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The date with a Cinephile | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/26/22(Sat)00:43:01 No.177201214 >bring a girl home >'what're you in the mood for babe?' >"I don't know honey let's see what's on netflix" >'netflix? i got something better than that pleb s---' >whip out external hard drive >girl is confused >plug it into my xbox >over 900 films >hand her the controller >"Pick whatever you'd like, m'lady" >girl is uncomfortable with all this nerdy sci-fi and capeshit >"uh i don't really know-" >"I SAID PICK SOMETHING" >she starts tearing up >"uh i-is Spider-Man 3 good?" >"Nope, try again" >"should we watch Spawn?" >"NO, ffs" >grab controller from her hand >put on the highest form of kino >Dune (1984), the Alan Smithee cut, of course >hand her a bowl of eggs >"eat all of them
: Anonymous 11/26/22(Sat)00:43:01 No.177201214 >bring a girl home >'what're you in the mood for babe?' >"I don't know honey let's see what's on netflix" >'netflix? i got something better than that pleb s---' >whip out external hard drive >girl is confused >plug it into my xbox >over 900 films >hand her the controller >"Pick whatever you'd like, m'lady" >girl is uncomfortable with all this nerdy sci-fi and capeshit >"uh i don't really know-" >"I SAID PICK SOMETHING" >she starts tearing up >"uh i-is Spider-Man 3 good?" >"Nope, try again" >"should we watch Spawn?" >"NO, ffs" >grab controller from her hand >put on the highest form of kino >Dune (1984), the Alan Smithee cut, of course >hand her a bowl of eggs >"eat all of them

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Hooligans Paradise | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: v630+Vib) 09/02/24(Mon)15:58:00 No.480417922 192 KB PNG >Be me >Driving through fancy countryside village >Drive past some posh homes >See a Sign outside >"No New Homes" >See another Sign >"Refugees welcome" So, how retarded is your country?
Anonymous (ID: v630+Vib) 09/02/24(Mon)15:58:00 No.480417922 192 KB PNG >Be me >Driving through fancy countryside village >Drive past some posh homes >See a Sign outside >"No New Homes" >See another Sign >"Refugees welcome" So, how retarded is your country?

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Is there a lore reason? | /r/Greentext

jrr-tolkien-9508428-1-402.jpg 25 KB JPG >Hmmm, what should I call the evil follower of Sauron? >He's a man.... Sauron.... Hmmm...
jrr-tolkien-9508428-1-402.jpg 25 KB JPG >Hmmm, what should I call the evil follower of Sauron? >He's a man.... Sauron.... Hmmm...

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Shooting your shot | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 08/27/24(Tue) 05:43:18 No.202934752 chrome_1gJH95wWjB.png 328 KB PNG >be a handsome colleague >buy this cute co-worker a drink >ask her straight away, are we going to have sex or what. >she says: what. how do you respond without turning instantly into a beta?
Anonymous 08/27/24(Tue) 05:43:18 No.202934752 chrome_1gJH95wWjB.png 328 KB PNG >be a handsome colleague >buy this cute co-worker a drink >ask her straight away, are we going to have sex or what. >she says: what. how do you respond without turning instantly into a beta?

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Anon discusses propaganda | /r/Greentext

Anonymous I figured out why CP is really(...) 20 KB JPG 08/31/24(Sat)13:17:57 No.31918454 >Be FBI >must deploy propaganda for the chuds who never leave their room. >Have a dedicated YouTube channel that 24/7 livestreams of blacks and browns robbing places >but make the footage of whites r----- children illegal. Pretty genius DESU 5 Replies View Thread
Anonymous I figured out why CP is really(...) 20 KB JPG 08/31/24(Sat)13:17:57 No.31918454 >Be FBI >must deploy propaganda for the chuds who never leave their room. >Have a dedicated YouTube channel that 24/7 livestreams of blacks and browns robbing places >but make the footage of whites r----- children illegal. Pretty genius DESU 5 Replies View Thread

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Unity is Strength | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/19/24(Fri)09:27:20 No.4843772 1647102453215.jpg 132 KB JPG ITT: We post clear and obvious redflags that someone is an awful dog owner. I'll start. >Allow their dog on furniture or bed >Allow others to pet their dog >Take their dog to dog parks >Potty train their dog with pee pads >Give their dog human food or dog treats >They playfight with their dog Anonymous >>4843772 (OP) # They have a husky 07/19/24(Fri)09:32:18 No.4843776
: Anonymous 07/19/24(Fri)09:27:20 No.4843772 1647102453215.jpg 132 KB JPG ITT: We post clear and obvious redflags that someone is an awful dog owner. I'll start. >Allow their dog on furniture or bed >Allow others to pet their dog >Take their dog to dog parks >Potty train their dog with pee pads >Give their dog human food or dog treats >They playfight with their dog Anonymous >>4843772 (OP) # They have a husky 07/19/24(Fri)09:32:18 No.4843776

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Anon is drunk | /r/Greentext

1.98 MB GIF doormat >get drunk >bike to the house of my ex who cheated on me over three years ago >about to ring the doorbell >better idea >take out my d--- and piss on the >bike back home >sleep >wake up to flood of texts >ex sent video of me pissing on her doorstep >"Care to explain?????" >"Not really?", I reply >turn cellphone off
1.98 MB GIF doormat >get drunk >bike to the house of my ex who cheated on me over three years ago >about to ring the doorbell >better idea >take out my d--- and piss on the >bike back home >sleep >wake up to flood of texts >ex sent video of me pissing on her doorstep >"Care to explain?????" >"Not really?", I reply >turn cellphone off

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Anon was hit with post nut clarity | /r/Greentext

An Always make decisions AFTER fapping Always make decisions AFTER fa(...) 202 KB JPG 09/02/24(Mon)09:23:45 No.78678121 Anons I had the worst case of impulse buying ever. >Be me >Be straight >Was bored. Decided to watch a movie >Decided to watch the Incredibles since last time I had watched this film was when I was very little. >Since now I am grown up. I started noticing Helen Parr/Elastigirl's physical properties iykyk >After the movie I was horny so I stared looking at lewd cosplays of Elastigirl. >I then saw a link to the store which sells Elastigirl's costume >I have a mild form of autogynephilia (Not trans but imagining myself as a girl gets me aroused) >I decided to buy the costume so that I can fap whilst imaging myself as Elastigirl >Still horny so I fapped to rule 34 art of elastigirl. >Postnutclarity.exe >Realize that I just bought female costume for fapping that I don't need anymore since I am not horny anymore. >Also realized that I have no where to hide it since I live with roommates and I am a permavirgin so I don't have a GF to whom I can gift this suit. What should I do anons?
An Always make decisions AFTER fapping Always make decisions AFTER fa(...) 202 KB JPG 09/02/24(Mon)09:23:45 No.78678121 Anons I had the worst case of impulse buying ever. >Be me >Be straight >Was bored. Decided to watch a movie >Decided to watch the Incredibles since last time I had watched this film was when I was very little. >Since now I am grown up. I started noticing Helen Parr/Elastigirl's physical properties iykyk >After the movie I was horny so I stared looking at lewd cosplays of Elastigirl. >I then saw a link to the store which sells Elastigirl's costume >I have a mild form of autogynephilia (Not trans but imagining myself as a girl gets me aroused) >I decided to buy the costume so that I can fap whilst imaging myself as Elastigirl >Still horny so I fapped to rule 34 art of elastigirl. >Postnutclarity.exe >Realize that I just bought female costume for fapping that I don't need anymore since I am not horny anymore. >Also realized that I have no where to hide it since I live with roommates and I am a permavirgin so I don't have a GF to whom I can gift this suit. What should I do anons?

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Oopsy Daisy | /r/Greentext

File: 1697345052230680.png (824 KB, 1371x1219) Anonymous 09/02/24(Mon)03:49:14 No.78678277 >>78678284 >>78678288 >>78678516 > browsing twatter for p--- as usual >some super pretty 10/10 giga model lightskin girl posted a selfie THREE seconds ago >decide to be a funny guy and take this opportunity to reply "mommy" >she deletes and reposts because posted the wrong image >have to shamelessly reply the same reply to the new post >the joke no longer feels funny in my head >feel like an absolute cockroach as I type out the letters and press the send button
File: 1697345052230680.png (824 KB, 1371x1219) Anonymous 09/02/24(Mon)03:49:14 No.78678277 >>78678284 >>78678288 >>78678516 > browsing twatter for p--- as usual >some super pretty 10/10 giga model lightskin girl posted a selfie THREE seconds ago >decide to be a funny guy and take this opportunity to reply "mommy" >she deletes and reposts because posted the wrong image >have to shamelessly reply the same reply to the new post >the joke no longer feels funny in my head >feel like an absolute cockroach as I type out the letters and press the send button

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Most Ungay Greentext | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 78 KB JPG 09/02/24(Mon)06:38:23 No.78675339 >be me 13 >Have to go to gov program for kids with low self esteem >It's about playing golf >After some time we have to go to the otherside of the island to Copenhagen >They have a similar program >There is a cute emo girl there >Often we get to go play Xbox and playstation instead of golf >Always have fun with her and looks forward to going >Start liking her but she has a boyfriend >Feelssadman.jpg >After some time we start going more into the city for a building because we will make dinner with them >Never cared much for any of it just enjoyed spending time with her >Even kissed once >Stopped being in the program not much later >Ffw to me being 24 >Looking through steam to find games >Looks at reviews of an old game I remember >See she left a review >Wonders how she is doing >Try adding same username as her steam on discord >It's her, she accepts and ask who I am >Make some cringy jokes but after says who I am >She remembers me >We talk for some time >She is still fun >Plays similar games >Watches similar stuff >She even shitposts on 4chan >Start liking her again >She starts replying slower >Few days in between then weeks >In the end she stops and haven't answered for months >She did say she was busy >Was blackout drunk a few times and see I sent her a message a few times >Stops doing that too It's over isn't it?
Anonymous 78 KB JPG 09/02/24(Mon)06:38:23 No.78675339 >be me 13 >Have to go to gov program for kids with low self esteem >It's about playing golf >After some time we have to go to the otherside of the island to Copenhagen >They have a similar program >There is a cute emo girl there >Often we get to go play Xbox and playstation instead of golf >Always have fun with her and looks forward to going >Start liking her but she has a boyfriend >Feelssadman.jpg >After some time we start going more into the city for a building because we will make dinner with them >Never cared much for any of it just enjoyed spending time with her >Even kissed once >Stopped being in the program not much later >Ffw to me being 24 >Looking through steam to find games >Looks at reviews of an old game I remember >See she left a review >Wonders how she is doing >Try adding same username as her steam on discord >It's her, she accepts and ask who I am >Make some cringy jokes but after says who I am >She remembers me >We talk for some time >She is still fun >Plays similar games >Watches similar stuff >She even shitposts on 4chan >Start liking her again >She starts replying slower >Few days in between then weeks >In the end she stops and haven't answered for months >She did say she was busy >Was blackout drunk a few times and see I sent her a message a few times >Stops doing that too It's over isn't it?

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Anon walks out | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 09/02/24(Mon)01:07:11 No.203135110 >flies into space Film-Review-Blue-Beetle.jpg 91 KB JPG >Earth is round Instantly stood up, did a 360 and walked right out the theatre
Anonymous 09/02/24(Mon)01:07:11 No.203135110 >flies into space Film-Review-Blue-Beetle.jpg 91 KB JPG >Earth is round Instantly stood up, did a 360 and walked right out the theatre

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Foolhardy investment | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 08/27/24(Tue)03:39:20 No.202931071 456355435432.png 258 KB PNG >glorified extra on the office >writes garbage tv show about herself >gets 8 figure deal with studio >turns Velma brown >does nothing else What would be the reasoning behind this kind of investment?
Anonymous 08/27/24(Tue)03:39:20 No.202931071 456355435432.png 258 KB PNG >glorified extra on the office >writes garbage tv show about herself >gets 8 figure deal with studio >turns Velma brown >does nothing else What would be the reasoning behind this kind of investment?

