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Double trouble | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/01/24(Mon) 18:10:31 No.681436626 DAW MANN TAIN TAIN MAIN me MANN PRESIDENTIAL DEBATE image_2024-07-01_180239440.png 500 KB PNG LIVE MANN 7:49 PM MT >"My opponent Blutarch has been handling the gravel wars terribly, frankly, it's a disaster. 4 Spies, 2 Snipers, no Medic, you can't do it! You're on Badwater Offense, you just can't do it!"
: Anonymous 07/01/24(Mon) 18:10:31 No.681436626 DAW MANN TAIN TAIN MAIN me MANN PRESIDENTIAL DEBATE image_2024-07-01_180239440.png 500 KB PNG LIVE MANN 7:49 PM MT >"My opponent Blutarch has been handling the gravel wars terribly, frankly, it's a disaster. 4 Spies, 2 Snipers, no Medic, you can't do it! You're on Badwater Offense, you just can't do it!"

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anon has a pron addciton | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 02/28/15(Sat)09:00:34 No.601034522 >Be me >Have super ashy skin (I'm white) >So bad that in the mid- summer I sometimes bleed 74 KB JPG from my skin cracking >Go to dermatologist >Get this lotion thats supposed to help >300 dollars a bottle >Get home >J------- with it
Anonymous 02/28/15(Sat)09:00:34 No.601034522 >Be me >Have super ashy skin (I'm white) >So bad that in the mid- summer I sometimes bleed 74 KB JPG from my skin cracking >Go to dermatologist >Get this lotion thats supposed to help >300 dollars a bottle >Get home >J------- with it

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Mario and Wario type shit. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 11/26/23(Sun)18:21:03 No.140842492 AP440518012-1024x640.jpg 150 KB JPG >>140842410 (OP) # >Evil dictator is named Hitler >Second in command is named Himmler Who wrote this s---
Anonymous 11/26/23(Sun)18:21:03 No.140842492 AP440518012-1024x640.jpg 150 KB JPG >>140842410 (OP) # >Evil dictator is named Hitler >Second in command is named Himmler Who wrote this s---

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My Mom Left | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/03/18(Sun)09:54:07 53 KB JPG >my mom left school at 16 due to poverty >never showed much interest in books, music etc >retired last year >has since been reading through all the books I left in boxes at home >her enthusiasm for reading is so pure I feel bad for not enjoying reading that much these days >she kept asking me if I was writing a book and said she could "never do that" >picked up the hint and encouraged her to give it a go, without getting my hopes up >tfw she sent me a story she wrote about two rabbits who become friends >tfw it made me cry and feels more honest than anything I've written How to cope with this feel bros? I love my mum so much.
: Anonymous 06/03/18(Sun)09:54:07 53 KB JPG >my mom left school at 16 due to poverty >never showed much interest in books, music etc >retired last year >has since been reading through all the books I left in boxes at home >her enthusiasm for reading is so pure I feel bad for not enjoying reading that much these days >she kept asking me if I was writing a book and said she could "never do that" >picked up the hint and encouraged her to give it a go, without getting my hopes up >tfw she sent me a story she wrote about two rabbits who become friends >tfw it made me cry and feels more honest than anything I've written How to cope with this feel bros? I love my mum so much.

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Anon is a cotard | /r/Greentext

And Wyd if you are a living corpse? Wyd if you are a living corpse(...) Cose Cook GOOD Reset 55 KB PNG Done 07/01/24(Mon)23:45:21 No.78014070 >smashed my head against the wall 3 days ago >everything around me started smelling rotten in a sour way despite me showering daily and having good hygiene >small bugs like flies and mosquitos started oribiting me for no reason at all >metabolism started slowing down, rarely feeling hungry or sleepy anymore despite being a lazy glutton before >started feel less and less emotional, just feels empty and drained 24/7 >stopped being able to control my muscles, walk with limp legs and raises my voice at random Am I f------ dead and just controlling my dead body? Does that mean dead ghost girls are now game without me being a necrophile? Anonymous 07/01/24(Mon)23:46:44 No.78014082 >>78014070 (OP) # It means you're a brain damaged retard who needs to go to a medical professional
And Wyd if you are a living corpse? Wyd if you are a living corpse(...) Cose Cook GOOD Reset 55 KB PNG Done 07/01/24(Mon)23:45:21 No.78014070 >smashed my head against the wall 3 days ago >everything around me started smelling rotten in a sour way despite me showering daily and having good hygiene >small bugs like flies and mosquitos started oribiting me for no reason at all >metabolism started slowing down, rarely feeling hungry or sleepy anymore despite being a lazy glutton before >started feel less and less emotional, just feels empty and drained 24/7 >stopped being able to control my muscles, walk with limp legs and raises my voice at random Am I f------ dead and just controlling my dead body? Does that mean dead ghost girls are now game without me being a necrophile? Anonymous 07/01/24(Mon)23:46:44 No.78014082 >>78014070 (OP) # It means you're a brain damaged retard who needs to go to a medical professional

