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anon is an animal person | /r/Greentext

Anonymous | 790197942 49 min. ago ••• >at a party >sitting alone and petting dog because aspergers.jpg >cute 6/10 with nice tight bod comes up to me > "hehe are you more of a dog person than a cat person anon" Autism kicks in 178.3 kB JPG > "hehe a holes a hole to me"
Anonymous | 790197942 49 min. ago ••• >at a party >sitting alone and petting dog because aspergers.jpg >cute 6/10 with nice tight bod comes up to me > "hehe are you more of a dog person than a cat person anon" Autism kicks in 178.3 kB JPG > "hehe a holes a hole to me"

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Girls Rule the World | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/19/21(Sun)20:48:55 No.65448551 >girl I like that I've been friends with for years has a serious thing for crossdressers and trannies >has always joked about wanting to get our nails done together or put makeup on me and other s--- like that 1.19 MB JPG >finally say yeah she can put makeup on me >go over to her house after work and she does it >she is ridiculously into it >she kissed me after (my first kiss) is this how I will end up losing my virginity because I feel weird
: Anonymous 09/19/21(Sun)20:48:55 No.65448551 >girl I like that I've been friends with for years has a serious thing for crossdressers and trannies >has always joked about wanting to get our nails done together or put makeup on me and other s--- like that 1.19 MB JPG >finally say yeah she can put makeup on me >go over to her house after work and she does it >she is ridiculously into it >she kissed me after (my first kiss) is this how I will end up losing my virginity because I feel weird

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Superior Nation. | /r/Greentext

File (hide): 1ce664e2da12cb6..png (56.32 KB, 750x950, 15:19. skeleton german wojak by p.png) (h) (u. [-) ► Anonymous (You) 09/20/21 (Mon) 21:53:32 No.62924 [Watch Thread] [Show All Posts] >be me, 19 year old femanon >become exchange student, and go to the US >host family is nice >their son, lets call him Dave, is cute >ffw 3 months >son celebrates birthday, he turns 18 >he was eyeballing me the whole time >think that he might have a shot at me, if he tries it >we get completely wasted, his parents go to sleep, we move to their party shed >some people leave early, we are left with his "core" group of 5 friends. >l become topic of the conversation >they ask many questions about my homeland >"We already know most germans are still Nazis, why are you like this?" >"You do not really have freedom there, must be nice to experience the Us, right?" >"I heard age of consent in germany is 14, why are most of your men pedophiles?" >S--- went on like that for almost 20 minutes, while I tried to explain stuff to them with my heavy german accent >Get ridiculed, and mocked, they wont even listen, even Dave joins in >Go outside in tears >Some times passes >Dave comes to me >Wraps his arm around my back, and tells me that it's alright, that it was all just fun and games >I smell his alcoholic breath, instantly disgusted >He tries to close in for a kiss, I push him away >He grabs my neck and tells me that I shouldn't play hard to get, he knows that german women like it rough >Scream at the top of my lungs for help >His father comes outside, only wearing underwear >Asks what happened >Point at his son, tell him that he tried to force himself upon me >Father completely flips, and gives his son a clean uppercut >Instant knockout >Comforts me, takes me inside, his wife listens in shock as I explained everything that happened >Can't believe what I just told her >They tell me that they he will not get away easy, and that they will get the police involved
File (hide): 1ce664e2da12cb6..png (56.32 KB, 750x950, 15:19. skeleton german wojak by p.png) (h) (u. [-) ► Anonymous (You) 09/20/21 (Mon) 21:53:32 No.62924 [Watch Thread] [Show All Posts] >be me, 19 year old femanon >become exchange student, and go to the US >host family is nice >their son, lets call him Dave, is cute >ffw 3 months >son celebrates birthday, he turns 18 >he was eyeballing me the whole time >think that he might have a shot at me, if he tries it >we get completely wasted, his parents go to sleep, we move to their party shed >some people leave early, we are left with his "core" group of 5 friends. >l become topic of the conversation >they ask many questions about my homeland >"We already know most germans are still Nazis, why are you like this?" >"You do not really have freedom there, must be nice to experience the Us, right?" >"I heard age of consent in germany is 14, why are most of your men pedophiles?" >S--- went on like that for almost 20 minutes, while I tried to explain stuff to them with my heavy german accent >Get ridiculed, and mocked, they wont even listen, even Dave joins in >Go outside in tears >Some times passes >Dave comes to me >Wraps his arm around my back, and tells me that it's alright, that it was all just fun and games >I smell his alcoholic breath, instantly disgusted >He tries to close in for a kiss, I push him away >He grabs my neck and tells me that I shouldn't play hard to get, he knows that german women like it rough >Scream at the top of my lungs for help >His father comes outside, only wearing underwear >Asks what happened >Point at his son, tell him that he tried to force himself upon me >Father completely flips, and gives his son a clean uppercut >Instant knockout >Comforts me, takes me inside, his wife listens in shock as I explained everything that happened >Can't believe what I just told her >They tell me that they he will not get away easy, and that they will get the police involved

