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Patient Zero | /r/Greentext

06/12/22(Sun)10:21:57 No.69014565 I used to give a damn Now >go to a therapist >tell her for the past year at my job i've been doing the bare minimum while also sabotaging my coworkers chances of getting raises and promotions, intentionally I don't even give a F---!!! 81 KB JPG >she asks why i do this >tell her it's not enough for me to get my for doing the bare minimum, i need to see these guys who were hired at the same time as me fail miserably for trying to outdo me >she tells me she will be inviting over two of her psychologist friends next visit for a case study : Anonymous
06/12/22(Sun)10:21:57 No.69014565 I used to give a damn Now >go to a therapist >tell her for the past year at my job i've been doing the bare minimum while also sabotaging my coworkers chances of getting raises and promotions, intentionally I don't even give a F---!!! 81 KB JPG >she asks why i do this >tell her it's not enough for me to get my for doing the bare minimum, i need to see these guys who were hired at the same time as me fail miserably for trying to outdo me >she tells me she will be inviting over two of her psychologist friends next visit for a case study : Anonymous

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Truely free | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/27/21(Thu)01:13:33 No.855415179 kek >be me >be 3 >go to preschool but dont want to work >pretend im a dog >even bring dog treats and eat them >crawl around on all fours on the tables and bark at kids >some kids are scared, some kids are p-----, some kids start petting me and saying "good boy" >teacher tries to get me to work >like hell im gluing pictures of nemo to construction paper >start barking louder >multiple teachers come in to try to talk to me >start growling >one tries to comfort me and reaches out >bite that c---- finger with all my might >she screams and runs away >run on all fours to a cabinet and hide as i victoriously nibble on scooby snacks >they call my mom to come get me >i go with her and we drive home Call me autistic, retarded even, but that day I was truly free
: Anonymous 05/27/21(Thu)01:13:33 No.855415179 kek >be me >be 3 >go to preschool but dont want to work >pretend im a dog >even bring dog treats and eat them >crawl around on all fours on the tables and bark at kids >some kids are scared, some kids are p-----, some kids start petting me and saying "good boy" >teacher tries to get me to work >like hell im gluing pictures of nemo to construction paper >start barking louder >multiple teachers come in to try to talk to me >start growling >one tries to comfort me and reaches out >bite that c---- finger with all my might >she screams and runs away >run on all fours to a cabinet and hide as i victoriously nibble on scooby snacks >they call my mom to come get me >i go with her and we drive home Call me autistic, retarded even, but that day I was truly free

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anon peaked in elementary | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Peaking in elementary Did anyone else peak in elementary go's school? >be me >not shortest kid in school >friends were so easy to make >no insecurities 32 KB JPG >no such things as cliques >athletic, could run a lot >smart, could easily spell a lot of words. >confident Anonymous >generally happy >excited to wake up in the morning Yeah I think peaked in elementary school 06/12/22(Sun)18:05:13 No.69019297 06/12/22(Sun)18:09:27 No.69019350
: Anonymous Peaking in elementary Did anyone else peak in elementary go's school? >be me >not shortest kid in school >friends were so easy to make >no insecurities 32 KB JPG >no such things as cliques >athletic, could run a lot >smart, could easily spell a lot of words. >confident Anonymous >generally happy >excited to wake up in the morning Yeah I think peaked in elementary school 06/12/22(Sun)18:05:13 No.69019297 06/12/22(Sun)18:09:27 No.69019350

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Anon is malebrained | /r/Greentext

1h (5/23 10:05) 20676809 : 18 Re 3 Img JPG 1MB (1072 × 1683) 7 Replies Why are tranners so emotional? >three days ago, I asked my tranner gf to marry me while we're in our room >kind of looks like pic related, but a 3D human bean >"Yes! Yes, yes, yes!" >buries her face in the pillow, overcome with emotion, squeals like a pig while kicking her feet up and down >cries on and off out of happiness the rest of the night >yesterday morning, after I first wake up, I hear her singing a song to herself while cooking me breakfast >"I'm gonna be his wife, I'm gonna be his wife, I'm gonna be his wife, I'm gonna be his wife" Maybe I'm autistic or malebrained or both, but such a strong emotional response is fairly surprising. It should have been obvious for quite some time that I wanted marriage and was going to propose eventually.
1h (5/23 10:05) 20676809 : 18 Re 3 Img JPG 1MB (1072 × 1683) 7 Replies Why are tranners so emotional? >three days ago, I asked my tranner gf to marry me while we're in our room >kind of looks like pic related, but a 3D human bean >"Yes! Yes, yes, yes!" >buries her face in the pillow, overcome with emotion, squeals like a pig while kicking her feet up and down >cries on and off out of happiness the rest of the night >yesterday morning, after I first wake up, I hear her singing a song to herself while cooking me breakfast >"I'm gonna be his wife, I'm gonna be his wife, I'm gonna be his wife, I'm gonna be his wife" Maybe I'm autistic or malebrained or both, but such a strong emotional response is fairly surprising. It should have been obvious for quite some time that I wanted marriage and was going to propose eventually.

