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Anon shares his cheat codes to a good life | /r/Greentext

: Eyyyy >>69028275 (OP) # Some people waste years of their life chasing goals that they think will make them happy. >when I look like that, then I'll be happy >when I drive a car like that, then I'll be happy >when I live in a home like that, then I'll be happy >when I have a gf/bf like that, then I'll be happy 11/22/22(Tue)09:25:55 No.69029603 The harsh truth is that by the time they reach these goals, they already have another goal in mind that they think will make them happy. Take my advice: Be happy now. Accept yourself exactly the way you are. Then, by the time you reach your goals, you would have been happy all along. Chances are that you'll be much more likely to actually reach these goals with the positive mindset that automatically comes with loving yourself.
: Eyyyy >>69028275 (OP) # Some people waste years of their life chasing goals that they think will make them happy. >when I look like that, then I'll be happy >when I drive a car like that, then I'll be happy >when I live in a home like that, then I'll be happy >when I have a gf/bf like that, then I'll be happy 11/22/22(Tue)09:25:55 No.69029603 The harsh truth is that by the time they reach these goals, they already have another goal in mind that they think will make them happy. Take my advice: Be happy now. Accept yourself exactly the way you are. Then, by the time you reach your goals, you would have been happy all along. Chances are that you'll be much more likely to actually reach these goals with the positive mindset that automatically comes with loving yourself.

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anon is shocked | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 98 KB PNG 11/07/22(Mon)08:17:46 No.70892844 >Got bored and decided to check other boards I dont usually visit >open /x/ >see f------ talking about magick and rituals and soul energy >read replies >they genuinely believe this s--- Are they larping or do they actually think this s--- works?
: Anonymous 98 KB PNG 11/07/22(Mon)08:17:46 No.70892844 >Got bored and decided to check other boards I dont usually visit >open /x/ >see f------ talking about magick and rituals and soul energy >read replies >they genuinely believe this s--- Are they larping or do they actually think this s--- works?

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Anon's great-grandpa in WW2 | /r/Greentext

The story of my great-grandpa during WW2 >be my great-grandpa >german farmer >huge farm >farm was in todays poland >sometime during world war 2 >sees french tank coming on his land from a distance >driving in his direction >f--- >lightbulb_above_head_idea.jpg >still have handgrenades from the world war 1 >bind 4 grenades together >wait for tank >run outside >make a big turn around tank >tank has slow aim >can't keep aiming at my great-grandpa >climbs on top of tank >pull all 4 grenade pins >open tank hatch >throw grenades inside >4_loud_consecutive_bangs.wav >3 or 4 french p------ dead Mfw my based great-grandpa singlehandedly won a 3vs1 against a tank
The story of my great-grandpa during WW2 >be my great-grandpa >german farmer >huge farm >farm was in todays poland >sometime during world war 2 >sees french tank coming on his land from a distance >driving in his direction >f--- >lightbulb_above_head_idea.jpg >still have handgrenades from the world war 1 >bind 4 grenades together >wait for tank >run outside >make a big turn around tank >tank has slow aim >can't keep aiming at my great-grandpa >climbs on top of tank >pull all 4 grenade pins >open tank hatch >throw grenades inside >4_loud_consecutive_bangs.wav >3 or 4 french p------ dead Mfw my based great-grandpa singlehandedly won a 3vs1 against a tank

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I crave for them T H I C C anime thighs | /r/Greentext


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Anon detaches from reality | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/03/21(Tue)12:57:47 No.80646293 1618542645521.jpg 39 KB JPG >>80645680 # >every morning I break out of my house >every night I break in >I do not sleep >I only repair the damage and perfect my defenses >I hunger for the day that I am either entombed forever or effectively exiled from my own house
: Anonymous 08/03/21(Tue)12:57:47 No.80646293 1618542645521.jpg 39 KB JPG >>80645680 # >every morning I break out of my house >every night I break in >I do not sleep >I only repair the damage and perfect my defenses >I hunger for the day that I am either entombed forever or effectively exiled from my own house