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Anon plays guitar | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/20/21(Mon)19:09:59 No.106060911 >be me, 13 >always listened to pop music because of siblings >feel kinda empty inside SAVER >find classic rock because of local AAVER radio station 30 KB JPG >feelsgood.png >beg parents for guitar >dad buya a cheap ass guitar+amp combo because he saw I actually wanted to do something with my life >start self teaching myself with tabs >ffw 6 years >bought my own gear + dream guitar >jam with some friends to slayer, slipknot and iron maiden >my dad enjoys watching us jam Thanks dad
: Anonymous 09/20/21(Mon)19:09:59 No.106060911 >be me, 13 >always listened to pop music because of siblings >feel kinda empty inside SAVER >find classic rock because of local AAVER radio station 30 KB JPG >feelsgood.png >beg parents for guitar >dad buya a cheap ass guitar+amp combo because he saw I actually wanted to do something with my life >start self teaching myself with tabs >ffw 6 years >bought my own gear + dream guitar >jam with some friends to slayer, slipknot and iron maiden >my dad enjoys watching us jam Thanks dad

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Anon terraforms America | /r/Greentext

fire.jpg 364 KB JPG >>152305387 (OP) # >1920 >be californian >get duped into buying Australian eucalyptus trees >plant thousands of acres >Australians forget to mention it takes at least 100 years for the trees to mature >thousands of investors go broke >2017 >100 years later eucalyptus trees have spread everywhere and have finally matured >Australians also forgot to mention the trees produce a highly flammable toxic oil that builds up in the tree >california burns down
fire.jpg 364 KB JPG >>152305387 (OP) # >1920 >be californian >get duped into buying Australian eucalyptus trees >plant thousands of acres >Australians forget to mention it takes at least 100 years for the trees to mature >thousands of investors go broke >2017 >100 years later eucalyptus trees have spread everywhere and have finally matured >Australians also forgot to mention the trees produce a highly flammable toxic oil that builds up in the tree >california burns down

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Anon meets a Redditor | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/20/21 (Sat)20:13:42 No.850099251 Immeasurable Disappointment >boring forgettable day so far >get a text from a coworker >kinda greasy sketchy neckbearded dude but not annoying, have made small talk with him before at work 15 KB JPG >"Hey anon wanna come over and smoke" >hell yeah weed time >pull up to the address he gave me >dilapidated trailer by a pond, smells like dog s--- >oh well at least i get to smoke >hesitantly enter trailer >"Hey anon! (small talk)" >honestly just waiting to smoke, decide to bring it up >"You down to smoke?" >"You know it" >mfw he pulls out a pack of cigarettes
: Anonymous 03/20/21 (Sat)20:13:42 No.850099251 Immeasurable Disappointment >boring forgettable day so far >get a text from a coworker >kinda greasy sketchy neckbearded dude but not annoying, have made small talk with him before at work 15 KB JPG >"Hey anon wanna come over and smoke" >hell yeah weed time >pull up to the address he gave me >dilapidated trailer by a pond, smells like dog s--- >oh well at least i get to smoke >hesitantly enter trailer >"Hey anon! (small talk)" >honestly just waiting to smoke, decide to bring it up >"You down to smoke?" >"You know it" >mfw he pulls out a pack of cigarettes

