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Settling for Love | /r/Greentext

SIMP CARD 101708 35m (9/22 23:45) - 74823682 3 Re-0 Img PNG 313KB (968 × 650) Pepe.png : >start talking to girl in class >decide to at least try to get a gf >think if she just says yes, I'm not an incel. >she says yes. >start dating >doesn't like being touched and hasn't had a bf before >Back off for awhile >"it's okay, at least I have a gf" >after a few months pass >Ask her about our relationship >says it's complicated and explains a weird list of hoops to jump through in order for us to move from courting to dating. >weird but okay, at least she doesn't hate me. >still don't touch her >start realizing I'm not gonna to have sex >start feeling like a monster for even thinking about sex with her >"it's okay, at least I have a relationship, maybe she'll change her mind one day and I'll be there." >She's moving next year. >"well at least I'm not an incel." >mfw
SIMP CARD 101708 35m (9/22 23:45) - 74823682 3 Re-0 Img PNG 313KB (968 × 650) Pepe.png : >start talking to girl in class >decide to at least try to get a gf >think if she just says yes, I'm not an incel. >she says yes. >start dating >doesn't like being touched and hasn't had a bf before >Back off for awhile >"it's okay, at least I have a gf" >after a few months pass >Ask her about our relationship >says it's complicated and explains a weird list of hoops to jump through in order for us to move from courting to dating. >weird but okay, at least she doesn't hate me. >still don't touch her >start realizing I'm not gonna to have sex >start feeling like a monster for even thinking about sex with her >"it's okay, at least I have a relationship, maybe she'll change her mind one day and I'll be there." >She's moving next year. >"well at least I'm not an incel." >mfw

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Anons debate economic history | /r/Greentext

Anonymous EASTEAN BLOC MEMBERS Satelite states kaligned www.pat 1940 FAST POLAND CZECHOSLOVAKIA SOVIET 176 KB PNG >>74823779 # Anonymous Anonymous >>74823748 (OP) # The USSR has never been a communist country. It's authoritarian and not a worker democracy. 52 KB JPG 09/22/23(Fri) 14:20:57 No.74823748 >"Communism is the reason we're a s-------." my sides >*Gets rid of communism* >*Becomes an even worse s-------* : Anonymous >>74823748 (OP) # Literally all of those countries are doing better now except for russia ! Anonymous Yikes. 09/22/23(Fri) 14:22:26 No.74823759 09/22/23(Fri) 14:22:33 No.74823760 09/22/23(Fri)14:24:01 No.74823779 >>74823760 # >Literally all of those countries are doing better now except for russia 09/22/23/Fril14:24:04 No 74823780
Anonymous EASTEAN BLOC MEMBERS Satelite states kaligned www.pat 1940 FAST POLAND CZECHOSLOVAKIA SOVIET 176 KB PNG >>74823779 # Anonymous Anonymous >>74823748 (OP) # The USSR has never been a communist country. It's authoritarian and not a worker democracy. 52 KB JPG 09/22/23(Fri) 14:20:57 No.74823748 >"Communism is the reason we're a s-------." my sides >*Gets rid of communism* >*Becomes an even worse s-------* : Anonymous >>74823748 (OP) # Literally all of those countries are doing better now except for russia ! Anonymous Yikes. 09/22/23(Fri) 14:22:26 No.74823759 09/22/23(Fri) 14:22:33 No.74823760 09/22/23(Fri)14:24:01 No.74823779 >>74823760 # >Literally all of those countries are doing better now except for russia 09/22/23/Fril14:24:04 No 74823780

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Wet and Wild | /r/Greentext

please e patient I have autism #catjazz 57m (9/22 20:47) 74822099 3 Re-0 Img JPG 20KB (320x320) 1689156002427.jpg >be last week >havent seen pretend gf all week >weekend arrives and she comes over ●●●● : >bang and f--------- her till I have pool fingers >unexpected family visit >they bring some friend of the family girl my age with them >introduce myself and shake her hand with my soggy fingers >go back to room to f--- pretend gf some more You think the other girl knew when I shook her hand? What would femanons think if they were her?
please e patient I have autism #catjazz 57m (9/22 20:47) 74822099 3 Re-0 Img JPG 20KB (320x320) 1689156002427.jpg >be last week >havent seen pretend gf all week >weekend arrives and she comes over ●●●● : >bang and f--------- her till I have pool fingers >unexpected family visit >they bring some friend of the family girl my age with them >introduce myself and shake her hand with my soggy fingers >go back to room to f--- pretend gf some more You think the other girl knew when I shook her hand? What would femanons think if they were her?

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And he was a good friend | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/24/19(Tue)00:19:33 No.126333760 >>126333492 (OP) # 20 KB JPG >To tell you the truth Luke your father was a d---. Always defying orders, always putting our lives in danger. Hell he even tried to have sex with his apprentice a few times. But when he got caught he acted like we were crazy. I would have been fine, had he not done the same thing with your mom. That's right, he got married behind the Jedi council's back, and thought we were stupid enough to not notice it. Every time I would try to bring it up he would call me a "f--" and throw a tantrum. Then he started going crazy after a few bad dreams, killed Dooku-which I'm pretty sure is a war crime -killed Mace Windu, and even some f------ kids. When his wife and I try to talk him down, he goes crazy and chokes her out, like a f----- lunatic. I kept trying to talk to him but he started babbling slogans at me. >So I let him have it. 13 years of pent up rage and frustration, 13 years of dealing with backtalk from a kid you rescued from slavery. I went all out. I told him it was the high ground, but from a certain point of view that was b-------. I just wanted to cut his limbs and watch him writhe in pain, to suffer like I suffered while dealing with his b------- for 13 years. I even told him I loved him like a brother to add salt to his burning wounds. >Go on, ask me if I regret it. I don't. >Anyway, after that I left, and he became a cyborg mass murderer. He was a p------------ then, and a p------------ now. >And he was a good friend >>126333832 # >>126333932 #
: Anonymous 12/24/19(Tue)00:19:33 No.126333760 >>126333492 (OP) # 20 KB JPG >To tell you the truth Luke your father was a d---. Always defying orders, always putting our lives in danger. Hell he even tried to have sex with his apprentice a few times. But when he got caught he acted like we were crazy. I would have been fine, had he not done the same thing with your mom. That's right, he got married behind the Jedi council's back, and thought we were stupid enough to not notice it. Every time I would try to bring it up he would call me a "f--" and throw a tantrum. Then he started going crazy after a few bad dreams, killed Dooku-which I'm pretty sure is a war crime -killed Mace Windu, and even some f------ kids. When his wife and I try to talk him down, he goes crazy and chokes her out, like a f----- lunatic. I kept trying to talk to him but he started babbling slogans at me. >So I let him have it. 13 years of pent up rage and frustration, 13 years of dealing with backtalk from a kid you rescued from slavery. I went all out. I told him it was the high ground, but from a certain point of view that was b-------. I just wanted to cut his limbs and watch him writhe in pain, to suffer like I suffered while dealing with his b------- for 13 years. I even told him I loved him like a brother to add salt to his burning wounds. >Go on, ask me if I regret it. I don't. >Anyway, after that I left, and he became a cyborg mass murderer. He was a p------------ then, and a p------------ now. >And he was a good friend >>126333832 # >>126333932 #

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Gender relations in the 21st century | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 09/21/23(Thu)09:50:15 No.15760341 899 KB PNG >be me >browsing plebbit r/AmlTheAsshole >see a post titled "would I be the a------ for giving my wife my old Airpods" >why the f--- would that make anybody the a------ >post is about a 40 year old man who got a new pair of airpods for free so he wants to give his wife his old pair >says her birthday is coming up and he got her a couple other gifts and would it be weird if he gave her the old pair instead of the new one >man is absolutely blasted in the comments >people call him disgusting, selfish, creepy, arrogant >some femoid goes off screaming about how everyone always ignores women's birthdays >another dude points out the man got his wife other birthday gifts and is downvoted into oblivion >several people say this marriage sounds like it's headed for divorce >have idea >literally copy the post word for word, change genders and ages so that it's an 18yo girl asking if she can give her 20yo boyfriend the headphones >votes roll in, 95% not the a------ >guys saying "you would be spoiling him too much" >guys saying "you already got him other gifts why not keep both pairs of headphones" >guys saying fake boyfriend is creepy for dating "someone so young AND expecting fancy gifts" >just as expected >close plebbit and thank god that i'm not a soyboy Man, no wonder people hate redditors
Anonymous 09/21/23(Thu)09:50:15 No.15760341 899 KB PNG >be me >browsing plebbit r/AmlTheAsshole >see a post titled "would I be the a------ for giving my wife my old Airpods" >why the f--- would that make anybody the a------ >post is about a 40 year old man who got a new pair of airpods for free so he wants to give his wife his old pair >says her birthday is coming up and he got her a couple other gifts and would it be weird if he gave her the old pair instead of the new one >man is absolutely blasted in the comments >people call him disgusting, selfish, creepy, arrogant >some femoid goes off screaming about how everyone always ignores women's birthdays >another dude points out the man got his wife other birthday gifts and is downvoted into oblivion >several people say this marriage sounds like it's headed for divorce >have idea >literally copy the post word for word, change genders and ages so that it's an 18yo girl asking if she can give her 20yo boyfriend the headphones >votes roll in, 95% not the a------ >guys saying "you would be spoiling him too much" >guys saying "you already got him other gifts why not keep both pairs of headphones" >guys saying fake boyfriend is creepy for dating "someone so young AND expecting fancy gifts" >just as expected >close plebbit and thank god that i'm not a soyboy Man, no wonder people hate redditors

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/v/irgins try comedy | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 25 KB JPG : Anonymous 56 KB JPG >>651692282 # 09/22/23(Fri)18:14:01 No.651691669 >>651692840 # >Lies of P(oop) 09/22/23(Fri)18:17:38 No.651691895 >>651691669 (OP) # Truths of Piss Checkmate : Anonymous >>651691669 (OP) # >>651691895 # stellar posts anons, keep it up 09/22/23(Fri) 18:23:59 No.651692282
: Anonymous 25 KB JPG : Anonymous 56 KB JPG >>651692282 # 09/22/23(Fri)18:14:01 No.651691669 >>651692840 # >Lies of P(oop) 09/22/23(Fri)18:17:38 No.651691895 >>651691669 (OP) # Truths of Piss Checkmate : Anonymous >>651691669 (OP) # >>651691895 # stellar posts anons, keep it up 09/22/23(Fri) 18:23:59 No.651692282

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anon is insecure............. | /r/Greentext

822 Found out wife did things in her past that are off limits for me, can't help but be hurt. Obvious throw away. Found out recently through my wife's really chatty best friend a thing or two about my wife's past. Initially when we were dating she told me certain things were things she had never done before and didn't want to try. Turns out she did them with her exboyfriend. I talked to her about it, she told me she did them back then and enjoyed it. But doesn't want to do them with me. (a---/bdsm/threesome) And when I asked she didn't really give me any reasoning. She just said she didn't want to. I can't help but be hurt over this it has damaged my ego and self confidence. She knows I am hurt over this, but hasn't really given me an answer. So I am looking to you guys. Don't tell me divorce we have been together for 20 years, and she is the mother of my two children. I am not going to leave her over this. I am not saying that I feel entitled to those acts, but I do feel entitled to an explanation of why. >get married >wife is a bit of a prude >ok so she doesn't want to do certain things in bed, not the end of the world, right? >talk to a mutual friend >she accidentally reveals that your wife used to be a mega slut who's done all kinds of kinky s--- in the past >turns out she just doesn't want to do certain things in bed WITH YOU Absolutely brutal. How does one recover from this?
822 Found out wife did things in her past that are off limits for me, can't help but be hurt. Obvious throw away. Found out recently through my wife's really chatty best friend a thing or two about my wife's past. Initially when we were dating she told me certain things were things she had never done before and didn't want to try. Turns out she did them with her exboyfriend. I talked to her about it, she told me she did them back then and enjoyed it. But doesn't want to do them with me. (a---/bdsm/threesome) And when I asked she didn't really give me any reasoning. She just said she didn't want to. I can't help but be hurt over this it has damaged my ego and self confidence. She knows I am hurt over this, but hasn't really given me an answer. So I am looking to you guys. Don't tell me divorce we have been together for 20 years, and she is the mother of my two children. I am not going to leave her over this. I am not saying that I feel entitled to those acts, but I do feel entitled to an explanation of why. >get married >wife is a bit of a prude >ok so she doesn't want to do certain things in bed, not the end of the world, right? >talk to a mutual friend >she accidentally reveals that your wife used to be a mega slut who's done all kinds of kinky s--- in the past >turns out she just doesn't want to do certain things in bed WITH YOU Absolutely brutal. How does one recover from this?

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The Reluctant Coder | /r/Greentext

US 30m (9/22 21:12). 18753734 1 Re-0 Img JPG 108KB (1280 x 720) 2AD0EAA4-E29A-4E03-9148-71863 48BA908.jpg Learn to code I did. And it turns out tech is the gayest field there is. > work with women, and men who put on a 'corporate voice' to sound like women : > have to listen to tryhard f------ argue about whether to use process x or y, application x or y who cares, you're gonna get paid the same either way > have to play along in meetings that you don't care about 'Anon, what is your opinion on this?' > haven't been listening, make something up > have to go along with whatever dumb ideas the higher ups have, when doing absolutely nothing would be just as valuable > everyone panics when some boomer executive makes a request, as if they're serving a king This close to quitting and going back to a blue collar job. Don't care that tech pays more. Why are they all so gay?
US 30m (9/22 21:12). 18753734 1 Re-0 Img JPG 108KB (1280 x 720) 2AD0EAA4-E29A-4E03-9148-71863 48BA908.jpg Learn to code I did. And it turns out tech is the gayest field there is. > work with women, and men who put on a 'corporate voice' to sound like women : > have to listen to tryhard f------ argue about whether to use process x or y, application x or y who cares, you're gonna get paid the same either way > have to play along in meetings that you don't care about 'Anon, what is your opinion on this?' > haven't been listening, make something up > have to go along with whatever dumb ideas the higher ups have, when doing absolutely nothing would be just as valuable > everyone panics when some boomer executive makes a request, as if they're serving a king This close to quitting and going back to a blue collar job. Don't care that tech pays more. Why are they all so gay?

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Anon realized. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous Do i need it? 5 KB PNG 09/22/23(Fri) 10:47:52 No.1045950 >Be me >Coffee junkie, gamer. >Drink coffee for the usual reasons & because it makes my gaming performance better. >One day, make coffee as usual. >Hop online, jump into a ranked game with a ranked friend. >Game lasts 1 hour & half in a triple OT match. >Have one of my best performances of my life. >Grab coffee to take another sip. >Look at coffee, still full, never even drank any yet. >Realized I don't need it. >Quit the next day.
Anonymous Do i need it? 5 KB PNG 09/22/23(Fri) 10:47:52 No.1045950 >Be me >Coffee junkie, gamer. >Drink coffee for the usual reasons & because it makes my gaming performance better. >One day, make coffee as usual. >Hop online, jump into a ranked game with a ranked friend. >Game lasts 1 hour & half in a triple OT match. >Have one of my best performances of my life. >Grab coffee to take another sip. >Look at coffee, still full, never even drank any yet. >Realized I don't need it. >Quit the next day.

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Beyond the Ballot | /r/Greentext

36m (9/22 21:08) - 74822275 : 4 Re-1 Img PNG 47KB (512x512) sad_cat.png Anyone else with no political opinion? When talking to my leftist friends >yeah, gay rights are important, f--- religion >ukraine? f--- yeah, they should decide who to ally with >feminism is important, women have been opressed for far too long >workers rights? f--- yes, eat the rich leeches When talking to my rightwing friends >f--- the wef and their woke s--- >vaccine? no thanks. my body my choice >f--- migrants >ukraine? I kind of get that russia can't afford to lose sevastopol It's all so complicated and most political opinions have their merit if you see it from a certain perspective. I never know who to vote for, usually I don't vote at all.
36m (9/22 21:08) - 74822275 : 4 Re-1 Img PNG 47KB (512x512) sad_cat.png Anyone else with no political opinion? When talking to my leftist friends >yeah, gay rights are important, f--- religion >ukraine? f--- yeah, they should decide who to ally with >feminism is important, women have been opressed for far too long >workers rights? f--- yes, eat the rich leeches When talking to my rightwing friends >f--- the wef and their woke s--- >vaccine? no thanks. my body my choice >f--- migrants >ukraine? I kind of get that russia can't afford to lose sevastopol It's all so complicated and most political opinions have their merit if you see it from a certain perspective. I never know who to vote for, usually I don't vote at all.

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Anons theorize female nature | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 1.69 MB PNG : Anonymous 17 KB JPG 09/22/23(Fri)10:32:37 No.190163624 >Are you implying that a group composed entirely of females will... breed? 09/22/23(Fri)10:34:48 No.190163684 >>190163624 (OP) # no, i'm saying if we give them enough liquor they will make out
: Anonymous 1.69 MB PNG : Anonymous 17 KB JPG 09/22/23(Fri)10:32:37 No.190163624 >Are you implying that a group composed entirely of females will... breed? 09/22/23(Fri)10:34:48 No.190163684 >>190163624 (OP) # no, i'm saying if we give them enough liquor they will make out

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Anonymous Gamer | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 82 KB JPG 08/15/19(Thu)20:11:48 No.53925486 >Walk up to boss >"Hey anything we gotta do around here?" >"Yeah we gotta do all the drum brakes on the trailers but some of the bolts broke off so you'll have to melt em off with the cutting torch." >Pretend he is an NPC giving me a quest >Money is my EXP >Each pay period is a level up >level 208 right now keep grinding out the levels friends gaemr
: Anonymous 82 KB JPG 08/15/19(Thu)20:11:48 No.53925486 >Walk up to boss >"Hey anything we gotta do around here?" >"Yeah we gotta do all the drum brakes on the trailers but some of the bolts broke off so you'll have to melt em off with the cutting torch." >Pretend he is an NPC giving me a quest >Money is my EXP >Each pay period is a level up >level 208 right now keep grinding out the levels friends gaemr

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Indulgence and Bliss | /r/Greentext

4h (9/22 10:14) 74818658 15 Re-2 Img GIF 87KB (498 × 332) pepe-the-frog-cant-see-it.gif S So what does actually make you happy? normies always say "a girlfriend isn't going to make you happy". okay, so what will? >starting a family with a girl that you secretly resent because you know she would've never dated you in college? ●●●● >getting a degree? >using that degree to work 40-60h/week at a soulless FAGMAN company? >forcing yourself to get a hobby that you might not even really like? it really seems like the people who live hedonistic lifestyles actually enjoy life. :
4h (9/22 10:14) 74818658 15 Re-2 Img GIF 87KB (498 × 332) pepe-the-frog-cant-see-it.gif S So what does actually make you happy? normies always say "a girlfriend isn't going to make you happy". okay, so what will? >starting a family with a girl that you secretly resent because you know she would've never dated you in college? ●●●● >getting a degree? >using that degree to work 40-60h/week at a soulless FAGMAN company? >forcing yourself to get a hobby that you might not even really like? it really seems like the people who live hedonistic lifestyles actually enjoy life. :

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Anon is an asshole and should go to horny jail | /r/Greentext

Anonymous O 2.46 MB JPG 09/22/23(Fri)04:10:56 No.74817627 Guys I need some advice >meet a girl on tinder and gave her my social media, never met her personally. >months later, she contacted me, and was very nice to me. >Nicer than any woman ive ever met before. >decide to meet > first it was a bit awkward, but as time passed, we got along better and better. > tries to grab my hand, my autism kicks in and I pull my hand away. >Later, she asks what was my intention to meet her >told her the truth - I was open for everything except a short term hookup >She told me she has enough friends and wouldnt travel 3h for a hookup. >Later in the night, things got more spicy and we ended up f------. >She is currently in a hotel, I am at home. >told her I will drive her to the railway station tomorrow. Now the problems come. >she is fat and ugly. > I am an idiot, I agreed that we could have sex if this would be the beginning of a long term relationship. >She is nice and really into me, but I am just not attracted in her >The sex itself was fine, mostly because I was pretty heart horny and enjoyed cuddling with her. >She also disagrees with some of my political believes, because she is very far left wing. >like a military grade sjw > I just dont want to dump her. It's literally the first time I feel really loved by a girl, and I am scared she will falsely accuse me of r---, or get my family involved, which I absolutely want to avoid. >dont want this woman to become my wife some day, she is nice but I would feel embarrassed to be seen with her in public, ESPECIALLY around my family. What to do fellas?
Anonymous O 2.46 MB JPG 09/22/23(Fri)04:10:56 No.74817627 Guys I need some advice >meet a girl on tinder and gave her my social media, never met her personally. >months later, she contacted me, and was very nice to me. >Nicer than any woman ive ever met before. >decide to meet > first it was a bit awkward, but as time passed, we got along better and better. > tries to grab my hand, my autism kicks in and I pull my hand away. >Later, she asks what was my intention to meet her >told her the truth - I was open for everything except a short term hookup >She told me she has enough friends and wouldnt travel 3h for a hookup. >Later in the night, things got more spicy and we ended up f------. >She is currently in a hotel, I am at home. >told her I will drive her to the railway station tomorrow. Now the problems come. >she is fat and ugly. > I am an idiot, I agreed that we could have sex if this would be the beginning of a long term relationship. >She is nice and really into me, but I am just not attracted in her >The sex itself was fine, mostly because I was pretty heart horny and enjoyed cuddling with her. >She also disagrees with some of my political believes, because she is very far left wing. >like a military grade sjw > I just dont want to dump her. It's literally the first time I feel really loved by a girl, and I am scared she will falsely accuse me of r---, or get my family involved, which I absolutely want to avoid. >dont want this woman to become my wife some day, she is nice but I would feel embarrassed to be seen with her in public, ESPECIALLY around my family. What to do fellas?

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Anon and the transsexual Minecraft bee. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 12 KB JPG 09/01/19(Sun)07:40:23 No.476288660 : Anonymous The Minecraft bee is trans 09/01/19(Sun)07:41:16 No.476288725 Because it attacks you over the slightest thing then kills itself? >>476288834 # >>476288902 # >>476289095 # >>476289154 # >>476289195 # >>476289437 # >>476289623 # >>476289636 # >>476289795 # >>476289904 # >>476290089 # >>476290235 # >>476290462 # >>476291076 # >>476291134 # >>476291137 #
Anonymous 12 KB JPG 09/01/19(Sun)07:40:23 No.476288660 : Anonymous The Minecraft bee is trans 09/01/19(Sun)07:41:16 No.476288725 Because it attacks you over the slightest thing then kills itself? >>476288834 # >>476288902 # >>476289095 # >>476289154 # >>476289195 # >>476289437 # >>476289623 # >>476289636 # >>476289795 # >>476289904 # >>476290089 # >>476290235 # >>476290462 # >>476291076 # >>476291134 # >>476291137 #

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Anon is the n word. | /r/Greentext

> be me; white kid > live in stralya; status quo > make sure ground-harness is strapped on tight > go for walk > niceweather.png 15 KB JPG > walking down this narrow path > black guy was jogging behind me, so i move to the side to let him pass > without even slowing down or looking at me, he goes, "much obliged my n----" and keeps jogging > mfw a black guy called me their n----
> be me; white kid > live in stralya; status quo > make sure ground-harness is strapped on tight > go for walk > niceweather.png 15 KB JPG > walking down this narrow path > black guy was jogging behind me, so i move to the side to let him pass > without even slowing down or looking at me, he goes, "much obliged my n----" and keeps jogging > mfw a black guy called me their n----

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