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Anon Gets a Free Drink | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 236 KB PNG mcdonalds >be me >at mcdonalds 08/21/24(Wed)15:21:11 No.78562203 >Take my order to a table >all of them are dirty >deliberately spill my drink all over the table >tell a team member about my 'accident' >they clean the table for me >bring me a new drink >mfw I got a clean table and free drink at
Anonymous 236 KB PNG mcdonalds >be me >at mcdonalds 08/21/24(Wed)15:21:11 No.78562203 >Take my order to a table >all of them are dirty >deliberately spill my drink all over the table >tell a team member about my 'accident' >they clean the table for me >bring me a new drink >mfw I got a clean table and free drink at

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Wild West stories be like: | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 245 KB JPG 05/26/21(Wed)15:59:06 No.11206233 Wild West history be like >Ball-Stabbing Emmanuel McCoy the Angelenidez County Skullfucker rode into the town of D--------- Gulch hoping to sell a rabbit he caught >On his way into the saloon he tracked mud over the favored smoking spot of Half-Chinese Jesus Smith the Commanche-R----- Dandy of Dryball Basin, prompting the latter to challenge McCoy to a duel at three nanoseconds past dawn on the 2nd Tuesday of the week (as was local custom) >The two gunslingers met at the agreed upon hour in the famous Pissdrinker Alley. McCoy, who lost both his arms serving as a barber in the eleventh Hunkpapa Rebellion of 1888 had to shoot his piece by affixing it to his d--- >McCoy was shot in the toe and died of syphilis in the next minute. >The victorious Smith would go on to enter American myth by single handedly r----- the entire Arakwaw tribe in 1896 the following year
Anonymous 245 KB JPG 05/26/21(Wed)15:59:06 No.11206233 Wild West history be like >Ball-Stabbing Emmanuel McCoy the Angelenidez County Skullfucker rode into the town of D--------- Gulch hoping to sell a rabbit he caught >On his way into the saloon he tracked mud over the favored smoking spot of Half-Chinese Jesus Smith the Commanche-R----- Dandy of Dryball Basin, prompting the latter to challenge McCoy to a duel at three nanoseconds past dawn on the 2nd Tuesday of the week (as was local custom) >The two gunslingers met at the agreed upon hour in the famous Pissdrinker Alley. McCoy, who lost both his arms serving as a barber in the eleventh Hunkpapa Rebellion of 1888 had to shoot his piece by affixing it to his d--- >McCoy was shot in the toe and died of syphilis in the next minute. >The victorious Smith would go on to enter American myth by single handedly r----- the entire Arakwaw tribe in 1896 the following year

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Patchwork country | /r/Greentext

depositphotos Anonymous (ID: /hOFPUFI) Copsitphotos + 08/15/24(Thu)21:16:11 No.478409006 + + decesitphotos depositphotos depositanotos + >uses england's flag >uses a US state's name georgia-flag.jpg 38 KB JPG >uses the Burmese alphabet >situated in russia >eats dog food Is there anything these guys invented for themselfs?
depositphotos Anonymous (ID: /hOFPUFI) Copsitphotos + 08/15/24(Thu)21:16:11 No.478409006 + + decesitphotos depositphotos depositanotos + >uses england's flag >uses a US state's name georgia-flag.jpg 38 KB JPG >uses the Burmese alphabet >situated in russia >eats dog food Is there anything these guys invented for themselfs?

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Self aware | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/21/24(Wed) 23:27:03 No.78560277 >talking to your chud-bro friend but he starts bringing up interracial cuckoldry again 29 KB JPG 1 Reply 1 Image Anonymous 8 KB PNG View Thread 08/21/24(Wed)23:29:33 No.78560291 >>78560277 (OP) # >"Yes, and this is why all latinas want BWC. Did I tell you that WMBF has the lowest divorce rate? I have desert fever."
: Anonymous 08/21/24(Wed) 23:27:03 No.78560277 >talking to your chud-bro friend but he starts bringing up interracial cuckoldry again 29 KB JPG 1 Reply 1 Image Anonymous 8 KB PNG View Thread 08/21/24(Wed)23:29:33 No.78560291 >>78560277 (OP) # >"Yes, and this is why all latinas want BWC. Did I tell you that WMBF has the lowest divorce rate? I have desert fever."

