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Anon trades with birds | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/13/17(Mon)15:30:03 No.18926794 868 KB JPG I've become a bread crumb dealer to 4 crows in my local lake. And they pay me with a bit of everything. Shiny stuff, fabric, pens etc. But recently they paid me with 20$ they've found somewhere. So i decided to buy them some more expensive bread. They loved it. So they understand what to do. Give me dollar notes. And i've problamy racked up 200$ at this point. Is it morally wrong though, i mean. They're the ones who steals it from someone. Or perhaps they just got a big pile laying somewhere. Should i keep on doing this? 7 Replies / 1 Image View Thread
: Anonymous 11/13/17(Mon)15:30:03 No.18926794 868 KB JPG I've become a bread crumb dealer to 4 crows in my local lake. And they pay me with a bit of everything. Shiny stuff, fabric, pens etc. But recently they paid me with 20$ they've found somewhere. So i decided to buy them some more expensive bread. They loved it. So they understand what to do. Give me dollar notes. And i've problamy racked up 200$ at this point. Is it morally wrong though, i mean. They're the ones who steals it from someone. Or perhaps they just got a big pile laying somewhere. Should i keep on doing this? 7 Replies / 1 Image View Thread

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my favourite greentext | /r/Greentext


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Anon makes a friend at work | /r/Greentext

1h (5/1 17:23). 68452741 3 Re 2 Img JPG 217KB (1908 x 1146) 3 Replies >be me >meet qt at work >we get along really well, great chemistry >deep talks and inside jokes >take our lunch breaks together etc >some light flirting, work up courage to ask her out >one day she comes in all sad >basically ignores me >eventually tells me i have to give her space >press her as to why >she says she feels like she is emotionally cheating on her boyfriend >mfw this is my first time hearing about her bf F--- OFF I THOUGHT I WAS LOSING MY KHV TO SOMEONE I CARED FOR
1h (5/1 17:23). 68452741 3 Re 2 Img JPG 217KB (1908 x 1146) 3 Replies >be me >meet qt at work >we get along really well, great chemistry >deep talks and inside jokes >take our lunch breaks together etc >some light flirting, work up courage to ask her out >one day she comes in all sad >basically ignores me >eventually tells me i have to give her space >press her as to why >she says she feels like she is emotionally cheating on her boyfriend >mfw this is my first time hearing about her bf F--- OFF I THOUGHT I WAS LOSING MY KHV TO SOMEONE I CARED FOR

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Lost in translation | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/01/22(Sun)19:11:13 >Coworker: You finna get lit on that zaza? >Me: Sorry? >Cowkorker: You finna get lit on that zaza tonight? >Me: I don't know what you mean 68 KB JPG >Cowkorker: Zaza,*shows cart* you wanna hit it tonight? >Say I'm good >Cowkorker looks at me like I'm retarded after this brief chatter It's all too difficult 百家/而上庫影去銀行 No.68453365
: Anonymous 05/01/22(Sun)19:11:13 >Coworker: You finna get lit on that zaza? >Me: Sorry? >Cowkorker: You finna get lit on that zaza tonight? >Me: I don't know what you mean 68 KB JPG >Cowkorker: Zaza,*shows cart* you wanna hit it tonight? >Say I'm good >Cowkorker looks at me like I'm retarded after this brief chatter It's all too difficult 百家/而上庫影去銀行 No.68453365

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This was settled quickly | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: wzNlb+yG) >doctors say I'm a woman >friends say I'm a woman >family say I'm a woman >society says I'm a woman >boyfriend says I'm a woman >my legal documents say I'm a woman mommy's Cirl 49 KB JPG >some random incel on 4chan says I'll never be a woman Well I guess that settles it Anonymous (ID: Se2XATFJ) 05/01/22(Sun)20:39:54 No.375646589 >>375646453 (OP) # Wow that was easy >>375646956 # Anonymous (ID: 81Ho5ACD) 05/01/22(Sun)20:43:45 No.375646956 >>375646589 # Fpbp, what was even the point of this thread? 05/01/22(Sun)20:38:32 No.375646453
Anonymous (ID: wzNlb+yG) >doctors say I'm a woman >friends say I'm a woman >family say I'm a woman >society says I'm a woman >boyfriend says I'm a woman >my legal documents say I'm a woman mommy's Cirl 49 KB JPG >some random incel on 4chan says I'll never be a woman Well I guess that settles it Anonymous (ID: Se2XATFJ) 05/01/22(Sun)20:39:54 No.375646589 >>375646453 (OP) # Wow that was easy >>375646956 # Anonymous (ID: 81Ho5ACD) 05/01/22(Sun)20:43:45 No.375646956 >>375646589 # Fpbp, what was even the point of this thread? 05/01/22(Sun)20:38:32 No.375646453

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Anons prostate exam | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 58 KB JPG 3 Replies / 1 Image Anonymous >>53085785 (OP) # I just hope she has a penis 06/25/19(Tue)20:05:53 No.53085785 >Hi, you must be Mr. Anon. I'll be administering your prostate exam today. View Thread 06/25/19(Tue)20:06:54 No.53085791
Anonymous 58 KB JPG 3 Replies / 1 Image Anonymous >>53085785 (OP) # I just hope she has a penis 06/25/19(Tue)20:05:53 No.53085785 >Hi, you must be Mr. Anon. I'll be administering your prostate exam today. View Thread 06/25/19(Tue)20:06:54 No.53085791

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Anon is poor | /r/Greentext

05/01/22(Sun)19:33:04 No.877339770 Anonymous >be me >poor guy struggling with mental health >look up how much therapy costs >It's around $200 for a 1-hour session 10 KB JPG >look up how much a 12-pack of Bud Light costs >It's about $10.49 I could buy 19 whole 12-packs of beer (or 228 cans) for the same price as a single therapy session >I just choose beer to handle my mental issues bc it's astronomically cheaper than therapy Anonymous 05/01/22(Sun)19:34:39 No.877339848 >>877339770 (OP) # Shrooms are even better. Like 200 therapy sessions in one night.
05/01/22(Sun)19:33:04 No.877339770 Anonymous >be me >poor guy struggling with mental health >look up how much therapy costs >It's around $200 for a 1-hour session 10 KB JPG >look up how much a 12-pack of Bud Light costs >It's about $10.49 I could buy 19 whole 12-packs of beer (or 228 cans) for the same price as a single therapy session >I just choose beer to handle my mental issues bc it's astronomically cheaper than therapy Anonymous 05/01/22(Sun)19:34:39 No.877339848 >>877339770 (OP) # Shrooms are even better. Like 200 therapy sessions in one night.

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Anon is forced to choose | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: NMa/4pgg Make a Choice 05/01/22(Sun)17:35:40 No.375621566 Hello Anon. You don't know me, but I know you. >I have seen everything you have said on 4chan in these past few years, all of the incomprehensibly racist rants and anti-Semitic rhetoric. Which is why I want you to play a game of mine. 56 KB JPG >above you is a heated metal branding device. In exactly two minutes, it will permanently inscribe the words "Ridin' with Biden" onto your penis >you can deactivate the device by placing all 10 of your fingers into the 10 mini-Guillotines in front of you. You must press each button behind each guillotine simultaneously, releasing the iron blades and severing your fingers. Will you cut off the fingers you use to vocalize your hatred of minorities online, or will you bear witness to the mark of Biden every time you urinate or j------- for the rest of your days. The choice is yours.
Anonymous (ID: NMa/4pgg Make a Choice 05/01/22(Sun)17:35:40 No.375621566 Hello Anon. You don't know me, but I know you. >I have seen everything you have said on 4chan in these past few years, all of the incomprehensibly racist rants and anti-Semitic rhetoric. Which is why I want you to play a game of mine. 56 KB JPG >above you is a heated metal branding device. In exactly two minutes, it will permanently inscribe the words "Ridin' with Biden" onto your penis >you can deactivate the device by placing all 10 of your fingers into the 10 mini-Guillotines in front of you. You must press each button behind each guillotine simultaneously, releasing the iron blades and severing your fingers. Will you cut off the fingers you use to vocalize your hatred of minorities online, or will you bear witness to the mark of Biden every time you urinate or j------- for the rest of your days. The choice is yours.

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Anon opens up | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/01/22(Sun)16:01:27 No.877324622 >get comfortable with new housemates >listen to all their problems with a non- judgmental ear for multiple years TAVEN FER >rest of house is more attractive than I am, important for later 19 KB JPG >eventually open up about my suicidal thoughts and how I've dealt with them on and off for ~20 years >confide that the primary source of those thoughts is my recent loneliness (romantic, not platonic) >entire house stops talking to me >female housemates "express concern" about my mental health by telling everyone they know >male housemates hit the gym with me but otherwise avoid me >every time I bring a girl home they spoil my shot by bringing up my depression or pulling her aside at some point to "warn" her >"oh girl be careful I hear he's suicidal" >"anon you're becoming such an incel what happened" YOU HAPPENED, YOU F------ DIRTY BACKSTABBING C---- The moral of this story is f--- women and f--- expressing emotion. Play your cards as close to the chest as humanly possible. Trust no bitches. That is all.
: Anonymous 05/01/22(Sun)16:01:27 No.877324622 >get comfortable with new housemates >listen to all their problems with a non- judgmental ear for multiple years TAVEN FER >rest of house is more attractive than I am, important for later 19 KB JPG >eventually open up about my suicidal thoughts and how I've dealt with them on and off for ~20 years >confide that the primary source of those thoughts is my recent loneliness (romantic, not platonic) >entire house stops talking to me >female housemates "express concern" about my mental health by telling everyone they know >male housemates hit the gym with me but otherwise avoid me >every time I bring a girl home they spoil my shot by bringing up my depression or pulling her aside at some point to "warn" her >"oh girl be careful I hear he's suicidal" >"anon you're becoming such an incel what happened" YOU HAPPENED, YOU F------ DIRTY BACKSTABBING C---- The moral of this story is f--- women and f--- expressing emotion. Play your cards as close to the chest as humanly possible. Trust no bitches. That is all.

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Anon wants to go back | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 04/29/22 (Fri)11:13:08 No.877166120 >be me >find old hard drive >plug into pc to see whats on it >old minecraft world i started with my friend >decide to see whats on it 89 KB PNG >boot up mc and the version the worlds is on >look around see my builds >see my friends builds >friend killed himself a few years back >over ran with nostalgia >find his house >find a book in one of the chests >written to me >says if you ever find this book anon i want to tell you for making my life better these past couples months >start tearing up ive been just sitting here idk what to do anymore guys i just want to go back
Anonymous 04/29/22 (Fri)11:13:08 No.877166120 >be me >find old hard drive >plug into pc to see whats on it >old minecraft world i started with my friend >decide to see whats on it 89 KB PNG >boot up mc and the version the worlds is on >look around see my builds >see my friends builds >friend killed himself a few years back >over ran with nostalgia >find his house >find a book in one of the chests >written to me >says if you ever find this book anon i want to tell you for making my life better these past couples months >start tearing up ive been just sitting here idk what to do anymore guys i just want to go back

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Anon wants dessert | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/20/18(Tue)20:58:08 No.785372907 >>785372291 (OP) # 6 KB JPG I'm officially banned from my family's thanksgiving getogether because last year I spiked my 12'yo neice's food with laxatives so she'd s--- herself in front of everyone to satisfy my scat i----- fetish. I guess I'm lucky they didn't call the cops. >>785373007 # >>785373051 # >>785373102 # >>785373193 # >>785373242 # >>785373476 # >>785373610 # >>785373717 # >>785373930 # >>785374070 # >>785374102 # >>785374215 # >>785374263 # >>785374385 # >>785374490 # >>785375095 #
: Anonymous 11/20/18(Tue)20:58:08 No.785372907 >>785372291 (OP) # 6 KB JPG I'm officially banned from my family's thanksgiving getogether because last year I spiked my 12'yo neice's food with laxatives so she'd s--- herself in front of everyone to satisfy my scat i----- fetish. I guess I'm lucky they didn't call the cops. >>785373007 # >>785373051 # >>785373102 # >>785373193 # >>785373242 # >>785373476 # >>785373610 # >>785373717 # >>785373930 # >>785374070 # >>785374102 # >>785374215 # >>785374263 # >>785374385 # >>785374490 # >>785375095 #

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Anon downloads an app | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 47 KB JPG glitching the f--- out >even restarting the app doesn't fix it >what the f--- is going on? >see there's an update for the app >update it >problem goes away instantly I'm fully convinced that apps on the App Store purposefully break older versions so they force you to update. I used this app yesterday and it worked perfectly. It's not even an app that requires internet. 04/30/22(Sat)22:24:44 No.68443491 >download an app from the App Store >regularly start using it, it's pretty good >forget to update it for a while, but continue to use it regularly >one day out of nowhere it starts
Anonymous 47 KB JPG glitching the f--- out >even restarting the app doesn't fix it >what the f--- is going on? >see there's an update for the app >update it >problem goes away instantly I'm fully convinced that apps on the App Store purposefully break older versions so they force you to update. I used this app yesterday and it worked perfectly. It's not even an app that requires internet. 04/30/22(Sat)22:24:44 No.68443491 >download an app from the App Store >regularly start using it, it's pretty good >forget to update it for a while, but continue to use it regularly >one day out of nowhere it starts

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Anon plays too much oblivion. | /r/Greentext