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Anon Likes Bushworld Adventures | /r/Greentext

File: 07C8C614-9A24-4E1C-AF65-0(...).jpg (484 KB, 1408x776) Anonymous 08/27/24(Tue)00:14:32 No.145136391 ►>>145136501 >>145138366 >>145142844 >>145144167 >>145149028 >Oh NOOOO! >I FILLED IT WITH DEISEL Anonymous 08/27/24(Tue)00:22:41 No.145136501 >>145142878 >>145145794 >>145136391 (OP) If you look closely at the video, you can see that the door for the petrol tank is on the left side of the car while Rick "refuels" on the right side of the car He didn't even fill the tank with diesel. He just wanted to mess with Morty and make him put a witchity grub on his c--- Anonymous 08/27/24(Tue)00:25:43 No.145136534 >>145137278 It's crazy to me how the felt like the actual spirit of season 1 of Rick and Morty, and how little the show resembles its original feeling now. Anonymous 08/27/24(Tue)02:37:11 No.145138366 >>145136391 (OP) >>145140003 >Rick and Morty has become completely irrelevant >now the most memorable thing about it it's a April Fools shitpost (that's superior to the entire series) well deserved. Anonymous 08/27/24(Tue)07:50:32 No.145142844 ► >>145136391 (OP) >The single best thing to come out of Rick and Morty >The single best thing to come out of Michael Cusack
File: 07C8C614-9A24-4E1C-AF65-0(...).jpg (484 KB, 1408x776) Anonymous 08/27/24(Tue)00:14:32 No.145136391 ►>>145136501 >>145138366 >>145142844 >>145144167 >>145149028 >Oh NOOOO! >I FILLED IT WITH DEISEL Anonymous 08/27/24(Tue)00:22:41 No.145136501 >>145142878 >>145145794 >>145136391 (OP) If you look closely at the video, you can see that the door for the petrol tank is on the left side of the car while Rick "refuels" on the right side of the car He didn't even fill the tank with diesel. He just wanted to mess with Morty and make him put a witchity grub on his c--- Anonymous 08/27/24(Tue)00:25:43 No.145136534 >>145137278 It's crazy to me how the felt like the actual spirit of season 1 of Rick and Morty, and how little the show resembles its original feeling now. Anonymous 08/27/24(Tue)02:37:11 No.145138366 >>145136391 (OP) >>145140003 >Rick and Morty has become completely irrelevant >now the most memorable thing about it it's a April Fools shitpost (that's superior to the entire series) well deserved. Anonymous 08/27/24(Tue)07:50:32 No.145142844 ► >>145136391 (OP) >The single best thing to come out of Rick and Morty >The single best thing to come out of Michael Cusack

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Anon on Omegle clone | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous >It's over. 423 KB JPG 09/01/24(Sun) 22:40:27 No.78671220 >friends are all unavailable right now >bored as s--- >go onto one of those omegle clone websites >connect with a bunch of normies >its chill shockingly >get connected with another zoomerbro >talk about me being an unlovable f----- >"nah bro youre like a 6, girls will like you i promise just put yourself out there" >part ways >get connected with a girl >"ohhh... youre ugly" >get skipped Why do zoomer f------ lie about this s---? Do they not want us to kill ourselves?
: Anonymous >It's over. 423 KB JPG 09/01/24(Sun) 22:40:27 No.78671220 >friends are all unavailable right now >bored as s--- >go onto one of those omegle clone websites >connect with a bunch of normies >its chill shockingly >get connected with another zoomerbro >talk about me being an unlovable f----- >"nah bro youre like a 6, girls will like you i promise just put yourself out there" >part ways >get connected with a girl >"ohhh... youre ugly" >get skipped Why do zoomer f------ lie about this s---? Do they not want us to kill ourselves?

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Anon does not like mudslimes | /r/Greentext

everyone claps >talk s--- about chinks eveyone claps >talk s--- about mudslimes | Muslims are a protected class on this board Anonymous (ID: HRV4QGdC) 09/02/24(Mon)05:32:14 No.480336083 [Reply] ► /pol/ logic: >talk s--- about n------ everyone claps >talk s--- about jews everyone claps >talk s--- about whites everyone claps >talk s--- about christians everyone claps >talk s--- about jeets everyone claps >talk s--- about wetbacks everyone gets triggered, offended, and calls you a jew You f------ retards are goddamn cowards and deserve everything that is happening to the west right now. You are afraid of the sand n------ and are allowing them to ruin europe. The muslim comes here, says something in their disgusting language and you all cower in fear, they then ruin everything and then the n------, which are scavengers, finish the job Death to muhammad piss be upon her
everyone claps >talk s--- about chinks eveyone claps >talk s--- about mudslimes | Muslims are a protected class on this board Anonymous (ID: HRV4QGdC) 09/02/24(Mon)05:32:14 No.480336083 [Reply] ► /pol/ logic: >talk s--- about n------ everyone claps >talk s--- about jews everyone claps >talk s--- about whites everyone claps >talk s--- about christians everyone claps >talk s--- about jeets everyone claps >talk s--- about wetbacks everyone gets triggered, offended, and calls you a jew You f------ retards are goddamn cowards and deserve everything that is happening to the west right now. You are afraid of the sand n------ and are allowing them to ruin europe. The muslim comes here, says something in their disgusting language and you all cower in fear, they then ruin everything and then the n------, which are scavengers, finish the job Death to muhammad piss be upon her

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Anon needs to change his diet | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 688 KB PNG 06/06/22(Mon) 11:02:32 No.67072123 >Drink a sugary drink >Take a piss >Piss smells like sugar >Realize that my body literally filters out excess sugar for me and I don't need to worry about it anymore : Anonymous 06/06/22(Mon)11:04:27 No.67072145 >>67072123 (OP) # Anon... >>67072213 #
: Anonymous 688 KB PNG 06/06/22(Mon) 11:02:32 No.67072123 >Drink a sugary drink >Take a piss >Piss smells like sugar >Realize that my body literally filters out excess sugar for me and I don't need to worry about it anymore : Anonymous 06/06/22(Mon)11:04:27 No.67072145 >>67072123 (OP) # Anon... >>67072213 #

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Anon is italian american | /r/Greentext

File: 62667 - SoyBooru.png (343 KB, 800x799) یاد Italian-Americans Anonymous 08/29/24(Thu)16:25:15 No.17017313 >Immigrates to America in the 1920s >Immediately takes over New York and New Jersey from the Irish >Refuse racemixing and integration even with whites >Destroys the black community with crime and drugs >>17017318 >>17017319 >>17017337 >>17017417 >>17017425 >>17017472 >Among the only real euro-American immigrant cultures left standing today >Singlehandedly keeps New York and New Jersey half Republican despite s---/nig incursion Why are they so powerful bros?
File: 62667 - SoyBooru.png (343 KB, 800x799) یاد Italian-Americans Anonymous 08/29/24(Thu)16:25:15 No.17017313 >Immigrates to America in the 1920s >Immediately takes over New York and New Jersey from the Irish >Refuse racemixing and integration even with whites >Destroys the black community with crime and drugs >>17017318 >>17017319 >>17017337 >>17017417 >>17017425 >>17017472 >Among the only real euro-American immigrant cultures left standing today >Singlehandedly keeps New York and New Jersey half Republican despite s---/nig incursion Why are they so powerful bros?

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Anon is sick of brainrot | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 08/31/24(Sat) 10:33:15 No.23756042 >>23756310 >>23756378 >>2375645 >Write a "long" (aka > 100 words) post on literally any platform now >Get accused of yapping, get told no one is reading that s---, "tl;dr" etc. There is no solution to this s---, is there?
Anonymous 08/31/24(Sat) 10:33:15 No.23756042 >>23756310 >>23756378 >>2375645 >Write a "long" (aka > 100 words) post on literally any platform now >Get accused of yapping, get told no one is reading that s---, "tl;dr" etc. There is no solution to this s---, is there?

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Earl of Sandwich | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/27/21 (Fri)21:13:07 No.65157997 52 KB JPG >>65156362 >live in a bad part of town >work at a grocery store >always give hobos the food the store wants to throw out >on cold days, I make a big jug of coffee and hand it out to them >no one ever asks me for cash because they know I'm broke >am known as the "sandwich man" because I usually make sandwiches for them >last year, got mugged walking back home >5 seconds after being confronted I hear "AYO GET AWAY FROM THE SANDWICH MAN!" >4 or 5 homeless guys run to me from half a block away yelling at the mugger to get away from me despite him having a knife >he ran off after they came and they chased after him >follow and there was like 10 of them gathered around and he was pinned to the ground >one called the police and they arrested the guy >was told "if anyone f---- with you sandwich man, we got your back" >mfw I basically have a street gang by giving away day old sandwich meat and bread I am told to throw in the trash
: Anonymous 08/27/21 (Fri)21:13:07 No.65157997 52 KB JPG >>65156362 >live in a bad part of town >work at a grocery store >always give hobos the food the store wants to throw out >on cold days, I make a big jug of coffee and hand it out to them >no one ever asks me for cash because they know I'm broke >am known as the "sandwich man" because I usually make sandwiches for them >last year, got mugged walking back home >5 seconds after being confronted I hear "AYO GET AWAY FROM THE SANDWICH MAN!" >4 or 5 homeless guys run to me from half a block away yelling at the mugger to get away from me despite him having a knife >he ran off after they came and they chased after him >follow and there was like 10 of them gathered around and he was pinned to the ground >one called the police and they arrested the guy >was told "if anyone f---- with you sandwich man, we got your back" >mfw I basically have a street gang by giving away day old sandwich meat and bread I am told to throw in the trash

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Anon wants a cure | /r/Greentext

Anonymous I want to believe 32 KB JPG in myself 08/30/24(Fri)20:29:21 No.38704751 >drive kinda far outside of town in my car at night >look up at the night sky and hope to see a UFO >hope one would know how to fix what's wrong with my brain >remember that even aliens probably want nothing to do with me either >drive home defeated Anonymous 08/30/24(Fri)20:32:41 No.38704766 >>38704751 (OP) # Nothing wrong with your brain. I wouldn't do what you do, though, for two reasons: 1. Putting miles on your car. 2. Gas money. For those two reasons I wouldn't leave town even if Henry Cavill offered me to f--- his ass. Actually, I might drive out for Cavill, though. >>38704806 # Anonymous >>38704766 # 08/30/24(Fri)20:38:50 No.38704806 >Nothing wrong with your brain. You are wrong. >I wouldn't do what you do, though, for two reasons: >1. Putting miles on your car. >2. Gas money. I don't really care. I at least get good gas milage.
Anonymous I want to believe 32 KB JPG in myself 08/30/24(Fri)20:29:21 No.38704751 >drive kinda far outside of town in my car at night >look up at the night sky and hope to see a UFO >hope one would know how to fix what's wrong with my brain >remember that even aliens probably want nothing to do with me either >drive home defeated Anonymous 08/30/24(Fri)20:32:41 No.38704766 >>38704751 (OP) # Nothing wrong with your brain. I wouldn't do what you do, though, for two reasons: 1. Putting miles on your car. 2. Gas money. For those two reasons I wouldn't leave town even if Henry Cavill offered me to f--- his ass. Actually, I might drive out for Cavill, though. >>38704806 # Anonymous >>38704766 # 08/30/24(Fri)20:38:50 No.38704806 >Nothing wrong with your brain. You are wrong. >I wouldn't do what you do, though, for two reasons: >1. Putting miles on your car. >2. Gas money. I don't really care. I at least get good gas milage.

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