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Never change | /r/Greentext

Anonymous | 847010763 1 hr. ago > sarge is an army jeep > WW2 happened in the cars universe > there was a cars Hitler > there was a cars Anne Frank > there was a cars Pearl Harbor 341.8 kB PNG 12 REPLIES 22 IMAGES REPLY Anonymous | 847010819 1 hr. ago awesome
Anonymous | 847010763 1 hr. ago > sarge is an army jeep > WW2 happened in the cars universe > there was a cars Hitler > there was a cars Anne Frank > there was a cars Pearl Harbor 341.8 kB PNG 12 REPLIES 22 IMAGES REPLY Anonymous | 847010819 1 hr. ago awesome

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Anon has a mental breakdown. | /r/Greentext

O Anonymous 09/20/21(Mon)08:15:40 No.65447924 [Reply] >>65449227 >>65449663 share your stories about females you aren't sexually attracted >having a mental breakdown due to stress >call a girl l've been friends with for a long time >she tells me she's unconfortable with the situation and that I need to solve my mental health issues by myself and s--- >harsh but fair enough >ffw like 2 months >wake up and check discord as I always do >150 new agressive messages from her >ask her what the f--- is her problem >tells me that while I was sleeping she tried to call me 3 times because she was having a mental breakdown and needed someone to comfort her >mfw
O Anonymous 09/20/21(Mon)08:15:40 No.65447924 [Reply] >>65449227 >>65449663 share your stories about females you aren't sexually attracted >having a mental breakdown due to stress >call a girl l've been friends with for a long time >she tells me she's unconfortable with the situation and that I need to solve my mental health issues by myself and s--- >harsh but fair enough >ffw like 2 months >wake up and check discord as I always do >150 new agressive messages from her >ask her what the f--- is her problem >tells me that while I was sleeping she tried to call me 3 times because she was having a mental breakdown and needed someone to comfort her >mfw

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Anon fails nofap | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/20/21(Mon)18:35:38 No.863467616 > Okay I just had the weirdest thing happen to me on my day 2 of no fap, I was taking a s--- and struggling to push it out and simultaneously I kid you not| randomly e-------- as I push my s--- out, I'm just sitting there dumbfounded as to why the f--- this happened, there was no pleasure to my s---, nothing strange I wasn't fapping I swear to god I just randomly.. e--------- while s-------. WHAT THE F---? Anyways mission failed life really | 67 KB JPG | hates me Imao
: Anonymous 09/20/21(Mon)18:35:38 No.863467616 > Okay I just had the weirdest thing happen to me on my day 2 of no fap, I was taking a s--- and struggling to push it out and simultaneously I kid you not| randomly e-------- as I push my s--- out, I'm just sitting there dumbfounded as to why the f--- this happened, there was no pleasure to my s---, nothing strange I wasn't fapping I swear to god I just randomly.. e--------- while s-------. WHAT THE F---? Anyways mission failed life really | 67 KB JPG | hates me Imao

