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sad, autistic anon | /r/Greentext


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Anon is an optimist | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 82 KB JPG 08/15/19(Thu)20:11:48 No.53925486 >Walk up to boss >"Hey anything we gotta do around here?" >"Yeah we gotta do all the drum brakes on the trailers but some of the bolts broke off so you'll have to melt em off with the cutting torch." >Pretend he is an NPC giving me a quest >Money is my EXP >Each pay period is a level up >level 208 right now keep grinding out the levels friends
: Anonymous 82 KB JPG 08/15/19(Thu)20:11:48 No.53925486 >Walk up to boss >"Hey anything we gotta do around here?" >"Yeah we gotta do all the drum brakes on the trailers but some of the bolts broke off so you'll have to melt em off with the cutting torch." >Pretend he is an NPC giving me a quest >Money is my EXP >Each pay period is a level up >level 208 right now keep grinding out the levels friends

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anon is "based" and "redpilled" | /r/Greentext

File: 1612165401743s.jpg (2 KB, 125x122) O Anonymous (ID: N2qh6rqn) 08/03/22(Wed)22:47:56 No.50722776 ► >>50722849 >be me >go to package room to get a package of mine >see a girl struggling to carry out a large package, which looks like furniture >if it was the year 2011, i would have gladly helped, expecting nothing in return >but its the year 2022 >therefore, not my f------ problem
File: 1612165401743s.jpg (2 KB, 125x122) O Anonymous (ID: N2qh6rqn) 08/03/22(Wed)22:47:56 No.50722776 ► >>50722849 >be me >go to package room to get a package of mine >see a girl struggling to carry out a large package, which looks like furniture >if it was the year 2011, i would have gladly helped, expecting nothing in return >but its the year 2022 >therefore, not my f------ problem

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anon brings a knife to a gun fight | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 914 KB JPG : Anonymous 7 KB JPG 07/16/22(Sat)00:00:02 No.69424627 >makes strength and size irrelevant 07/16/22(Sat)00:01:56 No.69424652 >makes your knife irrelevant
Anonymous 914 KB JPG : Anonymous 7 KB JPG 07/16/22(Sat)00:00:02 No.69424627 >makes strength and size irrelevant 07/16/22(Sat)00:01:56 No.69424652 >makes your knife irrelevant

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Sympathy for the Devil. | /r/Greentext

>Be me, Japan >Enslave women to become sex slaves >Massacre 14m innocent POWS >Attack Pearl Harbor despite US being neutral >Commit many more war crimes >Get nuked >Everyone forgets about my war crimes >Don't get punished >Sympathy from everyone
>Be me, Japan >Enslave women to become sex slaves >Massacre 14m innocent POWS >Attack Pearl Harbor despite US being neutral >Commit many more war crimes >Get nuked >Everyone forgets about my war crimes >Don't get punished >Sympathy from everyone

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its over for anon | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 42 KB JPG : Anonymous >>69665969 (OP) # Imao bro >Be me >5'9 >Over before it began >People wonder why I hate women : Anonymous 08/03/22(Wed) 20:19:36 No.69665969 you like totally forgot to add "bottom text" but here's your upvote 17 KB JPG : Anonymous 08/03/22(Wed) 20:22:43 No.69665992 I'm 5' on the dot and I can still pull tail. The fact that you blame it all on your height probably means you have the personality of a fence post. 08/03/22(Wed) 20:20:50 No.69665977 shiet 08/03/22 (Wed) 20:23:57 No.69665998 >>69665969 (OP) # > Be me > 5'10 > Get poon all my teens but it stops as soon as I hit 20
: Anonymous 42 KB JPG : Anonymous >>69665969 (OP) # Imao bro >Be me >5'9 >Over before it began >People wonder why I hate women : Anonymous 08/03/22(Wed) 20:19:36 No.69665969 you like totally forgot to add "bottom text" but here's your upvote 17 KB JPG : Anonymous 08/03/22(Wed) 20:22:43 No.69665992 I'm 5' on the dot and I can still pull tail. The fact that you blame it all on your height probably means you have the personality of a fence post. 08/03/22(Wed) 20:20:50 No.69665977 shiet 08/03/22 (Wed) 20:23:57 No.69665998 >>69665969 (OP) # > Be me > 5'10 > Get poon all my teens but it stops as soon as I hit 20

