Greentext Stories - Images

Sorted By:

Anon Gives it to us Straight | /r/Greentext

File: images (5).jpg (25 KB, 228x358) Anonymous 11/24/22(Thu)20:55:03 No.889655339 [Reply] >>889655419 I'm a super straight guy and I have this message to all you f---. Being with a woman is gay and here's why. >The average woman has been with a guy >The average woman's mouth has kissed a dude and sucked a d---. Kissing her is basically Kissing a dude and sucking a d---. >The average woman's hands have touched a guys d--- so touching hers is touching a guys d---. >Her p---- has had a d--- or his mouth which is basically f------ a dude. >Being with a woman is basically like being with a guy which is really gay. >The average straight guy has been with a woman. >So sucking a straight guys d--- is basically the same as being with a woman which is really straight.
File: images (5).jpg (25 KB, 228x358) Anonymous 11/24/22(Thu)20:55:03 No.889655339 [Reply] >>889655419 I'm a super straight guy and I have this message to all you f---. Being with a woman is gay and here's why. >The average woman has been with a guy >The average woman's mouth has kissed a dude and sucked a d---. Kissing her is basically Kissing a dude and sucking a d---. >The average woman's hands have touched a guys d--- so touching hers is touching a guys d---. >Her p---- has had a d--- or his mouth which is basically f------ a dude. >Being with a woman is basically like being with a guy which is really gay. >The average straight guy has been with a woman. >So sucking a straight guys d--- is basically the same as being with a woman which is really straight.

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext helmet sleeve

Kids, don’t try this at home | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: +oZhit1p) if you wanna go out in a wacky way, here you go. >get a credit card with a high limit >use it to by a parachute, some rope, and a one way ticket to vegas 03/20/13(Wed)01:43:54 No.466453728 Replies: >>466454185 >>466454462 >>466455276 >rent a fast convertable and get an assault riffle. >use gun to shoot blanks in the air near the police office then drive a way. >toss gun out of the car >the chase is on >cops tail you into dessert with news choppers above. >the time has come >have noose around your neck >other end of rope is tied to steering column. >cinder block on gas pedal >stand up and pull parachute. >neck snaps at the end of the rope >your lifeless body is now on TV, parasailing through the dessert behind a sports car with cops chasing it. BONUS POINTS >set car on fire just before you jump >the parachute says "Ron Paul 2004" >you are wearing a crotchless fursuit
Anonymous (ID: +oZhit1p) if you wanna go out in a wacky way, here you go. >get a credit card with a high limit >use it to by a parachute, some rope, and a one way ticket to vegas 03/20/13(Wed)01:43:54 No.466453728 Replies: >>466454185 >>466454462 >>466455276 >rent a fast convertable and get an assault riffle. >use gun to shoot blanks in the air near the police office then drive a way. >toss gun out of the car >the chase is on >cops tail you into dessert with news choppers above. >the time has come >have noose around your neck >other end of rope is tied to steering column. >cinder block on gas pedal >stand up and pull parachute. >neck snaps at the end of the rope >your lifeless body is now on TV, parasailing through the dessert behind a sports car with cops chasing it. BONUS POINTS >set car on fire just before you jump >the parachute says "Ron Paul 2004" >you are wearing a crotchless fursuit

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext font

Anon tries reddit | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 83 KB JPG 11/28/18 (Wed)18:37:23 No.786057786 >be me >go on Reddit >see that a post has gold and silver >wot.jpg >ffw a few weeks >see a post that made me laugh >click on button to give gold >a menu comes up to buy gold >confusion.jpg >click on buy gold >asks for a payment method >what the f--- >some f------ actually spend money to give a medal to posts and comments that they enjoy >mfw
Anonymous 83 KB JPG 11/28/18 (Wed)18:37:23 No.786057786 >be me >go on Reddit >see that a post has gold and silver >wot.jpg >ffw a few weeks >see a post that made me laugh >click on button to give gold >a menu comes up to buy gold >confusion.jpg >click on buy gold >asks for a payment method >what the f--- >some f------ actually spend money to give a medal to posts and comments that they enjoy >mfw