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Anon got trolled by a girl | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/17/21(Sat)22:26:43 No.64603398 >be me >travel to europe for the summer >troll a school friend because shes gay >tell the school friend to kill herself >wait a few days 4 KB JPG >her mom calls to tell me she actually did it >mfw i heard the news >her mom says I was mentioned in the suicide note, but not in a good way >attached image again >go to sleep with the burden of thinking a human died because of you >wake up >check texts >read a text from the person you thought died >she said it was fake just to guilt trip me man 2 Replies / 1 Image View Thread : Anonymous 07/17/21(Sat)22:38:41 No.64603473 >>64603398 (OP) # >le epic troll hahah f----- you got trolled lololololololololloololo >>64603554 # : Anonymous 07/17/21(Sat)22:48:39 No.64603554 >>64603473 # tfw I got trolled by a w*man
: Anonymous 07/17/21(Sat)22:26:43 No.64603398 >be me >travel to europe for the summer >troll a school friend because shes gay >tell the school friend to kill herself >wait a few days 4 KB JPG >her mom calls to tell me she actually did it >mfw i heard the news >her mom says I was mentioned in the suicide note, but not in a good way >attached image again >go to sleep with the burden of thinking a human died because of you >wake up >check texts >read a text from the person you thought died >she said it was fake just to guilt trip me man 2 Replies / 1 Image View Thread : Anonymous 07/17/21(Sat)22:38:41 No.64603473 >>64603398 (OP) # >le epic troll hahah f----- you got trolled lololololololololloololo >>64603554 # : Anonymous 07/17/21(Sat)22:48:39 No.64603554 >>64603473 # tfw I got trolled by a w*man

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Anon has the munchies and the universe provides | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/20/21 (Mon)03:30:52 No.863445683 >eat edibles >get hungry >order Domino's >feel bad >l got a surprise free pizza >don't feel bad anymore 32 KB PNG we're gonna make it anons 1 Reply View Thread : Anonymous 09/20/21(Mon)04:07:05 No.863447125 I love you
: Anonymous 09/20/21 (Mon)03:30:52 No.863445683 >eat edibles >get hungry >order Domino's >feel bad >l got a surprise free pizza >don't feel bad anymore 32 KB PNG we're gonna make it anons 1 Reply View Thread : Anonymous 09/20/21(Mon)04:07:05 No.863447125 I love you

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Anon meets a hero | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 6 hours ago 434656828 >1 in the morning >GF at the time wanted to get food and rent a movie to fool around to before bed >Stop by a redbox at a walgreens near her place >Black guy dressed like f------ Peter Pan or something pulls up to us in his car by the redbox >Figure, "oh s--- here we go, going to have to fight some nog" >"Nah y'all don't need to be paying for that now, f--- a redbox my dude" >Hands us a Wal-Mart bag filled with about 40 burnt disks with recent movie titles on them >Backseat is full of these bags >Go to shake his hand and say "Jesus man, thanks. What's your name?" >"Who me? Y'all can just call me... N---- ROBIN HOOD!" >Dude peels out of the parking lot and speeds off into the night >GF and I confused as f--- >Go home, put in the disks >About half of the movies are HD rips of what the disks says they are, other half are actually just filled to the brim with new brazzers scenes Unironically the most based dude I've ever met 6 REPLIES
Anonymous 6 hours ago 434656828 >1 in the morning >GF at the time wanted to get food and rent a movie to fool around to before bed >Stop by a redbox at a walgreens near her place >Black guy dressed like f------ Peter Pan or something pulls up to us in his car by the redbox >Figure, "oh s--- here we go, going to have to fight some nog" >"Nah y'all don't need to be paying for that now, f--- a redbox my dude" >Hands us a Wal-Mart bag filled with about 40 burnt disks with recent movie titles on them >Backseat is full of these bags >Go to shake his hand and say "Jesus man, thanks. What's your name?" >"Who me? Y'all can just call me... N---- ROBIN HOOD!" >Dude peels out of the parking lot and speeds off into the night >GF and I confused as f--- >Go home, put in the disks >About half of the movies are HD rips of what the disks says they are, other half are actually just filled to the brim with new brazzers scenes Unironically the most based dude I've ever met 6 REPLIES

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Anon is losing gains | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/20/21(Mon)10:49:08 No.63583676 >be me >23 year old going to gym because i used to be a fat f--- >enrolled in uni >s---- so f----- hard cuz im retarded, so i cant exercise and spend all my time studying 20 KB PNG >losing gains >gaining weight >become fat f--- again >cant do anything about it because im f------ retarded Is there a way around this /fit/?
: Anonymous 09/20/21(Mon)10:49:08 No.63583676 >be me >23 year old going to gym because i used to be a fat f--- >enrolled in uni >s---- so f----- hard cuz im retarded, so i cant exercise and spend all my time studying 20 KB PNG >losing gains >gaining weight >become fat f--- again >cant do anything about it because im f------ retarded Is there a way around this /fit/?