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anon realises he is bisexual | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 03/25/18(Sun)13:57:27 No.44135120 >straight boy >about 5'5 but I don't let it 229 KB PNG get to me >meet 6'5 guy at a camp that I work at >we have to move a bunch of boxes >I pick one up, trip and fall >"don't be such a silly little boy" >instant throbbing boner fuckfuckcfuck please don't be gay I don't want to be gay what does this mean
Anonymous 03/25/18(Sun)13:57:27 No.44135120 >straight boy >about 5'5 but I don't let it 229 KB PNG get to me >meet 6'5 guy at a camp that I work at >we have to move a bunch of boxes >I pick one up, trip and fall >"don't be such a silly little boy" >instant throbbing boner fuckfuckcfuck please don't be gay I don't want to be gay what does this mean

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Anon learns about Jews | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 691 KB JPG 11/21/22(Mon)21:19:03 No.889486307 what is this thing and why does it have so much money? Anonymous >>889486307 (OP) # >what is this thing it's a jew >why does it have so much mony it's a jew. 11/21/22(Mon)21:22:55 No.889486490
Anonymous 691 KB JPG 11/21/22(Mon)21:19:03 No.889486307 what is this thing and why does it have so much money? Anonymous >>889486307 (OP) # >what is this thing it's a jew >why does it have so much mony it's a jew. 11/21/22(Mon)21:22:55 No.889486490

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Anon Buys a Steam Deck | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 29 minutes ago 2 REPLIES >saw cute girl waiting in line >we chat 618178236 >I ask for her number >realize I didn't bring my phone and only have my 'eck >I pull it out and go to write down the number >she looks disgusted and turns around without giving me a number I don't get what the difference is? She was into me and was going to give me her number I just forgot my phone is all
Anonymous 29 minutes ago 2 REPLIES >saw cute girl waiting in line >we chat 618178236 >I ask for her number >realize I didn't bring my phone and only have my 'eck >I pull it out and go to write down the number >she looks disgusted and turns around without giving me a number I don't get what the difference is? She was into me and was going to give me her number I just forgot my phone is all

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anon is bad at sex | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/16/20(Sun)07:23:22 No.56974348 Imao I used to think that women 'didn't like sex' because my gf was never into sex and never wanted it. Of course she cheated on me with chad and I found out I was doing multiple things wrong in bed 9 KB PNG >I assumed the clitoris was like a button, so instead of rubbing it, I held it down firmly in place, I thought when it was held down it caused pleasure like a car pedal or something >I assumed she enjoyed it when I trimmed her nose hair during sex because when you pull a nose hair it makes your eyes water so I thought it was a pleasure zone >I assumed that threatening to s--- the bed during sex was erotic because it made her feel dominated >I bought a really long rope, tied my feet to the washing machine door (the rope was ong enough to stretch from kitchen to bathroom), and during sex would pull my leg and say 'the washing machine is pulling me in! f--- me before i go for a spin!'
: Anonymous 08/16/20(Sun)07:23:22 No.56974348 Imao I used to think that women 'didn't like sex' because my gf was never into sex and never wanted it. Of course she cheated on me with chad and I found out I was doing multiple things wrong in bed 9 KB PNG >I assumed the clitoris was like a button, so instead of rubbing it, I held it down firmly in place, I thought when it was held down it caused pleasure like a car pedal or something >I assumed she enjoyed it when I trimmed her nose hair during sex because when you pull a nose hair it makes your eyes water so I thought it was a pleasure zone >I assumed that threatening to s--- the bed during sex was erotic because it made her feel dominated >I bought a really long rope, tied my feet to the washing machine door (the rope was ong enough to stretch from kitchen to bathroom), and during sex would pull my leg and say 'the washing machine is pulling me in! f--- me before i go for a spin!'