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Anon gets fiddled | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 08/21/24(Wed)23:22:35 No.78560236 >first job had greek boss who regularly tapped me on the ass >now working at another restaurant >>femlette mom of 2 waitress always squeezes my arms when she passes by me anyone else have history older women who are touchy with them? 2.9 MB WEBM
Anonymous 08/21/24(Wed)23:22:35 No.78560236 >first job had greek boss who regularly tapped me on the ass >now working at another restaurant >>femlette mom of 2 waitress always squeezes my arms when she passes by me anyone else have history older women who are touchy with them? 2.9 MB WEBM

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Cries in chud | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/21/24(Wed)23:06:25 No.78560120 >tfw no abusechad bf to complain to my beta guy friend about 17 KB PNG
: Anonymous 08/21/24(Wed)23:06:25 No.78560120 >tfw no abusechad bf to complain to my beta guy friend about 17 KB PNG

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Say the line bart! | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 1.38 MB PNG 08/21/24(Wed)12:55:58 No.78556757 >be me >yesterday, first day of junior year in college >the university has this page where you can opt in to find study buddies in your classes >I check the page for my calculus 3 class >1 person there >just send the default email >she replies with her phone number and Instagram >qt grill >texting on Instagram and she says to look at the moon, it's a super moon and blue moon >look >"wow cool, let's go stargazing" >I go pick her up and we drive away from the lights of the town >lay in truck bed and talk about stars >1:00 am >me: "I'm getting tired I need to sleep, let's go back unless you wanna make out or something" >"oh.. you want to?" >f----- in the back of my truck >it's just that easy >my knees hurt a bit tho picrel similar
: Anonymous 1.38 MB PNG 08/21/24(Wed)12:55:58 No.78556757 >be me >yesterday, first day of junior year in college >the university has this page where you can opt in to find study buddies in your classes >I check the page for my calculus 3 class >1 person there >just send the default email >she replies with her phone number and Instagram >qt grill >texting on Instagram and she says to look at the moon, it's a super moon and blue moon >look >"wow cool, let's go stargazing" >I go pick her up and we drive away from the lights of the town >lay in truck bed and talk about stars >1:00 am >me: "I'm getting tired I need to sleep, let's go back unless you wanna make out or something" >"oh.. you want to?" >f----- in the back of my truck >it's just that easy >my knees hurt a bit tho picrel similar

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Oh I see the problem | /r/Greentext

>"Drake?" drakenjosh.jpg 174 KB JPG >"What?" >"Where is the body of Christ?"
>"Drake?" drakenjosh.jpg 174 KB JPG >"What?" >"Where is the body of Christ?"

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Why is he like this? | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 08/15/24(Thu)13:31:28 No.202501900 RO IMG_2180.jpg 18 KB JPG >has literally stolen every good joke from somebody else please discuss this comedic hack
Anonymous 08/15/24(Thu)13:31:28 No.202501900 RO IMG_2180.jpg 18 KB JPG >has literally stolen every good joke from somebody else please discuss this comedic hack

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Anon thinks South Africa is a chad | /r/Greentext

File: image_6483441 (3).jpg (319 KB, 1125x901) South Africa Bloemfontein Maseru Lesotho South Africa Anonymous 08/20/24(Tue)22:16:21 No.923199012 ► > Begs South Africa to take them over. Says they are "desperate" > South Africa refuses, despite surrounding their country What did South Africa mean by this? Komani Gqeberha East London
File: image_6483441 (3).jpg (319 KB, 1125x901) South Africa Bloemfontein Maseru Lesotho South Africa Anonymous 08/20/24(Tue)22:16:21 No.923199012 ► > Begs South Africa to take them over. Says they are "desperate" > South Africa refuses, despite surrounding their country What did South Africa mean by this? Komani Gqeberha East London

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Anon tricks the system. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous feels good man 30 KB JPG freshmen 08/22/18(Wed)09:08:49 No.777883934 >be me >am 17 >am pretty stupid and broke so decide to sell fake drugs >start filling a few bags with oregano and selling to >kids actually believe it's weed and buy some >mfw they fake being high and then come back to buy more >one day called up to principals office >there's a cop in there >they ask to search my bag >mfw all they find is oregano >mfw I say I'm making pasta after school and my friend gave me some oregano he grew to use >mfw they can't do anything so they send me back to class
Anonymous feels good man 30 KB JPG freshmen 08/22/18(Wed)09:08:49 No.777883934 >be me >am 17 >am pretty stupid and broke so decide to sell fake drugs >start filling a few bags with oregano and selling to >kids actually believe it's weed and buy some >mfw they fake being high and then come back to buy more >one day called up to principals office >there's a cop in there >they ask to search my bag >mfw all they find is oregano >mfw I say I'm making pasta after school and my friend gave me some oregano he grew to use >mfw they can't do anything so they send me back to class

