative wat do now

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/v/ on unrealistic drug effects in vidya | /r/Greentext

8h (6/18 13:48) · 602856413 168 Re. 17 Img JPG 50KB (460 × 421) 12 Replies >take drug in vidya >screen becomes rainbow colored and shaky 8h (6/18 13:50) 602856474 15 Replies : >take drug in real life >desperately try to substitute lack of personality with the fact that you take drug :
8h (6/18 13:48) · 602856413 168 Re. 17 Img JPG 50KB (460 × 421) 12 Replies >take drug in vidya >screen becomes rainbow colored and shaky 8h (6/18 13:50) 602856474 15 Replies : >take drug in real life >desperately try to substitute lack of personality with the fact that you take drug :

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Anon have a good story | /r/Greentext

Anonymous No.627025189 16 minutes ago Got a story for ya. I'm not good at writing so bear with me. >A girl I knew in school was a total attention w----. >Never arrived to class on time and always made sure to make a huge fuss about it. >Didn't talk to her all that much but I did have a few conversations with her >Her wrists had cuts and burns all over them, she wore t shirts so she never hid them >I asked her why she was hurting herself like that >She said "No one loves me and my life is painful" etc etc >"No one loves you?" What about your parents or your boyfriend? >Answer she gave me was something like "They don't really love me" or some s--- >Made a point not to interact with her too much after that, because she's an attention w---- >End of the school year she came up to me and asked me if I wanted to go somewhere with her that Sunday >I'm not good with these situations so I couldn't say no even though I didn't like her >Sunday came and we went to the top of one of those tower car parks >Just as we got to the top she told me that she wanted me to be here as a witness to her suicide >Oh s---, I thought, she was going to jump and she was going to force me to watch >Had I known she was going to do this s--- I would never have gone with her >Not watching unless you do a flip, I said that to try and shock her into realizing this was stupid >Complete shock was written all over her face. She had thought I'd try to stop her >Ehh?! A-aren't you going to try to stop me? >Nah, go ahead. If you really wanted to live you'd stop yourself. >After a while she got down off the edge She walked up to me afterwards and tried to hug me with tears in her eyes but I told her I loved someone else. She asked me who and I told her to read the first letter of every line. 3 replies 000
Anonymous No.627025189 16 minutes ago Got a story for ya. I'm not good at writing so bear with me. >A girl I knew in school was a total attention w----. >Never arrived to class on time and always made sure to make a huge fuss about it. >Didn't talk to her all that much but I did have a few conversations with her >Her wrists had cuts and burns all over them, she wore t shirts so she never hid them >I asked her why she was hurting herself like that >She said "No one loves me and my life is painful" etc etc >"No one loves you?" What about your parents or your boyfriend? >Answer she gave me was something like "They don't really love me" or some s--- >Made a point not to interact with her too much after that, because she's an attention w---- >End of the school year she came up to me and asked me if I wanted to go somewhere with her that Sunday >I'm not good with these situations so I couldn't say no even though I didn't like her >Sunday came and we went to the top of one of those tower car parks >Just as we got to the top she told me that she wanted me to be here as a witness to her suicide >Oh s---, I thought, she was going to jump and she was going to force me to watch >Had I known she was going to do this s--- I would never have gone with her >Not watching unless you do a flip, I said that to try and shock her into realizing this was stupid >Complete shock was written all over her face. She had thought I'd try to stop her >Ehh?! A-aren't you going to try to stop me? >Nah, go ahead. If you really wanted to live you'd stop yourself. >After a while she got down off the edge She walked up to me afterwards and tried to hug me with tears in her eyes but I told her I loved someone else. She asked me who and I told her to read the first letter of every line. 3 replies 000

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Golden girl | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/18/22(Sat)21:10:24 No.69096324 >be me, incel/robot >29, turned 30 today >go back to my apartment expecting another birthday alone >my 60 year old neighbor made me a cake and brought me flowers and remembers the time I told her it's my birthday last year >she proceeds to give me a hug and wish me happy birthday 51 KB JPG >tfw I just developed feelings for a 60 year old woman because she's the first woman to give me some postive attention and a hug
: Anonymous 06/18/22(Sat)21:10:24 No.69096324 >be me, incel/robot >29, turned 30 today >go back to my apartment expecting another birthday alone >my 60 year old neighbor made me a cake and brought me flowers and remembers the time I told her it's my birthday last year >she proceeds to give me a hug and wish me happy birthday 51 KB JPG >tfw I just developed feelings for a 60 year old woman because she's the first woman to give me some postive attention and a hug

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Anon tries a threesome | /r/Greentext

