Greentext Stories - Images

Sorted By:

Anon has some choice words for Home Depot | /r/Greentext

File: homedepotcartproblems.jpg (1.63 MB, 1528x1466) Home Depot Horror Stories Vol.1 Anonymous 05/28/23(Sun)23:03:15 No.73487422 >Be me >Work at Home Depot as a Lot Associate >Grab carts and help customers. Not a hard job, but it can be frustrating. >About six months ago, management gets more shopping buggies. >Like, a LOT more. >The old, worn-out buggies are put in the corral in the middle of the lot. Managers tell me a scrap company will pick them up by next week. >Weeks pass, but scrap company doesn't come. Managers tell me they must've flaked, so the carts are moved to the corral over on the edge of the lot. >Unfortunately, we discover the new carts are very s-----. The metal bends out of shape easily, and they're a bitch to keep together and get undone. >They're so bad the customers end up preferring the old carts to the new ones. >Not a huge deal. It takes longer to get the job done, but customers like having more carts, so its manageable for me. >Then a couple months later, management decides to get more lumber carts. >(For those who don't know, lumber carts are the bigger ones that are designed for transporting heavier stuff like planks and concrete, s--- like that.) >In a moment of genius, management also gets more pallets of concrete and line them up underneath the canopy in front of the lumber department, the same time the new lumber carts come in. >It was under the canopy we usually store the lumber carts. >So now we have to store most of the new lumber carts in the corrals in the back of the lot. Now they're all full 24/7. >Even worse, customers are putting their buggies in these corrals, and there's no room. During busy hours, the buggies and carts overflow into the parking lot. (Pic related.) >Customers don't even use the extra lumber carts! >On most days now I'm so overwhelmed I can't even finish my job on time. >I complain to management about the situation, but they dismiss me every time. >Other Lot Associates keep quitting. Never enough people. >F--- this job.
File: homedepotcartproblems.jpg (1.63 MB, 1528x1466) Home Depot Horror Stories Vol.1 Anonymous 05/28/23(Sun)23:03:15 No.73487422 >Be me >Work at Home Depot as a Lot Associate >Grab carts and help customers. Not a hard job, but it can be frustrating. >About six months ago, management gets more shopping buggies. >Like, a LOT more. >The old, worn-out buggies are put in the corral in the middle of the lot. Managers tell me a scrap company will pick them up by next week. >Weeks pass, but scrap company doesn't come. Managers tell me they must've flaked, so the carts are moved to the corral over on the edge of the lot. >Unfortunately, we discover the new carts are very s-----. The metal bends out of shape easily, and they're a bitch to keep together and get undone. >They're so bad the customers end up preferring the old carts to the new ones. >Not a huge deal. It takes longer to get the job done, but customers like having more carts, so its manageable for me. >Then a couple months later, management decides to get more lumber carts. >(For those who don't know, lumber carts are the bigger ones that are designed for transporting heavier stuff like planks and concrete, s--- like that.) >In a moment of genius, management also gets more pallets of concrete and line them up underneath the canopy in front of the lumber department, the same time the new lumber carts come in. >It was under the canopy we usually store the lumber carts. >So now we have to store most of the new lumber carts in the corrals in the back of the lot. Now they're all full 24/7. >Even worse, customers are putting their buggies in these corrals, and there's no room. During busy hours, the buggies and carts overflow into the parking lot. (Pic related.) >Customers don't even use the extra lumber carts! >On most days now I'm so overwhelmed I can't even finish my job on time. >I complain to management about the situation, but they dismiss me every time. >Other Lot Associates keep quitting. Never enough people. >F--- this job.