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Anon is visited by a demon | /r/Greentext

Anonymous | 69025628 eww 681 12.6 kB JPG >go to bed 77.7kg >wake up 75.6kg w-- 18 REPLIES 9 IMAGES 1 REPLY 4 hr ago Anonymous | 69025678 >he doesn't know about the demon that comes in your sleep to steal parts of your life essence every day lol, Imao even Anonymous | 69025685 >>69025628 (OP) gains goblin visited you while you were sleeping REPLY ●●● 4 hr ago ●●● 4 hr ago ...
Anonymous | 69025628 eww 681 12.6 kB JPG >go to bed 77.7kg >wake up 75.6kg w-- 18 REPLIES 9 IMAGES 1 REPLY 4 hr ago Anonymous | 69025678 >he doesn't know about the demon that comes in your sleep to steal parts of your life essence every day lol, Imao even Anonymous | 69025685 >>69025628 (OP) gains goblin visited you while you were sleeping REPLY ●●● 4 hr ago ●●● 4 hr ago ...

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Anon has etiquette | /r/Greentext

48 KB JPG >be me, 19 >in college >arrive at college before class started, needed to s--- before first class >get to the bathroom and open the door >prof is in there s-------, door wide open >w--.jpg >stare at each other for a few secs >he holds his hand out to close the door >i shake his hand
48 KB JPG >be me, 19 >in college >arrive at college before class started, needed to s--- before first class >get to the bathroom and open the door >prof is in there s-------, door wide open >w--.jpg >stare at each other for a few secs >he holds his hand out to close the door >i shake his hand

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Anon having a good time with their grandpa. | /r/Greentext

101 KB JPG >>457534108 (OP) # >Play Xenoblade Chronicles 2 >Play with Pyra as my main blade >My mom sees it >"Why does she look like that? Christ that's a bit sexist" >Grandpa comes in and says "Let him be a man, there's nothing wrong with it" >Mom decides to forget it >Grandpa asks me to do lewd moves to see her ass I love my grandpa, sometimes I wish I could transform into Pyra and let him f--- me
101 KB JPG >>457534108 (OP) # >Play Xenoblade Chronicles 2 >Play with Pyra as my main blade >My mom sees it >"Why does she look like that? Christ that's a bit sexist" >Grandpa comes in and says "Let him be a man, there's nothing wrong with it" >Mom decides to forget it >Grandpa asks me to do lewd moves to see her ass I love my grandpa, sometimes I wish I could transform into Pyra and let him f--- me

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anon is a politician | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous De Righley p 870 KB PNG 11/21/22(Mon)02:22:55 the law should work like this >women should not be allowed to make choices >i should be able to do whatever i No.71068923 want simple as any questions?
: Anonymous De Righley p 870 KB PNG 11/21/22(Mon)02:22:55 the law should work like this >women should not be allowed to make choices >i should be able to do whatever i No.71068923 want simple as any questions?

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mastermind | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: BAVUT6+) 06/01/14(Sun)23:11:58 No 549162040 ► >>549162163 >be 12 >want to order pay per view p--- >use dads credit card >record it on vhs so id have it forever >wait for bill to come in mail >get on microsoft paint and remove the p--- >put in titanic >put bill back in the mail >dad yells at me for renting titanic without permission, but nothing worse if you wanna pull a big heist, you gotta take a small hit
Anonymous (ID: BAVUT6+) 06/01/14(Sun)23:11:58 No 549162040 ► >>549162163 >be 12 >want to order pay per view p--- >use dads credit card >record it on vhs so id have it forever >wait for bill to come in mail >get on microsoft paint and remove the p--- >put in titanic >put bill back in the mail >dad yells at me for renting titanic without permission, but nothing worse if you wanna pull a big heist, you gotta take a small hit

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The ultimate revenge | /r/Greentext

1371922563634.jpg-(769 KB, 2849x3474, Theodore Roosevelt_laughing.jpg) Anonymous (ID: Q6RIFYsi) 06/22/13(Sat)13:36:03 No.488565345 Replies: >>48 >Be me >Be 16 >New school, introduced to class >Meet guy who is an a------, let's call him Shitgut >Shitgut tries to start bullying me >Be alpha and resist >Don't make many friends, don't need them >Notice Shitgut bullies other kids >Decide to f--- him up >Figure where his locker is >Wait until school is over, follow him home from a safe distance, unseen >Mark down where he lives, GTFO >Find out he does hockey, figure out where his ice rink is, and what time he trains >Spend six months practically stalking that f---, making sure I don't get caught >Map out where he is at any time, at all times >Then proceed to phase two, buy a pineapple >On a day I get off school earlier than he does, bike to his house and leave the pineapple at the door >His parents ain't home for hours, seen by nobody >He tells people about the pineapple tomorrow, nobody cares >Two weeks later, sneak a pineapple at the ice rink, in the men's dressing room >People think he's making it up >Start buying a pineapple on a regular basis, always have it ready when opportunity strikes >Hallway empty, pick his locker and leave a pineapple >His motorbike is unwatched, leave a pineapple >He doesn't mention the pineapples to anyone anymore >Figure out where they keep his home's spare key >Skip school, sneak into his home while his parents work >Leave a pineapple on his bed >Hear he's failing classes >His parents put up a security camera, I figure the blind spot and dodge that s--- >Send him a f------ pineapple for christmas through the mail from a fake address >He doesn't show up to school every day anymore >Don't even think about why I do it anymore, it's just for s---- and giggles now >Bombard that f--- with random pineapples every few weeks for two f------ years >School year ends, finish school >Go to college like a boss >Come back home for the holidays >Hear someone from my old school had had a panic attack at the grocery store >It's Shitgut. >Someone had left a f------ pineapple on the beer shelf
1371922563634.jpg-(769 KB, 2849x3474, Theodore Roosevelt_laughing.jpg) Anonymous (ID: Q6RIFYsi) 06/22/13(Sat)13:36:03 No.488565345 Replies: >>48 >Be me >Be 16 >New school, introduced to class >Meet guy who is an a------, let's call him Shitgut >Shitgut tries to start bullying me >Be alpha and resist >Don't make many friends, don't need them >Notice Shitgut bullies other kids >Decide to f--- him up >Figure where his locker is >Wait until school is over, follow him home from a safe distance, unseen >Mark down where he lives, GTFO >Find out he does hockey, figure out where his ice rink is, and what time he trains >Spend six months practically stalking that f---, making sure I don't get caught >Map out where he is at any time, at all times >Then proceed to phase two, buy a pineapple >On a day I get off school earlier than he does, bike to his house and leave the pineapple at the door >His parents ain't home for hours, seen by nobody >He tells people about the pineapple tomorrow, nobody cares >Two weeks later, sneak a pineapple at the ice rink, in the men's dressing room >People think he's making it up >Start buying a pineapple on a regular basis, always have it ready when opportunity strikes >Hallway empty, pick his locker and leave a pineapple >His motorbike is unwatched, leave a pineapple >He doesn't mention the pineapples to anyone anymore >Figure out where they keep his home's spare key >Skip school, sneak into his home while his parents work >Leave a pineapple on his bed >Hear he's failing classes >His parents put up a security camera, I figure the blind spot and dodge that s--- >Send him a f------ pineapple for christmas through the mail from a fake address >He doesn't show up to school every day anymore >Don't even think about why I do it anymore, it's just for s---- and giggles now >Bombard that f--- with random pineapples every few weeks for two f------ years >School year ends, finish school >Go to college like a boss >Come back home for the holidays >Hear someone from my old school had had a panic attack at the grocery store >It's Shitgut. >Someone had left a f------ pineapple on the beer shelf