10/19/16(Wed)09:12:08 No.32186979 >>32186858 I actually laughed when I read this for some reason. I've modded Skyrim and Morrowind no problem, but Oblivion... It's different. 108 KB JPG The rare times when I'm out in public (NEET) I ALWAYS stay within some semblance of dialogue within the game, it's fun to me. This was yesterday when I needed to get some cookies, a loaf of bread, and a few chicken breasts to make my favorite sandwich... >Bring all the items to the cashier >"Hi!" >"Greetings" >"Did you find everything ok?" >"Yes, and I've heard others say the same." >"Oh... That's good." >I had some other stuff on there besides my sandwich materials, so a few seconds of silence ensued. >"I saw a few geese outside of your store today. Filthy creatures." >"Oh, were they bothering anyone?" >"I steered clear of them." >She kept quiet after that, so I decided to try again. >"Any news from the other states?" >"Oh, um... No?" >She was bagging at this point so she tried to ignore me. >Dropped my money on the ground trying to pay, she was trying to hold back a smirk. I know she didn't find me cute or anything because I'm 5"6 and 280 pounds >"Don't you have a wallet?" >"That's nothing I'd care to talk about" It was pretty uncomfortable. I'm just gonna keep sticking to the game Anonymous
10/19/16(Wed)09:12:08 No.32186979 >>32186858 I actually laughed when I read this for some reason. I've modded Skyrim and Morrowind no problem, but Oblivion... It's different. 108 KB JPG The rare times when I'm out in public (NEET) I ALWAYS stay within some semblance of dialogue within the game, it's fun to me. This was yesterday when I needed to get some cookies, a loaf of bread, and a few chicken breasts to make my favorite sandwich... >Bring all the items to the cashier >"Hi!" >"Greetings" >"Did you find everything ok?" >"Yes, and I've heard others say the same." >"Oh... That's good." >I had some other stuff on there besides my sandwich materials, so a few seconds of silence ensued. >"I saw a few geese outside of your store today. Filthy creatures." >"Oh, were they bothering anyone?" >"I steered clear of them." >She kept quiet after that, so I decided to try again. >"Any news from the other states?" >"Oh, um... No?" >She was bagging at this point so she tried to ignore me. >Dropped my money on the ground trying to pay, she was trying to hold back a smirk. I know she didn't find me cute or anything because I'm 5"6 and 280 pounds >"Don't you have a wallet?" >"That's nothing I'd care to talk about" It was pretty uncomfortable. I'm just gonna keep sticking to the game Anonymous

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Anon takes shits | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/01/19(Wed) 23:18:56 No.798727633 >take massive s--- >wipe >all is good orsoithought.jpg >sitting at desk, smell s--- smell 110 KB JPG >feel something sticky on ass >f--- >go to bathroom, check underwear >massive f------ s--- stain >What the f--- >I literally wiped my ass i don't understand >spend 20 min in bathroom wiping my ass, no matter how much I wipe there's still s--- coming off of my ass I'm still in the bathroom /b/, what do I do? I'm still getting s--- particles after every wipe
: Anonymous 05/01/19(Wed) 23:18:56 No.798727633 >take massive s--- >wipe >all is good orsoithought.jpg >sitting at desk, smell s--- smell 110 KB JPG >feel something sticky on ass >f--- >go to bathroom, check underwear >massive f------ s--- stain >What the f--- >I literally wiped my ass i don't understand >spend 20 min in bathroom wiping my ass, no matter how much I wipe there's still s--- coming off of my ass I'm still in the bathroom /b/, what do I do? I'm still getting s--- particles after every wipe

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Anon thanks Lord Todd | /r/Greentext

12/14/20(Mon)22:53:19 No.842330767 >Be me >Playin Fallout >Come across a deathclaw >Had a sex mod installed for s---- 'n giggles >Forgot I had it installed >Deathclaw f------ assrapes me : Anonymous 255 KB PNG >It has custom sound >mfw Thanks, Todd
12/14/20(Mon)22:53:19 No.842330767 >Be me >Playin Fallout >Come across a deathclaw >Had a sex mod installed for s---- 'n giggles >Forgot I had it installed >Deathclaw f------ assrapes me : Anonymous 255 KB PNG >It has custom sound >mfw Thanks, Todd

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The horrible truth of a day in the life of a pokemon. | /r/Greentext

06/26/19(Wed)21:22:09 No.8032395 >be me, a Pokémon > live in forest with wife and child >go out to pick berries to feed my family >get f------ assulted and knocked out feelsbadman.jpeg >wake up in dark, red and white ball >h-------- it's cramped in here : Anonymous 412 KB JPG >sit in there for hours >get teleported out through a fookin lazah >yet again, get assaulted, and knocked out Whattheactualfuck.gif >back in the dark ball >for all I know, I could be in some guys testi >haven't seen my family in a long time... Please god help me I'm losing hope...
06/26/19(Wed)21:22:09 No.8032395 >be me, a Pokémon > live in forest with wife and child >go out to pick berries to feed my family >get f------ assulted and knocked out feelsbadman.jpeg >wake up in dark, red and white ball >h-------- it's cramped in here : Anonymous 412 KB JPG >sit in there for hours >get teleported out through a fookin lazah >yet again, get assaulted, and knocked out Whattheactualfuck.gif >back in the dark ball >for all I know, I could be in some guys testi >haven't seen my family in a long time... Please god help me I'm losing hope...

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