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext

At least there was no flash. | /r/Greentext

Board /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 : Anonymous Whats the most humiliating exp(...) 4 60 KB JPG ▼ Settings Mobile Home 05/24/23(Wed)01:07:11 No.73427720 >be me >loser working s----- retail job >work with a 6ft tall goth girl >shes beautiful and sweet >kind of have flirty convos with her >finally ask her on a date >immediately says she has a bf >die a little on the inside >a few weeks later he comes in to the store. Riding a Harley. Drops off food for her. >model tier good looks but has a scar over his eyebrow and a bit of his face >good shape, tattoos all over and long hair >notice the guy is SHORTER than her >he picks her up with one arm and kisses her >after he leaves all the dumb girls I work with swoon over him >goth girl tells everyone how he was a Marine and now in sales or something. He makes a bunch of money >one of the girls ask if hes good in bed >goth girl deflects but finally breaks down >I listen but pretend to not notice all the girls >says his d--- is huge >he doesnt disappoint >girls squeal >try to talk a little s--- on him >immediately she gets p----- and says hes better than you in every way and to not talk about her boyfriend >says he would kick my ass >feel like s--- and totally emasculated >he comes in another day to bring her a coffee >driving a Ford Raptor >the only reason I knew it was a raptor was because of the graphics on the side of the truck >he stays a little and chats with my goth oneitis >decide to go up and introduce my self to him >honestly really nice and charming >hate him for it 05/24/23(Wed)01:13:12 No.73427773 : Anonymous >>73427720 (OP) # >decide to get some creep shots of her to at least get some pics to j------- too >snap a pic but I left my sound on >camera shutter click resonates through the quiet store >she ask what that was >wont say and deny >all the girls at the store tell me how creepy I am >they tell me I am an ugly weirdo and probably a virgin >my oneitis GF is screaming at me >she reports me and I get fired >find her a few years later and stalk her insta >her and that guy now have two kids >feel utterly cucked >moved back in with parents I want to die lads
Board /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 : Anonymous Whats the most humiliating exp(...) 4 60 KB JPG ▼ Settings Mobile Home 05/24/23(Wed)01:07:11 No.73427720 >be me >loser working s----- retail job >work with a 6ft tall goth girl >shes beautiful and sweet >kind of have flirty convos with her >finally ask her on a date >immediately says she has a bf >die a little on the inside >a few weeks later he comes in to the store. Riding a Harley. Drops off food for her. >model tier good looks but has a scar over his eyebrow and a bit of his face >good shape, tattoos all over and long hair >notice the guy is SHORTER than her >he picks her up with one arm and kisses her >after he leaves all the dumb girls I work with swoon over him >goth girl tells everyone how he was a Marine and now in sales or something. He makes a bunch of money >one of the girls ask if hes good in bed >goth girl deflects but finally breaks down >I listen but pretend to not notice all the girls >says his d--- is huge >he doesnt disappoint >girls squeal >try to talk a little s--- on him >immediately she gets p----- and says hes better than you in every way and to not talk about her boyfriend >says he would kick my ass >feel like s--- and totally emasculated >he comes in another day to bring her a coffee >driving a Ford Raptor >the only reason I knew it was a raptor was because of the graphics on the side of the truck >he stays a little and chats with my goth oneitis >decide to go up and introduce my self to him >honestly really nice and charming >hate him for it 05/24/23(Wed)01:13:12 No.73427773 : Anonymous >>73427720 (OP) # >decide to get some creep shots of her to at least get some pics to j------- too >snap a pic but I left my sound on >camera shutter click resonates through the quiet store >she ask what that was >wont say and deny >all the girls at the store tell me how creepy I am >they tell me I am an ugly weirdo and probably a virgin >my oneitis GF is screaming at me >she reports me and I get fired >find her a few years later and stalk her insta >her and that guy now have two kids >feel utterly cucked >moved back in with parents I want to die lads

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext

Anon picked the shortest straw in life | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 05/29/23(Mon)05:56:57 No.73487887 44 KB JPG > Be me > Tuesday > At train station waiting for my train to come > Another train that's passing through stops on the same platform > See hot Latina conductor get out > Pretty face, probably 5'4, nice fat ass shoved into to tight work pants, nice hair done up under her cap, but could still see it > She got on the train and it left after a minute or two > I will never see her again It's just not fair bros
Anonymous 05/29/23(Mon)05:56:57 No.73487887 44 KB JPG > Be me > Tuesday > At train station waiting for my train to come > Another train that's passing through stops on the same platform > See hot Latina conductor get out > Pretty face, probably 5'4, nice fat ass shoved into to tight work pants, nice hair done up under her cap, but could still see it > She got on the train and it left after a minute or two > I will never see her again It's just not fair bros

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext

Anon has a theory | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 12/01/20(Tue)16:02:20 No.61174419 stein.jpg 17 KB JPG >be epstein. >chilling in cell >clintons come in, forcefully cover you in oil >they leave >that was weird but okay, at least they didn't kill me. >the sprinkler turns on >shoot upwards and break neck on ceiling
Anonymous 12/01/20(Tue)16:02:20 No.61174419 stein.jpg 17 KB JPG >be epstein. >chilling in cell >clintons come in, forcefully cover you in oil >they leave >that was weird but okay, at least they didn't kill me. >the sprinkler turns on >shoot upwards and break neck on ceiling

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext

Anon has a hard pee pee | /r/Greentext

>>26797234 # Idk, I wasn't really aware enough to think it was wrong so I didn't clear the browser history. Who knows, I don't think anything happ- holy f--- I just remembered a memory I repressed. 18 KB JPG >be me, even younger >get curious about the file system in Windows >click on every folder I can find >find one with a bunch of pics in it >it's all p---, I remember one being some black chick giving a t-- job >my dad walks in >picture still on the screen I turn to him >"my pee pee feels hard" I say >He chuckles and carries the laundry he is holding into the other room. >mfw I slept in my bugs life bed sheets blissfully unaware for what I saw.
>>26797234 # Idk, I wasn't really aware enough to think it was wrong so I didn't clear the browser history. Who knows, I don't think anything happ- holy f--- I just remembered a memory I repressed. 18 KB JPG >be me, even younger >get curious about the file system in Windows >click on every folder I can find >find one with a bunch of pics in it >it's all p---, I remember one being some black chick giving a t-- job >my dad walks in >picture still on the screen I turn to him >"my pee pee feels hard" I say >He chuckles and carries the laundry he is holding into the other room. >mfw I slept in my bugs life bed sheets blissfully unaware for what I saw.