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext terrestrial plant

Anon lives like an Ancient Greek | /r/Greentext

Greeks were polytheistic and believed that the gods were immortal, but also that they had human qualities; religion became the basis for Greek mythology Ang p 158 KB JPG >read the Iliad and the odyssey >decide to try living like the ancient Greeks >start eating lots of lamb, vegetables, olive oil, garlic, fish >ready only Ancient Greek/Roman/Mediterranean literature and philosophy >sun my balls every day >start training more compounds, especially Olympic lifts >start growing a beard >listen to meditterranean music >drink only cheap red wine >refer to myself in the 3rd person as "zorba" >lifts skyrocket >interest from women skyrockets H-------- guys why didn't you tell me this was the key to happiness
Greeks were polytheistic and believed that the gods were immortal, but also that they had human qualities; religion became the basis for Greek mythology Ang p 158 KB JPG >read the Iliad and the odyssey >decide to try living like the ancient Greeks >start eating lots of lamb, vegetables, olive oil, garlic, fish >ready only Ancient Greek/Roman/Mediterranean literature and philosophy >sun my balls every day >start training more compounds, especially Olympic lifts >start growing a beard >listen to meditterranean music >drink only cheap red wine >refer to myself in the 3rd person as "zorba" >lifts skyrocket >interest from women skyrockets H-------- guys why didn't you tell me this was the key to happiness

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext font

art teacher is correct | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 21 KB JPG 02/15/22(Tue)10:05:18 No.872717870 >be me >high school >notice I haven't said a word in the first week >idea.docx >what if I pledge a vow of silence for the whole semester >actually commit >ffw a year >selective mutism >crippling social anxiety >art teacher thought I had autism
: Anonymous 21 KB JPG 02/15/22(Tue)10:05:18 No.872717870 >be me >high school >notice I haven't said a word in the first week >idea.docx >what if I pledge a vow of silence for the whole semester >actually commit >ffw a year >selective mutism >crippling social anxiety >art teacher thought I had autism

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext font happy

The weed funder | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous my mom funds my weed 11/25/22(Fri)03:25:47 No.889626375 >run out of the devils lettuce >to fat and lazy to work >ask mom for money >"what is it for?" >Döner >"sure anon here's 20€" >go to dealer >get 2.5g because hes nice life is good 62 KB JPG
: Anonymous my mom funds my weed 11/25/22(Fri)03:25:47 No.889626375 >run out of the devils lettuce >to fat and lazy to work >ask mom for money >"what is it for?" >Döner >"sure anon here's 20€" >go to dealer >get 2.5g because hes nice life is good 62 KB JPG

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext happy font terrestrial plant

Anon is a man of God | /r/Greentext

File: chad.jpg (36 KB, 621x697) Anonymous (ID: RIHCfT8h 11/25/22(Fri)02:24:33 No.405850891 [Reply] >>405850971 >Be me >Order a h----- for 4 hours >Once she arrives I give her a long dress to wear >Take here to my living room >Start reading The Bible for her for 4 hours >Give her after 4 hours her money and a copy of The Bible >She leaves Anonymous (ID: _ql8TUzP/ >>405850891 (OP) Based 11/25/22(Fri)02:25:51 No.405850971
File: chad.jpg (36 KB, 621x697) Anonymous (ID: RIHCfT8h 11/25/22(Fri)02:24:33 No.405850891 [Reply] >>405850971 >Be me >Order a h----- for 4 hours >Once she arrives I give her a long dress to wear >Take here to my living room >Start reading The Bible for her for 4 hours >Give her after 4 hours her money and a copy of The Bible >She leaves Anonymous (ID: _ql8TUzP/ >>405850891 (OP) Based 11/25/22(Fri)02:25:51 No.405850971

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext rectangle font

Anon is watching Star Trek: TNG | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 03/23/21(Tue)01:11:43 No.549158492 1544755507465.png (32 KB, 648x748) google yandex iqdb wait Computer. Re-create a 20th century Earth based American restaurant by the name of Golden Coral. Occupy the restaurant with diners so that it looks like an average Friday night for the time. Also, I want a copy of one Diana Troi, as my server for the evening. Not an exact copy mind you. Add say.......30 lbs of extra mass to her buttocks, thighs and breasts. Engage door locks, authorization code "Riker-28740 GAMMA", and disable comms. I am not to be disturbed. Oh, and Computer..... set fried chicken and gravy to unlimited, and disengage all safety protocols.
Anonymous 03/23/21(Tue)01:11:43 No.549158492 1544755507465.png (32 KB, 648x748) google yandex iqdb wait Computer. Re-create a 20th century Earth based American restaurant by the name of Golden Coral. Occupy the restaurant with diners so that it looks like an average Friday night for the time. Also, I want a copy of one Diana Troi, as my server for the evening. Not an exact copy mind you. Add say.......30 lbs of extra mass to her buttocks, thighs and breasts. Engage door locks, authorization code "Riker-28740 GAMMA", and disable comms. I am not to be disturbed. Oh, and Computer..... set fried chicken and gravy to unlimited, and disengage all safety protocols.