>Be me >Best friend and his girlfriend drunkenly invite me to have threesome >F--- it why not >She's cute 6/10 >I would be lying if I said I never fapped while thinking about her >She starts things off by giving me bj >Good skills I >Start f------ her >Best friend just watches and faps >She tells him how to fap >Gets really vocal with him >Degrades him >She definitely the Dom in their relationship >I start f------ her doggy >She calls him over and gives him bj >C--- all over her face >She makes him lick it off >Eww but I ain't gonna kink shame >She gets on top and reverse cowgirl >Commands him to eat her out as I f--- >Can feel his tongue on my c--- >Kinda gay but I'm close to c------ >Warn them I'm gonna blow >She keeps grinding and tells me to c-- in her >Fill her up >Best friend then jumps in to suck my c-- out of her Wtfemoji.jpeg >He swallowed my c-- >She sucks him off again >Covers her t--- in c-- and again eats it off >W-- dude three loads! >She gives me another b------ >I'm to tired so sit back and relax >Best friend comes over and joins her >They both suck my c--- >Wtfdude! >To drained to protest >Not gonna lie it felt good having two mouths on my c--- >Close me eyes and enjoy it >Best friend takes over >She again degrades him >F------ hot hearing her in charge >C-- buckets in his mouth Nohomo.pdf >He eats his forth load of the night. MFW my best friend is a f-- and sucks better d--- than his girlfriend
>Be me >Best friend and his girlfriend drunkenly invite me to have threesome >F--- it why not >She's cute 6/10 >I would be lying if I said I never fapped while thinking about her >She starts things off by giving me bj >Good skills I >Start f------ her >Best friend just watches and faps >She tells him how to fap >Gets really vocal with him >Degrades him >She definitely the Dom in their relationship >I start f------ her doggy >She calls him over and gives him bj >C--- all over her face >She makes him lick it off >Eww but I ain't gonna kink shame >She gets on top and reverse cowgirl >Commands him to eat her out as I f--- >Can feel his tongue on my c--- >Kinda gay but I'm close to c------ >Warn them I'm gonna blow >She keeps grinding and tells me to c-- in her >Fill her up >Best friend then jumps in to suck my c-- out of her Wtfemoji.jpeg >He swallowed my c-- >She sucks him off again >Covers her t--- in c-- and again eats it off >W-- dude three loads! >She gives me another b------ >I'm to tired so sit back and relax >Best friend comes over and joins her >They both suck my c--- >Wtfdude! >To drained to protest >Not gonna lie it felt good having two mouths on my c--- >Close me eyes and enjoy it >Best friend takes over >She again degrades him >F------ hot hearing her in charge >C-- buckets in his mouth Nohomo.pdf >He eats his forth load of the night. MFW my best friend is a f-- and sucks better d--- than his girlfriend

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/v/idya on da battle of Washington D.C | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous CALL DUTY MODERN WARFARE 2 MON BEHARFERL 222 KB JPG deal is China? 04/27/22(Wed)08:07:21 No.597106146 >takes over half of europe in 24 hours >controls the entire east coast of USA in 1 week >in reality can't even capture the capital of the poorest europe country why vidya games keep overestimating the Russia's strength? while the real
: Anonymous CALL DUTY MODERN WARFARE 2 MON BEHARFERL 222 KB JPG deal is China? 04/27/22(Wed)08:07:21 No.597106146 >takes over half of europe in 24 hours >controls the entire east coast of USA in 1 week >in reality can't even capture the capital of the poorest europe country why vidya games keep overestimating the Russia's strength? while the real

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Anon has a cat | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 05/03/22(Tue)02:51:27 No.68471449 >a recruiter comes to my school >he spends time with me and the boys during recess >"Ay anon do you want to protect your family or your girlfriend?" >"No sir I don't have girlfriend and I hate my family" 226 KB PNG >"C'mon don't you have anything you want to protect?" >suddenly think about Mr.Hairy at home that's it robot, I will join the marines. no one f---- with my cat.
Anonymous 05/03/22(Tue)02:51:27 No.68471449 >a recruiter comes to my school >he spends time with me and the boys during recess >"Ay anon do you want to protect your family or your girlfriend?" >"No sir I don't have girlfriend and I hate my family" 226 KB PNG >"C'mon don't you have anything you want to protect?" >suddenly think about Mr.Hairy at home that's it robot, I will join the marines. no one f---- with my cat.