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext

Anon gets a orange | /r/Greentext

Anonymous HAPPY MEME-ORIOLE DAY 27 KB JPG 05/29/23 (Mon)07:02:14 No.73488386 >be 10th birthday >getting good gifts since I'm a big kid now >grandpas turn to give me gift >he gives me a f------ orange >look around like w-- >say "is that it?" >everyone groans and I go to the next person >afterwards mom tells me an orange was the best gift during the depression >whatever.mp3 >later on playing with my new toys in the yard >everyone goes to side of house to look at something >they leave grandpa in his wheelchair out front >I get the orange and throw it into the street and it rolls down the hill >he starts to cry a bit >family comes back >tells me to play with grandpa, he's looking bored >show him some pokemon cards and tell him the best things come from japan >he seethes and calls me bad names >lol as he gets wheeled inside >he really tried to save america and get a purple heart in okinawa just to gift his grandson an orange
Anonymous HAPPY MEME-ORIOLE DAY 27 KB JPG 05/29/23 (Mon)07:02:14 No.73488386 >be 10th birthday >getting good gifts since I'm a big kid now >grandpas turn to give me gift >he gives me a f------ orange >look around like w-- >say "is that it?" >everyone groans and I go to the next person >afterwards mom tells me an orange was the best gift during the depression >whatever.mp3 >later on playing with my new toys in the yard >everyone goes to side of house to look at something >they leave grandpa in his wheelchair out front >I get the orange and throw it into the street and it rolls down the hill >he starts to cry a bit >family comes back >tells me to play with grandpa, he's looking bored >show him some pokemon cards and tell him the best things come from japan >he seethes and calls me bad names >lol as he gets wheeled inside >he really tried to save america and get a purple heart in okinawa just to gift his grandson an orange

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext

Anon goes on a feel trip | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 05/29/23 (Mon)06:03:06 No.73487935 >biked by my childhood home today >was sold 13 years ago to a chinese investor couple >turned into airbnb >old neighbor told me it's been abandoned for a over year >whole property used to look beautiful >parents took so much pride in our home >now completely overrun and falling apart >treated with such little care that even the back door was left unlocked >said f--- it and go inside >it's all been been completely destroyed >water leaks in ceiling, debris all over the floor, holes in every wall >all our old furniture is still there from the day we moved out >our family dinner table >dads old workshop in the basement >my childhood bedroom >thousands of memories everywhere I looked >yet it was all so unrecognizable 31 KB PNG
Anonymous 05/29/23 (Mon)06:03:06 No.73487935 >biked by my childhood home today >was sold 13 years ago to a chinese investor couple >turned into airbnb >old neighbor told me it's been abandoned for a over year >whole property used to look beautiful >parents took so much pride in our home >now completely overrun and falling apart >treated with such little care that even the back door was left unlocked >said f--- it and go inside >it's all been been completely destroyed >water leaks in ceiling, debris all over the floor, holes in every wall >all our old furniture is still there from the day we moved out >our family dinner table >dads old workshop in the basement >my childhood bedroom >thousands of memories everywhere I looked >yet it was all so unrecognizable 31 KB PNG

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext

Anon seeks a free therapist | /r/Greentext

Anonymous what did he mean by this? She was asauited or ayythitsg just for the laternen 59 KB JPG 05/29/23(Mon)01:28:04 No.7348556 >go to free euro gov therapist >tell him i am diagnosed autistic and have issues with going related to it outside/work/school/socializing and that i am sad because i am constantly forced to do em >he responds that he is not educated at autism that much but that i am probs just depressed and anxious and prescribes me ssris and xanax i als asked if i could ask about disability and he was iffy on it but i get that since we europoor
Anonymous what did he mean by this? She was asauited or ayythitsg just for the laternen 59 KB JPG 05/29/23(Mon)01:28:04 No.7348556 >go to free euro gov therapist >tell him i am diagnosed autistic and have issues with going related to it outside/work/school/socializing and that i am sad because i am constantly forced to do em >he responds that he is not educated at autism that much but that i am probs just depressed and anxious and prescribes me ssris and xanax i als asked if i could ask about disability and he was iffy on it but i get that since we europoor

