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Anon goes to his aunts house | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 16 KB JPG 07/16/22(Sat)10:53:44 No.882118684 >be me, 18 >at aunt's house >go to the living room and see baby laying on the couch >go to play with him >aunt says with another child on her hands, "Leave anon, you are making me uncomfortable" I didn't even look at her once, I was just playing with the baby Why would my aunt see me as a creep 07/16/22(Sat)11:03:39 No.882118973 : Anonymous Your raging erection probably gave it away
: Anonymous 16 KB JPG 07/16/22(Sat)10:53:44 No.882118684 >be me, 18 >at aunt's house >go to the living room and see baby laying on the couch >go to play with him >aunt says with another child on her hands, "Leave anon, you are making me uncomfortable" I didn't even look at her once, I was just playing with the baby Why would my aunt see me as a creep 07/16/22(Sat)11:03:39 No.882118973 : Anonymous Your raging erection probably gave it away

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Bada-bing-bada-ring | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Bada-bing-bada-ring A 164 KB PNG 07/16/22(Sat) 14:45:12 No.69432310 > Circa 2012 there was a number you could call on Skype that would connect you to any business in the US toll free. > With fellow shitbrain friends on Skype (ab)using the service. > Remeber Family Guy episode where Peter grows a moustache and thinks he can speak Italian. > ~\.idea\ > Call a random Italian restaurant in New York City, NY lady answers. > "Ey, Joe's Pizza here, how-you-doin'?" > "Buongiorno, pai-pipi-popo-papa." > "What? I don't speak Italian. Hold on let me get Joe" > Hear loud talking and banging of pots and pans in the background, before man comes to the phone. > "Ey-yo it's Joe her', how you doing?" > "Ciao, papi-dipopo-papa?" > hangs up > Repeat a few throughout a week. Now the hanging up is generally preceded by at least a "Prick" or "F--- you". > Joe gets progressively more irrate with every call. > Comes to the point where NY lady immediately slams the phone down in the middle of my "Buongiorno". > adjust.svg > Ring again, NY lady answers, in my best US accent, ask if Joe's working and if he can come to the phone. > "Sjure hol' on a sec." > I again hear, the now very familiar to my ears, banging of pots and shouting between NY lady and Joe, before Joe picks up the horn. > "Ey-yo Joe her', what-cannado-fo-you?" > "Papodo-pini-ponando?" > Receive a barrage of verbal aggression, I before thought was not possible to convey, through the just 3100hz bandwith. I don't really know, or care, if any of you find this funny. All i care is that it still cracks me up almost a decade later, just thinking about it. Ah Italians. And Joe if you're still out there. It wasn't my fault, I was given access to power I wasn't ready for.
: Anonymous Bada-bing-bada-ring A 164 KB PNG 07/16/22(Sat) 14:45:12 No.69432310 > Circa 2012 there was a number you could call on Skype that would connect you to any business in the US toll free. > With fellow shitbrain friends on Skype (ab)using the service. > Remeber Family Guy episode where Peter grows a moustache and thinks he can speak Italian. > ~\.idea\ > Call a random Italian restaurant in New York City, NY lady answers. > "Ey, Joe's Pizza here, how-you-doin'?" > "Buongiorno, pai-pipi-popo-papa." > "What? I don't speak Italian. Hold on let me get Joe" > Hear loud talking and banging of pots and pans in the background, before man comes to the phone. > "Ey-yo it's Joe her', how you doing?" > "Ciao, papi-dipopo-papa?" > hangs up > Repeat a few throughout a week. Now the hanging up is generally preceded by at least a "Prick" or "F--- you". > Joe gets progressively more irrate with every call. > Comes to the point where NY lady immediately slams the phone down in the middle of my "Buongiorno". > adjust.svg > Ring again, NY lady answers, in my best US accent, ask if Joe's working and if he can come to the phone. > "Sjure hol' on a sec." > I again hear, the now very familiar to my ears, banging of pots and shouting between NY lady and Joe, before Joe picks up the horn. > "Ey-yo Joe her', what-cannado-fo-you?" > "Papodo-pini-ponando?" > Receive a barrage of verbal aggression, I before thought was not possible to convey, through the just 3100hz bandwith. I don't really know, or care, if any of you find this funny. All i care is that it still cracks me up almost a decade later, just thinking about it. Ah Italians. And Joe if you're still out there. It wasn't my fault, I was given access to power I wasn't ready for.