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Anon talks evolution | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/29/21 (Mon)00:09:19 No.3740366 1616800615574_monke_prophet.jpg 126 KB JPG >teach two of these f------ a language >give them an incentive to pass it down to their kids >their kids learn the language >kids of the kids learn the language >they figure out how to use tools >figure out fire >humans 2.0 : Anonymous 03/29/21 (Mon)01:09:38 No.3740427 Otters aren't that smart. >>3740434 #
: Anonymous 03/29/21 (Mon)00:09:19 No.3740366 1616800615574_monke_prophet.jpg 126 KB JPG >teach two of these f------ a language >give them an incentive to pass it down to their kids >their kids learn the language >kids of the kids learn the language >they figure out how to use tools >figure out fire >humans 2.0 : Anonymous 03/29/21 (Mon)01:09:38 No.3740427 Otters aren't that smart. >>3740434 #

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Anon gets to second base (on a technicality) | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/07/18 (Fri)22:26:16 No.779318356 >be me >walking in school hallway >pass by school thot who isn't wearing a bra >her t--- bounce making a clapping sound >realize that sound travels through air my touching the air then touching your ear >basically touched a boob 91 KB JPG See you later virgins
: Anonymous 09/07/18 (Fri)22:26:16 No.779318356 >be me >walking in school hallway >pass by school thot who isn't wearing a bra >her t--- bounce making a clapping sound >realize that sound travels through air my touching the air then touching your ear >basically touched a boob 91 KB JPG See you later virgins

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Anon does acid | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous did acid yesterday, ended up t(...) my life is f------ over. 0.0⁰ BADIA Complete Seasoning Sazón Completa >i knew i should have waited but it was windowpane acid and i havent had s--- that good since the 90s >dinner time 12 02 >getting close to the peak 11 KB JPG >dad asks me why I'm not eating much asks if i dont like it >i say "nah dad i like it I just wish it was your c--- in my mouth" >no f------ idea why. >dad dropped his silverware >mom started choking on her water >my brothers just stared at me >24 hours and no one has messaged me ive ruined my relationship with my entire family 06/19/22(Sun)10:05:39 No.69098011
: Anonymous did acid yesterday, ended up t(...) my life is f------ over. 0.0⁰ BADIA Complete Seasoning Sazón Completa >i knew i should have waited but it was windowpane acid and i havent had s--- that good since the 90s >dinner time 12 02 >getting close to the peak 11 KB JPG >dad asks me why I'm not eating much asks if i dont like it >i say "nah dad i like it I just wish it was your c--- in my mouth" >no f------ idea why. >dad dropped his silverware >mom started choking on her water >my brothers just stared at me >24 hours and no one has messaged me ive ruined my relationship with my entire family 06/19/22(Sun)10:05:39 No.69098011

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anon tries online dating | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 11/10/13(Sun)21:40:01 > been chatting with cute 14 year old girl > really flirty and sexy 61 KB JPG > now she tells me she's cop an undercover > how f------ cool is that for someone her age No.515425318
Anonymous 11/10/13(Sun)21:40:01 > been chatting with cute 14 year old girl > really flirty and sexy 61 KB JPG > now she tells me she's cop an undercover > how f------ cool is that for someone her age No.515425318

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Todd Howard announces TES 6 | /r/Greentext

06/14/17(Wed)17:06:14 No.380528116 >E3 2023 >Todd Howard comes out >"I'm pleased to announce the elder scrolls 6" >Crowd f------ flips >Todd hushes them >"Shhhh that's not the best part" : Anonymous 131 KB PNG >Crowd holds breath >Fallout 5? >Dishonored 3? >"YOU CAN PLAY SKYRIM IN TES 6"
06/14/17(Wed)17:06:14 No.380528116 >E3 2023 >Todd Howard comes out >"I'm pleased to announce the elder scrolls 6" >Crowd f------ flips >Todd hushes them >"Shhhh that's not the best part" : Anonymous 131 KB PNG >Crowd holds breath >Fallout 5? >Dishonored 3? >"YOU CAN PLAY SKYRIM IN TES 6"

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Anon posts his number on /b/ | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 09/06/16(Tue)00:35:04 No.702755839 >three years ago >really drunk >>post my number on 4chan asking someone to call me and tell me a story til i fall asleep >this bald m------------ right here calls me 234 KB JPG >tells me a story about a bear who switches places with a human for a day >many keks til i fall asleep >becomes a weekly ritual >time goes on and its less stories and more general conversation >three years later hes getting married >asks me to be the best man in his wedding >whythefucknot.jpg >fly up the coast to stay at his house for the weekend >friends and family all know 'of' me so its kinda weird >but everyones really f------ chill especially his friends probably one of the best weekends of my life, all thanks to /b/. and to think i was gonna axe murder him.
Anonymous 09/06/16(Tue)00:35:04 No.702755839 >three years ago >really drunk >>post my number on 4chan asking someone to call me and tell me a story til i fall asleep >this bald m------------ right here calls me 234 KB JPG >tells me a story about a bear who switches places with a human for a day >many keks til i fall asleep >becomes a weekly ritual >time goes on and its less stories and more general conversation >three years later hes getting married >asks me to be the best man in his wedding >whythefucknot.jpg >fly up the coast to stay at his house for the weekend >friends and family all know 'of' me so its kinda weird >but everyones really f------ chill especially his friends probably one of the best weekends of my life, all thanks to /b/. and to think i was gonna axe murder him.

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