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Anon is a boomer | /r/Greentext

52 KB PNG microwave I tell ya' >opens a can of Bud Light kids these days >gently massages protruding beer belly just ain't >begins daily ritual of zoning out to TV like they used to be >puts a triple bacon cheeseburger in the Why back in my day >cheers as his favorite n---- catches the football we had some >asks permission to go to the local sports bar, wife says no gosh darn >hires Jose the illegal immigrant to mow his lawn work ethic n' >blames Jose for all his problems pride >dies of a heart attack at age 58
52 KB PNG microwave I tell ya' >opens a can of Bud Light kids these days >gently massages protruding beer belly just ain't >begins daily ritual of zoning out to TV like they used to be >puts a triple bacon cheeseburger in the Why back in my day >cheers as his favorite n---- catches the football we had some >asks permission to go to the local sports bar, wife says no gosh darn >hires Jose the illegal immigrant to mow his lawn work ethic n' >blames Jose for all his problems pride >dies of a heart attack at age 58

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Anon Has A Snack | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 07/23/24(Tue)13:36:38 No.41257207 1.33 MB PNG >>41257166 # >"Hey Anon have you seen my kit-..." >Anon's mouth was full of something, he quickly swallowed it down and his stomach distended into a diamond shape >"Nope, haven't seen it." Anon says as he starts to sweat >"You ATE my kite?!" Starlight shrieks >"No....?" A ribbon slithers out of his mouth and he slurps it back up quickly >>41257305 # >>41258104 # >>41259873 #
Anonymous 07/23/24(Tue)13:36:38 No.41257207 1.33 MB PNG >>41257166 # >"Hey Anon have you seen my kit-..." >Anon's mouth was full of something, he quickly swallowed it down and his stomach distended into a diamond shape >"Nope, haven't seen it." Anon says as he starts to sweat >"You ATE my kite?!" Starlight shrieks >"No....?" A ribbon slithers out of his mouth and he slurps it back up quickly >>41257305 # >>41258104 # >>41259873 #

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Licence to Thrive | /r/Greentext

Board /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 Anonymous ▼ Settings Mobile Home 08/20/24(Tue)13:28:34 No.78551673 97 KB PNG move >Be me >Coach Driver >Hired to drive a school class of tards on a school trip to an aquarium >Driving towards location in narrow bend with a curb >Have to swoop the front of the coach over the curb to make the turn >Forget to lift the suspension for this professional >Entire front of the coach scrapes the curb, making a blood-curdling sound >Happens more often then you think >All the tards start whaling and screaming >There were like 4-5 tards per wrangler >Sippy cup got thrown to the back of my head >I literally just stopped on the side of the road and waited outside while the wranglers struggled to take control >It took 45 minutes >Did the same thing on the way back >A tard shat all over the seat >Had to call in a another coach due to the smell Today was an OK day I guess.
Board /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 Anonymous ▼ Settings Mobile Home 08/20/24(Tue)13:28:34 No.78551673 97 KB PNG move >Be me >Coach Driver >Hired to drive a school class of tards on a school trip to an aquarium >Driving towards location in narrow bend with a curb >Have to swoop the front of the coach over the curb to make the turn >Forget to lift the suspension for this professional >Entire front of the coach scrapes the curb, making a blood-curdling sound >Happens more often then you think >All the tards start whaling and screaming >There were like 4-5 tards per wrangler >Sippy cup got thrown to the back of my head >I literally just stopped on the side of the road and waited outside while the wranglers struggled to take control >It took 45 minutes >Did the same thing on the way back >A tard shat all over the seat >Had to call in a another coach due to the smell Today was an OK day I guess.

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anon moggs hon | /r/Greentext