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Have fun zooming again | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: NU1xcTs! 09/11/21 (Sat)01:15:36 No.338612282 Abby Chen hou. Hem But since Tuesday, she's been in Arild Palmer Hospital for Chile Ching COLD poumonia in both lungs was a beally 16-year-old. The Taille ten took virtual school classes and wore a face mask when she left the dhe didn't have pre-exting da, and she didn't g Abby Chef Tishing Covo pro OF HOT Healthy American.jpg 1.11 MB JPG >Healthy American >No Pre-existing Conditions : Anonymous (ID: 6162XCJD) 143] The world's thinnest American. E 09/11/21 (Sat)01:19:39 No.338612676
: Anonymous (ID: NU1xcTs! 09/11/21 (Sat)01:15:36 No.338612282 Abby Chen hou. Hem But since Tuesday, she's been in Arild Palmer Hospital for Chile Ching COLD poumonia in both lungs was a beally 16-year-old. The Taille ten took virtual school classes and wore a face mask when she left the dhe didn't have pre-exting da, and she didn't g Abby Chef Tishing Covo pro OF HOT Healthy American.jpg 1.11 MB JPG >Healthy American >No Pre-existing Conditions : Anonymous (ID: 6162XCJD) 143] The world's thinnest American. E 09/11/21 (Sat)01:19:39 No.338612676

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/fit/izen watchdogs against racism | /r/Greentext

11h (7/1 3:40) · 67398200 56 Re 11 Img JPG 44KB (640x640) 8 Replies . >*does nothing* 11h (7/1 3:45) 67398266 21 Replies >>67398200 (OP) Just because he's black doesn't mean he doesn't have a job a------
11h (7/1 3:40) · 67398200 56 Re 11 Img JPG 44KB (640x640) 8 Replies . >*does nothing* 11h (7/1 3:45) 67398266 21 Replies >>67398200 (OP) Just because he's black doesn't mean he doesn't have a job a------

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Germanon wants to know why burgers hate his people | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: SZa9lrhW)8 Why do Americans hate us germa(...) WAS IST EINE GREENCARD? THE AMERICAN DREAM 203 KB JPG >The country with the most green card winners worldwide this year was Egypt, with a whopping 5,529 winners. Algeria (5,526 winners), Uzbekistan (5,511 winners) and Iran (5,506 winners) follow directly behind. Germany only gets like 500 greencards. Why do you import 3rd worlders and lightbulb-heads from Somalia in masses but we germans are not allowed in the US? : Anonymous (ID: AhgiZ6Ye $395 >>386620961 # 07/14/22(Thu)01:46:39 No.386617656 >>386617656 (OP) # Because not many germans apply for the greencard 07/14/22(Thu)01:47:47 No.386617781 : Anonymous (ID: Pa4h+003 : Anonymous (ID: hzu2QMTj >>386620637 # >>386621234 # 07/14/22(Thu)01:49:43 No.386618024 07/14/22(Thu)01:49:44 No.386618029 >>386617656 (OP) # Germans are collectively the most evil people in existance. They have almost destroyed Europe a dozen times in the last 2 thousand years. Not even k---- are this bad. : Anonymous (ID: Vixey3LZ) 07/14/22(Thu)01:50:54 No.386618167 >Martin Luther ruined Europe by causing a world changing war >Wilhelm II ruined Europe by causing a world changing war >Hitler ruined Europe by causing a world changing war >Germany now is ruining Europe via EU policies Yeah I really wonder why we hate you >>386620255 # >>386620637 # >>386621338 # >>386622664 #
Anonymous (ID: SZa9lrhW)8 Why do Americans hate us germa(...) WAS IST EINE GREENCARD? THE AMERICAN DREAM 203 KB JPG >The country with the most green card winners worldwide this year was Egypt, with a whopping 5,529 winners. Algeria (5,526 winners), Uzbekistan (5,511 winners) and Iran (5,506 winners) follow directly behind. Germany only gets like 500 greencards. Why do you import 3rd worlders and lightbulb-heads from Somalia in masses but we germans are not allowed in the US? : Anonymous (ID: AhgiZ6Ye $395 >>386620961 # 07/14/22(Thu)01:46:39 No.386617656 >>386617656 (OP) # Because not many germans apply for the greencard 07/14/22(Thu)01:47:47 No.386617781 : Anonymous (ID: Pa4h+003 : Anonymous (ID: hzu2QMTj >>386620637 # >>386621234 # 07/14/22(Thu)01:49:43 No.386618024 07/14/22(Thu)01:49:44 No.386618029 >>386617656 (OP) # Germans are collectively the most evil people in existance. They have almost destroyed Europe a dozen times in the last 2 thousand years. Not even k---- are this bad. : Anonymous (ID: Vixey3LZ) 07/14/22(Thu)01:50:54 No.386618167 >Martin Luther ruined Europe by causing a world changing war >Wilhelm II ruined Europe by causing a world changing war >Hitler ruined Europe by causing a world changing war >Germany now is ruining Europe via EU policies Yeah I really wonder why we hate you >>386620255 # >>386620637 # >>386621338 # >>386622664 #

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Anon gets cucked | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous LET'S SAY HYPOTHETICALLY I COULDN'T F------ TAKE IT ANYMORE 291 KB JPG 07/16/22(Sat)08:29:36 No.882112851 >break up with long distance gf because I could do long distance anymore and she also turned into an obnoxious FNaF fan and acted like a middle schooler >it was my decision but I feel empty inside afterwards because I did love her but I couldn't stand being in a relationship with her anymore >start talking to this girl I know >used to know her a few years ago >start talking to her again >we become really good friends >gets to the point where she's coming over to my place to talk every day for hours on end >we become such good friends she starts telling me all her fetishes and kinks and sexual experiences >we tell each other secrets that neither of us have told another soul >she's exactly my type too. She's a short redhead tomboy that's pretty buff >fall in love with this girl >start feeling less empty and a little more whole again >find out from a friend that she knows I like her >turns out she might have feelings for me too >the same exact day I find that out the same exact friend tells me that she's being regularly fingerblasted by some guy she hates What f------ zone am I in Anons
: Anonymous LET'S SAY HYPOTHETICALLY I COULDN'T F------ TAKE IT ANYMORE 291 KB JPG 07/16/22(Sat)08:29:36 No.882112851 >break up with long distance gf because I could do long distance anymore and she also turned into an obnoxious FNaF fan and acted like a middle schooler >it was my decision but I feel empty inside afterwards because I did love her but I couldn't stand being in a relationship with her anymore >start talking to this girl I know >used to know her a few years ago >start talking to her again >we become really good friends >gets to the point where she's coming over to my place to talk every day for hours on end >we become such good friends she starts telling me all her fetishes and kinks and sexual experiences >we tell each other secrets that neither of us have told another soul >she's exactly my type too. She's a short redhead tomboy that's pretty buff >fall in love with this girl >start feeling less empty and a little more whole again >find out from a friend that she knows I like her >turns out she might have feelings for me too >the same exact day I find that out the same exact friend tells me that she's being regularly fingerblasted by some guy she hates What f------ zone am I in Anons

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If a 4chan user can keep going then you can too | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 147 KB JPG 07/16/22(Sat)00:46:55 No.67598452 >>67598340 (OP) # suffer as I have anon >molested by uncle cousin and grandma >get beat up daily by siblings to the point you go numb >become a friendless loser through middle school and high-school due to trauma >survive meth head father beating the s--- out of you >survive bipolar mother verbally f--- with you every single day >move 10 times in a the course of a few years because of said f--- up parents. >move into government apartments with nigs spics and methheqds >almost get stabbed a few times >have insane mother put you on anti psychotics because she has legitimate manchausen by proxy syndrome >get off meds and violently puke everyday for a year and go from 170 pounds to 95 at your lowest >escape to the good grandparents >start doing better and getting healthy >surprise your dad is almost dead >get fired from games top for seeing father in ER >he survives with a 2% chance but he's a little funny and he never fully came back >leave to the navy >finally meet a girl but find out she's an ex.meth head >she used.me.to get kicked. out of the navy >move to a different state >she follows.me and comes into my apartment with a gun and a plan to kill me in my sleep >coworker comes early to pick me up and spooks her off >have a different girl try to stab me after she stole my alcohol >family constantly trying to gains and soul goblin me back Into the cesspit >go to college and graduate which makes them furious I got married and own my own home we are having our first mid soon I'm getting my masters degree and my wife ready has hers my goblin family cut off all contact because I can't be their punching bag anymore the point in all that anon is that no matter what happens you can't just give up and die because that's what they want you to do
: Anonymous 147 KB JPG 07/16/22(Sat)00:46:55 No.67598452 >>67598340 (OP) # suffer as I have anon >molested by uncle cousin and grandma >get beat up daily by siblings to the point you go numb >become a friendless loser through middle school and high-school due to trauma >survive meth head father beating the s--- out of you >survive bipolar mother verbally f--- with you every single day >move 10 times in a the course of a few years because of said f--- up parents. >move into government apartments with nigs spics and methheqds >almost get stabbed a few times >have insane mother put you on anti psychotics because she has legitimate manchausen by proxy syndrome >get off meds and violently puke everyday for a year and go from 170 pounds to 95 at your lowest >escape to the good grandparents >start doing better and getting healthy >surprise your dad is almost dead >get fired from games top for seeing father in ER >he survives with a 2% chance but he's a little funny and he never fully came back >leave to the navy >finally meet a girl but find out she's an ex.meth head >she used.me.to get kicked. out of the navy >move to a different state >she follows.me and comes into my apartment with a gun and a plan to kill me in my sleep >coworker comes early to pick me up and spooks her off >have a different girl try to stab me after she stole my alcohol >family constantly trying to gains and soul goblin me back Into the cesspit >go to college and graduate which makes them furious I got married and own my own home we are having our first mid soon I'm getting my masters degree and my wife ready has hers my goblin family cut off all contact because I can't be their punching bag anymore the point in all that anon is that no matter what happens you can't just give up and die because that's what they want you to do

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anon takes a dump | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 07/15/22(Fri)17:32:17 No.882098545 >be me >amazon slave >warehouse is s----- and hot >retarded ass inpo messages every where >f------ hate working here >need to take a s--- >decide f--- it, s--- in a box >look for a box thats going to someone whos name i hate >Asmund Delgato >name f------ infuriates me, some f------ mexican Italian >tacos and spaghetti night >s--- in his box >wrap it up >next day hear in news about a s--- in box for the mayor of my s--- c-- town >kek what are some rage things you do also i was fired the next day
Anonymous 07/15/22(Fri)17:32:17 No.882098545 >be me >amazon slave >warehouse is s----- and hot >retarded ass inpo messages every where >f------ hate working here >need to take a s--- >decide f--- it, s--- in a box >look for a box thats going to someone whos name i hate >Asmund Delgato >name f------ infuriates me, some f------ mexican Italian >tacos and spaghetti night >s--- in his box >wrap it up >next day hear in news about a s--- in box for the mayor of my s--- c-- town >kek what are some rage things you do also i was fired the next day

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Anon can't get it up | /r/Greentext

4h (7/16 9:49) 882109414 2 Replies Pretty relevant thread >Be me, 33 sexless basement dweller >Finally meet someone >we date, it starts getting hot and heavy >I can't get it up >Fuckfuckfuck.png >Skip forward, Try again a week later >Have bought some Viagra >It works, we have sex >Skip forward another week, want to try without >Can't get it up again >P--- has ruined me >In pillow talk she tells me what she's in to, and asks what I'm in to >I tell her, I've never told anyone. Not even gonna post it here. >She immediately stops touching me and doesn't talk to me >I go and sleep in my spare room for the night >Can't sleep, I've ruined my first and only FWB >Currently Waiting for her to wake up :
4h (7/16 9:49) 882109414 2 Replies Pretty relevant thread >Be me, 33 sexless basement dweller >Finally meet someone >we date, it starts getting hot and heavy >I can't get it up >Fuckfuckfuck.png >Skip forward, Try again a week later >Have bought some Viagra >It works, we have sex >Skip forward another week, want to try without >Can't get it up again >P--- has ruined me >In pillow talk she tells me what she's in to, and asks what I'm in to >I tell her, I've never told anyone. Not even gonna post it here. >She immediately stops touching me and doesn't talk to me >I go and sleep in my spare room for the night >Can't sleep, I've ruined my first and only FWB >Currently Waiting for her to wake up :

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halal greentext | /r/Greentext

