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Anon roleplays Kif | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/13/16 lived) 19.45.50 10.27049041 24 KB GIF I used to have 50,000 posts on a f------ really weird, small, Futurama forum. There were only about 50 posters on the entire board. For some reason I literally roleplayed as Kif (the frog who was a slave to Zapp Brannigan) in every single f------ post. I remember that the other posters would say things like 'post your penis again for me Kif with a picture of Zapp and I would do it (after using photoshop to make my d--- green). I was basically a f------ sx slave for 50,000 posts. I remember on one occasion a girl came onto the board and I really liked her, but instead of talking to her like a normal human I tried to pick her up by writing an extensive, 1200 word post describing the backrub I gave to Zapp Brannigan. I hate that part of my life almost as bad as this current one. YOU KNOW FULL WELL I'M MORE CLOSELY RELATED TO THE SEA CUCUMBER
: Anonymous 04/13/16 lived) 19.45.50 10.27049041 24 KB GIF I used to have 50,000 posts on a f------ really weird, small, Futurama forum. There were only about 50 posters on the entire board. For some reason I literally roleplayed as Kif (the frog who was a slave to Zapp Brannigan) in every single f------ post. I remember that the other posters would say things like 'post your penis again for me Kif with a picture of Zapp and I would do it (after using photoshop to make my d--- green). I was basically a f------ sx slave for 50,000 posts. I remember on one occasion a girl came onto the board and I really liked her, but instead of talking to her like a normal human I tried to pick her up by writing an extensive, 1200 word post describing the backrub I gave to Zapp Brannigan. I hate that part of my life almost as bad as this current one. YOU KNOW FULL WELL I'M MORE CLOSELY RELATED TO THE SEA CUCUMBER

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Anon likes BG3 | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous GOTY is not a surprise 10/09/24(Wed)22:31:24 No.497791454 >not based on an overused formula >doesn't assume gamers are braindead & listens to their feedback Baldur's Gate 235 KB JPG >becomes an outstanding success lifting a rather niche genre up to mainstream It's not that hard, dear game publishers.
: Anonymous GOTY is not a surprise 10/09/24(Wed)22:31:24 No.497791454 >not based on an overused formula >doesn't assume gamers are braindead & listens to their feedback Baldur's Gate 235 KB JPG >becomes an outstanding success lifting a rather niche genre up to mainstream It's not that hard, dear game publishers.

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Anon blew his fucking chance lmao | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 16 KB JPG >it started slow 10/10/24(Thu)17:14:40 No.79078599 >19 y.o virgin NEET >3 months ago >met up with my female HS friend >shes way f------ hotter than she used to be >urges start growing >i need to f--- her, ASAP >went on a few dates >shes actually into me >first kisses, first hugs, everything first with her >1 month ago >build enough courage to invite her over >she actually agrees >its happening F--- its happening F--- >we are watching a s----- slasher movie from 90's >build enough confidence to invite her into my room >she follows >i remind you my mind is absolute f------ asylum at that point >i told her to get on her knees >i drop my shorts off >my d--- is soft as f--- due to anxiety and excitement >shes literally blowing me off but im f------ soft >max half-hard >i couldn't c-- >she makes fun of me about how limp and soft was for the whole month it's over. 6 Replies 1 Image my d--- View Thread
Anonymous 16 KB JPG >it started slow 10/10/24(Thu)17:14:40 No.79078599 >19 y.o virgin NEET >3 months ago >met up with my female HS friend >shes way f------ hotter than she used to be >urges start growing >i need to f--- her, ASAP >went on a few dates >shes actually into me >first kisses, first hugs, everything first with her >1 month ago >build enough courage to invite her over >she actually agrees >its happening F--- its happening F--- >we are watching a s----- slasher movie from 90's >build enough confidence to invite her into my room >she follows >i remind you my mind is absolute f------ asylum at that point >i told her to get on her knees >i drop my shorts off >my d--- is soft as f--- due to anxiety and excitement >shes literally blowing me off but im f------ soft >max half-hard >i couldn't c-- >she makes fun of me about how limp and soft was for the whole month it's over. 6 Replies 1 Image my d--- View Thread

