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What if... Green Lantern was realistic? | /r/Greentext

File: Green Lantern Hal Jordan DCAU.jpg (145 KB, 800x1888) Anonymous 01/16/24(Tue)11:34:29 No.141715238 ► >>141716408 >>141716445 >>141716825 >>141716945 >>141719033 >>141719892 >>141723177 ITT mundane/boring calls Green Lanterns respond to. Speeding, domestic disturbances, possession of illegal space drugs/weapons, etc. Let's see if we can have some fun with this >"Sir, do you want to explain the Tamaranian sex slave sitting in your cargo hold?" >> □ Anonymous 01/16/24(Tue)12:45:43 No.141716825 File: D_TFol6WkAAmAZU[1].jpg (97 KB, 769x528) >>141717292 >>141715238 (OP) >Viewer description is advised. >Green Lantern Corps is filmed on location with the men and women of law enforcement. All suspects are innocent until proven guilty a court of law. ☐ Anonymous 01/16/24(Tue)13:07:29 No.141717292 ► >>141716825 >A Green Lantern is flying a ship with a media alien filming the show >"Yeah we sometimes use these vessels for civilians like you, saves on ring energy, you know...." >"Lantern 5637, we have an active 10-Glargaflep in progress in the Moszat System, please respond." >"Confirmed. Alright, let's go protect and serve" >Cut to a starship crashed into a space station, with two aliens arguing in unintelligible languages >"Hey, Whoa, WHOA! Yeah you, float 3 paces back from him! I mean it! Now what happened?" >"Glarga Pona Dizatatta!! Monotori-" >"Okay okay. You, stay here. Transit your insurance agent. And calm down, we're in a public sector for god sake." >Floats over to the other one >"Sir, have you been taking anything not permitted off your designated homeworld?" >"BLAZaaaTORGA!" >"Alright let me see your tentacles, ALL of them!" >He runs, but its far less interesting because they're floating in a vacuum. Camera is still shaky >Tackles the guy, finds these little alien tadpoles you shove up your ass to get high ☐ Anonymous 01/16/24(Tue)18:48:59 No.141721680 ► >How is this engaging in sex with a minor? Do you not understand relativity? We were both born on the same day only I travelled in space.
File: Green Lantern Hal Jordan DCAU.jpg (145 KB, 800x1888) Anonymous 01/16/24(Tue)11:34:29 No.141715238 ► >>141716408 >>141716445 >>141716825 >>141716945 >>141719033 >>141719892 >>141723177 ITT mundane/boring calls Green Lanterns respond to. Speeding, domestic disturbances, possession of illegal space drugs/weapons, etc. Let's see if we can have some fun with this >"Sir, do you want to explain the Tamaranian sex slave sitting in your cargo hold?" >> □ Anonymous 01/16/24(Tue)12:45:43 No.141716825 File: D_TFol6WkAAmAZU[1].jpg (97 KB, 769x528) >>141717292 >>141715238 (OP) >Viewer description is advised. >Green Lantern Corps is filmed on location with the men and women of law enforcement. All suspects are innocent until proven guilty a court of law. ☐ Anonymous 01/16/24(Tue)13:07:29 No.141717292 ► >>141716825 >A Green Lantern is flying a ship with a media alien filming the show >"Yeah we sometimes use these vessels for civilians like you, saves on ring energy, you know...." >"Lantern 5637, we have an active 10-Glargaflep in progress in the Moszat System, please respond." >"Confirmed. Alright, let's go protect and serve" >Cut to a starship crashed into a space station, with two aliens arguing in unintelligible languages >"Hey, Whoa, WHOA! Yeah you, float 3 paces back from him! I mean it! Now what happened?" >"Glarga Pona Dizatatta!! Monotori-" >"Okay okay. You, stay here. Transit your insurance agent. And calm down, we're in a public sector for god sake." >Floats over to the other one >"Sir, have you been taking anything not permitted off your designated homeworld?" >"BLAZaaaTORGA!" >"Alright let me see your tentacles, ALL of them!" >He runs, but its far less interesting because they're floating in a vacuum. Camera is still shaky >Tackles the guy, finds these little alien tadpoles you shove up your ass to get high ☐ Anonymous 01/16/24(Tue)18:48:59 No.141721680 ► >How is this engaging in sex with a minor? Do you not understand relativity? We were both born on the same day only I travelled in space.