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext

Anon gets played | /r/Greentext

Frederick A Allen Bless Ya Food Before You Eat- #Amen 134 KB JPG >be me (18f) >meet tall skinny emo boy on tinder (22m) >exchange snapchats >we talk and plan to meet >he picks me up at 1030 pm that night >we go to the park and talk in his car for an hour and a half >we realize we unknowingly met before at a house show 2 weeks prior >he decided to call it a night and drops me off to stay w my friend >she tells me send thirst trap >i do it >4 hours later of snapping he asks to pick me up at 430 am >i do it >we go to empty parking lot and we talk for a bit >he asks if i have ever gave head >i say no because i have not >he says he will teach me >after all is done he spends an hour showing me his soundcloud music >we go to the park by my house where we originally were the night before >we talk more about people we mutually know >i say its time for me to go home before my dad gets back >he asks for a "favor" >its 7 in the morning broad daylight and people around >i dont like saying no because i dont like hurting feelings >i do it >he takes me home >im retarded and say "PLEASE DONT GHOST ME" >he fist bumps me and drives off >walk of shame to my room >i text him when i get to my room >no reply >i stalk his snapmap and hes active but no reply >i got home at 745 am and it is now almost 10pm >i found his other social medias and the address he is currently at and i have been scream crying because i know i got played hard
Frederick A Allen Bless Ya Food Before You Eat- #Amen 134 KB JPG >be me (18f) >meet tall skinny emo boy on tinder (22m) >exchange snapchats >we talk and plan to meet >he picks me up at 1030 pm that night >we go to the park and talk in his car for an hour and a half >we realize we unknowingly met before at a house show 2 weeks prior >he decided to call it a night and drops me off to stay w my friend >she tells me send thirst trap >i do it >4 hours later of snapping he asks to pick me up at 430 am >i do it >we go to empty parking lot and we talk for a bit >he asks if i have ever gave head >i say no because i have not >he says he will teach me >after all is done he spends an hour showing me his soundcloud music >we go to the park by my house where we originally were the night before >we talk more about people we mutually know >i say its time for me to go home before my dad gets back >he asks for a "favor" >its 7 in the morning broad daylight and people around >i dont like saying no because i dont like hurting feelings >i do it >he takes me home >im retarded and say "PLEASE DONT GHOST ME" >he fist bumps me and drives off >walk of shame to my room >i text him when i get to my room >no reply >i stalk his snapmap and hes active but no reply >i got home at 745 am and it is now almost 10pm >i found his other social medias and the address he is currently at and i have been scream crying because i know i got played hard

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext

Anon attracts creeps | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 17 05/29/23 (Mon)05:52:57 No.73487851 174 KB PNG >be me >girl who is not obese >into fgc (mostly street fighter) >go to anime convention >notices guy in crowd, super muscular in vega cosplay >asks for a picture >sees a Q cosplay in the crowd >we all chat over street fighter >happy >vega goes in for a hug >too scared to say no >he's covered in coconut oil >calls me a cute girl multiple times >goes in for another hug, this time saying to the other guy that i smell nice >walks away quickly are all gamefags like this or do i only attract creeps and losers
Anonymous 17 05/29/23 (Mon)05:52:57 No.73487851 174 KB PNG >be me >girl who is not obese >into fgc (mostly street fighter) >go to anime convention >notices guy in crowd, super muscular in vega cosplay >asks for a picture >sees a Q cosplay in the crowd >we all chat over street fighter >happy >vega goes in for a hug >too scared to say no >he's covered in coconut oil >calls me a cute girl multiple times >goes in for another hug, this time saying to the other guy that i smell nice >walks away quickly are all gamefags like this or do i only attract creeps and losers

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext

Anon makes a friend | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 05/27/23 (Sat)21:54:32 No.29024940 File: u108ua8m38q51.png (105 KB, 520x579) >meet a guy in local indoor sports complex >we decide to train together for weeks and get along well >finally happy to have a male friend who is so smart, positive and open minded >all of a sudden he starts sending me unsubtle gay s--- God damn it.
Anonymous 05/27/23 (Sat)21:54:32 No.29024940 File: u108ua8m38q51.png (105 KB, 520x579) >meet a guy in local indoor sports complex >we decide to train together for weeks and get along well >finally happy to have a male friend who is so smart, positive and open minded >all of a sudden he starts sending me unsubtle gay s--- God damn it.