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A true sigma male | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 176 KB JPG 08/04/22(Thu)01:31:22 No.69670456 I have some unfortunate news.... >Be at uncle's house >Tells me that my Great Grandfather was a war criminal >Tells me he was a legendary Scottish hardman called "BIG JOCK" >Tells me that during the Pacific war and Korean war my Great gramps was in a "BUMMING" squad >The BUMMING squads were well-endowed Brit men from all over the UK >They were trained rapists that would beat and sodomise their enemies into submission >They would force their victims (called BUM BOYS) to crossdress, shave and wear makeup >He said that BIG JOCK has such a big c--- he was nicknamed the "CLAYMORE" by English officers >Said they had to use a special lube called "willy wax" so he wouldn't kill his victims with his huge rod >Said my Great gramps f----- even the toughest J-- warriors and Chinese communists into submission >Their victims were considered to be BUMMED and lived in shame >The BUM BOYS that enjoyed it were nicknamed "SUSIES" (Scottish slang for an effeminate/gay man) >BIG JOCK lead an elite BUMMING Squad called the GUVNAHS Anyone else have crazy ancestors?
: Anonymous 176 KB JPG 08/04/22(Thu)01:31:22 No.69670456 I have some unfortunate news.... >Be at uncle's house >Tells me that my Great Grandfather was a war criminal >Tells me he was a legendary Scottish hardman called "BIG JOCK" >Tells me that during the Pacific war and Korean war my Great gramps was in a "BUMMING" squad >The BUMMING squads were well-endowed Brit men from all over the UK >They were trained rapists that would beat and sodomise their enemies into submission >They would force their victims (called BUM BOYS) to crossdress, shave and wear makeup >He said that BIG JOCK has such a big c--- he was nicknamed the "CLAYMORE" by English officers >Said they had to use a special lube called "willy wax" so he wouldn't kill his victims with his huge rod >Said my Great gramps f----- even the toughest J-- warriors and Chinese communists into submission >Their victims were considered to be BUMMED and lived in shame >The BUM BOYS that enjoyed it were nicknamed "SUSIES" (Scottish slang for an effeminate/gay man) >BIG JOCK lead an elite BUMMING Squad called the GUVNAHS Anyone else have crazy ancestors?

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Absorbant and yellow and porous is Anon | /r/Greentext

>Be me in army >mandatory in my s----- country >first time we noob soldiers fire our guns >we lay in the ground and get ready >drill instructor yells "are you ready?" >i yell back "ai ai captain" >random guy two rows away yells " i cant hear you" >drill instructor mad and tries to find out who mocked him >i yell again "00000000" >random guy shots a rock 10 meters in front of him from laughter (the target was 300 meter away) >dust rises up and one general runs and screams at drill instructor 108 KB JPG >we march back to camp 10 kilometers instead of driving >i am attending the "i cant hear you" guy wedding next week
>Be me in army >mandatory in my s----- country >first time we noob soldiers fire our guns >we lay in the ground and get ready >drill instructor yells "are you ready?" >i yell back "ai ai captain" >random guy two rows away yells " i cant hear you" >drill instructor mad and tries to find out who mocked him >i yell again "00000000" >random guy shots a rock 10 meters in front of him from laughter (the target was 300 meter away) >dust rises up and one general runs and screams at drill instructor 108 KB JPG >we march back to camp 10 kilometers instead of driving >i am attending the "i cant hear you" guy wedding next week

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Anon Got Played | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 42 KB JPG 09/29/21 (Wed) 20:59:51 No.864076330 > one chance at life parents name me Fiddler View Thread
: Anonymous 42 KB JPG 09/29/21 (Wed) 20:59:51 No.864076330 > one chance at life parents name me Fiddler View Thread

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Anon meets Tom Cruise | /r/Greentext

img0465.jpg 248 KB JPG >>81355768 (OP) # sometimes i mast rbate in bushes in a public park. one day i notice a person behing me. it was tom cruise. all he said was "proceed". i felt uncomfortable and took a picture and left.
img0465.jpg 248 KB JPG >>81355768 (OP) # sometimes i mast rbate in bushes in a public park. one day i notice a person behing me. it was tom cruise. all he said was "proceed". i felt uncomfortable and took a picture and left.

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No More Fatties - Anon Ends Obesity | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/03/22(Wed)17:40:02 No.883234526 EFOFD359-C771-4369-8241-E906006DBEFC.jpg 112 KB JPG >Fat people are disgusting >They will keep eating and getting fat, even though they know it will kill then >It's common to see people who are 300-400 pounds >They cost the healthcare system millions >They can get disability income for being fat >They refuse to diet and exercise >They are disgusting and selfish I have a solution >In the 19th century England would sentence prisoners to the treadmill >It was a giant wheel with steps. Prisoners endlessly climbed the steps for hours and hours, sometimes for years >What if every obese person was given 1 year to get fit. >If they don't get fit or if they get fat again, they are sentenced to the treadmill. No exceptions. >Attach the treadmills to a generator. The fatties lose weight and generate energy >This is the ultimate source of renewable energy and solves the obesity problem I call it Run Fatty Run
: Anonymous 08/03/22(Wed)17:40:02 No.883234526 EFOFD359-C771-4369-8241-E906006DBEFC.jpg 112 KB JPG >Fat people are disgusting >They will keep eating and getting fat, even though they know it will kill then >It's common to see people who are 300-400 pounds >They cost the healthcare system millions >They can get disability income for being fat >They refuse to diet and exercise >They are disgusting and selfish I have a solution >In the 19th century England would sentence prisoners to the treadmill >It was a giant wheel with steps. Prisoners endlessly climbed the steps for hours and hours, sometimes for years >What if every obese person was given 1 year to get fit. >If they don't get fit or if they get fat again, they are sentenced to the treadmill. No exceptions. >Attach the treadmills to a generator. The fatties lose weight and generate energy >This is the ultimate source of renewable energy and solves the obesity problem I call it Run Fatty Run

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sad greentext | /r/Greentext

08/03/22(Wed)11:34:42 No.27029734 My step dad has been chain smoking and drinking beer since he was 13. Hes in his 50s now and has about 5 teeth left which are rotten and he'll be having them removed and getting dentures. He has a mancave in the garage that hes had setup for 20 years complete with a desk, chairs, a fridge with a tv on top and he literally just sits out there alone, does cross words, watches sports, drinks and chain smokes. On the weekends he'll have some buddies over for beers but thats the extent of his social interactions. He drinks every single day and smokes 2 packs a day, no exaggerations. On the weekends my mom has to stay up late because he will pass out drunk and high in his chair in the garage with the doors open and my mom has to wake him up and tell him to come to bed. I haven't lived there on years but when I did live there when I was young he would fall asleep sitting up on the couch with his head tilted back. What compels a man to do this to himself? It's such a sad display to see. It's funny because despite all this he's been able to hold a respectable government job that pays damn well for 20+ years and he'll be able to retire very soon, but my mom told me once he retires then every night will be a weekend night for him, meaning he'll be getting so black out drink every night. He's already had a heart attack and had to have some heart surgery but he keeps drinking and smoking like there's no tomorrow. He's going to die and leave my mom alone for probably 20+ years. It's so sad to see someone abuse themselves like that. He just has absolutely zero desire to cut back on anything, he just loves getting f----- up. : Anonymous 214 KB JPG 08/03/22(Wed)11:36:44 No.27029743 : Anonymous >>27029734 (OP) # >he literally just sits out there alone, does cross words, watches sports, drinks and chain smokes how can one man be so based? 08/03/22(Wed)11:51:03 No.27029792 : Anonymous >>27029734 (OP) # Hey son. Stop posting about me and go to bed. But bring me a beer before you do
08/03/22(Wed)11:34:42 No.27029734 My step dad has been chain smoking and drinking beer since he was 13. Hes in his 50s now and has about 5 teeth left which are rotten and he'll be having them removed and getting dentures. He has a mancave in the garage that hes had setup for 20 years complete with a desk, chairs, a fridge with a tv on top and he literally just sits out there alone, does cross words, watches sports, drinks and chain smokes. On the weekends he'll have some buddies over for beers but thats the extent of his social interactions. He drinks every single day and smokes 2 packs a day, no exaggerations. On the weekends my mom has to stay up late because he will pass out drunk and high in his chair in the garage with the doors open and my mom has to wake him up and tell him to come to bed. I haven't lived there on years but when I did live there when I was young he would fall asleep sitting up on the couch with his head tilted back. What compels a man to do this to himself? It's such a sad display to see. It's funny because despite all this he's been able to hold a respectable government job that pays damn well for 20+ years and he'll be able to retire very soon, but my mom told me once he retires then every night will be a weekend night for him, meaning he'll be getting so black out drink every night. He's already had a heart attack and had to have some heart surgery but he keeps drinking and smoking like there's no tomorrow. He's going to die and leave my mom alone for probably 20+ years. It's so sad to see someone abuse themselves like that. He just has absolutely zero desire to cut back on anything, he just loves getting f----- up. : Anonymous 214 KB JPG 08/03/22(Wed)11:36:44 No.27029743 : Anonymous >>27029734 (OP) # >he literally just sits out there alone, does cross words, watches sports, drinks and chain smokes how can one man be so based? 08/03/22(Wed)11:51:03 No.27029792 : Anonymous >>27029734 (OP) # Hey son. Stop posting about me and go to bed. But bring me a beer before you do