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nukes are a lie | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: 194Kk50c ) [1 09/20/21(Mon)04:22:43 No.339992781 File: MV5BMTQ2NDg4MDA2MV5BMI5Ba(...).jpg (31 KB, 500x375) > world governments claiming they have nukes & that they're not afraid to use them
Anonymous (ID: 194Kk50c ) [1 09/20/21(Mon)04:22:43 No.339992781 File: MV5BMTQ2NDg4MDA2MV5BMI5Ba(...).jpg (31 KB, 500x375) > world governments claiming they have nukes & that they're not afraid to use them

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Anon is a bully | /r/Greentext


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Anon has a bad experience with a tampon | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/20/21(Mon)12:45:46 No.863465058 >Be me. Super horny middle school boy >Searching for a--- p---, found some where a girl used a toy on a guy's butthole. He had a massive orgasm >Brightidea.exe. I'll stick something up my butt and j-------. >But what to stick in my butt? 130 KB JPG >Improvise.exe I got one of my mom's tampons. I figured I could use the string that pull it out >Stick it up there. Fire up some p---. Start jacking off. I guess I clenched my butthole. The tampon shot way up into the dark recesses of my anus. panic.png >Try to find it. Spend a solid 30 minutes with my finger up my ass >Figure l'll s--- it out later. I must have shoved it deeper, then the tampon must have expanded. It formed some kind of awful plug. I did not s--- for days >After about 8-9 days the constipation is so bad that I can barely stand up >Parents take me to the emergency. They do an x-ray and see a blockage. The doctor asks what it is. I say that it's a tampon. He asks why I have a tampon up my ass. I explain that I thought it would feel good. >He tries to get it out with me lying on my side, while a nurse is pulling one knee up to my chest. No luck. >He has me get in the face down ass up position, tells me that the lube is making the tampon slippery, and rams three fingers up my ass, while the nurse holds me down. Pulls the tampon out, and I instantly take a massive disgusting s--- that fills an entire bedpan with week old turd. >My parents were in the room the whole time. >The orgasm was average
: Anonymous 09/20/21(Mon)12:45:46 No.863465058 >Be me. Super horny middle school boy >Searching for a--- p---, found some where a girl used a toy on a guy's butthole. He had a massive orgasm >Brightidea.exe. I'll stick something up my butt and j-------. >But what to stick in my butt? 130 KB JPG >Improvise.exe I got one of my mom's tampons. I figured I could use the string that pull it out >Stick it up there. Fire up some p---. Start jacking off. I guess I clenched my butthole. The tampon shot way up into the dark recesses of my anus. panic.png >Try to find it. Spend a solid 30 minutes with my finger up my ass >Figure l'll s--- it out later. I must have shoved it deeper, then the tampon must have expanded. It formed some kind of awful plug. I did not s--- for days >After about 8-9 days the constipation is so bad that I can barely stand up >Parents take me to the emergency. They do an x-ray and see a blockage. The doctor asks what it is. I say that it's a tampon. He asks why I have a tampon up my ass. I explain that I thought it would feel good. >He tries to get it out with me lying on my side, while a nurse is pulling one knee up to my chest. No luck. >He has me get in the face down ass up position, tells me that the lube is making the tampon slippery, and rams three fingers up my ass, while the nurse holds me down. Pulls the tampon out, and I instantly take a massive disgusting s--- that fills an entire bedpan with week old turd. >My parents were in the room the whole time. >The orgasm was average