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext

and that's terrible | /r/Greentext

File: Esquadr%C3%A3o-Suicida-Am(...).png (787 KB, 1536x863) Anonymous 05/28/23(Sun)19:25:16 No.137436325 [Reply] ► I don't understand how such a disciplined person could be so fat. 4 replies and 2 images omitted. Click here to view. Anonymous 05/28/23(Sun)19:31:12 No.137436380 File: 4990042-3341973915-cm-ca.png (264 KB, 588x425) >>137436400 >>137436411 >>137436444 >>137436485 >>137436366 see you like your women the way Lex Luthor likes his cakes: chocolate and over forty.
File: Esquadr%C3%A3o-Suicida-Am(...).png (787 KB, 1536x863) Anonymous 05/28/23(Sun)19:25:16 No.137436325 [Reply] ► I don't understand how such a disciplined person could be so fat. 4 replies and 2 images omitted. Click here to view. Anonymous 05/28/23(Sun)19:31:12 No.137436380 File: 4990042-3341973915-cm-ca.png (264 KB, 588x425) >>137436400 >>137436411 >>137436444 >>137436485 >>137436366 see you like your women the way Lex Luthor likes his cakes: chocolate and over forty.

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext

That's a bad therapist | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous HOW TO DEAL WITH DEPRESSION STEP ONE... memegenerator.net 10 KB JPG 03/31/21 (Wed)17:49:25 No.63001012 >go to therapy >therapist says i'll never be happy unless i "get my life together" >get a job >8 hours a day of free exercise >use money to order meal kits to eat healthy >start taking vitamins >lose some weight >save up enough to move out of my parents >have my own room in a place with decent roommates >still depressed >still have panic attacks >just busy 8 hours a day now
: Anonymous HOW TO DEAL WITH DEPRESSION STEP ONE... memegenerator.net 10 KB JPG 03/31/21 (Wed)17:49:25 No.63001012 >go to therapy >therapist says i'll never be happy unless i "get my life together" >get a job >8 hours a day of free exercise >use money to order meal kits to eat healthy >start taking vitamins >lose some weight >save up enough to move out of my parents >have my own room in a place with decent roommates >still depressed >still have panic attacks >just busy 8 hours a day now

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext

anon tries to get a job | /r/Greentext

File: Screenshot 2023-05-28 184929.png (73 KB, 713x951) Lesson 02 Protected Classes Sex Discrimination Sex Discrimination Sex Discrimination Genetic Information Genetic Information Religious Discrimination Religious Discrimination Religious Discrimination Race and Color Discrimination National Origin Discrimination National Origin Discrimination Human Trafficking Anonymous 05/28/23(Sun)18:53:55 No.900038087 >be me >trying to get a job >this is part of the training ah s--- lads i dont think i can do it
File: Screenshot 2023-05-28 184929.png (73 KB, 713x951) Lesson 02 Protected Classes Sex Discrimination Sex Discrimination Sex Discrimination Genetic Information Genetic Information Religious Discrimination Religious Discrimination Religious Discrimination Race and Color Discrimination National Origin Discrimination National Origin Discrimination Human Trafficking Anonymous 05/28/23(Sun)18:53:55 No.900038087 >be me >trying to get a job >this is part of the training ah s--- lads i dont think i can do it

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext

Anon is hungry | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: J7gu9Z2M E 05/28/23(Sun)23:03:46 No.428658737 chinese_aircraft_carrier_@31.34153145,121.75374769,3.81027461a,594.5 Anonymous (ID: YHHT3D79 china's new aircraft carrier the "Fujian", notice anything? 116 Replies / 25 Images 331 KB JPG FE View Thread 05/29/23 (Mon)01:00:52 No.428669406 >>428667592 # Yeah sure chang is my f------ lo mein ready?
Anonymous (ID: J7gu9Z2M E 05/28/23(Sun)23:03:46 No.428658737 chinese_aircraft_carrier_@31.34153145,121.75374769,3.81027461a,594.5 Anonymous (ID: YHHT3D79 china's new aircraft carrier the "Fujian", notice anything? 116 Replies / 25 Images 331 KB JPG FE View Thread 05/29/23 (Mon)01:00:52 No.428669406 >>428667592 # Yeah sure chang is my f------ lo mein ready?

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext

Help me find a greentext please. It's chad watching the ring/ringu and when she comes out of the tv he's like "i think she wants to suck my dick bro" | /r/Greentext


Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext

Anon gets shitfaced drunk | /r/Greentext

>>185600157 # >get insanely drunk with roommate during COVID lockdown >first time drinking in months >get blind drunk >have good time >go to bed >wake up in cold sweat 2 hours later >still blind drunk >have to s--- >waddle over to favorite armchair >rip boxers off with tard-strength >tore them completely asunder and threw them at wall >squat over favorite armchair >squeeze out a humongous log of a s--- right on my favorite chair >like a savage f------ animal >realize what I am doing just as it is leaving my ass >look down to assess damage >grab face mask from desk and use it to grab poop >throw poop out in trash >wake up next morning >faint smell of s--- in room >remember the deed >feel ashamed but too hungover to really care >have to go to supermarket to get breakfast >grab my bag and keys and things >arrive at supermarket >shop >some store clerk tells me to put on my mask >grab it from my pocket and put it on automatically >realize too late >l accidentally brought the same mask I used to grab the poop with in my hungover state >I didn't throw it out with the poop but put it back on my desk >why.png >vomit violently in mask >face is covered in both s--- and vomit >get some ham and sliced cheese to make french toast WHAT A LIFE
>>185600157 # >get insanely drunk with roommate during COVID lockdown >first time drinking in months >get blind drunk >have good time >go to bed >wake up in cold sweat 2 hours later >still blind drunk >have to s--- >waddle over to favorite armchair >rip boxers off with tard-strength >tore them completely asunder and threw them at wall >squat over favorite armchair >squeeze out a humongous log of a s--- right on my favorite chair >like a savage f------ animal >realize what I am doing just as it is leaving my ass >look down to assess damage >grab face mask from desk and use it to grab poop >throw poop out in trash >wake up next morning >faint smell of s--- in room >remember the deed >feel ashamed but too hungover to really care >have to go to supermarket to get breakfast >grab my bag and keys and things >arrive at supermarket >shop >some store clerk tells me to put on my mask >grab it from my pocket and put it on automatically >realize too late >l accidentally brought the same mask I used to grab the poop with in my hungover state >I didn't throw it out with the poop but put it back on my desk >why.png >vomit violently in mask >face is covered in both s--- and vomit >get some ham and sliced cheese to make french toast WHAT A LIFE

