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Femanon is in a major need of help | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous /BF/ 49 KB JPG 04/19/21 (Mon)13:33:01 No.852440529 I've never done one of these so don't get mad if I mess something up please neets >be me >18 year old girl (not posting t--- and not gtfo'ing) >prefers hanging out with boys but not enough to become a tomboy out of fear of dad thinking I'm a weirdo what do I do >hang out with boys because they are cooler >hang out with 1 boy more so than the other boys >develop feelings for him >he thinks I like him, which I do, so he asks me out and I say no out of fear of messing something up >he asks me why I hang out with him if I don't wanna date him >lie that I'm a lesbian for whatever f------ reason >he believes me >he starts looking at other girls >anger and jealously.jpg >feel like s--- >too scared to tell him that I actually lied to him
: Anonymous /BF/ 49 KB JPG 04/19/21 (Mon)13:33:01 No.852440529 I've never done one of these so don't get mad if I mess something up please neets >be me >18 year old girl (not posting t--- and not gtfo'ing) >prefers hanging out with boys but not enough to become a tomboy out of fear of dad thinking I'm a weirdo what do I do >hang out with boys because they are cooler >hang out with 1 boy more so than the other boys >develop feelings for him >he thinks I like him, which I do, so he asks me out and I say no out of fear of messing something up >he asks me why I hang out with him if I don't wanna date him >lie that I'm a lesbian for whatever f------ reason >he believes me >he starts looking at other girls >anger and jealously.jpg >feel like s--- >too scared to tell him that I actually lied to him

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Anon whered you go | /r/Greentext

SNICKERS SNICKER ASNIGKERS SNICKERS SNIGKERS SNICKENS SNIGKEND, DIUNCIES MILK CILAT PERUT CARL SNIGRENS LE CHEERLATE PE MEX CHOCOLATS PLUS CA SNICKERS SNIGKERS SNIUKENJ SWIGKERS SNIUNEND SNICKER SNICKERS. ARE CHOCOLATE PERMITE CANANC Cucrand MAUM Cont ATERCAM BRENT TOI MLADIDESLATE PERRUTSEMARA ME TRAILE tratty YOUR OPERSITVEDAMIDA YUSZY LE ENCRATEPLASAR TULEE LEGE PASCA SNICKERS CandyWarehouse 127952-03_snickers-candy-bars-48-piece-box.jpg 118 KB JPG >eat a display case of snickers i bought from costco >fingers and toes hurt like hell >hands won't stop shaking >entire body feels cold
SNICKERS SNICKER ASNIGKERS SNICKERS SNIGKERS SNICKENS SNIGKEND, DIUNCIES MILK CILAT PERUT CARL SNIGRENS LE CHEERLATE PE MEX CHOCOLATS PLUS CA SNICKERS SNIGKERS SNIUKENJ SWIGKERS SNIUNEND SNICKER SNICKERS. ARE CHOCOLATE PERMITE CANANC Cucrand MAUM Cont ATERCAM BRENT TOI MLADIDESLATE PERRUTSEMARA ME TRAILE tratty YOUR OPERSITVEDAMIDA YUSZY LE ENCRATEPLASAR TULEE LEGE PASCA SNICKERS CandyWarehouse 127952-03_snickers-candy-bars-48-piece-box.jpg 118 KB JPG >eat a display case of snickers i bought from costco >fingers and toes hurt like hell >hands won't stop shaking >entire body feels cold

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anon is down atrocious | /r/Greentext

Anonymous @pep 59 KB JPG 10/27/20(Tue)16:59:14 No.838753945 Octopuses do not have any bones with the exception of their beaks. So if you are responsible and depraved enough to be literally the life support of your 8 limbed friend, you can debeak it like how you'd declaw a cat and then push your member into its feed chute. You can then let it subsist on your baby batter. The Octopus is smart. Very smart. It will learn that without its beak, it cannot feed on anything else but your human seed that has to be milked from you. Every morning, you will feel your clothes slide off and a damp weight on your lower half. The sensation creeps up on your body until most of the jiggly mass has enveloped the entire length. It will start pumping as fast as it can for it is hungry. Comment too long. Click here to view the full text. 3 Replies / 1 Image : Anonymous >>838753945 (OP) # It's octopi View Thread 10/27/20(Tue)17:00:02 No.838754004
Anonymous @pep 59 KB JPG 10/27/20(Tue)16:59:14 No.838753945 Octopuses do not have any bones with the exception of their beaks. So if you are responsible and depraved enough to be literally the life support of your 8 limbed friend, you can debeak it like how you'd declaw a cat and then push your member into its feed chute. You can then let it subsist on your baby batter. The Octopus is smart. Very smart. It will learn that without its beak, it cannot feed on anything else but your human seed that has to be milked from you. Every morning, you will feel your clothes slide off and a damp weight on your lower half. The sensation creeps up on your body until most of the jiggly mass has enveloped the entire length. It will start pumping as fast as it can for it is hungry. Comment too long. Click here to view the full text. 3 Replies / 1 Image : Anonymous >>838753945 (OP) # It's octopi View Thread 10/27/20(Tue)17:00:02 No.838754004