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This is just sad | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 930 KB WEBM 01/16/24(Tue)06:57:33 No.20107420 >Be me >Go to KFC >Read the order off my phone in the hopes the cashier will think my wife wrote it for me and I'm picking up dinner for the family (I'm a 36 yo khv) >cashiers fw How do you guys trick fast food/liquor stores etc into thinking you aren't just ordering for yourself?
: Anonymous 930 KB WEBM 01/16/24(Tue)06:57:33 No.20107420 >Be me >Go to KFC >Read the order off my phone in the hopes the cashier will think my wife wrote it for me and I'm picking up dinner for the family (I'm a 36 yo khv) >cashiers fw How do you guys trick fast food/liquor stores etc into thinking you aren't just ordering for yourself?

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The wallussy | /r/Greentext

File: Pushy_wall_64.png (160 KB, 363x300) << 8 Anonymous 01/16/24(Tue)07:58:41 No.663869507 ► >>663871109 >>6638715 >>663882512 >>663882673 >>663884201 >>663885405 >>663885430 >>663885597 >>663885640. >>663891858 >>663891941 >>663894947 >>663896373 >>663896674 >>663897281 >>663898259 shameful vidya faps 0₂ how Anonymous 01/16/24(Tue) 14:59:55 No.663898259 >>663869507 (OP) >BGE (Big Googly Eyes) what a f------ slut *unzips* Anonymous 01/16/24(Tue)08:00:28 No.663869653 >>663876110 >>663881892 >>663885828 >>663894846
File: Pushy_wall_64.png (160 KB, 363x300) << 8 Anonymous 01/16/24(Tue)07:58:41 No.663869507 ► >>663871109 >>6638715 >>663882512 >>663882673 >>663884201 >>663885405 >>663885430 >>663885597 >>663885640. >>663891858 >>663891941 >>663894947 >>663896373 >>663896674 >>663897281 >>663898259 shameful vidya faps 0₂ how Anonymous 01/16/24(Tue) 14:59:55 No.663898259 >>663869507 (OP) >BGE (Big Googly Eyes) what a f------ slut *unzips* Anonymous 01/16/24(Tue)08:00:28 No.663869653 >>663876110 >>663881892 >>663885828 >>663894846

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Anon has a whale experience | /r/Greentext

Anonymous JPG | 58.30 KB Tuesday 2024-01-16 12:53:41 8 minutes ago 912454640 Be me 18yo femanon >Always kinda chubby kinda average growing up but not too big >severely bullied for my weight >get out on a s--- ton of psych meds and at 15 and gain 110lbs >is literally morbidly obese (260lbs) >people made more of an effort to compliment me >guys were interested in me >starts working out and dieting august 2023 >loses 80lbs >no longer gets complimented >no guys talk to me Does anyone ever win? Am I doing something wrong?? This isn't going to stop my progress but damn I thought guys hated fat women 6 Replies 1 Image 7 Posters ●●● 5 REPLY
Anonymous JPG | 58.30 KB Tuesday 2024-01-16 12:53:41 8 minutes ago 912454640 Be me 18yo femanon >Always kinda chubby kinda average growing up but not too big >severely bullied for my weight >get out on a s--- ton of psych meds and at 15 and gain 110lbs >is literally morbidly obese (260lbs) >people made more of an effort to compliment me >guys were interested in me >starts working out and dieting august 2023 >loses 80lbs >no longer gets complimented >no guys talk to me Does anyone ever win? Am I doing something wrong?? This isn't going to stop my progress but damn I thought guys hated fat women 6 Replies 1 Image 7 Posters ●●● 5 REPLY

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Beep beep beep | /r/Greentext