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext font

Anon feels that life is unfair | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/24/22(Thu)12:06:15 No.71115050 >Grow up in a f----- up household and have a hard childhood 170 KB JPG >Become a chad, a leader, someone who gets s--- done, the original alpha. >Grow up with loving parents and have a nice childhood >Become a f------ incel, a wimp that can't even talk to women or get a job Why is life so unfair? Or is this it's way of being fair?
: Anonymous 11/24/22(Thu)12:06:15 No.71115050 >Grow up in a f----- up household and have a hard childhood 170 KB JPG >Become a chad, a leader, someone who gets s--- done, the original alpha. >Grow up with loving parents and have a nice childhood >Become a f------ incel, a wimp that can't even talk to women or get a job Why is life so unfair? Or is this it's way of being fair?

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext terrestrial plant

Anon profits off racism | /r/Greentext

File: tom cruise.jpg (69 KB, 1148x1200) Anonymous 10/30/18(Tue)17:04:08 No.783664687 [Reply] >be me >latino >have rather pale skin >work at cafe >no white employees at time >some white guy places an order, seems a bit uncomfortable >when I go give him his coffee, he suddenly smiles >"nice to see there's at least one proper american working here. brownies won't erase us" >mfw he slides me $50 to pocket
File: tom cruise.jpg (69 KB, 1148x1200) Anonymous 10/30/18(Tue)17:04:08 No.783664687 [Reply] >be me >latino >have rather pale skin >work at cafe >no white employees at time >some white guy places an order, seems a bit uncomfortable >when I go give him his coffee, he suddenly smiles >"nice to see there's at least one proper american working here. brownies won't erase us" >mfw he slides me $50 to pocket

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext forehead chin smile eyebrow vision care jaw eyewear font happy

Anon and friends have a good laugh | /r/Greentext

⠀ Memories from when you were younger that you'll never forget thread Memories from when you were yo(...) 195 KB JPG I'll start 11/24/22(Thu)21:00:54 No.71119829 >be me >in secondary 2 >be in music class ofw >music teachers informs us of a field trip to see a play for free >was a German play with English subtitles >also tells us that we can invite any friends from outside the music program >f--- it, why not >invite 2 friends >play starts >we can't stfu during the play, making jokes every 2 minutes and laughing audibly >get dirty looks from others >don't care, continue >end of play comes along >standing ovation begins >friend 1 pulls out his phone and begins playing "Hitler Speech Earrape" at half volume >sounded f------ hilarious with the clapping from the standing ovation >me and friend 2 try to get him to stop while simultaneously trying not to burst out laughing >fail.jpeg
⠀ Memories from when you were younger that you'll never forget thread Memories from when you were yo(...) 195 KB JPG I'll start 11/24/22(Thu)21:00:54 No.71119829 >be me >in secondary 2 >be in music class ofw >music teachers informs us of a field trip to see a play for free >was a German play with English subtitles >also tells us that we can invite any friends from outside the music program >f--- it, why not >invite 2 friends >play starts >we can't stfu during the play, making jokes every 2 minutes and laughing audibly >get dirty looks from others >don't care, continue >end of play comes along >standing ovation begins >friend 1 pulls out his phone and begins playing "Hitler Speech Earrape" at half volume >sounded f------ hilarious with the clapping from the standing ovation >me and friend 2 try to get him to stop while simultaneously trying not to burst out laughing >fail.jpeg

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext font

Anon tactically uses the gamerword | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Born to Fren 74 KB JPG 09/05/20(Sat)06:33:24 No.835441659 >be a fren in a discord server >a non fren there >the non fren is super toxic and makes me sad >playing league of legends like always in discord group >we are winning >pretend to laugh at all toxic non fren's jokes >he's feeling good >starts being toxic towards enemy team >i laugh and say over voice >now is the time i strike >"call their adc a n-----" >he laughs and calls them n----- >report him after the game with a support ticket >next day in discord >he is freaking out >his account has been perma banned >he had a beta account and had the retail skins >non fren deleted
: Anonymous Born to Fren 74 KB JPG 09/05/20(Sat)06:33:24 No.835441659 >be a fren in a discord server >a non fren there >the non fren is super toxic and makes me sad >playing league of legends like always in discord group >we are winning >pretend to laugh at all toxic non fren's jokes >he's feeling good >starts being toxic towards enemy team >i laugh and say over voice >now is the time i strike >"call their adc a n-----" >he laughs and calls them n----- >report him after the game with a support ticket >next day in discord >he is freaking out >his account has been perma banned >he had a beta account and had the retail skins >non fren deleted