5 KB GIF I'll start. >live in mediterranean s------- that's muslim on paper but most people are fairly secular/don't give a f--- about religion >muslim dude frequents my gym, has a ridiculously long beard >think Alan Thrall but with jet black hair >Bloatlord physique >Start every set by saying "BISMILLAH" (In the name of allah) >today, he walks in and goes straight to the flat bench, no warm-up >starts doing sets of 12 BP with 1.5 pl8 >Lost track of how many sets he did but he starts reaching failure >bar stops moving halfway through the ROM >every vein in his face starts to pop >can hear him saying "YA ALLAH" through his teeth >bar goes up >my f------ face
5 KB GIF I'll start. >live in mediterranean s------- that's muslim on paper but most people are fairly secular/don't give a f--- about religion >muslim dude frequents my gym, has a ridiculously long beard >think Alan Thrall but with jet black hair >Bloatlord physique >Start every set by saying "BISMILLAH" (In the name of allah) >today, he walks in and goes straight to the flat bench, no warm-up >starts doing sets of 12 BP with 1.5 pl8 >Lost track of how many sets he did but he starts reaching failure >bar stops moving halfway through the ROM >every vein in his face starts to pop >can hear him saying "YA ALLAH" through his teeth >bar goes up >my f------ face

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Anon sees a couple | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous ALATELETO EDITION MISPRINT PL THIS EXTREMELY RARE PEPE HAS ONLY 1 KNOWN COPY DUPLICATION BY SAVING AND DISTRIBUTINO IS STRICTLY PROHIBITED AND PUNISHABLE BY UP TO 25 YEARS IN FEDERAL PRISON WITH A FINE UP TO 510 000 000 aromide 1.2 MB GIF 07/15/22(Fri) 22:46:11 No.69428835 >Be me >Walking down busy street yesterday >Stuck behind a couple going way too slow >Ethnic (probably Indian) looking guy and a white stacy >Stacy is stunning from behind, fashionable clothes, beautiful blonde hair, and tall and slender >Wondering how this dude pulled that off >White girls do not like ethnic men >He was really tall so maybe that was enough for her >Brutal heightpill if its cancels out the crime on not following JBW game >Anyway at some point they go into a store >Finally get to see stacies face >Bet its going to gorgeous >Stacy turns out to be an obvious t----- >Wasnt wearing any makeup >Its like she put all her effort into the clothes and nothing at all in her face 2 Replies / 1 Image >Feel good that I was right. Feel bad for the ethnic dude though. Probably the best he can do is a t----- >Not his fault women are so racist View Thread
: Anonymous ALATELETO EDITION MISPRINT PL THIS EXTREMELY RARE PEPE HAS ONLY 1 KNOWN COPY DUPLICATION BY SAVING AND DISTRIBUTINO IS STRICTLY PROHIBITED AND PUNISHABLE BY UP TO 25 YEARS IN FEDERAL PRISON WITH A FINE UP TO 510 000 000 aromide 1.2 MB GIF 07/15/22(Fri) 22:46:11 No.69428835 >Be me >Walking down busy street yesterday >Stuck behind a couple going way too slow >Ethnic (probably Indian) looking guy and a white stacy >Stacy is stunning from behind, fashionable clothes, beautiful blonde hair, and tall and slender >Wondering how this dude pulled that off >White girls do not like ethnic men >He was really tall so maybe that was enough for her >Brutal heightpill if its cancels out the crime on not following JBW game >Anyway at some point they go into a store >Finally get to see stacies face >Bet its going to gorgeous >Stacy turns out to be an obvious t----- >Wasnt wearing any makeup >Its like she put all her effort into the clothes and nothing at all in her face 2 Replies / 1 Image >Feel good that I was right. Feel bad for the ethnic dude though. Probably the best he can do is a t----- >Not his fault women are so racist View Thread

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Superpower 2020 anon goes to worst Pakistan | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: FfrIVXLL)E 9 KB JPG 10/12/21(Tue)21:19:39 No.343156055 But >Be Indian immigrant >Move to the UK in the 1950s with wife and kids >Little to no community or help >Get harrassed by locals on the daily >Support family by working 16+ hour shifts at the corner shop you own >It ain't much but it's a honest life > Over the years of hardships and abuse your becoming a respectable member of the community >Made relationships with those who initially hated you becoming close friends >All that hard work has paid off >Granddaughter, who is only 25% Indian, complains she a victim of racism because her northerner teacher is having trouble with her last name. >Complains to you, tell her that it's no big deal. >She calls you a racist enabler. Tfw all your hard work is becoming undone due to ungrateful privileged kids.
: Anonymous (ID: FfrIVXLL)E 9 KB JPG 10/12/21(Tue)21:19:39 No.343156055 But >Be Indian immigrant >Move to the UK in the 1950s with wife and kids >Little to no community or help >Get harrassed by locals on the daily >Support family by working 16+ hour shifts at the corner shop you own >It ain't much but it's a honest life > Over the years of hardships and abuse your becoming a respectable member of the community >Made relationships with those who initially hated you becoming close friends >All that hard work has paid off >Granddaughter, who is only 25% Indian, complains she a victim of racism because her northerner teacher is having trouble with her last name. >Complains to you, tell her that it's no big deal. >She calls you a racist enabler. Tfw all your hard work is becoming undone due to ungrateful privileged kids.

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Anon takes karate classes | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 泡 (6 192 KB JPG 06/04/22(Sat)19:53:43 No.68915496 >be in Karate >have to s--- >Dont say anything even though we have to run laps around the mat >S--- my pants while running laps with everyone >Nobody notices and continues running laps, stepping on my s--- >Now s--- is everywhere >Suddenly one kid notices and goes up to smell it >confirms its s--- >tells the teacher >Dojo is closed for the remainder of the day Nobody ever found out it was me : Anonymous 06/04/22(Sat) 19:54:59 No.68915513 >>68915496 (OP) # No one could tell it was you who shat their solid white gi OP? Are you really sure of that?
: Anonymous 泡 (6 192 KB JPG 06/04/22(Sat)19:53:43 No.68915496 >be in Karate >have to s--- >Dont say anything even though we have to run laps around the mat >S--- my pants while running laps with everyone >Nobody notices and continues running laps, stepping on my s--- >Now s--- is everywhere >Suddenly one kid notices and goes up to smell it >confirms its s--- >tells the teacher >Dojo is closed for the remainder of the day Nobody ever found out it was me : Anonymous 06/04/22(Sat) 19:54:59 No.68915513 >>68915496 (OP) # No one could tell it was you who shat their solid white gi OP? Are you really sure of that?

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fat fucker ruins anons day (psst, fat fuck was anon) | /r/Greentext

File: obesefatfuck.jpg (40 KB, 635x395) >he tries to hop in one >he is too fat, wont fit >keeps trying anyway >fat f--- finally manages to fit >instantly goes to twinkies aisle Anonymous 07/15/22 (Fri)13:36:34 No.882087383 >be me >wagie at a kroger (shiddy american grocery store for all you sad f---- out there) >see fat person "walk" in >he spots the complimentary scooters >he tries to get up, using the shelving to help >shelving breaks, whole wall starts falling >it falls >fat f--- is on his side, twinkies f------ everywhere >whole shelf just f------ decimated what a time to be alive, this fat f--- just made my day, and also ruined it fat people really dont care about themselves do they
File: obesefatfuck.jpg (40 KB, 635x395) >he tries to hop in one >he is too fat, wont fit >keeps trying anyway >fat f--- finally manages to fit >instantly goes to twinkies aisle Anonymous 07/15/22 (Fri)13:36:34 No.882087383 >be me >wagie at a kroger (shiddy american grocery store for all you sad f---- out there) >see fat person "walk" in >he spots the complimentary scooters >he tries to get up, using the shelving to help >shelving breaks, whole wall starts falling >it falls >fat f--- is on his side, twinkies f------ everywhere >whole shelf just f------ decimated what a time to be alive, this fat f--- just made my day, and also ruined it fat people really dont care about themselves do they

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Anon hatches a plan | /r/Greentext

Anonymous >at gym >Doing barbel curls >I need to fart >I can't hold it for long, i really need to fart but the gym is crowded >*Big brain moment* >I will let out a scream then drop the barbell while farting. The sound should cover the fart. >I scream, i drop the barbell THEN i let out a huge f------ fart 124 KB PNG 06/08/22(Wed)23:15:37 No.879776524 >Everyone stares at me >Everyone heard me >My undies feel wet >Am i retarded in the head? 5 Replies View Thread
Anonymous >at gym >Doing barbel curls >I need to fart >I can't hold it for long, i really need to fart but the gym is crowded >*Big brain moment* >I will let out a scream then drop the barbell while farting. The sound should cover the fart. >I scream, i drop the barbell THEN i let out a huge f------ fart 124 KB PNG 06/08/22(Wed)23:15:37 No.879776524 >Everyone stares at me >Everyone heard me >My undies feel wet >Am i retarded in the head? 5 Replies View Thread

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Anon does not like reddit | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 159 KB PNG 07/16/22(Sat)02:01:38 No.69426059 >your account is too new! Post deleted! 19 Replies >you dont have enough karma! Post deleted >we think your post might be violating the rules based on a keyword! Post deleted! >your post has been queued for manual approval by the subreddit moderators >this thread has been locked, there has been enough discussion on this topic! How did such a s--- tier forum become one of the most popular websites? View Thread
: Anonymous 159 KB PNG 07/16/22(Sat)02:01:38 No.69426059 >your account is too new! Post deleted! 19 Replies >you dont have enough karma! Post deleted >we think your post might be violating the rules based on a keyword! Post deleted! >your post has been queued for manual approval by the subreddit moderators >this thread has been locked, there has been enough discussion on this topic! How did such a s--- tier forum become one of the most popular websites? View Thread

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Anon's sister can't cook | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/14/18(Sun)12:39:16 No.48693227 8 KB JPG >be me, living with older sister >she's the one who's usually cooking >she's a terrible cook >I barely know how to make a sandwich so we've got no options >one day get into a fight and I tell her that her food is disgusting >"if you don't like my food then you can eat my p----" >go into my room >hottest fapping session of my life also, how do I apologize to her? She's the main source of income and the only one who does housework and laundry while I just sit at my computer all day. She could go out and f--- with Chad all day yet she'd rather provide me shelter. How could I return her favor?
: Anonymous 10/14/18(Sun)12:39:16 No.48693227 8 KB JPG >be me, living with older sister >she's the one who's usually cooking >she's a terrible cook >I barely know how to make a sandwich so we've got no options >one day get into a fight and I tell her that her food is disgusting >"if you don't like my food then you can eat my p----" >go into my room >hottest fapping session of my life also, how do I apologize to her? She's the main source of income and the only one who does housework and laundry while I just sit at my computer all day. She could go out and f--- with Chad all day yet she'd rather provide me shelter. How could I return her favor?

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Anon isn't and NPC | /r/Greentext

File: 1631987660896.jpg (40 KB, 641x527) Anonymous 07/15/22(Fri)01:45:40 No.882048167 >Drink water >Piss >Drink water >Piss >Drink water >Piss >Drink water >Piss Surely you guys can't be doing this s--- all day
File: 1631987660896.jpg (40 KB, 641x527) Anonymous 07/15/22(Fri)01:45:40 No.882048167 >Drink water >Piss >Drink water >Piss >Drink water >Piss >Drink water >Piss Surely you guys can't be doing this s--- all day

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Anon brings a gun to a knifefight | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 914 KB JPG Anonymous 7 KB JPG 07/16/22(Sat)00:00:02 No.69424627 >makes strength and size irrelevant 07/16/22(Sat)00:01:56 No.69424652 >makes your knife irrelevant
: Anonymous 914 KB JPG Anonymous 7 KB JPG 07/16/22(Sat)00:00:02 No.69424627 >makes strength and size irrelevant 07/16/22(Sat)00:01:56 No.69424652 >makes your knife irrelevant

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Anon watches the special family guy movie | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/15/22(Fri)13:10:24 No.882083708 >be me, special needy boy at 18 years old >Huge fan of family guy and especially the dog Bryant >One day I'm at the movie and games store in my town >The guy at the front desk sees my family guy T shirt and jokingly tells me I should take the special family guy VHS he has behind the counter >He and his co worker were laughing when talking about it and they must've thought I understood what they meant >I ask to see it and they say "no joke, you want it?" And I accept >I put the VHS in and it turns out to be a live action family guy for some reason, Bryan dog is in a costume for some reason >Peter is muscular and pulls out his weiner for some reason >Lois takes off her shirt for some reason and they both start doing sex >I'm scared and pull out the VHS and add it to my collection of things to burn It's been years since this incident and I'll never be the same 52 KB PNG
: Anonymous 07/15/22(Fri)13:10:24 No.882083708 >be me, special needy boy at 18 years old >Huge fan of family guy and especially the dog Bryant >One day I'm at the movie and games store in my town >The guy at the front desk sees my family guy T shirt and jokingly tells me I should take the special family guy VHS he has behind the counter >He and his co worker were laughing when talking about it and they must've thought I understood what they meant >I ask to see it and they say "no joke, you want it?" And I accept >I put the VHS in and it turns out to be a live action family guy for some reason, Bryan dog is in a costume for some reason >Peter is muscular and pulls out his weiner for some reason >Lois takes off her shirt for some reason and they both start doing sex >I'm scared and pull out the VHS and add it to my collection of things to burn It's been years since this incident and I'll never be the same 52 KB PNG

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