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Anon goes to Alaska | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 06/03/19(Mon)03:33:29 No.52729584 >be me >20 and just got license >go on road trip across canada >end up in alaska 609 KB PNG >stop at tourist place that lets you rent gold pans and pan for gold in their river >they let you keep whatever you find >spend an hour and a half and get nothing >not a single speck >go back in and turn in the pan >owner asks me if I need a container for my gold, I tell him I didn't find anything >about to leave when an older gentleman who was out there with me taps my shoulder >"here son" >hands me small glass vial with a few tiny nuggets >smile at this nice gesture and leave slightly happier than when I arrived Thanks for the gold, kind stranger
Anonymous 06/03/19(Mon)03:33:29 No.52729584 >be me >20 and just got license >go on road trip across canada >end up in alaska 609 KB PNG >stop at tourist place that lets you rent gold pans and pan for gold in their river >they let you keep whatever you find >spend an hour and a half and get nothing >not a single speck >go back in and turn in the pan >owner asks me if I need a container for my gold, I tell him I didn't find anything >about to leave when an older gentleman who was out there with me taps my shoulder >"here son" >hands me small glass vial with a few tiny nuggets >smile at this nice gesture and leave slightly happier than when I arrived Thanks for the gold, kind stranger

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Anon on rent | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 06/12/22(Sun)12:51:10 No.69012777 >live with parents saving money on rent >parents get grouchy asking me to move out >you're a grown man yada yada >move out for a year and visit on weekends regularly 73 KB PNG >parents want me back >why are you paying so much in rent? >you could be saving for a house please come back anon >mfw 2 Replies : Anonymous >>69012777 (OP) # grass is always greener don't know what you have until its gone boomers gonna boom etc View Thread 06/12/22(Sun)12:54:03 No.69012796
Anonymous 06/12/22(Sun)12:51:10 No.69012777 >live with parents saving money on rent >parents get grouchy asking me to move out >you're a grown man yada yada >move out for a year and visit on weekends regularly 73 KB PNG >parents want me back >why are you paying so much in rent? >you could be saving for a house please come back anon >mfw 2 Replies : Anonymous >>69012777 (OP) # grass is always greener don't know what you have until its gone boomers gonna boom etc View Thread 06/12/22(Sun)12:54:03 No.69012796

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Anon is passing | /r/Greentext

Guys be honest, how badly did I f--- up >Be me, literally 20 minutes ago >Taking some summer courses at a local community college 69 KB JPG >The class is easy so I don't give too much of a f--- about it, however a lot of the other students are struggling with it for whatever reason >One of these students is a dude with severe stuttering, let's call him Chad >From what I can gather, Chad's kind of a c--- but everyone in the class loves him because he's charismatic and good looking >I am not an attractive man and I like to mind my business in class, so people generally tend to think that I'm actually retarded or that I'm just some weirdo >At some point during the semester, Chad starts to f--- with me a little >He'd make snide comments or start trouble with me in class >It never really bothered me, until early today when he decided to turn it up a notch >At this point he is openly mocking me and trying to embarrass me >I'm quiet, but I'm no bitch so I tell him to f--- right off >I tell him "At least I'm not barely passing the class like some retard." >"S-s-speak for yourself b-bro." >"At least I can."
Guys be honest, how badly did I f--- up >Be me, literally 20 minutes ago >Taking some summer courses at a local community college 69 KB JPG >The class is easy so I don't give too much of a f--- about it, however a lot of the other students are struggling with it for whatever reason >One of these students is a dude with severe stuttering, let's call him Chad >From what I can gather, Chad's kind of a c--- but everyone in the class loves him because he's charismatic and good looking >I am not an attractive man and I like to mind my business in class, so people generally tend to think that I'm actually retarded or that I'm just some weirdo >At some point during the semester, Chad starts to f--- with me a little >He'd make snide comments or start trouble with me in class >It never really bothered me, until early today when he decided to turn it up a notch >At this point he is openly mocking me and trying to embarrass me >I'm quiet, but I'm no bitch so I tell him to f--- right off >I tell him "At least I'm not barely passing the class like some retard." >"S-s-speak for yourself b-bro." >"At least I can."

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He didn't have an AR-15 | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/10/22(Fri)03:56:21 No.169362494 >spell that can instantly kill anyone >abra kadabra hack writing 101 KB JPG : Anonymous 06/10/22(Fri)03:57:54 No.169362555 >>169362494 (OP) # >most powerful evilest wizard of all time >can't takeover a public school >>169369810 # >>169372369 # >>169372456 # >>169374229 # >>169385087 #
: Anonymous 06/10/22(Fri)03:56:21 No.169362494 >spell that can instantly kill anyone >abra kadabra hack writing 101 KB JPG : Anonymous 06/10/22(Fri)03:57:54 No.169362555 >>169362494 (OP) # >most powerful evilest wizard of all time >can't takeover a public school >>169369810 # >>169372369 # >>169372456 # >>169374229 # >>169385087 #

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Anon is a fatass | /r/Greentext

10/27/19(Sun)22:25:39 No.81274854 Anonymous >go eat at local pizza place >eat entire large peperoni pizza >still hungry >Too embarassed to order more cause qt cashier will think I'm a f------ fatass CAMP 6 KB JPG >pretend go get a call from friend >stage an entire 3 minute conversation >end call asking him if he wants anything from the pizza place >order another pizza to go for "friend" >proceed to devour the pizza in my car >cashier walks up to my car with my backpack >sees i'm halfway done with my "friends" pizza >"you forgot your backpack" >I smile and nod with my mouth full >she f------ giggles and walks away F------ bitch I've never been this embarassed in my life. I can never go back there
10/27/19(Sun)22:25:39 No.81274854 Anonymous >go eat at local pizza place >eat entire large peperoni pizza >still hungry >Too embarassed to order more cause qt cashier will think I'm a f------ fatass CAMP 6 KB JPG >pretend go get a call from friend >stage an entire 3 minute conversation >end call asking him if he wants anything from the pizza place >order another pizza to go for "friend" >proceed to devour the pizza in my car >cashier walks up to my car with my backpack >sees i'm halfway done with my "friends" pizza >"you forgot your backpack" >I smile and nod with my mouth full >she f------ giggles and walks away F------ bitch I've never been this embarassed in my life. I can never go back there

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Anon is Pennsylvanian | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: dxhqlRej My cousin is a Confederate fan(...) 06/12/22(Sun)12:28:34 No.382068188 >be me >Pennsylvanian >my cousin has a Confederate flag hanging on the front side of his house 30 KB JPG >when I ask him about it, he says that it's a "proud part of his family's heritage" >he has lived in PA his whole life, & our family has lived there for longer than I can remember How do I tell him that Pennsylvania was a free state that fought against the Confederacy for the entirety of the Civil War?
Anonymous (ID: dxhqlRej My cousin is a Confederate fan(...) 06/12/22(Sun)12:28:34 No.382068188 >be me >Pennsylvanian >my cousin has a Confederate flag hanging on the front side of his house 30 KB JPG >when I ask him about it, he says that it's a "proud part of his family's heritage" >he has lived in PA his whole life, & our family has lived there for longer than I can remember How do I tell him that Pennsylvania was a free state that fought against the Confederacy for the entirety of the Civil War?

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Anon has his birthday | /r/Greentext

Report Anonymous Sun 12 Jun 2022 07:44:01 No.879974886 Quoted By: >>879975125 >>879967758 >9 Years old >Mom: I got you invitations for your birthday! >Me: Why? >Mom: So you can invite your friends to your party! >Me: I don't have friends though, no one will come. >Mom: Sure they will! Just tell them all the fun stuff we're going to do! >Me: Well, okay. >Leave invitations on desks because I'm too afraid to hand them out. >Watch as most of them are thrown in the trash. >A week before my birthday >Mom: Are you sure you handed them out?' >Me: Yes, everyone through them out. >Mom: Oh, you're just making things up! >Mom didn't believe no one liked me, just thought I was really shy. >She was half right, I was shy because I knew no one liked me. >In the days before my birthday, I remember hearing her on the phone >Mom: Please, it'll be a really fun time and we'd love to have Tim over. >Mom: It's just for a few hours. >Mom: We'll pay for his present and everything. >Mom: Could you just ask him one more time? >Mom: No, I don't mean you should force him, of course not, but... >Heard her voice crack >Mom: Please, he's a good kid, he's just needs a friend! >Mom: If he changes his mind, please let me know, thanks. >Wonder how many conversations she had like that. >Birthday rolls around >My aunts and uncles and some of my cousins show up. >Cousins just want to hang out with my brother though. >After the pizza and cake they ditch me. >Still try to act like I'm having a good time. >Next year. >Birthday comes >Thankfully she didn't make me do the invitations again. I'm sorry I'm such a loser, Mom.
Report Anonymous Sun 12 Jun 2022 07:44:01 No.879974886 Quoted By: >>879975125 >>879967758 >9 Years old >Mom: I got you invitations for your birthday! >Me: Why? >Mom: So you can invite your friends to your party! >Me: I don't have friends though, no one will come. >Mom: Sure they will! Just tell them all the fun stuff we're going to do! >Me: Well, okay. >Leave invitations on desks because I'm too afraid to hand them out. >Watch as most of them are thrown in the trash. >A week before my birthday >Mom: Are you sure you handed them out?' >Me: Yes, everyone through them out. >Mom: Oh, you're just making things up! >Mom didn't believe no one liked me, just thought I was really shy. >She was half right, I was shy because I knew no one liked me. >In the days before my birthday, I remember hearing her on the phone >Mom: Please, it'll be a really fun time and we'd love to have Tim over. >Mom: It's just for a few hours. >Mom: We'll pay for his present and everything. >Mom: Could you just ask him one more time? >Mom: No, I don't mean you should force him, of course not, but... >Heard her voice crack >Mom: Please, he's a good kid, he's just needs a friend! >Mom: If he changes his mind, please let me know, thanks. >Wonder how many conversations she had like that. >Birthday rolls around >My aunts and uncles and some of my cousins show up. >Cousins just want to hang out with my brother though. >After the pizza and cake they ditch me. >Still try to act like I'm having a good time. >Next year. >Birthday comes >Thankfully she didn't make me do the invitations again. I'm sorry I'm such a loser, Mom.

