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Anon wants a gore thread | /r/Greentext

38m (2/16 20:56) · 872827246 2 Re · 0 Img · PNG 8KB (227 × 222) 1 Reply I DONT SEE ANY GORE THREADS TONIGHT INEEDGORE 10m (2/16 21:25) · 872828770 you are mentally deranged 8m (2/16 21:26) · 872828858 >>872827246 (OP) Cut your d--- off. Film it. Watch the video. >There's your gore. >Now f--- off, retard. •..
38m (2/16 20:56) · 872827246 2 Re · 0 Img · PNG 8KB (227 × 222) 1 Reply I DONT SEE ANY GORE THREADS TONIGHT INEEDGORE 10m (2/16 21:25) · 872828770 you are mentally deranged 8m (2/16 21:26) · 872828858 >>872827246 (OP) Cut your d--- off. Film it. Watch the video. >There's your gore. >Now f--- off, retard. •..

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wholesome momkey | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/16/22(Wed)15:31:30 No.67454105 >be me, 6 years old >mom brings me to zoo >autistic obsession with monkes, spend the whole time at the primate exhibit >on the way out, see a stand selling picrelated 23 KB JPG >beg, scream, and cry until my mom finally caves in >euphoric.png >tfw now have the coolest most based f------ hat in the entire planet >happiest day of my entire life, never forget 12 years later she's dead and i still have the monke hat somewhere in a box out in my garage. i don't have the heart to get rid of it and if i ever have kids im going to give it to them. i love you and i miss you mom, im so sorry for everything
: Anonymous 02/16/22(Wed)15:31:30 No.67454105 >be me, 6 years old >mom brings me to zoo >autistic obsession with monkes, spend the whole time at the primate exhibit >on the way out, see a stand selling picrelated 23 KB JPG >beg, scream, and cry until my mom finally caves in >euphoric.png >tfw now have the coolest most based f------ hat in the entire planet >happiest day of my entire life, never forget 12 years later she's dead and i still have the monke hat somewhere in a box out in my garage. i don't have the heart to get rid of it and if i ever have kids im going to give it to them. i love you and i miss you mom, im so sorry for everything

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Goldfish pond | /r/Greentext

>be me >in college >talking to qt3.14 >run out of topics >panicensues.gif >decide to lie to keep FEEL TEAM SIX 46 KB JPG conversation going >tell her I have a goldfish pond in my backyard >wutdafuqm8.jpg >"That's so cool, you think I could come see it sometime?" >howdidthatwork.png >exchange numbers, realize what I've done >go home and promptly dig a goldfish pond and fill it with water >get necessary items from pet store (filter, plants, goldfish, etc.) >pond is f------ amazing >go to contact girl >girl never responds to my calls/texts >3 years later I'm still taking care of 14 goldfish in my back yard >one has had babies and two more are pregnant >mfw the goldfish are having more sex than me
>be me >in college >talking to qt3.14 >run out of topics >panicensues.gif >decide to lie to keep FEEL TEAM SIX 46 KB JPG conversation going >tell her I have a goldfish pond in my backyard >wutdafuqm8.jpg >"That's so cool, you think I could come see it sometime?" >howdidthatwork.png >exchange numbers, realize what I've done >go home and promptly dig a goldfish pond and fill it with water >get necessary items from pet store (filter, plants, goldfish, etc.) >pond is f------ amazing >go to contact girl >girl never responds to my calls/texts >3 years later I'm still taking care of 14 goldfish in my back yard >one has had babies and two more are pregnant >mfw the goldfish are having more sex than me

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Anon isn't a virgin | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/16/22(Wed)17:26:08 No.872814190 >be me >early 30s >never laid >attended family gathering a few days ago >cousin I've never met invites me to go to a nightclub with him >never been to one 105 KB PNG >meet an 8/10 within half an hour of entering >socialize just fine >we go back to my place and f--- like crazy >mfw nobody told me g----------- was so easy >mfw l've been a virgin for over 30 years because you idiots gave me impostor syndrome
: Anonymous 02/16/22(Wed)17:26:08 No.872814190 >be me >early 30s >never laid >attended family gathering a few days ago >cousin I've never met invites me to go to a nightclub with him >never been to one 105 KB PNG >meet an 8/10 within half an hour of entering >socialize just fine >we go back to my place and f--- like crazy >mfw nobody told me g----------- was so easy >mfw l've been a virgin for over 30 years because you idiots gave me impostor syndrome

