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Anon plays cricket | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 714912237 >be me >6'2" white dude >phone bill is due >use Cricket >used a fake name for the account because they don't check ID >don't remember what it is >go to Cricket store >black dude working >give him my number >he looks up my name with my phone number >"Tyrone Watermelon" >ohfuck.jpg >he looks shocked >looks up at me >"your name is Tyrone Watermelon?" >straight face >"Yes." >"really?" >"Yeah." >pay my bill >all he can say is "...have a nice day" >leave >mfw
Anonymous 714912237 >be me >6'2" white dude >phone bill is due >use Cricket >used a fake name for the account because they don't check ID >don't remember what it is >go to Cricket store >black dude working >give him my number >he looks up my name with my phone number >"Tyrone Watermelon" >ohfuck.jpg >he looks shocked >looks up at me >"your name is Tyrone Watermelon?" >straight face >"Yes." >"really?" >"Yeah." >pay my bill >all he can say is "...have a nice day" >leave >mfw

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Considering some of the phases I went through, this isn't too bad | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 08/10/18(Fri)18:26:22 No.47414971 1524085735334.jpg 122 KB JPG >tfw had a general grievous phase when i was younger >would wrap a blanket around my shoulders like a cape while walking around hunched over coughing and doing the voice i-i wasn't the only one right?
Anonymous 08/10/18(Fri)18:26:22 No.47414971 1524085735334.jpg 122 KB JPG >tfw had a general grievous phase when i was younger >would wrap a blanket around my shoulders like a cape while walking around hunched over coughing and doing the voice i-i wasn't the only one right?

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Having fun isn't hard when you've got a library card | /r/Greentext

File: Bookshelf_JE4_BE2.png (5 KB, 300x300) ☐ Anonymous 09/30/20(Wed)20:41:46 No.526745842 >>526746342 >>526747310 >>5 >small shelf of books takes longer to make than a portal to another dimension >> Anonymous 09/30/20(Wed)20:44:31 No.526746141 >>526746301 >>526746545 Its because books are portals to the dimension of imagination. Anonymous 09/30/20(Wed)20:46:07 No.526746301 >>526746141 f--- off librarian >>526746545
File: Bookshelf_JE4_BE2.png (5 KB, 300x300) ☐ Anonymous 09/30/20(Wed)20:41:46 No.526745842 >>526746342 >>526747310 >>5 >small shelf of books takes longer to make than a portal to another dimension >> Anonymous 09/30/20(Wed)20:44:31 No.526746141 >>526746301 >>526746545 Its because books are portals to the dimension of imagination. Anonymous 09/30/20(Wed)20:46:07 No.526746301 >>526746141 f--- off librarian >>526746545

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Fiery Ambush | /r/Greentext

Anonymous Crimean War Date Crimean War Attack on the Mask by me 18 October 1855-30 Mards 1950 years 5 months and 2 weeks) Location Cart Cart Result Sea Bbc S Who Sea East Netay Territorial Russa loses the Danube Dan changes ed Kroon Settra mad Belligerents 195 KB PNG 07/19/24(Fri)08:32:05 No.16867858 >Be Russia >Demand the Ottomans let you be in charge of your christian minority >"no w--" >Take the Danubian Principalities >Brtian and France come over and kick your s--- in w-- was their problem? 07/19/24(Fri)09:41:49 No.16868024 : Anonymous >>16867858 (OP) # Anus.
Anonymous Crimean War Date Crimean War Attack on the Mask by me 18 October 1855-30 Mards 1950 years 5 months and 2 weeks) Location Cart Cart Result Sea Bbc S Who Sea East Netay Territorial Russa loses the Danube Dan changes ed Kroon Settra mad Belligerents 195 KB PNG 07/19/24(Fri)08:32:05 No.16867858 >Be Russia >Demand the Ottomans let you be in charge of your christian minority >"no w--" >Take the Danubian Principalities >Brtian and France come over and kick your s--- in w-- was their problem? 07/19/24(Fri)09:41:49 No.16868024 : Anonymous >>16867858 (OP) # Anus.