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext terrestrial plant

Anon wants to hang out with fellow robots. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous /ndhg/ - neet depressed hopele(...) 11/24/22(Thu)16:51:03 No.71110366 206 KB JPG this is a place for people totally dead inside with nothing left >i have a friend/boyfriend/girlfriend may i pose here? nope f--- off >i have a job can i post here? nope f--- off >i have goals and aspirations am i welcome here? nope f--- off this is a place for people that have totally given up hope and just want to talk to other losers. normies please go to your 800 other echo chambers you have available.
: Anonymous /ndhg/ - neet depressed hopele(...) 11/24/22(Thu)16:51:03 No.71110366 206 KB JPG this is a place for people totally dead inside with nothing left >i have a friend/boyfriend/girlfriend may i pose here? nope f--- off >i have a job can i post here? nope f--- off >i have goals and aspirations am i welcome here? nope f--- off this is a place for people that have totally given up hope and just want to talk to other losers. normies please go to your 800 other echo chambers you have available.

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext font terrestrial plant

anon's Thanksgiving | /r/Greentext

2a0.jpg 76 KB JPG >be me >Show up to Thanksgiving at parents >Entire family of 30 is there >All of various beliefs >Family screams at each other for entire meal >Grandpa and grandpa start throwing punches at my brother who has liberal beliefs >Sister barks at my conservative uncle >Turkey is thrown, slurs are said >Dad screams saying we're all disappointments >Not a moment of silence >Finally things calm down and we say what we're grateful for >Each family member talks about how we love each other and would die for each other >Go home, we're gonna do this again next year This is what family is about
2a0.jpg 76 KB JPG >be me >Show up to Thanksgiving at parents >Entire family of 30 is there >All of various beliefs >Family screams at each other for entire meal >Grandpa and grandpa start throwing punches at my brother who has liberal beliefs >Sister barks at my conservative uncle >Turkey is thrown, slurs are said >Dad screams saying we're all disappointments >Not a moment of silence >Finally things calm down and we say what we're grateful for >Each family member talks about how we love each other and would die for each other >Go home, we're gonna do this again next year This is what family is about

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext smile jaw font flash photography chest

Family practice | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 6 KB JPG 11/03/22(Thu)06:49:30 No.70840125 >finally caved in and got a practice gf >years go by and we have a practice wedding >now she's pregnant with my 2nd practice kid I'm in way too deep now bros...
: Anonymous 6 KB JPG 11/03/22(Thu)06:49:30 No.70840125 >finally caved in and got a practice gf >years go by and we have a practice wedding >now she's pregnant with my 2nd practice kid I'm in way too deep now bros...

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext font terrestrial plant

Anon and throws away his only chance | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 11/22/22(Tue)13:51:56 No.27772330 >>27772346 >>27779957 >>27762172 (OP) >be me >2 weeks ago >girl from the gym started following me on IG >ironically say "hi" >we had a date (she kissed me lol) >the second day we had sex >she falls in love whit me, she says to me "I love you" >now she's making future plans >she's a good girl but I can't give her a good life due to present logistical circumstances, so I need to get rid of her How can I do it as gently and politely as possible? Anonymous 11/22/22(Tue)13:55:48 No.27772346 >>27772330 f--- you
Anonymous 11/22/22(Tue)13:51:56 No.27772330 >>27772346 >>27779957 >>27762172 (OP) >be me >2 weeks ago >girl from the gym started following me on IG >ironically say "hi" >we had a date (she kissed me lol) >the second day we had sex >she falls in love whit me, she says to me "I love you" >now she's making future plans >she's a good girl but I can't give her a good life due to present logistical circumstances, so I need to get rid of her How can I do it as gently and politely as possible? Anonymous 11/22/22(Tue)13:55:48 No.27772346 >>27772330 f--- you

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext font