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anon crushes up plan B | /r/Greentext

File: 20221210_101040.jpg (50 KB, 700x517) Anonymous 12/28/22(Wed)10:56:29 No.71580147 [Reply] >>71581107 >meet up with friend to bone >have always liked her >we do the deed, went great >realized I came inside her >I told her, and said I would cover Plan B >"I'm sorry but I'm not taking it. I don't believe in that." >nofuckingway.jpg >she said she was ovulating >fuckfuckfuckfuck another victory >I ask to stay the night to calm my nerves, she lets me. >I don't sleep. I purposely stay awake until 5am, where I get up >"anon, where are you going so late?" >prepared for that, "Im having awful heart burn, I need to run to Walgreens" >she buys it, head to the 24/7 Walgreens and buy plan B. >morning comes, I'm making her breakfast. >I crush up plan B and mix it into water >she drinks it Anonymous 12/28/22(Wed)12:37:16 No.71581107 >>71581116 >>71580147 (OP) # You will always remember this moment as you reach your 30's and are still single and alone
File: 20221210_101040.jpg (50 KB, 700x517) Anonymous 12/28/22(Wed)10:56:29 No.71580147 [Reply] >>71581107 >meet up with friend to bone >have always liked her >we do the deed, went great >realized I came inside her >I told her, and said I would cover Plan B >"I'm sorry but I'm not taking it. I don't believe in that." >nofuckingway.jpg >she said she was ovulating >fuckfuckfuckfuck another victory >I ask to stay the night to calm my nerves, she lets me. >I don't sleep. I purposely stay awake until 5am, where I get up >"anon, where are you going so late?" >prepared for that, "Im having awful heart burn, I need to run to Walgreens" >she buys it, head to the 24/7 Walgreens and buy plan B. >morning comes, I'm making her breakfast. >I crush up plan B and mix it into water >she drinks it Anonymous 12/28/22(Wed)12:37:16 No.71581107 >>71581116 >>71580147 (OP) # You will always remember this moment as you reach your 30's and are still single and alone

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Anon is br*tish | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous a alamy alamy a 12/27/22(Tue)21:41:13 No.891524215 a a POLICE alamy a alamy LICE a brighton-uk-2-june-2012-police-move-in-to-take-away-a-man- supporting-CA3NWE~2.jpg 158 KB JPG >oy mate >ye were tryin ta ave a shag without avin a shaggin liscene were ya? >right'o mate off the nick ye go >oy cap'in this lad don't ave a knob liscene eitha! >bloody criminal scum wont be avin that now will we
: Anonymous a alamy alamy a 12/27/22(Tue)21:41:13 No.891524215 a a POLICE alamy a alamy LICE a brighton-uk-2-june-2012-police-move-in-to-take-away-a-man- supporting-CA3NWE~2.jpg 158 KB JPG >oy mate >ye were tryin ta ave a shag without avin a shaggin liscene were ya? >right'o mate off the nick ye go >oy cap'in this lad don't ave a knob liscene eitha! >bloody criminal scum wont be avin that now will we

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anon's gf has some requests.. | /r/Greentext

O gf into i----- Anonymous 12/25/22(Sun)22:44:49 No.71555366| >be me, 19 >manage to pull cute korean gf >dating for like 3 months all seems good >one day we f------ and she asks me to rp with her >asks for me to pretend im her older brother >do so cause im black shes asian we dont look alike its not that weird >>71555395 >>71555489 >>71555822 >recently shes been acting like im her older brother sometimes. sexual/nonsexual. Not all the time but still concerning >find out her brother used to "use" her when they were younger (not penetration but like everything else) >try to help her out but she still tries to rp with me sometimes what am i supposed to do. I want real advice fr this aint no larp thread of fantasy. should i try and get her therapy or what? she the best thing to ever happen to me and apart from this she is the greatest gf ive ever had pic unrelated
O gf into i----- Anonymous 12/25/22(Sun)22:44:49 No.71555366| >be me, 19 >manage to pull cute korean gf >dating for like 3 months all seems good >one day we f------ and she asks me to rp with her >asks for me to pretend im her older brother >do so cause im black shes asian we dont look alike its not that weird >>71555395 >>71555489 >>71555822 >recently shes been acting like im her older brother sometimes. sexual/nonsexual. Not all the time but still concerning >find out her brother used to "use" her when they were younger (not penetration but like everything else) >try to help her out but she still tries to rp with me sometimes what am i supposed to do. I want real advice fr this aint no larp thread of fantasy. should i try and get her therapy or what? she the best thing to ever happen to me and apart from this she is the greatest gf ive ever had pic unrelated

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Anon like benadryl | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 07/17/20 (Fri)19:26:10 No.25563814 >unlocks the ability to see ghosts, shadow people, aliens Benadryl ALLERGY TRATARS 24 39 KB JPG >astral projection and lifelike dreams >can talk to god and your dead relatives >cheap >safe >easily accessible why haven't you taken the pink pill Posted in r/schizoposters reddit
Anonymous 07/17/20 (Fri)19:26:10 No.25563814 >unlocks the ability to see ghosts, shadow people, aliens Benadryl ALLERGY TRATARS 24 39 KB JPG >astral projection and lifelike dreams >can talk to god and your dead relatives >cheap >safe >easily accessible why haven't you taken the pink pill Posted in r/schizoposters reddit

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Tyrone's last straw. | /r/Greentext

>>85296714 >teleports behind you* >"unsheathes magazine" >nothing personnel, n----
>>85296714 >teleports behind you* >"unsheathes magazine" >nothing personnel, n----

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Anon has an incel Christmas | /r/Greentext

⠀ onymous st Christmas 97 KB JPG 12/25/22(Sun)12:40:15 No.891372813 >be me >23 >at Christmas party with my family >grandma asks my roastie cousin about her 15th bf in the last 2 weeks >turns over to me >ohfuck.jpeg >look over at her >asks if I finally got a gf >think about a good lie to explain why I've never had a gf at 23 >after staring for 4 seconds at her I shout >"I'm gay" >whole family looks at me >my dad starts crying and leaves the room >he mumbles "I always knew" >dad drives away and he hasn't been seen in hours This is the worst f------ Christmas ever.
⠀ onymous st Christmas 97 KB JPG 12/25/22(Sun)12:40:15 No.891372813 >be me >23 >at Christmas party with my family >grandma asks my roastie cousin about her 15th bf in the last 2 weeks >turns over to me >ohfuck.jpeg >look over at her >asks if I finally got a gf >think about a good lie to explain why I've never had a gf at 23 >after staring for 4 seconds at her I shout >"I'm gay" >whole family looks at me >my dad starts crying and leaves the room >he mumbles "I always knew" >dad drives away and he hasn't been seen in hours This is the worst f------ Christmas ever.

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Anon says you have to eat all the eggs | /r/Greentext