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Anon remembers Toonami | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 08/21/21(Sat)21:30:53 No. 125267681 ALLS 1456937265985.jpg 32 KB JPG Toonami will never air >Hank: Propane Peggy >My Grilling Arlen Elementary >Boomhower: Princess Clean-Gas >Grilling Wars >Black Comedian >Hankruto: Proppuden
Anonymous 08/21/21(Sat)21:30:53 No. 125267681 ALLS 1456937265985.jpg 32 KB JPG Toonami will never air >Hank: Propane Peggy >My Grilling Arlen Elementary >Boomhower: Princess Clean-Gas >Grilling Wars >Black Comedian >Hankruto: Proppuden

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Anon gets a cat | /r/Greentext

Anonymous Annoying cat making my life a (...) 56 KB JPG 09/27/24(Fri)11:47:52 No.78945477 >buy a kitten off of Craigslist after my old cat passed away >Immediately bond to it, treat it for fleas and buy the most quality kitten food, lots of toys and love >Have it fixed at eight months old due to hyperactivity >Fast forward 12 months >Cat refuses to stay off counters and I have to scream at it 20x daily to not track dirt/grime where I eat >Cat will intentionally go into my carpeted room where it knows it's not allowed and proceed to scratch at my carpet WHEN I'VE PROVIDED SCRATCHING POSTS for the sheer intention of pissing me off and getting me to chase it away >Cat is constantly starving and screams for food no matter how much I provide >Cat harasses and provokes my senor chill ass dog How am I supposed to cope with this s---? I'm basically a slave to the cat and spend my day 24/7 cleaning up after it, screaming at it and providing it distractions. I've been reduced to locking it in a room when I want to relax/not be tormented.
Anonymous Annoying cat making my life a (...) 56 KB JPG 09/27/24(Fri)11:47:52 No.78945477 >buy a kitten off of Craigslist after my old cat passed away >Immediately bond to it, treat it for fleas and buy the most quality kitten food, lots of toys and love >Have it fixed at eight months old due to hyperactivity >Fast forward 12 months >Cat refuses to stay off counters and I have to scream at it 20x daily to not track dirt/grime where I eat >Cat will intentionally go into my carpeted room where it knows it's not allowed and proceed to scratch at my carpet WHEN I'VE PROVIDED SCRATCHING POSTS for the sheer intention of pissing me off and getting me to chase it away >Cat is constantly starving and screams for food no matter how much I provide >Cat harasses and provokes my senor chill ass dog How am I supposed to cope with this s---? I'm basically a slave to the cat and spend my day 24/7 cleaning up after it, screaming at it and providing it distractions. I've been reduced to locking it in a room when I want to relax/not be tormented.

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Anon gets surprised | /r/Greentext

Anonymous My desire 12/03/18(Mon)23:19:50 No.49648068 >be me >fap to p--- daily >damn I wish girls were real 1.62 MB JPG : Anonymous 12/03/18(Mon)23:21:40 No.49648098 Have I got a surprise for you f-----
Anonymous My desire 12/03/18(Mon)23:19:50 No.49648068 >be me >fap to p--- daily >damn I wish girls were real 1.62 MB JPG : Anonymous 12/03/18(Mon)23:21:40 No.49648098 Have I got a surprise for you f-----

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Anon orders a "fat tiddy goth mommy gf' | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/25/24(Wed)22:41:34 No.78925951 henlo fren, is this gf department? I want a fat tiddy goth mommy gf pwease! 50 KB JPG Anonymous 124 KB JPG Anonymous 09/25/24(Wed) 22:44:04 No.78925970 >>78925951 (OP) # sorry, you've reached the based department. would you like me to put you through to the gf department? 09/25/24(Wed) 22:49:12 No.78926021 >>78925951 (OP) # One fat tiddy goth mommy gf coming right up, sir. 102 KP IDO
: Anonymous 09/25/24(Wed)22:41:34 No.78925951 henlo fren, is this gf department? I want a fat tiddy goth mommy gf pwease! 50 KB JPG Anonymous 124 KB JPG Anonymous 09/25/24(Wed) 22:44:04 No.78925970 >>78925951 (OP) # sorry, you've reached the based department. would you like me to put you through to the gf department? 09/25/24(Wed) 22:49:12 No.78926021 >>78925951 (OP) # One fat tiddy goth mommy gf coming right up, sir. 102 KP IDO

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Divine efficiency | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 09/17/24(Tue)08:53:50 No.102421983 download (8).jpg 139 KB JPG >power draw of a human brain: 20W >power draw of a 4090: 450W Al is a pale imitation of God's creation
Anonymous 09/17/24(Tue)08:53:50 No.102421983 download (8).jpg 139 KB JPG >power draw of a human brain: 20W >power draw of a 4090: 450W Al is a pale imitation of God's creation

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Anon gets sleepy | /r/Greentext