Anonymous PNG | 243.10 KB Tuesday 2024-01-16 11:57:38 about an hour ago 912452668 >be me >be smoke detector >finally get placed in a home >they people are black? >a few months go by >battery is empty >make beep to notify owner i'm empty >they ignore me >BEEP BEEP BEEP >they ignore me again >months go by, even years but i keep beeping to let them know >BEEP BEEP BEEP >they never changed my batteries >fire breaks out >see fire reach their sleeping room but i cant let the alaram go off bc no batteries >see all people inside die by being burned alive >firemen come in >what could have happened they had a smoke alarm >beep 1 Reply 1 Image 2 Posters REPLY
Anonymous PNG | 243.10 KB Tuesday 2024-01-16 11:57:38 about an hour ago 912452668 >be me >be smoke detector >finally get placed in a home >they people are black? >a few months go by >battery is empty >make beep to notify owner i'm empty >they ignore me >BEEP BEEP BEEP >they ignore me again >months go by, even years but i keep beeping to let them know >BEEP BEEP BEEP >they never changed my batteries >fire breaks out >see fire reach their sleeping room but i cant let the alaram go off bc no batteries >see all people inside die by being burned alive >firemen come in >what could have happened they had a smoke alarm >beep 1 Reply 1 Image 2 Posters REPLY

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Anon is walking a dangerous fence | /r/Greentext

Anonymous FIRKING CLARK Economic Left EVERY WITH MALE SHOED MA TO LET TIPS AND AT LEAST ONCE! 4029 De Foce o GENG The ROCKIE Uste MY WOMAN yay Economic- Right me 644 G Save the IS FREE JPG | 803.16 KB Tuesday 2024-01-16 11:05:25 2 hours ago 912450585 am I a coward or smart? This probably isn't the best place to turn to but I don't want to ask anywhere that can place a name on me >17 yo neet girl (I heard her voice in VC) comes to me from /soc/image thread from pic related >Due to her s----- sleep schedule I like to see her as my night buddy for when I gotta work late into the night >At some point she mentions how she sexually harasses other girls >jokingly ask when she turns 18 so I can do it to her >she's from texas where the AOC is 17 >I'm 25 in Florida for college where the AOC is 18, although I'm from PA where the AOC is 16 >make flippant comment about asking for t--- >she wants a d--- pic first >turn down the offer due to fear of it being used against me >she keeps pressing me on it If I give in am I absolutely f----- legally? Or should I swallow my pride and keep declining like a bitch and not risk any legal s---. I feel like that would be the smart thing to do but at the same time should I really allow fear to control me? 15 Replies 0 Images 14 Posters 10 REPLY
Anonymous FIRKING CLARK Economic Left EVERY WITH MALE SHOED MA TO LET TIPS AND AT LEAST ONCE! 4029 De Foce o GENG The ROCKIE Uste MY WOMAN yay Economic- Right me 644 G Save the IS FREE JPG | 803.16 KB Tuesday 2024-01-16 11:05:25 2 hours ago 912450585 am I a coward or smart? This probably isn't the best place to turn to but I don't want to ask anywhere that can place a name on me >17 yo neet girl (I heard her voice in VC) comes to me from /soc/image thread from pic related >Due to her s----- sleep schedule I like to see her as my night buddy for when I gotta work late into the night >At some point she mentions how she sexually harasses other girls >jokingly ask when she turns 18 so I can do it to her >she's from texas where the AOC is 17 >I'm 25 in Florida for college where the AOC is 18, although I'm from PA where the AOC is 16 >make flippant comment about asking for t--- >she wants a d--- pic first >turn down the offer due to fear of it being used against me >she keeps pressing me on it If I give in am I absolutely f----- legally? Or should I swallow my pride and keep declining like a bitch and not risk any legal s---. I feel like that would be the smart thing to do but at the same time should I really allow fear to control me? 15 Replies 0 Images 14 Posters 10 REPLY

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Anon on 23andme | /r/Greentext


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holy shit. | /r/Greentext

>walk into her room to see she's still asleep as well >nudge her shoulder a little bit to wake her >"looks like you forgot to set an alarm too! hahah" >she doesnt move >nudge her again >"mom" >she doesnt move >call dad Anonymous 01/15/24(Mon)20:25:38 No.912442150 >be me, 14 y/o >spend a day of summer vacation home with mom >we just hang out and do cool stuff, watch some movies, eat yummy snacks >"okay anon its getting late, time for bed! make sure you set an alarm so you dont sleep in too late. i love you" >"okay mom goodnight i love you!" >dont set an alarm, play video games until 6 am assuming she'll just wake me up in the morning like she always does >wake up on my own >its 4pm, she let me sleep in again >"dad i just woke up, mom is in bed she isnt moving" >"what? shake her" >"i am" >"SHAKE HER HARDER ANON" >"dad i am" >"KEEP SHAKING HER HARD. GET WATER AND POUR IT ON HER" >"i-i did it dad she isnt waking up" >im speaking between sobs at this point >"call 911 ill be there soon" >i talk to the operator, she tells me to run and get my neighbor, to slam on his door and call for his help >i do it but i know its no use >paramedic gets there, walks into my house >checks her out for a second >"looks like shes been gone for a while. im sorry" >i drop to my knees, nonstop tears for the next half hour its been 3 years. ive never forgiven myself. if only i set my f------ alarm like she asked me to shed still be here. its all my fault. every night i fall asleep hoping that i dont have to wake up the next day.
>walk into her room to see she's still asleep as well >nudge her shoulder a little bit to wake her >"looks like you forgot to set an alarm too! hahah" >she doesnt move >nudge her again >"mom" >she doesnt move >call dad Anonymous 01/15/24(Mon)20:25:38 No.912442150 >be me, 14 y/o >spend a day of summer vacation home with mom >we just hang out and do cool stuff, watch some movies, eat yummy snacks >"okay anon its getting late, time for bed! make sure you set an alarm so you dont sleep in too late. i love you" >"okay mom goodnight i love you!" >dont set an alarm, play video games until 6 am assuming she'll just wake me up in the morning like she always does >wake up on my own >its 4pm, she let me sleep in again >"dad i just woke up, mom is in bed she isnt moving" >"what? shake her" >"i am" >"SHAKE HER HARDER ANON" >"dad i am" >"KEEP SHAKING HER HARD. GET WATER AND POUR IT ON HER" >"i-i did it dad she isnt waking up" >im speaking between sobs at this point >"call 911 ill be there soon" >i talk to the operator, she tells me to run and get my neighbor, to slam on his door and call for his help >i do it but i know its no use >paramedic gets there, walks into my house >checks her out for a second >"looks like shes been gone for a while. im sorry" >i drop to my knees, nonstop tears for the next half hour its been 3 years. ive never forgiven myself. if only i set my f------ alarm like she asked me to shed still be here. its all my fault. every night i fall asleep hoping that i dont have to wake up the next day.

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Green text but wrong format | /r/Greentext

Told my boss "I am the best decision this organization has ever made" on my first day as an intern, did I screw up? Coworkers Recently started my first internship as a finance major... On my first day I went over to my manger's manager (a director at said firm) and introduced myself. He said something like "you must be the new intern" and I replied "that's right and I am the best decision this organization has ever made" (just what tom brady told the team owner before winning 6 super bowls) but inst of being impressed he just replied something "yeah... I can tell... anyway I need to take a call see you around". Later that day I saw the HR Manager who hired me walk into his office, not sure if that's out of the ordinary. Also, the first year analyst came over to me and told me "You're a legend mate, want to grab a coffee"? Not sure why he talks like that, he's not even british. Did I screw up or did I make a good impression? I am really not sure how to read the situation.
Told my boss "I am the best decision this organization has ever made" on my first day as an intern, did I screw up? Coworkers Recently started my first internship as a finance major... On my first day I went over to my manger's manager (a director at said firm) and introduced myself. He said something like "you must be the new intern" and I replied "that's right and I am the best decision this organization has ever made" (just what tom brady told the team owner before winning 6 super bowls) but inst of being impressed he just replied something "yeah... I can tell... anyway I need to take a call see you around". Later that day I saw the HR Manager who hired me walk into his office, not sure if that's out of the ordinary. Also, the first year analyst came over to me and told me "You're a legend mate, want to grab a coffee"? Not sure why he talks like that, he's not even british. Did I screw up or did I make a good impression? I am really not sure how to read the situation.

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Anon fraudmaxxes | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 290 KB JPG 01/16/24(Tue)01:59:43 No.76128153 >be me >obese 5'9 manlet >hire amateur photographer from local Facebook group to take photos of me looking obnoxiously wealthy >tell him how I'm a rapper and I need to show off >take photos while inside the Carlton Ritz lobby and next to some fancy sports car at this parking garage >in reality use photos to set up an IG page >hire some jeet from Fiverr to set up bots to like and follow my page >rest of my IG page is uploading other people's IG pics from their vacations and fancy meals >start messaging random women >managed to collect dozens of nudes and even had sex with some of them It's 2024 why arent you Fraudmaxxing?
: Anonymous 290 KB JPG 01/16/24(Tue)01:59:43 No.76128153 >be me >obese 5'9 manlet >hire amateur photographer from local Facebook group to take photos of me looking obnoxiously wealthy >tell him how I'm a rapper and I need to show off >take photos while inside the Carlton Ritz lobby and next to some fancy sports car at this parking garage >in reality use photos to set up an IG page >hire some jeet from Fiverr to set up bots to like and follow my page >rest of my IG page is uploading other people's IG pics from their vacations and fancy meals >start messaging random women >managed to collect dozens of nudes and even had sex with some of them It's 2024 why arent you Fraudmaxxing?

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Anon knows how to deal with feds | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous FBI 01/15/24(Mon )04:01:56 No.194946345 1705266095701.jpg 48 KB JPG FBI 2 AHO >*KNOCK KNOCK* >Anon we know you've been pirating movies, please come out so we can have a chat Anonymous >>194946345 (OP) # >loud clicking sound >trap door above porch swings open >dozens of venomous snakes fall 01/15/24(Mon)04:03:21 No.194946418
: Anonymous FBI 01/15/24(Mon )04:01:56 No.194946345 1705266095701.jpg 48 KB JPG FBI 2 AHO >*KNOCK KNOCK* >Anon we know you've been pirating movies, please come out so we can have a chat Anonymous >>194946345 (OP) # >loud clicking sound >trap door above porch swings open >dozens of venomous snakes fall 01/15/24(Mon)04:03:21 No.194946418

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Anon is bottom of the food chain | /r/Greentext

File: 9e02b4257c05e19434bd28a1f(...).jpg (126 KB, 400x400) Anonymous 01/15/24(Mon)21:33:41 No.76126555 > Be me, graceful Indian Nilgai Antelope > Body is made of delicious food for the Indian Tiger > Am constantly stalked Indian Tigers > Parents, siblings and children were all killed and eaten by Tigers > Live in constant state of PTSD-like terror of Tigers > One day, I will be eaten by the Indian Tiger > Still better than being Human
File: 9e02b4257c05e19434bd28a1f(...).jpg (126 KB, 400x400) Anonymous 01/15/24(Mon)21:33:41 No.76126555 > Be me, graceful Indian Nilgai Antelope > Body is made of delicious food for the Indian Tiger > Am constantly stalked Indian Tigers > Parents, siblings and children were all killed and eaten by Tigers > Live in constant state of PTSD-like terror of Tigers > One day, I will be eaten by the Indian Tiger > Still better than being Human

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anon works at the backrooms | /r/Greentext

File: backroomsoffice.jpg (30 KB, 508x398) found the backrooms Anonymous 01/15/24(Mon)15:30:10 No.36951051 i found history today anons > be me get hired as a Janitor > place is a office looking like it was made around the 90s > Companies budget couldn't afford to fix anything, so the building was filled with stains and cracks, just a disgusting ass place in general. > begin to see similarites to the original backrooms image > Carpet looked similar, the wallpaper patterns, etc. > Eventually midway through the shift I get to one of the other areas of the office > It's the original backrooms image > Holyshit.jpeg > Take a picture of it with my phone, then try and crop and compress it until it looks like the angle of the original image /x/ i found the backrooms w-- do i do?
File: backroomsoffice.jpg (30 KB, 508x398) found the backrooms Anonymous 01/15/24(Mon)15:30:10 No.36951051 i found history today anons > be me get hired as a Janitor > place is a office looking like it was made around the 90s > Companies budget couldn't afford to fix anything, so the building was filled with stains and cracks, just a disgusting ass place in general. > begin to see similarites to the original backrooms image > Carpet looked similar, the wallpaper patterns, etc. > Eventually midway through the shift I get to one of the other areas of the office > It's the original backrooms image > Holyshit.jpeg > Take a picture of it with my phone, then try and crop and compress it until it looks like the angle of the original image /x/ i found the backrooms w-- do i do?