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Good work Anon, Less fries more salt! | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 17 KB JPG 04/30/22(Sat)08:11:57 No.877240939 >working at McDonald's >kid with his mom brings in orange and green toy gun >joke around with him "Oh are you a soilder?" >kid looks up at me >points toy at me "I'll kill you ugly man" >kids are absolute f------ assholes >salt the s--- of his fries and hamburger >enjoy that you little prick
Anonymous 17 KB JPG 04/30/22(Sat)08:11:57 No.877240939 >working at McDonald's >kid with his mom brings in orange and green toy gun >joke around with him "Oh are you a soilder?" >kid looks up at me >points toy at me "I'll kill you ugly man" >kids are absolute f------ assholes >salt the s--- of his fries and hamburger >enjoy that you little prick

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As I fade away | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 177 KB PNG 10/10/24(Thu)08:47:15 No.79077490 >Tfw I've browsed 4chan for 15 years now >Every moment i get a chance, I'm on Achan >Yeah I've had a few weekends where I didn't browse but for the majority of the time, it's 4chan >If i had of put the effort into commenting and posting on other social medias, I would be somewhat known by now >Could have even started some kind of relationship maybe >Instead i chose to spend my time here being anonymous >Now this website is dying and my time here will mean nothing
Anonymous 177 KB PNG 10/10/24(Thu)08:47:15 No.79077490 >Tfw I've browsed 4chan for 15 years now >Every moment i get a chance, I'm on Achan >Yeah I've had a few weekends where I didn't browse but for the majority of the time, it's 4chan >If i had of put the effort into commenting and posting on other social medias, I would be somewhat known by now >Could have even started some kind of relationship maybe >Instead i chose to spend my time here being anonymous >Now this website is dying and my time here will mean nothing

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Whispers tube | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 10/10/24(Thu)06:04:13 No.79076311 >be me >start making YouTube videos a year You Tube ago 224 KB JPG ASMR video >gets 500k views >rarely get any views >sometimes get views in the hundreds >check my front page >random bitch uploads her first F--- JewTube and f--- women in particular. F--- simps and f--- you for enabling these women to make careers solely based on a pretty face.
Anonymous 10/10/24(Thu)06:04:13 No.79076311 >be me >start making YouTube videos a year You Tube ago 224 KB JPG ASMR video >gets 500k views >rarely get any views >sometimes get views in the hundreds >check my front page >random bitch uploads her first F--- JewTube and f--- women in particular. F--- simps and f--- you for enabling these women to make careers solely based on a pretty face.

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Arriving somewhere but not here | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 36 KB JPG questions before 10/10/24(Thu)07:52:38 No.79077126 >take a psych evaluation for work >a woman starts making me questions >"are you happy?" >"do you feel loved?" >"do you have a partner, friends, family?" >realize I've never been asked such >give short answers, while feeling completely overwhelmed on the inside >get home >sit on the couch >tfw I've been a meat automaton my entire life
: Anonymous 36 KB JPG questions before 10/10/24(Thu)07:52:38 No.79077126 >take a psych evaluation for work >a woman starts making me questions >"are you happy?" >"do you feel loved?" >"do you have a partner, friends, family?" >realize I've never been asked such >give short answers, while feeling completely overwhelmed on the inside >get home >sit on the couch >tfw I've been a meat automaton my entire life

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Looking glass | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 38 KB JPG >pic related 10/10/24(Thu)04:26:09 No.79075652 >parents yap about how I should get sunglasses because it's so bright, yada yada >I finally cave in and buy them >realizes that other people can't see my eyes while I wear them >I can now look wherever I want in public Take the sunglasses pill ASAP
: Anonymous 38 KB JPG >pic related 10/10/24(Thu)04:26:09 No.79075652 >parents yap about how I should get sunglasses because it's so bright, yada yada >I finally cave in and buy them >realizes that other people can't see my eyes while I wear them >I can now look wherever I want in public Take the sunglasses pill ASAP

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Anon lives with redditors | /r/Greentext

File: fast-food-litter-discarde(...).jpg (166 KB, 1300x956) alamy >ffw Year 3, now Has anyone lived with unhealthy roommates? Anonymous 10/09/24(Wed)21:59:50 No.75262792 >>75262819 >>75262846 >>75262896 >>75263457 >>75263464 >be me >health science pre-med University student >live with 3 roommates who were mutuals of other friends of mine for a 3rd year now >they take entirely different programs than me (liberal arts kek) >personable, fun, decent people aside from... >so f------ fat and unhealthy >first year I had a major injury (struck by a car, shattered my leg), so I partook in lots of their party antics, realized I hate alcohol and being unhealthy vehemently >ffw Year 2 of living with them >have rehabilitated my injury and began regaining strength in my leg >distance myself from their habits and form healthier ones on my own > actively notice how disgustingly they choose to live >They drink every single night, fast food 3 meals a day, fat would be an understated and kind thing to call them >They all vape too >They notice me being healthy, and try to bring me down. Make snide comments about my blender being too loud, or that I need to let loose and party with them more >Their bedtimes are consistently 2am. Mine are 10pm. >The one roommate says he wants to begin being healthier >I invite him to the gym, and to the different clubs I go to (climbing, run club, MMA) >Every. Single. Time. Without fail. He comes up with an excuse not to. >I don't hang out with them anymore, not out of hate or disdain, but our values are wildly different. >Have an entirely different group of friends at the University Is this what maturing as a person is? Has anyone else lived with absolute slobs, who's lived-in environment seems to be an exact representation of who they are inside? Messy, disorganized and dirty?
File: fast-food-litter-discarde(...).jpg (166 KB, 1300x956) alamy >ffw Year 3, now Has anyone lived with unhealthy roommates? Anonymous 10/09/24(Wed)21:59:50 No.75262792 >>75262819 >>75262846 >>75262896 >>75263457 >>75263464 >be me >health science pre-med University student >live with 3 roommates who were mutuals of other friends of mine for a 3rd year now >they take entirely different programs than me (liberal arts kek) >personable, fun, decent people aside from... >so f------ fat and unhealthy >first year I had a major injury (struck by a car, shattered my leg), so I partook in lots of their party antics, realized I hate alcohol and being unhealthy vehemently >ffw Year 2 of living with them >have rehabilitated my injury and began regaining strength in my leg >distance myself from their habits and form healthier ones on my own > actively notice how disgustingly they choose to live >They drink every single night, fast food 3 meals a day, fat would be an understated and kind thing to call them >They all vape too >They notice me being healthy, and try to bring me down. Make snide comments about my blender being too loud, or that I need to let loose and party with them more >Their bedtimes are consistently 2am. Mine are 10pm. >The one roommate says he wants to begin being healthier >I invite him to the gym, and to the different clubs I go to (climbing, run club, MMA) >Every. Single. Time. Without fail. He comes up with an excuse not to. >I don't hang out with them anymore, not out of hate or disdain, but our values are wildly different. >Have an entirely different group of friends at the University Is this what maturing as a person is? Has anyone else lived with absolute slobs, who's lived-in environment seems to be an exact representation of who they are inside? Messy, disorganized and dirty?

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These walls are filled with regret | /r/Greentext

Anonymous >"I don't like who I am around(...) & PSP Only On PlayStation What Did I Doto Deserve This, my Lord!? 79 KB JPG 10/10/24(Thu)03:59:53 No.79075468 >acquire gf >love and cherish gf >was big into anime, it's how we met and bonded >towards the start of the year, she starts becoming more distant, figure its the stresses of her new classes and new job >been asking her what was wrong >she reveals four years into the relationship that she becomes insanely jealous every time she remembers I like anime because it makes her feel inadequate >every time we watched it she would smile and pretend that she was having a good time when she was seething and hating my guts under the surface >she confesses that she thought I would "grow out of it" and she can't take it anymore >all I ever watch anymore is one piece once a week >suggest we talk about it, or try counselling or something >feeling physically ill at this point >she tells me everything associated with me is ruined at this point and she's basically pretended that she's single for six months >"and if you actually cared about me, you would've realised it day 1" >dumps me >actually expected us to carry on hanging out as usual, just without the romantic expections I honestly feel like everything good in the world has been ripped out from under me, at least she didn't take my dog i guess
Anonymous >"I don't like who I am around(...) & PSP Only On PlayStation What Did I Doto Deserve This, my Lord!? 79 KB JPG 10/10/24(Thu)03:59:53 No.79075468 >acquire gf >love and cherish gf >was big into anime, it's how we met and bonded >towards the start of the year, she starts becoming more distant, figure its the stresses of her new classes and new job >been asking her what was wrong >she reveals four years into the relationship that she becomes insanely jealous every time she remembers I like anime because it makes her feel inadequate >every time we watched it she would smile and pretend that she was having a good time when she was seething and hating my guts under the surface >she confesses that she thought I would "grow out of it" and she can't take it anymore >all I ever watch anymore is one piece once a week >suggest we talk about it, or try counselling or something >feeling physically ill at this point >she tells me everything associated with me is ruined at this point and she's basically pretended that she's single for six months >"and if you actually cared about me, you would've realised it day 1" >dumps me >actually expected us to carry on hanging out as usual, just without the romantic expections I honestly feel like everything good in the world has been ripped out from under me, at least she didn't take my dog i guess

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Anon uhhhhhh UHHHHHHHHHHHHH WHAT | /r/Greentext

Big Brain ☐ I just shot my mom Anonymous 10/09/24(Wed)21:18:59 No.925708311 >>925708353 >>925708612 >>92570 No im not sorry. Heres what happened: >be me, 35 years old living with my parents, playing Overwatch >mom has been bitching the past week that i dont do anything even though i do plenty of work around the house >mom comes in to my room does her usual bitching >unplugs my f------ monitor in the middle of a ranked game >ivehadenough.jpg >go to my dads room and get the shotgun >shoot the bitch >pretty sure the cops are on their way Chat am I cooked? Anonymous 10/09/24(Wed)21:19:52 No.925708336 >>925708407 Prove it! F-----! Anonymous 10/09/24(Wed)21:20:14 No.925708353 >>925708311 (OP). fake and gay
Big Brain ☐ I just shot my mom Anonymous 10/09/24(Wed)21:18:59 No.925708311 >>925708353 >>925708612 >>92570 No im not sorry. Heres what happened: >be me, 35 years old living with my parents, playing Overwatch >mom has been bitching the past week that i dont do anything even though i do plenty of work around the house >mom comes in to my room does her usual bitching >unplugs my f------ monitor in the middle of a ranked game >ivehadenough.jpg >go to my dads room and get the shotgun >shoot the bitch >pretty sure the cops are on their way Chat am I cooked? Anonymous 10/09/24(Wed)21:19:52 No.925708336 >>925708407 Prove it! F-----! Anonymous 10/09/24(Wed)21:20:14 No.925708353 >>925708311 (OP). fake and gay

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Anon's tragic story | /r/Greentext

Anonymous sad story 10/09/24(Wed)17:59:53 No.925700348 1541421632-meredith-quill-and-star-lord-grandmother-guardians-of-the- galaxy.jpg 131 KB JPG absolutely tragic story so hopefully you guys are prepared >be me 5 years ago >have girlfriend who I love deeply >she develops a cough randomly one day >time passes and it doesn't seem to go away >go to doc with her >doc takes a long time getting results back >comes back and says nothing is wrong... >on way back from doc we stop at costco cause i want a churro >see that costco got rid of the churro, day f------ ruined guys why would costco do this?
Anonymous sad story 10/09/24(Wed)17:59:53 No.925700348 1541421632-meredith-quill-and-star-lord-grandmother-guardians-of-the- galaxy.jpg 131 KB JPG absolutely tragic story so hopefully you guys are prepared >be me 5 years ago >have girlfriend who I love deeply >she develops a cough randomly one day >time passes and it doesn't seem to go away >go to doc with her >doc takes a long time getting results back >comes back and says nothing is wrong... >on way back from doc we stop at costco cause i want a churro >see that costco got rid of the churro, day f------ ruined guys why would costco do this?

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Dating a single moms | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 10/10/24(Thu)00:00:13 No.925697855 >>925697459 (OP) I do >had massive crush on a girl in class >she always ignores me and doesn't even know I am alive >she has sex with everyone in class even my bully >She ends up getting a boyfriend >she cheats on him and gets pregnant >she has no one so I step cos she has no one >I support her through the pregnancy >I had full scolarship to MIT but I dropped out and got a job at McDonalds to make money for the kid >baby is born it's black >She lets me put my name on the baby's birth certificate feel so great >Couldn't get a place of ours cos of the economy lol >she lives with one of her ex boyfriends, it's a studio I know I am not insecure beta male so don't care >Our Plan is for her to finish college get a job then it's my turn to go good plan no? >Any way we been together for more then a year and we still haven't had sex she says she wants to wait for the right day, we do hold hands a lot though >Normal day I go to work come home look after the baby while she goes out with her friends.
Anonymous 10/10/24(Thu)00:00:13 No.925697855 >>925697459 (OP) I do >had massive crush on a girl in class >she always ignores me and doesn't even know I am alive >she has sex with everyone in class even my bully >She ends up getting a boyfriend >she cheats on him and gets pregnant >she has no one so I step cos she has no one >I support her through the pregnancy >I had full scolarship to MIT but I dropped out and got a job at McDonalds to make money for the kid >baby is born it's black >She lets me put my name on the baby's birth certificate feel so great >Couldn't get a place of ours cos of the economy lol >she lives with one of her ex boyfriends, it's a studio I know I am not insecure beta male so don't care >Our Plan is for her to finish college get a job then it's my turn to go good plan no? >Any way we been together for more then a year and we still haven't had sex she says she wants to wait for the right day, we do hold hands a lot though >Normal day I go to work come home look after the baby while she goes out with her friends.

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The dark and the wicked | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Help 10/10/24(Thu)01:27:21 No.79074373 29 KB JPG Be me >Be 28 >Through out the years I've only attracted alt and goth women >They are my type >But each one of them was an energy vampire and it was just pure chaos and mind games >My last girlfriend used to wake me up with a b------ but she was also bite my d---'s tip so hard just for the sake of it >Asked why >She said because she wants to see me hurting while she is pleasing me "it's hot watching you suffer" >She also used to bite my lips while we are kissing to the point that I'd bleed >Broke up with her It has been 5 years since then and now there is a Polish. goth coworker, and she has been touching me and play with my hair when she gets the chance, but I'm very scared, my sister's (looks like pic rel) friend is an alternative and racially mixed girl, and she is a nurse she straight up told me she wanted to try a--- and be her first, I believe she is Muslim or something and that's her trick to stay a virgin, thing is the women is very very unhinged, and she makes it her entire personality to hate on men >I lied and told her I'm gay and not interested >Her eyes got wide and big and asked to peg me WHY CANNOT I ATTRACT NORMAL WOMEN!?? I just want pure and real love, why is that so hard to find?
: Anonymous Help 10/10/24(Thu)01:27:21 No.79074373 29 KB JPG Be me >Be 28 >Through out the years I've only attracted alt and goth women >They are my type >But each one of them was an energy vampire and it was just pure chaos and mind games >My last girlfriend used to wake me up with a b------ but she was also bite my d---'s tip so hard just for the sake of it >Asked why >She said because she wants to see me hurting while she is pleasing me "it's hot watching you suffer" >She also used to bite my lips while we are kissing to the point that I'd bleed >Broke up with her It has been 5 years since then and now there is a Polish. goth coworker, and she has been touching me and play with my hair when she gets the chance, but I'm very scared, my sister's (looks like pic rel) friend is an alternative and racially mixed girl, and she is a nurse she straight up told me she wanted to try a--- and be her first, I believe she is Muslim or something and that's her trick to stay a virgin, thing is the women is very very unhinged, and she makes it her entire personality to hate on men >I lied and told her I'm gay and not interested >Her eyes got wide and big and asked to peg me WHY CANNOT I ATTRACT NORMAL WOMEN!?? I just want pure and real love, why is that so hard to find?