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext

Anon gets in the car with a stranger | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 05/28/23(Sun)15:00:09 No.34886517 ► >>34886528 File: Screenshot_20230528_16561(...).jpg (761 KB, 1079x2265) (1/3) This is far from the creepiest story itt but it still trips me up. Never greentexted before so sorry in advance if I break convention. I've never typed out this story in full so I'll try to keep it detailed >tldr hallucinated an imaginary good sumaritan bro who drove me and my friend home after a concert for free >be me, september 3rd of last year >me and my buddy, A, got tickets to see carpenter brut in baltimore >we live about 5 hours south so we book a hotel to stay at after the show >wagies so the only hotel we can afford is about 40 minutes from the venue in downtown That's all the groundwork for the story. We made it down fine (even though there was a really heavy rain), get to the hotel and crash for an hour or two before we decide to go downtown. >my friend A doesn't want to drive anymore after 5 hours in the car so we decide to take an Uber downtown >make it downtown fine, get some good pizza and hop in line for the show. Doors opening in a little over an hour maybe so we're first in line >as the line fills up we notice more and more people dressed up >lots of black jeans, leather vests, and boots >start talking to this dude behind us about the show, music, and baltimore because he was a local >tells us his name is Will, probably mid-20s >black leather jacket, black leather pants, gloves, facepaint >super cool guy, i'm usually pretty introverted but we spend the hour talking about a bunch of stuff >probably feel comfortable around him because he's like a foot shorter than me >my friend A spends his time on his phone, tells me he's just tired from driving so much earlier >eventually doors open up and we all fill inside >me and A go to the merch stand, Will goes to the stage and we get seperated >don't see Will again for the whole show Cue 2 hours of (sober) moshing to french hardcore synthwave >concert ends, me and A are covered in sweat and leave the venue. Its about midnight now Anonymous 05/28/23(Sun)15:01:33 No.34886528 ► >>34886534 File: Screenshot_20230528_16555(...).jpg (699 KB, 1080x2266) >>34886517 (2/3) >we're both tired and don't really want to go anywehre else so we decide to try to call an Uber again >A's phone is not working, keeps getting connection errors, payment errors, everytime he tries to use the app >try mine and get the same thing >ohshit.gif >figure that the app was probably overloaded because so many people were trying to use it at once so we decide to walk a few blocks down the street and try again >walk around 20 minutes and try >Error >walk another 20 minutes >Error >look around and realize that we've walked outside of the gentrified lit up downtown baltimore and now we're in the real downtown baltimore >say f--- it and try to walk back to the venue thinking maybe one of the staff can help us get a taxi >walk for about five minutes before we notice a person in all black coming towards us from the opposite direction >short dude >recognize that it's Will from earlier >I explain our situation to him >"I know this is weird but our phone's aren't working. Could you call us an Uber and I can send you some money to cover the cost?" >dude agrees >pulls up the app on his phone and sees that it would cost us like $60 for a ride back to the hotel >"Nah man you shouldn't have to pay that much. My car's parked in that parking garage over there. Your hotel is on my way, I'll give you a ride back." >start getting a little creeped out, me and A look at each other but Will seems like a nice guy and we don't have any other option so we agree >follow this dude who we never met back to his car through the sketchiest parkaing garage i've ever neen in >neither of us know the area so the whole time we're just texting each other shitless >i even share my location with my mother just in case >eventually though, we get back to the hotel, Will explains that he took a back way to avoid the busy downtown traffic >i try to give him a $20 bill but he refused and said it was no problem >we go inside a little creeped out but glad to be at the hotel and crash ☐ Anonymous 05/28/23(Sun)15:02:36 No.34886534 ► >>34886584 File: 20230528_154827.jpg (1.27 MB, 2246x4000) >>34886528 (3/3) This is where the weird part came in >next morning wake up in the hotel >say to A "man, that was sketchy last night, wasn't it?" >"what do you mean?" >"taking that ride from that Will guy last night" >my friend looks at me like i'm retarded and asks w-- i'm talking about >tells me that we didn't meet anyone named Will last night >says that I was talking to someone in line but it was just a few words with a normal guy and i never asked his name >I ask A how we got back to the hotel last night >"we um.. we..." >A says he doesn't remember coming home, he just figured he was tired and i called another uber or something >neither one of us has any idea what really happened that night Did we get r---- or was this paranormal? picrel is a minidisk that "Will" gave me in his car before we left. He said he didn't have a player so it was useless for him. At some point I must've misplaced it because I couldn't find it the next morning.
Anonymous 05/28/23(Sun)15:00:09 No.34886517 ► >>34886528 File: Screenshot_20230528_16561(...).jpg (761 KB, 1079x2265) (1/3) This is far from the creepiest story itt but it still trips me up. Never greentexted before so sorry in advance if I break convention. I've never typed out this story in full so I'll try to keep it detailed >tldr hallucinated an imaginary good sumaritan bro who drove me and my friend home after a concert for free >be me, september 3rd of last year >me and my buddy, A, got tickets to see carpenter brut in baltimore >we live about 5 hours south so we book a hotel to stay at after the show >wagies so the only hotel we can afford is about 40 minutes from the venue in downtown That's all the groundwork for the story. We made it down fine (even though there was a really heavy rain), get to the hotel and crash for an hour or two before we decide to go downtown. >my friend A doesn't want to drive anymore after 5 hours in the car so we decide to take an Uber downtown >make it downtown fine, get some good pizza and hop in line for the show. Doors opening in a little over an hour maybe so we're first in line >as the line fills up we notice more and more people dressed up >lots of black jeans, leather vests, and boots >start talking to this dude behind us about the show, music, and baltimore because he was a local >tells us his name is Will, probably mid-20s >black leather jacket, black leather pants, gloves, facepaint >super cool guy, i'm usually pretty introverted but we spend the hour talking about a bunch of stuff >probably feel comfortable around him because he's like a foot shorter than me >my friend A spends his time on his phone, tells me he's just tired from driving so much earlier >eventually doors open up and we all fill inside >me and A go to the merch stand, Will goes to the stage and we get seperated >don't see Will again for the whole show Cue 2 hours of (sober) moshing to french hardcore synthwave >concert ends, me and A are covered in sweat and leave the venue. Its about midnight now Anonymous 05/28/23(Sun)15:01:33 No.34886528 ► >>34886534 File: Screenshot_20230528_16555(...).jpg (699 KB, 1080x2266) >>34886517 (2/3) >we're both tired and don't really want to go anywehre else so we decide to try to call an Uber again >A's phone is not working, keeps getting connection errors, payment errors, everytime he tries to use the app >try mine and get the same thing >ohshit.gif >figure that the app was probably overloaded because so many people were trying to use it at once so we decide to walk a few blocks down the street and try again >walk around 20 minutes and try >Error >walk another 20 minutes >Error >look around and realize that we've walked outside of the gentrified lit up downtown baltimore and now we're in the real downtown baltimore >say f--- it and try to walk back to the venue thinking maybe one of the staff can help us get a taxi >walk for about five minutes before we notice a person in all black coming towards us from the opposite direction >short dude >recognize that it's Will from earlier >I explain our situation to him >"I know this is weird but our phone's aren't working. Could you call us an Uber and I can send you some money to cover the cost?" >dude agrees >pulls up the app on his phone and sees that it would cost us like $60 for a ride back to the hotel >"Nah man you shouldn't have to pay that much. My car's parked in that parking garage over there. Your hotel is on my way, I'll give you a ride back." >start getting a little creeped out, me and A look at each other but Will seems like a nice guy and we don't have any other option so we agree >follow this dude who we never met back to his car through the sketchiest parkaing garage i've ever neen in >neither of us know the area so the whole time we're just texting each other shitless >i even share my location with my mother just in case >eventually though, we get back to the hotel, Will explains that he took a back way to avoid the busy downtown traffic >i try to give him a $20 bill but he refused and said it was no problem >we go inside a little creeped out but glad to be at the hotel and crash ☐ Anonymous 05/28/23(Sun)15:02:36 No.34886534 ► >>34886584 File: 20230528_154827.jpg (1.27 MB, 2246x4000) >>34886528 (3/3) This is where the weird part came in >next morning wake up in the hotel >say to A "man, that was sketchy last night, wasn't it?" >"what do you mean?" >"taking that ride from that Will guy last night" >my friend looks at me like i'm retarded and asks w-- i'm talking about >tells me that we didn't meet anyone named Will last night >says that I was talking to someone in line but it was just a few words with a normal guy and i never asked his name >I ask A how we got back to the hotel last night >"we um.. we..." >A says he doesn't remember coming home, he just figured he was tired and i called another uber or something >neither one of us has any idea what really happened that night Did we get r---- or was this paranormal? picrel is a minidisk that "Will" gave me in his car before we left. He said he didn't have a player so it was useless for him. At some point I must've misplaced it because I couldn't find it the next morning.