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Anon doesnt understand the fans | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/10/18 (Wed)14:31:38 No.77357278 36 KB JPG >be me >one of the most recognized artists of the past two decades >most people s--- on my latest releases and style >after four years with no solo album, releases a calm and emotional song pouring my heart and insecurities out and admitting I could be better >everybody s---- on it >releases highly anticipated album that includes all my different styles throughout the years >everybody s---- on it >releases verse going insane and s------- all over the fans and critics for giving me s--- nonstop >everybody f------ loves it
: Anonymous 01/10/18 (Wed)14:31:38 No.77357278 36 KB JPG >be me >one of the most recognized artists of the past two decades >most people s--- on my latest releases and style >after four years with no solo album, releases a calm and emotional song pouring my heart and insecurities out and admitting I could be better >everybody s---- on it >releases highly anticipated album that includes all my different styles throughout the years >everybody s---- on it >releases verse going insane and s------- all over the fans and critics for giving me s--- nonstop >everybody f------ loves it

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Anon encounter magic | /r/Greentext


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Anon misses his bro | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 02/23/18 (Fri)10:10:38 No.43412282 >be me 13 years old > grew up in a f----- up home with manipulative and abusive parents > older brother quits his study in the midst of getting a PhD to get me and my little sister out of the house 38 KB JPG > living with him >haven't been happier in my life > practically saved our life > he forces me to keep my attention at school to accomplish something in my life, something he sacrificed for us > 2 years go by > he got diagnosed with pancreatic cancer > he never lost hope and always walked around with a smile > dies > 14 years of school and many degrees later > mfw I'm a certified orthopedic surgeon and I'd probably have killed myself if he wasn't there for us > i will never forget you bro
Anonymous 02/23/18 (Fri)10:10:38 No.43412282 >be me 13 years old > grew up in a f----- up home with manipulative and abusive parents > older brother quits his study in the midst of getting a PhD to get me and my little sister out of the house 38 KB JPG > living with him >haven't been happier in my life > practically saved our life > he forces me to keep my attention at school to accomplish something in my life, something he sacrificed for us > 2 years go by > he got diagnosed with pancreatic cancer > he never lost hope and always walked around with a smile > dies > 14 years of school and many degrees later > mfw I'm a certified orthopedic surgeon and I'd probably have killed myself if he wasn't there for us > i will never forget you bro

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Anon understands what it means to be French | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous vive la france 08/03/22(Wed)14:50:43 No.883213226 72 KB PNG >be me italian >open a french book once >understand what beeing french really means >being French means not taking a shower >to be French means to eat fried onions >being French means getting p----- off when something doesn't suit you >being French means you like to do it weird but you never do it >to be French means to believe that you are superior to everyone >in conclusion, to be French means to be incel >I am a proud Frenchman.
: Anonymous vive la france 08/03/22(Wed)14:50:43 No.883213226 72 KB PNG >be me italian >open a french book once >understand what beeing french really means >being French means not taking a shower >to be French means to eat fried onions >being French means getting p----- off when something doesn't suit you >being French means you like to do it weird but you never do it >to be French means to believe that you are superior to everyone >in conclusion, to be French means to be incel >I am a proud Frenchman.

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Anon is making others smile | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 7 KB JPG 2 Replies / 1 Image : Anonymous 78 KB JPG 08/03/22(Wed)12:46:16 No.883201604 Hey Mr Poopiebutt poopiebutt poopie butt poopie butt, poopie butt? Poopie in the butt! >883201953 # View Thread >>883201604 (OP) # Hi Anon. I just wanted to say that I *love* the picture of Pepe you posted where he is smiling. Plus, you are talking about "poopie butt". That is SOOO F------ CUTE!!!! AWW!!! Here's a hug for making me smile --> *hugs* Please reply back with a hug! 08/03/22(Wed)12:52:49 No.883201810
: Anonymous 7 KB JPG 2 Replies / 1 Image : Anonymous 78 KB JPG 08/03/22(Wed)12:46:16 No.883201604 Hey Mr Poopiebutt poopiebutt poopie butt poopie butt, poopie butt? Poopie in the butt! >883201953 # View Thread >>883201604 (OP) # Hi Anon. I just wanted to say that I *love* the picture of Pepe you posted where he is smiling. Plus, you are talking about "poopie butt". That is SOOO F------ CUTE!!!! AWW!!! Here's a hug for making me smile --> *hugs* Please reply back with a hug! 08/03/22(Wed)12:52:49 No.883201810

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Anon doesn't understand music | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 30 KB JPG 08/02/22(Tue)14:45:26 No.883185089 >compress the s--- out of tone >speed up audio >play obscure chords >tap OMG YOU'RE SO TALENTED Why do people like this s---?
Anonymous 30 KB JPG 08/02/22(Tue)14:45:26 No.883185089 >compress the s--- out of tone >speed up audio >play obscure chords >tap OMG YOU'RE SO TALENTED Why do people like this s---?

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Germanon creates the best piece of literature known to man | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/06/16(Sun)15:36:19 No.710790240 Sorry for s------ English I'm Germany but today encountered I on Autismus the Street Autism Person >am me >walk happy down Street because I've new Headphoneset 131 KB JPG >then see I very very weirdo Person that runs and the Hands is flapping >Say him "Hello there, not normal!" >And he gived me instant Sorrow that I did that >follow me fast with much cry of "ÖÖÖNNNGHÜOÜÜÜHNN" though entire Street >he is fast and gives not f--- about car in Street that him is moving very fast >he becomes hit by Car >I run like Devil out of Scene
: Anonymous 11/06/16(Sun)15:36:19 No.710790240 Sorry for s------ English I'm Germany but today encountered I on Autismus the Street Autism Person >am me >walk happy down Street because I've new Headphoneset 131 KB JPG >then see I very very weirdo Person that runs and the Hands is flapping >Say him "Hello there, not normal!" >And he gived me instant Sorrow that I did that >follow me fast with much cry of "ÖÖÖNNNGHÜOÜÜÜHNN" though entire Street >he is fast and gives not f--- about car in Street that him is moving very fast >he becomes hit by Car >I run like Devil out of Scene

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Anon has hit cock bottom | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 270 KB PNG 08/03/22(Wed)07:56:28 No.69664105 >ghosted by fat, 38 y/o, single mother Where do you eve go from here?
: Anonymous 270 KB PNG 08/03/22(Wed)07:56:28 No.69664105 >ghosted by fat, 38 y/o, single mother Where do you eve go from here?

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