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The highlander | /r/Greentext

06/12/22(Sun)11:45:47 No.69015275 : Anonymous work Ways you made your job more interesting Ill start >Be me, 16 at the time >2019 >Working at Hardees, trying to get some extra shekels for a Car 62 KB JPG >Really boring day >Decide to start speaking in an almost comedic Scottish accent >practice for like a week, do really well >come in to work and clock in, dont say a word >Customers start rolling in, and start greeting >Oi Laddie! Welcome to hardees, whats your order ye?" >Manager didnt give a s---, half of the time was passed out with heroin needles in his office >Other employees loved it >we put out a tip jar >Gets filled in 4 hours >Suddenly we all start speaking in bad accents >new guy gets hired, we all act like we've always been like this >Still work there to this day
06/12/22(Sun)11:45:47 No.69015275 : Anonymous work Ways you made your job more interesting Ill start >Be me, 16 at the time >2019 >Working at Hardees, trying to get some extra shekels for a Car 62 KB JPG >Really boring day >Decide to start speaking in an almost comedic Scottish accent >practice for like a week, do really well >come in to work and clock in, dont say a word >Customers start rolling in, and start greeting >Oi Laddie! Welcome to hardees, whats your order ye?" >Manager didnt give a s---, half of the time was passed out with heroin needles in his office >Other employees loved it >we put out a tip jar >Gets filled in 4 hours >Suddenly we all start speaking in bad accents >new guy gets hired, we all act like we've always been like this >Still work there to this day

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Anon listens to the radio... | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/29/22(Tue) 13:17:38 No.109596398 >*vinyl scratch sound* >YOU'RE NOW LISTENING TO >*car crash sound* >102.3 >*elephant sound* >REAL ROCK FM 64 KB JPG >*explosion* >WHERE WE PLAY NOTHIN BUT ROCK, ROCK, AND MORE ROCK >*glass shattering sound* >*police siren* >THIS AIN'T YOUR GRANNY'S STATION >*imagine dragons - radioactive starts playing*
: Anonymous 03/29/22(Tue) 13:17:38 No.109596398 >*vinyl scratch sound* >YOU'RE NOW LISTENING TO >*car crash sound* >102.3 >*elephant sound* >REAL ROCK FM 64 KB JPG >*explosion* >WHERE WE PLAY NOTHIN BUT ROCK, ROCK, AND MORE ROCK >*glass shattering sound* >*police siren* >THIS AIN'T YOUR GRANNY'S STATION >*imagine dragons - radioactive starts playing*

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Anon is a bot attempting to write a greentext (created using AI) | /r/Greentext


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Yankees.... | /r/Greentext


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Cool for cat | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/12/22(Sun)11:40:02 No.69015228 >be me >autistic, lonely, touch starved >be my cat >autistic, gets freaked out if i'm not nearby 564 KB JPG >constantly wants to be pet >likes headbutting me with his tiny wet nose >drools when i pet him because he's mentally handicapped >kneads anything nearby >sleeps on my chest every night >keep me company >sleeps in my lap when i vidya I love my cat so much bros.
: Anonymous 06/12/22(Sun)11:40:02 No.69015228 >be me >autistic, lonely, touch starved >be my cat >autistic, gets freaked out if i'm not nearby 564 KB JPG >constantly wants to be pet >likes headbutting me with his tiny wet nose >drools when i pet him because he's mentally handicapped >kneads anything nearby >sleeps on my chest every night >keep me company >sleeps in my lap when i vidya I love my cat so much bros.

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