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext

Anon needs to think consequences | /r/Greentext

Anonymous LT 05/28/23(Sun)18:59:32 No.7348119: 23 KB JPG >try to get a prostate orgasm after many trials >doing the act with a dildo >feel a strange warm tingling sensation i've never felt in past tries >continue >midway trought moans, precum leaks and panting i feel like taking dildo out for release >as i quickly take it out i manage to spurt a little of c-- and instantly relax my entire body >my relax is followed up by a solid rancid strand of s---, lube and water from earlier enema >as i barely recovered from said relax, i can already smell the s--- aroma >look back and see white wall with watery-brown stains >s--- stain is sliding down the wall into the baseboard >take up to 2 hours of cleaning entire area with bleach to get rid of smell >sit down on my chair and reflect upon my life's choices
Anonymous LT 05/28/23(Sun)18:59:32 No.7348119: 23 KB JPG >try to get a prostate orgasm after many trials >doing the act with a dildo >feel a strange warm tingling sensation i've never felt in past tries >continue >midway trought moans, precum leaks and panting i feel like taking dildo out for release >as i quickly take it out i manage to spurt a little of c-- and instantly relax my entire body >my relax is followed up by a solid rancid strand of s---, lube and water from earlier enema >as i barely recovered from said relax, i can already smell the s--- aroma >look back and see white wall with watery-brown stains >s--- stain is sliding down the wall into the baseboard >take up to 2 hours of cleaning entire area with bleach to get rid of smell >sit down on my chair and reflect upon my life's choices

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext

Men these days | /r/Greentext

Anonymous Why are men these days so un-p(...) 99 KB JPG 05/28/23(Sun)16:30:38 No.73479911 >Be me >Out on a walk with my BF >We're going steady and I think I might want to marry him >Notice just one little thing >He's not on the car side of the sidewalk >Start feeling nervous, unsafe >"Alright Nona if you're gonna marry this guy you'd better be sure he's for real" >Think up a way to test him >Get an idea >Run out into the traffic as fast as I can, looking backward to see his reaction >Not only does he not immediately react and dart after me to grab be, he actually just stands there and says "Nona what the f--- are you doing!?" >Car comes to a screeching halt, the car behind that car rear ends it >Like a full three seconds later, the scrote walks after me (walks, doesn't run!) >Starts berating me about embarrassing him in public >Walks over to the guy who almost hit me, apologizes profusely, saying "I don't know what got into her." >Offers to pay for the damage >After he's through with kissing my attacker's ass he tells me I need to see a psychiatrist or else the relationship is over Moids, explain yourselves.
Anonymous Why are men these days so un-p(...) 99 KB JPG 05/28/23(Sun)16:30:38 No.73479911 >Be me >Out on a walk with my BF >We're going steady and I think I might want to marry him >Notice just one little thing >He's not on the car side of the sidewalk >Start feeling nervous, unsafe >"Alright Nona if you're gonna marry this guy you'd better be sure he's for real" >Think up a way to test him >Get an idea >Run out into the traffic as fast as I can, looking backward to see his reaction >Not only does he not immediately react and dart after me to grab be, he actually just stands there and says "Nona what the f--- are you doing!?" >Car comes to a screeching halt, the car behind that car rear ends it >Like a full three seconds later, the scrote walks after me (walks, doesn't run!) >Starts berating me about embarrassing him in public >Walks over to the guy who almost hit me, apologizes profusely, saying "I don't know what got into her." >Offers to pay for the damage >After he's through with kissing my attacker's ass he tells me I need to see a psychiatrist or else the relationship is over Moids, explain yourselves.

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext