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Anon is a theoretical phycisit | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 12/15/23(Fri)13:27:23 No.660769336 IMG_0113.jpg 908 KB JPG >Be Theoretical Physicist >Game starts with you doing an experiment 0/10 immersion ruined
Anonymous 12/15/23(Fri)13:27:23 No.660769336 IMG_0113.jpg 908 KB JPG >Be Theoretical Physicist >Game starts with you doing an experiment 0/10 immersion ruined

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Anon goes to a bar | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous I got AIDS doing the right thi(...) 109 KB JPG 08/29/24(Thu)05:13:56 No.21107841 Be me: >go to bar for some fun >walk in and some n----- shoots someone and runs >dudes bleeding from his leg, artery nicked >run to med kit, glove up, and begin packing bullet hole with goss on the artery >Dude still bleeds, but is slowed >emt comes and the dude who got shot tells the emt he has aids >my face when I hear that >get blood tested days later >it's positive I saved someone's life and paid the price for doing good. My life is ruined at 25 and knowing there's nothing I can do to fix it. I want to kill myself...
: Anonymous I got AIDS doing the right thi(...) 109 KB JPG 08/29/24(Thu)05:13:56 No.21107841 Be me: >go to bar for some fun >walk in and some n----- shoots someone and runs >dudes bleeding from his leg, artery nicked >run to med kit, glove up, and begin packing bullet hole with goss on the artery >Dude still bleeds, but is slowed >emt comes and the dude who got shot tells the emt he has aids >my face when I hear that >get blood tested days later >it's positive I saved someone's life and paid the price for doing good. My life is ruined at 25 and knowing there's nothing I can do to fix it. I want to kill myself...

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Anon understands | /r/Greentext

128,0 kB PNG >playing a single player shooter game >spend the entire playthrough hoarding all the primo ammo types and never using them >only use the s-------- weapons and ammo because "I might need the good stuff later" >complete the final mission >suddenly realize I got through the whole game without ever having fun with the coolest weapons in it >realize I'm doing the same thing with my actual life
128,0 kB PNG >playing a single player shooter game >spend the entire playthrough hoarding all the primo ammo types and never using them >only use the s-------- weapons and ammo because "I might need the good stuff later" >complete the final mission >suddenly realize I got through the whole game without ever having fun with the coolest weapons in it >realize I'm doing the same thing with my actual life

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Against all odds | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/24/24(Sat) 08:42:34 No.686532052 1661040134048.jpg 176 KB JPG >I am a lesbian in a desolate, cruel, post-apocalyptic society, where humanity has been put on the endangered list due to nuclear warfare, raiding cannibals and mutant monsters.
: Anonymous 08/24/24(Sat) 08:42:34 No.686532052 1661040134048.jpg 176 KB JPG >I am a lesbian in a desolate, cruel, post-apocalyptic society, where humanity has been put on the endangered list due to nuclear warfare, raiding cannibals and mutant monsters.

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Anon hungers | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 09/16/22(Fri)13:25:40 No.885734753 >these freshmen get smaller every year >i want to eat them >i hunger 200 KB JPG
Anonymous 09/16/22(Fri)13:25:40 No.885734753 >these freshmen get smaller every year >i want to eat them >i hunger 200 KB JPG

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Draco has had enough! | /r/Greentext

File: However.jpg (25 KB, 474x357) Anonymous 08/28/24(Wed)20:35:00 No.203001650 >Yes, Yes well done Slytherin, well done indeed... Anonymous 08/28/24(Wed)20:36:46 No.203001704 File: file.png (156 KB, 468x415) >>203001650 (OP) >>203001704 >>203001818 >>203001835 The points, you old f-----! Give me the points! Anonymous 08/28/24(Wed)20:39:43 No.203001776 Canonically Dumbledore is drunk here
File: However.jpg (25 KB, 474x357) Anonymous 08/28/24(Wed)20:35:00 No.203001650 >Yes, Yes well done Slytherin, well done indeed... Anonymous 08/28/24(Wed)20:36:46 No.203001704 File: file.png (156 KB, 468x415) >>203001650 (OP) >>203001704 >>203001818 >>203001835 The points, you old f-----! Give me the points! Anonymous 08/28/24(Wed)20:39:43 No.203001776 Canonically Dumbledore is drunk here

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Anon made an mistake | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 23andme 658 KB PNG 11/19/23(Sun)20:25:06 No.30203134 Guys me and my sister did the 23andMe and it turned out me and my sister aren't related at all. We both speculated she was adopted and we started flirting and was having sex within the week. A few months pass and our mom catches us f------ midorgasm. She spazzed out and started crying told dad and started vomiting. I told that that we know she was adopted and the 23andMe proved it. My mom said she wasn't adopted between sobs. I contacted 23andMe support and they apparently we got the results of someone else. I went to move in with my dad and I'm not allowed contact with my sister anymore. My sister is freaking out over the fact she f----- her bio brother. I still want to keep f------ her though. Do I have a lawsuit here against 23andMe? I feel like they are at fault here. 5 Replies View Thread
Anonymous 23andme 658 KB PNG 11/19/23(Sun)20:25:06 No.30203134 Guys me and my sister did the 23andMe and it turned out me and my sister aren't related at all. We both speculated she was adopted and we started flirting and was having sex within the week. A few months pass and our mom catches us f------ midorgasm. She spazzed out and started crying told dad and started vomiting. I told that that we know she was adopted and the 23andMe proved it. My mom said she wasn't adopted between sobs. I contacted 23andMe support and they apparently we got the results of someone else. I went to move in with my dad and I'm not allowed contact with my sister anymore. My sister is freaking out over the fact she f----- her bio brother. I still want to keep f------ her though. Do I have a lawsuit here against 23andMe? I feel like they are at fault here. 5 Replies View Thread

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Anon meets a nice man | /r/Greentext

14 KB JPG >I look up >when I was 9 I went to Vegas >we were at a hotel I can't remember which one and getting on an elevator >I hear a burley voice ask to hold the door >my parents look like they've just seen a ghost >John f------ Goodman is standing there in a nice suit fairly tipsy >my parents are in awe same as me >I said "you're the guy from the Flintstones!" >he yells "oh boy are you right! yabadabadoo!" asks my dad to hold his cigar and picks me up >points down at my shirt and says "whats that?" and then flicks my nose >I was laughing and he chuckled and said "good kid you got here" >he put me down reaches in his pocket, pulls out a money clip and gave my parents a couple hundred dollars each and a cigar and said "you guys enjoy your trip huh?" >we walk out of the elevator and look back and he points a finger gun at me and clicks his tongue, waves goodbye to my parents >totally awesome dude 10/10 celebrity >I will never not be a fan
14 KB JPG >I look up >when I was 9 I went to Vegas >we were at a hotel I can't remember which one and getting on an elevator >I hear a burley voice ask to hold the door >my parents look like they've just seen a ghost >John f------ Goodman is standing there in a nice suit fairly tipsy >my parents are in awe same as me >I said "you're the guy from the Flintstones!" >he yells "oh boy are you right! yabadabadoo!" asks my dad to hold his cigar and picks me up >points down at my shirt and says "whats that?" and then flicks my nose >I was laughing and he chuckled and said "good kid you got here" >he put me down reaches in his pocket, pulls out a money clip and gave my parents a couple hundred dollars each and a cigar and said "you guys enjoy your trip huh?" >we walk out of the elevator and look back and he points a finger gun at me and clicks his tongue, waves goodbye to my parents >totally awesome dude 10/10 celebrity >I will never not be a fan

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Anon and the Camp Counselor | /r/Greentext

XBOX 360 KINECT Cabela's ADVENTURE REQUIRES CAMP MAVE FUR GREEING E ACTIVISION ☐ Anonymous 08/28/24(Wed)07:27:52 No.686992587 >Be me >9 >Go to Summer Camp >The Camp Counselor is a religious nut. Couldn't keep his job as a pastor since he screamed too loud indoors. >Gives mini sermons every time there's a camp role call. >Goes on a rant about video games. >"If you play video games you can't go to Heaven because you'll be so obsessed with them you won't like Heaven and find it boring." >Bummed out that I'm probably going to Hell for the rest of the day. Now that I sit down and think about it, how f------ boring is Heaven that it gets soloed by a video game and what specifically is it that God finds so offensive about Vidya?
XBOX 360 KINECT Cabela's ADVENTURE REQUIRES CAMP MAVE FUR GREEING E ACTIVISION ☐ Anonymous 08/28/24(Wed)07:27:52 No.686992587 >Be me >9 >Go to Summer Camp >The Camp Counselor is a religious nut. Couldn't keep his job as a pastor since he screamed too loud indoors. >Gives mini sermons every time there's a camp role call. >Goes on a rant about video games. >"If you play video games you can't go to Heaven because you'll be so obsessed with them you won't like Heaven and find it boring." >Bummed out that I'm probably going to Hell for the rest of the day. Now that I sit down and think about it, how f------ boring is Heaven that it gets soloed by a video game and what specifically is it that God finds so offensive about Vidya?

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The War Machine | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 07/18/24(Thu)01:52:48 No.4842970 >Be me tumblr_mdcd66YvQT1qg7bdoo1_1280.jpg 110 KB JPG >Go to Summer camp >One of the activity blocks for the week is spending 1 hour a day at the Nature Center. >My group is in the Reptile portion of the center. >I get paired with this smoking hot blonde in mini shorts and a tube top. >She's constantly giving me bedroom eyes and "accidentally" lets the snake we're supposed to be taking care of crawl under her shirt and on her t---. >Finally get up the courage to ask for number on the last day of camp >Find out she already gave it to four other guys right before I ask. >Decide to not even bother Still wonder to this day whether or not I made the right choice.
Anonymous 07/18/24(Thu)01:52:48 No.4842970 >Be me tumblr_mdcd66YvQT1qg7bdoo1_1280.jpg 110 KB JPG >Go to Summer camp >One of the activity blocks for the week is spending 1 hour a day at the Nature Center. >My group is in the Reptile portion of the center. >I get paired with this smoking hot blonde in mini shorts and a tube top. >She's constantly giving me bedroom eyes and "accidentally" lets the snake we're supposed to be taking care of crawl under her shirt and on her t---. >Finally get up the courage to ask for number on the last day of camp >Find out she already gave it to four other guys right before I ask. >Decide to not even bother Still wonder to this day whether or not I made the right choice.

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No Faith in Medicine | /r/Greentext

Board /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 Anonymous eteezy cteezy ▼ Settings Mobile Home 08/28/24(Wed)18:44:01 No.78635333 Vecteezy 19 Vecte Vecteez Vecteez 2.58 MB PNG >Be doctors as recently as pre 1999 >Believe babies couldn't feel pain >Circumcise it >It cries during the process >"Nah, babies just cry just because" Were they retarded? Anonymous >>78635333 (OP) >you can't study this, that's anti-semitic 08/28/24(Wed)18:44:37 No.78635336
Board /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 Anonymous eteezy cteezy ▼ Settings Mobile Home 08/28/24(Wed)18:44:01 No.78635333 Vecteezy 19 Vecte Vecteez Vecteez 2.58 MB PNG >Be doctors as recently as pre 1999 >Believe babies couldn't feel pain >Circumcise it >It cries during the process >"Nah, babies just cry just because" Were they retarded? Anonymous >>78635333 (OP) >you can't study this, that's anti-semitic 08/28/24(Wed)18:44:37 No.78635336

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The War Machine | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 50 KB JPG something funny" >I say yes 07/18/24(Thu)00:33:06 No.4842903 >be me >1995 >six years old >my homeless druggie uncle is living with us for a few months >one day he comes in high as f--- with a very small baby kitten he found outside >"Hey Justin do you want to see >he squeezes the kitten as hard as he can and it quickly dies Is it pathetic that I still cry like a baby sometimes whenever I remember that despite being a 35 year old man my uncle died in 2002 from a drug overdose if anyone's curious
Anonymous 50 KB JPG something funny" >I say yes 07/18/24(Thu)00:33:06 No.4842903 >be me >1995 >six years old >my homeless druggie uncle is living with us for a few months >one day he comes in high as f--- with a very small baby kitten he found outside >"Hey Justin do you want to see >he squeezes the kitten as hard as he can and it quickly dies Is it pathetic that I still cry like a baby sometimes whenever I remember that despite being a 35 year old man my uncle died in 2002 from a drug overdose if anyone's curious

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Average American lore | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/04/24(Thu)19:26:03 No.194371461 RONALD REAGAN speaks out against SOCIALIZED MEDICINE Reagan-LPcover.jpg 86 KB JPG >a c-list actor's career flopped so now I have to pay $1000 to set foot in an ambulance any other examples like this?
: Anonymous 01/04/24(Thu)19:26:03 No.194371461 RONALD REAGAN speaks out against SOCIALIZED MEDICINE Reagan-LPcover.jpg 86 KB JPG >a c-list actor's career flopped so now I have to pay $1000 to set foot in an ambulance any other examples like this?

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Anon destroys a dream | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 08/26/24(Mon)08:33:19 No.31891275 >>31891287 >>31891302 >>31901714 >>31891201 (OP). >be me >boss is a f------ a------, hate him >suddenly big brain moment >pay a clickfarm to boost the lame content of my boss >watch him get delusional about becoming a tiktok influencer >he quits his job to chase the influencer dream >cancel the clickfarm, lol >he comes crawling back to the company >not as my boss anymore but as my assistant >life's good
Anonymous 08/26/24(Mon)08:33:19 No.31891275 >>31891287 >>31891302 >>31901714 >>31891201 (OP). >be me >boss is a f------ a------, hate him >suddenly big brain moment >pay a clickfarm to boost the lame content of my boss >watch him get delusional about becoming a tiktok influencer >he quits his job to chase the influencer dream >cancel the clickfarm, lol >he comes crawling back to the company >not as my boss anymore but as my assistant >life's good

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The gender conundrum | /r/Greentext

20 posts by this ID Anonymous (ID: IOSNCtWP) ☑ 08/21/24(Wed)10:01:24 No.479048057 IMG_0717.png 7 KB PNG >man sleeps with 20 chicks >he is a high test based alpha gigachad >woman sleeps with 20 dudes >she is a dirty w---- that destroys the fabric of society But >woman doesn't sleep with anybody >she is pure angel that waits for her prince >man doesn't sleep with anybody >he is a pathetic looser who should be laughed at
20 posts by this ID Anonymous (ID: IOSNCtWP) ☑ 08/21/24(Wed)10:01:24 No.479048057 IMG_0717.png 7 KB PNG >man sleeps with 20 chicks >he is a high test based alpha gigachad >woman sleeps with 20 dudes >she is a dirty w---- that destroys the fabric of society But >woman doesn't sleep with anybody >she is pure angel that waits for her prince >man doesn't sleep with anybody >he is a pathetic looser who should be laughed at

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anon is cringe | /r/Greentext

Anonymous Cringiest Alpha Moves Part 1 of 3 Accepting Your D 475 KB PNG check my mail 05/12/17(Fri)15:19:49 No.36972961 >be me >be 14 or so >live in college apartments and above a cute girl >think of some way to impress her >lightbulb.png >walk downstairs one night to >quietly drop a $1 bill on the ground >cute girl outside, notices I dropped it >sir, you dropped your dollar bill! >turn around slowly >"you can keep it" >walk away >mfw remembering this a few years later and realizing how cringe this was
Anonymous Cringiest Alpha Moves Part 1 of 3 Accepting Your D 475 KB PNG check my mail 05/12/17(Fri)15:19:49 No.36972961 >be me >be 14 or so >live in college apartments and above a cute girl >think of some way to impress her >lightbulb.png >walk downstairs one night to >quietly drop a $1 bill on the ground >cute girl outside, notices I dropped it >sir, you dropped your dollar bill! >turn around slowly >"you can keep it" >walk away >mfw remembering this a few years later and realizing how cringe this was

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/k/ has a dream | /r/Greentext