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Comic life | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/01/24(Mon) 13:41:43 No.200736402 OH, I'VE WASTED MY LIFE images (67).jpg 10 KB JPG >owns a successful business >plenty of friends >highly knowledgeable >spends all day enjoying his hobby >BUT HE WASTED HIS LIFE BECAUSE HE DIDN'T PUT HIS D--- IN A WET HOLE, OK??? Why did the writers do him dirty like this? What's wrong with this guy's life?
: Anonymous 07/01/24(Mon) 13:41:43 No.200736402 OH, I'VE WASTED MY LIFE images (67).jpg 10 KB JPG >owns a successful business >plenty of friends >highly knowledgeable >spends all day enjoying his hobby >BUT HE WASTED HIS LIFE BECAUSE HE DIDN'T PUT HIS D--- IN A WET HOLE, OK??? Why did the writers do him dirty like this? What's wrong with this guy's life?

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Democranon Hates West Virginia | /r/Greentext

Board /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 Anonymous West Virginia ▼Settings Mobile Home 06/30/24(Sun)17:22:08 No.78005751 STATE OF WEST VIRGINIA 216 KB PNG >Lowest Income >Highest Poverty >Least Educated >Worst Healthcare >Highest circumcision >Worst Infrastructure >Least Job Opportunities >Lowest Life expectancy >Highest Obesity This really is the worst state. Why do they clown on Blue states when they wont fix their own problems? Anonymous 107 KB JPG 06/30/24(Sun)17:24:52 No.78005769 Damn, even their flag is s---...
Board /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 Anonymous West Virginia ▼Settings Mobile Home 06/30/24(Sun)17:22:08 No.78005751 STATE OF WEST VIRGINIA 216 KB PNG >Lowest Income >Highest Poverty >Least Educated >Worst Healthcare >Highest circumcision >Worst Infrastructure >Least Job Opportunities >Lowest Life expectancy >Highest Obesity This really is the worst state. Why do they clown on Blue states when they wont fix their own problems? Anonymous 107 KB JPG 06/30/24(Sun)17:24:52 No.78005769 Damn, even their flag is s---...

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Strange to think that there were cartoon spin-offs of RoboCop, The Toxic Avenger, Rambo, Conan the B...

☐ Anonymous 01/04/24(Thu)10:11:36 No.194304151 ► File: 0_hvBspndHQTNmJaUC.jpg (104 KB, 1400x865) >>194303823 >Lewis you stupid BITCH. I need Robocop tonight so that I can improve his robocock stamina by 1.4%!
☐ Anonymous 01/04/24(Thu)10:11:36 No.194304151 ► File: 0_hvBspndHQTNmJaUC.jpg (104 KB, 1400x865) >>194303823 >Lewis you stupid BITCH. I need Robocop tonight so that I can improve his robocock stamina by 1.4%!

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Anon works as phone salesman | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 03/15/21(Mon) 15:11:46 No.849659169 >be me >work as a phone salesman >95% of calls are old peope >nobody ever actually buys anything 110 KB PNG just want to talk >get paid per time spent in calls >most old people are lonely and >talk to old people about how they water their plants for hours >basically everyone at my job just talks to old people for 12 hours a day >even have regular callers that know us by names >supposed to advertise products but i actually just talk to grandma Lauren every day for 8 hours about how she used to live back in the day >she appears to forget what she said, repeats the same thing 10s of times. >my job is basically to register when Lauren made a pause in her speech and say "Very interesting, keep going"
Anonymous 03/15/21(Mon) 15:11:46 No.849659169 >be me >work as a phone salesman >95% of calls are old peope >nobody ever actually buys anything 110 KB PNG just want to talk >get paid per time spent in calls >most old people are lonely and >talk to old people about how they water their plants for hours >basically everyone at my job just talks to old people for 12 hours a day >even have regular callers that know us by names >supposed to advertise products but i actually just talk to grandma Lauren every day for 8 hours about how she used to live back in the day >she appears to forget what she said, repeats the same thing 10s of times. >my job is basically to register when Lauren made a pause in her speech and say "Very interesting, keep going"

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Anon discusses the water cycle | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/01/24(Mon)00:54:22 No.16262445 >be drop of water in ocean >exist for millions of years >evaporate and exist as clouds >fly down to earth as rain >repeat this beautiful dance for millennia >witness evolution of life 156 KB JPG >see humans build cities >one day land in man made lake >go down pipe >come out pipe into cup >swallowed by human >p----- out through R Kelly's diseased c--- onto a 12 year olds face Humans ruin everything.
: Anonymous 07/01/24(Mon)00:54:22 No.16262445 >be drop of water in ocean >exist for millions of years >evaporate and exist as clouds >fly down to earth as rain >repeat this beautiful dance for millennia >witness evolution of life 156 KB JPG >see humans build cities >one day land in man made lake >go down pipe >come out pipe into cup >swallowed by human >p----- out through R Kelly's diseased c--- onto a 12 year olds face Humans ruin everything.

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Don't underestimate a samurai | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous What went wrong? 06/23/24(Sun)19:49:30 No.200399640 汇 FE878B95-CE4D-46C5-A65C-F641D4501F51.png 111 KB PNG >immortal demon >transcends time and space >unrivaled conqueror of the universe >defeated by a dude in sandals How did he let this happen?
: Anonymous What went wrong? 06/23/24(Sun)19:49:30 No.200399640 汇 FE878B95-CE4D-46C5-A65C-F641D4501F51.png 111 KB PNG >immortal demon >transcends time and space >unrivaled conqueror of the universe >defeated by a dude in sandals How did he let this happen?

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Anon and the nanny | /r/Greentext

old >go to dinner with my dad, his friend, his friends wife, their newborn and 2-3 year old...and their "nanny" (who is really his friends daughter). >dad's friend: "Hey (the nanny) cooks! We should do a dinner party" >my dad: "Yeah!" >dad's friend: "Okay [Nanny] and [Anon] you both get together and put together the party" >obvious-setup.png >not sure what else to do so I give her my number >dinner party is like 15 people now, including the nanny's dad I feel super awkward about this. I got a text today with her menu and she seems very excited, but, I feel super awkward that I think this is just a ploy for my dad and his buddy to set me up with his nanny/friends daughter. It also feels kinda creepy because I'm 36 and she's apparently 22. I don't even know what I'm asking I'm just hoping some anons might lend some advice. How do I handle this? How do I not make this awkward? The menu the nanny made looks incredible though, I'm f------ impressed.
old >go to dinner with my dad, his friend, his friends wife, their newborn and 2-3 year old...and their "nanny" (who is really his friends daughter). >dad's friend: "Hey (the nanny) cooks! We should do a dinner party" >my dad: "Yeah!" >dad's friend: "Okay [Nanny] and [Anon] you both get together and put together the party" >obvious-setup.png >not sure what else to do so I give her my number >dinner party is like 15 people now, including the nanny's dad I feel super awkward about this. I got a text today with her menu and she seems very excited, but, I feel super awkward that I think this is just a ploy for my dad and his buddy to set me up with his nanny/friends daughter. It also feels kinda creepy because I'm 36 and she's apparently 22. I don't even know what I'm asking I'm just hoping some anons might lend some advice. How do I handle this? How do I not make this awkward? The menu the nanny made looks incredible though, I'm f------ impressed.

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Anon is happy | /r/Greentext

54 KB PNG >Be me >See a group of turkeys in a van >Immitate the sound of yelping >The turkeys yelp back >Die of laughter >Day instantly becomes better Truly life is good
54 KB PNG >Be me >See a group of turkeys in a van >Immitate the sound of yelping >The turkeys yelp back >Die of laughter >Day instantly becomes better Truly life is good

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The autistic exorcist | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 86 KB JPG 06/22/24(Sat)00:34:36 No.200342826 >Mom looks mad as she gets home from parent teacher conference >Says my teachers have told her I refuse to go to science class because they teach "apostasy" >Shake my head at this woman who, like Eve, has been seduced by the demon of secular education >Begin to chant in Latin under my breath as I retrieve a vial of holy water (blessed by myself, for I can trust no other priest in this fallen town) from my makeshift bathrobe/cassock >Uncork the holy water vial as my Mom goes on about how "embarrassing it is to have a son with autism" >Splash her in the face while cursing Diabolus and demanding he withdraw his infernal Legions from her witchy mind >Mom confiscates my holy water and now I can't watch Pope's Exorcist again until I apologize In times like these I feel only Russel Crowe and I really understand the infernal threat we're facing. God help the rest of you.
: Anonymous 86 KB JPG 06/22/24(Sat)00:34:36 No.200342826 >Mom looks mad as she gets home from parent teacher conference >Says my teachers have told her I refuse to go to science class because they teach "apostasy" >Shake my head at this woman who, like Eve, has been seduced by the demon of secular education >Begin to chant in Latin under my breath as I retrieve a vial of holy water (blessed by myself, for I can trust no other priest in this fallen town) from my makeshift bathrobe/cassock >Uncork the holy water vial as my Mom goes on about how "embarrassing it is to have a son with autism" >Splash her in the face while cursing Diabolus and demanding he withdraw his infernal Legions from her witchy mind >Mom confiscates my holy water and now I can't watch Pope's Exorcist again until I apologize In times like these I feel only Russel Crowe and I really understand the infernal threat we're facing. God help the rest of you.

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United We Stand | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/24/24(Mon) 12:23:21 No.77935053 507.jpg 20 KB JPG >Source? SOURCE? where's your source? >I'm too stupid to learn things on my own and apply critical thinking, I need to be spoonfed. >SOOOURCE
: Anonymous 06/24/24(Mon) 12:23:21 No.77935053 507.jpg 20 KB JPG >Source? SOURCE? where's your source? >I'm too stupid to learn things on my own and apply critical thinking, I need to be spoonfed. >SOOOURCE

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Anon is into wrench wenches | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/01/24(Sat) 13:09:27 No.678279368 171720632957476.jpg 352 KB JPG What's this type of character called? 10
: Anonymous 06/01/24(Sat) 13:09:27 No.678279368 171720632957476.jpg 352 KB JPG What's this type of character called? 10

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