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Anon takes a shower | /r/Greentext

Intstant regret thread >be me >in shower >get idea >take movable showehead >unscrew the head, and have nozzle spraying water like cannon 64 KB JPG >put nozzle up to a------ >feels good man .jpg >get out of shower Gottashit.spook >on the pot >feel water in a------ What >ass spewing like volcano >goes on for like 20 minutes Dont be like me kids
Intstant regret thread >be me >in shower >get idea >take movable showehead >unscrew the head, and have nozzle spraying water like cannon 64 KB JPG >put nozzle up to a------ >feels good man .jpg >get out of shower Gottashit.spook >on the pot >feel water in a------ What >ass spewing like volcano >goes on for like 20 minutes Dont be like me kids

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anon is a bad servant | /r/Greentext

>be me >three years old >dad asks me to put salt on his chicken >I say ok >l grab salt shaker >while pouring salt the lid falls off 50 KB JPG >start crying because I failed my task >rubbing my eyes with salt covered hands >it burns >dad yells at me >scream and run and fall and land on my head >die >mfw
>be me >three years old >dad asks me to put salt on his chicken >I say ok >l grab salt shaker >while pouring salt the lid falls off 50 KB JPG >start crying because I failed my task >rubbing my eyes with salt covered hands >it burns >dad yells at me >scream and run and fall and land on my head >die >mfw

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Anon is afraid | /r/Greentext


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Cat saves anons household | /r/Greentext

File: Cat and dog png (167 KB, 296x300) Anonymous (ID: w7ikIM6K ) 08/06/14(Wed)13:25:02 No.560918306 >Be living with myself and my two pets, a cat and a dog >Dog barks at everything and cat never gives a f--- about anything or anyone >Be asleep >Hear my dog barking >notagain.jpeg >He shuts up after 30 seconds >I try to fall asleep again >After two minutes my dog start barking again like crazy >l go down to tell him to shut up >When I get down there is a freaking burglar on the bookshelf >Ski mask and all >On the floor lies a gun >Beneath bookshelf is my dog barking and jumping up after him >On the couch sits my cat looking like he found my tuna stash >l call the police >They arrest the guy >I give my dog a sausage for being a good guard dog >A couple of days later a guy calls from the station >During the interrogation the burglar admitted that he broke into my house, kicked my cat and lured my dog into a closet >My dog jumped him two minutes later >The burglar didn't know my dog can open doors >He can't >My cat being "f--- everyone else"-king of the house can though >Taught himself so he can come and go as he please >My cat must had become p----- and released my dog so he could attack the burglar >MFW my cat is a d--- >MFW I added animal cruelty to the charges
File: Cat and dog png (167 KB, 296x300) Anonymous (ID: w7ikIM6K ) 08/06/14(Wed)13:25:02 No.560918306 >Be living with myself and my two pets, a cat and a dog >Dog barks at everything and cat never gives a f--- about anything or anyone >Be asleep >Hear my dog barking >notagain.jpeg >He shuts up after 30 seconds >I try to fall asleep again >After two minutes my dog start barking again like crazy >l go down to tell him to shut up >When I get down there is a freaking burglar on the bookshelf >Ski mask and all >On the floor lies a gun >Beneath bookshelf is my dog barking and jumping up after him >On the couch sits my cat looking like he found my tuna stash >l call the police >They arrest the guy >I give my dog a sausage for being a good guard dog >A couple of days later a guy calls from the station >During the interrogation the burglar admitted that he broke into my house, kicked my cat and lured my dog into a closet >My dog jumped him two minutes later >The burglar didn't know my dog can open doors >He can't >My cat being "f--- everyone else"-king of the house can though >Taught himself so he can come and go as he please >My cat must had become p----- and released my dog so he could attack the burglar >MFW my cat is a d--- >MFW I added animal cruelty to the charges

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