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Always be Prepared


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Foolproof Serial Killer Plan


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Bread Inexorable
![File: IMG 8325-Version-2-1 ipg (81 KB, 549x366) Anonymous 03/09/15(Mon)09:34:36 No.602668487 [Reply] >>60266875622602669012 be me >be poorfag >be bicycling home from grocery shopping >carrying a bag of sliced bread in my hand since I didn't want to squish it into my backpack >some douchebag passes by me on a bicycle it's on >pedal faster and stay right behind this a------ >a thought starts to form swhat if I pass by him and swing my bread to hit him in the back of the head? >think, "What would /b/ do?" >do it f----- >douchebag turns around and is surprised to see me on his tail >he books it snu-uh >l am determined >he turns around again >I'm still on his tail >l am clearly matching my speed to his >he gets a little freaked out >l yell, "I'm gonna whack your head with this bread, bitch!" >douchebag turns his head around, "What!?" sdouchebag hits a fairly big branch in the road and crashes oh s--- snot how I planned this to go >stop my bike and run towards him, still carrying my bread >swing as hard as I can and smack him right in the face srun back to my bike and book it](https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/masonry/001/251/079/df4.jpg)
![File: IMG 8325-Version-2-1 ipg (81 KB, 549x366) Anonymous 03/09/15(Mon)09:34:36 No.602668487 [Reply] >>60266875622602669012 be me >be poorfag >be bicycling home from grocery shopping >carrying a bag of sliced bread in my hand since I didn't want to squish it into my backpack >some douchebag passes by me on a bicycle it's on >pedal faster and stay right behind this a------ >a thought starts to form swhat if I pass by him and swing my bread to hit him in the back of the head? >think, "What would /b/ do?" >do it f----- >douchebag turns around and is surprised to see me on his tail >he books it snu-uh >l am determined >he turns around again >I'm still on his tail >l am clearly matching my speed to his >he gets a little freaked out >l yell, "I'm gonna whack your head with this bread, bitch!" >douchebag turns his head around, "What!?" sdouchebag hits a fairly big branch in the road and crashes oh s--- snot how I planned this to go >stop my bike and run towards him, still carrying my bread >swing as hard as I can and smack him right in the face srun back to my bike and book it](https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/001/251/079/df4.jpg)
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Raised by 4chan
![File: 1391724376420.png-(139 KB, 600x301, thumb_8027-1373996494.png) [] Anonymous 02/06/14(Thu)14:06:16 UTC-8 No. 531132589 TT: Work stories >work at furniture warehouse load furniture into cars for costumers that come in for pick up >guy comes in for couch >after couch is loaded I see his order form >says his name is Dubs Checkum >last two digits of order are 38 >"Nice roll f-----" >say it as boss walks by >boss walks over to customer and asks if everything is okay >customer is laughing so hard nearly s---- his pants proceeds to give me the best review of my life >boss is so impressed i get a promotion >mfw I got a promotion for calling a customer a f----- >mfw I now make more money because of 4chan](https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/masonry/001/245/153/0c9.jpg)
![File: 1391724376420.png-(139 KB, 600x301, thumb_8027-1373996494.png) [] Anonymous 02/06/14(Thu)14:06:16 UTC-8 No. 531132589 TT: Work stories >work at furniture warehouse load furniture into cars for costumers that come in for pick up >guy comes in for couch >after couch is loaded I see his order form >says his name is Dubs Checkum >last two digits of order are 38 >"Nice roll f-----" >say it as boss walks by >boss walks over to customer and asks if everything is okay >customer is laughing so hard nearly s---- his pants proceeds to give me the best review of my life >boss is so impressed i get a promotion >mfw I got a promotion for calling a customer a f----- >mfw I now make more money because of 4chan](https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/001/245/153/0c9.jpg)
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No Stopping The Tickle Train


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The Perks of Being a Wall Farter
![File: 1347909162181 ipg-(28 KB, 500x435, sad _dad[1].jpg) 器 Fart greentexts-General Anonymous 09/17/12(Mon) 15:12:42 No.3798017 Replies: 223798046 have to sleep at parents' house have bedroom right next to parents' bedroom only separated by a thin, wooden wall midnight >can't sleep stand up and go to the wall between our bedrooms press asscheeks against the wall the fart begins as a low murmur kicks into overdrive and blasts my entire ass-crescendo all over the wall and into the other room swiftly leap into bed just as dad opens my door and peeks in >thinks i'm still asleep eaves jump up and violate the wall again the ass-blast is so powerful, the ring of my a------ practically drums against the wal >hear dad come and pretend to be asleep again run up to the wall when he's gone asscheeks spread all over the damp spot on the wall and preparing to unleash another nuclear holocaust >JC IT'S A BOMEB suddenly, see dad leap into my room right in the middle of my brain-shattering assplosion >his face when](https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/masonry/001/241/396/051.jpg)
![File: 1347909162181 ipg-(28 KB, 500x435, sad _dad[1].jpg) 器 Fart greentexts-General Anonymous 09/17/12(Mon) 15:12:42 No.3798017 Replies: 223798046 have to sleep at parents' house have bedroom right next to parents' bedroom only separated by a thin, wooden wall midnight >can't sleep stand up and go to the wall between our bedrooms press asscheeks against the wall the fart begins as a low murmur kicks into overdrive and blasts my entire ass-crescendo all over the wall and into the other room swiftly leap into bed just as dad opens my door and peeks in >thinks i'm still asleep eaves jump up and violate the wall again the ass-blast is so powerful, the ring of my a------ practically drums against the wal >hear dad come and pretend to be asleep again run up to the wall when he's gone asscheeks spread all over the damp spot on the wall and preparing to unleash another nuclear holocaust >JC IT'S A BOMEB suddenly, see dad leap into my room right in the middle of my brain-shattering assplosion >his face when](https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/001/241/396/051.jpg)
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