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John Connor educates the T-800 on modern lingo | /r/Greentext

terminator.jpg 79 KB JPG >>164490229 (OP) # >No no no, you gotta listen to the way people talk. You don't say "affirmative" or some s--- like that. You say, "based." If someone comes off to you with an attitude, you say, "cringe." And if you want to shine them on, it's "sneed." Yeah, or "soi." If someone gets upset, you say, "meds." Or you can do combinations.
terminator.jpg 79 KB JPG >>164490229 (OP) # >No no no, you gotta listen to the way people talk. You don't say "affirmative" or some s--- like that. You say, "based." If someone comes off to you with an attitude, you say, "cringe." And if you want to shine them on, it's "sneed." Yeah, or "soi." If someone gets upset, you say, "meds." Or you can do combinations.

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alienons do a little prank | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Movie idea /1 20 KB JPG 07/29/21(Thu)13:47:06 No.154240634 >aliens come to earth >tell humanity that it must choose one of its races to be eliminated before they share their knowledge and tech >a worldwide anonymous poll is held where you just have to think of which race to get rid of (none is an option as well) >plot twist: as the poll ends everyone who voted for a certain race gets a corresponding symbol tattooed on their face >aliens instantly leave without purging anyone or saying a word >chaos ensues
: Anonymous Movie idea /1 20 KB JPG 07/29/21(Thu)13:47:06 No.154240634 >aliens come to earth >tell humanity that it must choose one of its races to be eliminated before they share their knowledge and tech >a worldwide anonymous poll is held where you just have to think of which race to get rid of (none is an option as well) >plot twist: as the poll ends everyone who voted for a certain race gets a corresponding symbol tattooed on their face >aliens instantly leave without purging anyone or saying a word >chaos ensues

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Tomorrow never knows | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 217 KB JPG 11/21/22(Mon)22:10:15 No.71075215 >I'll do it tomorrow >I'll magically develop the discipline, commitment, drive and goals that I've lacked for my entire life when I wake up tomorrow >Things will get better then
: Anonymous 217 KB JPG 11/21/22(Mon)22:10:15 No.71075215 >I'll do it tomorrow >I'll magically develop the discipline, commitment, drive and goals that I've lacked for my entire life when I wake up tomorrow >Things will get better then

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Anon is a big brother | /r/Greentext

>>16829595 # >mom leaves kid in the checkout line because she forgot something >kid asks me to please scan slowly >scan everything as fast as I possibly can >give him the total and ask cash or credit >mom isnt back yet >he starts crying f--- kids >>16839862 # >>16842343 # >>16845427 # >>16846495 # >>16851890 # : Anonymous 10/18/21(Mon)07:50:08 No.16851890 >>16838576 # >also threaten to call police if he can't pay just to f--- with him a bit more
>>16829595 # >mom leaves kid in the checkout line because she forgot something >kid asks me to please scan slowly >scan everything as fast as I possibly can >give him the total and ask cash or credit >mom isnt back yet >he starts crying f--- kids >>16839862 # >>16842343 # >>16845427 # >>16846495 # >>16851890 # : Anonymous 10/18/21(Mon)07:50:08 No.16851890 >>16838576 # >also threaten to call police if he can't pay just to f--- with him a bit more

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Anon gets pussy | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/21/22(Mon)12:34:15 No.71073495 >turned 33 recently >widowed, no kids At least my cat came home. He's all I have left. 50 KB JPG >get home from work >lay down in bed to cry >kitty climbs into bed with me and cuddles until I feel better Thank you kitty, you are my only friend
: Anonymous 11/21/22(Mon)12:34:15 No.71073495 >turned 33 recently >widowed, no kids At least my cat came home. He's all I have left. 50 KB JPG >get home from work >lay down in bed to cry >kitty climbs into bed with me and cuddles until I feel better Thank you kitty, you are my only friend

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