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Anon gets along with his roommate... | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 178 KB JPG 05/18/21(Tue) 20:34:23 No.854751781 >be me >roommate is a 7/10 female- type >she's clean >she's quiet >she's chill >she brought furniture >find out we have the same taste in music >we start hanging out a bunch >start smoking together >first girl I've been really close to in a while >first person I've been really close to in a while >her lease is up >tell her should renew >tell her she's a good roommate >a bit embarrassing >being vulnerable always is >but you gotta tell your friends they matter to you "I'm not gonna lie, anon, I've gotta get out of here. Listening to the sounds you jerking off over the last few months has been traumatising."
: Anonymous 178 KB JPG 05/18/21(Tue) 20:34:23 No.854751781 >be me >roommate is a 7/10 female- type >she's clean >she's quiet >she's chill >she brought furniture >find out we have the same taste in music >we start hanging out a bunch >start smoking together >first girl I've been really close to in a while >first person I've been really close to in a while >her lease is up >tell her should renew >tell her she's a good roommate >a bit embarrassing >being vulnerable always is >but you gotta tell your friends they matter to you "I'm not gonna lie, anon, I've gotta get out of here. Listening to the sounds you jerking off over the last few months has been traumatising."

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Anon too average. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 78 KB JPG 05/22/21(Sat)04:51:45 No.855021956 >be me >stuck in purgatory >too ugly to be a chad >too attractive to be an incel >too out of shape to be a chad >too fit to be an incel >too weird to be a chad >not weird enough to be an incel >the stuff I'm interested in is too weird for chads to understand >the stuff I'm interested in is too alpha for incels to understand >I am forever stuck in limbo.
Anonymous 78 KB JPG 05/22/21(Sat)04:51:45 No.855021956 >be me >stuck in purgatory >too ugly to be a chad >too attractive to be an incel >too out of shape to be a chad >too fit to be an incel >too weird to be a chad >not weird enough to be an incel >the stuff I'm interested in is too weird for chads to understand >the stuff I'm interested in is too alpha for incels to understand >I am forever stuck in limbo.

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Anon realizes that starlight is wrong | /r/Greentext

Anonymous name a more worthless bitch 269 KB JPG 07/11/22(Mon)22:49:55 No.170919821 >UGH homelander you're akshully Soooo WEAK >fine UGH go ahead and destroy the world, at least I'll have my head held high knowing I told you the truth about how WEAK you are >huey if we take homelander down, we HAVE to do it the right way, we CAN'T let innocent people die >*goes live on Instagram* >HI GUUUUIIIISSSSEEEE SOO000 guess what? homelander is like a totally toxic male who's threatened to kill all of you if I tell you that he's a totally toxic male that's threatened to kill all of you OOOOPSIEEE #freeMaeve >W-- SOLDIER BOY YOU'RE SO HECKING TOXIC >OMG EVERYBODY STOP HIM RIGHT NOW WE CAN'T LET A HECKING TOXIC MALE STOP HOMELANDER >WHEN HE CALLED HOMELANDER A WEAK P---- THAT'S TOXIC IT'S DIFFERENT FROM WHEN I DID IT OMGGGGG HUEY STOP HIMMMMMM
Anonymous name a more worthless bitch 269 KB JPG 07/11/22(Mon)22:49:55 No.170919821 >UGH homelander you're akshully Soooo WEAK >fine UGH go ahead and destroy the world, at least I'll have my head held high knowing I told you the truth about how WEAK you are >huey if we take homelander down, we HAVE to do it the right way, we CAN'T let innocent people die >*goes live on Instagram* >HI GUUUUIIIISSSSEEEE SOO000 guess what? homelander is like a totally toxic male who's threatened to kill all of you if I tell you that he's a totally toxic male that's threatened to kill all of you OOOOPSIEEE #freeMaeve >W-- SOLDIER BOY YOU'RE SO HECKING TOXIC >OMG EVERYBODY STOP HIM RIGHT NOW WE CAN'T LET A HECKING TOXIC MALE STOP HOMELANDER >WHEN HE CALLED HOMELANDER A WEAK P---- THAT'S TOXIC IT'S DIFFERENT FROM WHEN I DID IT OMGGGGG HUEY STOP HIMMMMMM

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Anon isn't a fan of women pilots | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous ww 07/11/22(Mon)15:19:56 No.881846018 Shaniquapiloty.jpg 35 KB JPG >>881844308 (OP) # >walk on plane >see a female pilot Go ahead and tell me you'd have a relaxing flight, I dare you.
: Anonymous ww 07/11/22(Mon)15:19:56 No.881846018 Shaniquapiloty.jpg 35 KB JPG >>881844308 (OP) # >walk on plane >see a female pilot Go ahead and tell me you'd have a relaxing flight, I dare you.

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Anon gets banned form Walmart | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/10/22(Sun)09:16:49 No.69358173 >got banned from shopping at the Walmart in my town because I talked to an employee too many times and eventually offered her a foot rub 19 KB JPG F------ hell. I thought she liked me but she was just being nice. Then she reported me to the manager
: Anonymous 07/10/22(Sun)09:16:49 No.69358173 >got banned from shopping at the Walmart in my town because I talked to an employee too many times and eventually offered her a foot rub 19 KB JPG F------ hell. I thought she liked me but she was just being nice. Then she reported me to the manager

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Anon does a race | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/12/19(Fri) 15:18:33 No.804456869 2 KB JPG >be me >yesterday >doing race to see if I could beat a record >some of the "runners" are in wheelchairs and only have to do 5 laps instead of 10 since it takes them so much longer >while running one of the wheely bois falls out of his chair and onto my path >two other runners stop to help him up and I didn't know weather to stop or keep running >in the end I kept running and jumped over his wheelchair and in a calm voice said "my condolences" >got a few boos but the guy in the wheelchair laughed >mfw I got 2nd
: Anonymous 07/12/19(Fri) 15:18:33 No.804456869 2 KB JPG >be me >yesterday >doing race to see if I could beat a record >some of the "runners" are in wheelchairs and only have to do 5 laps instead of 10 since it takes them so much longer >while running one of the wheely bois falls out of his chair and onto my path >two other runners stop to help him up and I didn't know weather to stop or keep running >in the end I kept running and jumped over his wheelchair and in a calm voice said "my condolences" >got a few boos but the guy in the wheelchair laughed >mfw I got 2nd

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Memers taking over corporates | /r/Greentext

Anonymous | 775720450 704.8 kB JPG 1 min ago >be me >dispatch manager for a small company >bunch of 18 year olds start working in the shipping dept >start using the most current memes, yet, ligma etc, just general s--- from 4chan/reddit to see if they get it >kids get really into it >everything is a meme to them >boss walks into the dispatch room just as I chuck some packing tape to one the kids screaming yeet as I do it >boss takes one look at me and says "looks like you've got a case of updog" >one of the kids replies "what's up dog?" >MFW my boss is the biggest memer in the office
Anonymous | 775720450 704.8 kB JPG 1 min ago >be me >dispatch manager for a small company >bunch of 18 year olds start working in the shipping dept >start using the most current memes, yet, ligma etc, just general s--- from 4chan/reddit to see if they get it >kids get really into it >everything is a meme to them >boss walks into the dispatch room just as I chuck some packing tape to one the kids screaming yeet as I do it >boss takes one look at me and says "looks like you've got a case of updog" >one of the kids replies "what's up dog?" >MFW my boss is the biggest memer in the office

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Anon is feeling down | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 95 KB JPG 29 Replies / 2 Images Anonymous >>881868468 (OP) # ор >881870339 # I had a s--- day plz cheer me up :( : Anonymous >>881870282 # yes? >>881870415 # 07/11/22(Mon)22:46:58 No.881868468 : Anonymous >>881870339 # kill yourself View Thread 07/11/22 (Mon)23:23:50 No.881870282 07/11/22(Mon)23:24:57 No.881870339 07/11/22(Mon)23:26:25 No.881870415
Anonymous 95 KB JPG 29 Replies / 2 Images Anonymous >>881868468 (OP) # ор >881870339 # I had a s--- day plz cheer me up :( : Anonymous >>881870282 # yes? >>881870415 # 07/11/22(Mon)22:46:58 No.881868468 : Anonymous >>881870339 # kill yourself View Thread 07/11/22 (Mon)23:23:50 No.881870282 07/11/22(Mon)23:24:57 No.881870339 07/11/22(Mon)23:26:25 No.881870415

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Identity theft | /r/Greentext

File: tumblr_oc52ms290D1vp7u9806_1280.jpg (118 KB, 430x763) ■ /lgbt/ Anonymous 07/11/22(Mon)13:30:35 No.26702203 [Reply] >mention to girl im close friends with that i want to try crossdressing (actually repper) >she is ridiculously supportive and asks for pics >do it and send to her >she is really encouraging even though I look terrible >later she asks for more risqué crossdresssing pics and I oblige >turns out she's been using my pics to catfish men for months >she just leads them on and asks them to describe what they'd do to her (me) >she has saved dozens of messages from tons of guys of how they would f--- me What level of aap is this Also what the F---
File: tumblr_oc52ms290D1vp7u9806_1280.jpg (118 KB, 430x763) ■ /lgbt/ Anonymous 07/11/22(Mon)13:30:35 No.26702203 [Reply] >mention to girl im close friends with that i want to try crossdressing (actually repper) >she is ridiculously supportive and asks for pics >do it and send to her >she is really encouraging even though I look terrible >later she asks for more risqué crossdresssing pics and I oblige >turns out she's been using my pics to catfish men for months >she just leads them on and asks them to describe what they'd do to her (me) >she has saved dozens of messages from tons of guys of how they would f--- me What level of aap is this Also what the F---

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Anon fails Allah | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 140 KB PNG 07/12/22(Tue)15:48:10 No.881885931 >be arab >living in the most misogynist society possible >if I go to the west I can buy a slave gf in Libya >if I go to the north I can clap some white caucasus ass cheeks >if I go to the east I can have a north-east asian house maid gf >if I go to the south I can ride on a boat with a goth pirate Somalian gf >tfw no gf Allah put me in the easiest place to have a gf and I still failed him
: Anonymous 140 KB PNG 07/12/22(Tue)15:48:10 No.881885931 >be arab >living in the most misogynist society possible >if I go to the west I can buy a slave gf in Libya >if I go to the north I can clap some white caucasus ass cheeks >if I go to the east I can have a north-east asian house maid gf >if I go to the south I can ride on a boat with a goth pirate Somalian gf >tfw no gf Allah put me in the easiest place to have a gf and I still failed him

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Anon is lonely | /r/Greentext

>Girlfriend of 4 years leaves me last week >She moved out while I was at work 13 KB JPG >Went into computer room >Her desk is completely empty >I sit down and browse the internet for a bit >Looking at random funny videos >Hours pass >Find one funny video I can't stop laughing at >"Hey you have to see th-" >Turn to see an empty desk beside mine I thought she was still here.
>Girlfriend of 4 years leaves me last week >She moved out while I was at work 13 KB JPG >Went into computer room >Her desk is completely empty >I sit down and browse the internet for a bit >Looking at random funny videos >Hours pass >Find one funny video I can't stop laughing at >"Hey you have to see th-" >Turn to see an empty desk beside mine I thought she was still here.

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anon asks a question | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 394 KB JPG : Anonymous >>881872406 (OP) # you are a tard-igrade >>881872930 # 07/12/22(Tue)00:10:28 No.881872406 Favorite micro-species and why? Mines the Tartigrade cause he looks like a cool little guy 07/12/22(Tue)00:11:16 No.881872431 07/12/22(Tue)00:20:37 No.881872930 : Anonymous >>881872431 # Answer my question n-----
: Anonymous 394 KB JPG : Anonymous >>881872406 (OP) # you are a tard-igrade >>881872930 # 07/12/22(Tue)00:10:28 No.881872406 Favorite micro-species and why? Mines the Tartigrade cause he looks like a cool little guy 07/12/22(Tue)00:11:16 No.881872431 07/12/22(Tue)00:20:37 No.881872930 : Anonymous >>881872431 # Answer my question n-----

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Anon gets Pitied | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 56 KB JPG >female co-worker asks me how my weekend was >tell her I was in the psychiatric ward of the hospital because I was suicidal >she sympathizes with me >after work she messages me asking me to come to her house to watch a movie or just talk is this a date.jpeg >her bf is there 07/12/22(Tue)18:23:38 No.69380822 >she and her bf just take pity on me the whole time >i go home >she messages again saying shes here for me if i need anything god damn it bros... not like this
Anonymous 56 KB JPG >female co-worker asks me how my weekend was >tell her I was in the psychiatric ward of the hospital because I was suicidal >she sympathizes with me >after work she messages me asking me to come to her house to watch a movie or just talk is this a date.jpeg >her bf is there 07/12/22(Tue)18:23:38 No.69380822 >she and her bf just take pity on me the whole time >i go home >she messages again saying shes here for me if i need anything god damn it bros... not like this

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Anon might be loosing it | /r/Greentext