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Anon is trying to become a software engineer | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 45 KB JPG Anonymous 75 KB JPG 12/13/20(Sun)13:31:14 No.79188498 >can easily spend all day playing video games >get tired after 10 minutes doing a programming tutorial I'll never become a software engineer at this rate. How to fix? 12/13/20(Sun)13:33:03 No.79188521 You will be real sad when the opposite happens... >>79190287 # >>79190524 # >>79190710 # >>79192745 # >>79193456 # >>79193863 # >>79194025 # >>79194100 # >>79196109 # >>79196351 # >>79199659 # >>79200563 #
: Anonymous 45 KB JPG Anonymous 75 KB JPG 12/13/20(Sun)13:31:14 No.79188498 >can easily spend all day playing video games >get tired after 10 minutes doing a programming tutorial I'll never become a software engineer at this rate. How to fix? 12/13/20(Sun)13:33:03 No.79188521 You will be real sad when the opposite happens... >>79190287 # >>79190524 # >>79190710 # >>79192745 # >>79193456 # >>79193863 # >>79194025 # >>79194100 # >>79196109 # >>79196351 # >>79199659 # >>79200563 #

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Gay or misogynist, call it. | /r/Greentext

01/12/24(Fri)16:25:10 No.663486108 >unironically picking female in character creator >unironically playing games with female protags >unironically using feminine words like "cute" >unironically posting female anime characters >unironically listening to songs with female vocals : Anonymous 62 KB JPG
01/12/24(Fri)16:25:10 No.663486108 >unironically picking female in character creator >unironically playing games with female protags >unironically using feminine words like "cute" >unironically posting female anime characters >unironically listening to songs with female vocals : Anonymous 62 KB JPG

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Anon might be a sociopath | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 01/15/24(Mon )09:35:51 No.194991648 >be owner of priceless necklace >find out some explorers are searching for it >they fly me out and listen to my story and are very nice >decide to throw necklace to the bottom of the f------ ocean >dont even tell them so they'll keep searching for years to come kek >don't care that i just threw out my grandchildren's $10 billion inheritance w-- was this bitches problem?
Anonymous 01/15/24(Mon )09:35:51 No.194991648 >be owner of priceless necklace >find out some explorers are searching for it >they fly me out and listen to my story and are very nice >decide to throw necklace to the bottom of the f------ ocean >dont even tell them so they'll keep searching for years to come kek >don't care that i just threw out my grandchildren's $10 billion inheritance w-- was this bitches problem?

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Anon’s best friend | /r/Greentext

Anonymous My best friend 168 KB JPG 12/17/23(Sun)20:39:33 No.910981683 >be me >loser autist >always bullied in school >one day >attendance office calls me out >says parents about to pick me up >go outside >omg.mp4 >it was none other than donald trump! >"hey anon, screw these bullies, lets have a good time" >hellyeah.jpeg >go golfing together >fire some rifles in the shooting range >go see the super mario bros movie >go to his house to play vidya >have the time of my life >end of the day approaches >"that was fun anon, i would like to hang out with you again sometime" >bye trump, catch you on the flip side Thank you Donald Trump for making me feel good about myself. You will always be my friend until the end of time.
Anonymous My best friend 168 KB JPG 12/17/23(Sun)20:39:33 No.910981683 >be me >loser autist >always bullied in school >one day >attendance office calls me out >says parents about to pick me up >go outside >omg.mp4 >it was none other than donald trump! >"hey anon, screw these bullies, lets have a good time" >hellyeah.jpeg >go golfing together >fire some rifles in the shooting range >go see the super mario bros movie >go to his house to play vidya >have the time of my life >end of the day approaches >"that was fun anon, i would like to hang out with you again sometime" >bye trump, catch you on the flip side Thank you Donald Trump for making me feel good about myself. You will always be my friend until the end of time.

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Anon is a Pokemon trainer | /r/Greentext

File: 1320341359.ipq-(67 KB, 600x1196, pokemon1.jpg) Anonymous 11/03/11 (Thu)13:29:19 No.361696761 >Adopt six very young children >Make them each wear different pokemon costumes >Build giant pokeballs and place beds in them as rooms >Homeschool them and teach them moves like tackle and headbutt >As they get older give electric pokemon tazers, fire pokemon propane torches etc.. to perform more complex moves >When they are bad make them hold a rock that I call "the everstone that stops them from evolving and send them to their pokeball >every so often knock one out with chloroform and change costume to next evolution. 19037 >As they hit teen years explain they can only mate at the daycare center when their stats are high enough I'll bring them there. >possibly pay a prostitute to wear pokemon costume and bang my pokemon children Anonymous 11/03/11 (Thu)13:32:40 No.361697095 File 1320341560.jpg-(118 KB, 500x550, pokemon-pikachu-cosplay-costum(...).jpg) >at level/age 18 enroll each pokemon in a different armed service (marines, army, coast guard, air force, navy, national guard) >tell them they are each going on undercover missions and have them take "medicine (knock out pills) that will make them appear human. >strip off pokemon costumes and hide them. >tell each one that I have a special device that will transport them back to the pokeball when they fall asleep and leave a plush replica so they won't get found out. >tell them they cannot reveal they are pokemon to anyone, tell them military has captured all pokemon and they must move up the ranks and collect "badges" to free their pokemon comrades. >every thanksgiving I invite them home where I drug the food to knock them out and they wake up in their pokemon costumes again. >collect all their medals in a badge case. >because of my strict training and teaching them to follow orders they move quickly up the chain of command. > Anonymous 11/03/11 (Thu) 13:35:20 No.361697386 File 1320341720.jpq-(5 KB, 150x113, Charizard_costume_by_bigcroco.jpg) >>over the next decades they become top level military leaders learning all the intelligence and gaining all authorizations and launch codes. >when the time is right have them all call a joint press conference. >have them all come out in pokemon costumes and reveal they are pokemon and that pokemon are real >>I step onto the stage and reveal I'm their trainer >any member of the press has a question I shout "charizard I choose you! use flamethrower and sick my pokemon on them. >Finally I am the greatest pokemon master in the world.
File: 1320341359.ipq-(67 KB, 600x1196, pokemon1.jpg) Anonymous 11/03/11 (Thu)13:29:19 No.361696761 >Adopt six very young children >Make them each wear different pokemon costumes >Build giant pokeballs and place beds in them as rooms >Homeschool them and teach them moves like tackle and headbutt >As they get older give electric pokemon tazers, fire pokemon propane torches etc.. to perform more complex moves >When they are bad make them hold a rock that I call "the everstone that stops them from evolving and send them to their pokeball >every so often knock one out with chloroform and change costume to next evolution. 19037 >As they hit teen years explain they can only mate at the daycare center when their stats are high enough I'll bring them there. >possibly pay a prostitute to wear pokemon costume and bang my pokemon children Anonymous 11/03/11 (Thu)13:32:40 No.361697095 File 1320341560.jpg-(118 KB, 500x550, pokemon-pikachu-cosplay-costum(...).jpg) >at level/age 18 enroll each pokemon in a different armed service (marines, army, coast guard, air force, navy, national guard) >tell them they are each going on undercover missions and have them take "medicine (knock out pills) that will make them appear human. >strip off pokemon costumes and hide them. >tell each one that I have a special device that will transport them back to the pokeball when they fall asleep and leave a plush replica so they won't get found out. >tell them they cannot reveal they are pokemon to anyone, tell them military has captured all pokemon and they must move up the ranks and collect "badges" to free their pokemon comrades. >every thanksgiving I invite them home where I drug the food to knock them out and they wake up in their pokemon costumes again. >collect all their medals in a badge case. >because of my strict training and teaching them to follow orders they move quickly up the chain of command. > Anonymous 11/03/11 (Thu) 13:35:20 No.361697386 File 1320341720.jpq-(5 KB, 150x113, Charizard_costume_by_bigcroco.jpg) >>over the next decades they become top level military leaders learning all the intelligence and gaining all authorizations and launch codes. >when the time is right have them all call a joint press conference. >have them all come out in pokemon costumes and reveal they are pokemon and that pokemon are real >>I step onto the stage and reveal I'm their trainer >any member of the press has a question I shout "charizard I choose you! use flamethrower and sick my pokemon on them. >Finally I am the greatest pokemon master in the world.

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Anon is correct | /r/Greentext

Anonymous GAASlop 5 Do RESHA TOTAL S A 111-0 01/15/24(Mon)19:05:26 No.663800797 DATA SHARDS DEPOSITED 7/14 +1 DATA SHARDS DEPOSITED suicide squad.jpg 108 KB JPG 1 SCAVENGER KILL 3 121 >sees picrel on X (formerly Twitter) while high >think its fake 1.140 376 420 TE-O TUNE ANTI-FLASH WEAPON CHARGES 8 12 ROUNDS 016212x306-ut 05d2229-US TOYMAN 57x7684-US 11 >Its actually real >Its like that 'Elden Ring by Ubisoft' parody image but unironically real >realized that video game UI peaked with Dead Space Do devs just not care about this s--- any more? Why do games have to look like MMO lite now?
Anonymous GAASlop 5 Do RESHA TOTAL S A 111-0 01/15/24(Mon)19:05:26 No.663800797 DATA SHARDS DEPOSITED 7/14 +1 DATA SHARDS DEPOSITED suicide squad.jpg 108 KB JPG 1 SCAVENGER KILL 3 121 >sees picrel on X (formerly Twitter) while high >think its fake 1.140 376 420 TE-O TUNE ANTI-FLASH WEAPON CHARGES 8 12 ROUNDS 016212x306-ut 05d2229-US TOYMAN 57x7684-US 11 >Its actually real >Its like that 'Elden Ring by Ubisoft' parody image but unironically real >realized that video game UI peaked with Dead Space Do devs just not care about this s--- any more? Why do games have to look like MMO lite now?

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Story of a lifetime | /r/Greentext

E Name of this phenomenon >Be me >4th Grade >Have a crush on a girl with whom I was friends with >Get friend zoned >Later she became distant >Neveragain.png >FFW to Grade 7 (new school) >Have a crush on a girl with whom I had neutral ground >Friendzoned again but this time they would exploit my generosity of snacks till next year when I stopped being generous. Distance again. >Grade 8, New crush >This time I am not telling her my feelings >Gr 8 crush texts me asking how can she be friends with 1 guy who she likes >She deleted this message and told me to ignore it >That guy and her would regularly enter argument shouting contests between the two >Decide to stop talking since its a dead end. She didnt notice >Grade 9 >New crush. We were friends and we both shared passion for geek culture >Had a good friendship >Had to move so I knew I wont have chances at dating so I kept my feelings secret >We kept conversation well but soon they too became distant for no reason. >Neveragainforrealthistime.jpeg >FFW to now. >suppress my feelings because they always result in a fail. Normies keep on saying that you should talk to women. Whats the point when anytime I talked them, they friend zone me but in reality they distance themselves or use me as a snack dispenser or free therapist.
E Name of this phenomenon >Be me >4th Grade >Have a crush on a girl with whom I was friends with >Get friend zoned >Later she became distant >Neveragain.png >FFW to Grade 7 (new school) >Have a crush on a girl with whom I had neutral ground >Friendzoned again but this time they would exploit my generosity of snacks till next year when I stopped being generous. Distance again. >Grade 8, New crush >This time I am not telling her my feelings >Gr 8 crush texts me asking how can she be friends with 1 guy who she likes >She deleted this message and told me to ignore it >That guy and her would regularly enter argument shouting contests between the two >Decide to stop talking since its a dead end. She didnt notice >Grade 9 >New crush. We were friends and we both shared passion for geek culture >Had a good friendship >Had to move so I knew I wont have chances at dating so I kept my feelings secret >We kept conversation well but soon they too became distant for no reason. >Neveragainforrealthistime.jpeg >FFW to now. >suppress my feelings because they always result in a fail. Normies keep on saying that you should talk to women. Whats the point when anytime I talked them, they friend zone me but in reality they distance themselves or use me as a snack dispenser or free therapist.

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