File: 1540982682jpg.jpg (1.25 MB, 3840x2160) Anonymous 08/27/24(Tue)10:36:25 No.62377896 >>62382389 Sometimes my weapons appear in my dreams for me to use, which makes me happy Anonymous 08/27/24(Tue)22:43:44 No.62382389 >>62377896 (OP) I have one major gun dream I remember >>was watching a kid's soccer game with Artosis, of starcraft fame >some of the kids grabbed the goal of one team and started running around with it >laugh and say "those are future protoss players" >Arty and Tasteless laugh, Tasteless isn't wearing a shirt for some reason >game ends and we go our separate ways >someone with an airsoft gun with an incompletely painted orange tip tries to mug me in the parking lot >I smile and pull my very real CZ-82 out of my jacket pocket >he starts crying and says "no, no i'm sorry it was a fake!" >I say "I'm afraid for my life!" loud enough for people in earshot to hear it >he begs for mercy, I quickly check to make sure nobody has a line of sight to have seen it >I shoot him dead woke up with a s--- eating grin
File: 1540982682jpg.jpg (1.25 MB, 3840x2160) Anonymous 08/27/24(Tue)10:36:25 No.62377896 >>62382389 Sometimes my weapons appear in my dreams for me to use, which makes me happy Anonymous 08/27/24(Tue)22:43:44 No.62382389 >>62377896 (OP) I have one major gun dream I remember >>was watching a kid's soccer game with Artosis, of starcraft fame >some of the kids grabbed the goal of one team and started running around with it >laugh and say "those are future protoss players" >Arty and Tasteless laugh, Tasteless isn't wearing a shirt for some reason >game ends and we go our separate ways >someone with an airsoft gun with an incompletely painted orange tip tries to mug me in the parking lot >I smile and pull my very real CZ-82 out of my jacket pocket >he starts crying and says "no, no i'm sorry it was a fake!" >I say "I'm afraid for my life!" loud enough for people in earshot to hear it >he begs for mercy, I quickly check to make sure nobody has a line of sight to have seen it >I shoot him dead woke up with a s--- eating grin

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Anon has finally made it. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous | 52353826 1,5 MB JPG leri >have cute cardiobunny neighbour >she asks me if we can go running together >women running outside have been r---- and killed in our city, so she wants to take me with her for protection >we have been doing this once a week for a year, getting take out food afterwards Have I made it, /fit/? 34 REPLIES 63 IMAGES Anonymous 52353835 why haven't you r---- and killed her yet? 21 REPLIES REPLY leri ...
Anonymous | 52353826 1,5 MB JPG leri >have cute cardiobunny neighbour >she asks me if we can go running together >women running outside have been r---- and killed in our city, so she wants to take me with her for protection >we have been doing this once a week for a year, getting take out food afterwards Have I made it, /fit/? 34 REPLIES 63 IMAGES Anonymous 52353835 why haven't you r---- and killed her yet? 21 REPLIES REPLY leri ...

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Anon plays overw*tch 2 | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/28/24(Wed)00:05:55 No.686967313 45 KB JPG >playing overwatch 2 with mercy >little brother(15) walks in the room and stares at my screen >"WAIT, SHES FROM A GAME?" What causes this
: Anonymous 08/28/24(Wed)00:05:55 No.686967313 45 KB JPG >playing overwatch 2 with mercy >little brother(15) walks in the room and stares at my screen >"WAIT, SHES FROM A GAME?" What causes this

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man & girl go out | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 06/19/12(Tue)00:38 No.10311088 man & girl go out to drive under moonlight. they stop at on at a side of road. he turn to his girl and say: "baby, i love you very much" what is it honey?" "our car is broken down. i think the engine is broken. ill walk and get some more fuel." "ok, ill stay here and look after our stereo. there have been news report of steres being stolen" "good idea. keep the doors locked no matter what i love you sweaty" so the guy left to get full for the car. after two hours the girl say "where is my baby, he was supposed to be back by now. then the girl here a scratching sound and voice say "LET ME IN" the girl doesnt do it and then after a while she goes to sleep. the next morning she wakes up and finds her boyfriend still not there. she gets out to check and man door hand hook car door
Anonymous 06/19/12(Tue)00:38 No.10311088 man & girl go out to drive under moonlight. they stop at on at a side of road. he turn to his girl and say: "baby, i love you very much" what is it honey?" "our car is broken down. i think the engine is broken. ill walk and get some more fuel." "ok, ill stay here and look after our stereo. there have been news report of steres being stolen" "good idea. keep the doors locked no matter what i love you sweaty" so the guy left to get full for the car. after two hours the girl say "where is my baby, he was supposed to be back by now. then the girl here a scratching sound and voice say "LET ME IN" the girl doesnt do it and then after a while she goes to sleep. the next morning she wakes up and finds her boyfriend still not there. she gets out to check and man door hand hook car door

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