1h (7/11 1:38) 26871183 1 Re 0 Img GIF 2MB (250x250) 1 Reply I'm going f------ insane Like proper f------ insane, holy f---. I am genuinely losing it and I might do something very stupid soon. 1h (7/11 2:03) 26871292 >>26871183 (OP) Well thanks for providing no detail at all so no one can actually help or remotely even understand the situation.
1h (7/11 1:38) 26871183 1 Re 0 Img GIF 2MB (250x250) 1 Reply I'm going f------ insane Like proper f------ insane, holy f---. I am genuinely losing it and I might do something very stupid soon. 1h (7/11 2:03) 26871292 >>26871183 (OP) Well thanks for providing no detail at all so no one can actually help or remotely even understand the situation.

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Anons stuck in a loop | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 518 KB PNG 07/11/22(Mon)14:50:56 No.18094027 >Decide to just wing it in the kitchen. >I have a few oz of top sirloin, a few mushrooms, a couple shallots, cream, assorted herbs. >Sear and dice the steak. >Saute the mushrooms and shallot. >Deglaze with brandy. >Add cream and reduce by half. >Return the steak to the sauce with some chopped tarragon and chives. >Serve over fettucine. >Realize I ended up just making beef stroganoff.
: Anonymous 518 KB PNG 07/11/22(Mon)14:50:56 No.18094027 >Decide to just wing it in the kitchen. >I have a few oz of top sirloin, a few mushrooms, a couple shallots, cream, assorted herbs. >Sear and dice the steak. >Saute the mushrooms and shallot. >Deglaze with brandy. >Add cream and reduce by half. >Return the steak to the sauce with some chopped tarragon and chives. >Serve over fettucine. >Realize I ended up just making beef stroganoff.

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Anon thinks with his pp | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10 KB JPG 07/11/22(Mon)22:21:04 No.881875658 >be horny >go on doublelist >find post for girl looking to suck d--- >think with pp >send her a fully nude body shot with face >she asks for more and wants to know my name >send her more and tell her my name >she then blackmails me >threatens to send pictures of me to all my family members on facebook >jokes on her >I don't have Facebook >she doesn't know >I act scared and tell her to tell me where to send the money >she gives me her cashapp >I report it to the authorities and tell her I need a few days to gather the money >they continue to threaten me by sending my photos of my linked in account >not too long after, they get caught >get call from detective >turns out it's some 23 year old dude from California >I agree to testify in court >I am also sueing him for 100k for post traumatic stress and blackmailing >would share pics of chat but was advised not too as it can effect the case >going to have to await guilty charge until I can go ahead with sueing >this f----- is toast >I'm still horny
: Anonymous 10 KB JPG 07/11/22(Mon)22:21:04 No.881875658 >be horny >go on doublelist >find post for girl looking to suck d--- >think with pp >send her a fully nude body shot with face >she asks for more and wants to know my name >send her more and tell her my name >she then blackmails me >threatens to send pictures of me to all my family members on facebook >jokes on her >I don't have Facebook >she doesn't know >I act scared and tell her to tell me where to send the money >she gives me her cashapp >I report it to the authorities and tell her I need a few days to gather the money >they continue to threaten me by sending my photos of my linked in account >not too long after, they get caught >get call from detective >turns out it's some 23 year old dude from California >I agree to testify in court >I am also sueing him for 100k for post traumatic stress and blackmailing >would share pics of chat but was advised not too as it can effect the case >going to have to await guilty charge until I can go ahead with sueing >this f----- is toast >I'm still horny

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Anon is a redditor | /r/Greentext

Anonymous F----- IAM 348 KB JPG 07/11/22(Mon)23:34:57 No.881852592 >be me >I'm a reddit user >I think I can post whatever I want without consequences >I like the story, I make a post in r/historymemes about the Falklands being British and not Argentine >I put "cry all you want little Argentine, that will not make the Falklands come back" >An Argentine was offended and reported my account for a message that incites hatred >I log in the next morning and see that my account was permanently suspended >F--- If you're that Argentinian who reported the post on reddit, go f--- yourself View Thread
Anonymous F----- IAM 348 KB JPG 07/11/22(Mon)23:34:57 No.881852592 >be me >I'm a reddit user >I think I can post whatever I want without consequences >I like the story, I make a post in r/historymemes about the Falklands being British and not Argentine >I put "cry all you want little Argentine, that will not make the Falklands come back" >An Argentine was offended and reported my account for a message that incites hatred >I log in the next morning and see that my account was permanently suspended >F--- If you're that Argentinian who reported the post on reddit, go f--- yourself View Thread

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