Anonymous | 50347285 10,8 KB JPG Vor 2 Std. ••• Degenerate stuff you've done recently >last night >45 minute commute home from work >cruising down the highway, not a car in sight >tired, getting sleepy >vision getting blurry >still 15 minutes from home >decide to casually stroke my d--- through my jeans just to wake myself up >it works almost instantly >keep doing it so I don't get sleepy >get hard, starts to feel pretty good >realize that I'm probably awake enough to get home but don't want to stop >keep rubbing faster >c-- in my pants >have to sit in it for 10 more minutes >start getting sleepy again 1 REPLY 2 IMAGES Anonymous | 50347463 put me in the screencap redditorbro REPLY Vor 1 Std.
Anonymous | 50347285 10,8 KB JPG Vor 2 Std. ••• Degenerate stuff you've done recently >last night >45 minute commute home from work >cruising down the highway, not a car in sight >tired, getting sleepy >vision getting blurry >still 15 minutes from home >decide to casually stroke my d--- through my jeans just to wake myself up >it works almost instantly >keep doing it so I don't get sleepy >get hard, starts to feel pretty good >realize that I'm probably awake enough to get home but don't want to stop >keep rubbing faster >c-- in my pants >have to sit in it for 10 more minutes >start getting sleepy again 1 REPLY 2 IMAGES Anonymous | 50347463 put me in the screencap redditorbro REPLY Vor 1 Std.

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Shawspank Redemption | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 09/26/24(Thu)17:02:11 No.203899575 1.17 MB JPG VOTED ONE OF THE GREATEST FRIENDSHIPS IN THE HISTORY OF CINEMA >Red is a highly connected and influential inmate who does literally f------ nothing to stop Andy getting brutally gang r---- for years >Red literally says he wont sell Andy a weapon, something Andy could use to stop the brutal gang rapes >Red gets Andy's friend murdered by encouraging him to snitch, something a street-wise con like Red would have known would happen >In almost two decades Andy doesnt even bother telling his bestest buddy Red about his escape plan How the f--- is this garbage movie regarded as a classic? Red f------ hated Andy. I hope Andy f------ drowned Red in the ocean the second the movie ended.
Anonymous 09/26/24(Thu)17:02:11 No.203899575 1.17 MB JPG VOTED ONE OF THE GREATEST FRIENDSHIPS IN THE HISTORY OF CINEMA >Red is a highly connected and influential inmate who does literally f------ nothing to stop Andy getting brutally gang r---- for years >Red literally says he wont sell Andy a weapon, something Andy could use to stop the brutal gang rapes >Red gets Andy's friend murdered by encouraging him to snitch, something a street-wise con like Red would have known would happen >In almost two decades Andy doesnt even bother telling his bestest buddy Red about his escape plan How the f--- is this garbage movie regarded as a classic? Red f------ hated Andy. I hope Andy f------ drowned Red in the ocean the second the movie ended.

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Broadcast your Brainrot | /r/Greentext

Board /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 Anonymous Settings Mobile Home 09/27/24(Fri)08:28:41 No.78942583 Dreaded YouTube pause screen ads finally arrive after years of warning Michael GlamPublished Sep 19, 2024, 10:47 YOUTUBE ► YouTube 278 KB PNG >Be YouTube in 2016 >Allow videos with swearing to have ads >FFW to 2017 >Demonetise most videos for "unfriendly content" >Allow more ads on videos that aren't demonetised >FFW to 2018 >Users install ad blockers >Youtubers put mid roll ads every minute >FFW 2019 >Place two ads before videos >FFW 2020 >Go to war with adblockers >War gets publicised in the media >More people install adblockers >FFW 2025 >Video pause ads I cant help but realise that this would never happen if they hadn't demonetised anyone.
Board /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 Anonymous Settings Mobile Home 09/27/24(Fri)08:28:41 No.78942583 Dreaded YouTube pause screen ads finally arrive after years of warning Michael GlamPublished Sep 19, 2024, 10:47 YOUTUBE ► YouTube 278 KB PNG >Be YouTube in 2016 >Allow videos with swearing to have ads >FFW to 2017 >Demonetise most videos for "unfriendly content" >Allow more ads on videos that aren't demonetised >FFW to 2018 >Users install ad blockers >Youtubers put mid roll ads every minute >FFW 2019 >Place two ads before videos >FFW 2020 >Go to war with adblockers >War gets publicised in the media >More people install adblockers >FFW 2025 >Video pause ads I cant help but realise that this would never happen if they hadn't demonetised anyone.