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Anon describes his favorite hero | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/16/22(Wed)18:36:44 No.872808625 >rejects usual scientologist billionaire bs >refuses to give money to the poor >lives in a cave >dresses up with an armored furry suit >drives a tank at 200mph on residential areas 210 KB JPG >beats up people with mental illness f------ gigachad
: Anonymous 02/16/22(Wed)18:36:44 No.872808625 >rejects usual scientologist billionaire bs >refuses to give money to the poor >lives in a cave >dresses up with an armored furry suit >drives a tank at 200mph on residential areas 210 KB JPG >beats up people with mental illness f------ gigachad

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Anon ascends | /r/Greentext

I finally got a job, had a sexual relationship, and made real friends. Started lifting, quit smoking and went outside for the first time in 3 years. Started doing animation in my free time, instead of endlessly grinding in POE. I dare to say I made it, and now I realized, How f------ weird you guys are. Wish you luck fellow robots, for l'm never coming to this god forsaken place 70 KB JPG ever again.
I finally got a job, had a sexual relationship, and made real friends. Started lifting, quit smoking and went outside for the first time in 3 years. Started doing animation in my free time, instead of endlessly grinding in POE. I dare to say I made it, and now I realized, How f------ weird you guys are. Wish you luck fellow robots, for l'm never coming to this god forsaken place 70 KB JPG ever again.

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Anon is British | /r/Greentext

Typical everyday average British morning: >wake up >bobby knocks on door >"oi! open up you cheeky bastard and show me your 47 KB JPG sleeping licence!" >fumble around and finally find my licence >"s-sorry good sir. It's right here.. God save the Queen." >bobby peers in and catches a glimpse of me telly >"halt! where's your TV licence you c---?!" >"draw TV licence from me wallet" >bobby gives a look like the bloody Queen's dodger >"oi mate! where's your permit for this licence?" >show him my licence permit >"this licence permit is expired. I'm taking you in!" >bobby draws his toy gun >stab him with my unregistered butterknife
Typical everyday average British morning: >wake up >bobby knocks on door >"oi! open up you cheeky bastard and show me your 47 KB JPG sleeping licence!" >fumble around and finally find my licence >"s-sorry good sir. It's right here.. God save the Queen." >bobby peers in and catches a glimpse of me telly >"halt! where's your TV licence you c---?!" >"draw TV licence from me wallet" >bobby gives a look like the bloody Queen's dodger >"oi mate! where's your permit for this licence?" >show him my licence permit >"this licence permit is expired. I'm taking you in!" >bobby draws his toy gun >stab him with my unregistered butterknife

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Damnit Anon | /r/Greentext

Anonymous | 782627019 37 min ago >be me >you have small d--- now 33.0 kB JPG 1 REPLY O IMAGES REPLY
Anonymous | 782627019 37 min ago >be me >you have small d--- now 33.0 kB JPG 1 REPLY O IMAGES REPLY

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Anon is a pedo | /r/Greentext

Anonymous | 48980327 3 min. ago •.. >be me >went to my cousin's house to sleep there for a week as I'm in vacation >she's a 9 year old cutie, a very smart girl but sly as a fox >her mom is a teacher with lots of work to do and her father is non-existent so we 8.4 kB JPG spend most of our time alone you probably know where this is going >l'm a shy and super awkward guy unable to say "no" so she takes advantage of this and starts playing me >go through one week of taunting and teasing, being locked in a chest freezer, being kicked in the balls, being farted at, being mocked and ordered around, and listening to my cousin talking about how my face apparently looks like her p---- >l pretend to be bothered but I secretly enjoy it >be last night >get drunk, become a completely different person >get the urge to grope her ass >grope her ass >mfw she punches me in the face instead >mfw she tells her mother >mfw her mother tells my parents >mfw being belted by my father at age 19 1 REPLY 1 IMAGE REPLY Anonymous 48980355 O min. ago ... >>48980327 (OP) What in the f------ f--- is wrong with you 28.7 kB JPG
Anonymous | 48980327 3 min. ago •.. >be me >went to my cousin's house to sleep there for a week as I'm in vacation >she's a 9 year old cutie, a very smart girl but sly as a fox >her mom is a teacher with lots of work to do and her father is non-existent so we 8.4 kB JPG spend most of our time alone you probably know where this is going >l'm a shy and super awkward guy unable to say "no" so she takes advantage of this and starts playing me >go through one week of taunting and teasing, being locked in a chest freezer, being kicked in the balls, being farted at, being mocked and ordered around, and listening to my cousin talking about how my face apparently looks like her p---- >l pretend to be bothered but I secretly enjoy it >be last night >get drunk, become a completely different person >get the urge to grope her ass >grope her ass >mfw she punches me in the face instead >mfw she tells her mother >mfw her mother tells my parents >mfw being belted by my father at age 19 1 REPLY 1 IMAGE REPLY Anonymous 48980355 O min. ago ... >>48980327 (OP) What in the f------ f--- is wrong with you 28.7 kB JPG

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Anon on Tinder. | /r/Greentext

>be me >18 y/o KV >go on Tinder >no matches so far >see my old middle school teacher >F50 134 KB PNG >hot for her age >swipe right >we match >wat.jpg What do I do, lads?
>be me >18 y/o KV >go on Tinder >no matches so far >see my old middle school teacher >F50 134 KB PNG >hot for her age >swipe right >we match >wat.jpg What do I do, lads?

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Anon gets cucked royally | /r/Greentext


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Anon doesn’t care | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: W5LVJQ2V ) E Someone please explain to me 05/16/21(Sun)13:00:47 No.321859706 The Palestine X Israel conflict like im 5yo 188 KB JPG : Anonymous (ID: GY0215U1 ) 05/16/21(Sun)13:02:06 No.321859883 1601717005308.gif 24 KB GIF >>321859706 (OP) # not your problem >>321861165 # >>321864751 # >>321868464 # >>321871645 # >>321872382 # >>321873368 # >>321874044 # >>321874045 # >>321876078 # >>321881125 # >>321887329 # >>321890085 # >>321891701 #
: Anonymous (ID: W5LVJQ2V ) E Someone please explain to me 05/16/21(Sun)13:00:47 No.321859706 The Palestine X Israel conflict like im 5yo 188 KB JPG : Anonymous (ID: GY0215U1 ) 05/16/21(Sun)13:02:06 No.321859883 1601717005308.gif 24 KB GIF >>321859706 (OP) # not your problem >>321861165 # >>321864751 # >>321868464 # >>321871645 # >>321872382 # >>321873368 # >>321874044 # >>321874045 # >>321876078 # >>321881125 # >>321887329 # >>321890085 # >>321891701 #

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Anons boyfriend takes a piss | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/16/22(Wed)05:33:38 No.67445940 >out on a snow trip with friends >boyfriend needs to pee >he just pulls out his d--- and begins pissing while a friend is still with us >she is jokingly cheering him on >tell boyfriend he's being inappropriate and shouldn't be showing his privates 1.2 MB GIF to another girl >boyfriend says it's cold out so it's not like she gets to see it in fully glory, "if anything she's going to think I have a small d---" 16 Replies / 3 Images View Thread
: Anonymous 02/16/22(Wed)05:33:38 No.67445940 >out on a snow trip with friends >boyfriend needs to pee >he just pulls out his d--- and begins pissing while a friend is still with us >she is jokingly cheering him on >tell boyfriend he's being inappropriate and shouldn't be showing his privates 1.2 MB GIF to another girl >boyfriend says it's cold out so it's not like she gets to see it in fully glory, "if anything she's going to think I have a small d---" 16 Replies / 3 Images View Thread

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Anon isn’t American | /r/Greentext

>be today >be Australian >Woke up sick >Call work to let them know I can't come in >"Yeahnoworries.mate" 9 KB PNG >contact local GP >Appointment free and same day because subsidised social healthcare >Paid sick leave because strong labour movement that guarantees working rights >Now nobody at work will catch my cold. >Food for customers not contaminated by my cold. >Company doesn't lose money because my sick leave is government subsidised >All bills continue to be paid on time, my day is stress-free because I have time to relax and recover. Today is yet another day l'm glad I'm not an American.
>be today >be Australian >Woke up sick >Call work to let them know I can't come in >"Yeahnoworries.mate" 9 KB PNG >contact local GP >Appointment free and same day because subsidised social healthcare >Paid sick leave because strong labour movement that guarantees working rights >Now nobody at work will catch my cold. >Food for customers not contaminated by my cold. >Company doesn't lose money because my sick leave is government subsidised >All bills continue to be paid on time, my day is stress-free because I have time to relax and recover. Today is yet another day l'm glad I'm not an American.

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Anon's are devious. | /r/Greentext


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Anon gets a kiss | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/28/18(Sun)11:17:33 No.783478413 >be me, 17 >lean in to kiss a girl >she doesn't resist and we kiss >best feeling in the world >be me now, 5 years later >still j------- to that 96 KB JPG View Thread
: Anonymous 10/28/18(Sun)11:17:33 No.783478413 >be me, 17 >lean in to kiss a girl >she doesn't resist and we kiss >best feeling in the world >be me now, 5 years later >still j------- to that 96 KB JPG View Thread

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Anon is a philosopher | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/06/21 (Mon)14:07:08 No.65281967 >obtained my philosophy degree over a year ago >the only questions I'm asked is "when are you gonna get a job?" 104 KB PNG : Anonymous 09/06/21(Mon)14:08:05 No.65281982 >>65281967 (OP) # >>obtained my philosophy degree over a year ago McDonald's is urgently hiring now, and they're the biggest employer in your field.
: Anonymous 09/06/21 (Mon)14:07:08 No.65281967 >obtained my philosophy degree over a year ago >the only questions I'm asked is "when are you gonna get a job?" 104 KB PNG : Anonymous 09/06/21(Mon)14:08:05 No.65281982 >>65281967 (OP) # >>obtained my philosophy degree over a year ago McDonald's is urgently hiring now, and they're the biggest employer in your field.

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Anon loses his virginity | /r/Greentext


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Anon hates the normies | /r/Greentext


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Anon goes to school | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: WW503DHF) 02/21/18(Wed)21:07:20 No.16142413C >be American high school student >2019 >multiple school shootings a day >every teacher is now armed >veterans patrol the halls on mobility scooters with built in mini-guns >in Algebra 2 >teacher is handing out the quiz, her full body armor jostling around >reach into my backpack to take out my calculator >her M16 is already trained on me >"ANON DON'T F------ MOVE" >"I-I need my calculator" >"THIS IS A NO CALCULATOR QUIZ WHAT THE F--- ARE YOU REACHING FOR" >"I-I thought we could use calculators" >"YOU THOUGHT WRONG" >tense pause >she lowers her weapon >school shooter takes this opportunity to snipe her from the back of the class >her blood and brains splatters all over my face >second school shooter wheels around in the front with a shotgun, takes aim at the first shooter because he doesn't want to share the headlines >try to run for the door >veteran mobility scooter unit flies in and tears me to shreds firing 6k rounds a minute >die happy knowing that I'm still freer than Europoors >family gets charged 10 mil for my medical expenses (plus tip)
: Anonymous (ID: WW503DHF) 02/21/18(Wed)21:07:20 No.16142413C >be American high school student >2019 >multiple school shootings a day >every teacher is now armed >veterans patrol the halls on mobility scooters with built in mini-guns >in Algebra 2 >teacher is handing out the quiz, her full body armor jostling around >reach into my backpack to take out my calculator >her M16 is already trained on me >"ANON DON'T F------ MOVE" >"I-I need my calculator" >"THIS IS A NO CALCULATOR QUIZ WHAT THE F--- ARE YOU REACHING FOR" >"I-I thought we could use calculators" >"YOU THOUGHT WRONG" >tense pause >she lowers her weapon >school shooter takes this opportunity to snipe her from the back of the class >her blood and brains splatters all over my face >second school shooter wheels around in the front with a shotgun, takes aim at the first shooter because he doesn't want to share the headlines >try to run for the door >veteran mobility scooter unit flies in and tears me to shreds firing 6k rounds a minute >die happy knowing that I'm still freer than Europoors >family gets charged 10 mil for my medical expenses (plus tip)

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