File: 92134791273629173.png (811 KB, 935x838) SAY "ACK"! Passing &Cute >so they definitely know STUNNING AND BRAVE! Anonymous 08/20/24(Tue)16:41:35 No.36967273 [Reply] ► >be me >twenty minutes ago >twinkhon boymoder, hsts >plumbers come to my house to fix the shower >one of them is a fat tr*nny >she's like six foot, deep voice, extremely fat, easily 300+ lbs >pink painted nails, girly bracelets, long unkempt hair, huge slab body with chunky cone t--- >scraggly beard, curly floppy hair down past her neck, and no VT or even attempt at fagspeak >juxtaposed with me, 5'7" and 110lbs of boygirlthing with long neat hair >plumbers go into my bathroom >all of my hrt stuff is out from where i pinned last night, my needles and my bandaid wrapper and stuff >nail polish, makeup, bottle of bica >she casts a wary eye kind of across my stuff and back at me at one point >stay expressionless, grab some of the trash off the counter and dump it >plumbers finish >awkwardly try and start kinda pushing them out >she stops to try and talk to me about my boyfriend's 40k figurines and stuff >"aha yeah yeah we play aha yeah" >keeps asking me about s---, 3D printing, painting, etc >god i just need these people to get the f--- out of my house >finally they do >watch them leave and lock the door behind them >yell MOGGED before breaking into awful peals of sadistic laughter holy f--- I hate hons
File: 92134791273629173.png (811 KB, 935x838) SAY "ACK"! Passing &Cute >so they definitely know STUNNING AND BRAVE! Anonymous 08/20/24(Tue)16:41:35 No.36967273 [Reply] ► >be me >twenty minutes ago >twinkhon boymoder, hsts >plumbers come to my house to fix the shower >one of them is a fat tr*nny >she's like six foot, deep voice, extremely fat, easily 300+ lbs >pink painted nails, girly bracelets, long unkempt hair, huge slab body with chunky cone t--- >scraggly beard, curly floppy hair down past her neck, and no VT or even attempt at fagspeak >juxtaposed with me, 5'7" and 110lbs of boygirlthing with long neat hair >plumbers go into my bathroom >all of my hrt stuff is out from where i pinned last night, my needles and my bandaid wrapper and stuff >nail polish, makeup, bottle of bica >she casts a wary eye kind of across my stuff and back at me at one point >stay expressionless, grab some of the trash off the counter and dump it >plumbers finish >awkwardly try and start kinda pushing them out >she stops to try and talk to me about my boyfriend's 40k figurines and stuff >"aha yeah yeah we play aha yeah" >keeps asking me about s---, 3D printing, painting, etc >god i just need these people to get the f--- out of my house >finally they do >watch them leave and lock the door behind them >yell MOGGED before breaking into awful peals of sadistic laughter holy f--- I hate hons

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Special Reinforcements | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous I don't wanna drive local bran(...) 50 07/19/24(Fri)13:33:27 No.27823174 3017loyv-q273zv76p-.jpg 464 KB JPG >wanted a shelby mustang when I was a kid >later found out the starting price is $80k >found out the regular mustang is half the price >remember I'm a seanigger live in a 3rd world country with non existent income >world's most corrupt champion for the government >taxes and fees for buying a car basically giving another one to the government for free >considering giving it up
: Anonymous I don't wanna drive local bran(...) 50 07/19/24(Fri)13:33:27 No.27823174 3017loyv-q273zv76p-.jpg 464 KB JPG >wanted a shelby mustang when I was a kid >later found out the starting price is $80k >found out the regular mustang is half the price >remember I'm a seanigger live in a 3rd world country with non existent income >world's most corrupt champion for the government >taxes and fees for buying a car basically giving another one to the government for free >considering giving it up

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Average house hunting experience | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: Qn2V2oGW 08/14/24(Wed)16:58:31 No.478264145 63 KB JPG >finally save up enough to put down payment on a house >Mfw seeing the interest rates and how much you pay over the course of the loan N-NANI?!?! On a $300,000 house you are laying over $320,000 in interest literally HOW THE F--- IS THIS S--- EVEN REAL YOU BUY THE BANK TWO HOUSES
: Anonymous (ID: Qn2V2oGW 08/14/24(Wed)16:58:31 No.478264145 63 KB JPG >finally save up enough to put down payment on a house >Mfw seeing the interest rates and how much you pay over the course of the loan N-NANI?!?! On a $300,000 house you are laying over $320,000 in interest literally HOW THE F--- IS THIS S--- EVEN REAL YOU BUY THE BANK TWO HOUSES

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Anon Liked the Acolyte | /r/Greentext