File: 1344263299653.jpg-(118 KB, 750x561, 1342391823379.jpg) Anonymous 08/06/12(Mon)10:28 No. 150024827 Q >walk in the streets at night >see this >> Anonymous 08/06/12(Mon)10:46 No. 150026512 what do? A >Help her up and carry her disoriented body to my place. >Let her sleep on my bed as I sleep on the couch >Deal with her freak out when she wakes up. >Ask her if she's ok. >>150026512 Wizard detected school? Replies to this post: >>150024980 >>150025340 >>150025928 >>150025939 >>150026292 >>150026471 >>150026708 >>150027040 >>150027683 Anonymous 08/06/12(Mon)10:30 No.150024980 I >"You don't have to tell me what happened, but you do have to eat this." as I hand her a bowl of eggs. >Ask if she needs a ride home. >Tell her to take care. >>150024827 Offer her my coat to cover up and a ride home Replies to this post: >>150025020 >>150025330 Replies to this post >>150028816 >>150026884 >>150026870 >150026676 >>150028897 >>150026716 >>150026726 >>150026729 >>150026742 >>150026793 >>150028796 >>150026808 >>150026970 >>150027098 >>150027215 >>150027757 >>150027901 >>150027909 >>150028005 >>150028017 >>150028114 >>150028136 >>150028154 >>150028268 >>150028272 >>150028273 >>150028568 >> Anonymous 08/06/12(Mon)10:47 No. 150026676 >> Anonymous 08/06/12(Mon)10:48 No. File: 1344264509932.jpg-(102 KB, 480 Why are you doing this..? Anonymous 08/06/12(Mon)11:01 File: 1344265300847.png-(4 KB, 312x315, 1343878593548.png) >>150026512 >take her back to your place >think "You don't have to tell me what happened, but you do have to eat this" is al smooth line Jesus christ were you the creepy one at Anonymous 08/06/12(Mon)11:05 No. 150028268 QUA File: 1344265558447.png-(45 KB, 882x896, EAT ALL THE EGGS.png) You HAVE >>150026512 THE COGS Replies to this post: >>150028315 >>150028382 >>150028528 HIGH LEVEL Anonymous 08/06/12(Mon)11:00 >>150026512 >h-hi.. you a-wake? >wh- why are you screaming? >pls stop >h-here e-eggs >pl-please dont go >*door slams* >I love you too >>150026512 YOU HAVE TO EAT ALL THE EGGS Anonymous 08/06/12(Mon)10:47 No.1500266 File: 1344264432937.png-(265 KB, 334x393, 1 EMBARRASSING >>150026512 why are you [doing This...?)
File: 1344263299653.jpg-(118 KB, 750x561, 1342391823379.jpg) Anonymous 08/06/12(Mon)10:28 No. 150024827 Q >walk in the streets at night >see this >> Anonymous 08/06/12(Mon)10:46 No. 150026512 what do? A >Help her up and carry her disoriented body to my place. >Let her sleep on my bed as I sleep on the couch >Deal with her freak out when she wakes up. >Ask her if she's ok. >>150026512 Wizard detected school? Replies to this post: >>150024980 >>150025340 >>150025928 >>150025939 >>150026292 >>150026471 >>150026708 >>150027040 >>150027683 Anonymous 08/06/12(Mon)10:30 No.150024980 I >"You don't have to tell me what happened, but you do have to eat this." as I hand her a bowl of eggs. >Ask if she needs a ride home. >Tell her to take care. >>150024827 Offer her my coat to cover up and a ride home Replies to this post: >>150025020 >>150025330 Replies to this post >>150028816 >>150026884 >>150026870 >150026676 >>150028897 >>150026716 >>150026726 >>150026729 >>150026742 >>150026793 >>150028796 >>150026808 >>150026970 >>150027098 >>150027215 >>150027757 >>150027901 >>150027909 >>150028005 >>150028017 >>150028114 >>150028136 >>150028154 >>150028268 >>150028272 >>150028273 >>150028568 >> Anonymous 08/06/12(Mon)10:47 No. 150026676 >> Anonymous 08/06/12(Mon)10:48 No. File: 1344264509932.jpg-(102 KB, 480 Why are you doing this..? Anonymous 08/06/12(Mon)11:01 File: 1344265300847.png-(4 KB, 312x315, 1343878593548.png) >>150026512 >take her back to your place >think "You don't have to tell me what happened, but you do have to eat this" is al smooth line Jesus christ were you the creepy one at Anonymous 08/06/12(Mon)11:05 No. 150028268 QUA File: 1344265558447.png-(45 KB, 882x896, EAT ALL THE EGGS.png) You HAVE >>150026512 THE COGS Replies to this post: >>150028315 >>150028382 >>150028528 HIGH LEVEL Anonymous 08/06/12(Mon)11:00 >>150026512 >h-hi.. you a-wake? >wh- why are you screaming? >pls stop >h-here e-eggs >pl-please dont go >*door slams* >I love you too >>150026512 YOU HAVE TO EAT ALL THE EGGS Anonymous 08/06/12(Mon)10:47 No.1500266 File: 1344264432937.png-(265 KB, 334x393, 1 EMBARRASSING >>150026512 why are you [doing This...?)

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Anon counters womens | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 14 KB JPG 07/28/21 (Wed)13:52:30 No.64744920 >>64744771 (OP) # >womens spend money and time moisturizing themselves >dry up instantly when they see me Heh, nothing personell womens
: Anonymous 14 KB JPG 07/28/21 (Wed)13:52:30 No.64744920 >>64744771 (OP) # >womens spend money and time moisturizing themselves >dry up instantly when they see me Heh, nothing personell womens

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Anon has a fun time | /r/Greentext

@hert 73BCDC2C-F570-4468-A4DB-81578C19DE1C.jpg 61 KB JPG >eat edible >kicks in after an hour >walk up to random old lady in the street >'motorboat your expired milk jugs, I must' I say in yoda's voice >pass out on the jailcell floor for 11 hours Im 37
@hert 73BCDC2C-F570-4468-A4DB-81578C19DE1C.jpg 61 KB JPG >eat edible >kicks in after an hour >walk up to random old lady in the street >'motorboat your expired milk jugs, I must' I say in yoda's voice >pass out on the jailcell floor for 11 hours Im 37

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Anon makes a DnD character | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 09/25/11(Sun)23:15 No.16426614 File 1317006946.jpg-(96 KB, 634x456, sir bearington.jpg) LY >Make a bear character in D&D 3.5 >DM laughs >Make bear a rogue, put every point I can into disguise >Prestige class as a spy to get more disguise >DM says I can't speak english >Max out bluff >By growling and gesturing, I can fake speaking a language I don't speak (english) >use money to hire a butler NPC >Give him magical item to let him speak bear "GROWWWWWL" "An excellent suggestion, Mister Bearington. We really should ask the group to investigate the Black Marsh >Over the course of the game, be knighted as Sir Bearington >Queen holds a dinner in my honor. >A guest becomes the first man to ever make a perception check that can beat my disguise >Shouts out loud "HEY, THAT GUY'S NOT A GUY, HE'S JUST A BEAR!" >Man is escorted out of the castle while the guards apologise profusely for the indignity "We're so sorry, Sir Bearington, very sorry for this man's behavior" "ROAR" *shrug*
Anonymous 09/25/11(Sun)23:15 No.16426614 File 1317006946.jpg-(96 KB, 634x456, sir bearington.jpg) LY >Make a bear character in D&D 3.5 >DM laughs >Make bear a rogue, put every point I can into disguise >Prestige class as a spy to get more disguise >DM says I can't speak english >Max out bluff >By growling and gesturing, I can fake speaking a language I don't speak (english) >use money to hire a butler NPC >Give him magical item to let him speak bear "GROWWWWWL" "An excellent suggestion, Mister Bearington. We really should ask the group to investigate the Black Marsh >Over the course of the game, be knighted as Sir Bearington >Queen holds a dinner in my honor. >A guest becomes the first man to ever make a perception check that can beat my disguise >Shouts out loud "HEY, THAT GUY'S NOT A GUY, HE'S JUST A BEAR!" >Man is escorted out of the castle while the guards apologise profusely for the indignity "We're so sorry, Sir Bearington, very sorry for this man's behavior" "ROAR" *shrug*

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anon visits 4chan | /r/Greentext

⠀ onymous 94 KB GIF 12/27/22(Tue) 14:52:52 No.891477559 >be me 18 >heard about this place 4chan >decide to pay it a visit >first board i enter /b/ >one of the first threads is traps >"hmm, what's a trap, meh, i'll check it." >oblivious af >"hmm, wow she is a cutie" >scroll more >"wait, is that a d---?" >mfw they're actual men >mfw their dongs are way bigger than mine >mfw
⠀ onymous 94 KB GIF 12/27/22(Tue) 14:52:52 No.891477559 >be me 18 >heard about this place 4chan >decide to pay it a visit >first board i enter /b/ >one of the first threads is traps >"hmm, what's a trap, meh, i'll check it." >oblivious af >"hmm, wow she is a cutie" >scroll more >"wait, is that a d---?" >mfw they're actual men >mfw their dongs are way bigger than mine >mfw

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Anon works at McDonald’s. | /r/Greentext

M Anonymous No.601464164 34 minutes ago Ask a guy who works at McDonalds anything 1 reply 17 replies Anonymous No.601464417 32 minutes ago >>601464164 (OP) where do you work Anonymous No.601464445 32 minutes ago >>601464417 McDonalds
M Anonymous No.601464164 34 minutes ago Ask a guy who works at McDonalds anything 1 reply 17 replies Anonymous No.601464417 32 minutes ago >>601464164 (OP) where do you work Anonymous No.601464445 32 minutes ago >>601464417 McDonalds

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Anon gets trolled | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 07/24/21 (Sat)11:15:29 No.64694127 File: 1626895392803.png (132 KB, 400x346) >be happy >next day >>64690732 (OP) >Be me >13 >she texts me back >call her beautiful, say she is the prettiest girl in the class, all that bs >Text a little more, indirectly but very obviously express my feelings >next day im school >she says I'm pretty >I had bad acne >never had gf >bullied in school >attracted to this one girl >text her >few days later >be in love >we talk in school >she says we are in a relationship >be very happy >She says she wants to break up >be sad >find out she trolled me, sent the bullies screenshots of our texts >bullies make fun of me >mfw the bullies used her to hurt me >mfw it f------ hurt
Anonymous 07/24/21 (Sat)11:15:29 No.64694127 File: 1626895392803.png (132 KB, 400x346) >be happy >next day >>64690732 (OP) >Be me >13 >she texts me back >call her beautiful, say she is the prettiest girl in the class, all that bs >Text a little more, indirectly but very obviously express my feelings >next day im school >she says I'm pretty >I had bad acne >never had gf >bullied in school >attracted to this one girl >text her >few days later >be in love >we talk in school >she says we are in a relationship >be very happy >She says she wants to break up >be sad >find out she trolled me, sent the bullies screenshots of our texts >bullies make fun of me >mfw the bullies used her to hurt me >mfw it f------ hurt

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Friendly reminder to be careful with fireworks, anons. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 107 KB PNG 12/31/20(Thu)23:22:04 No.843664733 >new years 2012 >at friends house f------ with fireworks >friend lets go of one too late >blows up hand >see a finger go flying >grab it >call ambulance for dumbass Was so worth it >put finger on string to make a necklace >give it to him as a gift on his birthday a couple weeks later >he just looks at me with pure hate >mfw i try to pick his nose with it and he starts trying to choke me
: Anonymous 107 KB PNG 12/31/20(Thu)23:22:04 No.843664733 >new years 2012 >at friends house f------ with fireworks >friend lets go of one too late >blows up hand >see a finger go flying >grab it >call ambulance for dumbass Was so worth it >put finger on string to make a necklace >give it to him as a gift on his birthday a couple weeks later >he just looks at me with pure hate >mfw i try to pick his nose with it and he starts trying to choke me

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anon's balls itch | /r/Greentext

onymous 7 KB JPG : Anonymous 71 KB JPG : Anonymous 12/27/22(Tue)02:09:17 No.69381734 51 KB JPG >balls itch >scratch balls >balls start to bleed from scratching 12/27/22(Tue)03:14:27 No.69382044 >balls itch >scratch balls >balls start to bleed from scratching : Anonymous >ass itches >scratch ass >ass starts to bleed from scratching 12/27/22(Tue)03:33:28 No.69382102 12/27/22(Tue)03:41:17 No.69382128 >itch balls >balls scratch >bleed starts to scratch from balls
onymous 7 KB JPG : Anonymous 71 KB JPG : Anonymous 12/27/22(Tue)02:09:17 No.69381734 51 KB JPG >balls itch >scratch balls >balls start to bleed from scratching 12/27/22(Tue)03:14:27 No.69382044 >balls itch >scratch balls >balls start to bleed from scratching : Anonymous >ass itches >scratch ass >ass starts to bleed from scratching 12/27/22(Tue)03:33:28 No.69382102 12/27/22(Tue)03:41:17 No.69382128 >itch balls >balls scratch >bleed starts to scratch from balls

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Anon uncovers a new fetish | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 12/27/22(Tue)12:16:42 No.891487705 >4am >drunk as f--- >getting a b------ in a dirty train station toilet from my gf at the time >she's on her knees 195 KB PNG >I'm standing up >need to piss halfway through >d--- switches streams >start pissing in her mouth by accident >she spits it out in disgust >holds my d--- in front of her face >she looks mad >really mad >but is still just holding it, letting the stream run down her face >opens her mouth slightly so some gets in there >I finish pissing >she yanks my shirt so I'm down on the ground with her >she starts kissing me with my piss all over her lips >we start f------ on the dirty bathroom floor >I last ages because I had to switch gears >c-- so f----- hard and that's when I found out I had a fetish for degrading women
Anonymous 12/27/22(Tue)12:16:42 No.891487705 >4am >drunk as f--- >getting a b------ in a dirty train station toilet from my gf at the time >she's on her knees 195 KB PNG >I'm standing up >need to piss halfway through >d--- switches streams >start pissing in her mouth by accident >she spits it out in disgust >holds my d--- in front of her face >she looks mad >really mad >but is still just holding it, letting the stream run down her face >opens her mouth slightly so some gets in there >I finish pissing >she yanks my shirt so I'm down on the ground with her >she starts kissing me with my piss all over her lips >we start f------ on the dirty bathroom floor >I last ages because I had to switch gears >c-- so f----- hard and that's when I found out I had a fetish for degrading women

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