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Anon doesn't understand corporate tunnel vision | /r/Greentext

Anonymous Ubishit strikes again ASSASSINS CREED SHADOWS 226 KB JPG 09/27/24(Fri)13:31:21 No.496198941 >no more assassins > fans begging for a feudal japan setting ever since the success of AC2 in 2009 >keeps feudal japan as a wild card for bad times >ffw 2024: bad times seems to have come >ubishit has been infected by the woke virus >play as a black samurai who probably never exsisted >so historically inaccurate that even the japanese government is triggered >YT trailers getting dislike bombed >using bots to write positive comments & got busted >too embarrassed to show the game at TGS >too embarrassed to provide review copies >"why is our stock price falling?" Why can't video game publishers think like a normal person for once?
Anonymous Ubishit strikes again ASSASSINS CREED SHADOWS 226 KB JPG 09/27/24(Fri)13:31:21 No.496198941 >no more assassins > fans begging for a feudal japan setting ever since the success of AC2 in 2009 >keeps feudal japan as a wild card for bad times >ffw 2024: bad times seems to have come >ubishit has been infected by the woke virus >play as a black samurai who probably never exsisted >so historically inaccurate that even the japanese government is triggered >YT trailers getting dislike bombed >using bots to write positive comments & got busted >too embarrassed to show the game at TGS >too embarrassed to provide review copies >"why is our stock price falling?" Why can't video game publishers think like a normal person for once?

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"The Ick." | /r/Greentext

File: 8b24b99761a4667d0b5b61b88(...).png (943 KB, 1032x1032) Anonymous 09/27/24(Fri)12:35:49 No.203907983 >>203910500 >>203910957 >>203911087 >>203916504 >he gave me the ick Jerry, THE ICK! Anonymous 09/27/24(Fri)13:00:31 No.203908553 >>203910326 >>203910957 >>203914063 >>203915631 >What'd he do, wipe nose on his sleeve? >Noo, that would have been fine! I can deal with snot sleeves. The ick is different, Jerry! It's difffeereeeeennt! >How is is different? >You don't understand. You're not a woman. You don't know what it's like to be with a guy who's captivating and funny and gorgeous and and then.. >...ick? >ICK! >So what happened? >We were walking to the restaurant and this guy was walking towards us. All of a sudden, some woman comes flying out of her door and the guy jukes to avoid him and bumps into his shoulder and he says, get this, "pardon mel" >...So? >So?? Who says pardon me? What kind of a man says excuse me in any form? >What, would you rather him just kick the guy in the balls and walk off? >YES! That I would have been okay with! Jerryyy how can I be with a guy who says "pardon me?" Anonymous 09/27/24(Fri)13:16:17 No.203908927 >>203910957 File: 525ob9da6knc1.png (336 KB, 720x544) >You know I've been given the ick before.
File: 8b24b99761a4667d0b5b61b88(...).png (943 KB, 1032x1032) Anonymous 09/27/24(Fri)12:35:49 No.203907983 >>203910500 >>203910957 >>203911087 >>203916504 >he gave me the ick Jerry, THE ICK! Anonymous 09/27/24(Fri)13:00:31 No.203908553 >>203910326 >>203910957 >>203914063 >>203915631 >What'd he do, wipe nose on his sleeve? >Noo, that would have been fine! I can deal with snot sleeves. The ick is different, Jerry! It's difffeereeeeennt! >How is is different? >You don't understand. You're not a woman. You don't know what it's like to be with a guy who's captivating and funny and gorgeous and and then.. >...ick? >ICK! >So what happened? >We were walking to the restaurant and this guy was walking towards us. All of a sudden, some woman comes flying out of her door and the guy jukes to avoid him and bumps into his shoulder and he says, get this, "pardon mel" >...So? >So?? Who says pardon me? What kind of a man says excuse me in any form? >What, would you rather him just kick the guy in the balls and walk off? >YES! That I would have been okay with! Jerryyy how can I be with a guy who says "pardon me?" Anonymous 09/27/24(Fri)13:16:17 No.203908927 >>203910957 File: 525ob9da6knc1.png (336 KB, 720x544) >You know I've been given the ick before.

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I mean, I would've probably done the same | /r/Greentext

Anonymous No.622798957 17 minutes ago I once pretended to have a psychotic episode and smashed a macbook with a bat to keep my brother and his fiancee from stumbling across pictures | photoshopped of her giving birth to me. S
Anonymous No.622798957 17 minutes ago I once pretended to have a psychotic episode and smashed a macbook with a bat to keep my brother and his fiancee from stumbling across pictures | photoshopped of her giving birth to me. S

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anon has his head in the ceiling fan | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 27/9/2024, 5:57:56 pm > buy preowned title fight vinyl No.53952670 > it's practically mint apart from really heavy damage at the start of head in the ceiling fan i feel you random title fight fan 322 KB JPEG
Anonymous 27/9/2024, 5:57:56 pm > buy preowned title fight vinyl No.53952670 > it's practically mint apart from really heavy damage at the start of head in the ceiling fan i feel you random title fight fan 322 KB JPEG