File: fgh56.png (766 KB, 773x607) 'The Acolyte' Canceled: No Season 2 For Disney+'s 'Star Wars' Series ☐ 'The Acolyte' Canceled: No Season 2 For Disney+'s 'Star Wars' Series Anonymous 08/20/24(Tue)17:37:11 No.202698100 >>202698206 >>202698236 >>202698322 >>202698334 >>202698531 >>202699230 >>202699796 >>202699803 >>202700066 >>202700193 >>202700240 >>202700347 >>202700533 >>202700661 >>202700759 WHY DIDNT YOU WATCH IT, /tv/? > EXCLUSIVE: The story of The Acolyte will not continue, with Lucasfilm opting not to proceed with a second season of the Star Wars offshoot starring Amandla Stenberg, sources tell Deadline. >Word of the decision comes more than a month after the eight- episode first season of the series from creator, director, executive producer and showrunner Leslye Headland wrapped its run on Disney+. https://deadline.com/2024/08/the-acolyte-canceled-no-season- 2-star-wars-disney-plus-1236044233/ ☐ Anonymous 08/20/24(Tue)18:05:40 No.202698641 >>202698747 >>202698768 >>202698808 >>202699277 >>202699374 >>202699830 >>202700309 >>202700350 >>202700372 >>202700639 >>202700841 The Power Of One (season) ☐ Anonymous 08/20/24(Tue)18:11:10 No.202698747 File: images.jpg (6 KB, 300x168) >>202698641 kek Anonymous 08/20/24(Tue)18:12:12 No.202698768 File: laughing-n-----.jpg (9 KB, 232x217) >>202698641 Anonymous 08/20/24(Tue)18:14:28 No.202698808 >>202698641 looooool ☐ Anonymous 08/20/24(Tue)18:35:14 No.202699277 File: 1723569806546996.jpg (21 KB, 400x400) >>202698641 Anonymous 08/20/24(Tue)20:19:34 No.202700841 >>202698641 Put me in the screenshot famalam
File: fgh56.png (766 KB, 773x607) 'The Acolyte' Canceled: No Season 2 For Disney+'s 'Star Wars' Series ☐ 'The Acolyte' Canceled: No Season 2 For Disney+'s 'Star Wars' Series Anonymous 08/20/24(Tue)17:37:11 No.202698100 >>202698206 >>202698236 >>202698322 >>202698334 >>202698531 >>202699230 >>202699796 >>202699803 >>202700066 >>202700193 >>202700240 >>202700347 >>202700533 >>202700661 >>202700759 WHY DIDNT YOU WATCH IT, /tv/? > EXCLUSIVE: The story of The Acolyte will not continue, with Lucasfilm opting not to proceed with a second season of the Star Wars offshoot starring Amandla Stenberg, sources tell Deadline. >Word of the decision comes more than a month after the eight- episode first season of the series from creator, director, executive producer and showrunner Leslye Headland wrapped its run on Disney+. https://deadline.com/2024/08/the-acolyte-canceled-no-season- 2-star-wars-disney-plus-1236044233/ ☐ Anonymous 08/20/24(Tue)18:05:40 No.202698641 >>202698747 >>202698768 >>202698808 >>202699277 >>202699374 >>202699830 >>202700309 >>202700350 >>202700372 >>202700639 >>202700841 The Power Of One (season) ☐ Anonymous 08/20/24(Tue)18:11:10 No.202698747 File: images.jpg (6 KB, 300x168) >>202698641 kek Anonymous 08/20/24(Tue)18:12:12 No.202698768 File: laughing-n-----.jpg (9 KB, 232x217) >>202698641 Anonymous 08/20/24(Tue)18:14:28 No.202698808 >>202698641 looooool ☐ Anonymous 08/20/24(Tue)18:35:14 No.202699277 File: 1723569806546996.jpg (21 KB, 400x400) >>202698641 Anonymous 08/20/24(Tue)20:19:34 No.202700841 >>202698641 Put me in the screenshot famalam

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1999 was 8 years ago | /r/Greentext

08/20/24(Tue)19:22:14 No.478940099 1644376530590.jpg 80 KB JPG >Korn >Linkin Park >Slipknot >Adema >Drowning Pool >Static X >In Flames >Sabaton Yep, time for some dad-rock. MEN ENER ULT (D)
08/20/24(Tue)19:22:14 No.478940099 1644376530590.jpg 80 KB JPG >Korn >Linkin Park >Slipknot >Adema >Drowning Pool >Static X >In Flames >Sabaton Yep, time for some dad-rock. MEN ENER ULT (D)

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Anon ponders lost media | /r/Greentext

Anonymous Lost Media 08/17/24(Sat)23:14:24 No.202615838 2115_-_SoyBooru-1548599762.png 1.12 MB PNG >"And then, when anon searched for that cartoon he had seen when he was three years old... it wasn't immediately available to watch for free!!" Is there any lost media worth actually giving a s--- about?
Anonymous Lost Media 08/17/24(Sat)23:14:24 No.202615838 2115_-_SoyBooru-1548599762.png 1.12 MB PNG >"And then, when anon searched for that cartoon he had seen when he was three years old... it wasn't immediately available to watch for free!!" Is there any lost media worth actually giving a s--- about?

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