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Anon Accidentally Doxes Himself | /r/Greentext

Board /pol/ - Politically Incorrect Anonymous (ID: 11SANcvL) ▼Settings Mobile Home 10/09/24(Wed)18:28:12 No.484340510 Driver & Vehicle Licensing Agency VRM ° 23/09/2024 Upcoming changes to electric vehicle tax Dear Mr Samani, We're writing to let you know that as the registered keeper of the above electric vehicle, from 1 April 2025 you will need to pay vehicle tax in the same way as existing drivers of petrol and diesel vehicles. This vehicle tax change will apply to all new and existing electric cars, vans and motorcycles. You do not need to do anything now. When the time comes to tax your electric vehicle (on or after 1 April 2025), your vehicle tax will be calculated automatically, and you'l receive a reminder. You'll then be able to tax it online, by phone or at a Post Office". Electric vehicle tax rates The rate of vehicle tax for your electric vehicle will depend on when the vehicle was first registered and what type of vehicle it is (car, motorcycle or van). More information on the vehicle tax changes for electric vehicles is available on GOV.UK: www.gov.uk/dvla/electricvehicletax Scan for more information: Vehicle tax reminders To make it easier to remember when you'll need to tax your electric vehicle, you can now choose to receive reminders by text or email by creating a Driver and vehicles account at www.gov.uk/dvla/account Yours Sincerely Anthony Bamford Driver and Vehicle Licensing Agency 1.08 MB PNG >Be UK government >Want everyone to drive electric cars by 2030 >Pay for the deposit on my electric car >Let me drive it without paying tax >More people start doing it >Road tax revenue goes down (panic) >Proceeds to charge me road tax What even was the f------ point? Anonymous (ID: DKF6M6Hz) 10/09/24(Wed)18:29:19 No.484340644 >>484340510 (OP) >samani kek Anonymous (ID: M3uhaW2G) 10/09/24(Wed)18:29:34 No.484340674 Thanks Mr. Samani. Now delete this thread.
Board /pol/ - Politically Incorrect Anonymous (ID: 11SANcvL) ▼Settings Mobile Home 10/09/24(Wed)18:28:12 No.484340510 Driver & Vehicle Licensing Agency VRM ° 23/09/2024 Upcoming changes to electric vehicle tax Dear Mr Samani, We're writing to let you know that as the registered keeper of the above electric vehicle, from 1 April 2025 you will need to pay vehicle tax in the same way as existing drivers of petrol and diesel vehicles. This vehicle tax change will apply to all new and existing electric cars, vans and motorcycles. You do not need to do anything now. When the time comes to tax your electric vehicle (on or after 1 April 2025), your vehicle tax will be calculated automatically, and you'l receive a reminder. You'll then be able to tax it online, by phone or at a Post Office". Electric vehicle tax rates The rate of vehicle tax for your electric vehicle will depend on when the vehicle was first registered and what type of vehicle it is (car, motorcycle or van). More information on the vehicle tax changes for electric vehicles is available on GOV.UK: www.gov.uk/dvla/electricvehicletax Scan for more information: Vehicle tax reminders To make it easier to remember when you'll need to tax your electric vehicle, you can now choose to receive reminders by text or email by creating a Driver and vehicles account at www.gov.uk/dvla/account Yours Sincerely Anthony Bamford Driver and Vehicle Licensing Agency 1.08 MB PNG >Be UK government >Want everyone to drive electric cars by 2030 >Pay for the deposit on my electric car >Let me drive it without paying tax >More people start doing it >Road tax revenue goes down (panic) >Proceeds to charge me road tax What even was the f------ point? Anonymous (ID: DKF6M6Hz) 10/09/24(Wed)18:29:19 No.484340644 >>484340510 (OP) >samani kek Anonymous (ID: M3uhaW2G) 10/09/24(Wed)18:29:34 No.484340674 Thanks Mr. Samani. Now delete this thread.

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What's the point then? | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 05/18/22(Wed)07:47:23 No.68676280 >go to dentist >don't cry even once >still no spiderman sticker why do i even f------ bother 177 KB PNG 4 Replies / 2 Images View Thread
Anonymous 05/18/22(Wed)07:47:23 No.68676280 >go to dentist >don't cry even once >still no spiderman sticker why do i even f------ bother 177 KB PNG 4 Replies / 2 Images View Thread

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