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Anon tries Grandpa's special cake | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 334 KB PNG 09/26/24(Thu)22:37:34 No.690122605 >>690121251 # Sorta related >long time ago when I was 17 or 18 can't remember >My friends GF's grandpa made some edible sponge cake >this was the era when this s--- was still highly illegal especially in my red state where it still is >super concentrated edible the cake was real moist and tasted like strong oil >get super high >later start farting >smells like straight gas real dank >later take a s--- and the whole bathroom smells like f------ dank weed >meet friend yesterday and tell him about my farts and s--- >he had the same experience After 15 years on chronic use I gave it up living that sober life >>690122864 # : Anonymous >>690122605 # 09/26/24(Thu)22:40:34 No.690122864 My piss smells like vienna sausages right after eating a can Imao
Anonymous 334 KB PNG 09/26/24(Thu)22:37:34 No.690122605 >>690121251 # Sorta related >long time ago when I was 17 or 18 can't remember >My friends GF's grandpa made some edible sponge cake >this was the era when this s--- was still highly illegal especially in my red state where it still is >super concentrated edible the cake was real moist and tasted like strong oil >get super high >later start farting >smells like straight gas real dank >later take a s--- and the whole bathroom smells like f------ dank weed >meet friend yesterday and tell him about my farts and s--- >he had the same experience After 15 years on chronic use I gave it up living that sober life >>690122864 # : Anonymous >>690122605 # 09/26/24(Thu)22:40:34 No.690122864 My piss smells like vienna sausages right after eating a can Imao

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Greenland anon describes /int/ very well | /r/Greentext

Anonymous ✔ 09/27/24(Fri)00:57:16 No.202711344 Is he proud of his legacy? 104 KB JPG Anonymous 09/27/24(Fri)01:03:32 No.202711642 No i'm really not proud of this website anymore Anonymous 09/27/24(Fri)01:15:51 No.202712241 >>202711344 (OP) # Why did you make that thread on /int/ in your country? >>202712333 # >>202712418 # : Anonymous >>202712241 # Excuse me... >BIG BLACK CACK >WHITE >WHITE 09/27/24(Fri)01:17:48 No.202712333 >WOULD HE PASS A LOCAL IN UR COUNT?? >WHITE? >BI BLACK C00000000000000000000000CCKCCKKKKCK CK BIG F------ DARK D--- SO BIIIIIIIIG ANNNDDD DAAAARRRRRKKKKKKK PHHHALKLLLOOOSSSS >>202712384 # >>202712412 #
Anonymous ✔ 09/27/24(Fri)00:57:16 No.202711344 Is he proud of his legacy? 104 KB JPG Anonymous 09/27/24(Fri)01:03:32 No.202711642 No i'm really not proud of this website anymore Anonymous 09/27/24(Fri)01:15:51 No.202712241 >>202711344 (OP) # Why did you make that thread on /int/ in your country? >>202712333 # >>202712418 # : Anonymous >>202712241 # Excuse me... >BIG BLACK CACK >WHITE >WHITE 09/27/24(Fri)01:17:48 No.202712333 >WOULD HE PASS A LOCAL IN UR COUNT?? >WHITE? >BI BLACK C00000000000000000000000CCKCCKKKKCK CK BIG F------ DARK D--- SO BIIIIIIIIG ANNNDDD DAAAARRRRRKKKKKKK PHHHALKLLLOOOSSSS >>202712384 # >>202712412 #

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Anon makes you post the cat | /r/Greentext

: trunks Eucalyptus D--- 988 KB PNG on the new buzzy >hard as rocks What is this? 09/21/24(Sat)21:17:01 No.78888671 >be me >ex gf transitions, slices their t--- off, the whole nine >think about f------ their man p---- >makes me want to vomit >think about them re-transitioning into a woman and somehow having a big d--- now and me going to town
: trunks Eucalyptus D--- 988 KB PNG on the new buzzy >hard as rocks What is this? 09/21/24(Sat)21:17:01 No.78888671 >be me >ex gf transitions, slices their t--- off, the whole nine >think about f------ their man p---- >makes me want to vomit >think about them re-transitioning into a woman and somehow having a big d--- now and me going to town

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Good writing? | /r/Greentext

>Hag wears tight clothes meant for a younger woman Name a better anime trope.
>Hag wears tight clothes meant for a younger woman Name a better anime trope.

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